Chapter 1 “The Ranch”
Hey! I'm Jill, I want to tell you an awesome story. You’re probably thinking wait I don't know you at all (or at least that's what you’re thinking now). Well then your just going to have to meet me. I'm Jill Bardwick, I'm 15 years old and was born May 13, 1994. I have chestnut hair and bright blue eyes. And a stunning smile (it completes everybody). Well now that you know who I am I'll tell you where I live (more like just moved to). I live in California, along a great country side and a town ten minutes away, from my house. I've always wanted a horse but they're to $$$ (expensive). So instead I go to a place called Wild Flower Ranch, it's awesome and just five minutes before you get to town.

I go there every chance I get. The reason the Ranch is that name is because wild flowers are everywhere, in every season. All the horses love the meadows with their oak trees, aspens, and maples as well as sweet grasses to graze on for hours. And the bunches of wild flowers scattered here and there and everywhere. This is the day I meet Wild Flower Ranch. “ Mom, are you home?”
“ Yes honey, I'm in the kitchen making potato salad!”
“ I just got home from school and I heard there was a ranch almost just before you reach town.”
“Ah huh!”
“ Mom, did you hear me?”
“ Oh, I'm sorry, a ranch you say?!”
I looked happy she new nothing could keep me away from horses.
“ Well why don't we sign you up for lessons!”
Oh and I thought I could just pet them, no sir-e now I would get to have lessons. “ Mom, your the best! Thank you!”, I said as if I would explode of happiness. “ But remember sweetie I know how short your temper is.....well just don't get into trouble.”
After my mom was done cooking I got on some worn converse, jeans, and a t-shirt and she drove me to the Ranch. When I saw all the horses I screamed (then I realized I wasn’t the only one there) blushing I shut my mouth and walked around, this was like a dream come true. The stables were really nice so were the workers and managers that managed the place. My mom had to fill out some papers and I didn't want to sit and wait (boooorrrringgg!!!!). So I sneaked out of the office and toward the stables. I counted every stall and came up with exactly 100 horses. I stood in shock at how many. I knew I would make a lot of new furry friends.
My mom came out of the office and said “ It's all set! You start lessons tomorrow.” I screamed inside with excitement (why wouldn't I, it's awesome). On the way back home, I thought about the Ranch. After I did homework, ate dinner, and watched a movie I brushed my teeth and went to bed. That night I dreamed about the Ranch, I was riding one of God's most beautiful horses. A bay paint with deep brown eyes and a blond mane and tail.
I knew once I woke up that horse would be mine. I got up early and made breakfast I ate quickly and went to school. I did my homework at school then walked to the Ranch, it was beautiful that day, perfect for riding. Once I got to the Ranch I went to the office to use the phone. To tell my mom where I was so she wouldn't worry (you know how mothers are).
Well now that I was here I changed to my riding clothes. And went down the isle of stalls and found the horse of my dreams (I couldn't believe it). I asked the stable boy if I could ride her. He said,” So your the new girl, well I'm Andrew, Andrew Davids.” I looked at him he looked nice,” I'm Jill Bardwick and this horse is incredible! I love the way her deep brown eyes stare into your own. Full of understanding and meaning and independence.
He looked at me then the horse “ Ya, she's a beauty and we got her in yesterday, she's a mustang so she's not trained yet. And she doesn't have a name...” I looked at her again and before I knew what I was talking about I said,” I can train her! And when she's trained I could give her a name.”
“Well she does need training....I hope you know what your doing...one mistake and she could be ruined for life.” I felt my whole body burst into happiness,” I promise I won't let you down she'll be the finest horse in the state of California!”
I stared right into the beautiful horses eyes. She stared into mine for a bit then started to buck. I backed off then ran in the tack room to get a lead rope, grooming supplies and treats. I groomed her until she was more beautiful than the sun and then tried getting her in the coral. After a long four weeks I could make her gallop in a circle and surprisingly she did a full gallop over and over till I was so dizzy and had to stop. Then a shinny silver Mercedes came up the drive way. Playing pop music and a girl was singing way off key. She looked a little older than me and had blond hair and brown eyes she looked like a rich brat, but I didn't want to start (even though I knew we probably wouldn't get along).
She stepped out of the car with a pink i-pod and the most beautiful riding outfit I'd ever seen. I was looking at her in shock.” What are you looking at gawky girl!?”, she said very rudely. I was almost going to take a whack at her when another girl looking my age stepped out of the car. She said,” Sister, don't say that! Your more gawky than she is!” And her sister walked of in a storm.“ I'm sorry she's such a brat, at least you don't have to live with her. I'm Abby Brooks and that's
Scarlet...my...sister.” I stood there with a smile,” I'm Jill Bardwick, and you know something this is the second time I had to introduce myself. But I'm new just like you and your...sister.” She laughed,” I know we're going to be good friends, that's if you want to be?”
“ Yes! Of course we'll be friends, and I hope we'll be friends forever. Like a BFF. I'm glad to have made a friend.”

Chapter 2 “Rainy”

Part one for training my soon-to-be horse was finished. I changed back into my regular clothes, walked over to that beauty of a horse and said,” I love ya girl, goodnight.” I was just about to leave when Andrew came up and said,” I could give you a ride home if you want.” I accepted because I didn't know what could be along the road at night (Since it was getting dark and my house was a little bit away).
It seemed like the ride was forever and very silent, then Andrew said,” Jill how old are you?” I was surprised that the silence was broken, but didn't show it.“ I'm 15 then 16 next year, why?”
“ Oh I like comparing ages, like I'm 17 and 18 next year.” (rightttttt)
Then he told me all the basic stuff about himself and his life. “ So, what about you and your...life?”
“ Well, ever since I was born I've loved horses, and my father used to train them, I loved him too! When I was 7 I could ride a horse and good. He was invited on an overnight trail ride, so I begged him to let me go. He thought about it and said yes I was excited all day. I got on a Palomino he rented for me her name was, Topaz. I really got attached to her. Well anyway, we were on the trail and my dad told me not to wonder off. But my horse was thirsty and there was a lake sort of near by. I galloped over there.
I halted Topaz and let her drink, then suddenly I could hear whinnies. I got on my horse, by a stump and a herd of mustangs coming over a hill, started chasing me and my dad and his friends. Then the mustangs started bucking and running faster than before. I looked back and there was a grizzly bear but my dad and his friends didn't see it.“ Crazy horses,” my dad said chuckling, then the bear ran up and whacked me off Topaz and she went bucking away with a scar on her flank. I was knocked out so cold I didn't move, my dad thought I was dead. He got out his shotgun but the bear was really upset so he pawed and clawed at my dad. His friends, not knowing what else to do, (They didn't bring their guns since they didn't think they'd run into anything).
By the time they got back my dad was mostly dead and I was hurt badly, but alive. Then I opened my eyes, confused and weak I fell back to sleep. In the hospital that night I had a dream of what my dad said to me. I told him weakly,” Dad, I'm sorry I didn't tell you the bear was coming. I thought it would go away.” He said deep breathing,” Honey, it's not your fault.”
“ Dad but it is!”
“ Sweetheart, your 7 years old and I.....I love you.”
Then he was gone and I cried myself to sleep. I was crying and Andrew said,” Oh, Jill I'm sorry, I didn't know. I'm sorry...it must've been hard on you.”
“ Yes! It was. Very hard...for my mom and me...very hard.”
I was still thinking about my dad when we reached my house. “ Thanks Andrew, I appreciate the ride.”
“ No prob! Need a ride any time I'm here, just call me.”
“ I'll do that!”
Then I went inside and he drove away.
“ Mom, I'm home!”
“ Good! Your just in time for dinner. Who drove you home?”
“ Oh, some boy who works at the Ranch.”
“ I see!”
The next day I was late for my lesson at the Ranch because I had to do an extra credit project for school. At least I could go at all I walked to my beauty of a horse and decided to name her Rainy (right out of the blue). I liked it and when I told Rainy her new name she whinnied with delight.
I started galloping her and trotting too! Today it was hot again, and there was very little shade but clouds looked like they were closing in. I wanted to rest so I sat on a water bucket in the shade of a cherry tree. Then Rainy started to buck and whinny, Andrew started running and shouted,” Jill! Watch out!” But it was to late, Rainy accidentally stomped on my right arm (which was fiddling with a piece of grass on the ground). I screamed out in pain, it felt broken and it was blue/purple and bleeding almost constantly. She pushed me aside with her head and stomped on the ground next to the water bucket.
I couldn't balance myself as I wobbly started walking toward the stables and fell on a sharp broken corner on the water trough and cut my leg and side. I screamed again and fell on the ground (everything felt slow-mo) I shut my eyes dealing with the pain. Andrew rushed to me and scolded Rainy, telling her to back off. But she pushed him out of the way and came to me and laid down by my side. Andrew's mind was made up that he couldn't convince her to go. Curiously, he went to go look by the water bucket and there was a baby rattle snack.“ Thank goodness she didn't get bit by that, and in a sense Rainy saved her! Rainy...you saved her life.” But not wasting anymore time saying things out loud he ran into the nurses office to get medical equipment.
Everyone else was gone on a trail ride so Andrew and I were the only people there. He was taught basic and advanced medical techniques from his dad, so he moved me into the nurses office on the table. Then it started to storm (from the clouds moving in earlier) and the phone lines blew (from the lightning) so he couldn't call 911 or my mom. He got a cloth from one of the nurses drawers then ran to the lodge and filled a stainless bowl with water from the Nikon water jug. He dipped the cloth in cool water and dabbed my wounds hoping the blood would stop. Then he mixed peroxide with a little water (to clean my wounds) and poured it on my wounds, I screamed because the peroxide stung. He noticed a shared of metal stuck in my leg and pulled it out with tweezers, I screamed again and then after he wet my wounds again with peroxide he bandaged them. “ Wow Jill, you're hurt really bad. I mean I've seen someone get cut pretty bad, but not like this!” He felt my forehead “ Oh, no! She's burning up!” He felt my wrist for a pulse. “ Her heart rate is lowering every minute. Come on Jill! Stay with me here!”
Next morning I was worse, and it was still storming plus the phone lines still weren't working. In the next hour my heart stopped,” NO JILL! NO! Don't die on me, come on!” He dipped the cloth in just plain cool water and wet my wounds and put on fresh new bandages. Then for six hours he kept cooling me down with ice and water to see if my fever would go down. He knew I wasn't doing good at all, he looked at me and said,” Jill, I may not know you very well, but please don't die. Well here goes nothing.” He leaned down, came close to my face and kissed me.
I opened my eyes, even though I was weak and said,” Thank you, Andrew!” He looked surprised but said,” Don't mention it.” I went back to sleep, he felt my forehead again,” Her fever broke just with a kiss.....well, maybe it's magic or a miracle.” The next day the phone lines were working so they were fixed and Andrew called 911 and my mom. The good news is that I'm going to be OK, thanks to Andrew. The bad news is my mom said I can never ride Rainy at Wild Flower Ranch ever again, because she didn't believe me (that Rainy saved me). Well mom, we'll just see about that I'll ride her someday!
I was aloud to pick a place to make up and do schoolwork and I wanted it to be the lounge in Wild Flower Ranch. So every day I spent the night there and did schoolwork in the mornings. Andrew saw me everyday, once he even gave me flowers, they were lilies (my favorite flower). Abby came to see me too,” I know who has a crush on Andrew!”
“ Who!?”
“ My sister! But I talked to him and he can't stand her. He also said he liked somebody else, but she's still desperately hopeful. So, how are you?”
“ Oh, can't complain.” Abby brought me flowers too, they were gardenias mixed with daises and little pink roses. I love both my gorgeous posies.

