You have got to live for yourself, that’s what I learnt that day the day, when everything changed, the day when I was compelled to face the harsh reality of life. All these years I had been on cloud nine. Everything seemed so easy to me, but suddenly I realized life isn’t a bed of roses. It’s not easy to just go on without caring for someone, without loving someone. But that was the very mistake that I did which is why I am here today writing down my sad reminiscences, related to those sweet moments which I cherished once. Coming back to the blunder I did for which I curse myself everyday is something which everyone has experienced once in their life time. For me it turned out to be a nightmare…but for others those who are lucky...it turns out to be their reason for existence. I guess you already know what I am talking about. I did a mistake when I fell in love, when I started caring for someone, when I gave him everything that I had in my possession. Oh! How I repent those doing those things that I did for him. But it’s too late, I am doomed and along with it I have doomed all the expectations that I had.
His eyes…that’s what made me fall for him...I had seen innocence in those eyes, but I was mistaken at that time. Lurking behind those black eyes was the devil that wanted lust and not love. I was an idiot. I didn’t see it at that time…maybe I wasn’t looking for it at all. The way he said he loves me….made me cry….I couldn’t stop myself. I was head over heels in love with him. When I saw him my heart missed a few beats, my pulse rate increased. There was a sudden excitement that I felt whenever I saw him. The excitement of talking with him, the excitement of hearing his voice made me blind. I had lost all my sense; I had lost all my judgment. I didn’t know what was right and what was wrong. All I knew was that I loved him and I can’t live without him, not even for a second. “No one in this world is born for you, but you can make someone live for you.” yes..I was living for him, just for him. He was the one and only reason for my existence. He was the only reason for whom I was still breathing, continuing my life in this gloomy world.
I, who resented love once, who thought “LOVE” is nothing but “Loss Of Valuable Energy”, had now succumbed to love herself. I was swimming in the sea of love and surprisingly I didn’t want to come out of it. I wanted to drown in it forever…………………….
He never appreciated my love for him. He left me so many times. But I ran after him. He used to tell me horrible things. He used to make me cry. But I trusted him. You see trust is the basis of love. No matter how he hurt me I still had the trust in him. I was madly in love with him. I could do anything for him……..anything.
He was sweet at times but harsh most of the times. He wanted to feel me…but I wasn’t ready for that. But slowly I gave in. I remember the day when we first kissed. I was completely lost in him. His touch made me shiver. His smile made me freeze. We planned our future together. I was so happy.
But suddenly……..

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Tag der Veröffentlichung: 23.09.2012

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