Satified

You say all these little things,
But they mean a lot to me

.
I didn't believe what was happening,
Until that moment you left.
Two weeks passed and, all I could hear
Was your name, it was echoing in my head.
When you were gone, I wept and wept.
I could not sleep.
I could not dream.
Everyday that passed, I swore I saw you,
Awaiting me at my locker.
And then I opened my eyes.
"You're really gone," I thought, "Forever."
And I'll NEVER

be able to tell you,
How I really felt, feel, and will always feel.
You returned for sometime, I was ecstatic.
When I first saw you, I screamed with joy.
I didn't get a hug at first, when I did,
I was satisfied with glee.
There was little time left that we had.
The year was nearly over by the
Time we got back to normal.
The final day has come and gone,
And you went with it.
Now, I am back in this room,
Without you.
The room is silent without your
Laugh, your smile and your eyes.
I am no longer satisfied.
We no longer speak, maybe for the best.
But my heartaches of the memories,
In my chest.

No More Pain

I could not stop,
I could not stare.
You are no longer here.
I wish, I pray that you might
Come back just once.
And I could finally speak.
But that day will never come.
Why?
We do not speak, and
I do not have courage.
I miss your smile.
I miss your eyes.
I miss that laughter in my cries.
I've come to a conclusion in all of this.
I will shed tears no more,
I will speak your name no more.
I will forget you forever.

Truth & Lies

The truth is told, and we don't believe it.
The lies are cold, and that's how we see it.
I dare you to care.
I dare you to tear.
You only believe the lies,
Because you don't look in my eyes.
If I told you the truth,
Would you be happy?
Life is unexpected, we know this.
We learn to love, and live and kiss.
I'll tell you what's wrong,
You left me and I'm no Kong.
I am not strong, no.
And I cannot control my emotions.
You left me here all alone,
And I will not survive.
'You're emotions don't control you.'
Oh, but they do, because of you.
I tried to tell you, but my voice was dry.
Now a year has come and gone,
But you will not return.
I still want to tell you the truth,
But would you even care to listen?
I have shed my last tear, and
Will not remember your voice anymore.


Soft, Sweet Suicide

There's a soft, sweet whisper in the wind.
It sings to me gently, just around the bend.
I hear your name and sing sweetly.
I see you face and sigh contently.
I touch your arm and feel the great warmth.
Suddenly you are gone, and I am alone.
As I run toward your memory, it slowly
Slips through the cracks.
Screaming your name, my throat is dry.
I pick up something long and sharp, an axe.
And plunge it into my heart.
Because, if I can't have you, I'll die.
This was a soft, sweet suicide.


Confessions

It's confession time,
Can I tell you how much
That I wish you were mine?
There was this weight, and
I felt it was crushing me.
Pulling down, pulling me
closer toward you. You had
This essence, that would make
Me want to always be with and around you.
When you left, a part of me died,
Without your beautiful ora.
I feel this aching, deep
Into my core. I cannot
Help but hurt so much as you are gone.
But I have one and only one wish.
And that wish would be to tell you that
I love you.


Pain

Sometimes it hurts,
To reminise the memories.
It pains me even more to think
About my unshared and uncared feelings for you.
But then I slip and start to wonder,
If you ever felt the same.
I know in my heart, that wouldn't be possible.
Which hurts me more than ever.
Is it really better to 'love but never
Be loved'? I feel this doubt.
I promised myself that I would never
Cry again for you.
I promised I would not think of you.
That smile. That laugh. And those eyes.
Those deep, green livefilled eyes.
I promised I would never love again,
It hurts too much.
The pain is entrusive, but enriching.
Masochistic for love, that will never be
Achieved from you.
The pain will always remain and continue,
But never be healed.