Chapter 3 “Andrews Missing?!”

My body was still weak and recovering but I could sort of stand up for a little bit. I cried out every time when I put weight on my leg so I started to use crutches instead. My arm was broken in four places and I had a cast and sling. I was always tired now and didn't get much sleep sometimes (because of the pain and just being tired).
Then the phone rang, I walked toward it with my crutches,” Hello?”
“ Hi, this is Michael Korans, the owner of the Ranch. I just wanted to say that...”
“ Say what?”
“ That...Andrew..is-s...missing and well the only people who know about it are you, me, and Andrew's mom. And honestly out of all the people here, you're the only person he really does trust.”
He hung up the phone and I just stood there with absolute shock and worried, and I didn't have to look in a mirror to tell. It felt like Andrew was trying to tell me something a message or a signal. I knew I had to find him somehow or sometime soon or he could get lost or even hurt.
Abby came in, she had a happy grin on her face.“ Hi,” she said with excitement,” I really miss you around the Ranch. My sister keeps on saying that she's going to find Andrew. What does she mean, find Andrew? Do you know what she's talking about?” She looked at at me as if I had all the answers.“ Well,” I said truthfully,” Andrew is missing and that's probably why Scarlet wants to find him. But she can't! He wants me to, I can feel it.”
Me and Abby (but really me) were waiting for a call from someone, anyone. Then the phone rang,” Hello?”
“ Hi, this is Mrs. Davids, Karen Davids, Andrew's mom...anyway I wanted to tell you something. Um...the reason he ran away is because this morning Andrew and I had a fight. About his father and I having a divorce a week ago. He told me that since I yelled at his father sometimes that's why he left. I yelled back at Andrew telling him his father left because of the fights he got into. He said that wasn't true, that he was only trying to protect his father from insults. Then I screamed at him saying you false liar, I saw the fight you got into now cut it out.
He yelled at me and ran out the door, I'm sorry I have to load all this on you so suddenly but he probably would've told you anyway. “ I was shocked that he didn't tell me in the first place. I stood there again silent and speechless, on the phone with Andrew's mom,” Sweetheart are you OK?”
“ Oh ya, I'm fine!” I wasn't going to tell her that I was going after Andrew. I knew she was going to insist me to stay where I was. I told her thank you and goodbye, I hung up the phone. Abby was still there sitting on the couch behind me and she looked a little worried from my expressions constantly changing like something bad happened.
“ I need to go and find him Abby, he's probably lost,” I said frantically. She insisted that I stay here but that one helpless look on my face made her say,” But your injured and how are you going to find him in the state your in (that's not what I expected to hear).” I knew she was right, but I had to look for Andrew or I'd never sleep. “ Abby, I know that I'm hurt but please...just help me,” I said almost ready to cry.” Please Abby help me; we'll need some supplies; We need a cell phone, a first aid kit just encase, a flash light, a blanket, and clear minds to think.”
“ Well your mind isn't really thinking! Speaking of thinking, slow down and think!” Abby quickly snapped at me,” Your injured, it's almost 10 and you can't walk!” I stared at Abby, tears running down my face,” Look Abby, I know. I know I'm still injured, I know it's almost 10 and I know I can barely walk, just give me a chance. I might know of some places where Andrew would go or hide.”
“ Just listen to me!” she said almost screaming but walking out the door at the same time,” NO! Just stay right there and I'll be back I need to take a quick pit stop...just stay there!” She ran as fast as she could since the restrooms were around the lounge (which gave me plenty of time to escape and go on my rescue mission). I laughed and then hurriedly went to work, I packed my back pack with stuff I thought would come in handy. Then I limped toward the stables and hurriedly got Rainy ready for our rescue mission. I lead her outside to the fence, I painfully climbed up the fence and gave myself a boost (I held in my scream) and then galloped away on Rainy. We galloped into the darkness not knowing what was ahead of us.
Now thinking about it my arm was really starting to hurt from giving myself a boost onto Rainy's back. But I had to stay focused, the most important thing right now was to rescue Andrew then I could worry bout myself. Where would Andrew go...exactly.“ Do you know where he is girl? You know his sent girl, follow it. Please find him girl, please he doesn't know what he's doing we have to find him. Just lead the way."

Chapter 4 “The Search”

Rainy and I were still searching for Andrew, I shined a flashlight around. It was pitch black and suddenly very cold. Then before I knew it I could hear thunder and something extremely wet hit my forehead. Oh No! It can't rain now! A clap of thunder sounded and rolled through the forest's quite silence. Lightning bolted and flashed across the sky lighting it up with a purple glow. Then it disappeared and Rainy stopped (I didn't blame her I would've stopped since I was starting to get spooked).
“ What's wrong girl? Do your legs hurt? I'm sorry but we have to-,” I stopped then looked out at the river it was pretty wide and very long you could hear it rumbling along. But then I looked down at the creek bank, and there was Andrew lying still half on the bank and half in the water. He was soaking wet and had a bleeding bruise on his head at first I thought he was dead but then I figured he just lost consciousness. I bet he tried to cross the river and hit his head on that branch and then fell off the unstable looking bridge and the river washed him up on the shore.
I rushed to him and picked out the first aid kit from my pack I dipped a corner of the towel in river water and dabbed his head. Then I wrapped his head with clean bandages, I wrung out the water in the towel then put it around him for some sort of warmth. I balanced him on my shoulders (even though the pain was more than I could bear) I gave him a boost on Rainy and since I didn't have enough strength to boost myself up I lead Rainy and Andrew through the rain. Rain was flying at my face like someone throwing knives but I trudged on. Creepy noises came from every which where.
We were all searching for a dry spot to stay the night, I could feel the branches scraping my face. But, after what seemed forever I bumped into a wall (I was shocked to have hit something and not even really know it). “ Rainy stay here. I'm going to come back and find a dry spot for you!” Rainy neighed as if saying “ditto!”, I laughed.
I let go of her reins and traced the wall with my finger tips limping all the way, Andrew was balanced on my shoulders again and I did my best to see if I could find the door. Then the wall caved-in to a door, I felt around and found a door knob. All I saw was darkness but it seemed dry, I tripped on the door way and almost lost my balance but I caught myself. My eyes adjusted and I could make out a fireplace. I gently placed him on the floor and went back to close the door.
I ran back to the fireplace (so I could warm Andrew up) and accidentally hit my head on the fireplace. I screamed clutching my head almost ready to pass out, I got up slowly and felt around for the mantel, I found it. Then I felt around for possible matches and to my surprise I found them. It must've been dusty because I sneezed and hit my head on the mantle, I passed out on the floor. I woke up ' I did it again, didn't I' I thought then I opened the matches, lit one and threw it in the fire place for light. I gathered some pine needles that were already inside and threw them on the match, it lit and I could see wood already stacked next to the fireplace.
Once I was finished making a fire and getting Andrew comfortable, I went outside to help Rainy. “ Rainy!” I yelled out into the darkness, thunder and lightning streaked the sky, I heard a whinny and ran toward it. Tracing up from her rump to her ears I found the reins. I then felt around and felt a gate (it must've been a coral with a little barn) I let her inside and the lightning showed me she was inside and safe. “ Night girl,” I said softly she nickered a goodnight and I shut the gate and found my way back inside. I opened the door and found Andrew awake. “ Hi! Glad to see your awake.”
“ What's going on Jill and where am I.....Jill? Jill?! What are you doing here?! Your still really hurt!” he said with extreme concern. “ When your mom called me and told me what happened I was worried some I came looking for you,” I said worriedly. “ Well you didn't- wait what's that,” he said looking at my head. “ I guess it's from when I hit my head twice on the fireplace. OUCH! Now come to think of it it really hurts. I better fix it up,” I said tiredly almost collapsing on the floor.

