The Dream
Courage enables us to conquer fear, change for the better every year. Today ill tell you the story, of how I beat my minds fear and worry. This is a story I call “Rise above, Life goes on”. So now gather around every daughter and every son. From all around, you can hear this story of what almost sent me to the ground. Come sit by the camp fire, before the night expires. Take a few blankets, to ensure your warm, maybe even a few jackets, I assure you though there will be no storm. The night is young, now let me continue with words that slip off my tongue.The start of the story begins, with thoughts that make my mind spin. Those thoughts haunt, but are only there to taunt. They say “You don’t have the guts to do it! You think about it, you talk about it, but you wont do it”. They laugh, later when about a time and a half has pasted, they go on “You wont end everything, you can't stop breathing! Just remember nothing, let all your frustration go, but don’t end it like so. Find another way out, don’t ever doubt!” The mocking has gone, leaving me to yawn. Those thoughts realized that if I’m gone, they are nothing and will be forever alone. Secrets and thoughts, always follow you like stained spots. So even in your grave, they wont fade.
“Easy, it would not take long, you will find that place everyone seeks. Follow the Angelic song, at the end of the road, you will no longer be that freak” Those thoughts encourage and instruct, that left me about ready to erupt. I was so confused and lost, not knowing who to turn to because of lack of trust. 'How easy it would be, there are so many different techniques' I think to myself.“You, yes you..One of the very few that understands” I reach out to the crowd of troubled teens. “You can put a bullet to your head, a rope around your neck, knife through your chest, or run in front of a car. But remember those that care, not those that aren’t fair. Its a hard decision, but just envision, all those that make you, all those that break you, but who really are you?” I tell the crowd encouraging, not to take that route. Its because I am caring, I tell them this story not to scare them.I continue my story with something to help wash away there worry “Stand up above them all, Don't cower and crawl. Stand up, head held high to show no fear! Pay them no attention or ear, you can do it, the end is near!” I tell them, knowing what there going through maybe I can help mend till the end. I remember that things like this are sempiternal, part of life the battle of external and internal. You can either swim or sink bellow, build a bridge and get over it, or say fair well, the process repeats. “Just remember ill leave you with this, looking at the ember I hope I gave your soul a kiss. But life goes on, no matter the negative or positive response, if you make it through to me that seems like something to flaunt.” I end my story to the younger generation, hoping to inspire a new nation.
I may not know what exactly what they are going through, but if similar things happened to you, wouldn't you be able to understand and review? I want to help and reach out, through my inspiring words of my minds experience with life’s different routes. To me its as if some its 'help' they shout, attention in the smallest bit is lacking that’s why they cry but the response is those of a deserts cry for water but only to receive yearly drought. Most likely they are going through a dark time, they need someone to lead them to the light, set them back on the straight line. I try to be the one that helps as much as I can, though I may not be a hit man, there has to be another way I can help. If speaking words of encouragement will help its what I will do never will I be one for judgment. I wont let people stop me from fighting for things I care for. No matter what the cost or how much of a chore. I love to help people, nothing will stop me not the things people say or do as long as I am able. Not even if people think I'm not mentally stable, my mind is good just not simple. Helping others with emotional, physical, or mental problems if you can is always a joy.
The Awakening
I've been walking for hours on this path. It seems to lead no where. I cant remember anything. "Who am i? where did i come from? How did i get here? Where does this road lead? where does it end? Why or How did i end up here?" I've been asking out loud to no one in particular, just hoping i get an answer spectacular. I'm completely vulnerable. I'll believe anything anyone tells me because I'm clueless and cant remember anything. If anyone were to tell me something I'd believe them even if what they said wasn't true because I'm innocently clueless. 'At least try to remember my own name..' I think to myself, but my mind comes back blank.