A Year Ago

A year ago, I met you.
A year ago, I liked you.
A year ago today, I fell in love with you.
We became best friends but then you left.
When you were gone I was devestated, I
Didnt sleep nor did I dream.
You were gone for 2 weeks and not a word.
Although one day, I heard your voice, but
On the phone for only a few seconds.
I saw you awaiting me at my locker, only
It wasn't you, just my imagination.
When I finally realized you would never
Coming back, I woke up and forgot you.
But little did I realize you were coming back
And I was estatic. I screamed and yelled
'Yippee!' when I knew. That day I saw you,
I wanted to tackle you. The day went on as
Normal then I got my hug. For the next few
Weeks we were closer than ever. But we
Didn't have much time. Before we knew it,
The school year was over and you were
Going back to Middlebury.
And that was that.
Not a single word said since then, and I still
Miss your incredible eyes, sensitive smile
And your laugh. Oh, your laugh always
Filled my days with joy.
But that was a year ago and I will never
Hear your voice, gaze in your eyes or enjoy
The sweet sound of your laughter.
A year ago I loved you.
A year ago I lost you.
I cannot and did not tell you my feelings
Only because of my lack of courage.
Even now I doubt my courage but I wish
That I had told you about my feelings.
I miss you, I miss you.
I'll celebrate this day of my feelings for you.
Because it was the day that I fell for you.


Twenty-Seven[27]

As the rain pours she is drowing.
Drowing in her own lies.
She sits there, waiting for the storm.
Covered in black, and dripping wet.
As she squints through the rain,
She spots him across the road.
Her heart pounds thud, thud against
Her broken chest.
He looks at her and asks "Why?"
She shouts incoherently, but mumbles
"Because I love you."
He shakes his head and turns around.
She stands and screams, "I'm sorry!"
His head falls and he turns.
As he starts to cross, she screams.
She stares at his lifeless body.
Dead in the street, she drops to her knees
And covers her face with her cold, wet hands.
The tears flow, but are unseen.
The rain pours on, as does his blood.
She is crippled on the pavement.
It flows toward her and she is confused,
Crawling to him she spots a knife, held
In his left hand.
Hands are shaking, she takes the knife.
Under his clothes were blood spots,
Unseen before.
27 stab wounds to his body.
27 stab wounds her her heart.


Torture

Gasping for air, she cannot breathe.
Striking the sky, crippled hands.
She finds no one.
Emptiness fills her.
Nothingness holds her.
Foot steps approaching, gasping still.
Dark chuckles fill the silence.
Her heart is pounding, fast with scarce.
Shadows cover her face.
He kicks her, breaking ribs.
Laughing ominously, he grabs a saw.
Gasping louder with pain and terrified.
The chains hold her down: neck, ankles, wrists.
One by one, the limbs go.
Laughing, screaming, gasping, chokings.
Silence.


Tracy

She hides her beauty.
She hides her pain.
For all we know, she could be insane.
We'll all call her a 'cutie'
But that is not true, no.
For she is absolutely pure beauty.
Small and mighty she may be,
For we only cannot see
Deep inside her, lies a tiger.
As fierce as she is,
She beats kids.
Pain is all she knows and feels,
Because she fears all else, to her heels.
Her hidden dark eyes hold the truth.
Her lips, full of lust and love
She cannot find, no.
She does not believe in herself, for I do.
I see the pain, I see the hurt.
Behind to those eyes is something more, I know.
Because of the pain,
She cannot be tamed.
For she is wild and unkempt,
I beg you not to touch
For she will only tempt.
A temptress she is not, but could be.
But never in her life shall she see.
Frozen in her capsule,
Never to be free.
Too many tears have fallen
From this young girls face.
This is not a sad story case
For she is my friend.
My best friend.
Secret jokes and inside sayings we ponder,
And when she laughs, we wonder.
Her laugh has joy,
But her smile hides pain.
"Do not play with me boy,
For I am Tracy, the great dame."
She can hold your hand,
But break your heart.
Most days she is fine,
But I dare you not to call her "Mine."
She may be small
For she is deadly.
Broken by love,
Broken by death.
For she has seen both and does not regret.
Tracy is stronger than all.
Tracy is fiercer than the small.
She does not know it,
Because we do not show it.
For we envy you, Tracy.
Not just your beauty, but you.
Infectious laugh,
Infectious smile.
She can take your heart and run a mile.
As I speak of her power,
She may seem monstrous, that she is not.
For she is a beautiful ungrown flower,
Still sitting deep in the soil of a pot.
For I can only speak of what I know,
Because she does not show all.
Tracy is brave,
For she does not live her life in a cave.
Unaware of the effect of her beauty,
She wonders around, lost.
Brash and hopeful to find happiness,
She only finds tears.
But what she does not realize,
She has happiness, but won't open her eyes.
Tracy, listen to me when I say this,
You are no one's prize, but only in your eyes.
For those eyes hold one's heart and only one.
To those who search Tracy's love,
She won't wear it on her glove.
Tracy is beautiful.
Tracy is fierce.
Tracy is...life.
For she is uncertain of all,
She will not fall.
Tracy is loved, but unhappy.
Pain will not be the only thing this girl will feel,
For we all will make her happiness real.


