Her name Candy, did not suit her, she should’ve had a more formal sounding name such as: Elizabeth Margaret or Kathryn. Her dull black hair was pulled back into a tight pony tail, which only accentuated her pinched features. She had carefully applied her makeup, outlining her eyes, filling in her lips with a pale pink lipstick and adding a slight color to cheeks, just enough to look natural, but not overdone. It was a shame that she kept her sleek frame and long legs hidden under loose fitting designer clothes, expensive but bland and drab colors. Mostly she chose blacks, grays and browns, colors that did not make her stand out – colors that served her purpose. She sat in the passenger seat staring out the windshield as her husband drove. She absent mindedly picked lint off of her slacks, smoothed out the fabric and then folded her arms across her chest. Frank, her husband, glanced over at her with a scowl. Candy ignored him, as she did so well, straightened her spine and pushed out her chen.
The three children sat in the backseat, each wishing they were anyplace else but where they were. Niles the oldest, earphones plugged in and head slumped down ignored everyone. Bethany and Brittany sat side by side texting their friends. Brittany finally broke the silence with a loud sigh and in a shrill voice said, “I can’t believe that you are making us go visit grandpa in the hospital. I hate hospitals and old people – they smell. It’s not like he’s going to know we are even there.” Her siblings quickly added in their complaints and requested they be dropped off at the school where the dance was about to start. Clenching his jaw, Frank gripped the steering wheel so tight that his knuckles turned white. “You kids need to stop your complaining, we’re all going, just like your mother wants us to do, we have no choice.” After a few moments of contemplation Frank added, “You know that you called me out of an important meeting, my team is continuing without me. Brittany is right your dad won’t even know we are there.” He tried one last time to convince her that it would be better to drop her off and she could get a cab ride home. Candy inhaled, tried to calm herself, she didn’t want to respond to Frank, she knew if she did she would say something hateful. She knew this was probably going to be the last time she was going to see her father.
She couldn’t blame them for their reactions and lack of feeling toward her father. She had taught them first hand their selfishness. In her efforts to create a perfect family and a perfect life she had alienated everyone close to her. She built up her façade brick by brick starting as a young girl; her perfection is what hid her fears, her self-doubt. She had tried so many times to connect with her father, to make him proud and to make him love her. No matter what she did it was never good enough. She left home as soon as she graduated from high-school and never looked back. It wasn’t until he had slipped into a coma almost six months ago that she had finally found time for him in her life.
Over the past few months she had visited him several times a week. Sitting next to him, she would take his icy hand in hers. At first her talk was trivial, about how the kids were doing in school, a new account she had just gotten at work. She brought pictures of her family and placed them around room. She read to him westerns, books she had remembered he had loved to read. Finally, she began to open up to him, telling him how her fears had come true when she had tried so hard to prevent it from happening. Her children and husband had become distant from her. All of them selfish and demanded their own needs be met, but nobody gave back. She began to realize that she had turned her back on him long ago, just as her children were doing to her, and it hurt. She realized that her father had tried in his own way to show he loved her, but he just didn’t know how.
According to her friends and co-workers she had the perfect life. Both she and Frank had successful careers; the children were involved in sports and excelled in academics. No one ever went without always getting whatever they wanted or desired. During the holidays her home looked like a photo spread in one of those architectural magazines, and everyone had present after present to open. Each child had a cell phone, an allowance, their own room, a computer and closets full of clothing. The older kids had their own cars. She had hired a gardener and a housekeeper to keep her home in order. Her custom built home was located on the edge of an exclusive golf course. Frank was able to walk right out the back door to the 9th hole. The family preferred to spend their time away from the house either at work or with their friends.
Frank pounded on the horn. “Come on! Get out of the way you old fool!” Candy looked out to see an old man, hunched over a wheelchair. He appeared to be pushing an old woman, maybe his wife or his elderly sister, into the hospital. Frank honked again. The old man stopped and looked at Frank, shook his head and then moved on in his slow and methodical pace.
