Here is where I woke up feeling nothing, as usual. In my bed, this… is the beginning of my story. I got up, took a shower, did my hair, and all those other things girls have to deal with in the morning. As usual my hair came out terrible and when I went downstairs my mom had the same breakfast set up for me like she had everyday. “Late again?” I knew I was going to get the same answer I always got but some how I felt it was a habit of force. “Gotta go. Bye,” mom spoke as she rushed out the door. I again got this feeling deep down in the pit of my stomach. It’s filled with loneliness. I didn’t ask to be an only child. I didn’t ask to have a workaholic mother who can only seem to be able to make cereal. I also did not ask to have a mother that can only pay attention to me when I am right next to her new beau.
I contemplated for a few seconds, and then decided to leave the house with only book bag and a grouching stomach.
***
I eventually got to school and got off a murderous rectangular prism /prison they call a school bus. I looked above the footsteps of my school to the dreadful day that awaited me beyond red double doors. The same color of our schools brick walls. It had up to three stories and was known as a fire hydrant for it’s curved in walls that met at the peak of cloudy skies.
I walked up to the red doors with ultimate triumph even though the doors screamed exit not enter. Inside people were screaming shouting, and buzzing about untrue stories. We call that gossip here at Wayne bridge high school. I was surrounded by cheerleaders, geeks, jocks, and all other forms of teenagers here. Even the outsiders (and no I don’t mean from the movie sadly). The worst part was that I was a freshman in the second semester of school and I have already gotten all the basics down on utter popularity in this school. The deal is if you happen to be in a lower grade then another student you automatically cannot become friends with them. Even the teachers hold this into account since they think us lower beings are too weak and helpless.
As I somehow make my way through the crowd I hit my body against my locker and sigh. Even with the other dark blue luminating lockers surrounding me and other people rushing by I somehow notice somebody had opened my best friend’s locker. Of course someone was using here locker, I knew this would happen eventually. I just happened to hope it wasn’t going to happen so soon. Well, to late to act now. I couldn’t see the figure roaming through my long gone best friend’s locker because they were hidden behind the locker door. Obviously they must have gotten the locker combination at the office before I even got to school.
All of the sudden the figure closed their new found locker and I couldn’t help but just stare with wide brown eyes at the hottest piece of meat I had ever seen in my entire life. He was wearing a white v-neck shirt which was obviously meant to be see through so everyone could see his ripped abs. His pants were black and ripped at his knees, but unlike most of the guys at our school, his legs weren’t as skinny as a stick and neither were his pants. He stared at me with these beautiful majestic eyes. It was like seeing heaven for the first time or a raven’s eyes but in hazel form (note to self: there was more green than brown.) Now that he wasn’t hiding behind his new locker I could also see that his hair was mussed back. It seemed to be very thick as well. The sad part was that there was a strand of black hair in front of his right eye. It hung right over his forehead as though it was purposely put there to make him seem even more majestic.
My chest became heavy and I felt like sagging. All of a sudden the figure in front of me gave me this menacing grimace that I will never forget for some unknown reason. What was that meant to do, charm me? If it was, it was working.
“Like what you see?” he asked me in this hoarse, yet hypnotic like way.
I hadn’t even noticed until now that my jaw had hit the floor the moment I saw him and it hadn’t disappeared since. I carefully took my left hand and shoved my jaw back in place again.
“Hi,” I said breathlessly
“Hi,” he said nonchalantly
All of a sudden it hits me. I had been acting like an obsessed monkey over a stupid banana!
“What do you want!” I said with as much cruelty as I could get out right after getting my stance back.
“I just wanted to know if you were enjoying the view,” he says
“What do-,” I cut my self off fast and retraced my thoughts. I decide not to answer his question and move on to another one for fear of more embarrassment.
“What’s your name?” I asked him as I started to unlock my locker.
“What’s yours?” he retorts
“What’s your name?” I said again with more wrath this time. I made sure not to look at him or I might become awed again.
“Why?” he asks sounding completely calm. I tried to be as calm as he was even though I could feel his beautiful piercing eyes on my back.