Jackiie

Calm, cool and collected, she is not.
She is short and pretty, yes.
Red fire hair, blue eyes that will engulf you.
You will fall under her spell and be hers forever.
She can make you smile.
She can make you cry.
If you look into her eyes, for you will surely die.
I do not say mean things, Jackiie is not a monster.
For she is beautiful with everything about her.
She looks small and cute, but not fluffy.
Try to cuddle and she will end you're life.
She is no monster, I swear my soul.
The rings she wears, the clothes she tears
Represent her selfcontrol.
Though she does not show it, pain is there.
She is in this world, without one care.
Pain, love and hurt with surround her.
Nothing can bring her down, for she is Queen.
DO NOT tell her otherwise, look in her eyes and die.
Jackiie is amazing.
Jackiie is brave.
Jackiie is...Jackiie.
For she is not simple, but she is beauty.
She can hurt you like no other.
No matter which way, she will hover
And your life will be feeble in her hands.
Colors do not matter to her.
Genders do not matter to her.
Clothes do not matter to her.
She is neutral and you cannot own her.
Make-up and hairspray only shine her beauty.
Behind those blue eyes, is pain.
No one knows, because she does not speak.
For she is brave and she embraces all.
Lost a father, gained a nephew.
As soft as she may seem, she is only hiding.
I promise you, no monster...on the outside.
But I do not swear for the inconvience she will leave.
Jackiie may be small.
But she is surely deadly.
When I say deadly, I am not cruel.
Natural beauty she holds in her hands, her face.
She does not need to cover it.
I speak much of her beauty because this is true.
When she smiles, the sun comes out.
When she is sad and tears stream down her cheeks,
We all devour ourselves to make her smile once more.
She deserves happiness and all that is carries.
I will say it once more;
Jackiie is beautiful.


Mary

She is certain, but uncertain as well.
She can be a monster, but sweet.
Though she is no true monster,
She carries them on her shoulders.
Pain lies within this girls heart.
Broken by boys, broken by death.
I do not know how she has survive,
Though she has, I am surprised.
I envy her, for she does not know it.
For I do not show it.
But this is not about me, for is it Mary.
The name carries wonder.
For she is no American, she is Mexican.
Her true name is America.
And she doesn't not speak Spanish.
Brown eyed girl with a deep soul.
She can control all.
Envy her as you soon will.
Jealousy surrounds her air she breathes.
Heartbroken, but loved by many.
She has been broken beyond repair.
Supported by friends, she still cries.
And we wonder why?
As if anyone would let anything happen to her,
She cries herself to sleep.
She only sees him, though in her dreams.
Torn open, the tears fall.
Soon she will be fine.
Until the date comes and she remembers him.
Terrified of love, but envy it so.
She searches and searches.
But comes up lost.
Lost in loneliness, but people surround her.
She has cried her last cry and is dry.
For she will not break no more.
Mary is strong.
Mary is weak and feeble, no.
Mary will survive anything.
She cannot be fooled by anyone.
So do not try, for she will make you cry.
Too much pain has been inflicted upon her.
But she hides it well.
I tell you all I can tell.
She is beautiful, too.
Oh, how beautiful she is
and she does not know it.
Her spirit is very infectious,
You cannot stay away from her.
She hides her deepest and darkest
Secrets behind her beautiful chocolate eyes.
She hides her pain and the lies.
She will sit up at night for the cries.
I promise you this, she is no Bambi;
Although her eyes show that.
If she were anything, she would be Hercules.
Though she doesn't not have muscle as he does,
She shows compassion to her friends who need it,
Even though she feels pains inside.
I do not know how she has survived all this while.
But, I can honestly say, she is beautiful.
She does not hear it enough, so she does not believe.
But I believe in America.
She had lost many in her short time,
But she has gained more, most are kind.
I cannot say this enough, because she needs to know.
Mary, you are beautiful just the way you are.
Mary will always be in my heart,
Nothing can tear her apart.
She is strong.
She is beautiful.
Full of life, and full of pain.
But also full of love.
For she is beautiful and does not see it.
I say this Mary, and believe me too.
You are beautiful, I promise you.


