Lora:

I've been waiting here
Patiently, Wishing and wanting for you to leave already. When is it that you will finally pack your stuff and go? How long has it been? two... three years that I had to look at the carpet while I listened to those harsh words that you would yell to me.
Useless and Worthless, Stupid and Hopeless, Lazy and Irresponsible
Is what went inside my head and I believed it at first.
You told me I had to life, no existence in this world that I was a waste of space.
I'm not sure why but you made me believe it all.
And I felt horrible....
But I'm not taking it any more. I'm tired of you,
I hate you, I wish you would die already.
You say you want to leave, that you hate all of us.
Go!
There's the door!
There's your bags
Get your damn stuff and go!
I hate you!
No one wants you here
No one ever did.
You try and act like a father like your in a nice mood. But you're such a horrible actor.I can see through your lies, You never once cared about us.
That smile and Laugh you always fake does it hurt when you show it on your face?
Especially when you show it to me?
Why force it when you know you hate us...
You hate me.
I don't care any more. I'm not taking your words any more. I'm not that useless
Worthless person you called me before.
I changed! I'm different!
And I will prove you wrong!
YOU know I hate you
I know YOU hate me. So now let's play a little game...
And see who the useless and worthless person really is. Someone who drinks and smokes
Never helps around the house
Never gives a damn about his own children either.
Gets drunk and blames all his problems on me.
or Me?
I really had enough and im leaving home.....

My heart it wants to stay but my mind will not obey,
And so I stand at the mirror all night and all day,
Wondering if anyone would care if I am not here the next day.
But everyone is hated in this cruel and evil place, aren't they?
And swirling through my head are questions still not asked,
But if I did ever ask them-Everyone would laugh,
On the outside I'm not perfect but what I own shows I am.
Whenever friends are over,
Pretending to be perfect,
But it is never like that when friends are gone,
And so now I run,
Away from home and I don't know where I'm going,
hundred percent sure i wont come back home......
Good Bye.....
running away fro home, start of a new life.
I know it's a risk
I have no money,
no job,
but its where I can be free.

I quickly scrawl a note and set it on the table. It only contains eight words, but its enough.
‘I had enough, don’t look for me, bye’
I run upstairs searching for money in my mum’s room, then I notice my step dad’s jeans lying on the corner of the bed. I examine through his front and back pocket and then find his black leathered wallet, I find about hundred pounds. That will be enough for today, then I’ll look for a job. At that moment I catch a glimpse of countless cash located on the window sill, there is enough to pay a place to stay over for couple of days.
I have only a few supplies with me, a knife, a lighter, my cigarette, my mobile, my cosmetic bag with full of make-up and a survival book, basically my diary. I pedal fast as I reach to the end of our drive way. I still have a couple miles to go until I reach the train station. My plan is to take the five o’clock train to a little rural town, search around for a suitable place to unpack.
With my light as a empty bottle back pack on, against my thin back bone, in a slow speed I stroll along the dark cold empty road. While on the way, I notice a small hotel in the corner ‘Onura’ next to the restaurant. The lights are switched on, which means it’s open. I feel a hot air from above, from the air conditioner as I enter the hotel. I notice a charming and slender but muscular boy in the front desk, one of the workers, just enough where he can pack punch. His face shows that he can look after his women and hard plus a face that shows care and comfort. Hair gelled up high done carefully and neatly.
He has a expensive button up shirt with black trousers and a leathered black belt. He is somewhat mysterious. I don’t know him but what I know enchants me, like a song sung far away.
I see his furtively and note eyes. Hazel and dreamy, his spirit half elsewhere. I note the scene of his dark, lustrous hair. I am driven by a dream I cant control.


Joshua:

Her silky, straight, long blond hair gracefully falls down to her shoulders and encircles her diamond-shaped face.
A golden suntan usually brings out her smooth, clear complexion and high cheek bones.
Her large deep blue eyes, reminds me of a lake on a stormy day. Her small nose, gives her a little girl look that makes me want to smile when she looks at me. And her full lips makes me want to kiss her. Her white teeth brighten ups her whole face. I guess you can tell that I am head over in love with her.
I always knew that love would come and find me someday, but never I did know that it would be her who was headed my way. She caught me off and took me by surprise.