“Because that’s my friend’s locker and I think I deserve some idea of whos stealing it.” It didn’t work. I sounded as if I was rambling and got way to mad. I was still trying to learn how to control my anger.
“Oh, I see,” he says
“See what?”
“How that you must of really cared about the person who used to have this locker so having someone you don’t even know take this locker must be tearing you up inside.”
I naturally couldn’t retort on that since he was completely right. So I decided to act dumb and pretend I hadn’t heard him.
So, what is your name for the third time?”
“My name is exactly what you think my name is, darling.”
All of a sudden I turned around looking at him up and down, contemplating whether to shout at him again, this time for calling me darling, or try to figure out what his name was. I chose the name game since it was obviously more fun for the both of us. He turned up a sly face on me but I still answered with interest.
“Luke…Russell…Evan…no, Evion”
He chuckles “what...that’s a girl’s name,”
“No its not,” I state proudly
“Yes, it is,” he says a bit more proudly than me.
“Are you ever going to answer my question because if you’re not I’m just going to leave.”
“It’s-,” he was cut off short by the ring of the school bell. I slammed my locker shut fast and turned around quickly, but he was in front of me so I couldn’t get past him. I decided to bump past him which really hurt but I hauled ass anyway. I definitely didn’t want to have to go all the way to the other side of the school to get a tardy slip.
As the bell rang I rushed inside my homeroom. Unfortunately, ripped dude was in my homeroom but than goodness was sitting next to some cheerleaders and preps. To be honest, all of those girls were sitting and standing right next to him. One cheerleader was actually on his desk, with a skirt on! He looked her up and down and smiled. Ugh!
When I finally sat down I remembered that he had still been standing next to my locker when I had left for homeroom. How had he gotten here so fast? After an excruciating twenty-five minutes of giggle mouthed pop it and lock it girls and ripped boy probably hitting on all of them, the bell finally ring. I ran to biology but was greeted with a room empty of ripped boys. The bell rang and I sat down. I prayed to god that juvenile delinquent guy wouldn’t end up in my class. My hopes shattered as Mr. Farrell introduced the new kid.
I lowered in my seat, focusing on the seat next to mine rather than Mr. Farrell or what he was saying. My best friend used to sit in the seat next to mine. That was the exact same best friend who also used to use the locker next to mine. Beyond her seat there was always a big window. There were actually about four big windows in our classroom that were framed with white. Hers was right in the middle of the third window. If you looked outside of it you could see a tree. It was small but it’s always reached up all the way to the middle of the window. I looked back at Mr. Farrell as he said my name.
“Why don’t you sit right next to Ms. Laraine who’s wearing the big black shirt and glasses with blue hair,” Mr. Farrell said
I knew teachers were mean and all but I didn’t expect that! I mean big shirts with tight pants are the style now, I think. Besides why couldn’t he have just said to sit in the seat next to the window or ask me to raise my hand? He totally made a fool of me! Why does everything have to be so complex to teachers?
Ripped dude came walking over to yet again his new seat with prestigious model behavior. The sun just seemed to hit his features in the most perfect way possible. He strode over with both hands in his pocket and his brown messenger bag pulled over his shoulder. As he took his seat he set his bag to the side and almost instantly turned his head toward me, he almost caught me looking at him but before he could catch a glance at my face it was turned all the way to the opposite side of the classroom. I noticed automatically that most of the girls in my class were either looking at the guy next to me or covering their mouth filled giggles with their hand as they looked at him as well.
Mr. Farrell started to talk about our new lesson of the semester so I now had a reason to turn my attention away from the goo-goo eyed girls and ripped dude. Every so often though, as I was writing notes from the chalk board, I would sneak a peek at him. He only showed a small smirk once when I started looking at his other body parts. I looked away feeling ashamed of myself.
I hated guys. How could this one make me feel so different? Every single time I even saw a flash of him I got this weird feeling like I wanted to jump on him.
The bell finally rang. Sadly enough, that wasn’t the end of my torture. He showed up in all the rest of my classes except computer class. The good part about that was that I got to finally relax my racing heart. The bad parts were that all the rest of my classes involved ten tons of more stress than usual because he was there, I wouldn’t ever be able to focus on my class work, and I would eventually graduate just to be told I can’t get in anywhere because my grades are like death itself! Okay, maybe that’s a little melodramatic but it didn’t matter. My life was officially going to be a living hell just because my hormones couldn’t control themselves. Being me sucks!
