Chapter 1

'Pant' 'pant' I have been running in this dark forest for what seem like a long time. The moon is the only light that I have to guide me through the forest. Sweat is dripping from my forehead, stinging the cuts I have from me falling repeatedly. "Iris, come back! I'm sorry. I won't put my hands on you ever again. Please come back , we can work things out." yelled out the voice of the man I despise and hate. There goes the same line he uses every time he hits me. This time I'm not listening to his crap. I am so tired of his lies. I'm looking around in the dark forest.

I stop for a minute behind a tree to catch my breath. “I've got to get away from this man” I said to myself looking around the forest. There was a time that I loved this man with my whole heart .But after he start drinking and beating on me constantly for no reason, I knew I had to get away. My mother and sister keep telling me to get away from Bill, but of course at the time, I wanted to stay and help Bill with his problems. Bill has lost his job and I knew he needed me.

But a day like today was the last straw. Bill got home earlier today. He spent today looking for a job. I could tell Bill was drunk. I could smell the alcohol on his breath. Today was our 7 year anniversary so I had my hair braided and put in a bun and I was wearing the blue platted dress that he loved so much. I also fixed Bill’s favorite meal. Fried pork chops, mashed potatoes smothered with gravy and green beans with roasted almonds. Also I made his favorite dessert, sweet potato pie. He came stumbling in the house. I could tell this was one of his bad days. He went toward the table and start eating. He didn’t say hi or anything. He told me to sit down and eat but I already ate. He start looking mad as hell.

“When I tell you to eat, I mean eat. This isn’t no conversation. I didn’t ask for an answer.” He then start laughing and got a slice a pie and told me to eat it. “No Bill. Stop, you drunk." Bill grin went away and he grabbed me so hard, I felt his grip on my bone. I knew I was going to have a bruise afterward. Bill start shaking me and yelling at me. Everything he said to me hurt. He called me useless and trash. I tried to hold back the tears as I thought back to that moment. Hearing everything Bill said made me wonder if there was ever a time that Bill loved me. What about the sweet, soft words he said at our wedding, was those words ever real? The pain and sorrow in my heart turned into pure anger and hatred that I looked up into Bill's blood shot eyes and kneed him in his shin. He yelled and fell on the floor. He cussed me out but I just ran to the kitchen and grabbed a knife and ran out of the house. We lived in a cabin near the forest and I knew there was a road on the other side so I start running.

Before I got to the trees, Bill tackled me. He start strangling me but I grabbed a rock beside me and bashed him in the head with it. I pushed Bill off of me and start running. I didn't bother looking back to see if he was alive or dead, even though I knew he was alive.

Now, here I am, behind a tree, trying to hide from my crazy husband. Out of nowhere , Bill is in front of me. Blood mixed with sweat is running down his face from the gash in his head. Now he's found me and he look mad as hell. He looked very grotesque with that creepy grin on his face. Bill starts laughing then his smile goes away and he started looking concerned.

"Baby, why did you run away. You know I love you." Bill tried to touch my face but I moved my face. "How can you say that after all the years I put up with your bullshit and you abusing me. I hate you, you bastard." Right after I said that with pure venom in my voice, Bill slapped me so hard that it felt like my face was coming off. I start tasting the salty, metallic taste of blood on my lip. I looked at that man with pure hatred.

"You don't mean that. You still love me. I know it. If you say that again, you will regret it. You will get something worse than a slap on the face." Bill now has his hands around my neck, squeezing. Now he looks real mad. What he don't know is that I have the knife still in my hand. I can't breathe. "Go to hell." I said in barely a whisper. That is when I took out the knife and stabbed him. Bill let go of my neck and grabbed his leg, trying to get the knife out. He start yelling and saying every cuss word there is. He tried to grab for me but I moved and kicked him. I start grabbing my neck, trying to catch my breath.

That is when I ran. I ran as if my life depended on it. I stopped when I found a river. I knew there would be a road on the other side. Not even thinking about anything, I jumped into the cold, icy river. I heard screaming. "This is not over Iris. I will find you. You can never get away from me." I ignored Bill and kept swimming to safety and to my new beginning. But Bill's words kept replaying in my head.

Chapter 2

Two years later...

"Shit." The day can't get any worse. I woke up late because my dumb alarm clock went off late. So with that I had to take a quick shower and I always love taking long showers. What made the situation worse was that Erin used all the hot water so I had to take a cold shower. I do appreciate my sister for letting me stay with her, but still, she can accept the fact that she not the only one here. Now, here I am, bumping into the coffee table, hurting my foot. My foot is throbbing with pain. Next thing I know, Erin comes out of her room , looking at me with concern. Since Erin and I are twins, we look alike. We both have long, golden brown hair and smooth, clear, honey colored skin. The only difference is that Erin is thinner than me, and I am more shapely.

"Are you okay, Iris? I heard a thump and I thought you were in trouble. And what have I told you about using that kind of language in my house. You know since I am a Christian now, I don't use profanity." Oh gosh. There goes Erin with all that holy stuff. Sometime she can go so over board with it. I have to admit, I am a Christian, but I don't do all that stuff. At least she's is looking out for me. Ever since I left my crazy and abusive husband and took a bus to her house, she gladly took me in, letting me stay until I get a place of my own. The only thing I hate is how Erin is treating me like some kid just because she is the oldest by 7 minutes.

"Thanks for checking on me but you can calm down. I only hurt my foot. Bill didn't come out of nowhere and tried to kill me." Erin relaxed. I had to admit though, I would be so scared too. Seeing Bill after two years. Just thinking about Bill sends chills down my spine. I'm hoping that Bill gave up on me and forgot about me, but knowing Bill, he will never give up on finding me. When he do, that will be the last moment I have on Earth. Bill is even crazy enough to hurt my sister too. Or worse. That is when Bill words start floating through my head "This is not over Iris. I will find you. You can never get away from me.", repeating over and over again.

Guessing that Erin saw the discomfort on my face, she start looking concerned again. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean for you to get all upset."
"It's okay. I am the one who brought up Bill. It is not your fault." Erin started looking mad.
"I could kill that bastard for what he did to you. Oops, I didn't mean to say that." I looked at my sister with shock. Erin let the protective side of her come out, causing her to go out her beliefs. I guess she wasn't all that saved after all.

"I have to go or I'll be late for work. I'll buy my breakfast on the way." I went to the closet and put on my coat.
"Yeah. While you're gone I need to pray to ask for forgiveness for I have sinned." Erin went back to her room and shut the door. Then I hears some soft gospel music coming from her room. I knew she would be in there a while.

I left out of the apartment and went down the stairs and straight outside. Now I'm in the middle of the busy big apple, New York. It is freezing outside. The cold air start nipping at my cheeks. I took out my gloves and rubbed my hands together. Even though it was freezing outside, I loved New York. I love the lights and the big buildings. I stopped by the Starbucks next to the building I work at and got me a mocha chocolate latte, my favorite coffee drink.

I work as the secretary of a fashion industry for Saks. I'm not going to say that I love my job and my boss, but I love the clothes. I was lucky enough to find this job because almost every job I tried getting, they all turned me down. I walk into the building, and of course, as usual, the place was running like rush hour. The phones were ringing constantly. Everyone was rushing to get to a meeting they were suppose to be at 5 minutes ago. That reminded me, I'm about to be late for work. My boss will kill me.

The one thing I hate about this job was my boss, Vickie. She is so mean and grouchy. When I'm late, she always give me a 15 minute lecture about how me being late affects her. As soon as I get to Vickie's office, Vickie looked pissed. Her face is as red as a beet it looks like she couldn't breathe. I could see that her veins was popping out so far out, it look like they was about to pop. I knew I was about to hear a 30 minute lecture by the way Vickie looked.

"Where the hell have you been. You are..." She looks at her watch. "You are exactly 1 minute late. Do you now time is money? I'm suppose to be at a meeting in a couple of minutes and you just taking your time getting to work, not thinking about me. Remember, I write your paycheck."

Vickie kept running her mouth. That heifer gets on my nerves. She says she will be late for a meeting but she still running her mouth. Also, she is going to get on me because I am only a minute late. She lucky I came to work at all because no one likes her. I just want to grab her by her hair and smack her just to shut her up. But of course, I can't do that or I'll get fired. So I'll just have to deal with her. Like she said, she is writing my paycheck.

Vickie finally stops yapping at the mouth and told me to get her water. As soon as she got her water, she went to the meeting. Even though I'm relieved that she is gone, I know I will still have to put up with her until I get off from work.

I sat at my desk and went straight to work. I knew if I didn't get this work done, Vickie would get on my case. I just finished one pile of work and a man came into the office. He must have been new in the mail room because this is the first time I seen him delivering here before. The man was FINE. I mean real fine. Fine enough for you to want to drink his bath water. He was tall and muscular. Since his shirt was baggy, it showed some of his muscles. I just want to put my mouth right there. I could tell he exercised every morning. He had a strong jaw and bone structure in his face with the dark shadow of an after shave. He had beautiful hazel colored eyes that seem like they can look straight through you. He had skin the color of buttermilk and it looked like his skin was just as smooth. And his lips. Oh his lips. They look so firm, yet soft that made me want to know what they feel like against mine.

That is when I snapped out of it. What am I doing. I vowed to myself that I will never trust or love another man again. For all I know, my relationships might end up as bad as my relationship with Bill. I don't want to fall in love again and get my heart broken into million of pieces all over again. Besides, men are probably all the same, cold and heartless. Probably not caring for no one but themselves.

The man started looking lost and started to look around. Once his eyes stopped on me, he walked toward me. "Oh shit." I start getting all jittery and nervous. It felt like my throat was closing up and I couldn't breathe. Oh gosh he look so handsome. What am I going to say? I looked in my compact mirror to make sure I didn't have anything in my teeth. That is when it clicked. Why am I getting so worked up over this man? I mean, he just a man.

