Nobody 2/5/14
Nobody is my name.
Nobody is my game.
Nobody has my reason.
Nobody has my claim.
Rebels 2/6/14
We used to drag our feet.
We used to shake our shackles.
We used to hang our heads in shame.
But what were we to do with no right to our name?
We were not the ones to be blamed.
Why were we the ones you tamed?
We were not cows nor pigs nor sheep.
Nor did we deserve a floor upon which to sleep.
Now, we are not your equipment,
And you are no longer our boss.
So, sit out for a count,
And take a loss.
We are all free people, by God.
And by God, We are one of Us.
No longer shall we hang our heads in shame.
No longer are we the ones you tame.
And now that we can speak for ourselves,
We have a right to our name.
We may not have come over on the Mayflower,
But that does not mean that we must follow your order.
We came over by your choice.
You wanted us here.
So, here we are America.
Give us the same rights that you fought so fearfully for.
We’ve earned our keep.
We’ve done our part.
Now it’s time to do yours.
Pain 2/6/14
They whip the lashes
Up, down, up down.
They dig deeper and deeper and deeper.
Slowly my skin turns to pink.
Thirty is how many I'm to receive.
For feeding my children,
I'm punished as if it were a crime.
I was only trying to save my babies.
For they are starved to skeletons
And worked like mules.
I dare not cry out,
For my children need to know
That there is no shame I need to show.
I took the path I wanted to go.
If white man were in my place,
I'm sure he'd show no haste.
He'd protect His savages,
Those evil satans.
One day, they will regret this.
Every lash they give
Will be bestowed upon them, too.
And they, too, will see
That nothing is ever free.
Freedom 2/6/14
My brethren ran to the North for it.
The 54th fought for it.
Maya Angelou wrote about it.
Martin Luther King, Jr. preached it.
And now, we live with it.
Free,
Free,
Finally Free.
We are now equals to our white neighbors.
Never will they whip us.
Never will they own us.
Never again with they rule us.
We can stand in multiple spectrums.
And instead of individual shades,
We now mix the colors and create love.
Because only love can drive out hate.
Whispers 2/18/14
I listen to the whispers-
The whispers in my head.
Sometimes I think they're real,
But I know they're really dead.
No one else can hear them.
It doesn't matter how loud they scream.
Only I can hear them
And only in my dreams.
It doesn't matter what they babble.
They don't make any sense.
It's like a game of scrabble,
But all the blocks are blank.
The Meteorologist's Orchestra 7/8/14
A conductor all dressed in black
Shows no sign of slack.
As he faces his band,
They stand at attention
Without any command.
They know what to do.
They have done this before.
It is the same tune once more-
Exactly as they have done
Since the beginning of time.
He raises his baton,
Cueing them into motion.
Then, the sky rips open,
And the storm starts to spread.
The Tempest begins.
Notes scatter far and wide
With the delicacy of piano keys.
They drench the land
In beautiful banter,
Leaving no surface uncovered.
The bass drums echo through the sky
Along with the symbols that flash in the night.
They deliver a solo
So harsh and so clean.
The audience can only stare at the beauty they have seen.
But only a second passes
Before the flutes start to wail.
They make the trees whisper
And bring all kinds of hail-
To which there is no prevail.
The audience flees, looking for protection.
For there is no prevention.
They seek their homes
To wait out this horrible tune,
All the while hoping it won’t bring a monsoon.
Then the song ends after several hours,
The members breathless and tired.
There is no recollection
Of the damage they have caused.
They just move along
As if nothing ever happened,
While the audience waits
In nervous anticipation
For the next effervescent calm.
Jam 7/10/14
Plug the headphones in.
Let the record spin.
Lean back.
Let the world dissolve.
This is my jam.
The beat floods through the wires,
Making my eardrums hum.
It’s familiar, this gentle thrum.
I crank the volume.
This is my jam.
I nod my head and sing along.
I know the words
As if it were my own.
They take root in my nerves.
This is my jam.
I get up with a sudden urge.
The words create this rhythm.
It makes me want to dance.
I feel my feet move in beat with this trance.
This is my jam.
Rhythms race through my bones.
My body jerks this way and that,
Keeping up with the different tones.
But it all feels natural, this daze I’m in.
This is my jam.
It all ends on one final note.
The movements stop, and I’m still again.
I look down, all ready to pout.
Then, I smile.
Good thing I have it on repeat.
Cheater 8/2/14
These endless secrets,
This heavy air,
It's what I see
When you're not there.
You're kissing her lips
Instead of mine.