Lora:

He shots me a full smile when he catches me staring at him and I do the same.
“how could I help you pretty lady?” he asks politely. pretty lady? J
I blush hard.
“oh, I was looking for a spare room to stay over night?”
“okay.” he searches.
“yes, there’s one room, 81.” he gently throws the key and I catch it with one hands.
“good catch.” he smirks.
“I know.” I respond.
“thank you.” I add and walk up the creaking stairs.
When I open the door, all I see is, a old wooden bed, white small draw, a dark brown book shelf and a end table matching the colour of the bed. At that instant I see another door, obviously that’s the toilet. I scan the bathroom, kind of small but it’s enough,. It smells very fresh.
After I install my belonging, I throw myself on the comfortable looking bed placed near the double huge window. I feel my eyelids drift shut, let peace wash over me.

The next warm day, I wake up really early which is 9:30. I march around the town hoping to find a good job. On the way I see a random adult guy sitting in front of a restaurant sipping his tea.
“sorry, im looking for a suitable, not tiring job, is there anyone you know that needs a element?”
“yes, if you walk a little and turn right where there is a café, there is a flower shop, a old lady works there, she is looking for a employer.” he explains and writes down the name given to the shop on a ripped small piece of paper.
“thank you so much, you saved my life.” I express.
“it’s okay.” he smiles.
I am so happy that any minute if I was wearing trousers I would of do a cartwheel.
At arrival, I catch a sight of ‘looking for an element’ printed on the white A4 piece of paper celataped outside the door.
“oh yes.” I tense my hand.
I knock on the glass door. I open it, I smell fresh flowers. I see an old lady sitting in an arm chair.
“sorry to disturb you, but I heard you are looking for a element.”
“yes my darling, would you like to work here?” she requests in a nice way.
I can see the clumps of make up between her wrinkles. I cant stop staring at the skin handing from her chin just flapping around. When she talks its like watching the waves in the ocean. I gaze at her glasses on the tip of her nose.
“yes please.” I beg.
“sure, come with me, lets talk about the job a little bit.”
I follow her upstairs to her small office leaving a various gap between each other.
Firstly, I will be working part time, only Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednesdays. I’ll get £75 every week. That’s great money!
I watch her write simple ‘things I will do’ on a plain white A4 piece of paper.

Things I will do:
1. Sweep the floors before leaving.
2. Make tea or coffee to customers when wanted.
3. Throw away rubbishes.
4. Wrap flower bouquets.
5. Place new flowers delivered in the correct pots. (e.g., roses to red pots.)

I cant wait to start work tomorrow. On the way to the hotel, I count how much I’ve got left, oh no! only 40 quid. At least I wont starve.
The following Monday morning, I have a quick shower and start to get ready. I put on my plain white top, black skinny jeans that shows the shape of my long legs and butt. I do my hair into a ponytail.
I face the large sized mirror hanging on the bathroom wall.
I slowly put a little light foundation on my forehead, chin, noise and cheek, using my thick foundation brush I blend it outwards even though I don’t have any spots or redness. I coat my long eyelashes with a large amount of mascara. I spread my smooth red lips with my pink lip gloss.
Done!
I set my foot inside my white ballerina shoes and exit from the room.
“sorry, excuse me.” I feel someone grab hold of my arm as I pass the front desk. It sounds familiar. I swing round to see what that person wants. It’s the good-looking guy, the one that shot me a full smile and called me pretty.
“yes? I raise both my brow eyebrows.
“it’s the deadline of your payment for your room.” he explains.
“oh, dam it.” I punch my palm.
“I don’t have money on me, im working and I’ll get my money on Wednesday and I promise to pay you.” which is in three days.
His eye contact breaks with me and views the red carpet.
“sure.” he forces him self to smile.
When I arrive at work, I hang my bag and jacket on the peg.
We have one costumer already in the early morning.
“ I want wedding bouquets please.” she commands.
“sure.” I reply.
I get a bunch of different type of flowers.
I place a rubber band around the stem about 2 inches from the bottom. I wet the napkin and wrap it around the base of the bouquet, covering the bottom of the stems.
I take a plastic bag from the draw and put a little bit of water into it. I then insert the paper-wrapped stems, and rubber band the top of the plastic bag around the stems. I take a wax paper from the side, I pull out a length of the paper as rough estimate of how much I will need to wrap the flowers. I lay the bouquet on the short edge of the wax paper. I roll the bouquet gently until I completely wrapped the wax paper around it, and then continue half way again. I tape the edge so it doesn’t unwrap. I scrunch the bottom of the wax paper around the stem and tape it securely. I tie a white ribbon to hide the tape. To decorate it more, I select a square of coloured tissue paper and lay it out flat. at that moment I grab the bouquet and lay it on the corner of the tissue paper. I hold the corner of the paper and smoothly roll the bouquet and paper towards the opposing corner to create a tissue paper cone to hold the flowers. I tape the edges. I then fold the bottom of the cone and tape it in place, and tie the whole bouquet with a red coloured ribbon.
“Done.” I hand it over to the blond lady.
“how much is that?”
“35 quid.” I speak.
She hands me the money and exits from the shop.

