Prologue
His wounds were deadly and I kneeled down beside him, frozen. The pain in his eyes was intense as I stared into them holding him close. My eyes started the process I knew so well but he stopped me.
“No.” His broken voice killed me inside.
I knew my choices. I knew the risk of healing him; however, it was the only choice I could choose.
I closed my eyes and held him close, fearing that if I let him go I would lose him forever.
Concentrating on healing I felt my eyes change. His wounds were in my own body now. He started to struggle knowing what I was giving up.
“Sam hold him.” I breathed and her arms held him down, tears streaming down her face. The pain was becoming severe and I could tell the process was almost done. I smiled despite the pain knowing he wouldn’t be gone.
When it was done I opened my eyes and gazed down into his, tears were streaming down my face. The last thing I saw before my world became dark were his beautiful eyes holding mine.

Ch.1: Rayna
People still say that the way my parents died was romantic. That even though there were miles of land separating them they died at the same exact time. Right down to the millisecond.
I hated the curse and everything it did to me. My mother died because of it and so did my father.
They were so in love, but no matter what they knew they wouldn’t escape him. The one who cursed us. The one responsible for so much pain in so many generations of my family.
It was so unfair. My father tried to defeat him. He desperately tried, but nothing and no one can stop him. Ever.
So far my parents were the closest to defeat him out of everyone else. They still didn’t succeed.
The reason behind the curse is this. I used to think it was just a story but I was wrong.
Terribly wrong.
My great, great, great, great grandmother was a nurse. Her name was Selene Montgomery. She healed people with her hands and with herbs. She fell in love with a man who loved her back. But there was another man who wanted her as badly as she wanted her lover. This man’s name was Nicholas Henderson. He had powers beyond belief and when my great grandmother chose the man she loved over him he cursed her and the women born from them to a life of pain. The curse makes me need to heal even if I don’t want to.
I know I will die soon just like my mother was going to if she had not died when she did. In a way she died less painfully than what would have happened. Which makes me grateful only a little bit.
“Come on sis we gotta go soon, I gotta get to work.” My brother called through the door his voice still had a hint of anger in it from last night. He doesn’t want me to heal anyone anymore, but I just can’t help it. Whenever I get near a person whose hurt I can’t help but heal them.
My brother just doesn’t understand. He never did and I felt bad for not being able to explain it very well. My father died in an accident and because my parents loved each other so much when he died my father was wounded as well. His wounds became hers through the curse and because of that she died as well.
Before she died she told me to cherish the curse otherwise it would be the death of me. I knew she was right even though I knew in my heart that even though I cherish it that it would cause me great pain.
I have always known. Always.
I got up and got ready for school not wanting to go. I ran down the stairs just as my brother was about to yell for me again.
“Go start the car Ray, you can drive today.” I knew it was his way of apologizing to me about our argument,
“Thanks.” I got in the driver’s side and he sat in the passenger’s seat, I smiled at him then pulled out of the driveway.
We rode in silence the whole way to my school. Usually we talked but I knew he was still upset about our argument. I took a moment to study him. I knew lots of girls thought he was hot, but it was just to disturbing to think about.
He has the same dark hair as I do. His eyes are the color of deep green moss whereas mine are lighter. He was very tall and not too muscular. Some people were scared of him because he was so protective. During my first year in high school every time a guy picked on me, my brother would come to the rescue.
I would always get mad at him, but secretly I loved it.
My heart swelled with the amount of love I had for him. When we got to the high school I parked and got out.
“Bye Ray I love you.” I smiled at him as he pulled away. “I love you to.”
I started to walk up the side walkway to my locker. My best friend is Sam. She’s always been amazing and supportive. The first time I ever healed someone other than my brother it was her. I can still remember the look on her face.
We had been outside in her backyard, swinging on a tire swing when she fell off. We were both eight and she had scraped her knee pretty bad. Before she ran in to tell her mom I grabbed her hand and stopped her.
It was hilarious. Right then I saw her walking towards the lockers a few feet ahead of me.
“Sam!” I waved to her when she stopped and waited for me.
“Hey Ray going to the lockers?” I nodded and we started walking again.
Sam is gorgeous, she’s tall and elegant with dark brown hair and a dancers body. I guess she can’t help having an amazing body because her mom pushed her into dance. This is a good thing because I know for a fact that she loves dance and most likely always will.
It was the first day back to school after an extremely boring break and as usual Sam was cranky. “I absolutely hate school Ray it is just a form of torture that parents send us to, to get rid of us.”
The thing about Sam is that she loves school. She really does, however, in the morning Sam’s inner beast sneaks out and there’s only one person who can tame that beast. That person is not me but her boyfriend Ben. When they’re together I always get a little queasy because love for Sam is easy, she found Ben in eighth grade and ever since then they’ve been stuck at the hip. It’s sickening.
For me I’ve been in love with the same person ever since Sam and I’s first play date where I met her family. That day in third grade I made a best friend and I met my first and only love. Ian.
“Are you listening Ray?” I looked at her blankly and she glared. Then I remembered we were discussing how our parents hate us and wish to torture us.
I smiled. “Sam, it’s going to be okay, school will be over in about seven hours and then well go to your house as usual where you can watch Ben play hoops with Ian. Just imagine his chest and it’ll get you through the ugliness of school.”
She giggled, most likely thinking of it. “You are so right Ray, thanks.” I just laughed and we got to the lockers.
“Plus I honestly don’t think my brother or your parents hate us that much.”
I did the same but my mind returned to thoughts of Ian as usual.
“Speaking of your brother, he talked to me about you guys’ argument.” Her facial expression was one of concern. I sighed and slammed my locker closed.
“I can heal if I want to and it’s not like I can help it.” She held onto my arm.
“It’s dangerous for you and we both know that Ray.” I jerked my arm out of her hand.
“It’s none of your business what I can do Sam, I can’t help it when I heal, I just can’t.” I was furious.
“I know Ray, I know, just try, please?” I looked at her for a long moment then turned and walked away. I stopped when I heard her yell. “Don’t make me send Ian after you!”
I stopped, turned, and glared at her. She ran over to me and smirked. “That is so messed up of you Sam, but I’m sorry for snapping.”
She hugged me and we walked to class together.
“It’s okay Ray, and I understand I just want you to be okay.” I nodded.