The elevator ride up to the fifth floor was silent. The girls stood flat against the wall, giving each other sidelong glances. And when a good looking intern got on the elevator they nudged and elbowed each other. Frank stood staring at the numbers as they lit up. The group stood outside of the hospital room, behind Candy, no one wanted to cross the threshold. Candy’s father had a grey cast to his skin; he looked tiny and weak lying in the hospital bed - tubes and monitors everywhere. Candy motioned for them to enter and they straggled in standing at the end of the bed. Bethany held her nose, Brianna rolled her eyes, and Niles still didn’t lift his head. Frank shuffled from foot to foot and kept glancing at his watch. She was getting exactly what she deserved, but this wasn’t about her, this was about her father. Candy took her familiar seat next to him, she took his hand in hers. In a small quiet voice she told her family to leave. This small and almost inaudible announcement produced a sigh of relief from each of them. As Frank shut the door behind himself she told her father how sorry she was that she was unable to make him happy. She realized now that she had gone about it all wrong, her life was a lie, she had tried to create a world of her own that didn’t exist. She had wanted to feel safe, secure and needed. But in trying to create her world she had driven everyone apart and away from her. She promised him that she would change, hopefully it wasn’t too late. Candy wasn’t sure but she thought she felt her father squeeze her hand, maybe she saw his eye lids flutter.
She found her children scattered around in the waiting room, each slouched in their own colorful plastic chair. Frank on his phone, “I’ll be there in 30 minutes, don’t touch anything” he said and slammed his phone shut. “Can we get out of here now? I have to get back to the office.” He glared at Candy until she answered. ”Yes, I am done here,” she sighed and then began the walk back to their car. Not caring if anyone was following, not listening to the complaints and questions. She hoped that she had not made an empty promise to her father.
Frank pulled into the driveway, barely stopping to let everyone out. The kids scrambled out, each scattering off in different directions. The tires squealed as Frank peeled out of the driveway and headed back to his office. If anyone had cared they would have noticed Candy slowly walking up the staircase to her room, they would have heard her on the other side of the door as she sat sobbing, and maybe they would have gone in and held her as she cried. Instead, she sat alone on the edge of her perfectly made bed, crying and praying a silent prayer that she would be shown the way to change and to keep her promise to her father, not only for herself, but for the sake of her children and husband.
The ringing of the phone woke her up at 2:00 am; she knew what the news was before she even answered. It was the doctor, calling to inform her that he was terribly sorry, he’d done all he could do, but her father has passed on. She thanked him, and gently hung up the phone. She lay her head back on her pillow, reached out and felt the cold bed where Frank should be. She turned on her bedside lamp and noticed that Frank’s side of the bed had not been slept in. She wanted to call him at work, but she knew he wouldn’t care; he would probably be more upset with her interruption. She slipped on her robe and stepped into her slippers and made her way quietly down to the kitchen. Opening all of the cabinets she pulled out the contents and began to reorganize her already neat kitchen. When she finished with her cabinets she moved on to the pantry and then the refrigerator, working long after the sun rose.
The next few weeks after the funeral were a blur for Candy. She hadn’t known that her father had so many friends and people who truly cared about him. In a daze, she carried on in her normal routine; her family barely spoke to her, barely acknowledged her. Her performance at work became increasingly poor, her co-workers sensed that she was preoccupied and the work she was producing was not her up to her normal standards. Her boss suggested that she take some time off, which she did. At home she continued on in her monotony, not knowing what to do, life was unfolding before her and she didn’t know what to do.
It wasn’t until several months after her father died that an opportunity for change finally presented itself. The doorbell rang, she was expecting a delivery or the dog walker instead, there was a small Vietnamese woman standing on her porch, behind her two skinny and awkward looking Vietnamese girls leaned on each other. The woman held out her hand for Candy to shake, “Good morning, I am sorry to bother you, my name is Monica Nguyen.” She dropped her hand when Candy did not accept her offer. “No thank you, I am not interested in whatever you are selling” she said as she began to shut the door. “I am not selling anything; I have a gift from your father.” Candy’s eyes flew open; she didn’t know what to say. She regained her composure and invited them in. “Please, please come in, sit. May I get you anything?” she asked the woman. The girls kept their heads bowed and remained huddled close to each other. Candy sat down and gestured for the woman and the girls to sit across from her.
“My name is Monica Nguyen. And I am correct in assuming that you are Candy Turner?” Candy nodded eager to hear what this woman had to say. “You said you had a gift from my father? How did you know my father?” she asked.