***
I slugged my way to the cafeteria for lunch feeling anxious. My chest felt tight. I couldn’t believe I was going to let this guy get to me. I mean what if it was a girl’s name! What am I thinking, that wouldn’t happen. He couldn’t be that hot without having a hot name too.
I walked into the cafeteria and immediately looked around for ripped dude. Luckily for me, I didn’t see him.
I sighed with relief.
Maybe he was forced to sit in the bathroom. Ha! Like that would ever happen. Girls would be lined up to get a chance to sit with him.
Walking through the lunch line I did spot something else that caught my eye. All the girls had pouts marked along the lines of their faces. I hadn’t noticed it because of the state that I was in before I got to lunch. That consisted of me hipper ventilating and about ten seconds later ready to drop dead. Once I had calmed myself down, I noticed that almost all the girls in my school had gone mad. There was a loud thunder coming from all the girls (it began to freak me out.) My old best friend would have acted just like these girls. I guess I have to admit that she really wasn’t that great of a friend. She only acted like she was my friend because nobody liked her. She was always cruel to the other students…and her name, was Becca. She was so mean to one kid they had to move away because other whys he would have done something he would have regretted. Everyone stayed away from her. People used to say she was a step a head of gossiping-whatever that means- I thought what made her the best bully was the fact that she refused to say or do anything behind people’s backs. And she wouldn’t let you talk behind her back either. She would always tell someone to their face what she thought about them before she hit them. Whether she knew them or not it didn’t matter to her. People always seemed to fade away and disappear when she walked down a hall. Nobody wanted to get involved with her. She had no one-just like me- and after a while it caught up with her.
I would have been other people’s friends but they were just too full of themselves. They never thought about me or what I was going through in life. That’s why I never talked to anyone. I was known as the goth girl. The one who put on too much eyeliner and always wore dark clothes was referred to as me in the school dictionary. I changed that when my Becca taught me that it doesn’t matter what I look like because I am still going to be the same person on the inside no matter what. I still find it difficult to be me to this day.
If Becca was here right now she would tell me to go search for ripped dude myself. She would know that it wasn’t everyday you found someone who you actually like. Its especially magical when they like you back, or at all! And of course, that’s when I decided to go look for him. I pushed people with my elbows into one of the two bars that kept us in line and ran for the exit not knowing where I was going.
***
I eventually found him, but it was in the most unexpected area. I stood there and waited for him to turn around and say something…but he didn’t. He sat on the bleachers in the back of the school where the football field was and seemed to be looking at the forests, or in them. He must have used to live near a forest because he looked very intently at the woods.
I asked “What are you doing out here?” but he didn’t answer. He did move his black book bag so I could sit down.
I wasn’t here to sit and look at the trees! Just doing one of those two things would drive me to madness. So Instead, I put my body in front of him with my hands on my hips so it blocked the woods. He chuckled while lowering his head. When he looked up at me he only spoke one word “Victor.” What does that mean? Is that your name? Do you think that’s my name? Are you looking for someone by that name? I had asked all those questions but the reply from him or so called “victor” was either another chuckle or just a staring contest. I finally gave up and decided it must be his name since he probably knew I was dying to hear it. After that, I spent the rest of lunch sitting next to my locker.
***
I went to history class with both a groan coming from my mouth and my stomach. Everyone else was excited for some reason. I didn’t realize why till I got to my desk and noticed a big TV set sitting in the front of our classroom on a wooden pedestal. It was one of those old and bulky featured television sets. It also had a VCR and a big box in the back of it.
That perked me up but the realization that so called “Victor” was in my class, yet again, dropped my mood back to depressed. Little did I know that this was going to be the worst and best class of all. Victor sat behind me in this class because I was apart of the main back rows of chairs in the classroom. I was one chair away from the last chair which Victor now sat in. That was good for him since he wouldn’t have any annoying neighbors, or any neighbors, but bad for me. I mean it still wasn’t as bad as first bell because now I couldn’t see him. I mean I still had urges to turn around and look at him. I just chose to ignore them. When Victor threw a note on my desk right before the lights went out I jumped, startled.