The man gets to me and gives me a smile, showing his pearly whites.
"Excuse me, but I'm looking for Miss Vickie Graham. I have a package for her." Oh gosh. His voice is so deep and sexy. Then I stopped and controlled myself.
"Umm, Vickie is at a meeting right now but I can sign off for her" He agreed and he handed me the pad and I signed off for her. Once I handed him the pad back, our hands brushed against each other. I pulled back quick with shock. I knew that he felt the same thing I felt. There was a quick shock, like electricity that went on when our hands touched. I looked up from my hand and saw that he was staring at me. What I saw in his eyes I never saw it in Bill eyes. It was like he was looking deep into my soul. I start feeling warm all over. But I also felt confused and awkward because I didn't know why I was feeling all these mixed emotions and feelings for a man I know nothing about.

We must have been staring at each other for forever then I cleared my throat trying to get out of this awkward feeling.
"Umm, well thank you for dropping this package off," I look at his name tag on his shirt "Mr. John. I will make sure Vickie gets this as soon as possible." I looked down trying not to look at his face.
"You can just call me John. Umm, I better leave and get back to work. Well, I hope I see you around soon." John looked like a nervous wreck. He looked just how I felt, awkward. I almost shook his hand but stopped because I was afraid those feelings would come back.

After John left, I started feeling very confused. What was that I was feeling earlier? Did John feel them too so that is why he got out of here so fast? I knew I had to get over this, though because I am not about to get hurt again. Also if he knew my crazy ex husband was looking for me, he'll probably stay away. Beside, It's not like I will see him again. Or will I?

Chapter 3

"Iris! Iris, didn't you hear me calling you. I have been standing here for 5 minutes trying to get you to snap out of your little moment." I didn't even know I was dazed. I don't know why but ever since last week, I couldn't get my mind off of John. I keep thinking of the moment we shared. I tried taking my mind off of him, but it seem like it never works. I still have the feeling of him touching my hands. The electrical heat that spreaded over me that made me feel all warm. I just can't forget about John. Well, ever since last week, I have not seen him. He probably realized it wouldn't be smart for him to come back.

After I snapped out of my deep thought, I see Vickie snapping her fingers in front of me. She look annoyed.

"Are you okay Iris because if you are, I'm getting tired of you ignoring me. I said can you drop off this letter at the mailroom. I need this mailed, pronto."
Vickie hands me the letter. Right then I remembered that John works at the mailroom. I start getting nervous.
"Umm, Vickie, I can't take this down for you. I I..."
"Are your legs broken?"
I shake my head no.
"Are you paralyzed in your legs."
I shake my head no.
"Then get your ass down to the mailroom and give them this letter before they leave to deliver. You forgot that you work for me so when I tell you to do something, I mean do it."
Vickie start to look pissed so I hurried out of her office and went down to the mailroom before her head explodes.

While walking toward the slot for where you drop off your mail, I was also trying to watch out for John. I was afraid I was going to run into him on the way to the mailroom. So far I don't see him, so I'm guessing he is running errands. I don't know what I would do if I would run into him. What would I do though? Would I just run away? Or will I stay?

As soon as I put the letter in the slot, I turned around and John is standing right behind me. I started to scream but John covered my mouth and dragged me out of the mailroom. Oh here I go again. Why do I always end up with the abusive guys. What would he do to me? Will he beat me until I shut up? Or worse. Will he try to get his way with me? My eyes widened with shock. Oh hell no. I'm not going down like that again. I start kicking and hitting him, trying to get him to let go.

Once we got outside the mailroom to the stairwell, John let me go. I was so pissed that he would even put his hands on me.
"What the hell was that? You dragging me out of there like you kidnapping me."
"Sorry, it just you was about to scream and I didn't want you to disturb no one." He looked sorry, but I was still mad.
"Of course I'm going to scream if I turn around and see a man behind me. For all I know, you could have tried to take advantage of me. I took self defense classes so I know how to defend myself."
He look like he was about to laugh, but he held it in.
"I said sorry, okay. I didn't mean to startle you. It's just when I saw you in the mailroom, it look like you was hiding from somebody so I just wanted to see if you were okay."

"I was hiding from you." but I didn't say that. This argument is stupid anyway. The man did say he was sorry, even though, that is what Bill always said when he beat me. It was so quiet. I look up and see that John was looking at me. First he was checking me out, his eyes looking all over me. Then his eyes stop at my eyes. Oh gosh was the only words on my mind. His hazel eyes were now dark with hunger and passion. I had to get him to stop.
"You perv." I tried to slap him but he stopped me by grabbing my hand in midair then put it down.

I was so shocked that he just did that. That touch had send the same shock of electricity I felt before. I start feeling all warm inside. I looked up and saw that he must have felt it to. He was looking at his big strong hands then looked up at me. I tried to get out of the staircase, but John was in front of the door.
"Umm, I have to get back to work or Vickie will be looking for me."
As soon as I said that, John kissed me. His lips were so warm. He then grabbed my waist and pulled me closer. I wanted John to stop, but I also wanted him to keep going too. I wrapped my hands around his neck and kissed him back, passionately.

Heat was running all over my body at his touch. John then put his tongue against my lips, begging for entrance. Once I opened my mouth, his tongue went straight in. I let out a moan. Oh gosh, I didn't mean to do that. That was so embarrassing. Our tongues was moving with rythm, going in and out and all around. John then backed me against the wall and put my legs around his waist. I knew this was wrong but it felt so good.

We then stopped kissing and he looked me in my eyes. They were so filled with passion and I bet my eyes were too. He then start kissing me and he trailed it to my neck. Oh gosh, that felt so good. I want John so badly. I bit my lip, trying to keep myself from moaning. That is when my sense was coming in. What the hell am I doing. This is wrong. I can't be with this man. It would only cause more problems than before.
"John, John. put me down, I can't do this."
"You wasn't enjoying it?" He looked so confused. He just don't get it.
"I did it just..." I couldn't talk anymore. I had to get out of there before I cry in front of this man. So I just ran out of the staircase. That is when the tears start coming out. How could I have been so stupid, almost giving myself to the man. I don't even know anything about John.

As soon As I got back to the office, Vickie looked pissed.
"Where have you been? I sent you down there 30 minutes ago. Never mind, just get back to work." She then stormed to her office. I didn't realize I was gone for so long.

As I was working, flashes of what happened between me and John kept coming in my mind. I could still feel his warm and tender lips on mine. When we kissed, It felt like I was alive again. There was so much excitement in it too. I don't know what would have happened if we were to continue. Would we do it? I know one thing is for sure. I can't let that happen ever again because if I do, my heart might get broken. Besides, I don't want to pull anyone into my messy life.

"Iris!" Vickie was standing in front of her office door. She told me to come here. Oh gosh. I wish this woman can lose her voice because she is getting on my last nerves. I got up and went to see what that woman wanted.

Chapter 4

"I'm so tired." I said to myself as I entered the apartment. I am so stressed from having to hear Vickie's voice all day. I can't wait until I find another decent job so I can get away from Vickie. Vickie really need to get laid so that she can calm down and get off my back.

Also my mind was still on the hot, steamy moment John and I shared in the stairwell. I remember how he held me tightly, yet gently, against his hard body. I start feeling myself heat up and shudder as I remembered. What is wrong with me? I'm kissing a complete stranger. Things are just going out of control.

I need someone to talk to about my problems. Someone I can trust. I looked in Erin's room, hoping I can talk to her. Erin and I used to be able to talk about anything, until I married Bill and I had to isolate from my family. I know if I tell Erin my situation, she would probably be displeased that I'm making out with a stranger, but she would understand. Erin wasn't always a Christian. She still has some bad in her.

I was disappointed when I saw that Erin wasn't there. Shoot. I forgot that today was Wednesday so Erin got saved, she has been spending most of her of her time at church. Now, don't get me wrong. I go to church every Sunday. Erin, on the other hand, go to church every time it opens, when she has the time. Also Erin is on almost all of the committees at the church. Sometimes Erin does too much.

I decided to take a nice, hot shower to take away the stress and tension I have. While in the shower, I start feel my stress going away. That is when I heard my cell phone beeping. As soon as I got out of the shower, I saw I had a call from an unknown number. I wonder who that could be. Then the signal that shows I have a voicemail showed up. I didn't bother hearing it so I just deleted it. The person probably has the wrong number.

As I was getting ready for bed, I stopped because I just thought of something. What if that was Bill calling me? I felt a chill go down my spine. I felt myself tensing up again. No, it can't be. Before I left Bill, he knew me and Erin despise each other so how would he know that I'm with my sister? Also I changed my number and phone so Bill couldn't find me. Now my nightmare has come true, Bill found me. After two years, he finally found me. What if he got Erin right now? What if he hurt her? That is when I snapped out of it. I start convincing myself that it was just some one who had the wrong number who had called me. The more I convince myself, the more I started to calm down.

After I have relaxed, I got in bed and tried to fall asleep but I couldn't. All I could think of was the call. What if it was Bill who call? My life would be falling apart then. I am so scared. After I was getting my life back in order, this happen. Now my past is coming back to haunt me. All I know is that I need to calm down. After a few minutes, I went straight to sleep. That is when my daily nightmare came.

Chapter 5

"Where am I? I start looking around. I remember this this place. This is the forest near my home. My old home, I mean, since I ran away from it and my marriage with Bill. What am I doing here though?
"Iris." That voice sounds so familiar. I turn toward where the voice came from. It is not as dark as it was the night I ran away, so I can see things better. When I turned, there he was. What John doing here? I reached out for him to make sure he was real. He put up his hand too and we held hands. I looked up at him and smiled. He smiled at me. I love his smile. When he smiled, I felt myself get warm all over. John then held me close. It was like I belong there. John then said something but I couldn't hear him. When I looked up at him, chills started to run down my back. I then start to back away. This can't be. No, this just can't be. The person I was hugging was not John. At least not anymore. This dream has turned into a nightmare.

Standing in John's place was Bill. He had this evil grin on his face. His face was caked with dried blood, just like the night I ran away from him. Bill then start walking toward me, but I was still was still backing away. Bill kept coming closer and he started laughing. That is when I tripped over a rock and fell to the ground. Bill towered over me with a serious look on his face.
"I told you I would find you." He then pointed a gun at me.
this is the end. My life is now over.
"No!" I screamed but after that, he shot me. All I saw was pure darkness.

