The Beginning

'Why? Why is he watching us?' I would ask myself, standing at my locker with my boyfriend and ex was not the most comfortable thing in the world, considering that they were friends... We were all friends. Thinking about the past was enough to make my stomach do several flips, until I found support from the metal door of my locker.

"Bree?" My boyfriend, Shane would put a hand on my trembling shoulders, his face perhaps too close to mine.

"Forget it, I'm fine." I said through clenched teeth, watching as my ex boyfriend, Eric, fled the scene and out the black double doors of our shit hole high school.

"We should go." Shane mumbled then took my hand and led me down the obnoxious, utterly unnecessary hallway.

As soon as we were outside, I felt as if a weight was lifted from my chest, it was Friday, the second of May which meant perfect weather. My head would turn so I could take in the sight of my new boyfriend. Okay, we were currently a day old couple, but he gave me butterflies, but I guess that's how it all starts out... Right?

Approaching my house, I stared at the shiny, red Outlander that belonged to my mother, of course she would be home. The sight of the car made Shane's hand tighten its grip around mine, which made me grimace a little as we entered the small, yet cozy house.

"Hey, Bree." My mother would say, her large brown eyes boring into mine which only meant she was already suspicious of my skater boyfriend, I really don't blame her.

"We're going outside, Shane is going to teach me how to skateboard." My off toned voice trembled, my bottom lip quivered as I held my breath, watching my mother's reaction which was masked all too well for me to tell what she was really thinking.

"Go ahead." She finally said and without hesitation, I pulled Shane outside and to the back yard.

Obviously, we weren't going to skate board, that was the last thing on his mind, and maybe even mine. Shakily, I brought him to a small but acceptable picnic table, as soon as we both sat, his greedy lips were against mine, forcing me into a demanding kiss that made me dizzy. His firm grip went from around my shoulders to my breasts within five seconds, which made my body tense and tremble.

The kiss turned sloppy and repulsive, his hands grew too rough and were quickly making their way to the my more private areas. Three fingers slipped between my thighs and roughly rubbed against the thick fabric of my jeans. Everything throbbed, my lips quivered too much to continue playing the sick game with his tongue and mouth. I couldn't find it in myself to say no, to tell him to stop because it might have felt wrong, but it also felt good...

Re-thinking

There was no time for me to breathe during that first visit with Shane, it was dreadful to tell you the truth. The constant touching, the desirable look he had in his eyes. All of it was too much, what teenager could handle such a thing?

"I love you." He mumbled in my ear once we spotted his mother's car. I felt my form go rigid, my stomach had churned, but I forced a smile upon my swollen lips.

"I love you too." What else was there to say, I felt trapped. I was confused.

"I will talk to you later, okay?" Before I could even answer, his lips were dominating mine once more. With a gentle push to his chest, a nervous laugh managed to reveal itself but was easily covered with a cough.

"You should go, your mother is waiting." I whispered as his arms wrapped possessively around my waist. His embrace tightened then finally ended with a kiss on the forehead. Before he even completely turned around, I sprinted back home, not once looking back.

Once I managed to slip by my mother who was too busy with her online games, I took one step into my room and gently closed the door. My fingers ran through my long, curly locks, mossy green orbs had been squeezed shut to trap the sudden tears that had formed. I felt myself collapse to the ground, a violent sob caught in my throat. Breaking down like that was almost a relief, I was not the kind of person to cry in front of anyone, I refused to show weakness which maybe was a mistake.

Bets

"So, how are you and Shane?" My friend Jess had asked me, sitting on my bed with her legs crossed. She was so small and happy, it made me feel a sense of relief.

"We're alright." My voice had lowered as I stared at my laptop, trying my best to carry out a conversation with Shane.

"Oh yeah?" Blue orbs had burned into mine as I looked up from the screen. My slim brows came together momentarily before I sighed and glanced down.

"Things have been moving too fast." I muttered, afraid to meet her gaze.

"I knew it. How far did it go?" Her eyes had widened with curiosity which made me laugh some under my breath, though the situation wasn't really a laughing matter.

"Touching over the clothes." I quickly closed my laptop and turned to look at her more directly.

"I bet you guys won't even last two months without having sex." She snickered and shook her head. I knew she would be disappointed, I was not surprised in the least bit.

"You're on. Just you watch." The bet was sealed with a laugh and a half assed handshake.

 

 The night was filled with laughs and alcohol, I wanted to forget everything. I wanted to forget how violated I felt; the awful bruising of my lips, the possessive grasps, the desire filled glares.

Impressum

Tag der Veröffentlichung: 23.06.2013

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Widmung:
To anyone who has been through any form of relationship abuse or mistrust.