“Can we just not talk about this please?” She frowned and I could tell she wanted to continue on but we got to class.
I walked in and we sat down. Listening to our horrible teacher drone on and on about equations that I already knew.
Math was the only class we have together, we also have lunch together, but that’s it. At lunch we sit with her brother and his friends because we don’t really have any friends so we’ve adopted them.
After math I floated through all of my classes. I have all “A”s without really trying and so I don’t always try to pay attention to what’s going on in class.
Lunch came quickly for me because all I was thinking about was healing. The only thing that’s hard for me is that the more I heal I lose a portion of my eyesight. Just a tiny bit for each time, but it’s still hard.
The next time I heal I know I’m gonna need to get glasses. The part I hate most about the curse is that I can’t heal my true love once he knows he’s my true love. If I do choose to heal him I would have to give up something of my own. Something important.
Something like my life.
“Ray, are you ok? I know everything will be ok with Jack I think he’ll understand your side of the story.” I could tell Sam was worried about me so I smiled at her, dropping all of my thoughts and focusing on normal ones.
“Let’s just go get lunch and find a place to sit.” She smiled reluctantly and we walked into the cafeteria. The cafeteria is always loud and obnoxious, but i sometimes loved it. The only reason I really tolerate it is because Ian and his buddies sometimes sit in here. Plus it’s where I’m forced to get my lunch every day.
“Oh look there they are Ray, looks like were sitting in here today.” She laughed at my facial expression. I got pizza and she got a sandwich then we headed to where her brother and boyfriend were sitting.
“Hey gorgeous.” Ben greeted Sam and I gagged teasingly. Sam elbowed me and sat with him. I smiled at them and looked over at Ian. “Hey.”
He grinned and took a bite of my pizza before I could get it back. “You jerk!” I yelled at him then stole his soda and drank some of it. He just shook his head at me and I stuck my tongue out at him.
Ian was very handsome. He had black brown hair that was always messy and deep gray eyes that I got lost in way too many times to count. He was as tall as my brother and even more muscular. When I was younger he had looked like some mutant who was way too big. Now I loved his size whenever he hugged me I felt safe and warm. I loved it.
Ben was smaller than my brother and Ian but he was still pretty big. He was tall with blonde hair trimmed short. He had attractive deep blue eyes; he went great with Sam's looks. I always thought they would be perfect together.
“You know you love me.” He said and took another bite of my pizza. I laughed hiding the way my heart flipped in my chest.
“If you think I love you then you’re delusional.” He responded by taking a fifth bite and I drank the rest of his soda.
“So Ray you coming over right?” he asked me and I nodded. I thought my brother might need some space because he was still pretty irritated with me this morning.
“I’m going to go home first but then I’ll just walk over.” He nodded and bumped my knee.
“Don’t worry you won’t miss out on me being shirtless.” I laughed and bumped him back.
“The reason I’m going home first is just to miss you without a shirt. I’m sorry but you’re not as hot as you think.” I smirked at his glare and the bell rang.
I stood up and turned to walk away before turning back to Ian. “Don’t worry Ian I’ll be there to cheer you on against Ben.” Then I walked away loving the sound of his laugh.
After school I got on the bus to go home. I wanted to talk to Jack about my healing because I didn’t want to argue anymore.
At my stop I got nervous I knew he had apologized in his own way this morning but I still wanted him to hear me out. I walked in and walked into the kitchen where he was sitting at the table.
“Hey Jack, can we talk?” he nodded and watched as I sat down across from him at the table.
“Well I think we should talk about my healing.” He scowled and pushed away his plate of food.
“There’s nothing to talk about Rayna you have to stop.” He was always quick to get angry.
“That’s not true I think I should still be able to heal. It’s my body that will get affected not yours!” I had a temper as well. He stood up and put his plate in the sink.
“Ray that’s exactly why I want you to stop there are consequences to what you’re doing!” I stood up and glared at him crossing my arms.
“Jack, I would hate myself if I didn’t do what I could to help people.” He turned his back to me.
“You know I can’t lose you too Ray.” He turned again and looked at me with sad eyes. “I wouldn’t be able to handle it.”
I softened my pose and walked up to him.” You’re not going to lose me Jackie, never, I love you too much.” I told him as I wrapped my arms around his waist.
He hugged me back and we stood there for a while. “I promise I’ll be more careful Jack, okay?”
I looked up at him and he smiled reluctantly down at me. “Fine sis, it’ll be okay, just promise to call me before you heal someone or something all right?”
I nodded and pulled away. “I got to go over to Sam’s for a while, k?” he nodded and went to the refrigerator again.
I went to the door and waved to him before leaving.


Ch.2: Rayna
When I got to Sam’s the guys were already playing. I whistled at them both as I walked by. Ian turned and winked at me then turned his attention back to what he was doing and made a basket.
I shook my head and walked over to where Sam was sitting on the porch, drooling over Ben’s sweaty chest. I guess I couldn’t blame her Ben was pretty good looking, but I preferred starring at Ian.
“Shouldn’t you be working on homework?” I laughed as she blushed and looked down at her open math textbook.
“That’s what I’m doing Ray obviously you weren’t paying enough attention to me otherwise you’d know that.” I laughed and sat down next to her.
“At least I can stare at Ian because I don’t have any work to do, I finished it all in class then study hall.” She glared at me and I stuck my tongue out at her which made us both laugh.
“How can you like my brother it’s just disturbing.” She wrinkled her nose in disgust. I giggled and glanced over at Ian who was shooting another hoop.
“He’s so amazing and sweet Sammy, he just makes my stomach flip.” I sighed. “But it’s not like he likes me back so don’t worry.”
She smiled. “Ray I know he’ll realize how special you are I just know it.” I could tell she felt bad.
I grinned and looked over at the guys again. As if knowing they were being watched they both turned and waved at us before continuing. “It’s ok Sam, I can settle for friendship as long as I can be close to him.”
She sighed but nodded. “Okay Ray, whatever you say.”
I looked down at my hands and frowned. “I talked to Jack about my healing.” She looked up at me looking thoughtful. “I decided I’ll only heal when it’s necessary.”
She nodded and put her hand on my shoulder. “It’s a good idea to try Ray I don’t know all the consequences about you healing, but I know that if Jack’s this concerned its most likely bad.”