Second day in work was great, it was really busy, there was more than 10 customers in and out at the same time- first class.

On Wednesday, last day of work wasn’t so great as yesterday. As there was no customers after four, she let me out earlier. I usually finish at 5:30. I show up at the hotel plus pay the rest of the money I promised to pay.
“will you be at the party today?” Joshua asks in a kind way, sort of flirty.
“what party?” I raise both of my brown eyebrows-confused.
“we have parties for our customers every two days, on Wednesday and Sunday for them to have fun.”
“what time does it start?”
“it starts at 6:00 in the hall downstairs, you coming?”
“yep.” I put my thumbs up and sprint to my room. My hands shaking I unlock the front door and enter the room.
I run to the bathroom, have a quick hot shower using my favourite shampoo and then my conditioner to make my hair look sleek. I fully wash it not wanting a greasy hair later. As that I am a shaving girl I shave my legs and underarms. When I get out the shower, I use my exfoliant and loofah to ensure my skin is shining. I use a good smelling body exfoliator to really smell beautiful.
I cream my self every where, over arms, elbow and legs, and anywhere else other than my face. For my face cream I use a gentle face cream to moisturize , making the skin soft and radiant. I then blow dry my hair as my hair style with be loose curls which I will need my hair dried fully to be in it’s place.
I apply deodorant at this stage.
Make up time!
I put foundation on my forehead, cheeks, chin, using my foundation brush I bought week ago, I spread the foundation over my face giving it a nice, shiny look.
In a speed of light, I coat my long eyelashes with my thickening mascara which makes my eyelashes look even longer.
I spread my pink lipstick on my red full smooth lips. I apply a little pink blusher for my cheeks to stand out.
I gradually chose my white knee length dress that I wore once in a party.
I curl my hair bit by bit, then shake my head to give loose curls as I prefer and it looks much better on me
Before I get out, I spray a very little amount of my perfume and set my foot inside my white ballerina shoes. I look at my reflection in the mirror ‘I looking awesome’
When I end up in the hall, Joshua is waiting outside the double wooden door to welcome others.
He stares at me with his sky blue eyes which makes me feel very uncomfortable and he smiles.
“hey.” I wave kindly.
“hello.” his eyes glow.
We have some fun with Joshua, doesn’t matter what we do or what others say as long as we just have fun.
We get to know each other well, exchanging jokes and tales and chatters before we get things that matter. We dance and dance across the hall, every one lays their eyes on us.
“come with me.” he pulls me aside.
He asks me if I could be his girlfriend and I accept. Slowly, our lips press. It wasn’t a proper kiss. I felt my palms sweat and my face got hotter and hotter which I knew that I was blushing. Hate it when that happens especially next to boys.