Chapter 5 “Confession”

 “ No, here let me. Since I was the reason you hit your head in the first place,” he smiled and got out some ointment and a roll of bandages.
“ Thanks, oh my goodness I'm so tired!”
“ Welcome to my world, ya I'm tired and have chills,” he said shivering.
” It's kinda like half and half like cream and milk half and half,” I said laughing, Andrew was laughing a little too (So what if it was corny! At least I got him to laugh! :D ). I was glad that I could cheer him up from all the gloom that had been happening.
“ Here I'll put the bandage on your head now. Just relax and we can talk tomorrow morning,” he said calmly. As I closed my eyes the firelight and Andrew faded from my view. After I started to settle into sleep, a dream started. The way it started out was Rainy and I were galloping across open fields and hills. Then galloping like the wind, Andrew on his steed Pistachio galloped by me with a smile (just for the record Pistachio is a dapple gray stallion with deep brown eyes).
Then in the rising of the sun we dismounted our horses and I could see the silhouette of our faces smiling and then leaning together. Just a little bit closer a little closer turn your head just a-. “ Jill, wake up it's time for breakfast. Come on do I have to wake you up myself?” Andrew said mischievously. I heard his footsteps come near me and to my surprise he picked me up (blanket and all). He carried me outside and riped the blanket off my warm body. “ Okay, Okay I'm awake! Literally I am.”
“ Good, cause breakfast is ready and yours is getting cold.”
I was laughing cause of how I pictured my shocked face and I caught a glance of Andrew give a little chuckle behind his back.
My smiling face could tell that I was happy this morning and at this point in my life it felt “SWEET!” to be me. Breakfast was silent but hearty, then once we were finished Andrew and I collected a special breakfast for Rainy. As she munched on her breakfast I brought up something I knew Andrew didn't want to here, but I had been waiting to say it and knew now was as good a time as ever. “ Why?” Andrew looked at me with a gloomy expression. I hated it when he looked sad so instead I said, “ Why do we keep hurting ourselves?” Andrew sort of caught on and laughed along with me. Then he made a small smile and I decided to get to the point.
“ But really why? Why didn't you tell me you got in fights? That you have a dad, that your dad and mom are divorced. Most of all why did you...lie...to me?”
“ Jill you don't really understand-”
“ Understand. Understand what? What I really don't understand is you!”
“ Come on Jill, let me talk first then you can yell at me all you want, unless you want me to come back!”
I was silent ready to hear what he had to say (I love him I don't want to not ever see him again).
“ Guess I should start from the very beginning...huh?
I looked at him a little harshly (a little to harshly (dang face just look blank and listen!)).
“ Anyway, my dad used to work as a mailman...or so I thought. One day after school I was walking home and in an alley I saw some kids beating up on a weaker younger looking kid. I went down there and they all got up in my face saying I was a softy, next thing I knew they were pushing me telling me “ Let's go! You wanna do this? Now we do this, now!” They started punching me pretty hard then I started punching back and knocked out one of them. They still started to beat up on me except for one guy. I saw he flipped open his cell phone, then after he was done making a call he and the other guys took off. The one knocked out and bleeding was still on the ground along with the kid they were beating up on (who started running away) and before I could take off a police car cornered me. The driver stepped out of the front, looked at the ground then looked back at me. I thought Crap! they framed me. He slammed me to the front of the hood of his car and linked on hand cuffs “ Your under arrest and have the right to remain silent.” Then I started struggling as much as I could and trying to tell him what really happened. Then next thing I know he starts calling to his buddy, in the passenger seat to help.
And to my everlasting shocked face.....it was my dad. As he was getting out of the car he said,” What's the matter ya can't handle a bloody crimin-” He stopped as he looked at my face and realized I was his son. My dad didn't say a thing as we drove to the police station. When we got there after two hours and a half in a jail cell he finally spoke up. He told them that I was his son and that he would pay the charges. All the police officers there were shocked probably thinking, Why didn't he say anything before, if he's his own son.
They unlocked my cell and led me out to my dads car. I was starting to tell him what really happened when he said,” Save it! I don't want to hear about it. That you were even involved with something like this makes me sick!”
I said in a raised angry voice,” Well you know what! You were the one that lied to mom and me. Ha, a mailman who's a cop, who locks his son in jail, doesn't believe his story, and is ashamed to look at him. If you think I'm worse than you then look in a mirror.”
He yelled at me so loud and so rough I jumped out of the car and ran home. I had so much bitterness and to much anger inside me, all I felt was hate.
Next day at school I figured out the news had spread, that I was a criminal, which I wasn't. And that my dad was a mean heartless liar of a cop. People whispered bad stuff behind my back and to me when they passed me. All the bullies beat up on me since they wanted to and since they heard I was a criminal, they thought I was trying to be tough. But even though I didn't love my dad right then, I stood up for him. I was getting into way to many mean fights and coming home with a bloody face or a bloody face and a black eye, I did my best to fight back but it didn't do any good I was so tired from having no sleep about that day.
My mom found out the fights weren't accidents, and she also found out that my dad was a cop. That day when I came home from school my mom and dad were having an argument and not just about fixing the kitchen sink but a really bad loud argument. I went straight to my room and tried not to hear but their room was close to mine so I heard every word. Tears streamed down my face because I knew today my family would be ripped in two, I hate to admit it but I do cry. I started to pray. My dad yelled that he was leaving forever and never coming back. My mom yelled with tears and ran into their room and slammed the door. I ran down stairs.
When my dad saw my red watered tear stained face he ran out the front door and has been gone ever since. My mom was so solemn after that, she never laughed or smiled. At school soon I became invisible, know one paid any attention to me. Know one talked to me and I myself was fading from who I was inside. Then when I meet you, something.....I don't know.........like came alive in me. I started to smile again and so has my mom and ever since I meet you.....I started to trust in God again and so has my mom, well a little.”
My eyes were filled with tears. Tears of joy happiness, love, pity sadness, longing, hurtfulness, and anger all at the same time. I couldn't speak I just moved closer to Andrew and hugged him and he hugged me back (I knew it would make him feel better). We let go with a smile of understanding, of what we were going through. “ Andrew,” I said chocking on tears but glad I was speaking,” I'm so sorry. I had...I..had know idea what so ever. I mean I don't know what to say. I thought that I was the only one that suffered in this world...well other than Jesus (Well I was very selfishly mistaken). All I can do to really thank you for trusting me and all...is this,” I gave him a small kiss on the cheek. He gave me look of shock but glowed and smiled. I smiled (not remembering my pain (it would spoil the mood) till it struck me).
I gathered my backpack with my “survival kit” inside and limped toward the door, stopping I turned myself in the direction of Rainy and limped toward her. Then I remembered something Andrew told me ( “ Jill, are you okay? Your face looks as pale a ghost!”
“ I'm fine, just a little cold, that's all.”)
But as I was limping towards the coral I collapsed, I could hear myself breathing hard and my heart beat barely thumping. My eyes started to close when I saw Andrew rushing toward me looking like he was screaming my name, but I couldn't hear. He scooped me up and placed me inside, then he started a fire and sat by my side the rest of the time. Next thing I knew I was having a flash back of the bear incident, then when Andrew thought I woke up I was really hallucinating that it was really happening. Andrew was so scared and worried we he saw me just sit up instantly and start screaming and talking (I learned this when Andrew told me once I finally woke up (wake up!)).
I woke up from a nightmare (it was scary ( I was trying to protect Rainy from getting killed but instead we both get killed by the darkness)). I looked around the room and my heart started to calm down but I couldn't see Andrew any where. “ Andrew? Where are you?”
“ Oh Jill, I'm so glad your okay...wait your not hallucinating? Are you?”
“ No...I don't think so...Why?”
“ No reason...I'll tell you latter. I was so scared you might die or something like the last time. But here you are, awake and rosy cheeked.”
I smiled then said,” How long have I been...out?”
“ Almost for six days, I was really worried but now I don't have to worry anymore.”
I smiled that someone ( Other than my Savior (I love you God! Thank you for watching over me)) cared about me. God and Andrew were both watching over me the entire time.