I shook my head. “It’s just so hard Sammy I can’t help it sometimes.”
“Well I’m here for you and so are your brother and Ian and ben.” She put her head on my shoulder. “We’ll help you through it don’t worry.” I nodded still worried about everything.”
I looked over at Ian again and smiled watching him play made me happy, but having people who cared for me made me even happier.
“Ian doesn’t even know about the curse Sam neither does ben so really I only have you and Jack.” I sighed and watched the guys play for a minute.
“You will just have to tell them I know they’ll be supportive I just know it.” She looked hopeful and I didn’t want to ruin it.
I got up and she followed me inside the house. “I’m going to grab something to eat k?” I didn’t wait for her to nod and went to the refrigerator.
I got out a yogurt and sat down next to her. She was finished with her math and working on English.
I helped her till she was done then we discussed how I would tell ben and Ian.
“How about the next time one of them gets hurt you tell them then show them. After that you wouldn’t have to deal with lying to them and it could be the last time you heal.” I thought about it then nodded.
“I guess that’ll have to work because that way I can prove it to them.” She smiled then reached over and hugged me.
“It’ll work and like I said they love you ray were all a part of a family therefore they’ll support you.” I felt comforted but still worried.
Ben came in with Ian during the middle of the movie we were watching, Ian was limping over to us.
“What’s wrong?” then I saw it his knee was cut and bleeding badly. He sat down next to me and I put my hand on his leg preparing. Sam nudged me trying to be supportive.
“What are you doing ray?” I looked into Ian’s eyes and swallowed.
“I can heal this cut Ian.” He laughed and ben just looked confused. Sam was glaring at Ian and I felt like I was going to be sick.
“She really can Ian just watch.” Sam was so amazing I knew I would have to treat her to ice cream after all this was done.
I closed my eyes knowing if I kept them open everybody would see them change. I focused on the cut on his leg then grimaced when it went into my body.
When it was done I stood up turning away so I could make sure my eyes were back to normal. Sam smiled at me when I finally opened them. I turned around and Ian was staring at his leg. Ben was looking at it to.
“My family is cursed-“I paused. “Well, the women in my family are at least.” Then I began the story.
They listened intently fixed on every word. Sam watched holding my hand while ben asked questions.
Ian just sat staring at his leg the whole time.
I was nervous about how they would take it. But so far only Ian looked like he was upset.
His facial expression scared me, it gave away no emotion and I hoped he would look up soon. Otherwise I’d probably get sick.
He mattered to me a lot. Every time I looked at him my heart squeezed tight in my chest and I would wonder at how much in love with him I am.
It still shocks me all the time. Sam is the only one that knows despite my brother but the only reason he knows is because he read my diary till I stopped writing in one.
When I got to the part about me dying Ian swung his head around to stare at Sam, and then he stood up and walked towards me.
“Stop healing as of this second ray you cannot die do you hear me?” he grabbed my arm I gazed up at him shocked.
I jerked my arm out of his hand and stepped back. “It’s not that easy whenever I’m around someone who needs to be healed I just need to. If I don’t it kills me inside knowing I have something inside me that can make someone better.”
“Well from now on none of us.” He waved his hand indicating himself ben and same “are going to let you heal anyone.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “Don’t you boss me around Ian, you’re not the boss of me. This is why only Sam knew and not you guys.” I was glaring at him by the time I finished.
Ian looked over at Sam glaring. “You knew about this?” Sam nodded softly. “You knew and you didn’t think to share this information with me.”
I nodded. “It’s not like you needed to know.”
“How can you say that I’ve known you since you were born and your one of my best friend’s Ray.”
I saw the hurt in his eyes and softened.
“Ian just because I didn’t tell you doesn’t mean were not friends.” I reached out to touch his arm but he jerked away.
“Maybe it does ray maybe it does.” The venom in his voice made my eyes fill with tears. “I mean you are just my little sister’s friend right?”
After a second of silence I stepped forward again. “I don’t see why you’re doing this Ian?”
Ben spoke up quietly. “Ian don’t do something you’ll regret.” I watched Sam glare at Ian.
“I’m sorry Ian I didn’t think you’d react like this.” I started crying.
“I need to go.” Ian’s soft whisper made my heart break.
“Don’t leave Ian she needs you.” But Ian just ignored Sam and ben and walked out the door.
I dropped to the floor and let my tears fall freely.


Ch.3: Ian
I continued to stare at my leg as I listened to Ray talk about her curse. I was completely shocked that she could do that.
I couldn’t seem to wrap my mind around what she had shown me or what she was explaining.
She talked about her great grandmother and the man who cursed her family. She told us about how her mother really died.
I couldn’t talk as she continued telling us all about what happens when she heals. How her eyes turn black and she takes in the pain.
She talked about how Jack hated the curse and how he wants her to stop. I listened as ben asked questions.
I wanted to know why she had waited this long to tell us about this. I wondered why she hadn’t told Sam.
Finally I looked up and studied Ray. She was focused on the floor as she talked. Sam was standing next to Ben but she was smiling supportively at Ray and holding her hand.
I looked back at Ray and continued to listen. “Healing for me is a curse because of the consequences.” I instantly stiffened. What consequences?
“I’m losing my eyesight and soon I will start getting sick after that I will die.” This was said hesitantly and I jerked my head around to look at Sam who had tears in her eyes.
She couldn’t do this to us. She couldn’t just tell us this out of the blue. But she did and I needed to know why.
I started to feel myself losing it. Ray couldn’t die she just couldn’t.
“Stop healing as of this second Ray you cannot die do you hear me?” I stood up and grabbed her arm. She looked up at me, shocked. I couldn’t help myself as I grew desperate.
“It’s not that easy whenever I’m around someone who needs to be healed I just need to.” She jerked her arm out of my grasp and stepped away from me. “If I don’t it kills me inside knowing that I have something inside me that can make someone better.”
“Well from now on none of us.” I waved my hand indicating ben me and Sam. ”are going to let you heal anyone.” She started to narrow her eyes at me.
“Don’t you boss me around Ian you’re not the boss of me.” Now she glared at me. “This is why only Sam knew and not you guys.” I looked from her to Sam.
