Chapter 1
My name is Janey I am 16. I’ve been in rehab for 2 months now reassessing my entire life. I’ve come to the conclusion that all the fragments of my life are tears in the curtains of reality.
This is how my life has gone.
“Mum” I screamed as my brother dragged me away from the scene of my mother and father fighting. He grabbed a syringe of strange liquid and pushed the needle into my vein as I kicked and screamed. The room started spinning as it always did when they drugged me.
It was dark when I woke up. I’d been shoved behind some garbage bins in an alley. I sat up slowly my head was pounding. I could smell rotting food scraps and feel the slimy garbage bags against my back.
I walked out of the alley still dizzy from the drugs. I looked up at a sign above the busy road “Sydney” I gasped nearly falling knowing that I was from Alice Springs. Tears started to blur my vision as I leant against the wall. My belly growled hungrily as I smelt food. I looked down the street and saw a take away shop with people walking in and out at a rapid pace. A woman with a packet of chips walked past me briskly the smell of the chips made my stomach gurgle and my mouth water. I walked slowly towards the shop rubbing my dirty hands on my jeans. The smell of hot oil deep fried chips and squid rings cooked to a perfect mouth watering crisp with that lush chewy centre filled my nose. I stepped in carefully and almost fainted. All the food smelt so good and I hadn’t eaten in about two days. Mum and dad often forgot to feed us and we had no money for our own food. But that was then; I was on my own now.
The shop was packed I couldn’t see the counter and nobody could see me. I snaked my hand slowly towards a packet of Smith’s chips and grabbed them. I slowly pulled them gently off the rack then turned and ran. I headed for the door when ‘CRACK’ I ran straight into a bikie, I looked up. His long brown hair was pulled back into a pony tail that reached half way down his back I looked at his face and was surprised to see that he was clean shaven and only 20 at the oldest he grabbed my shoulder roughly and squatted down in front of me. “Are you lost?” he asked in a voice that was smooth and even but was tainted with a deep understanding. I nodded shaking visibly beneath his grip he held my hand and placed a twenty dollar note in it “not all people are cruel” he said kindly “where are you from?”
“A...A...Alice Springs” I replied shakily
“Well that is a long way away. Where are your parents?”
“H.... home my brother used to drug me when they were fighting so I wouldn’t have to see. My dad probably left me here so he didn’t have to put up with me anymore.” I hung my head and looked at my feet. He stood up “oi Jim put a packet of Smiths on my tab for this little lady” he yelled and left the shop. I stared after his leather clad back as he headed down the street occasionally the head lights of a passing care would outlining him then he’d be gone again.
I ran in the opposite direction still shaking from my encounter with the biker man. The last encounter id had with a biker had resulted in me being drugged and rapped, when I was 7 years old. I’d only just stopped having the nightmares.
I kept running until my legs ached and my lungs were on fire. I was at a small park in the middle of Sydney. Sitting on one of the benches I tore open my packet. I started eating handful after handful of those salty chips they were so good I finished the packet quickly and put it in the bin. I stood up slowly stretching a crick in my back before getting starting to walk again.
A smell caught my attention it was the smell of alcohol I was only eleven but I’d had my fair share of drinking to numb the pain of my parents fighting and my constant nightmares and the flashback of the beatings I used to get. I could see the source of the smell a group of 13 to 15 year old boys were drinking around a fire pot I walked slowly, carefully getting closer to them. One of them turned and saw me “hey look what we got here boys a little run away” he slurred beckoning me closer to the fire. I stumbled forward slowly “hi” I said shyly coming closer to the group.
“Wanna drink?” a boy with scraggy dark hair and nicely tanned skin asked handing me a bottle. I sniffed at it and took a mouthful it burnt the back of my throat painfully and I started coughing and gagging. “’ay Rats don’t ‘ive her da strong stuff ya’ll kick out ‘er pretty lil’ lights” said another of the gang he looked to be around 14 or 15 he had straight teeth and a nice smile that filled his eyes “ya ‘k?” he asked me his voice full of concern. I nodded coughing again he handed me a bottle of water and a lemon “ suck on da lemon then fill ya mouth with water it’ll ‘elp” I did as he told me and felt better instantly
“What was that?” I asked
“Straight ‘n’ pure vodka” laughed the one they called Rats
“Normally the ‘oung girls like you can’t stand dat stuff they tummies puke it up instantly” laughed the boy who’d given me the water I shrugged “I’ve been drinking since I was about 7 I think it was” I stepped shyly closer to the boy who had just spoken to me. “Who are you?” I asked the boy with the water.
“we” he said loudly gesturing to his band of boys “we is da adults worsetest nightmare we are da defiance of juveniles” he finished proudly as the boys hooted and whistled loudly “I is Tiger leader of dese cut throat ‘un aways, and you is?”