You should be holding my hand
'Til the end of time.
The look in your eyes
Is different when you look at
Her and
Me.
I can't keep living
With this jealousy.
So be gone
With this secret love.
You no longer love me.
You no longer care.
You can't hide these secrets
Because you can't play fair.
You're a waste of my time.
I've got better things to do.
I can't stick around
To play with you.
I've got my life to live,
And so do you.
I'm done playing these games.
We're through.
Jealousy 9/2/14
I think of you all the time,
Though you may not know.
It happened the other day,
This flood of memories.
You were there in my thoughts,
Clear as day.
And it was awhile
'Til you went away.
I though of your lips,
With their passion and love.
I thought of your eyes
With their kindness and affection.
I remembered those kisses,
Stolen in dark secret.
I remembered the caresses,
Calming and gentle.
Then my reverie was shattered
In the blink of an eye
As I recalled that your heart
Is currently taken.
It is a fool, no doubt,
That holds your heart in their hands.
They do not know the power
And strength of your love.
They are merely a rookie,
Toying with emotions.
One hazardous spill
Could cause quite the commotion.
But for now I'll suffer
In hopeless agony
While you decide
What cards fate will play.
Tears 9/2/14
This churning mass,
This swirling blue,
Tipping and pouring emotions.
It floods,
Spilling down those
Blush red cheeks.
They sting,
And they tickle
As they continue to trickle.
Splashing.
Drip.
Drop.
0500 (9/4/14)
The room is full and crowded,
People rushing everywhere.
Tubes hang limply in midair.
Epinephrine,
Liquid adrenaline.
The heart has stopped.
Injecting into veins.
Nothing happens.
CPR.
They pump the chest.
Thirteen pumps, two breaths.
A couple broken ribs.
The process is on repeat.
Still nothing happens.
Ten minutes pass.
Then they stop,
No more compressions.
No more drugs.
The heart has stopped.
It is lifeless.
Time of death: 0500
Home 10/16/14
Home is where
The green grass grows.
Home is the feeling
Of red dirt between your toes.
It's running through
The pouring rain
And standing beneath
The dark night's stain.
Home is you
Holding me tight
While we sit
Beneath the bright moonlight.
Home is where
The heart is.
It's the place you grew up,
And it'll be the place
You miss the most.
Home is that little grey house
On that big, green hill.
Home is racing through the pines
In search of the cool, crisp creek.
Home is hot summers and
smelling honeysuckle on the breeze.
Home is simple
And a life of ease.
Home is where
The green grass grows.
It's running through
The pouring rain.
Home is you
Holding me tight.
Home is where
The heart is.
Home is that little, grey house
On that big, green hill.
Home is hot summers and
Smelling honeysuckle on the breeze.
This is my home,
And it belongs to me.
Inside 11/9/14
It hurts to laugh.
It hurts to smile.
It hurts to hide the pain
That's burning me up inside.
All I want to do is cry.
I want to scream.
I want to emphasize this pain.
I want them to know how much it hurts.
But I'll fake that smile once more.
I'll put my emotions aside.
I'll hide the real side of this facade.
I'll make sure they won't see the real me.
Broken
A broken ring,
A broken promise,
A broken time, long forgotten.
An old box,
An old picture,
An old face from the past.
A moment of remembrance,
A moment of love,
A moment of pain, sorrow, and sadness.
A piece of bliss,
A piece of life,
A piece of what used to be.
A face with black hair,
A face with green eyes,
A face with all the love in the world.
A painful break,
A painful scar,
A painful reminder a blissful past.
An old ring,
An old promise,
An old time, now forgotten.
A new ring,
A new promise,
A new time for those forgotten.
A new job,
A new life,
A new baby to make things right.
A new town,
A new house,
A new memory to count.
Another baby,
Another memory,
Another blessing to count.
A few years,
A few diplomas,
A few memories now forgotten.
An old man,
An old woman,
An old, empty house now old and rotten.
A weak heart,
A weak breath,
A weak tear, flowing down his cheek.
A sad day,
A sad place,
A sad memory imprinted in time.
A lonely man,
A lonely love,
A lonely heart long past broken.
Another old box,
Another old picture,
Another old memory once shared.
A moment of remembrance,
A moment of love,
A moment of pain, sorrow, and sadness.
A moment of anger,
A moment of regret,
A moment of want, quickly waning.
A broken ring,
A broken promise,
A broken time, long forgotten.
Daddy, Don't Cry
I stand on the stage
In my cap and gown.
Twelve plus years of school.
Here I am,
Finally done.
