It won't be bad

Staying home for 21 days
Won't be that bad
Because I have my phone
And data
Adding to that I have a lot of content
On my side.

 

It won't be bad
To spend my days by myself
Not interacting with no one
Because I usually talk too much.

 

It won't be bad
I'll be facing with my family 24/7
Really, it won't be bad
Let's wait
And see
What this 21 days of solitude has in store for me.

9 am I'm still in bed

 

Maybe if I could wake up
It could help
But it is not guaranteed
Because these warm blankets
Are the ones which absorb my soul
They make it
Feel safe again
As Juliet feels safe
When he is with Romeo
Forgetting the family Feud.

 

If I was in the Eastern Cape
My Aunt would have already waken me up
And told me
To go and take a bath
In her my cousin's warm shower
But I'm not there.

Listening to Clayton Jennings

 

Yesterday I slept listening to gospel
But today I had other plans
Maybe I needed a little motivation
From other poets
So , I decided to choose Clayton.

 

All he did
He told me about God
Some of you would like that
Since it is Covid-19 season
Because you want to be saved
And know God for a little while
But that's not me
I'm already saved.

 

All I need is the strength
To write powerful poems
And able to tell you all
Everything will be alright
And this will pass.

I miss you

 I miss touching you
I miss kissing you
I regret the day
I allowed you to leave
After these 21 days
There'll be hell to pay
Because I truly miss you. 

I'm bored

 

I miss my friends
I miss all alcohol
And other things
But are they worth it?

 

During this time last year
I was at varsity studying
All things were good
And planned
Covid-19 arrived
And interfered my plans.

Woke up

 

In my area
We don't follow the law
We were told to be inside
But we explore the realms
We already know
Because we don't want to be told
What should we do,
If you ask me
That is totally ignorance
Because you pleaded for your life.

 

I woke up
And decided to stay inside
Because if I don't do
Covid-19 will test me
That is not I want.

God, I write to you

 

I miss you
I don't find the worship songs
Satisfy my love for you.

 

Every person I use to talk to
He/she is quiet
Maybe they are annoyed by me
Why wouldn't be?
I'm also annoyed by myself.

 

I'm not worth it
Even on my love life
She has given up on me
Because she ignores my messages
Yeah God I need you.

 

I think God
You want me to spend time with you
And I'll do that
Because I have leant that not to trust
The people of this world
But only to trust you
And you never disappointed me.

God is here

 

We have cursed you
Called you by names
But still you remained by us
God, we don't deserve your grace.

 

Worshipping you
Is the best thing that
A person can ever do
Because you are filled with love
And you never back down from your promises.

 

Today, you need to be praised
But only today but forever
Because you have blessed each of us
Even those who don't believe in you.

 

God, you are here
And you never Left
You are my Faith
You are my Hope
And you are Grace.

Depression is near

 I wouldn't lie

Depression is coming as an air strike

During this lockdown

And it is prepared

To ashame me in front of my family

Maybe being close to God

It won't dare to take another step

But no one knows.

 

I haven't thought of myself lately

My care is for those 

Who are dying from mental health

Because depression is near.

Are you?

 Yes I love you

But I won't be able to spend time with you

It is God's turn now.

 

Yes I miss the kisses and hugs

But God is more important than those things

He is my everything.

 

What am I feeling now?

Is it jealousy?

Are you literally jealous?

If that is so

I won't choose you

But I'll choose God.

 

I'm the only one

 

Waters are fast

But there is a place

Where they stop

They are calm

They ain't raged with anger anymore.

 

Our relationship is at a point

Which love itself is angry

The happy moments are over

The laughs are over

And the dates too.

 

I don't want to lie

I love and need you

Even though

You keep pushing me away

From what is mine.

 

You could try accuse me

Of having numerous women

But you don't

Because you trust me.

 

You could sing the song

I'm not the only one by Sam Smith

But you won't

When you are the only one in my life.

Maybe if you want to

 

What broke us?
Is it the lockdown?
Is it me?
Yes I'm admitting all my feelings for you
I even trust you with the secrets
I never told anyone
But I think you doubting me.

 

Maybe if you want to leave
You can leave me
But all I know is that you are the one for me
And if you leave me now
It'll be hard for me to accept it
Because I didn't come to you
With dirty intentions like most of guys
I came with good ones.

 

You are the one in my heart
I know that is hard to believe
What can I do to convince you?