That is when I woke up. It was all just a dream. My heart was beating against my chest like a drum. My head was throbbing from a headache. I felt my chest where Bill had shot me. I didn’t feel anything so I knew I was just dreaming. Next thing I know, I looked beside me and jumped when I see that Erin is there looking at me concerned. I almost screamed but stopped myself when I saw that it was just Erin.

“Girl, are you okay. I could hear you all the way from my room screaming , ‘No…No…’ like someone was going to kill you.” I started to cry. I can’t do this anymore. I’m tired of all these horrible nightmares I have been having. I want to be able to live my life without me living it in fear. I can’t keep living this way.

Erin saw me crying and hugged me.
“What’s wrong, Iris? You know you can tell me anything.” I might as well tell her because I need to tell somebody.
“Well, first today was so horrible at work.” I told Erin everything that happened today at work. I told Erin about what happened between me and John and the kiss we shared. That is when Erin start to look confused.
“Wait, hold up. Who is John. I didn’t know you had a boyfriend.”
“John is not my boyfriend. He is just a guy who work in the mailroom at my job.”
Erin still looked confused. Man. Sometimes Erin can be so slow sometimes. I then told Erin about the feelings I was feeling when out hands touched. Erin finally got it.
“So, you saying that you made out with a guy you barely know, a guy you only saw once last week, in a stairwell. That sound romantic and all, but I don’t see that as a reason why you were crying.”
“I know. I’m about to tell you the rest.” I told Erin about the phone call I got and how I think it might have been Bill. Then I told her about my dream. Erin sat there , then she burst out laughing. No she didn’t. I might be in trouble and she is laughing. I am mad as hell. What the hell. I never expected that response.
“I’m sorry Iris but don’t you think you are overreacting. I mean, that person who called you could have been somebody who had the wrong number. Also, that nightmare don’t mean anything. It is just a dream. You know dreams would sometimes not even happen. What you need to do is to get some sleep so I can sleep too.” Erin then left and was laughing while going to her room.
“You are so funny Iris.” I heard Erin say from her room. Erin sometimes get on my last nerves.

As I was trying to go back to sleep, I start to think about what Erin said. Maybe I am overreacting. Maybe I do need to try to let this go. I mean, it is just a dream. All I need to do is relax and let go of this. It will take some time, but I will soon let go. I look at my clock to see what time it was. It is 3 o’ clock in the morning. I need to get myself energized for another stressing day at work tomorrow. When I yawned, I turned on my side and went to sleep. All I dreamt was good dreams for the rest of the night.

Chapter 6

Ever since Wednesday, John have been avoiding me. When ever we passed by each other, he wouldn’t even look at me. Not even glance at me or say hi or nothing. Also when he would by the office to deliver mail, he would just say hey, deliver, and then leave. It was like he was ignoring me. It’s not like I’m mad that he ignoring me or anything, but he can at least act like I actually exist. He probably finally see how crazy I am from the way I ran away crying after we kissed. He probably think I am weird and needs help.

That is when I snapped out of it. What is wrong with me? Why do I care that John is ignoring me? Isn’t this what I wanted, to not to be caught up with a man? Then why do I feel so mad at him?
Why am I having these feeling? I want the feelings to go away but at the same time I want them to stay. All I know is that these feelings need to go away or I might get hurt. Besides, John may not feel the same way about me.

The week is finally over and that mean I can finally relax for the weekend. I don't have to think about Bill, Vickie, John or anything else for the matter. I can just rest. But I was wrong. On Saturday, Erin had to run some errands for the church so she asked me to go grocery shopping. Erin is always asking me to do things. She is really working on my nerves.
"Why can't you go grocery shopping after you run your errands. I just left from work yesterday having to do things for Vickie. Now I have to Do things for you. I want to relax, not feel like I'm back at work again."
"Please, Iris. I will do anything for you if you go. Besides, this is your home too since you paying half of the rent. If I don't have food, you don't have food." Erin then gave me the sad puppy eyes look. Man, I hate when she do that. Besides, she did have a point there. This is my place too.
"Oh fine. You lucky I love you. You owe me." After I said that, Erin looked so happy. She start jumping up and down like some 5 year old. She then hugged me so tight.
"Thank you so much, Iris. You the best sister I ever had."
"I'm the only sister you have. Now can you let go of me. I can't breathe." I said in barely a whisper. Erin is so strong, It's like she on steroids or something.

I put on my coat and purse and keys and left out of the apartment. It wasn't as chilly as it was yesterday. I caught a cab to the store because it wasn't in walking distant. I can't wait until I get myself a car because I hate riding a cab. Most of the cab driver are rude or I can't understand their thick accent, or they can't speak English at all. Right now, I am saving money so I can get myself a car. I'm almost there to buy myself a car.

Once I got to the bus station, the cab driver automatically stuck out his hand for the money. Cussing him out from under my breath, I paid him my fee and got out and went in the grocery store. I start looking for the items that Erin had on her grocery list. Man, Erin don't even need most of the stuff on this grocery list. What would she need with lamb when she on a fast at church and I definitely don't even eat lamb.

As I finally left the store from buying all the items Erin needed, I bumped into someone.
"Hey, watch where you.." I stopped when I saw that it was John. He was with a woman. She look so pretty with her auburn hair and brown eyes. No wonder he was ignoring me. He finally found a girl he can get some from when he couldn't get any from me. Or, he was probably with this woman when he kissed me.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to bump into... Oh, hey Iris." We stood there for a while, looking at each other until the girl beside John cleared her voice.
"Oh, um Iris, this is Yasmine. Yasmine, this is Iris. We work in the same building together."
Yasmine smiled at me. I had to make myself smile.
"So, how are you doing Iris?" John had the nerve to ask me that. Why am I getting so worked up over him with being with some one else? I can't stand here though and watch this anymore.
"Um, I can't do this. I have to go. Nice to see you John." That is when I ran. Once I was a block from the store. I stopped. Then I touched my face and felt it was wet. I didn't know I was crying. Man, I hate myself. I hate that I'm having such strong feelings for this man I don't know. Why am I so angry? I wiped my face with a piece of tissue I found in my purse.

"Iris, why... did you... run away like that? You keep... running away." I turned around to see John trying to catch his breath. He actually chased after me?
"Don't worry about me. Don't you need to go back to your girlfriend? I bet she is worrying about you."
That is when he straightened up. He looked confused. "You mean Yasmine?"
"Yeah, who else was I talking about." That is when he start laughing. What is he laughing at?
"Sorry, it's just funny that you think Yasmine is my girlfriend. Yasmine is not my girlfriend. She's my sister." I felt so stupid and humiliated. Now John probably now think I’m crazy. I felt myself blush of embarrassment so I looked down.
"I'm sorry. I didn't know. It's just look like you guys were a couple so I automatically thought you guys were a couple. Y'all were so close..." before I could finish, John interrupted me.
"Wait up, Yasmine and I are just real close." Then this grin formed on his face.
"You were jealous. That is why you ran away."
“No I wasn’t. I just have to go somewhere.”
“Then why does it look like you were crying?”
“I wasn’t crying. I just had something in my eye. Can you just let this go?” I was hoping that John would go away but he still stood there, looking at me.
“Iris, you know we are not together, right? I mean, you have nothing to be jealous about. All we did was kiss. We barely know each other.” As he was saying this, he was coming closer. My heart was pounding against my chest. I wanted to get close to John too but I stopped myself.
“Then why did you come after me, if you don‘t care?” John just kept quiet.
“Well, thanks for looking after me. I am okay. I have to leave now. My sister is probably waiting for me.” When I turned to the streets to call a cab, John stopped me.
“I can drive you home.” Was he trying to make things harder for me. This was such a bad idea. I’m already having a hard time being around him for a short period of time, now I have to ride in the same car as him.
“Um, no thank you. I can get myself home. I can take care of myself. Thanks for the offer though.”
“I insist.” John waited for my response. I know if I say no, he will keep asking so I know I had to give up.
“Okay, I guess it is okay for you to drive me home.”
“Well, my car is still at the grocery store since I chased you.”

We walked back to the grocery store in silence. I felt so uncomfortable standing next to John. Sometimes, we would brush shoulders and that electricity would come. Once we got to the car, I told him my address and he drove to my place. It was so quiet on the drive home. I sat, turned toward the door, looking outside at the sites. John’s voice then startled me.”
“Why do you seem so distant or you seem like you hiding something or hiding from someone?”
“Is it that obvious. It’s a long story really”
“I have time.” Why does he want to know my business.
“I don’t feel like talking about it.”
“Oh, okay.” After that, it was quiet again.

Once we got to my place. I got out of the car and I t the groceries. John got out of the car. What is he doing? I guess he is going to watch me as I go into my house. I went up the stairs to the apartment. Since Erin and I was on the fourth floor, my legs was hurting. I turned around and saw that John followed me in the building.
“Well, thanks for the ride. You can go now that you see that I made it safely to my apartment.”
“Iris, there is something I have to say…” His eyes were dark with passion and hunger. I swallowed hard. Before I let him go any further, I stopped him.
“John, I can’t.” John was moving closer and closer to me. I knew I should have said no. Once John backed me against the door of the apartment, he trapped me and look down into my eyes. My voice was trapped into my throat. Man, he is so handsome. John leaned forward and kissed me softly. When our lips brushed against each other, I felt myself heat up. Then he let out a soft growl and kissed me harder this time with hunger. Oh hell, I give up. I kissed John back. Oh and it felt so good. It felt like I was floating on a cloud. His tongue soon begged for entrance and I gave it just that. I moaned when John traveled the kisses down to my neck. I need him right now. I parted from him and opened the door. I then turned back around and start kissing him.
“You sure about this?” John said on between our kisses.
“Yes, I’m sure. it’s fine.” I start kissing him again. After a few more kisses, he pulled back again.
“What?” I said impatiently.
“What about your sister? What happen if she see us?” Man he is full of questions.
“She won’t be home until later. Now come on.”

