I scream into my fluffy red pillow on my futon. As I scream, loud but muffled, tears stream down my face. I already know that my mascara is smeared. Crying and running-more like sprinting uber fast-doesn’t help the makeup situation. Sometimes in life, we stumble upon a crisis. But apparently, life doesn’t have time to help me solve mine this time.
There is nothing. I am nothing. Nothing, but invisible. Sometimes, I enjoy being invisible, to them. People say to embrace your problems head on. I say fuck them and run. Some say you learn from your mistakes, this was no mistake. I did nothing. Exactly, I think to myself. I did do nothing.
I can’t believe that summer is already gone. Has it only been a month? Did I really lose all of my friends in a month? But were they really my friends? Obviously not if they never came looking for me. This is wrong, so wrong. Why do my parents hate me so much? Why can’t I transfer to another school? Oh, that’s right. I didn’t tell them about the party, the drinking and…
I am 13 years old and I was raped.
Life comes unexpected. Everything is unexpected. I hate what I’m wearing; once again my parents hate me. My mother made me wear an ugly skirt for the first day of school. I snuck a pair of my favorite jeans into my pack for when I enter the school.
I rush outside to not miss the bus. I am the first stop. The bus seats are empty. I decide to sit in the middle. Gradually, time passes and all of the kids are on the bus and we arrive at the school.
My brow furrows, I sigh and stand up. My stomach is heaving its way up my throat. It’s flipping and flopping as I step from the bus to the sidewalk.
There’s no avoiding it, yet.
I walk into the school filled with teenagers. I feel completely small. Why did my father have to give me his short genes? But it’s not like I want to be giant. Just tall enough that I don’t need my mother to reach stuff on my shelves.
I find my locker and as I’m turning my combination I’m glancing around looking for my friends. Oops, I’m mean ex-friends. I don’t see any of them but I see IT. I gulp so hard that it feels like I have my own Adams-apple. My eyes almost bulge from my sockets. I get shivers all up and down my body. We almost locked eyes for a split second and then I was running.
I darted down the hall and to the right, then to the left. I ran straight into the girl’s bathroom and hid in a stall. It was kind of stupid, I mean boys weren’t allowed in the girl’s bathroom anyways, but I felt sort of safe here. I started to breathe normally soon.
After about ten minutes of deep breathing I decided I’d better go straight to my first period. Before I exit the bathroom, I look both ways, just like when I was a kid crossing the street.
I run for my first class when I hit something. Something very hard and solid. I am on the floor now. Confused. I look up and see IT.
IT smiles at me widely. I can’t breathe. I try to scurry away, crawl if I have to but he squats and dips his head. ‘Whatcha doin?’ He smiles again. My jaw locks.
I slide back a few steps from him and stand by myself. My teeth grind together as he steps forward with his hand reaching. ‘What’s wrong? Why were you running?’ I don’t say a word. I won’t even part my lips to breathe. Although it is rather difficult to breathe with a stuffy nose from a summer cold.
It’s weird to get sick during the summer but rarely in the winter. IT is still standing across from me. I bolt. I am, once again, running for my life.
I didn’t think I could run as fast as I was. And I didn’t think I’d end up on the track team either. As I was running, I bumped into the track coach. Crap. ‘Wow’ she said. ‘I don’t know why you’re running, and it’s no good in the halls but, I think you should be on the team!’ she was too overwhelmed. And I was stuck. My mouth didn’t even open. Still clamped shut from IT.
Coach gave me a get-away pass from trouble and detention and an info paper for track. As soon as she was out of sight, I ditched the paper and ran more.
I figured I might as well just leave school before IT shows up again.
As I ditched school, I started to wander down town. Not knowing where I was going was a good feeling. I couldn’t go home, and school was not an option; as of right now. I would have to find something else to do while my parents are at work.
I felt as though, I could not get away any faster. I felt as if IT were right behind me. I decided to check. Eeep! He was. Oh, crap.
My heart started race even harder. My breath was raspy and loud. I was already sprinting; I ducked behind a corner and sat down behind a trash bin.
"Phew. I think I lost him," I thought aloud.
I heard footsteps and covered my mouth with both hands. My eyes felt as though they could pop out of my head at any minute.
The footsteps halted. I dared not to breathe. Then the feet began to move again, in my direction. Eric Tomlinson stopped right in front of the alley I was in. Good thing I was behind this big, old, dirty, not to mention extremely smelly trash bin.
A tear ran down my face and I thought, not again. Oh, please, god. Not AGAIN! I gulped as Eric moved quieter toward my direction.
Eric was almost standing completely in front of me, but then he kicked the trash bin and I accidently let loose of my mouth and let out a blood curdling scream.
Eric grabbed the trash bin and whipped it out from in front of me.
I had covered my head after I screamed, and Eric said “Hey you.” Just the way he said it made me want to scream again.
Suddenly someone ran around the corner. “What do you think you’re doing? Get the hell away from her! NOW!” I don’t know who this lady was but I was grateful.
“Hey, hey. I was just helping her back to school.”
The lady scoffed, “Yeah, right. Now, beat it kid.” All I heard was Eric’s feet walk swiftly away and then another pair closer to me.
I curled deeper into a ball, hoping to not be noticed. I tightened my grip around my legs when the feet got closer.