The note wrote:
Dear, Laraine
I am truly sorry for earlier. I had just happened to have a hard time deciding whether I wanted to starve for lunch or kill myself from eating your schools mystery. Hey, just like you.
Sincerely, victor
I laughed when he brung up our school’s lunch and then almost cried when he mentioned I was like it. Suddenly, I Had a brilliant thought, sort of.
My note wrote:
Dear, crude
Sorry if my handwriting is a little to manly for you. Don’t want to rip the skirt right.
Sincerely, nobody p.s. URALuzer
That should put him in his place. I threw the note over my head, right before I crumpled it, and heard a silent sound of the crumpled ball of paper as it landed on Victor’s desk. The volume was so low on the TV I couldn’t even hear what the actors/actresses were saying in the movie. It sounded like buzzing to me and I wasn’t ready to make an effort at straining my ears just to hear some stupid and pointless history movie. Victor did the same thing as before with the note but it was a new sheet a paper. I opened it three ways and read it.
Dear, Laraine
I’ve thought about what you have said and I decided to ignore the rude comments. If you were wondering-which I know you highly are-I moved here for many obvious reasons. If you would like to know one of those reasons I would consider writing back.
Love, Victor
I crossed Laraine out right when I saw it. Two seconds later, I regretted it. He would see it if I wrote back to him on the same sheet of paper. I read the rest of the letter for some reason and instantly put an “x” out on the word “love” right after I finished reading it. He had written that right next to his name just so I could see it. Even if I was going to write back to him that didn’t mean I had to do what he told me. I could have just turned around and said something, but he knew I wouldn’t do that. I would have gotten detention. I did write back to him and got an astonishing answer. His parents got a divorce and his father almost immediately moved to Michigan. Yup! The story sounded like any other modern day family except my mom took care of me all on her since I was a baby. Her “mate” for a better lack of the term wasn’t committed or ready for that kind of responsibility. Mostly, I don’t blame him because my mom had still been in high school at the time! Anyway there was one more thing in the letter that I forgot to mention. That he lives with his father. Can you say scary!
***
Ring! Ring! Ring! Brightness from the lights in the room blinded me. I realized that I had been sleeping through the movie when I saw my wet notebook. I felt groggy after waking up. I am always mad in the morning when I wake up. I even get that way when I wake up at three o’ clock…in the afternoon! I began rubbing my eyes when someone behind me put their hand on my shoulder. I turned around slowly, still tired.
“Have a nice nap?” victor asked. Then he walked past my desk and out the door without turning back. I should have known it was him. He was the only one who sat behind me. Looking at my desk I couldn’t find the scraps of paper Victor and I wrote each other letters with. He must have taken them while I was sleeping. I felt good knowing I had a restful nap and instantly bad again when I found out I had to go to my locker again to get my book bag. My feelings were flying today for one reason… and that was Victor.
He is the one person in my whole life that has made me feel this way. My stomach keeps turning into knots and I keep getting this feeling in my chest when ever he talks to me. It just…won’t stop.
When I was asleep I dreamed about him. I saw waterfalls and dears eating grass and birds flying and playing with each other and trees spread out everywhere hugging the breeze and there, sitting alone on a bench was Victor with his back towards me. His thick black moosed back hair shivered as the wind blew in his face. Then, out of no where he turned and looked at me and smiled while holding three lilies in his hand. He walked around the bench to me and our eyes instantly started holding each other’s gaze. I melted and he caught me as I fall into a daze. My hand hit my head and I made a high pitched sigh. He then went for my lips…and…and… and then I woke up. The end. The bell had woken me up. What a buzz kill, dang it! Why! Ooooh why!
***
I went to my locker after history. As I got to my locker I spotted…no one. Victor wasn’t anywhere near here, so I packed everything in my book bag quickly and left before Victor had a chance to get to his locker. I ended up going home with almost any homework since it was Thursday and the fact that I had had a math/algebra test today-that’s where most of my homework comes from- made it so that I didn’t have as much work to do. What I did have to do for homework was to write about the movie I saw in history today.