“I will answer all of your questions but let me explain a few things first. I have been your father’s attorney and good friend for the last 20 years. I am sorry to say that there are quite a few things you don’t know about your father. I wasn’t able to come and see you earlier, I had promised I wouldn’t come and see you until I had the girls. There is no easy way for me to say this so I will just say it; these two girls are your nieces.” The corner of Candy’s mouth began to twitch, “I don’t understand. I am an only child, and these girls are Vietnamese. How could they be my nieces?” Monica went on, “Your father had a wife when he was stationed in Vietnam during the war. It was a marriage that was not recognized by the Vietnamese nor the United States government. Your father was injured during combat and he was sent back to the states. He spent many, many months in the hospital, unconscious. He finally regained his mental capacities and was able to talk, it was too late. The village his wife and family lived in was destroyed, the refugees had moved on. The Vietnamese government was not much help; there were no records of who had survived and where they had relocated to. Your father never knew what happened to his wife or to the baby that she was expecting. He’d received many rumors about the family, but nothing ever panned out. Many years he searched for her and was not able to find her. He tried to get on with his life here, marrying your mother and having you were a great blessing to him, but he always longed for his first wife and child. He never gave up looking for them. His hope was that some day he would find them and take care of them. “
Candy sat fell back in her chair, tears spilling out of her eyes. She got up and went to the kitchen; she leaned against the counter for support, hung her head down and took in several deep breaths trying to compose herself. Obviously the two girls needed her, and her father had wanted her to take care of them. Her heart ached knowing that her father had suffered for so many years, alone. If only he had shared his secret, maybe she would have understood and life would have made sense to her. She tried to compose herself, blew her nose and wiped her eyes dry.
She returned to the living room and apologized for her rudeness, and asked Monica to continue with her story. “When your father got so sick about six months ago, that is when we finally found the girls.” She pointed to the older girl, “this is Phuong; she is 12 and this Anh she is 10. Both girls have lived in the orphanage since they were very young. Both of them barely remember barely remember their parents. How they ended up in an orphanage is very confusing, but their mother and father are both dead, as well as their grandparents. So you see you are all they have. It was your father’s wish that they be raised by you and your husband. I am so sorry that he did not live to see these girls. I think him knowing about the girls is what kept him going those last six months, he just couldn’t hold on any longer.” She dabbed a little tear from her eye, and then said something to the girls in Vietnamese. Both girls stood up and bowed their heads, putting their hands out timidly for Candy to shake. Instead Candy took both girls and wrapped her arms around them, gently kissing each girl on the top of the head.
The girls nodded and smiled as Candy showed them around the house, peeking into the bedrooms, they giggled in the bathrooms and their eyes grew wide when they saw the stainless steel double door refrigerator in the kitchen. Candy motioned for them to sit down and turned the big screen TV on for them to watch. The kids would be home from school soon. How would she explain these girls? This is what she had been asking for, her father wanted her to have these girls, and she would have to make it work. This was the connection she had been trying to make with her father ever since she was a little girl.
Brianna and Bethany got home, talking excitedly to each other about a new boy in school. They both stopped and stared at Phuong and Anh, and then looking at their mother for an explanation. They had both noticed the change in their mother and they didn’t really like having her home when they got home from school, and now there were two strange girls watching TV in their family room. Candy put her finger up to her lips to shush them before they said anything, ushering them into the kitchen where she told them the same story that Monica had told her a few hours earlier. “Well, I am not sharing my room or any of my clothes.” Brianna said. “Me neither” Bethany echoed. “I hoped that you would want to share with your family. These girls have nothing, they have lost everything. So you think about what you could do for these girls, they are your cousins.” They walked off, whispering to each other, looking back into the family room as they passed. Candy went through the same routine two more times, once with Niles and then again with Frank. Niles was uninterested; his only comment was that they better stay out of his room and not touch any of his stuff, especially his CDs. Frank thought the girls should be sent to live with a local Vietnamese family where they’d fit in better.
Candy was unable to convince her daughters to give up a spot in their room or any clothing; she made her nieces comfortable in the family room. Fixing them each a bed up on the sofas, she arranged several big fluffy pillows and gave each girl a pile of warm blankets. Her daughters had donated pajamas, the pairs they had gotten for Christmas the year before, and didn’t like. Phuong and Anh again nodded and smiled as Candy arranged their beds. Candy tucked them both in and turned out the lights, leaving a small light glowing in the hallway, in case they were afraid of the dark.