“You knew about this?” I glared at Sam as she nodded. “You knew and you guys didn’t think to share this information with me?”
Ray nodded. “It’s not like you needed to know.” I couldn’t believe that they kept something this serious from me.
“How can you say that? I’ve known you since you were born and your one of my best friend’s Ray.” I couldn’t help feeling hurt.
She must’ve seen the hurt in my eyes because her eyes softened and she stopped glaring. I was past her sympathy though.
“Ian just because I didn’t tell you doesn’t mean were not friends.” She reached out to touch my arm but I jerked away.
“Maybe it does ray maybe it does.” I watched her eyes fill with tears. “I mean you are just my little sister’s friend right?”
I hated that I was being such a jerk but I was already on a roll. I needed to let out my hurt and no way was I going to cry in front of them.
“I don’t see why you’re doing this Ian?” she stepped forward again trying to get me to understand.
“Ian don’t do something you’ll regret.” Ben said quietly and Sam was glaring up at me.
“I find out that you’re going to die and you don’t see why that would hurt me?” They should’ve told me. Ray should have told me everything.
“I’m sorry Ian I didn’t think you’d react like this.” Ray was starting to cry and I resisted the urge to wipe the tears away and hold her.
“I need to go.” I whispered and Sam grabbed my arm.
“Don’t leave Ian she needs you.” Ben nodded but I just walked out the door leaving behind the only thing that mattered.
*
Later I thought about what i did and sighed raking my fingers through my hair.
Why didn’t she tell me before? Did she think that I wouldn’t care or something? I stopped and just looked out at the ocean.
I wonder what she’s doing right now. I knew I’d have to apologize tomorrow. Otherwise shell be upset for a long time.
I dug my phone out of my pocket and dialed bens number.
“Hello?” I probably woke him up seeing that it was about ten o’clock. “Hey do you know if rays at my house?”
Ben snorted. “She waited for two hours hoping you’d come back then she went home and Sam went with her.” I sighed.
“Was I being a jerk?” I knew he’d probably say yes.
“A little bit, I think you went overboard with what you said.” He was being serious I could tell. I rubbed my hand on my face and sighed again.
“Do you think shell forgive me?” Ben laughed. “I wouldn’t but knowing Ray she’d definitely apologizes then when you try to she’ll say it was her fault. He paused letting that sink in. “and you and I both know that’s worse because it makes you feel even guiltier.”
I hated it when he was right. “I’m going home now, Ben see you tomorrow.” I hung up and put the phone in my pocket then stood up.
My car was parked in the parking lot at the beach so I had a long walk ahead of me.
The ocean was the only place I felt really truly peaceful. The only place I could really think about things without getting hassled by the guys.
As I walked I thought about how ray was special. She was like my little sister; it was the only way I could describe the need to help her pulsing through my veins.
She didn’t deserve to die, not even if it was ten years from now.
The world would be nothing without her smile. Nothing.
Maybe she didn’t feel like she was something to me but she was. And at that moment I knew I would find a way to help her.
I would save her from her curse and afterwards everything would go back to normal.
*
When I got home I found out that Sam had come home as well. That meant I was doomed. I knew the moment I saw her that she was contemplating murder, my murder.
“What were you thinking Ian?” she stood up and followed me into the kitchen.
“I was upset I’m going to apologize tomorrow.” I knew exactly what she was going to say.
“Like that’s an excuse Ian she is still crying.” I winced. “You know she cares about you. She just didn’t want you to think she was weird.”
I laughed. “I’m not like that, you know that Sam, so does she.” Sam just shook her head.
“So what she just didn’t want to be treated differently by you. She wants to be normal, Ian, normal.” Sam pulled out a carton of ice cream and a spoon.
“Ok that I can understand but all she needed to do was tell me that.” I turned my back and grabbed the orange juice taking a huge gulp.
“She’s scared Ian.” I turned to look at her.
“So am I Sammy.” I didn’t usually reveal my feelings to people except Sam. After all she is my sister.
“So? I am too, only I didn’t leave when she told me.” I glared at her.
“I was angry, I’m irrational when I’m angry.” I raked my fingers through my hair and stared up at the ceiling. “I felt bad as soon as I left.”
I was hoping that would soften her up. “Yeah well it hurt her very badly Ian.” She watched me take another drink. “She cried for a long time.”
I froze. Thinking about any girl crying was my weakness. It always made me extremely uncomfortable.
I could never comfort well, especially when I was trying to comfort someone I was close to.
“That’s low Sammy and you know it.” She smirked and I grinned. “How should I apologize?”
She laughed and I shrugged. “You know that’s my other weakness.”
“Pick her up for school tomorrow, I’ll take the bus.” She stood up to go to bed. “Don’t mess up Ian, you have no idea how much she cares about you.” With that she left, leaving me to wonder what she meant.


Ch.4: Rayna
Sam wrapped her arms around me and I stood up leaning on her. I knew that before I started telling him everything he would be hurt and angry.
I had kept a huge secret from him; I knew he probably felt betrayed by me and Sam. “Do you want to go to your house?” I looked at Sam and blinked.
“I think I want to wait here for him just to see if he comes back at all.” She nodded and leaned against ben. I watched them with sadness. I wished Ian would feel that way towards me but I knew that slight chance was probably blown.
Finally after two hours of hoping I stood up and looked at Sam. “I think I’m going to go now.” She nodded and kissed ben quickly before standing up. “I’ll come with you to your house we can watch some movies or something.”
I smiled a small smile; Sam was always there for me. “Sounds exciting.”
I waited as ben left and Sam waved goodbye. “Let’s go.” She told me and we walked to my house.
Jack smiled as we walked in but he knew something had happened when I attempted to smile back. I felt tired and weak. I hated what the curse did to me how I felt after I healed someone.
“What’s wrong Ray?” I sat down on the couch and he followed.
“We told Ian but he got upset and left.” I explained and turned on the TV. He frowned and looked at Sam.
“He just left?” Sam nodded and jack shook his head.
“I think you guys should’ve told him sooner but he shouldn’t have left.” I laughed at the TV show and turned it up to block out jack and Sam’s conversation.
Jack looked over at me cautiously and then back at Sam. “Do you think she’ll be ok?”