When we kept kissing, it became hotter and hotter. All of my emotions was going out of control. I was feeling nervous and excited at the same time. My heart was beating so fast it was like I was about to die. The urges I had for John kept getting stronger. These clothes was not helping it either. I start trying to yank off his shirt. Since he had on a sweater, it was hard for me to take it off. Once John saw that I was struggling, he took off the sweater for me. Oh my god, his body look like some sexy god, nicely sculpted with muscle. I touched his chest, feeling that his heart was beating fast too. John took my hand and kissed every fingertip while looking at me. He then kissed me on the mouth. We start kissing again and backed me against the table. John then pushed everything off the crowded table and picked me up and put me on the table. He wrapped my legs around waist. I felt something bulging in his pants. Oh wow. John start unbuttoning my shirt. While doing so, he was kissing me. I start feeling self conscious. You see, my breasts are big and guess what? I hate them. I almost myself in getting a breast reduction but my mother told me I should love my body, no matter what it look like so I just kept them the way it is.

Once John took off my shirt all the way, he stared. I closed my eyes so I wouldn't have to see his reaction. Oh gosh, I feel so embarrassed. I'm wondering what John thinking. I opened my eyes, finding out he was looking at me.
"You're beautiful. You know that?" He then start kissing me and his kisses trailed down my neck. I bit my lip to keep myself from moaning. Then John kisses were going lower. Oh gosh, what is he doing to me? I need to get some control. I jumped off the table and pushed him toward my room. He was smiling as I was taking control. When we got to the hallway, I pushed him against one of the walls. I start kissing him, but he pushed me against the other wall, trapping me with his arms. I surrendered when he kissed me deeply and he carried me the rest of the way to my room. When he dropped me on the bed, he start unbuckling his belt while looking at me. His eyes was so dark with passion it almost scared me. Bill never looked at me like that when we made love. John was different from Bill in many ways.

When he took off his pants and underwear, I was awed. Right in front of me was a big hard erection. Man, I didn't know I had such an effect on him since it never happened with Bill. The only times Bill and I made love was when he felt like it and that barely happened. But for real, John's manhood is so big I was starting to get nervous. I guess John saw how nervous I was.
“If you don’t want to do this, I’ll leave.” John said as he sat beside me on the bed.
“No, I want to.”
I kissed him and he laid me down on the bed.
It felt good having John’s hard body against me. John then slid my underwear down. He unfastened my bra and took it off. John start kissing me everywhere starting from my mouth and down. It was so unbearable. I wanted John inside me now. Once he got to my womanhood, he stuck his tongue inside. That is when I lost it. I dug my nails into his shoulders, trying to keep myself calm. I knew I was drenching wet. Once John got back up, he kissed me deeply. I felt his hardness on my womanhood. I gave him a condom I had in my drawer and he put it on. I always make sure I’m safe. That is when it made its entrance. John filled me up. He then pulled out and put it back in. next thing I know, we were moving with a rhythm and it felt so good. John made sure he wasn’t squishing me. When we both climaxed, I screamed his name. It felt like I just died and went straight to heaven. John was shuddering until he was finished. John then kissed me and collapsed beside me. I laid on his hard chest. That was wonderful. I could hear John’s heart beating rapidly.
“Wow.” was all he said. I bet he was as amazed as I was.
“Why you said it like that?”
“To tell the truth, this was the best sex I had.” John kissed me on my head and running his fingers in my hair. I rolled on top of him and looking in his eyes. He looked like he was deep in thought.
"What you thinking about?
"I'm thinking about what is going to happen from here."
"I don't know. I'm just going to let the future lead me." I kissed him, then sat up and got out of bed. I put on my robe and went to the living room. John and I have left a mess. Our clothes are everywhere. Things was on the floor and pictures that used to be on the walls were on the floor or crooked on the walls from us bumping against the walls. I grabbed John's clothes, some were ripped a little, and I headed to my room.

Once I got back to the room, he was looking at the door like he was waiting for me.
"Um, here is your clothes. While you getting dressed, I'll fixed something to eat. Some of your shirt is kind of ripped."
I left out of the room so he can get dressed. I cleaned up everything in the living room. I put everything back on the table, straightening it out again and I took the grocery bags in the apartment. When everything seemed in order, I went to the kitchen to see what there was to cook. Erin was lucky because since she did not know nothing about cooking and I was an expert, I did all the cooking, and I was an expert, I did all the cooking around here. I saw some chicken breast and zuchini in the fridge so I decided to make baked chicken with steamed zuchini. I know there is rice so I'll make it with the meal. Just when I start cutting up the zuchini, John came out of my room fully dressed. I already had the chicken in the oven and the rice cooking so the kitchen had a nice aroma to it.
"Mm, what's that smell." John came into the kitchen to see what I was cooking. I told him the menu for today. He looked impressed.

When the zuchini was cooking, I turned to see John sitting in a chair, watching me. I gulped and cleared my throat.
"I hope you hungry because dinner will be done shortly." John got up from the chair he was sitting on and went to me. Now he is standing in front of me. He start rubbing my arm, sending goose bumps on them. I knew exactly what he was thinking.
"Yeah, I'm hungry but not for food." John then kissed me hungrily.
"No John, we can't. We're in the kitchen and the food..." I said in between kisses. John lifted me on the table, holding my hips. We start making out and things was getting heated. John dragged me closer to his body. Next thing I know, I hear jingling on the other side of the door. Shit, Erin's home. I push John away from me and I jumped off the counter.
"Act normal like nothing happened. Erin can see right through you so don't look into her eyes." I whispered as I pushed him out of the kitchen.

When Erin walked into the door, she looked at John, looking confused.
"Umm, who are you and what are you doing here?" Erin start going to the closet to get her bat. Man, Erin is crazy. John looked at me, panicked.
"No Erin. This is John, the man at my job who I was talking about. He was at the grocery store so he dropped me off at home. He staying for dinner." I said as I walked out of the kitchen.
"Oh." Erin start to relax.
"No, Iris. I won't be able to stay. I have to leave and spend more time with my sister because she would be leaving soon." I feel so embaressed of what Erin almost did. Now John wants to leave.
"Okay, I'll walk you out." John said bye to Erin and left out. When we got outside the door, John turned to me and touched my cheek.
"Sorry I had to leave. I didn't want to make things difficult and awkward. Well, I had a good time. I was wondering,..." I stopped him. Man, I knew I shouldn't have done this. It is so hard.
"John...I don't know." He tried saying something but he hesitated.
"Well, see you at work." John kissed me, then he turned and left. Some part of me wanted John to stay and kiss me longer but I knew that this was for best. Man, I hate myself. Why am I having these strong feelings for John already. I felt my lips. I could still feel John's lips on mine.

I walked into the apartment and found Erin behind the door.
"Erin, you are one nosy son of a bitch. Sorry." I said as I noticed that I just cussed.
"I know something else happened other than ya'll just sitting around. Spill it, Iris." Man, I Erin is so clever. I'm suprised she didn't become a detective.
"Nothing happened, Erin. Why you in my business anyway." I knew I gave myself up when I start blushing. That is when Erin face lit up.
"No ya'll didn't. Iris, did you guys..." I bit my lip and shook my head.
"OMG Iris, you guys had sex. tell me everything." I told Erin everything that happened today.
"Man, Iris. It sound like ya'll were meant to be today."
"No. Don't even think those crazy thoughts."
"Iris, come on. I know you you. I could tell you already have feelings for John already." That is when I start crying. Erin start looking concerned.
"I'm so sorry. It's just so scary. I'm having feelings for this man I barely know and I'm on the run from my crazy ex husband at the same time.
"Iris, it will be okay. I know you can do this. Just follow your heart and don't be afraid." Erin hugged me like a five year old. I loved the comfort Erin gave me.

After our conversation, Erin and I ate dinner, but Erin didn't eat the chicken because of her fast. After I took a shower, I went to bed. I start getting flashes of when John and I made love. I'm still longing for John. I'm longing for his touch and kisses. I wish I never felt this way because it is so hard. I have a feeling this will never stop.

Chapter 7

It has been two weeks since John and I made love. Sometimes when John comes by the office to drop off mail, he would look at me and that sent shivers down my back. John and I would run into each other at work and just seeing he warms me up. I have to admit, whenever John and I are together, there is some kind of urge in me to go and kiss him. That is why I tried staying away from him. But, this is not the only problem I’m having. I keep getting these mysterious calls. Every time I answer, all I hear is breathing on the line. It creep me out. All I hear is breathing, then they hang up. When I told Erin what keep happening with me, we called the phone company to block the number from my phone. Even though the problem was fixed, I’m still scared. What if that was Bill trying to scare me? I feel cold all over just thinking about it. I don’t know what I would do if Bill find me.

* * *

It is now Friday and I am the last one to leave this hell hole I call a job. I can't wait until the weekend.
"Iris, don't forget to lock up around here. I don't trust nobody. also straighten up in here before you go. I hate this mess." Vickie said before she left.
"You the one that made the mess." I said under my breath.
"What did you say?"
"Oh, nothing. I said nothing." I gave her one of my best smiles, the ones that showed my dimples. Vickie looked at me suspiciously, then she left out.

As I was cleaning around the office, picking up threads and fabrics and scraps of paper, I start hearing footsteps. I start feeling shivers going down my spine. The building was suppose to be empty. Everyone is suppose to be home. The footsteps starting to get louder as it got closer. I grabbed the broom, ready to attack the person who was coming. My heart was beating so hard, I bet this person could hear it. That is when it hit me. What if it is Bill? My hands were trembling as I waited to see who was coming.