Chapter 6 “ First Kiss”

We all thought that it was about time we started to head home. Even though home didn’t sound very welcoming but we couldn’t just live in the forest (we could but I don’t know). Andrew got Rainy ready while I packed up me backpack (again), he gave me a boost onto her back. It was cloudy, cold and gray that morning and sun rays shown through the oak trees, aspens and pines. In spite of the ugly dull sky it was a beautiful day. Then Andrew gave himself a boost and swung up behind me, taking the reins he lead us off.

As he was giving himself a boost he caught me smiling and my eyes slightly twinkling (like never before). He got up and poked me in the back I turned around and before I knew I was kissing the guy that I always hoped I'd fall in love with. It wasn't some phony kiss it was an actual real kiss (it felt like I was in a trance and couldn't believe it was real). When we pulled apart we both smiled (are feelings for each other were obviously the same and I smiled more love sick then ever (I never thought anything like this would ever happen to me)).

We rode off into the lighted forest (Andrew, Rainy, and I). But the story doesn't end there, I mean I would say,” Well it better not or I'm going to kill the author and then make them write more. Cause this book is pretty darn good and interesting and I sort of like it!”

Chapter 7 “Sight Seeing”

As we rode through the endless forest we captured beautiful things in our memories. We stopped and had some black berries for a snack by a gurgling stream. We sat on mosey rocks next to the stream and ate our lunch looking out into the forest. Between the two large rocks next to us it dropped down into a waterfall which was about the height of ten 12” rulers. Putting my fingers through the icy glass like waterfall it felt like I was in a dream. The water parted and made new ripples in the beautiful glass pool below.

“ Having fun,” Andrew said sarcastically looking at me amusing myself. I nodded going along with his statement, we lazily picked ourselves up and boosted ourselves back on Rainy. It was one of those gray days you wanted to sit in a big comfy armchair with something hot to drink next to a fire place and read a good book. Rainy was really ready to go (she was being really hyper that morning), but she waited for us to give her the word. Birds were twittering in the coolness of the morning air and a white butterfly or two passed by our faces slowly going along.

The stream gurgled down into the river as if it was gurgling row-row-row your boat. Squirrels ran and jumped friskily up and down trees and along the trail. All the trees were decked in water droplets that the sun rays shown through making them look like diamonds. A crisp breeze blew and shook the trees making the droplets bomb onto the ground with a drip-drop-drip. Through the brush I could see a spotted fawn with a doe drinking from the river. They pricked up their ears and lifted their heads watching us passing by. They continued drinking peacefully after we were a little out of range. Suddenly I noticed a rustle and looked up in the trees and saw a dove looking down at us curiously and following us from branch to branch and flying some of the time. Now and then it stopped to see if it was being noticed and to wait up. “ Looks like we have a little guest!”
“ Oh, I do believe we do.” We started to coo to it and it cooed back, we laughed with delight. Finally the endless forest ended and we came to a wooden fence. A large flowered meadow with an endless fence caging itself in. The air was getting colder as I soon realized it was the third of December and Christmas would be here and frost and snow would cover the town. Rainy jumped over the fence giving us both a jolt forward (but it was probably the easiest way to get over the fence (unless we wanted to climb over it)).

She galloped swiftly across the acres of oaks and hills covered with flowers. What seemed miles of riding actually was longer than we thought. After hours we could see the Ranch in the distance (but we didn't hurry because honestly we weren't to thrilled to see it). We were welcomed with an angry worried crowd who looked a little glad and relived to see us. Andrew's mom and my mom rushed to us bawling, screaming, and stressed out.

“ Jill Corry Bardwick! What on earth were you thinking! I was worried sick! And your riding that horrible horse! Jill, I told you not to ride that horse! Look at you, still injured and dirty! You went without even telling a soul and without my permission! For riding that horse and worrying me to death and going into the wild without my permission...your grounded!For exactly a month! You don't get any privileges! And stay in your room!” she said angrily. I was honestly to tired to care or even try to care. Mom ripped me off Rainy and slid me into the back seat of our black Honda. I cried myself to sleep and didn't wake up (nor did I want to).

Finally I woke up from a nightmare of Rainy being taken away from me, soon I was scared it was true. Getting up I went to my door and turned the knob but it didn't open I shook it and shook it but it still wouldn't open I started stressing out and then remembered I was grounded. Then I rushed to my window but it was locked as well (Ha! No surprise). Not knowing what to do I went into my secret room (my mom has no idea I have it :D ) I lied down on the extra bed. Days passed and I did nothing but pray for a way out (anyway it doesn't matter just please, God! Get me outa here!). All I could do was sleep and wait for something (anything). I remembered finally that my cell phone was in my backpack. Flipping it open I saw four new messages and instantly new what I would do (call Andrew, duh!). His cell started ringing, it rung eight times and then went to an answering machine. Dang it! I called again and he picked up “Hey this is Andrew! Who is this?”
“ Andrew! Thank God you picked up. I've missed you a lot.”
“ Jill! Oh my gosh! Where are you? I tried your cell, but no one picked up.”
“ Oh...sorry I forgot my cell was in my backpack. My mom locked me in my room.”

“ Oh. Are you okay?”
“ I'm not okay, can you please help me get out of here.” The line got silent then he said ,” Okay, I'll help you. Since you helped me. I'll try to help, cause right now I'm locked in my room. Hang on let me check the window......It's open. Here I'm going to put my phone in my pocket.” I could hear his window open and him searching around for something (most likely rope). “ Okay, I have some rope and I'll be on my way.”
“ I'll wait for you, I can't go anywhere anyways.”
“ Okay, I'll be there in twenty minutes, I'll see ya latter.”
I came out of my secret room and waited on my bed and soon fell asleep. He tied the rope to his doorknob and lowered himself out of his window and lightly hit the ground (he told me about his escape when we started to run away). Then he ran as fast as he possibly could to my house, making sure to stay away from the roads encase anybody saw him. When he reached me house he saw my moms Honda in the garage he ducked and hid, at the corner left front of the house.

His back was against the front left corner of the house then he slid down and traced to the back of the house. Poking his head up he saw me laying on my bed, tapping the window I suddenly woke up and looked out the window and saw him. I smiled slipping the extra key under a crack below the window, he grabbed it and unlocked the window I slipped out and gave him a hug. Running in the forest (next to my house) he told me about his escape. “ So, why exactly did you want to escape? I mean I would want to but you sounded really worried on the phone.”

“ I wanted to escape because I had a nightmare that Rainy was being taken away from me because she was sick and dyeing. Knowing I had to do something I prayed, slept, and waited for some plan. And I knew you could help me take care of her if she really was sick.”
“ I'll help you, everything it takes...if she's sick.”
“ Thank you. It means a lot to me.”
“ Don't mention it. The reason I'm helping you isn't because you helped me it's because I want to help you anyway.”
We ran all the way to the Ranch (reason we were running was because it was getting cold and we had to keep our blood pumping). Finally we made it to the gate, jumping over it I could see the barn for the horses. Running faster I got to Rainy's stall, she was lying down eyes closed deep breathing. She looked pretty bad, and I knew that I would stay with her till she got better and I wanted to because I was crying. What if she dies? Snap out of it! Don't fill your mind with doubt! She'll get better, just pray and believe she will. Okay God, I trust you please help me to make Rainy better. Please God, I can't see her suffer and die. I trust you, that you'll help me. Guide my hands God, to heal her through you. Running around the rest of the day deep inside I had hope that she would get better.

Chapter 8 “Get Well Soon”
I stayed in her stall all night for about four days, just waiting and hoping and praying a miracle would come along. Wrapping her in a warm blanket and giving her warm water and clean oats gave me hope that she might get better. What if she dies? Snap out of it Jill! Rainy won’t die just believe in God and believe in Rainy, that she’ll make it. Calm down, breath.........................................now just believe. Still sleeping by her side I worried (even though I knew I should believe and trust) if she would get better or worse. For the first two days she stayed the same, unconscious and breathing deeply, and flinching now and then from never-ending heat that was within her. On the fifth day at three forty-five am she woke up conscious and breathing normal. Her boiling heat that caused the flinching subsided and now felt normal. I thanked God for this miracle (even though sadly I had some doubt). She slept soundly from fighting whatever was in her body and I slept (relieved) by her side. Crying happy tears I fell asleep thinking how great my God is. Every time I saw Rainy I gave her a hug (why wouldn’t I she’s my favorite, well other than Andrew :) ).

I love Rainy so much and just the thought of her dyeing I wouldn’t be able to go through life without her (but I knew if I had to I would try). Everyday I spent more time with her (for fear of loosing her when I wasn’t with her). Andrew spent time with both of us (which I was glad about as well (like I would want him spending his time alone. PSH! Ya like I’d want that)). The true place where I belonged was at the Ranch, not being locked up in my room (against my will (but I think it was somewhat wrong)). The cold air reminded me that Christmas wasn’t far off; snow started to fall from the grayish silver sky. The Ranch was decked in snow after hours and as icy cold as it felt it still was beautiful, so I stood there in the snow fall loving the way it touched me and then melted from my warmth.