Brianna and Bethany got up in the middle of the night. They had planned to play a prank on their cousins, hopefully, make them want to leave. Their plans quickly changed when they found the Phuong and Anh had created pallets on the hard floor with their blankets, the fluffy pillows remaining on the sofa and their thin dresses, folded neatly, lay at the end with their worn out shoes resting on top. Phuong and Anh weren’t in their beds; they were in the kitchen on their hands and knees. With their pajamas bottoms rolled up and each with a scrub-brush and a pail of hot soapy water – they were scrubbing the tile floor. Bethany and Brianna didn’t say a word, instead they knowingly glanced at each other and silently crept back up to their rooms, ashamed of what they were planning, not comprehending their cousin’s acts of selflessness.
They didn’t tell anyone what they had seen; they kept the secret between themselves. When Candy got up she found that her daughters had made a large breakfast and were serving their cousins. The four of them sat around the kitchen table, looking at each other and giggling back and forth. Phuong and Anh wearing new clothing that had once belonged to her daughters.
A miracle was happening before her eyes; Bethany and Brianna were sharing, and spending less time in their rooms and on their phones. Candy got rid of the dog walker and housekeeper and began splitting up the chores between the girls. Niles and Frank though, were tougher. Niles noticed the changes in his sisters, he couldn’t figure out what they saw in Phuong and Anh. They were awkward, had stringy hair, and they didn’t speak English. When they tried to say his name but it always sounded like they had rocks in their mouths. He just ignored them, figured it was some phase the women in the house were going through. He began a small quiet change on his own. It began the day he stood on the landing, looking down as he tried to adjust his iPod he noticed his cousins sitting in front of the TV staring up at the blank screen. He realized in that brief moment, that they didn’t know how to turn it on, they probably never had TV where they lived. He picked through the DVD’s and found one that had been a favorite of his sister’s, he turned on the player, inserted the DVD. Phuong and Anh just sat and watched, they kept looking at Niles, nodding their heads at him and smiling. Although they couldn’t understand the language, they understood the story; they laughed when they were supposed to and got angry when they were supposed to. Again, Candy watched the scene as it unfolded, careful not to interrupt.
At first the changes were small, Candy began to buy less expensive clothes, shop at the discount stores. She spent less money every month on herself and her children. She stopped the cable service in their rooms and removed their TVs (without complaint). The girls began to follow in their mother’s footsteps and shared with their cousins; clothes, shoes and helped them with English. Niles began to teach them about music, how to play catch and toss a football.
Frank was caught up in his own world, almost an outsider. He didn’t see what was happening to his family until he came home one night to what appeared to him to be a brand new family and he liked what he saw. He saw his children sitting in the living room with their friends and cousins playing video games, his wife in the kitchen cooking and singing. Was she really wearing pink sweat pants? Her pinched features had softened, her hair was loose around her shoulders; she looked younger and more vibrant that she had in years. He liked what he saw and he began to spend fewer hours at work, began to spend more time with his wife and his children. That evening he took the whole family out to dinner at a Vietnamese restaurant where they learned about Anh and Phuong’s culture.
A year had gone by since Candy’s father died. The family crammed into the mini-van. Frank drove, this time he was relaxed and calm, he kept reaching over to his wife and gently rubbed her hand and shoulder. Each of the girls held a single rosebud. Niles sat between his cousins and they laughed and giggled together over the song he was playing for them. They all stood around their grandfather’s grave, the girls crying quietly as each gently placed a rose on their grandfather’s grave. Niles placed a CD of music he had complied for his grandfather. Phuong and Anh knelt down and touched the grave of the grandfather they had never met. Frank stood back with Candy, his arm around her shoulders gently cradling her and kissed her on the cheek. He turned to her and apologized for his behavior when her father was dying. He should have been there for her, more importantly he had wished that he had gotten to know her father while he was alive. He promised Candy, that he would never go back to being the man he was.
Candy, hugged her husband, and the children surround them. She had done what she had promised her father she would do, but it was only because of her father’s past. She could not regret that it had taken her father’s death for her life to change, she had to thank him that had changed, so had her all family. More important the family was now complete.
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Tag der Veröffentlichung: 15.02.2010
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