John comes around the corner and jumped when he saw the broom in front of me. I start feeling my body getting relaxed. I grabbed my chest to keep myself from having a heart attack.
“What the fuck is wrong with you! I come around the corner and I see you with a broom in your hand, about to attack.” John yelled as he looked at me like I was crazy. Oh, I felt so embarrassed, but I didn’t show it.
“What do you mean what is wrong with me? What the fuck are you doing here? Everyone is suppose to be gone, including you.”
“I knew you were staying and I thought that maybe I can drive you home.”
“Oh no. No. Don’t you remember what happened the last time you drove me home. We almost got caught. Thanks for the offer, but I cannot let that happen again.” John starts walking toward me.
“Why? I enjoyed it and it seem like you enjoyed it too.” I start feeling his breath on my face. I’m starting to feel nervous with him near me. I swallowed.
“I did. It’s just… I can’t give my heart to anyone right now.” I start stuttering.
“What?” John starts looking confused.
“Nothing. Just forget it. I will catch a cab home.”
“All I’m going to do is drive you home. There is no harm to that.” I finally gave up and agreed. As soon as I finished cleaning, we left. Just like the other day, it was quiet. When John reached the street that he was suppose to turn on to get to the apartment but he kept going straight.
“Hey, you said you would only drive me home. Where are we going?” John starts to smile. Oh I hate him. He thinks he’s funny.
“I’m starving and you have to be hungry too so I’m taking you out to dinner.”
“But I didn’t ask you to take me out to dinner.”
“Also I’m doing this because I didn’t stay when you invited me to dinner so I decided to take you out. Besides, you need some time to exercise and relax.”
“Okay, I give up. But, we are only having dinner. Then you are taking me straight home.” A grin crept on John’s face like he was hiding something. I start getting nervous. What exactly did he have in mind after dinner?

We pulled up into this nice restaurant called Jericho’s Place. Once we got inside, I looked around. The place looked so cozy. There were red tablecloths over each table with a candle on each. The band was playing some smooth jazz music. Also the aroma of the food made my mouth water. The place is nice. John must have had this dinner planned and reserved already because as soon as he gave the waiter his name, she guided us right to a table near the front of the restaurant. I felt myself get mad as I saw the waiter checking John out. Why do I care anyway? It’s not like we’re dating.
“Iris, are you okay?”
“Oh, yeah I’m fine alright.”
“O-kay. So, all I know about you is your name. What else should I know about you?”
“Well, there is nothing much to know about me. I’m 27 years old, I recently moved here two years ago, my favorite color is blue, I love to draw, and also I can be very bitchy sometimes, so don’t be surprised.” I didn’t tell John about what happened in my past or about Bill.
“Tell me a little about you.”
“Okay. I’m 32 years old, I was born here in New York, I don’t have a favorite color, and I run the mailroom at the building.”
“For a manager, you sure do a lot of work. Why don’t you let your employees do the work.”
“I just do the work as an excuse to see you.” I start feeling my cheeks blush. We looked at each other for what seemed like forever. My heart was beating so fast. The waiter cleared her throat to get our attention.
“Sorry that I took so long. What can I get you?” I ordered a Coke while John ordered a beer. While waiting for our drinks, we start talking. John and I basically had a lot in common. John told me about the last relationship he’s been in was 5 years ago and the reason he left it was because the woman was cheating on him.

* * *

As soon as we finished eating, John got the check. I excused myself to the ladies room before we left. tonight was amazing. I learned much more about John and we have gotten close. We laughed, talked and told a few secrets we never told anyone. I kind of wish this night would never end. as I left the restroom, I stopped and saw that sleezy waiter trying to flirt with John. This girl has been flirting with John all through dinner and I tried to ignore it but now I'm pissed. I walked toward John and the waiter. John saw me coming but since the girl back was towards me, she didn't see me.

I walked to John and kissed him passionately in front of the waiter, acting as if she wasn't there.
"Sweetie, I'm ready to go." I turned to the waiter who face was red from embarrassed.
"Oh sorry. I didn't see you there. Thanks for the good service. Can we go now John?" I turned to John, who looked suprised.
"Yeah. Um........okay." John paid the bill and we left? Once we were on the road, I started venting my anger.
"Oh that bitch. She has the nerve to flirt with you with you, while i'm right in front of her. I could have beaten her ass if I wasn't a christian." I turned to John, finding him laughing. "What's so funny?" I'm getting even more pissed off because John thinks it's funny. "I'm just surprised, that's all.I never thought you would get jealous about a waitress flirting with me." "I'm not jealous. I just thought it was rude."
"Okay......sweetie. What was up with the kiss then?" He said. "I just wanted to teach her a lesson." I said defiantly. "Oh. Okay." He just shook his head and chuckled a little. After that it was quiet.

Once John pulled up to the apartments, he went with me to my apartment. I didn't see Erin's car outside, so I knew she wasn't home. John and I stood in the hallway, in awkward silence. "Well, thanks for dinner. I had a good time." "Me too." We stood there some more. This is so weird. Do you want to come inside? I made apple pie yesterday." I asked. "No thanks. I hae to get going. But thanks for the offer."
"Oh, okay" I said with slight disappointment.....and anger. I don't know why I was feeling this way, but I couldn't believe he turned down my offer. I got back to reality, seeing John looking at me. He closed the space between us and kissed me. I felt like I was melting. I felt warm all over.

John pulled away. Why did he pull away?Didn't he like it? "Well, I have to go." he said. "Okay." I said with disappointment. John then quietly left. What a bummer. I went in the apartment and slumped against the door. That is when the tears started running down my cheeks. What is wrong with me? Isn't this what I wanted, to be alone with no man in my future? Then why am I feeling these things for John? All I know is that I have to get over it.

As soon as I was about to go to my room, I hear a knock at the door. I look at the clock. Who in the world would come over at 11 o'clock at night? As I opened the door, John comes forward and kisses me. Even though I was shocked that he came back, I ignored the thought and kissed him back. He lead me to my bedroom and started undressing me. I start feeling all heated up. My heart was racing so fast. Once we got to the bedroom, John laid me on the bed and laid beside me. For the rest of the night, it was wonderful.

* * *

The sun is shining through the window, shining on John's face. He managed to go to sleep but I kept thinking about what happened. I leaned up from John's chest and looked at him. He was sleeping so peacefully. I'm surprised he's still single. Thank goodness Erin is gone for the weekend for the church retreat. I got on top of John and kissed him softly on the lips. He stirred but went back to sleep. It’s time for him to wake up. It is 10 o’ clock in the morning. I kissed him again but this time John rolled me under him. He’s been awake this whole time. John kissed me passionately. His kisses start trailing to my neck.
“John…John…can you stop.” My mind was whirling and going out of control.
“What’s wrong. Isn’t this why you woke me up, or tried to wake me up.”
I pushed John off me and got out of bed and put on my robe.
“I woke you up because it’s time to wake up.” john looked disappointed but he tried to hide it.
“Okay, so what are we going to do?”
“Well, first take a shower… by ourselves.” I said as I saw a smile creep on his face.
“Then, I will fix breakfast and we’ll see what happens after that.”

I went into the bathroom and locked the door to make sure that John doesn’t get in. while in the shower, I was thinking about last night. I start remembering John’s tender kisses and his soft touches. I shuddered at the thought of it. I know I don’t want to feel this way, but I can’t control how I feel. Whatever I am feeling, it’s something I never felt before. I never had this happen with Bill. What if I’m falling for him. All I know is that I can’t let these feelings take over or I will get hurt. Again.

As I got out of the shower, I put on my robe and brushed my teeth. When I left out of the bathroom, john was in front of my dresser, looking at the pictures on top of it. I blushed when I saw that he was still naked. When I cleared my throat to get his attention, he turned around and smiled. I tried so hard not to look down.
“Umm, you can go in now.”
“it’s safe now.”
“Why you said that?”
“Because, since you locked the door…”
“Oh yeah. You notices that?” I felt so embarrassed. John start walking toward me. When he got in front of me, my heart start beating rapidly. He said something but I wasn’t paying attention. I was too busy looking at him. He is so handsome. His broad chest was the only thing I could see. I wanted to touch his chest, but I had to stop myself.
“Iris, are yo okay?” I looked up to see John looking at me with concern.
“Hmm.”
“I said where can I find a washcloth?”
“Oh, I already have one in there for you.” John looked at me a little longer, then went into the bathroom.

I feel so embarrassed. He probably now think I’m weird. What is wrong with me? I hope he didn’t notice me staring at him. I can’t worry about that now. I went to my dresser and looked for some clothes. When I finished, I came up with a light v neck sweater with some skinny jeans. I blow dried my hair and straightened it and went to the kitchen to see what there was to cook.

By the time I heard the shower turning off, I already had breakfast fixed. I made turkey bacon, egg whites, and some toast. I also cut up some fruit and poured some orange juice. While waiting for John, I went to the phone to see if there were any missed calls. I meant to check it last night but I felt myself blush when I remembered what happened last night. The red light was blinking. I clicked the button. Once the message start playing, it was like my heart stopped beating and a chill went down my spine.
“Baby, I finally found you at last. You don’t know how hard it was for me to find you. I told you can’t get away from me. All I want to say is watch out. I love you.”

Once the message was over, it felt like my heart stop breathing. No, this can’t be. I felt my heart stop beating. No, this can’t be. I felt another icy chill go down my spine. Why now? Why did Bill have to find me? And what did he mean by watch out? What if he do something bad to Erin and John? Or worse, he might kill them. After that thought, everything went black. I don’t know what happened.

Chapter 8

“Iris! Iris, can you hear me?” I woke up after hearing John’s voice. John was bending over me, his eyes filled with worry then with relief. I look at my surroundings, finding myself on the sofa. I look back up at John. He look so handsome. His hazel eyes was filled with worry.
“Iris, are you okay, you almost scared me. I came out here and found you passed out on the floor. I almost called the ambulance.”
“I’m fine. You don’t have to do that.” I said while sitting up. John helped me and sat on the coffee table in front of me.
“So what was that when you fell.”
“Nothing. I was probably dehydrated or something. Besides, why you so worried.”
“I’m not. Its just… I can’t explain… Once I saw you on the floor, … I don’t know.”

He was worried. He looked like a little boy, staring at the floor. I grabbed his hands and tried to catch his eye. As soon as he looked up, our eyes locked. I felt my heart racing. I really shouldn’t be doing this, being here with him. John reaches out and pushed a strand of hair out of my face.
“Iris…”
“Yes.”
Before he gets to say anything, the phone start ringing. Why did someone had to call at this moment? What was it that John was about to tell me? Pissed, I got up and answered the phone.
"Hello?" I said with dissappointment.
"Iris, what's wrong."
"Oh. Hey Erin."
"Did I call at a wrong time."
I looked behind me and pointed to my room to tell him I was going in there. Once i got in the room and shut the door, I answered Erin.
"John's here. He was just about to tell me something but he was interrupted by you when you called so what you think?"
"Sorry. I was just calling to check up on you. You haven't called me last night. Where were you last night?"
"I was busy."
"Mmhmm, I bet you were busy. very busy. You should be ashamed of yourself for having sex before getting married. Did you at least use protection?"
"Hmm?"
"You heard me. I said did John use protection?"
"I don't know."
"How do you not know?"
"I don't remember. I don't remember."
"Yeah right. I bet you'll remember once you feel your water break because you didn't remember

that you got pregnant."
"Mind your business Erin. You sound just like mom. I have to go. Bye."
Before Erin got to say anything, I hung up on her. Man, this is one of those times when Erin gets on my nerves so bad that I just want to punch her in the face. Ever since she got saved, she always acted as if she was better than me.