The real reason why I love Christmas is because that’s when Jesus was born and I love to celebrate that. This year I thought that celebrating it at the Ranch would be an awesome idea, so I got to thinking and planing. I brought my backpack with me so I would have everything I needed and besides it was to important to leave in my room. Deciding that I would ask Andrew to give me a ride to town I was thinking about my mom for a split second only, then shook it away. Christmas shopping was a good excuse to step out of ranch life for a second and because I needed to (if I was throwing a party on Christmas).

Andrew accepted my offer and we both drove to town (since he left his truck at the Ranch). Lights shone everywhere making it colorful and bright to look at. Buildings were decorated with things here and there, because honestly less is more. What I loved most of all was the manger scene in the middle of Central Park Way (which is in the center of town). We were having a blast Christmas shopping, talking about past Christmases and cracking random jokes. After we were almost ready to go we went to a hot chocolate stand (since the temperature was dropping drasticly we needed a little something to warm us up). The chocolatey hot beverage rushed down our throats almost burning but a good burning, it warmed us both from our heads to our feet.

The last gift I wanted to buy, was for my mom; no matter how she’s treated me, I still love her so much. My heart was telling me to get her something special, like something dazzling yet simple. We looked around inside the stores, they had very nice jewelry but far to expensive, chunky, and to bling-bling. Finally we came to this modern vintage accessory shop, I skipped inside remembering my mother has always loved lockets. I browsed around piecing through the necklaces and finally I found the most perfect one, the heart was made out of white gold tinted with a small hint of blue. Bordering the outside edge was tiny diamond looking gems that shimmered in the light and so ironically it had her initials carved into the middle. I pictured her wearing it making it the center of attention (I loved that picture (in my mind)), and on the way back I found a picture wallet for Andrew made out of navy looking leather and red flames coming up from the bottom. Wondering where Andrew was I saw him at the door waiting with his hand mysteriously behind his back I was about to ask him what it was when I finished telling the clerk “Merry Christmas” but I knew it was Christmas and it might be a surprise.

Chapter 9 “Almost Christmas!”

So I bought the locket with free included gift wrap (yay! :P), I also went by the grocery store (on the way back to the Ranch) to buy some food for the Christmas party. We both went inside Andrew kept on joking around and bringing random stuff up to me (I just laughed every time I saw his innocent face coming up with a box of cereal or pickles). Then he disappeared and I honestly started to worry where he went I was so focused on worrying that when I was switching to go down another isle he popped out behind me and touched my shoulder. I swear my heart jumped straight out of my flesh,” OH MY GOSH!!! You scared me so bad I thought I was going to have a heart attack!” We stood there me with a total scared straight look on my face and him with a straight shocked face, then we started to laugh so hard I almost fell down which just made us laugh even harder. The last thing I knew I was back down on the floor laughing so hard I couldn’t breath and Andrew was slung over the cart, face red, laughing so hard I thought I would die. Finally we got ourselves together and finished food shopping. Then we hurried into the craft store next door wandering around for supplies to make paper decor and such.

As Andrew and I were walking back to his pick-up it started to snow.
“ Two days till Christmas,” I said softly, dazzled, looking into the dark grey sky at the drifting snow that fell down like sprinkles on a cupcake.
“ Ya, it seems like it went by so fast,” he said lightly hypnotized by me in the snow,” Merry Christmas, Jill.” We leaned in and I touched my forehead to his as he held me there eyes shut thanking God, Andrew was mine :). We drove to the Ranch in darkness and I convinced Andrew to stop by my moms house.
“ Jill, are you crazy?! Your mom is going to catch you.”
“ Andrew, it’s ok. I’m going to leave her present on the porch, ring the door bell and run. Piece of cake.”
“ Jill, I don’t think this is a good idea. Come on, you can give it to her tomorrow.”
I looked at the door longingly (but fearing she would lock me up again), wanting to jolt forward I decided to go back. Besides, I wanted to write a message and put a photo in the locket that I knew she would love forever.

We finally got back to the Ranch and we both unloaded all our supplies and ingredients to make it a wonderful Christmas Party. I looked both ways (making sure no one was around), I crept into an unused storage closet with a bunch of empty boxes, putting everything into the empty boxes I found a black tarp hidden in the corner. Grabbing the tarp I fluffed it out and covered the boxes with it, making sure it would most likely not be found. The next morning I slept in latter than usual. Groggily I woke up and turned on my phone surprised it was almost twelve. I slept in till five to twelve. I need more sleep.

Andrew came in happily,” Good morning, beautiful, I made you some hot chamomile tea.” I was so thankful Andrew was mine, he always made sure I was comfortable and relaxed. Tiredly I reached for the mug of tea and clutched it feeling the heat rush through my arms. Drinking my tea I went to “My Stuff” and then to “My Pictures” and found the very first picture I ever took with my very first cell phone. The picture had my mom and me hugging each other and looking straight into the camera.

Curiously I asked,” Hey Andrew?”
“ Yes?”
“ Is there possibly a mini photo printer in the office?”
“ Ya, I could go get it for you, if you like?”
“ Thanks.”
That’s really cool that it’s portable, a lot easier to. If she possibly comes or someone was to see it, I could hide it super easy. So I went into the kitchen and put my cell phone’s memory card into a flash drive that hooked up to the printer, I selected the picture and pressed “Print”. It printed out perfect, then with my crafty skills I cut out a heart with my mom’s head and mine hugging. The picture fit absolutely perfect in the locket (I was so glad because I wasn’t about to print out five more and cut them too).

I placed the locket perfectly in the middle of the white foam in the box, then I wrote a note I knew I needed to write. This is what it said:

Dear Mom,
I know you must be frustrated with me, for worrying you and running away. I’m sorry I ran away, I just had to! Remember when I got my cell last year, and the first thing I did was take a picture of you and I. Well, I don’t know how tough it is to loose a husband, and honestly I can’t possibly imagine. But I do know what it’s like to loose a dad. Mom, I love you, so much and I always will. Forgive me? We’re having a Christmas Party at the Ranch and if you would like to come, we wouldn’t turn you away. I love you!

P.S. Love you,
Hope you like it! Jill

Folding the note I put it over the locket, and drew a heart with “Mom” written inside. Then I wrapped it with gold wreath paper, and tied a silver sparkly bow on top and a white tag with her name and mine. That day Andrew and I drove to my house. He parked a couple blocks down, I got out and crept behind a tree, then I crept low to the porch, placed the gift on her holly welcome mat, rang the door bell and ran behind a thick tree for a good view. She opened the door saying,” Hello...is anyone there?” She looked down and saw the gift and read the tag, I could see a small smile creep onto her face, walking inside she shut the door. Running back to the truck I felt good inside and hoping everything I wrote would be answered on the party night.

“ So, did she catch you?”
I smiled lightly punching his arm and giggling,” No......I hope she’ll forgive me.”
“ Hey, don’t worry. I’m sure she’ll forgive you and if not, try try again.”
I knew he was right and I smiled that he supported me so much and believed in me (and God (to bad everyone doesn’t :( )).
“ So...do you know what I’m getting you for Christmas.”
I started looking around, in the back and in the glove compartment then I scratched my head and shrugged my shoulders.
“ I have no clue!”
“ Well that’s good because, if you knew it wouldn’t be a surprise,” he said so seriously, I laughed till I cried.

Chapter 10 “ Christmas Morning”
It was Christmas morning and the whole place was half decorated, shockingly I sat up and almost gawked at all the decor that I didn’t decorate. Blinking my eyes I saw Andrew siting in a comfy arm chair right next to the couch I was siting upon.
“ How about we open our presents from each other,” he said with excitement and a mischievous twinkle in his eye.
“ Alright, how bout we swap,” I said in a southern accent.
There was an okward pause for a while then we started laughing. We swapped our presents, I opened mine first carefully unwrapping the ice blue shiny paper. He looked like he was going to explode and I couldn’t take it any longer, I ripped off the wrapping paper and almost died when I saw what my gift was. Sitting on black velvet was a diamond looking picture bracelet.
“ Oh Andrew, it’s so beautiful. All it needs is a little memory to go into the picture slots.”
“ We’ll take care of that after breakfast,” he beamed knowing that I loved his gift.