Joshua is my boyfriend now, were going out for our FIRST DATE and im so excited and nervous. I get ready and go.
I am sitting at the table tapping my fingers anxiously, feeling excited yet apprehensive. The moderate sea breeze didn’t seem to calm em down one bit. As I sat gazing at the edge of the waters where the sky meets the sea, I felt a stir at the table. it was Joshua. My heart thumping so fast… my ears and cheeks are flushing red, I believe. He smiles at me and with the sweetest voice of the heaven said ‘hi’ I smile back. I am bunch of nerves at the time when he suggests flipping thought the menu. I agree readily, with relief. He were dressed casually, . He is wearing a white t-shirt with the word you are my angle in bold red. A matching jacket and baggy jeans. You have no idea how cute he looks.
My heart was leaping with joy when he said I looked smart with my shirt and sleeveless polo pull-over. He mentioned that he really likes the way my silky blond hair was pulled back into a neat ponytail with that simple black clip and he beamed with that lovely look on my face. I was certainly at the right place at the right time, with the right guy of my life. We ordered our food with the friendly waitress. The day seemed so perfect that I could feel my heart wanting to burst into a song as I slowly eased into comfort being with you. To be continued...
Upon finishing our meal, he suggested watching a movie.
He clanged onto my arm and gave me such a girlish smile that my heart melted. It could definitely be re-molded into the shape of a heart! The moonlit night sky made the ambience that we are assimilating into such a wonderful paradise. The sound of the lapping waves and his gentle whispers that were caressing my skin ever so gently, made me wonder how real this scenario was.


Joshua:

I grew courageous and turn her around, holding her by her waist. She is so close to me, I could smell your scent, so sweet. She rests her head on my chest and hugged me tight. I bit her on the neck gently, pulled her apart and pressed my lips against hers. It was such a magical moment. We began kissing and I felt her, the whole of her, so soft. her hands around my neck. I looked at her straight in the eye and said:" I love you Lora, never shall we part this lifetime." He takes me to his room which was downstairs near the hall.


Lora:

I am a bit hesitant to go in as I had never been alone with a man in a room before.
“what’s up?” he smiles.’ do you think im going to tear all our clothes off or something?’
‘no’ I say, plonking myself down on his bed. He sits besides me and starts to kiss me, I grew tense.
“what’s the matter?”
I shrug. ‘nothing’ I lie. I felt very nervous. Joshua pulled away from me. I felt bad and I wanted to tell him what was on my mind but the look on his face put me off.
After a moment he started talking.
“look, Lora, your not going to get pregnant by kissing. It’s early days yet, and we’re just getting to know each other in a new way.”
“yeah, your right.” I sign.
He goes to the shop to get couple of bottles of wine. He pours him self and me loads of wine in a large glass. He turns the stereo on.
“that is a big glass.” I say, sipping it.
“yeah, I thought it would save me pouring it too often.”
I put the glass down on the bedside, and say’ c’mon, let’s dance.’
We dance and dance. He refills the glass. I drink. Joshua drinks.
My head is lying comfortably on Joshua’s shoulder. Joshua responds by squeezing me tightly.
The room was quiet.
My mind was occupied with Joshua. We look deeply into each others eyes. Our lips joined and my body felt like it has been set on fire. He wraps his arms around me tightly. Joshua began to pant and moan breathlessly.
Things were moving fast. Before I knew it, my white top was off.


Lora:


I woke up finding myself wrapped in his arms. I sit up, thinking about what had happened between me and Joshua the night before. The scene is in my head, I cant get it out.
His arm is around my waist. Instantly, I sit up and nudge him to wake up.
‘Joshua, Joshua wake up.”
He just moans and tries to muzzle my neck. I give him a jab in the ribs.
“wake up.”
He turns to me, a big grin on his face.
“what’s the matter, babes?”
I remain silent.
“what’s the time?”
“late”
I jump out of bed pulling on my clothes.
Joshua gets out of bed.
“where are my shorts?” his words hit me very hard, we both look at each other and my heart sank. ‘oh, no, what have we done.’ I whisper.
“where are you going?” I ignore him and walk out of the room in silence. So many questions are twirling in my brain. what if I become pregnant? Bla bla bla….
I have a long, hot bath and straight get into bed.