I turned on my laptop and put my pajamas on for bed while it was loading. All that I was going to do on the laptop was look at what other people said about the movie since I slept through most of it in class.
As I opened my notebook I noticed an address on one of the pages. It had Victor’s name right above the address of the house. It was my handwriting, but I wasn’t sure what to do with it. I decided to just leave it there in the end. Afterwards, when I had finished my history homework, I looked back at the address for a closer inspection. I noticed that I recognized what neighborhood it had on it but I did not know about what street he was talking about. I gave up sooner than expected because there was no point in trying to solve an insolvable mystery. I fell asleep and dreamed about what house Victor might live in.
***
Buzz! Buzz! I fell right out of bed in the morning and on to the floor. “Oooww…” I said as I rubbed my bed head hair and grunted. I immediately threw my clock across my room. It landed on the floor…not quite making it to my wall since I felt so weak. I grunted again and hit my head on the floor! I had expected my pillow to be there but as I looked up at my bed I spotted my pillow still on it. I could already tell this was going to be a long Friday.
***
Victor didn’t show up at his locker… he didn’t even show up for homeroom. I guess it really didn’t matter since Mr. Crosby always fell asleep while trying to read a newspaper. He had woken up though yesterday when the bell rang for us to leave but nobody bothered to wait for him to see who was here or wasn’t here because truthfully, we all new Mr. Crosby was to shy to go beyond a lecture. As the bell rang today, Mr. Crosby was forced to try to get all the names he could down for attendance. I contemplated with my self for about ten seconds but instead of leaving I went over to Mr. Crosby and told him I was here even though he would have just checked me off anyway.
“Oh. Hello…” he paused
“Laraine,” I finished for him
“Yes, Laraine, don’t worry about yesterday I put everyone as attended.” Already knew that. He always did that.
“I know, I just wanted to tell you who wasn’t here.” How stupid could I have been to make the worst excuse ever! I was going to get Victor in trouble if I didn’t shut up soon.
“Well, who are they?” he asked
I finally decided to tell him since it was the only thing I could think of doing. I didn’t want to lie to Mr. Crosby and I surely didn’t want a bad reputation with him. After he said his thanks and I gave my you’re welcomes I left the classroom. As soon as I was out of sight from Mr. Crosby I dashed to my next class in hopes of seeing Victor. When I got to my next class for some reason I was giddy when I spotted Victor at last. I felt a huge wave of relief and guilt for what I had done.
I sighed from the exhaustion I felt after my running all the way from class to class. When I finally didn’t feel sweaty anymore I thought about asking all these possibly difficult questions to victor. Where were you? Why weren’t you in homeroom? Did you meet someone you like and have decided to completely forget about school and me? Yah, I was definitely going to keep that last part to myself.
Victor was talking to a mixed group of jocks and other types of people. I only happened to notice the jocks and cheerleaders in front of him because they both normally wear there school pride as in the jocks big jackets and the girls red cheerleading uniforms. By the time I sat down and got all my supplies out for school today which consisted of a pencil and a notebook Victor had already strode over to his desk, sat down, and was staring straight at me. He looked at me with a face I couldn’t quite understand. What, did he need some homeroom notes that I sure enough didn’t get?
He put his elbow on his desk so that he could then rest his cheek on his balled up hand. After that he decided to cock his head to one side making his hair shimmer even more which granted some loud gasps and sighing gestures, mostly from girls. It was amazing how he could woo everyone with a slight twitch of his perfectly veined neck.
He abruptly stopped my thoughts when he smiled at me. He was bemused, at me! Wait a minute… he was waiting for me to ask him where he had been! I was speechless.
I had so many questions in my head yet I couldn’t seem to say them out loud. I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out. Again I tried to say something, anything, but nothing came out. I was beginning to feel like Mr. Crosby. Overwhelmed by so much attention not only by Victor but by the rest of the class, that most likely wasn’t staring at me. I was on center stage and I had forgotten my lines already.