“I’m Janey” I replied quietly
“Well Janey” he chuckled “ya is now one of us” he grinned evilly and I shrank away from him slightly “and ta celebrate a joint of our finest pot” I watched as Rats started digging in a bag he pulled out something that looked slightly like a cigarette “what's that” I whispered watching him put it in his mouth and light it as if it were just a smoke. “Dat a joint” tiger whispered back
“What’s a joint?” everybody must have heard me ask because they turned to stare at me
“betcha she aint never heard of no morphine neither” said a tall boy with blonde hair and 3 lip rings on one half of his mouth “I have actually my brother used to force it into me” I said huffily crossing my arms and glaring at the boy roughly “lay off da pretty gal slime” said rats
“Well? What is it?” I asked again
“Marijuana” said the boy called slime just as it was passed my way. I put it carefully in my mouth and breathed in the strange smoke a few times then passed it on everyone started laughing and we all went a little light headed. Rats and Slime started dancing together and poor Tiger started kissing the boy next to him thinking it was a girl I had never laughed so much in my life the boys face was horrified as if somebody was trying to feed him a bucket full of mucus with a ladle.
A few hours later after we’d settled down I was introduced to the rest of the boys besides Rats and Tiger. There was Samson who was gay and had joined the gang because his parent where homophobic and had thrown him out of his home. He had gentle brown eyes that slopped slightly, hinting at a Japanese origin. His hair was short and spiked out around his head sharply, his lips where full and his teeth were white and straight he looked like he should have been a model. Then there was Lion whose large green eyes seemed to be alive with movement just like a jungle they were lush and deep like untouched paradise. His hair was golden in the firelight and it curled out around his head like a lion’s mane hinting where his name had come from. He spoke with a quiet and gentle voice that had a hidden viciousness behind it. There was a set of twins by the names of Ghost and Takehito both names had been chosen by them. Takehito I was told never spoke to anyone but Ghost. Ghost had pure white hair which seemed natural because his eyebrows were also white he had deep red lips and dark haunted eyes that he lined in eyeliner which made him appear mysterious he had a slow way of speaking but a fast jittery way of moving just like a sparrow in flight. Takehito had a very girl like body with a small waist and gently sloping hips. His face was different to Ghosts in many ways they had the same eyes but his cheek bones where higher and less sharp. His hair was dark and long tied back in a plait the reached to his lower back, when it got caught in the firelight his hair seemed to be a mix of black and blonde with a hint of red. And last of all there was Slime he was pale with freckles and his pink hair seemed out of place among the other boys. His three lips rings sat on the left side of his mouth and his septum piercing hung crooked in his nose when he grinned you could see his lost teeth his lip rings where black purple then pink and all a different type of ring. He had and evil snare which he seemed to use only on me when I approached him.
After the fire had died I went back to the gang’s place which was an old warehouse near downtown Sydney. It was warm but gloomy inside and we all just crashed in any bed we could find. That was my first night in Sydney. I was 9 years old. Staying in a warehouse, with boys in downtown Sydney.
Chapter 2
I could hear crashing noises like people walking around in the dark. I opened my eyes slowly they felt strange and sluggish. It was dark, like midnight. I rolled over slowly and fell off of my bed. Sitting up slowly my head started swimming and my sight blurred slightly. There was movement from the bed I’d fallen off of. “Tiger?” I called my voice thick with sleep there came a slightly muffled reply. As if I’d woken up whoever had been in the bed with me.
“oi lass keep it downs a lil wouldn’t ya I is trying to sleeps up ‘ere,” came lions voice as he peeked his curly head over the edge of the bed. he was still in the same top he had worn yesterday that smelt slightly like smoke.
“Sorry Lion,” I said yawning “say did we ya know do anything we shouldn’t of.”
“Lassie I wouldn’t stand for none of these here boys even looking at an ‘oungen like you that way,” he said slightly hurt.
“Sorry you go back to sleep,” I said quietly as he lay back down. I crawled to what looked like a door and looked down. A set of steps was set into the wall and went down 3 flights before coming into contact with the floor of the warehouse. I walked down the stairs quietly as I could but they creaked and groaned under my light weight. I got to the floor and turned to what seemed like a bathroom door and opened it. There standing naked and wet in the middle of the room was Takehito only he wasn’t a he, it was a she. She had a towel around her body and her hair hung in limp curls to her waist. Her eyes were shocked and afraid as I stood there gawking. “You’re not a boy?” I said tipping my head to the side watching her. Her hands snaked out as she dragged me into the bathroom
“Please please please don’t tell the boys,” she begged me in a voice that sounded like the first snowfall of winter.
“I won’t Takehito, I promise on my life,” I said taking her hands slowly.
“Thankyou,” she said hugging me tightly against her.
“No wonder you never speak your voice is so beautiful,” I smiled at her. She blushed and pushed me back out of the room and shut the door.
I was still a little shocked from the encounter with Takehito. I started looking around for the kitchen and noticed that even with 3 floors to rest on everyone except for Lion Tiger and I seem to sleep on the ground floor, on the couches or bean bags that were scattered around.
The kitchen was just a large room with two sinks, cupboards, a fridge, and a cook top stove. I opened the fridge to find it completely empty I slammed it shut sighing heavily. Shrugging I walked back to the stairs. Just as Tiger was starting his way down “isn’t there any food in this place?” I whispered up to him. He grinned and threw me down a bag of apples.