"I wonder if anyone's looking for me? or if i even have a family?" I sigh heavily. I've been walking for what seems like hours now, one this never ending road. But the weather is not hot were i would die of dehydration of heat stroke. The weather is not to cold were I'd get hypothermia or frost bite and die. But nice and warm and the air is moist so it keeps me hydrated. There are also a lot of trees along the path with food like fruits on them so I'm not starving( its like I've died and gone to heaven.). I'm fully clothed and untouched, so happy for that.
i don't feel safe. I feel like someones been watching me all day since i woke up. but even then i felt like i was being watched while i was asleep, that's why i woke up. My conclusion to this is I'm being stalked by someone or something and I'm prepared to fight it even if it means the death of me. I mean i have nothing to loose, not that i know of at-least. Like I don't even think people know I'm gone.
"Maybe I'm dead. How old am I? Am i older than eighteen? By the looks of it I'm maybe sixteen. What year is it? When is my birthday? I ask myself but I'm still as clueless as ever." Speaking my thoughts out loud i continue my walk.
Another black out, i ponder the dream i had, what it could possibly mean, i guess only time will tell. I find myself in a house when i awaken, voices around me, some memories come back to me. I remember....But i dont wanna be here!
Realization
“Things aren’t right, in this god forsaken house.” Silence is deafening, thoughts are souse. Like drowning demons, but they do not die their to hellbent. Trying to claw her way out from these echoing walls of torment. Struggling to remain here, fighting with herself trying to convince herself “I want to be here.” Trying to better oneself, for others benefit. “What do I do for myself? What can I do for myself?” one thinks, again with the stressed and feelings of hopelessness. “What an inconvenience to find oneself” She thinks, “To what do I even know of this world artificial intelligence?”.
“Don’t fear child, one day you will learn why, why everything you touch turns ablaze. Why everything you love fades away eventually.” A voice speaks, like light shinning at the end of a dark tunnel. Not being able to think straight, mind caught in a haze. Blinded by self hatred enraged trying to find ones self through a gaze. To distracted to really understand the voice.
Eyes onyx colored piercing through the very soul. Broken angel wings, meant to fly back to there place above. The voice repeats calmly, soothingly “You aren’t meant to be among the mortals their lives are short and full of tragedy. Where their life spans are short. Your heart and mind are pure, these mortals simply chortle as they loose all morals, I'm sure, your not meant to be here, to long here you will loose all sense. They will break you to your very core without a second thought or mercy” Images of smeared blood, permanent scars, lawlessness wounds.
“I feel I'm caught in a spider web waiting for the spider to come home, it will Feed by draining my soul
I cant be myself with my own blood, they think I'm too much. That's what bought the flood, swept away everything humane” The child explains as she walks through silent walls, once been classy. Looking through open windows, shattered glass. Remembering how people come and go in a flash, happiness never lasts its fanned.
“Its all fake simply a mirage you all fail to notice. Wait for your mind to focus, then you will see the tragedy of this world of this life from the strife to every swift cut of the knife all that's loved and lost nothing about meant to thrive here. Let alone survive enjoy the dimension you've escaped into while it lasts. When it fades you will see things like me, alas!” The child says exasperated pleading the voice once more as it remains silent. “Theirs no escaping this, all is lost.” The child’s voice dies and she to retires into silence.“Nothing is permanent, and theirs always a remedy a treatment. No problem, no controversy last forever theirs always a solution, with an achievement. Learn from your mistakes, its always a give or take. Take charge of your life, do things for you, because you want to. Your the artist, skins your paper. Your the sadist, fans are your creator, your goal to inspire righteous vindicators. With the gun in your hand, skins your target, pierce the heart. Make sure you make it so they cant forget.” The child ponders, in her wondering mind. 'Life’s what you make it' passes her mind as well. Snapping back into reality, she realizes what she must do, finality.“When your left with your wondering thoughts to ponder. These things you already know, you must come to understand the woe. When realization hits you, that’s when you accept and move on.” Smiling to herself, silently thanking the voice. A story that one tells, to release tension and rejoice.
Impressum
Texte: Lace Reyes
Tag der Veröffentlichung: 09.06.2012
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