I search the crowd,
Looking for his face.
The front row is where
I see him.
Daddy, don’t cry.
His salt and pepper hair,
Reflecting with the lights.
His brown eyes filled with sorrow.
His face blotchy and red.
Tears race down his cheeks.
We stare at each other.
And in that stare,
I see so many things.
So many… memories.
Daddy, don’t cry.
I see the day that I was born.
I see him holding me in his arms.
I watch as he kisses
My jet black curls.
I hear every whisper of love again.
I see my first day of pre-school
As he let go of my hand, knowing
That I’d be great some day.
Somehow, he knew he’d see me here one day.
Daddy don’t cry.
I replay every award ceremony
He’d ever attended.
He was there, I remember,
For every trophy
And every crown.
He told me he loved me
And that I was smart.
When all along, I knew,
I was breaking is heart.
Daddy, don’t cry.
He’s watched me grow up,
And he’ll help me move away.
But he knows I’ll be back one day.
I’ll see him again.
He knows I’ll be okay.
And when it’s his time to go,
I’ll be there for him
With tears in my eyes.
I’ll hold his hand,
And I’ll whisper,
“Daddy, don’t cry.
I’ll be okay if you leave.
I’ll still remember you
And every moment we spent together.
Just you and me.
“I’ll love you forever.
Close your eyes and rest.
It’ll be okay soon.”
I’ll sit by his side as he draws a final breath.
Daddy, don’t cry.
Emotions
I've been pondering
And wondering
And debating
Where we've gone wrong.
I don't know when
Or why
Or how
Or what got us to this lonely, sad place.
I've been talking to myself.
And it mindlessly comes mumbling
And tumbling
And sputtering out.
Every emotion
That has caused this commotion
Is oozing out of unsafe proportion.
I don't know how to control it
Or even if I should.
I wonder if its for the best
That I take the test.
I think it's returning now,
This sense of normalcy.
But part of me still wonders,
Can it really be the same?
If I Were Dying
If I were dying,
I'd hold you in my arms,
Giving you a shoulder to cry on.
And while you wept,
I'd dry your tears
And tell you about these last few years.
If I were dying,
I'd tell you all my deepest secrets
And all my fears.
I might even shed my own tears.
If I were dying,
I'd write book,
Giving the world a brand new look.
I'd tie up some strings
And maybe burn a few bridges,
But I know that I'll be forgiven.
If I were dying,
I'd wake before sunrise
And admire every sunset.
I'd visit the sites and go to Paris.
Climbing to the top is where my mind is.
I'd stand on the railing
And reach my arms out.
That is all I can think about.
If I were dying...
Well, I'd want it to be quick.
Why hang around when you're old and sick?
Rip it off like a bandage.
The pain is only brief.
There's no reason to be sickened with grief.
If I were dying...
I'd die in my sleep.
No pain.
That's the way I'd go.
I would've taught you all I know.
I am dying,
And I just want you to know
That there is no shame when you're old and weak.
There is no silence when you can no longer speak.
Death is a miracle,
Though black and despicable.
I can start over.
All fresh and new.
And the best part is...
I'll be thinking about you.
The Boy I Know
Brown hair,
Brown eyes,
All skinny and tall
With pants too short
And sleeves too long.
This is the boy I know.
Sugar sweetens his soul
But corrodes his temper like a tooth.
He's sharp as a whip
But as energetic as lightning.
His attention span is meager,
But he is oh so eager
To tell you everything there is to know.
This is the boy I know.
This is the boy I know
Behind the bottle cap glasses,
Without the medicine, and
Without a single allergy.
This is the boy I know
Behind the jeers and teases and
Behind all the air that he wheezes.
This is the boy I know
With every imperfection in the books.
This is the boy I know,
The one who sleeps with the lights on and
The one who stands inches from a screen.
This is the boy I know,
The one willing to die for his country.
It is all he can think about.
He wears the colors like a badge.
The hat is there on his head everyday.
It serves as a reminder that he is strong,
That he is brave, and that he is beautiful.
This is the boy I know.
He's just a kid.
He's so ignorant to the bigger things.
Yet, when I talk to him, he understands.
He understands the bigger things.
In fact, he believes in them.
Call him crazy if you want.
However, remember that he is not you,
And you are not him.
This is the boy I know,
The boy I've grown up with.
This is the boy I love,
The one that I'd kill and die for.
This is the boy I know,
The boy I call my brother.
Impressum
Tag der Veröffentlichung: 13.03.2014
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Widmung:
I would like to dedicate this book to everyone and everything that inspired these poems.