I was in a deep sleep until I heard a soft knock on the door. I jump out of bed. ‘who could it be?’ I question myself. I think- obviously Joshua. Who else could it be?
I open the door, he steps into the room and stands in front of me.
A drop of tear rolls down my red cheek.
‘don’t cry’ he wipes my tear away.
‘ I trusted you. Why did you do it?”
‘ why did I do it?’ you wanted it as much as I did.’ he shouts back. He is right.
‘ look calm down Lora, it’s only happened once. It’s not as though you’ll get pregnant or anything?’
‘ but what if I do become p…..?’
I cut off. The ‘p’ word put me off.
There’s a long pause.

I get out and walk in the town as I need to think.
I don’t feel like looking at my body anymore.
I am so confused, frightened and upset.

I vomited about more than 7 times this week.
Im three days late for me ‘p’
What if im pregnant?
I drag myself out of bed and throw on my clothes. My mind was fixed on getting a pregnancy test kit. I finally reach the chemist. I buy it.
I pop in the restaurant opposite the chemist to use the loo. I want to be alone so I wait until the women comes out. Then I get in, locking the door behind me. I read the introduction follow them through. I put the apparition on top of the cistern and wait. My mind is numb. I don’t want to face the results. With one eye covered with my hand and the other one open, I check.
Oh no! im pregnant. What am I going to do? What about Joshua?
I push the door open, I go to the sink where I wash my hands and face. I pull the door and charge out. I head straight for the main doors, nearly knocking a 3 year old toddler, luckily he didn’t fall. I walk quickly wanting to get to the hotel as soon as possible. I feel like everyone knows, im so embarrassed. I cross the main road. I find myself running. The people who are too slow, I crash into them, I just don’t care-anymore.
My heart is beating fast.
I end up at the hotel after half an hour, in tears I run upstairs, Joshua sees me crying follows me upstairs trying to talk to me but I pretend I don’t hear. It seems like the end of the world. I felt Joshua grab my arm and I am yanked back in front of him. Looking red and upset.
‘are you okay?’ he asks .
I drop myself on the floor, hugging myself into a ball.
He picks me up and takes me into the room, hit’s the door shut with his left leg.
The pregnancy test was in my hand wrapped into a tissue. He takes it off me and unwraps it. His pauses and looks up at me feeling scared.
‘ you are pregnant’
I begin to rock, front and back, front and back.
I just nod, looking down at my foot.
‘I’ll make and appointment today for an abortion.’
‘what if I want the baby’
‘no, you must be joking, no way’
We just sit there in silence.
The room got hotter and hotter, I felt dizzy. It was difficult to breath. I run out.
‘ come here!.’ he raises his voice and runs behind me.
I place one foot on the road. The lorry got closer and closer, I take another step, suddenly I feel someone grab both of my arms and I am pulled back on the pavement. It was Joshua.
‘ are you mad?’ he screams- eyes watery-about to cry.
There was a bench, we both stubble towards it. Leaning against his shoulder, I started to cry. I want to die.