Sam watched me for a second. “Yeah she'll be ok I’ll make sure of it.” He nodded then stood up unsure of what to do and I focused even more on the TV. “If you need me I’ll be in the kitchen or something.” Sam nodded and watched the TV with me.
Two movies later she stood up. “I’m going to go home see if Ian came back or not.” I smiled up at her then stood up also.
“Ok bye I’ll see you tomorrow.” She waved as she walked out the door. I walked up the stairs to my room and closed it softly.
My bathroom was amazing especially because it has a nice bath. I ran the water then closed the door. My muscles were always sore after I healed so I was grateful when the hot water soothed them.
I rested my head against the rim of the tub and closed my eyes. My radio was playing on my favorite station and I felt myself start to relax.
The next morning I found myself not wanting to go to school because of the night before.
Jack went to work early and I was going to have to ride the bus to school, usually I would’ve gotten a ride with Ian but today I knew that wouldn’t be an option
Which was why I was surprised when I opened my front door and saw Ian waiting for me outside.
I stared at him speechless. He looked back at me then walked up the steps to where I was standing.
“Hey ray I’m taking you to school today.” I started to shake my head but stopped when he grabbed my hand.
“Please I want to talk to you.” I sighed and walked past him to his car. He got in to and I buckled my seatbelt.
“I’m sorry I left last night ray.” I smiled at him.
“It’s ok Ian it was a lot of information.” He frowned at me then grinned slightly.
“Are you feeling ok?” I knew he was worried about me so I smiled at him again. “I’m fine don’t worry.”
I turned up the radio a little bit and hummed along to the song that was playing. “Do you have any questions?”
He knew exactly what I was talking about and after being silent for about five minutes then he slowly nodded his head.
“Are you really going to die?” It was just a soft whisper but it sent shivers down my spine. Tears gathered in my eyes and I stared out the window for a few seconds.
“Yes eventually.” I rested my forehead against the cold window and released a shaky breathe.
He was silent for another minute. “When do you think?” it was again a whisper and I turned to look at him.
“I don’t know it gets faster every generation. My mom was expected to die before she turned 30, so I figure I have till then at least.” I was 10 years old when they both died.
He was tense I could tell by the way his hands held the steering wheel.
“i- well…. Don’t worry about it ray just don’t worry about it,” I couldn’t tell who he was trying to convince himself and me.
“I know Ian I know.” I put my hand on his arm and we pulled into the school parking lot. He turned to me and sighed.
“I care about you a lot ray.” He hugged me as I thought about how I cared for him more. I got out of his car when he parked and waved as I walked away
I walked to the lockers that me and Sam shared waiting for her to get to school. She had taken the late which meant she was going to be a while. Finally she walked up to the lockers and I turned to look at her.
“Your brother picked me up for school.” I told her as we opened the lockers.
“I know I told him to last night.” I stopped and stared at her.
“So he only apologized because you told him to?” her eyes widened and she shook her head quickly.
“He wanted to apologize to you but he didn’t know how.”
I shook my head at her. “You got mad at him right?” she looked into her locker.
“So what if I did anyways he wanted my advice on how to apologize so I gave it to him.” I laughed and she grinned.
“You took the bus for me?” she nodded and I grinned. “How sweet.”
She smacked my arm but I just laughed harder. “I sacrificed myself just so he could apologize and you laugh?”
She faked a hurt look and I snorted. “That’s just shameful.” She told me while glaring. I watched as she walked ahead of me and my laughter carried with her.
I ran after her and smiled today was going to be a good day. Really good.
“Hey you want to go to the mall after school today?” Sam grinned at me I knew i had to let her have her way.
“Sure hot topic all the way Sammy.” She groaned and I giggled. “Pac sun is good to.” She nodded then frowned. “What?”
“Who’s going to drive us?” I shrugged. “I can ask jack but I doubt he can plus hell have the car.” She dug in her pocket and pulled out her phone.
“I’ll ask Ian.” She dialed his number and waited for him to answer.
“Hey can you take me and ray to the mall?” I leaned back against the lockers and listened intently for his reply.
“Um sure right after school?” I could tell by his voice he wasn’t looking forward to it.
“Yeah thanks Ian love you!” she hung up and looped her arm through mine.
“I can’t wait for the mall!” she squealed and I rolled my eyes, not revealing how excited I was to be around Ian.


Ch.5 Ian:
I don’t hate the mall. I just can’t stand it when my sister goes crazy. I know for a fact ray cant either.
For that reason I think she’s crazy to come here with my sister. This is also why I am. I still don’t know why I decided to come. Sam had been desperate and I felt generous this morning after me and ray had talked.
Oh boy was I regretting that generosity.
“Ok guys I need a new bathing suit, oh and knew boots.” We passed by another window and she sighed.
“I need to get knew sunglasses to ok?” she was jumping up and down extremely energetic. It was absolutely horrifying.
“Sam calm down geez remember, I’m going to hot topic and Pac sun I'll meet you guys at Claire’s.” I started to panic. I couldn’t believe ray was going to leave me here with Sam. “Wait.” I cried after her.
She stopped and turned amusement plain on her face. She could tell I was desperate. “I’m going with you, your normal at the mall.” I pointed at Sam. “That’s not.” Sam glared and stocked off.
“Remember Claire’s at 6 k?” Sam had turned and called to Ray. Ray nodded and I walked over to her.
“Where to first, my lady?” I stuck out my arm and she rested her hand on my forearm.
“Hmmm. Pac Sun slave.” She giggled when I glared at her and I paused to admire how beautiful she looked.
Then I shook my head and started to walk forward wondering where that thought came from.
“Why’d you come in if you know she’s like that?” Ray was trying not to laugh. I shrugged and looked down at her.
“Maybe I didn’t want you guys to get mugged or something.” That made her laugh harder which made me laugh.
We turned into Pac Sun I walked over to the men's half. “I’m going over here.” She nodded already looking at the jeans on the women’s side.
Every once in a while she would find me and ask what I thought about a pair of jeans or a shirt she thought was cute.
I felt the need to tell her I was a guy when she brought the next shirt.
“What do you think?” the top was nice but low cut and I felt a sudden urge to tell her not to get it.
“It’s not the best.” The dark side won and I felt bad when her face fell. “However I net it looks better on.”
I mentally kicked myself in the ass. Ray went back to her side and I continued to walk around aimlessly.