“Dat’s ya brekkie,” he grinned walking back up the stairs to his room.
“Thank you!” I called up to him a little too loudly.
“Shut up,” came Slime’s voice from the couch as a pillow slammed into the back of my head I picked it up and slowly stalked over to Slime. I raised the pillow above my head and slammed it down on his sleeping face. He reached up trying to take a swing at me, but I dodged and ran back up to Lion’s room.
I’ve now been staying with the gang for three days. Every night we drink and smoke weed, some of the other boys use ecstasy and ice. But they would never let me touch the harder drugs which they did. I slept in Lion’s room most nights on one side of the bed in a sleeping bag completely separate from him. Some nights I would sleep in Takehito and Ghosts room, they would sing Japanese lullabies that their mother had taught them.
I started to notice and watch how members of the group interacted and how they looked at each other. Poor Samson who was gay seemed to be in love with Takehito. That would have been hard for him because he didn’t know that Takehito was a female. Everyone thought that Takehito was gay too or bi sexual as they called it because they had seen her kissing girls. I asked Takehito what she was and she said that she was pansexual “What’s that?” i remember asking
“It’s where you don’t mind which gender you just fall in love with somebody for who they are inside it doesn’t matter what they look like it’s all about soul and personality,” I smiled kissed her cheek and went to help tiger repair his bed which had broken last night somehow. It was a relaxed life with the gang we rarely had jobs other than to repair broken things hunt down money in gutters or clean up the bottles we left anywhere.
That was until the accident.....
Chapter 3
It was just an average day foggy from the harbour with the sun shining weakly through the grey mist. Tiger and I were on the roof fixing up some tiles that had fallen off. Somebody shouted from the ground, it was Ghost saying that Takehito had gone into town. I was looking over the city holding the roofs peak carefully as if I had been born to live on a roof. “Pigs on the way” yelled Tiger spotting a cop car heading our way “hide!” he yelled down. I scuttled through the skylight on to the platform but Tiger didn’t follow there was a scream and the sound of tiles falling and shattering. “Help Janey” I climb out of the skylight again fast to see tiger hanging on the edge of the roof with his hands
“Hang on crap, Lion” I screamed out his name louder than the rest of the sentence I let myself slide down most of the roof and caught at one of the few exposed rafters I grabbed Tigers wrist and tried to pull him up but all I could do was help him stay up a bit better I wasn’t strong enough. “LION!” I screamed again struggling with Tigers weight as his body dangled 4 stories above the harsh pavement “don’t let go please Lions coming” I started crying as I held on tightly.
“I’m sorry Janey” he whispered as his fingers slipped off the edge “take care of Ghost and Takehito tell Takehito I love her.” he let go everything started going in slow motion. He fell slowly down through the air the cop car pulled up just as he hit the ground his body bounced as every bone in his body broke blood spurted from his mouth and limbs as the pavement mangled his beautiful face. The blood pooled slowly around him slowly the cops where shocked as one of them called the ambulance the other looked up at me on the roof.
Chapter 4
All the gang stood huddled in front of the police only I had watched Tiger die. Lion had only seen him after his body had settled on the bed heading for the morgue. I had found Takehito and told her Tigers last words, she cried in my arms. The police had raided the house and only found our alcohol. They couldn’t find the drugs that where hidden in the floor of Tigers room. Only Tiger and I had ever known how to get it out of his floor. Takehito was sitting near me, her hair was a tangled mess from fighting with Lion, he hadn’t fought back but he had needed to deflect her from his face. He was scratched and bleeding slightly. Everyone knew now that Takehito was a girl Samson was holding her. Even though he was gay he still loved her. He was telling her this and that he’d always love her even if she was a girl. If it hadn’t been a sad occasion I have a feeling he would have been teased for sure. The police had brought us out the front of the warehouse. We’d never stolen anything, the only thing we could get in trouble for was underage drinking but that wasn’t too bad. Takehito and Ghost where trying to persuade the police that they didn’t need to go into an orphanage. Samson was calling his family, and Lion was being interviewed. I was hiding behind Slime who was protecting me from the police. He may have hated me, but he didn’t want to see me taken back to my abusive family. He had been abused as a kid too, drugs had been tried on him and his step father and mother used to beat him. He’d been hospitalised several times because of them.
“We need to send her back to her family” said a young police officer to Slime
“NO!” he shouted “I WON’T LET HER GO BACK TO THEM.”
“Do you want to become her guardian then?” said a young woman with short red plaits and a porcelain face.
“If it stops her going back to that abuse yes I’ll take her”
“Very well” she said handing him some papers. “you’ll get child rights and money every week”
“Thanks” he muttered snatching the papers.
After all the commotion Slime and I had moved what little possessions we had into a small one bedroom apartment. We had the bedroom set up with bunk beds single on top double on the bottom. Slime usually left me to myself he brought home food and some drinks every day we only brought food to eat on that day. Usually it was chips or fish if we had enough money every now and again we would get KFC but that was very rare. One day Slime never came home, I sat on the couch for three days reading book after book. But he never came home, I was alone again.

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Tag der Veröffentlichung: 04.07.2011

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