Then he opened his gift wrapped in black shiny star paper with a big green bow on top, he didn’t take any second thought and ripped it open, then his face split into a grin.
“ Thanks Jill, I always needed a wallet and this one is really cool. My stuff is always falling out of my pockets and I keeping loosing it, but now you’ve solved my problem.”
He picked up the navy blue flamed picture wallet and started putting his stuff inside, after he finished he kissed me on the forehead and then headed to the kitchen. Smiling I followed him into the kitchen smelling an amazing scent on the way. HE. COOKED. ME. BREAKFAST! All I could do was smell, and it was an amazing smell. Finally my eyes locked onto the kitchen and moved their way to the big wooden table in the center, set for two (ohmygoodness I thought I would melt right there) I held it together and stepped toward a chair. Old fashionably he slid over and held it out for me to sit, I sat then he dished my plate up with a delicious homemade cinnamon roll (well Pillsbury counts :)....doesn’t it), delicious scrambled herb eggs, and crisp bacon. He dished himself the same, we prayed and began to eat.
“ I almost forgot,” he said coming from the counter with two giant mugs of hot chocolate and loads of whipped cream.
“ It’s my own secret recipe, hope you like it,” he said sheepishly but smiling. He handed me the oversized red mug and I took a long sip. It. Was. Fantastic. Not to hot just right and a lot of whipped cream. Smiling he finished eating the rest of the food on his plate then gulped down his hot chocolate. I did the same, then we wrapped up the rest of the food that wasn’t eaten (duh!) and washed the dishes. Going back into the lounge of the lodge (I made that up myself) I reached into my backpack for a pair of clothes and toiletries (who invented that word, it sounds so wired).
So we both got dressed and freshened up, climbed into Andrew’s pickup and drove off to town. It was such a beautiful day, cloudy with peeks of blue sky and sun shining through brightly. He parked in a spot so we could walk and talk while we approached the mall. Finally we were inside it was rather crowed but there was no one at the photo booths so we sneaked over and went inside. “ These look so much smaller inside than out,” Andrew said looking around at the small space. “ True, they make me feel claustrophobic!”
“ They make me feel sweat-a-phobic, hurry it up I’m dyeing here.”
I gave him a smile then put in a dollar and went back inside, talk about bright. It’s just like FLASH! FLASH! FLASH! FLASH! FLASH! FLASH! FLASH! FLASH! But we ignored the flash bulbs as best we could and just posed, it was the most fun I ever had on Christmas (since my dad died :( (but I didn’t want to get all teary eyed, so I cheered up :) ).

We stumbled out of the little booth and took our cute/funny photos, went to a photo store and copied them. I just happened to have little scissors in my purse incase of emergency (wink wink ;) just kidding). Cutting them out I knew I’d remember this day forever, so I took my pictures and Andrew took his. Holding hands we walked back to his pick up knowing that this day would be a memory kept forever.

The rest of the day was a real hurry, everyone was bumping into each other and I got but in the head twice. We planned ahead, I guess we just needed more help (pity lol not really). Two days before I called everyone to invite them to the party (you know just so everyone was clued in). We were all hoping for a big turn out. I called Andrew’s house but no one picked up so I left a message (most likely out Christmas shopping). Then I called my mom, but she didn’t pick up so I left a message...again. Christmas in the kitchen was so busy I couldn’t breath every time I went in there. So I went out in the lobby and helped with the rest of the decor, and let me tell you when it was finished it looked amazing! I went outside and looked at it and in one breath I sighed the most breath taking sigh. The Ranch was all decked in snow and icicle lights and strung with decorations.

The table in the lobby was set as a buffet with plates and silverware; refreshments were at the end of the table and all of the goodness was at the front. Guests and friends started arriving, wearing festive clothing. Some brought gifts to friends and swapped, others brought themselves. Soon it began to get loud in the lounge (I was so used to the quite state it had always been in). The laughing and snacking and talking carried on. I could see a car pulling in and saw Andrew rush outside, it was his mom. She came to the porch where he was standing, he motioned to come to the other side of the porch and I watched out the window. Sneakily I eavesdropped on them hearring every word between them (at one point I thought I should interfere, but i didn’t they needed to work it out themselves). After about a half hour I looked back out and I assumed they made up because they were hugging. They came in, mother and son, both very happy and so was I (other than me and my mom issues
:( ).

After hours, the party slowly began to end. “HONK!” I jumped right out of my skin I went to the window and squinted outside, Mom? I walked outside to see my mother’s black Honda, she was staring at me through her windshield. Coming over I opened the door and sat in the front seat I could feel the car going in reverse. “ No, mom.”
“We’re going home.”
“No, we’re not.”
“Look, I didn’t runaway to hurt you or worry you.”
“This isn’t about that.”
“Then what is it about. Hmm. Don’t lie to yourself.”
“I’m not,” she said snapping at me.
I gave her a yeah-right-you-believe-that-mom-look.
“I love you mom, and wouldn’t-”
“Well you did!” she said tears streaming down (I had a few tears myself). Then we just sat there staring outside finally she broke the silence.
“I-I know.”
“What?”
“I know you didn’t runaway to worry me or to hurt me, but a mother tends to do this sort of thing. I didn’t lock you in your room or tell you to stop riding Rainy to hurt you. Fear just surrounded me of you getting hurt again or running away. Anger also took hold of me, but everything I did was to protect you because I love you, Jill.”

Confusion was written on my face but I gave her a hug anyway because I knew that deep down even though sometimes it’s hard but I really do love that woman whose my mom.
“ Another reason I did and said the things I did was that I didn’t want to be alone. I lost your sweet father...I couldn’t even imagine if you were next. So for the first time in years I started to pray for God to give me strength and wisdom, to handle all this, and he has...so much. Now thinking about it I’m blessed to have a daughter like you and a father like him. I lost him and then found him again, but what’s really amazing is that he never lost me,” she finished crying with happy tears.

Both of us came in (faces cleaned up of course (like I want to look like crap in front of everyone (especially my boyfriend))). It felt like the party was now just beginning (even though I knew it was ending but, who cares :P ). Andrew walks over with his mom on his arm (aw) he mouths the words “you okay” I nod. We introduced both of our moms’ to each other and they got along so well we couldn’t help but smile a little. He motioned for me to come outside with him so I excused myself and followed him out. My hand slipped into his and we stood on the porch looking out at the snow falling from the gray sky.

“ Jill...I’m really proud of what you did. Everyday I wanted to call my mom and explain. But it seems I didn’t have enough courage and when I saw her...here, tonight, at first I wanted to runaway. But, I mustered up my courage and spoke to her. Now we get along better.”
“ Same here...with my mom.....”
“ You inspired me.”
“ I did?!”
“ Yep, thanks Jill, my girl.”
“ Isn’t it beautiful?”
“ What?...You.”
“ No...unless you think so.”
“ Don’t I?”
“ Do you?”
“ Psht, yea!”

He walked out into the snow (there was like a snow hill right in front of him) I smiled then ran right next to him and knocked him down into the snow.
“ *Laugh* Alrighty missy your coming too.”
“ *Laughs* Oh no you can enjoy it by yourself.”
He started to grin so I started to walk away, “ AH!” I squealed as he grabbed my hand and pulled me down into the snow hep with him. Then he started tickling me and I started to giggle and laugh so hard till I cried. He was laughing at both of us in the snow, staring up at it fall down on our snowy faces.

“ Oh Jill, your the best thing that happened to me.”
I look at him then he went the extra few inches and kissed me on the forehead. He got up, I held up my hands and he lifted me up. The music from the lounge drifted out to us and we started to dance (most romantic thing in my life ;) )Time flew to soon and before we knew (or wanted to know) we had to go home. I grabbed my pack from inside then hoped into the front seat and waved goodbye to Andrew. Christmas was almost over but my new life had almost just begun and a knew day was almost beginning.

Chapter 11 “ Sleigh Ride”
The very next morning I called Andrew’s house, his mom picked up, I asked her if she and Andrew would like to go to church with us. She accepted so they met us at a java shop, got breakfast, then drove to our church. Dressed in our Sunday best (I was in a robin egg blue knee high pride and prejudice styled dress and Andrew was in dark navy jeans and a button up with a tie and leather jacket). I looked up into the gray sky, sigh at yet another gray day, the snowy hills almost shown from the dull sun. The day after Christmas has always been a busy day, everybody is running around to observe all the sales and get the best deals first. We all decided we would go to the mall after church. Walking into the church just in time foe worship my gut told me something was going on, good or bad I have no idea.

The service was about Jesus and his birth; that this tiny little baby would live on the earth, among sinners and tax collectors. He came to this earth to save us from sin, by dying for us. We don’t deserve having someone perfect and sinless come into the world, born of a virgin live a life with deceivers and mockers and have his father turn his back on him, until he cried “ It is finished!”

I loved what the service spoke, that a sinless person died for me to make me clean was the most passionate thing I’ve ever heard. He loves me, I’m a sinner, he died for me, I love him. So we finished the service with “Amazing Grace” and then hit the stores. We shopped for three hours (honestly I thought my feet would fall off). I was left in the last shop which was a neon shop (one word A-M-A-Z-I-N-G) Andrew was talking to my mom and his mom outside. He came in and looked at me then he turned his head, motioning to come here. I walked over not knowing if this was the good/bad gut feeling.

“ I have a surprise for you.”
“ A surprise. What for?”
“ Well, if I told you it wouldn’t be a surprise.”
“ Okay, I trust you.”
As the moms went to go get coffee and shop a little more, we were in Andrew’s pickup.
“ Sorry to have to do this, but it’s a surprise!”
Next thing I knew a blind fold was covering my eyes.
“ Andrew I can’t see, how am I supposed to see the surprise?”
“ You’re not supposed to see the surprise, and don’t worry I’ll be your eyes.”
We drove in silence, except my head wasn’t silent I couldn’t stop think about what it could possibly be. It must be a really big surprise if I have to be blind folded it must be pretty important, but it’s somewhat fun so I’m enjoying it. I can’t remember the last time I had a blind fold on. Questions were whizzing through my head, my heart started to pound and the gut feeling came back. Why on earth would I have a bad feeling around Andrew. I trust him, and that he would never put me in any danger.