Why did I keep feeling protective of ray? She was my sister’s best friend. True she was one of mine as well. This didn’t explain why I found myself watching her though. Studying her every movement, the way she laughed or smiled. How her eyes got big when she saw something she wanted.
I looked around for her and stopped when I noticed she was watching me almost as intensely as I was watching her.
She smiled and flushed then looked down embarrassed.
I found myself smiling and walking over to her. “Almost done?” I asked and stepped really close to her. She was going through some more clothes with her back to me.
I leaned down and smelled her hair, its intoxicating aroma making me want to bury my face in the silky waves.
She froze and I grinned. “You smell good.” She turned slowly around and my lips brushed her forehead she blushed. “Thanks.” Her eyes were bright and her lips were beautiful.
I stepped away and nodded. “Are you almost done?” she nodded and I took another step back.
She walked over to the check out and gave her things to the lady. “That’ll be $50.76.”
Ray grabbed her wallet from her back pocket which made me look down at her butt.
I felt my mouth dry up and had to look away quickly. What was wrong with me? I went to the doors and waited for Ray to finish.
“Where do you want to go now?” I asked her when she walked over to me. She thought for a second.
“What time is it?” I took out my phone and handed it to her. “Can we go to hot topic then to wherever you want to go we still have an hour till we have to meet up with Sam.”
I nodded and took one of her bags. Then grabbed her hand and started heading in the direction of hot topic.
I watched her out of the corner of my eye and almost laughed when she looked down at our hands then up at me.
I didn’t know what I was doing but it felt right to be close to her. I just hoped everything went ok.
*
Later after hot topic and one of the many shoe stores we caught up to Sam. She was raiding Claire’s of all of their jewelry.
“Ray! Come here I found the perfect earrings for you!” Before Ray could do anything Sam grabbed her arm and steered her to a rack.
“Yup those are gorgeous they’d go great with this shirt I got at Pac Sun.” she smiled and grabbed them.
I walked over to them and grabbed their bags then piled them by me outside the store as I waited.
They walked out with a bag each and I laughed. “Who has this much money?”
They grinned. “Well Jack gives me allowance and I have a job.” I could tell she was proud.
“You know I have a job.” Sam told me without looking as she carried her bags towards the door.
Ray reached down to grab her bags and I reached down at the same time. We almost bumped heads but I grabbed her hand.
“I got it.” She laughed and grabbed two of her bags. I carried one of hers and three of Sam’s. Just proves how much Sam loves malls I guess.
“So where am I taking you two now?” Ray got in the back of the truck first then Sam.
When I got in my leg brushed against Rays and I grinned down at her. She blushed and looked away before Sam noticed.
“Can I stay over at your house tonight ray we can watch movies.” Sam gave ray her puppy dog look and Ray giggled.
“Of course but I have homework to do.” Sam nodded and turned up the stereo in the truck.
I drove them to my house first so Sam could grab her tooth brush then I watched as they walked down the street to Rays, wishing I was going to.
I went inside after I saw they made it to rays house safely.


Ch.6 Rayna:
We walked down the street to my house slowly. I could tell Sam was dying to ask me what happened at the mall.
“So how was being alone with Ian?”
I blushed and turned my head away as we walked into my house. “It was…. awesome.”
She squealed and I smiled still blushing. “Yeah I think he actually noticed me for the first time.”
We walked into the kitchen and I got out some ice cream. “What did he do?”
I sighed remembering. “Nothing obvious he held my hand and brushed against me a few times.”
Sam grabbed a spoon and took a bite of the ice cream. “Do you think he likes you?”
I looked away. “I hope so because he’s my soul mate, without him I’m definitely going to die.”
She frowned and reached over to grab my hand. “Look at me ray.”
I looked over at her and sighed. “He’s going to realize ray I know he will.” She squeezed my fingers and handed me the ice cream.
I didn’t look at her, not wanting to reveal the hopelessness in my eyes.
From now on I’d have to start coming to terms with knowing I’m going to die. Probably soon.
“Let’s go watch a movie ray.” Sam walked out of the kitchen trying to hide her sympathetic face.
I turned to follow blocking Ian from my mind.
“Hey Ray watch a guy’s doin?” Jack walked in the front door and into the front room.
“What does it look like we’re doing?” Sam replied laughing at him.
“Watching TV.” He flipped his imaginary hair and glared at them both.
Sam and I instantly cracked up. “Hey jack will you make dinner for us tonight?”
He considered for a minute then smirked. “No.”
Sam glared at him and I laughed. “Looks like were going to pizza!”
She bounced up and grabbed my hand pulling me up. I grabbed my wallet and phone then we left without even looking at jack who was laughing at us.
We went over to Sam's house and grabbed Ian's ear. “God! What do you people want?”
I leaned down and whispered in his ear. “pizza.” He laughed and grabbed my hand. “Ok let us go.”
I giggled and he smiled down at me for a minute I forgot about Sam who was watching us intently.
I walked over to her and slung my arm around her shoulders. “Let’s be off!” I shouted in her ear obnoxiously.
She laughed and we skipped to the car Ian following us.
Ian drove us and we sang really badly out the window, e.t by Katy Perry was on and we blasted it.
It’s my favorite song by her so I blast it every time it comes on.
We all busted out laughing when Ian sang all of Kanye West’s parts.
“That was amazing Ian.” I laughed as we pulled into the parking lot of The Pizza Place.
He brushed invisible lint off his shoulder and winked at me making my stomach flip. “Of course it was.”
Sam punched him. “Full of yourself much?”
He reached over and flicked her nose hard and smirked. “Why yes I am-“he paused and looked each of us in the eye.
I held in my laughter and Sam just rolled her eyes.
“I’m also quite proud of it!” He shouted in her ear and with that we walked into the restaurant.


Ch.7 Ian:
I don’t know what was going through my mind when I decided to do this. All I know is I’m going crazy, really crazy.
Maybe it was because of the mall trip or when we went to pizza but I was suddenly very drawn to ray.
Or maybe I was all along and I’m just realizing it.
Right now I’m standing in front of her door like an idiot wondering if I should knock. Finally I raised my fist and knocked three quick raps.
I could hear her through the door. “Coming!” she was probably hopping towards the door because I heard four thumps as she came over.