Morning came too quick. Joshua asked if he could be off today as he is very busy and they accepted. He drove me to the hospital-Hartford.
He pulls the car to a suitable place and holds my hand.
‘im always here to help you’
Knowing that he was there for me helped me. He turned away to look out of the window and I knew he was wiping away tears. My eyes are red as I have been crying for ages and ages. My mouth is dry as a plant awaiting for water. Joshua is waiting for me in the car. I went to see the counsellor on my own. I was scared. I didn’t know what to do.
The young lady asked my what the problem was and at first I found it difficult to talk but the it was as if something inside me broke open and all the fear came tumbling out.
‘what do you want to do?’
‘I’ve got to have an abortion’
‘Okay’
She gave me an scan appointment for next week Tuesday at 1:00pm in the afternoon. She told me that after the scan appointment, if I still don’t change my mind I should get another appointment for the abortion.
By now I am fifteen weeks pregnant. I lay there, Joshua gripping my hand tightly, my stomach still as flat as an A4 paper. The midwife ran the scanner over my jelly-coated stomach. At first I couldn’t make out the baby but the midwife helped me pick out the babies head, spinal cord and other part of its body.
‘what is the gender of the baby?’ Joshua asks.
The midwife presses the scanner harder on my stomach.
‘ouch’ I squeak
‘sorry’
‘are you okay?’ Joshua asks stroking my hair.
‘yes’ I nod twice.
‘the baby is a girl.’ the midwife announces.
I’m carrying a little baby girl inside me.
‘it’s a girl.’ Joshua says happily and then all of a sudden his mood changes to upset and he gazes at the baby picture celataped on the wall. Before we get out I ask for the midwife to arrange me another appointment for abortion. She arranges it for next week Thursday at 3:00pm in the afternoon. Deep deep down, I think I do want to have the baby but on the other hand I don’t have enough money to buy the babies equipments like clothing, nappies, creams……. Much more but I don’t have time to list you everything here or it’ll be mid night.
For the couple days, I stay in bed thinking about the abortion day. Joshua came and visited me nearly everyday after work. I search on Google ’young and pregnant’ I read so much about how they feel and it nearly made me cry. I decide to get that thing out of me so I can live my life.

The appointment day comes quickly. It feels like its only been two days. As Joshua is working, I go to the hospital on my own. The day before we had a long, long talk. I take the taxi straight off. When I enter the waiting room, I get the nerves, inside me is like there’s a volcano which is about to explode any minute. I start to sweat. The lady next to me smells like she hasn’t had a bath for years. Grows.
‘Lora Johnson’ the blond doctor shouts as she enters the room in her white costume.
I swallow hard. Im scared.
Here I am 17 and pregnant. Joshua is only 20 and I messed up his and my own life, its so unbelievable, I feel like the blame. If we just had protected ‘S’ then all this wouldn’t of happen at all.
‘here’ I wave my arm and follow her leaving a large amount of gap between each other.
As I get closer and closer to the room, I feel like my heart is melting like an ice cream melting in a hot summer day.
I knock on the door, my hands shaking.
‘come in’ it was a female voice.
She smirks and asks me to sit down on the chair opposite her desk.
‘so you want to have an abortion?’ she ask in a kind way which makes me feel much more confident and comfortable.
‘y-e-s’ I mumble and look down at my sweaty hands at the same time. This is so embarrassing.
‘are you sure, no one is forcing you to right?’ she takes few notes on the computer.
‘course not, this is my decision.’ I lie.
She asks me few more questions and asks me to undress while she sets up. I get half-undresses, only taking of my shoes and jacket.
‘come on, if you want this abortion you need to undress your bottom wear, there’s no need to get shy.’ I watch her opening the cupboard and installing her hands inside the white gloves.
‘okay’ I unzip my trousers and pull it down. I slowly lay on the bed, forcing my self to look down at my body, I have goose bumps all over. She places a white tissue paper below my stomach, which covers below and my legs.
‘ready?’
‘yes’ I close my eyes.
Unexpectedly Joshua barges in the room, all red, sweaty, looking like he’s been in a rush or some kind of thing. He shots me a full smile and I do the same.
‘I want the baby, come on lets go.’ he hugs me.
The nurse raises her tattooed eyebrows very high.
‘ we want the baby’ Joshua speaks for me. Is this a dream or what, he was the one who made me an appointment for abortion not me he agreed with me to get rid of the baby, but now he says he wants the baby. I feel happy that he wants it too and cares.
He gets out and I get dresses. ‘sorry for disturbing you’ I express to the nurse.
‘ no problem, get this’ she hands me a booklet about babies health and all those stuff.
‘thank you’ I take the booklet and run to the car park, seeing Joshua waiting outside the car, arms folded, when he sees me coming he runs up to me, hands wide open and hugs me so tight that my lungs are about to pop out, twirling me around like a tornado.
‘ouch my stomach.’ I shout.
‘oops sorry, are you okay.’ he feels my stomach.
‘yes.’ I nod.
We get in the car.
‘im sorry for making you go through all these, deep deep down I did really want the baby, im going to make you the happiest girl ever-actually a mother. ‘ he kisses me gently on my red full lips.
‘ Im sorry too, I messed up your life at a very early age.’ I play with my finger nails.
‘shut up, you actually made my life, I had no life before, I worked and worked in a small shity hotel nothing else, that’s not life.’ he kisses me on my hand. I am glad that he didn’t blank me out of his life.
He does a surprise to me and takes me to a huge restaurant. I was starving. We order our food, he buys chicken and rice. I eventually choose fries and chicken burger. Joshua promises me that he will buy me ice cream at the end.
‘I’ll buy a house for us three to live.’ he throws the chicken from side to side with his tongue. I guess it’s hot.
‘calm down, your going to burn your mouth.’ I giggle, holding myself so hard not to laugh.
Easter and summer flew by.
My stomach got bigger and bigger. Joshua was busy with the house whilst I was in shopping nearly everyday, buying XL clothes for myself, I already bought quite a bit for the baby in the summer sale. I and Joshua are planning to name our daughter ‘Julie’ nice name right? We think so. My life is going on a new direction.