Once I calmed myself down, I left my room. Once I got out of the room, there was a knock at the door. Frustrated, I opened up the door and it felt like I just died.
"What the hell you doing here. If you don't get out of here, I swear I will call the police."
Bill walked into the apartment smiling.
"Is this how you treat you husband."
"Ex husband if I have to bring back your rememberance."
"Hey Iris, who was at the door... Bill?" John just left out of the kitchen and stopped in the middle of his tracks.
"Well well well. If it's not Bill. It have been a long time."
"Iris, how do you know Bill?" John looked pissed.
"He's my ex husband. How do you know Bill?"
Everyone was quiet.
"Can someone please answer me."
The answer was so shocking, I almost fainted again.
"Bill's my brother."
Oh hell no.

Main characters

Hey guys. I just want you to have a look at of what the characters look like so that is why I made a characters book. You guys should check it out. I hope you enjoy it and the rest of the book.

Chapter 9

"What the hell, John. When were you going to tell me?" I'm still in shock. It's like a nightmare have just started. Why did John have to be Bill's brother.
"First of all, I didn't know you knew Bill. Second, you're married?"
"I USED to be married. Well, not all the way because I've been trying to hide from Bill because he don't know how to treat a lady, I couldn't send him any divorce papers or he would have found me." I looked at Bill when I said this. Bill start looking irritated.

Before I got to say anything else, Bill interrupted.
"Okay love birds. This ain't no marriage counseling. I came here for one thing and one thing only... to bring Iris home with me."
"How did you find me?"
"I had a little help from my sister, Yasmine. She told me that Johny over there took you home and she followed you guys."
"Well, I'm not going with you. I'm fine where I am. You must think I'm I'm stupid, thinking that I will go back to you."
"You go where ever I tell you to go. Besides, it wasn't a question so it doesn't need an answer. Now let's go."
"I said I'm not going. You need to get out of here before I call the police."
Bill start looking relly pissed now. He now have the same look in his eyes before he loses it. I start getting scared.
"You bitch." He tried grabbing me but John got in the way.
"No Bill. Iris asked you to leave so now leave."
Bill looked from me to John.
"Oh, I see. You've slept with her. John, how could you betray me. First you turn your back on me. Now, you sleeping with my wife."
"First, you guys won't be married for long. Second, you the one who turned your back on me and the rest of the family.
"So, you are going to be on her side instead of mine?" John stepped back and put me behind him. Bill start laughing.
"Okay, I see how it's going to be. Iris, I will see you again. I will not leave New York without you."
"Over my dead body." I felt my legs shaking.
"Be careful of what you wish for." He stared at me, sending shivers down my spine, and left.

After a several seconds of seconds, I felt myself panicking.
"What did he mean by that?' This was one thing that I was scared about. Now I put Erin in danger. That's when I start crying. John held me close.
"John, I'm tired. I'm tired of having to run from Bill. I want to live my life without the fear."
"I know Iris. I'll handle Bill. I'm sorry Bill is doing this to you."
I looked up at John.
"Can you stay tonight? I don't want to be alone."
"I'll stay."
"I'll be right back. I have to call Erin to see if she is alright."
I went into my room and got my cell phone. When I called Erin, at first it went to voicemail, but the second time, she answered.
"I thought you wanted me to leave you alone."
"Shut up, Erin. I need to tell you something important."
"Well, I hope its so important that you had to call while the pastor was preaching."
"Bill was here. Erin, he found me."
"Wait, hold up. Did he put his hands on you? Did you call the police?"
No. John was here to protect me. John send Bill off for me."
There was a sigh of relief when I told her this.
"That's not all, though."
"What? What happened."
"Erin, John is Bill's brother."
"No, you have to be lying."
"Nope. Both of them are brothers.."
"Why you don't sound mad?"
"Why would I be?"
"Well, since John's Bill's brother, don't you think you need to be careful."
"But John protected me. Also John and Bill could barely stand each other."
"I'm just saying that you need to protect yourself. We'll talk later. You'll have to give me the details when I get bak. I have to go."
"Alright, love you."
"Be careful." After we said good bye, I hung up.
Man, this is too much. Erin does have a point.Whar if John is really on Bill's side and he's just playing me so I can go back to Bill. This is so sonfusing.

I've been pacing my room for a long time. There was a knock at my door.
"Hey, Iris. Are you okay? You've been in there for an hour."
"You can come in." I sat down on my bed. John opened up my door and walked in and sat beside me.
"Are you okay?"
"I'm just tired. I'm going to go to bed early."
"At 4 o' clock in the afternoon."
"Yeah."
"Alright. I'll be in the living room if you need me."
Once he left the room, I changed into my night gown and brushed my teeth. I was so exhausted that by the time I laid my head down, I fell right to sleep.

***

Not again. Now I'm back in the forest, running. Now I'm back behind the tree. As I stood there, I notice something was different. Instead of having a knife in my hand, I had a gun. I notice that I wasn't alone.
"Iris, where are you?" The voice sound so familiar. I looked around the tree. Since it was foggy, I could see nothing but a figure. My legs were shaking.
"Who are you?" I hid the gun behind me. The man start walking toward me. When he start getting closer, I start backing away. I held out the gun.
"Iris." Once the figure got out of the fog, I start getting scared. It was Bill who was calling me.
"Go ahead. Shoot me. You know you want to." My hands start shaking. Bill start laughing.
"Shoot me!" Next thing I know, I pulled the trigger and a loud thunder-like sound came. Bill is now on the ground, bleeding to death. Something told me to get close to Bill. Once I got to him, it felt like I nearly died. Instead of Bill being the one who was shot, it was John.
"No." I dropped down to my knees.John was trying to breath, but the blood coming out of his mouth made it difficult for him.
"John, I'm sorry." I felt tears coming out of my eyes.
"Iris...I..." Before he got to say the rest, he died.
"No, John. You what. John!" I start crying harder.
"I can put you out of your misery." I turned around and found Bill standing behind me with a gun to my head. Before I got to say something, Bill shot me and all I saw was darkness.

"Iris, wake up. You had a nightmare." I woke up finding John beside me on my bed, holding me. I felt my cheeks feeling that it was wet, I was holding on to John.
"What happened?"
'I heard you screaming 'no' so I came in here to check on you, finding that you was having a nightmare. What were you dreaming about?"
I told John what happened. At the same time, I was crying.
"John, it was horrible."
"It's okay. It was just a nightmare."
"But I've been having these so called nightmares for two years and I am getting tired of it. What if it's a sign."
"I told you I will protect you. Can you trust me?" I looked John in his eyes.
"Yes, I can trust you." John intertwined our fingers. For a while, we laid on our sides, looking at each other.
"John?"
"Hmm"
"Why do you put up with me when you can easily have any woman you want. My life is messed up, but you are willing to put up with me still."
"There is something about you that fascinates me. A part of me that wants to help you and keep you safe."
"But you don't even know me."
"You keep saying that. I want to get to know you and get close with you but everytime I try, you get scared and push me away."
"I'm sorry. I'm just having trouble trusting men after Bill."
"Well, I'm not Bill. All I want you to do is try to let me in. Let me get to know you." He touched my cheek softly.
"I'll try."
I looked back into John's eyes. I saw honesty and truth in them. My heart start beating rapidly. I think I am falling in love with John. John's hand that was on my cheek moved to my hands. He lifted my hand and kissed it. He then looked at me and leaned his face near mine. Once our lips touched, a little spark came. When we were kissing, John put his hand around my waist and pulled me close. At that moment, I felt safe in his arms. That's when I knew I could trust him.

Chapter 10

It has been 3 weeks since Bill has visited me.Even though I am relieved, I know Bill is not done with me and he would still come after me. When Erin came back, I told her what happened. At fir, Erin seemed so mad that she start saying how if she see Bill, she would make sure he pay for all he had done to me. Once John and I calmed down, Erin's 'gospel' side start kicking in and se went to her room to pray. For me and John, these last few weeks were good. John and I get o know each other a little more. Some nights, John would sta the night and comfort me whenever I had a nightmare. Erin was okay with it of course. Everything was going good. At least now.

I woke up happy. John was laying behind me with his arms around me. Last night, he spend the night because I asked. It is easy for me to fall asleep when John is beside me, but I never told John that. It was never this way with Bill. I would always have to keep a knife under my pillpw, just in case Bill lost it and tried to attack me. I never felt safe with Bill. I turned around and found that John was awake.

"How long have you been awake?"
"I've been awake for a while. I was watching you while you was sleeping." He start playing with my hair.
"Why?"
"You was sleeping so peacefully." I sat up and stretched. John was still laying on the bed.
"Is Erin still here?" Since John sleeps with his shirt off, I was fascinated when John sat up and stretched . His muscles start flexing. I couldn't take my eyes off of him. When I looked up, I noticed that John was looking at me, smiling. I felt myself blush.
"Erin's still here." While John was saying this, he start getting closer to me.
"John, Erin could be awake."
"Last time I checked, she was still asleep." After that, he grabbed my waist and pulled me closer." I looked up at John, his eyes filled with passion. I grabbed his head and pulled his face down until our lips touched. We start kissing passionately and things start getting heated up. John put both of his hands on my waist and pulled me closer to him.