I took a deep breathe right before she opened the door. “Ian?” she paused looking at me and I smiled at her. “Hey I thought we could hang out because everybody’s busy today.”
She just stared at me for a second then smiled up at me. “Sure come on in.” she turned and walked back into the house. I followed and she led me to the front room.
“I was actually about to play a game you want to?” she asked as she held out a video game controller.
I grinned “every time I play you, I lose which really does nothing good for my ego.”
She snorted and shoved the controller in my hand. “It’s only because jack thinks that every person on earth should know how to play.” She rolled her eyes and sat next to me on the couch.
I scooted to the edge trying to concentrate and smelling her was going to be hard because she smelled so wonderful again today.
“Prepare to die Ian, it’s inevitable.” She said teasing me. Every time I look at her I wish she wasn’t cursed. Ray was the last person who deserved to die. It wasn’t fair, not at all.
“I don’t know about that milady.” She started the game and we started yelling at each other.
“That was weak.” I told her and she winked then defeated me for the sixth time.
“Not fair Ray you were distracting me!” I stood up now and she did to. “I was not, how was I in any way distracting you?”
I thought for a second. “I’m not sure yet but you were and you know it.” She laughed and sat back down.
“And you said I was weak?” she raised an eyebrow. “You can’t even be man enough to admit that I beat you fair and square.” She paused. “Just like I do every time.”
I grunted and stepped towards her. She backed away and into the kitchen leaving me in the front room.
I waited a while to follow her then turned off the TV.
I found her rummaging around in the refrigerator. “Watcha making?” she looked up at me and smiled.
“I’m going to make cookies.” My stomach grumbled at her words and she giggled.
“Somebody’s hungry.” She pulled out a huge bag of chocolate chips and I reached for it.
She moved them out of my reach and shook her head. “Nuhuh." I crossed my hands.
“What should I do?” she stopped and gazed over at me for a second.
“Get me some eggs.” Then she turned around and ignored me.
I don’t know what made me do it but for some reason I felt like I needed to.
I needed to hold her and caress her beautiful lips with mine, so I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around her from behind.
She froze as soon as my arms came around her. “Ian?” she whispered as I turned her around gently until she looked up at me.
I nuzzled her neck with my nose softly taking in her unique scent. Then I kissed up her neck and smiled when she let out a soft sigh.
When I finally pressed my lips to hers both smiled.
Then I remembered something that broke my heart. Ray needed her soul mate to live and I know I’m not.
I took a step back quickly and looked away from her.
“I love you Ian.” She touched my face. “So much.”
I looked down at her and stepped away again.
Then even though the hurt almost brought me to my knees I left her without a word.
Right after she told me she loved me.


Ch.8 Rayna:
I watched him walk away after the kiss and tears instantly flooded my eyes. He didn’t stop as he walked out of the front room then out the door.
I wrapped my arms around my legs and cried. The tears seemed to pump out of me uncontrollably. It hurt so badly inside that he left.
I closed my eyes and made a wish inside my heart that he would realize that we were meant to be together but I was still so scared and confused.
He meant so much to me but it was clear I didn’t mean anything to him. That hurt more than knowing I was destined to die.
It hurt more than anything I had ever known.
Sam called an hour after but I ignored it not wanting to talk to anybody. Ben texted me saying that Sam was getting nervous.
I ignored that to and walked up to my bedroom ignoring the cookie mess and buried myself under a mound of blankets and blasted my music.
I heard the door open downstairs which meant Jack was home. His footsteps stopped in the kitchen for a few minutes, and then he started up the stairs.
He stopped at my door and I waited.
He opened the door and walked over to the bed. “You don’t have to tell me what happened but I will help you clean the kitchen tonight ok?” I nodded and he walked out.
I stood up and went downstairs slowly. When I got to the kitchen I banished all thought of Ian and helped my brother.
*
I woke up Sunday morning to sums worried face. “How did you get in?” she sat down on the bed.
“Jack let me in.” I sat up and smiled at her.
“What’s up?” she looked at me as if my head blew up, and I wouldn’t have been surprised if it had.
“What happened yesterday?” I looked out my window at her question and sighed.
“I don’t really want to talk about it.” She nodded and stood up.
“You should come over and swim with me.” I tensed and closed my eyes for a second.
“sure.” she smiled at me and went to the door. “I’ll meet you downstairs just grab your bathing suit and some clothes k?” I nodded and she left.
I grabbed my shorts and bathing suit top then changed into jeans and a t-shirt.
I brushed my teeth and hair then ran downstairs. Sam was on the phone when I came in. I went back into the hall and listened to what she was saying.
“Ian are you sure you don’t know what’s wrong with her?” I stalled not wanting to listen but unable to move.
“What did you do?” I hadn’t heard his reply but he probably sounded guilty.
“Why would you do that?”
I sighed and sat down on the floor still listening.
“That’s ridiculous!” Sam was getting angry.
“Fine be a coward but were coming to the house to swim so leave us alone.”
I walked into the room then and she turned around and smiled.
“Well she just walked in and we're coming over now.” She hung up and looped our arms then led me to the door.
“Is your brother at your house?” she frowned.
“Yes but he’s going to be in his room.” I nodded and we started to walk down the street.
“Can you believe that school is going to be over in a month?” I shook my head and laughed.
“We're going to be seniors how weird is that?” Her eyes widened.
“Oh my god I haven’t thought about it.”
We got to her house and walked around to the backyard where the pool was.
She walked over right away and stripped down to her bathing suit then dived in.
I held my breath when the cold water splashed me then followed Sam into the pool.
For a while I forgot about all my issues with Ian and allowed myself to enjoy the sun.
Sam and I got out of the pool and layed down on the lawn chairs I looked up at Ian’s window and sighed wishing he would come out and want to be with me.
I got my hopes up to early, and now I wish I could make him see how much we need to be together.
I know now he’s never going to love me no matter how hard I try to show him.
“Come on ray-ray let’s lay out and tan.” Sam was trying really hard to distract me from thoughts of Ian.
“ok.” I got out then turned towards the house. “I’m really thirsty do you want me to grab you a soda?”
She nodded and I ran inside. When i got to the kitchen I opened the fridge then stopped when I heard a noise behind me.