The pickup came to a grumbling stop and he parked, I could here him getting out of the truck. He opened my door and helped me out, the snow crunched beneath our feet. Suddenly we stopped,” Can I look now? This blind fold thing is getting-” I cut myself off as Andrew untied my blind fold. Before my blue eyes was Rainy and another horse I’ve never seen before. They looked like they got along really well, but what they both were hitched to was a nicely polished dark blue sleigh.
“ Andrew, are we going to ride in that sleigh?”
“ No, were just going to watch it. Of course we’re going to ride in it! What else could we possibly do?”
I was overwhelmed with excitement (I mean like I’d ever been in a sleigh before)

Overlooking his sarcasm I helped me inside, we both sat down and then he covered both our legs with a warm wool blanket. He gave a click to the horses and we were off on a nice trot. Their gates were almost alike both were so smooth not a bit bumpy, we just glided along the snow. A very light snow was beginning to fall, it seemed all so perfect (to perfect for something not to go wrong). Then suddenly breaking the beautiful silence I heard a loud rustling noise from a grove of bushes printing the side of the trail. Andrew stopped the sleigh (but I was tempted to grab the reins and have the horses fly this sleigh far away from here, but I didn’t). The horses and myself waited for whatever would come out. And to a not very surprising surprise, Scarlet crawled out of the bushes covered in snow.
“ Well hi! Andrew, I was looking for you. I wanted to invite you to my New Year’s Eve party,” she said all preppy (enough to make me puke). I rolled my eyes and waited to see what Andrew’s excuse was going to be.
“ Oh! Sorry Scarlet, my schedules full on New Year’s. I kinda already made plans,” he said (an obvious excuse saying,” HELLO! I have a girlfriend!”)

“ Oh. Bummer. Well then call me, and like we can like make plans or something,” she said preppily disappointed (AHHH! I wanted to puke all over her pink pleated skirt!) She looked down all sad about to walk away and me to say good ridence in my mind when Andrew spoke up.
“ I guess we could give you a ride to the Ranch.”
Her face brightened up.
“ Thanks! That’s like really nice of you!”
So Andrew and I scooted over (sadly (she totally ruined our sleigh ride)) to make room for another passenger. The only one talking on the way back was (you guessed it), Scarlet. And the only problem with her talking- I mean rambling was that she didn’t let you answer, she just kept going on and on. It was like I was locked in an old stuffy closet, with no air to breath (and that’s what it was like all the way back). Trying hard not to loose my temper, I held my breath from when she strated talking.

We dropped her off (finally!)
“ Well Jill, I guess it’s silent and just the two of us. Right Jill...........um, Jill.”
I guess I forgot how to breath because I passed out, since it was such a long ride (her perfume was chocking me, and so was her talking!) Andrew stopped the sliegh again, picked me up, and dropped some snow on my face. I woke up (as if I had a bad dream).
“ That was really close Jill.”
He pulled me in and hugged me.
“ I thought I lost you, for a second.”
“ Well you almost did. If you wouldn’t have thrown snow on my face,” I said a hint of fear in my voice. He hugged me tight (I almost couldn’t breath again).
“ I’ll never let anything happen to you again.”
I smiled and he picked my up and carried me back into the sleigh, since my legs were numb and I couldn’t walk very well.

It was peaceful as we went for another quick ride. I fell asleep on the way back, with my head on his shoulder. We got back, but I was still asleep. Leaving me in the sleigh asleep, Andrew unhitched the horses. He groomed them and then put their blankets on, and then feed them. Pulling the sleigh into its place, he picked me up (careful not t wake me) and put me in his front seat (still asleep). Driving to my house I had a dream about Andrew and I walking on a bridge, we stooped and looked out at the view when the stone from underneath my feet caved in and I was falling fast. Before I almost cleared the stone he reached his hands in and said,” I told you I wouldn’t let anything bad happen to you.” Pulling me up I smiled at him, knowing I would be safe. Parking t my house he got out and found the extra house key under our welcome mat. My mom wasn’t there, so he unlocked the door, came back to his truck, and carried me inside laying me on the couch.
“ Night Jill, my sleeping angel. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
He bent down and kissed my forehead, then staring at me a minute, he really did think I looked like an angel.

I woke up. It was early dawn, and then I realized he brought me home last night. I undressed out of my Sunday best, and into casual t-shirt, jeans, old converse, and a zip-up. Creeping out of the house (not to wake my mom) I took a walk in our neighbor hood forest. It was beautiful that morning, dew dripping from the trees and sunlight slowly creeping through. I flipped open my cell and saw it was already eight, so I went inside and told my mom I was going to the Ranch.
“ Be home in time for dinner. There could be a surprise waiting for you.”
I was curious at this but then shrugged it off and ran out the door. The lit snow crunched underneath my feet and my eyes went blind every time I got to a real reflected snow spot I had to have my arm as a shield.

The sun shone like a white/gold coin amid sapphire sky and clouds faintly bordered the edges of as much sky as you could see. Starring up at the sky and walking at the same time, “BEEP!!!” I was scared out of my skin as I realized I wandered into the middle of the street. I quickly jumped out of the way and saw the carved wood sign of “Wild Flower Ranch”. The air was very clear and crisp and the roads were paved for the many cars that passed. At the gate of the ranch it looked so amazing covered in snow and extra Christmas decorations that weren’t taken down. The excitement of the Christmas season was setting and the dawn of a brand new year was about to begin.

Chapter 12 “Riding Horses”
When I finally hoped over the gait (I could’ve opened it but it’s more fun jumping it :) ) and walked to the stables I could see Andrew training/riding his horse (but not at the same time (that would be kind of difficult)). Day by day the snow would melt getting ready for more or an early spring. Andrew motioned his horse, Pistachio, to come toward me. He was a beautiful bay with a dirty blonde mane and had speckles on his rump, so I guessed he was an Appaloosa. If I was wrong he’s still a very beautiful horse (no, he’d be ugly if I was wrong. DUH! Hello?! Beautiful horses are beautiful horses).
“ So, would you like to take a ride?”
I looked around is if he was talking to someone else.
“ Oh! You want me to take a ride?”
“ No, I want a squirrel to take a ride with me, of course I want you!”
“ No need to shout.”
“ I’m not shouting this is me talking.”
“ Are you sure about that?”
“ More than ever.”

I ran into the stables and got Rainy all geared and ready to go. And before I knew it I was galloping Rainy across the meadow, with Andrew and Pistachio close behind. It was so beautiful that morning and now there were clouds in the sky. Most likely the border of clouds I saw this morning are the cause. But, the sunlight that shone on them lit them up pink (which made the sky even more beautiful). Even my brilliant mind (haha :P) couldn’t have thought up anything better. Waking up, walking in the dawn, riding with my guy, and then seeing the days beauty unfold.

The horses were enjoying the meadows’ sweet fresh air, and for that matter Andrew and I were enjoying it as well. Up hills we bounded and jumped, flying across the meadow is what Rainy and Pistachio do best. Carrying us as if we were just feathers. It felt (and was) so amazing riding our beautiful creatures. The urge I felt to go as fast as the wind lurched in my mind, I bent down to Rainy’s ear and whispered,” Give it all you got, girl. Just let yourself fly.” Apparently she got the message because now it was like I was riding the wind. She gave a burst of strength and flew me up over a hill. I think if I could have a favorite superhero it would be God, he’s so amazing in everything he does, and just so incredible that he made horses the way they are.

We raced each other back to the Ranch, we were neck-n-neck until Rainy bounded forward and won the race.
“ That was probably the best ride I’ve been on since I’ve been here!” I exclaimed.
“ Probably? No. I think it was the best.”
“ How would you know, Mr. Know-It-All?”
“ I wouldn’t.......but I’m guessing it’s one of the best.”
“ That could be true.”
“ Well I think it was the best ride of my life!”
“ You think? Well I know it was!” I said matter-o-factly. We groomed down our horses and then gave them a few treats while scratching them behind the ears (but not to many, we wouldn’t want to spoil their dinner).

After saying our “C-ya’s” to our horses we headed toward the lounge holding hands.
“ I think so chamomile tea would do us some good.”
“ That’s sounds really good right now.”
“ I’ll race you to the kitchen?”
“ I don’t know I’m kinda tired.”
But, before I could say anything back he took off, and I ran right after him. Since his head start started I couldn’t catch up with him, and I lost the race (but I was still looking forward to that tea). He already had the kettle lit and two large mugs waiting to have the tea bag brew inside of them.
“ Here, you do the tea and I’ll do lunch.”
“ Sounds good to me.”
So I took some leftovers from the Christmas meal and made a concoction of soup that was actually better than I thought it would be. Sitting down to hot soup and chamomile tea sounding to good, we prayed for our meal then ate and talked about just random things that popped up. Now that we were full of warmth we snuggled on a couch next to the fire place and told funny stories about memories we’ve had.