I am sleeping, Joshua lying next to me with his top off, nights are hot now a days. All of a sudden I feel a cramp-pain, starts from my back, and quickly circles my stomach. I feel a rush of some hot substance between my legs. I grasped Joshua’s arm.
‘the baby is coming.’ I shout squeezing his arm tight.
‘oh sugar’ he throws himself out of bed.
He takes me to the nearest hospital even though I said I wanted my baby in Hartford Hospital as I gave the babies details.
The pain was incredible. The nurse settles me into a wheelchair. The doctor comes in the room. The pain got worse and worse. I lay on the bed.
‘Mmmmmmmmmmm, OUCH’ I scream, over and over again.
‘you can do it Lora.’ Joshua strokes me hair, kissing my forehead.
With my sharp finger nails digging into the palm of Joshua’s hand, and biting onto my bottom lip and I push.
‘push, push’
‘Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh’
‘again push’
Suddenly I feel something gush out of me. ‘well done, it’s all done.’
They take her out to wash.
‘we need to clean you first.’
once I was settled down on the ward, with the curtains drawn, I was relaxed. Joshua came in with a bunch of large flowers and a small present wrapped in pink wrapper with a red bow in the middle.
‘congratulations, hun.’ he kisses me’ you alright dow?’
‘yes’ I nod.
I’m a mother now, and he’s the father, I cant believe it. I was tired. The nurse pops her head around the curtain and says ‘would you both like tea?’
‘I don’t want one’ I protest.
‘no thank you. Joshua says in a nice way. I fall asleep.
‘we just had a baby-not me my wife, when will we be able to see her?’ Joshua asks the nurse passing by.
‘there washing her at the moment, she will be here in ten minutes or so.’ the nurse smiles.
I wonder who she looks like?
The door opens and the nurse comes in with out baby in her arms smiling, walking towards me.
She hands me the baby. She is so adorable. She is the most loveliest creature in the whole entire world.
She looks a bit like both of us. She has long lashes like me, she’s blond just like Joshua, she is pale, she is so small, she has a tiny nose and a tiny mouth. I gently bend over and softly kiss her on her red warm cheek. Then I smell her amazing smell, she smells sweet. I love her to bits, we made the correct decision to bring her to life. For the whole day, Julie was in Joshua’s arm, wondering around the small hospital room.

‘well done, that’s how you do it. I clap, Joshua already has experience of how to change nappy, feed the baby and bath children’s as he has a niece at the age of 2 and he looked after her for two weeks when her parents went America for a business.
It was end of Julie’s bath time. I give Julie to Joshua and cleanout the bathroom. Im a 17 years old girl, young, without parents and a mother, but im happy with Julie and Joshua, they’re my life…

Impressum

Tag der Veröffentlichung: 03.08.2011

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