 

Just take a chance on me
And you won't regret it babe
Please don't give up on us
Because of the miscommunication.

The truth is

 

The truth is I love you
And I don't want to lose you
But I'll lose you If you don't trust me

 

The truth is you always on my mind
Every day and there is no day that passes by of not thinking about you
I miss you.

 

The truth is I keep you in my prayers
Even when you call me selfish
When I'm clearly the good guy in the story
Now I truly know you are the only one for me.

The truth is I can't let of you
As I vowed to be right by your side.

Sorry for this

Remember that time I asked you
"How much does my career mean to you?"
You gave me an undesirable answer
It wasn't satisfying answer
I thought you would say
It means over my love
It means over the dreams you have about me
Maybe you loved me too much
And you didn't see what matters to me.

 

Sorry for being that guy
Who only chases that pussy
Not what you truly have
Which is a good heart.

 

Sorry for being that guy
Who cares too much about you
More than himself.

I'm sorry for loving you too much
And being afraid of letting you go
Sorry for this.

 

I'm having an affair with two of them

 

They don't satisfy me anymore
Even though they are not control freaks
I thought they would attack me
Since I turned them into my lovers
I had a great time in the beginning.

 

My girlfriend would kill me after reading this poem
This affair has been going on for so long
And I even decided to end it
It won't be easy to get out
But it is the sake of my relationship.

 

Depression and anxiety it's over
I'm sorry to tell you this
I know I'm the one who invited you
To my life this time around
I thought you'd bring more pain than before
Because love is something I don't
Maybe it's because I fetched you from your place
But it's over now.

Thank you

 

This may be a little religious
It's not
And some of you may not like this poem
But I don't need your validation.

 

God gave up his only son for me
Just to be forgiven
No matter how many times you discourage me
I'll always remember, I'm a child of God
He has plans for me
He has protected me from all these years
I have through ups and downs in life
But God keeps on telling me
The best is yet to come and never allow the devil to win.

 

Because of Jesus I'm able to be forgiven
Jesus is the perfect of God-
He is kind
He is forgiving
He is perfect
And never sinned.

God, thank you for being here
God, thank you for protecting my family and friends
God, thank you for allowing me to learn about your word.

Redemption

 

On this day God woke up
To meet his Father
He was the one who gave me grace
I keep saying I don't deserve it
But he keep saying I clearly do
Today, I'm redeemed because of Jesus.

 

His love
His grace
And kindness
Made me feel special.

 

There is redemption for you too
He doesn't care about your past
If you killed
If you stole
To me it might not be fair
But Him it's fair because he loves you
And you deserve redemption.

Your smile

 

All the fights
All the drama
And all the disappointments
But whenever I try to convince you to smile
My mind relinquishes the things you said
And focuses on your smile
Because it keeps reminding me
I'll always love you
Whenever you do to me
This is the way I show the affection of my love.

Letter to you

 

Dear my love

 

This lockdown has taught me a lot. Yes, I love you but recently I had doubts about you. I was afraid you would love me the way I love you. My insecurities are bigger than I thought and I know you keep saying you love me . But I don't see the proof if you could be kind and show me where do you love me. If you ask me for the proof of my love, I would say I have compromised for you a lot and dedicated poems for you even though you would say you don't deserve them.

 

I have never been in love this way because my last lover or more like a fling loved me but I think she was afraid to commit to the love I had to offer. Are you prepared to love me and commit to our love like never before. This lockdown has messed me up and it's not like me to confess my feelings this way but it is already done.

 

Yours sincerely
Poetry.

Remember

 

Remember that day
I invited you to come and we had all the laughs
And started to making promises
We both knew we won't able to fulfill
Because it seemed good to be true.

 

Remember that day
We set the dates of our dates
And you could tell I loved you
And you liked me.

 

This lockdown just triggered old memories
The happy days
I thought you were the one
But you were too toxic to be the one.

The truth is you never loved me
I'm the one who loved you.

Extension

 

This is the end of the road
For 21 days of Solitude
Maybe I ask her to come back soon
But there are no promises
So, Goodbye.

Thank you message

 

Thank you for those who have reed the book. I really appreciate it and the next one is coming soon. This is poetry the thing you truly love.

Impressum

Texte: Asekho Toto
Cover: Asekho Toto
Lektorat: Asekho Toto
Tag der Veröffentlichung: 12.04.2020

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Widmung:
To those who are staying at home during this lockdown. Instead of going out , just seat down and enjoy the book.