Before things got any furter, I heard someone clear their throat. Both John and I looked up at the same time to find Erin standing at my doorway. I quickly pushed John away and smiled at Erin.
"Hey, Erin. You're awake."
"I was already awake." I did a side glance at John, then put my attention back on Erin.
"You need something?"
"Can I talk to you in private?" I turned to John and he sighed and left the room.
"For real, Iris."
"What?" I tried to sound innocent.
"Nothing. I need to talk to you about mom. She called today."
"What? What happened? Is she okay?"
"She just called and told me she misses us so we are going on a road trip to California to visit mom."
"No, I'm not going. You know that everytime mom and I are near each other, there is always a prroblem."
"Well, mom asked for us to come and visit her."
"Well, I'm not going. I already have other problems I need to get rid of."
"Please, Iris. At least go for me." Erin tried giving me the puppy eyes.
"I'll think about it." Ater that, I left the room. John was sitting on the couch. He must have heard the door open because when I went into the living room, he automatically got up.
"What's wrong?"
"Why do you say that?"
"Once you left your room, you had this angry expression on your face."
"Oh. Well, Erin wants us to go visit our mom."
"What's wrong with that?"
"My mom gets on my nerves."
"Even though she gets on your nerves, she is still your mother."
"I don't know."
"What about this. I'll go with you."
"You're willing to do that for me?"
"Yeah."
"Okay. I'll go. I'll go tell Erin that I'll be going after all. I'll just use some of my leave and count this as a vacation."
When I told Erin, she was so happy. I'm so happy that Erin is happy because I'm sure hell not happy. The next day, we were on on the way. Since John's car was bigger, we used his car. We all decided to take turns and Johndecided he will go first. When we pulled off, I laid my head back and closed my eyes. This was goin to be a long trip.

"Iris, wake up." I woke up to the sound of someone whispering.
"What?" I opened up my eyes. I looked around. We stopped in front of the gas station.
"What happened?"
"We're about to switch."
"What? How long have I been asleep?"
"Youve been asleep for five hours."
"You got to be kidding me. Where's John?"
"He went into the store to get some smacks." after Erin said that, John came out of the store with some potato chips, candy bars, and some soda.
"Hey sleepy head." John said when he got in the back seat with me.
"Hey." I layed on his shoulder.
"You going back to sleep?"
"Yep."
"You've been sleeping alot lately."
"I know." I snuggled against John's shoulder so I can get comfortable.
"Hey guys. I was thinking that maybe we can stop and eat."
"That sound good to me." John said as he began to sit up. After a while, Erin stopped at Olive Garden. Erin got out of the car so she can reserve a table for us. John start heading inside, but I stopped him.
"John, I have to tell you something important." I looked inside the restaurant to make sure Erin wasn't coming.
"What is it?" I see Erin heading back outside.
"I'll have to tell you later."
"Hey guys. Our table will will be ready in five minutes." She pulled out a cigarette and lit it. She held her box out to us.
"You want one?" John took one, but I shook my head as no.
"When did you stop smoking?" She said while blowing out smoke. I waft the smoke out of my face.
"I just decided to end this bad habit."
"I know what you mean. I should be stopping too." After Erin said that, she threw the cigarette down on the ground and stepped on it. I notice that John was looking at me very curiously.
"Well, I'll see if the table is ready." Erin went back inside.
"Are you sure you are okay?"
"Yeah. Let's go inside." John stood there for a little while, but he followed me inside. The whole dinner was quiet. No one said anything.

After we finish eating, we were back on the road. Erin, trying to be slick, said she wasn't feeling good so instead of her driving us to the hotel, John had to drive. So now, I am stuck in the back seat with Erin, who is now sleep, snoring in my ear. Once we got to the hotel, I woke up Erin and we all went in to check in. Erin and I are sharing a room and John's room is down the hall from ours.

"I am so exhausted." At first it didn't register in my head of what Erin said. I was mostly trying to think of a way I can sneak to John's room and come back without Erin knowing.
"Hey, Iris." Reality start coming back and I found Erin staring at me.
"Hmm."
"Are you okay?" You was quiet the whole time we've been here."
"Oh. I'm fine. I'm just tired." I let out a fake yawn.
"Me too. I'm about to go to bed. Maybe you need to go to sleep too." Erin took out her tank top and shorts she use as PJs and put them on.
"Yeah, I'll go to bed too." That's a start. Once Erin goes to sleep, I'll sneak out and go to John's room. I have to tell him something important. I took out John's t-shirt I use as PJs and put it on. After Erin left out of the bathroom after brushing her teeth, I went and brushed my teeth. By the time I got out of the bathroom, Erin was knocked on her bed.
"Yes." I went back into the bathromm and brushed through my hair. Before I left, I made sure that Erin was really sleep. I grabbed my keys and shut the door behind me very silently.

When I got to John's room, his door was slightly opened. I heard John talking to someone. Getting curious, I pushed his door so it could open enough so I can see him. John was talking on the phone. What I heard broke me down.

Chapter 11

I looked into John's room and saw Yasmin standing there, talking to him.
"John, how long are you going to keep up this charade. Now that Bill know what Bill may do." Yasmine said.
"He wouldn't have found out if you haven't ran your mouth." John said.
"I keep saying sorry, but you know what you're doing is wrong. We both agreed that you would go out and find Iris. Once we find her, that should bring Bill to us But no, what do you do? You fuck her. That was not a part of the plan." Yasmine said. As she said that, it just felt like my heart was just torn from my chest. No, this can't be true. She has to be lying.
"Yasmine, I know what I'm doing. You just have to trust me on this. Iris is just starting to trust me." he said. Yasmine stared at him for a second, as if she were reading his mind.
"That's not the reason. You're falling in love with her. Just admit it." That's when I couldn't take it anymore, I pushed the door open and I got both of their attention.
"Yeah John. Admit it. Tell the truth because it don't seem like you can tell me the truth." John looked shocked, as if he was a kid who just got caught trying to sneak a cookie.
"Iris, how long have you been standing there?" he asked.
"Long enough to know how you used me. You're the reason Bill found me." I am so angry right now."
"Iris..." Yasmine said as she start walking towards me, but I stepped back.
"Don't you dare come near me if you want to kee[ your pretty face." I snapped.
"Now you need to calm down." Yasmine snapped back.
"Calm down? You have lost your..." I tried to attack, but John grabbed me and pulled me back.
" ¿Quién demonios te están diciendo que se calmara. Voy a patearte el culo ...(in other words:Who the hell are you telling to calm down. I will kick your ass...)" I yelled at her.
"Calm down Iris...wait, you speak spanish?"
"Don't you dare touch me." I yelled at him as I pushed him off of me.
"I'm sorry Iris."
"Fuck you and your sister. Don't none of you come near me ever again." After that, I ran out of the room. I stopped and that is when my walls broke down and I start crying. I can't believe this. I can't believe John would do this to me. Some one put their hands on my shoulders and I knew who it was.
"Iris, I could explain..." I moved away.
"Get away from me. How could you do this to me? Knowing what Bill put me through. That night you told me to let you in and for me to trust you, I actually started to trust you. I finally give you my heart, but you just take it and play with it. I was falling for you John. So much of an idiot I am. I was hoping that you wasn't like Bill, but you two are just alike."
"Don't compare me to Bill. If you let me explain..."
"Explain what? You have nothing to explain. I heard everything. You got what you wanted. Bill's here. You just lost someone in the process. Me." I yelled at him. The door to Erin and mine room opened.
"What is all this yelling? I'm trying to sleep." Erin said groggily. That's when I start feeling the sharp pain in my stomach that I start bending over.
"Iris, what's wrong?" I hear Erin's faint voice. The pain was so painful, I start to feel light headed.
"Iris! Hello, we need help out here!" Erin yelled. Next thing I know, I see darkness.

***

I opened up my eyes, but at first it was blurry.
"She's awake." Erin says excitedly. I kept blinking until my vision cleared up.
"What happened. Where am I?"
"You're in the hospital, darling." I looked over and see mom standing next to Erin. Oh crap. I have to be having a nightmare. I looked down and saw I was in a hospital bed. Erin look so worried.
"Don't do that to me again, Iris. You almost scared me to death." Erin said,
"What happened?" I tried to sit up, but I was struggling so Erin helped me.
"You passed out in the hallway at the hotel." Erin said as she step back That's when a doctor walked into the room.
"You're awake. I'm your doctor, Dr. Banks." he said.
"Doctor, how long have I been here?"
"Well, you have been asleep since yesterday night and it's now 7:30 pm." That's when I remembered what happened yesterday.
"So what's wrong with me. Just tell me so I can get out of here."
"Well, I checked everything and your fine.Then your sister Erin told me how you grabbed your abdomenm, I did a sonogram."
"Okay..." I'm starting to get real impatient. The look on Dr. Banks face told me something was up.
"Well, it was stress that caused this. You was so stresses that it affected the baby..."
"Wait, what?" I interrupted. I just want to make sure what I am hearing right. All I hear is the word baby repeating itself in my head.
"Congratulations. You're going to be a mother."
"So you telling me that I'm pregnant?"
"Yes, well..." Oh shit, more news.
"What doctor?" mom asked.
"I think I should show you. I'll be right back." Dr. Banks said as he walked out of the room.
"I knew it. I just didn't check." I said as I start crying.
"Wait, you knew you were pregnant?"
"Well, the thought was in my head. I start noticing that I was gaining weight and my cycle haven't came yet. Why you think I stopped smoking and drinking. I was planning on telling John last night that I thought I was pregnant, but the doctor just confirmed it for me." I answered.
"Oh my goodness. I'm going to be a grandmother" Mom said as she shook as if she just heard something scary.
"Mom, calm down. You should be happy." Erin said.
"Happy? All its showing is how old I'm getting. I'm getting a headache just thinking about it. I need to sit down." she said as she sat down in the only chair in the room. Mom is such a drama queen. That's when Erin noticed that I was still crying.
"Iris, what's wrong? It's okay. Even if you having a baby without getting married. At least you're having something precious. You and John are having a baby." Erin said excitedly as she touched my stomach.
"Don't say that name to to me again." All it's doing is making me want to cry more.
"Did I miss something? I thought you guys were happy."
"If you heard what I heard, you would agree with me."
"You heard what?" I told Erin about what happened. The more I told, the redder Erin got.
"I knew John was up to no good. As soon as I was going to hit him with that bat when I found him in our home. No wonder he wouldn't tell me anything. Ese hijo de puta.(that bastard.)"
"Erin!" I'm shocked that she said that.
"I'm sorry God... but it's true."
"Where is John now?" I asked.
"He is in the waiting room. I told him he could come in, but he said he would wait there in the waiting room. I see why now why he don't want to come in here."
"Don't tell him anything, okay. I don't want him to know."
"I can keep a secret." Erin said. We both looked at mom. We both know mom can run her mouth.
"What?" mom said, trying to look innocent.
"Promise you won't tell John or anyone else about this." I said as I gave her a stern look.
"Not even your father?"
"Not even dad." Mom sighed in defeat.
"Fine. My lips are sealed. But you know it soon going to be obvious. Also, you will have to let that man know sooner or later that you're having a child."
"I know mom. But, I want to tell him when it is the right time." I wonder when is the right time I thought to myself. Right now, I despise that man.