“Hello? It’s alright now, I promise, I won’t hurt you.” She sighed. “My name is Kelly Albright. I work just around the corner. I saw you running and heard you scream.”
I finally decided to look up, but stay in my ball of confinement. I slowly raised my eyes from beneath my long, blonde hair; which was blocking my vision.
Kelly wasn’t that tall or short. She was very lean but looked like she could hold her own. She had short cropped, black hair that curled under her ears. She was also very pretty, which I hadn’t expected, especially not the way she was yelling at Eric.
I raised my head more this time. “That’s better, now isn’t it?”
I could finally see Kelly’s full face by the time my head was completely parallel to the ground. She had big, doe brown eyes and skinny eyebrows. I noticed her outfit too. She was wearing a tan skirt, and a pink blouse.
“Will you tell me your name, please?” Kelly’s voice was so polite that it worried me a bit. She sounded like one of those villains in a comic book, who pretended to be nice to the babies, and then stole their candy.
My jaw locked shut.
She saw my jaw flex, “Well, then, can I help you up? You’re going to get awfully dirty down there.” She seemed irritated by the fact of me not wanting to speak, at all.
She reached out her short arm toward me. I surveyed her hand. It was small, pale and her nails were a pinkish blue.
I ignored her hand and let go of my legs. I placed my hands on the nasty ground and stood up. I wiped my hands on my jeans quickly.
Kelly looked even more irritated that I ignored her completely. She shrugged a tad.
I didn’t move from the wall as Kelly started walking toward the sidewalk. I almost felt like curling back into my ball and just laying there forever.
Kelly noticed it was only her feet she heard and she glanced back over her shoulder. “Well, aren’t you coming? You’ve got to be freezing and hungry.”
I decided it was okay to peel myself from the hard, cold stone wall. I slowly walked to Kelly. She was appeased. But I was NOT talking, period, and I think she realized that.
“Okay, well since you won’t talk to me, how about I’ll only ask yes or no questions. Fair?”
I contemplated that for a minute. Then nodded.
Kelly grinned wide. Why is she so happy, it’s disgusting. I thought.
“Good,” she beamed.
We walked around the corner into a small office.
When we walked in, it was small, but very cozy. The sign on the door read “Tom’s Laws”, I assumed that meant a lawyer’s office.
Kelly directed me to the back room. “Here, have a seat and I’ll get you something to eat and drink.” She pulled out a big chair and I sat down.
The backroom was bigger than the main room. There was a huge table smack dab in the middle. This seemed like a conference room to me. Only, there were microwaves, coffee machines and a refrigerator.
Kelly was standing at the fridge, and then walked to the microwave. It beeped three times, and then she opened the door.
She walked back over to with a plate of macaroni and cheese and a cup of milk. “Here you go.” I nodded for ‘thank you’.
After I was done eating and drank all of the milk, Kelly threw out the paper cup and plate. “Won’t you please tell me your name? Or something?” I shook my head.
I happened to glance at the clock on the other side of the room. I gasped aloud. It was almost five o’clock. I stood up and started out of the room. Kelly called after me. “Wait, wait! Where are going?”
I ignored her and dashed out of the office.
Go straight home, at least that’s what I hoped for.
I was 4 blocks away from home, but I was exhausted so I slowed down to a walk. It was twilight now, and I was kind of scared.
Every minute or so, I’d glance behind me to make sure nothing was there.
Twenty minutes passed and so did a block. I was thinking about jogging again, but my legs throbbed in pain, I could barely walk anyways.
I thought I saw a dark figure standing in front of me, ten feet away, but I wasn’t sure until IT grabbed me and covered my mouth with his huge monkey hands.
My screams were muffled. I twisted and turned as he knocked me to the ground. We landed on the grass lawn of someone’s.
I tried to kick, but that was useless. I tried to smack, but his other monkey hand grabbed my wrist and held it to the ground.
His dark, velvet voice spoke. “Quit running.”
I squealed. “No, no you don’t,” he laughed darkly and tightened his grip.
I started crying again. The tears streamed down my face and ran over his hand. A tear slipped through his fingers and touched my lips.
I nonchalantly reached into the back pocket of my shorts and found a pocket knife. As I realized what it was, I tried to open it.
Successfully, twisting and turning the knife and my body from Eric, I opened the small, but useful pocket knife and placed it under Eric’s jaw.
He soon realized what it was and stared into my eyes. He slowly let go of my wrist and then my mouth.
I didn’t once let go of the knife to his throat. I could puncture it at any moment.
The tears were still streaming their way down my face. Eric started to back away.
“No.” was all I said.
He looked at me, “What? You’re going to kill me now? You know you had fun that night. You wanted it.”
And that’s when I lost it.
I let out another cold, blood curdling, and hair-raising scream.
I was gripping the knife so much that my knuckles throbbed. But I was not concerned about my hand at all.
All of the sudden, Eric tackled me and grabbed my hand. We wrestled and wrestled. I was NOT giving up this time.
“No. No. NO!!!! GET OFF OF ME!!” The tears were unstoppable at this point.
I finally got to the point of anger and I pushed all of my weight and rolled Eric over, and then had the knife at his throat. I was pushing it to his skin.
My breath was loud and fast.
I raised the knife, and brought it down to this chest just once. And that was the end of it.

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Tag der Veröffentlichung: 21.03.2010

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