I closed my eyes and prayed that it would be ray.
I turned slowly and came face to face with Ian, my mouth dried up and tears came to my eyes quickly.
“Ray...” I cut him off. “Don’t.” then I turned and walked away from him like he did to me.


Ch.9 Ian:
I thought about her all night then all day Sunday. What had possessed me to kiss her?
She needed her true love to save her and all I would do is be in the way. After her and Sam swam for a couple hours, Ray left and Sam came up to my room.
When I walked into the kitchen and seen her I froze for a minute just watching her.
Then she turned around and I numbed myself to the pain all over again.
“What’s up with you?” She was upset and it was obvious.
I just looked up at her from the floor where I was laying down.
“How could you just kiss her and then leave her?” She sat down next to me and crossed her arms.
“I didn’t mean to kiss her.” Then I watched as Sam's eyes got huge.
“How could you not mean to?” She just stared down at me.
“Sam just go, I do not want to discuss this with you. Ever.” She rolled her eyes and scooted closer to me.
“She needs you Ian. “ Sam’s whisper made my heart squeeze painfully in my chest.
“She needs her true love Sam and I doubt that’s me.” I watched her face and smiled grimly.
“We both know it Sam there’s nothing I can do.”
We were silent for a minute then Sam started to shake her head.
“Listen I promised Ray I wouldn’t tell you but I think you need to know.” I stared at her curious. “Ray told me something after the mall. I’ve always known she was in love with you but she told me that –“she broke off and looked away.
“She told me that somehow she knows that you are her true love.” I just stared at her for a second not knowing whether to laugh or hit something.
“That’s not cool Sam messing with me like that I know that I was stupid but this is wrong.” She started laughing before I finished.
“Oh my god you guys are both so stupid! Her life is on the line here and you guys can’t even communicate.” She shook her head and I stood up.
“What the hell are you talking about Sam?” She stood up and walked to my window then turned back to me.
“You guys are soul mates, you and Ray, Ian.” I just stared at her in shock. What?
“I-" My hands shook and she started laughing at me again.
“Now you know so what are you going to do about it?” Sam put her hands on her hips and glared at me.
“I’m not sure yet.” It was the only thing I could say.
*
Monday started out badly. First I was late to my first class which wasn’t too bad but then I saw ray.
She looked beautiful but sad and I mentally kicked myself in the ass for the 20th time that day.
Then when I tried to talk to her she would find some way to get away.
It was starting to get on my nerves because I really needed to talk to her. I shouldn’t have treated her the way I did. I should’ve paid more attention to her.
I couldn’t dwell on what I should’ve done just what I’m going to do. This was cornering her and demanding her to listen. Or tie her to a chair and tell her but I was hoping for the first option.
It was lunch now and she was going to be all mine. At least I hoped because it was really starting to eat at my insides. Literally.
“Hey.” Ben and Sam were already sitting at the table. I glanced around looking for ray.
“Where is she?” Sam pointed to a spot behind my back so I turned around.
Ray was sitting with a guy in her grade. She was also laughing. Instant jealousy inflamed my head.
“Who is he?” I stared at ray and the guy then looked back at Sam and ben who were trying to ignore me.
“Who is he Sam?”
She looked up and frowned. “He’s in our Spanish class, he’s been interested in ray since last year but she’s always told him no when he asked her out.” She paused. “Today she said yes.”
I shook with jealousy as I stood up.
“Ian, do not do something stupid.” I ignored her and walked towards the table ray was at.
“Ray we need to talk.” I told her glaring at the guy next to her.
She didn’t look up. “I’m busy.” I laughed darkly and sat down.
“Now were both busy.” She snorted and turned to the guy after glancing at me.
“Where were we?” the guy laughed and ignored me as well.
“We should go see a movie tonight.” The guy told her. I shook my head.
“She’s busy tonight.” Ray giggled ignoring me still.
“Ok.” The guy grinned as if he’d won a million dollars and in my eyes he had.
“Call me.” She told him then stood up and walked away. I watched her for a minute then turned to ...it.
I stared him down then when he looked away I leaned closer to him threateningly.
“Ray is mine do you understand?” He shook his head.
“She doesn’t belong to anybody.” I laughed again.
“Ray is with me she’s just upset at the moment, got it?” He nodded then and I smiled satisfied.
“Don’t talk to her again k?” he nodded again and I got up then walked over to Sam and Ben.
“What’s Ray’s next class?” Sam shook her head and I glared at her.
“I’m not telling you Ian you’re just going to have to wait.” She picked up her lunch and ben did the same. “You’ve hurt her enough.”
She walked away from me and ben stood at the table for a minute a shrugged and he sighed running after Sam.
I left the cafeteria with my shoulders hunched and thinking about all that I needed to do to win the love of my life back.


Ch.10 Rayna:
I couldn’t believe Ian had done that to me. He didn’t want to be with me and yet he just had to ruin my lunch.
I don’t understand what his problem is! If he ‘knows’ he’s not my soul mate what if Matt is?
I didn’t wait for Sam to get a ride with Ian; instead I walked over to my bus and sat in the very back ignoring everyone who got on.
After a half hour the bus turned onto my street and came to a stop.
I got off and walked on the other side of the street until I passed Ian and Sam's house.
Jacks car wasn’t in the driveway when I walked up the sidewalk and I sighed with relief.
I’d be alone for the next couple of hours and I really needed it.
I unlocked the door and walked inside the house right as I saw Ian pull up to his house.
I sighed and grabbed an orange from the fruit basket in my kitchen then went up to my room to blast angry music and paint a picture of Ian getting his head bashed in.
I pulled out a fresh canvas and prepared my paints.
Sam texted me and I ignored it not wanting to put up with anybody else today.
My brushstrokes were short and sharp, the colors dark and sad.
My tears ran down my face blurring my vision slightly. Jack knocked on my door and I ignored him to, concentrating only on the art piece I was creating.
Pain filled my heart and made my painting beautiful yet heartbreaking all at the same time.
Hours later I stood back from my painting and really saw what I had done.
I had painted myself with tears streaming down my face and my hands holding my chest, crying out to Ian who was off in the distance with his back turned.
I knelt on the floor in front of it and cried for the fifth time in just the last couple days.

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Tag der Veröffentlichung: 07.09.2011

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