Essie

Her laugh makes you laugh.
Her smile makes you smile.
Her beauty does not shine through,
For she does not know how to.
She's my bestie, Essie.
And you cannot have her.
Although, she'll pet you
As if you were fur.
For I have much of her to learn
She has a story, scary and unheard.
If you will listen, I will tell.
A small story of what I know.
But it may include hell.
It's important that you know
For what only she can show.
Essie is brave.
Essie is strong.
No matter how long she waits
Or how long it takes
To realize, not only in her eyes
Essie is beautiful.
For she does not care
About what she wears.
She is my twin,
In life and in theory.
Of course she is tough,
But do not think of her as rough.
I can tell when she is sad,
And that surely makes me mad.
Loud she is,
Obnoxious, that's negative.
Essie is not scared.
Essie is beautiful.
Gifted and talented.
Blunt and unbreakable.
Essie can do all,
But she is not mighty tall.
She can cut your throat
Just like a castrated goat.
She can take you to the stars,
But she hates mars.
I know it in my heart,
That she can tear you apart.
But she is not a monster,
Althought she loves the drink.
She's not as dumb as you may think,
For Essie is smart and grateful.
I knew it when I saw it.
Essie had found love and was drowned.
A smile was shown everyday,
Because of this mystery boy.
I figured she was crazy,
But she wasn't lazy.
"His name is Alan,
and I think I love him."
Behind her sad dark eyes,
There was surprise.
She stepped into love,
But fell head over heels.
We never blamed anyone,
Because she has found THE one.
Do not play with her heart,
For it is very delicate.
I'll say this to Alan once,
Hurt her, I hurt you.
Essie is brave and embaces all,
But she has already did the fall.
We love and care for Essie,
Because she is our bestie.


Time Wasted

I'll keep tryin',
To get your attention.
But I am always cryin',
From this deep depression.
You left without a care.
You didn't even say 'bye'.
Now I realize that I dare
Myself to remember your High.
I am nothing without you.
Your eyes kept me searching.
Your smile had me perching.
And your laugh, had me lurching.
Since my time is precious,
I was completely restless,
In you absence but now,
I realize you were Time Wasted.
On love.
On hurt.
On lust.
On desire.
I've never felt this empty,
This incomplete.
But not I am able to say,
You won.
And I am in defeat.


Breathe

Broken and unhealed,
Sorrow and killed.
Deeply punctured, she feels.
Her breath is raspy
As she tries grasping
For something to bring her
Comfort. Something to cure
Another broken heart
That lay in her chest torn apart.
She panics and thrashes
At the sky. Next, flashes
of their time is like a movie playing
Behind those blue eyes-straining
Her life even more.
She is torn apart,
Fixated on her broken heart.
Believing to have never been loved,
A small, single white dove
Appears beside her.
Her breathing is better,
No longer gasping for air.
She can breathe.

Impressum

Tag der Veröffentlichung: 01.04.2010

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