After a while I went outside to check on the horses and when Andrew and I entered the hall the horses whinnied hello’s. I had a good idea at that moment.
“ Hey Andrew?”
“ Yes, angel?”
The sarcasm in his voice made me laugh.
“ Would you like to come over for dinner?”
“ Well I don’t know my dear let me check my schedule?”
He said using a british accent and more sarcasm.
“ My mom said it was surprise.”
“ Oh no! You don’t think it’s mystery meat, do you!”
He was still using his british accent and so much sarcasm I was laughing so hard I almost couldn't breath.
“ Easy Jill.”
“ I’m okay.”
I gave him a little shove with my shoulder.
“ What’s that for?”
“ For calling my mom a lunch lady.”
This made him laugh a little.
“ Hey, I was just fun-in.”
“ Okay, Mr. British.”
“ Oh but, my accent is quit well thank you.”
He said using his british accent again.
“ So what about dinner?”
“ I’ll call my mom and ask.”

He flipped out his cell and dialed her number, I could hear it ringing then I heard a “Hello”.
“ Hey mom, do you think I could go to Jill’s house for dinner? Oh, ok. So I’ll be meeting you there? Great. See ya latter mom. Bye.”
“ So?”
“ Well I think we might have to post pone.”
My expression saddened.
“ Just kidding.”
I punched him in the arm (not that hard).
“ So what did she say?”
“ She said that I could. And that your mom called her to invite her so my mom is coming.”
“ Great. I have no idea what it is.”
“ You mentioned that.”
“ Ya, but it’s getting to me.”
“ Well I guess we should go.”
“ Sounds good to me.”

We hopped in Andrew’s truck and drove to my house for diner (the french word for the evening meal). As soon as the door opened good smells fled from the house. Andrew and I both took in two deep breaths, exchanged one look, and raced into the dining room. Mom and Karen looked up startled.
“ Goodness! You to sound like a stamped coming through the jungle.”
They were laughing slightly and we chuckled a bit to ourselves. All of us sat around the table and there set freshly baked rolls, potatoes, stemmed carrots, parisian salad, and my favorite, chicken pot pie. It all looked and smelled amazing, we said grace and then ate until our hearts content. The moms went into the kitchen to talk and clean up while Andrew and I went into my secret tunnel room.

“Whoa! This is pretty amazing!”
The room is like a game room; to get there you had to go through a secret door in my closet.
“ Ya. The only people who know about this room are you and me. My dad always wanted to build me a room like this, but since the accident.... well...I had to do it myself.”
I could tell Andrew wanted to say something but I guess a cat caught his tongue. We hung out and played some pool and then we had to say our goodbyes.

Chapter 13 “New Years”
On this very morning was the start of a new year, my head was spinning super fast this morning. I felt like the future was forever away and I wasn’t even near enough to touch it or even try to reach. Groggily pulling myself out of bed (like a zombie looking for a fresh kill) I walked into the bathroom and started brushing my teeth. I caught a glance of myself in the mirror and started to stare. Isn’t it supposed to be a new year? Why do feel and look the same? All these questions were spinning through my head. I don’t look any different than the day before. Same bed hair, same tired blue eyes and same crooked smile. There it is! I’ve spotted what’s different. There’s a light inside of me that brightens all my flaws. It’s the light of God. I should pay more attention to Him. Lord, please be with me today. Watch over my family and friends. Please hold me in your hands. In Jesus name, Amen.

Hunger kicked in so left the bathroom with a grin on my face and happiness inside. It’s been a long time since I was happy and now I love that I am. I could smell breakfast from the hall and that made my mouth water. Dreamily walking into the kitchen all I could think about at the moment was God and food. Apple turnovers and four cups of peppermint tea awaited me. Hang on. Four cups of tea, I wonder who’s here. I stepped into the dining room (pjs still on) very surprised to see Andrew, his mom, and my mom sitting at the table, all in conversation. The table was set for four.
“ Well there’s the sleepy head! Finally awake I see.”
Andrew jokingly exclaimed, I smiled sitting in a chair next to Andrew and got done to eating. Breakfast was delicious, (as always) after I got dressed I was ready to go wherever Andrew and Karen were taking my mom and I. We drove to Central Park Way, where the mall is (I noticed we were heading here because I’ve been here quit a lot (but not to much (I hate over shopping))). We stepped out and started walking toward the theater. The moms were laying back, talking, and getting some snacks.

Andrew and I headed to the ticket booth and bought four tickets for “UP”. We sat on a bench telling jokes and exchanging our worst fears till the moms were ready to grab a seat. Surprisingly (Ya right I think she planed it) Scarlet walked up to us and started talking to Andrew (she gets on my very last nerve).
“ Hey Andrew! I like didn’t know you were coming here!?”
She said preppily shocked (she planed it that pink pleated skirt guy stealer). I noticed that whenever Andrew wasn’t looking she would give me snotty preppy smirks. If we weren’t in a public place I would’ve hit her so hard she would have the preppiness punched out of her. But I was trying to keep my cool (I would need five ice cold drinks to keep me cool, because my tank already started to boil).
“ Oh...hi, Scarlet.”
“ Hi Andrew. So like how are you?”
“ I’m good...how are you?”
“ I’m like so great...ya!”
“ What are you doing here?”
“ It’s like the mall silly! Doesn’t like everyone come here?”
Her preppy laugh made me stand up and I was about to get ready to punch her when I saw that my mom and Karen started walking our way with snacks in their hands.
“ Well it’s time to grab our seats. Come on Andrew.”
“ Catch ya later, Andrew,” she said while turning to leave then gave him a wink behind her shoulder and waltzed off in her pink tank top, short pink pleated skirt and black heels.

OHMYGOODNESS!!!

I screamed in my head, Does she think they’re together or something? Doesn’t she realize we’re together and I’m right here?! WHAT THE HECK! I’m so mad! I need to calm down. Breath Jill, breath. She’s gone. Don’t start hyperventilating. Put on your calm face and just shove your anger out of the way for the moment.

Taking my consciences advice, I shoved my anger out of the way for the moment and grabbed Andrews arm (so I wouldn’t trip (in the dark column where we were searching for our seats)). We sat down and waited for the commercials to begin and the show to start. The wink from Scarlet was stuck in my mind, I shook my head (like I thought I was an etcha-sketch).
“ You ok?”
“ I’m fine, just a little shaken up.”
“ Hey! Don’t worry. You’re my girl I’m not goona replace you.”

The highlights turned off and the theater went dark, the previews started to play and all I could think about was preppy, decitful, pink, Scarlet. Again I shoved her out of the way and watched the movie with my head resting on Andrew’s shoulder. If she wants Andrew she’s going to have to put up a good fight!
“ So, what did you guys think of the movie?” my mom happily chimed.
“ Awesome, and cute.” I said.
“ I hid under your porch...because I love you!” Andrew said in his Dug voice with a hilarious and inocent puppy dog look on his face. All I could do was laugh till I feel over. (Embarassingly I got up) We all had a great time, but coming to spoil our happy vibe was a short skirted preppy Scarlet (once again (OHMYGOSH I HATE HER GUTS!!!)).

She literally walked up to Andrew like she was all that and more and said “ Hey!” way to casualy. I wanted to freakin give her a black eye and I know probably could too (DuH! Of course I could). The only person that would really know how much I hated her is God.
“ So, do you have any plans for this?” Scarlet said totally ignoring me and trying to pose as sexy as she could. I wanted to puke my guts out (if I did I would puke all over her and her preppy shortness). Not being able to stand the silent treatment much longer I stepped up and said,” Scarlet, a little advice for a preppy stuck up jack off like you (she sneered at this). BACK OFF FROM MY BOYFRIEND!!! Got it honey! Now, bye-bye!”

Grabbing Andrews hand I started walking away leaving the pouty preppy sneering Scarlet by herself. Her preppily shocked face was totaly priceless. I was really starting to like the new stand-up-for- yourself me. But even though it stabbed through my anger almost revealing it entirely, I knew God was there to help me even if I didn’t know mostly how.

Chapter 14 “Why-O-Why?”

" Whoa...well I don't think I'm worried about you that much any more."
" What is that supposed to mean?"
" I'm kidding, you ok?"
" I actually feel better. To finally stand up to that skank."
" Yeah, but seriously didn't mean that I don't care about you because I do (under his breath) more than you know</font."
" Oh don't worry I know."
" Do you?"
Then he turned to look at me as I looked at him, taking my face in his hand and kissed me.
" Maybe that helped."
" Thought it might."
I blushed holding his hand as we walked back to the car.

" Hey mom we'll be home in a few."
" Alright."
" Where are we going?"
" Maybe it's a surprise..."
My face looked questioningly at him as I got into the passenger street of his pick up.
" So you won't tell me where we're going?"
" Nope..."
" Can I guess?"
" Nope."
" Why?"
" Because I said."
Again my face gave him a questionable look, but I didn't ask anymore questions about where we were going and instead had an interesting debate. Ice-cream vs ice-cream sandwiches. Before I knew it we were at this amazing building surrounded by trees.

" Where are we?"
" You'll find out."
Now I was just growing curiouser and curiouser but as soon as we walked into the door I knew where we were...sort of. A modern and historical art museum.
" I knew you liked art quite a lot so I thought you'd like to see everything here."

Impressum

Tag der Veröffentlichung: 20.09.2010

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