 

The doctor comes back in with the sonogram machine.

"Doctor, this is not necessary. You just confirmed for me that I'm pregnant." I said.

"I just want to show you something."

"Fine." The doctor pulls up my gown until my belly is showing. He puts the cold jelly on it and put the remote looking thing on it. I looked at the screen. All I see a are spots and other stuff.

"Can you tell me what I'm looking at?"

"You are looking at soon to be three beautiful babies. Congratulations, you are having triplets."

"Oh Lord." mom said before she fainted in the chair.

"Wair... so I'm not having a baby. I'm having THREE babies!"

"Yes. It looks like it. " It's quiet again. The doctor start looking uncomfortable.

"Well, I'll just leave you ladies while you take in the good news."

"Thank you, doctor. I just have another question for you. How long am I?"

"You are about two monthes pregnant."

"Okay. Thank you."

"The nurse will bring you the papers so you can sign and then you can leave."

"Okay." The doctor packed up the machine and left out of the room.

"That mean I conceived them when John and I had sex for the first time, back in November. So I'm due in Augusr.." I said as I got out of be. I went to the closet and saw a bag of clothes in there. I took them out and went to the bathroom and took a quick shower and brush my teeth. I come out and see Erin standing in front of the door.

"So..." Erin said. I start running my hands through my hair to take out the tangles.

"So what?"

"Now you have to tell John. Both of you are having three children."

"I will tell John, just when I feel that the time is right." Erin was going to say something, but she kept quiet. The nurse came in with the papers and I signned them. I went over to mom, who was still passed out, and shoook her. She finally woke up.

"Mom, we can leave now."

"What happened? Oh yeah. I just found out how much you hate me."

"What did I do now." I think mom is the one who will cause my miscarriage, the way she's getting on my nerves right now.

"I could take one grandchild, but three? Are you trying to kill me?" I rolled my eyes as I put on my jacket.

"Thanks Erin for my clothes."

"No problem."  We walked out of the room and walked towards the elevator. I hear my name being called so I turned around to see John and Yasmine standing there.

"Iris, are you okay?" He looked so concerned, but I didn't care. Erin stood in front of me.

"Haven't you caused enough damage already? Din't talk to Iris." Erin snapped at him. Yasmine tug on John's arm.

"Let's just go, John" she said.

"You have the nerve to bring your sister here too." Erin said, her face turning red from anger.

"Iris can speak for herself." John snapped back.

"Well, she is not your concern anymore, so you can just leave." Erin said. John turned to me, his face full of emotion.

"Iris, please. Can we talk." he begged.

"Can we leave? This is like a soap opera and I hate soap operas. They are so dramatic." mom said. I sighed.

"Erin, just give us a few minutes." I said calmly.

"But... fine. Mom and I will be waiting in the car. Call me if you need help." Erin and mom got on the elevator. Before it close, Erin lean her head out.

"Wait, we forgot some one... She is not staying." Erin said as she nodded towards Yasmine. John turned to Yasmine and nodded. She rolled her eyes as she got on the elevator with mom and Erin. Before the door close, I can see Erin glaring at her.

"So, how are you? What did the doctor say?" John ask worriedly.

"I'm fine. The doctor said that it's just stress." I lied.

"Look Iris. I'm sorry. I didn't mean for you to find out that way."

"How could I be so stupid. To actually think there is one descent guy out there and you ruined that for me."

"If you let me explain, you will understand the reason why I did this."

"Explain what? There is nothing to explain. You explained yourself back at the hotel. I'm done with you and your lies." I start to walk away, on the verge of crying, but John grabbed my wrist. I looked back and saw longing in his eyes.

"I love you Iris. I'm in love with you. Please don't do this." Once he said that, tears start pouring down my face. I went to him and kissed him. Our last kiss. I stepped back.

"Good bye John. You don't have to worry about keeping secrets from me anymore." I said before I walked away. Tears are still pouring down my face, my heart aching. John didn't follow.

Chapter 12

"Mom, I don't need that much food." I said as the cook put a plate piled up with spaghetti and meatballs.

"Darling, you forgot you eating for four." mom said as she placed her napkin on her lap.

"Which, I'm trying to still take in." dad added as he sat down at the table. It's been 3 weeks since I been to the hospital. Unfortunately, mom couldn't keep the secret from dad so now he knows. That is why I can't tell mom anything because she can't keep a secret.

"Iris, puede ser que también acaba de comer. Sabes mamá no se dará por vencido. (Iris, you might as well just eat it. You know mom won't give up.)" Erin said.

"No puedo comer todo esto. (I can't eat all of this.)" I responded back.

" Sólo tienes que hacer, está bien. Usted no desea conseguir la bruja enojada.(Just do it, okay.. You don't want to get the witch angry.)" she giggled.

"Yo sé bien.(I know right.)" I tried not to laugh.

"No hable de su madre.(Don't talk about your mother.)" dad said.

"What is going on? I told you Richard not to teach them spanish, but no. You said you want them to learn so they can know where they came from. Now look. They taking advantage of it, probably, making fun of me." mom whined. I rolled my eyes as mom kept nagging.

"Mom, we didn't say anything. Don't worry." I lied. I did a single glance at Erin and gave her a small smile.

"There. Now lets eat." Dad said. He start digging into his spaghetti, but Erin stopped him.

"We can't eat yet. We have to say grace." Erin said as she grabbed my hand. Mom and dad sighed as they held hands with each other. They are still getting used to Erin's new self.

"Dad, can you say grace." Erin asked.

"Wair, what?" He was not expecting that.

"Just pray Richard." mom said impatiently.

"Fine. Um Lord. This is Richard. Thank you for this food and the other stuff we are suppose to thank you for. Amen." I opened my eyes and looked at Erin, who was shocked.

"Just let it go Erin. Calm down." I said quietly enough so that only she will hear. Erin calmed down and shook her head. After that, we start eating. All I can hear is the clicking of forks and "Can you pass the salad?" or "Can you pass the salt?" Of couse I ate all the food because I know mom would say something about it after dinner. I went  up to my room after dinner and shut the door behind me. I am so tired and worn out. Some of it is from the pregnancy. I knew it was going to be a little hard in this pregnancy, but holding three babies make it harder. I got in front of the mirror and looked at my stomach. Even though I am only 3 monthes pregnant, it look like it is more than that. I just can't wait until this pregnancy is over and I have these babies. I sit down on the bed and I hear a knock at the door.

"Come in." Erin comes in with a box of chocolate and a letter.

"Oh Erin you shouldn't have. We are sisters." I said as I laughed.

"Haha, very funny. These didn't come from me. The delivery man just dropped them off."

"I know. Again? John need to stop this." Erin sat next to me and handed me the presents. I just threw the letter and opened the chocolates and start eating them.

"Aren't you going to read that?" Erin asks.

"No."

"Iris, you can't keep ignoring him. He is the father of your children. You have to tell him."

"Now you are on his side? I told you what happened. I thought you understood why I am not telling him yet."

"Fine, I'm sorry. I know what can go good with that chocolate." she says, trying to change the subject.

"What?"

"Ice cream."

"But we don't have anymore. I ate the rest yesterday." I said as I tried to keep myself from laughing.

"Let's go to the store. Besides, you haven't left the house since your last hospital visit."

"Fine. I will see you outside in the car. Just let me get my coat and shoes on."

"Okay, but hurry." Erin said as she left my room and shut the door. Making sure she was gone, I took the letter from the trash can. My heart start beating fast as I opened the envelope. My heart ached as I read the letter. I read it and it said:

"Dear Iris,

It's me again. I know you are hoping that I won't send you anymore letters, but I can't help it. I know I hurt you, but if you let me explain, you would probably understand. I never intended for you for you to find out the way you did and end up in the hospital in the process. I miss you so much, but you probably won't be able to forgive me right away. All I want is for you to call me and we can talk about this. I love you so much and I know your feelings for me never went away.

                                                                  , John."

No matter how much I didn't want it to be true, I knew it was. I want to call him to work things out, but I am still hurt from what happened and I don't want to go through another bad relationship. But, either way I would have to face him to tell him about the babies because he has the right to know about them. That's when I made my decision. I put the letter with the other letters from John in the drawer at my desk. The drawer is filled and stacked with letters because John sends me them and I get one everyday. After I put my coat and shoes on, my cell phone start ringing. I picked it up and answered it without checking the caller id.

"Hello?" I said.

"Iris, it's me, Bill." A chill ran down my back when I heard his voice.

"I told you not to call me anymore and leave me alone."

"I'm just calling to tell you I'm sorry. Over the past few monthes I changed. I realized how badly I hurt you and I want to make it up to you."

"Do you know how many times I heard you say this in the past. I'm done with you and I don't want you to call me anymore."

"I signed the divorce papers that you sent to me. All I want is to talk to you."

"I don't think that is a good idea."

"Please." he pleaded. I'm actually surprised that he sound sincere and he sounds like he meant everything he said. 

"We can talk tomorrow at the public park. You know the park where we..." 

"I know. Where we had our first date. I remember."

"Well, I will meet you there at 1:30 tomorrow."

Impressum

Tag der Veröffentlichung: 23.01.2012

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Widmung:
I dedicate this book to my family, friends, and those who are in love.