With that thought I shut my mouth and turned my body back to the front of the class. I tried to ignore Victor’s eyes even when they were burning holes through my wall of privacy. When I did catch a glimpse of his face again he looked puzzled this time. No. That wasn’t good enough. He had his eyes fixed on me and only me. They were squinting right at me. It seemed as if he were trying to look inside of me. How did he think that would work in a million years? Maybe it worked if you were an angel, which with my luck he probably was.
The bell finally rang and I instantly focused on Mr. Farrell. I had hoped Victor would do the same but he didn’t. He just kept staring at me as if I were a beautiful statue of a naked man/woman. Mr. Farrell had plans on giving a lecture today and I lived for those. Also, it would help me in this class a lot since my current grade was a ‘D+’. Instead I was disappointed in the fact that I had to copy forty vocabulary words as he decided it would just help us even more during his lecture. I felt like all of Mr. Farrell’s spoken words were in a different language because for one thing I had to get forty words down in my notebook and had Victor building two holes in the left side of my head from his piercing eyes. He officially wasn’t worried about our pop quizzes and notebook checks. I kept thinking to myself “don’t blow up, don’t blow up, don’t blow up”. Finally when the bell rang I felt exasperated and sighed almost louder than the bell. Mr. Farrell said it wasn’t polite and that he could give me lunch detention for that. He didn’t.
I walked quickly out of class hoping those eyes would stop peering at me. Unfortunately, they weren’t going anywhere but with me the whole day. Everywhere I went those eyes were following in class, in the halls, and at lunch while I was in line. Once I got to history I couldn’t stand it anymore and exploded. Right when I got in the classroom I turned around and almost screamed “What!” that didn’t work to well since Victor wasn’t exactly here yet. There was a small boy behind me who started crying and ran out of the classroom door. My history teacher didn’t exactly take my yelling to lightly either. He asked me to come to his desk and I got a nice long ‘chat’ about what was appropriate and what wasn’t and some other things I bothered to listen to.
When I walked to my desk I wasn’t all that surprised as to see him. He must have heard what we were talking about or at least saw me with the teacher and decided to pretend like nothing had happened. He had been writing something down when I came to my seat and I thought it was for me. I was wrong. I had sat down right when the teacher called for our essays to be passed forward.
When Victor passed his assessment to me I couldn’t help but notice his cursive handwriting. I was dumbfounded. I mean people wrote in cursive all the time just not like this. Teenagers were too slow and adults wrote in cursive way too quickly. This looked as if it copied each word from the other. I can’t even tell where some words ended and new words began. It stayed in between the lines and flowed marvelously. That was the only reason coming between me and reading his essay, other than the fact that I had to pass it up.
Coming to real life I stood up abruptly and walked over to the person sitting two seats in front of me. I handed him Victor and I’s papers and walked back to my seat. This time as I was walking back I noticed Victor was staring at something… thankfully it wasn’t me. I sat down and couldn’t help my overpowering desire to know what he was so intrigued about rather than me. So that’s when I just slightly looked to my left without moving my head to see a group of unfriendly girls-that rudely pushed me aside in the lunch line once- covering their mouths with their hands for some reason. I figured a joke at first but thought differently when one of the girls looked in my and direction. I couldn’t understand how Victor knew they were talking about him from so far away. As that thought came to my mind the classroom lights went out.
I was watching the movie for about ten seconds when a deep silky enriching voice that should have been playing all the characters in this movie, or at least I thought so secretly in my mind. He whispered something so soft, so matter of fact in so few words I thought I had actually flew out of the window I felt so light. “Hi” was all he said but it was all he needed to say to wrap me up in a smile…even if I didn’t want to. The best part was having it whispered in my ear.
I said hi back but it wasn’t as smooth, soft, connected, or quiet as I thought it would be. It was more like a sheepish chirp of high pitched noise. Some people turned around but most others just ignored me. The only thing I worried about was getting another pep talk from Mr. O’ Donald. Thank goodness he was in the front of the classroom fixated on the television set even though he probably watched the movie a hundred times already.
I wanted to rip a sheet of paper out of my notebook but I knew it would be too loud so I let it go. Somehow Victor was able to quietly get a piece of paper without the students hearing. Victor threw the paper right over my head which landed right in the middle of my desk. There it sat…waiting, just waiting for me to unravel it so that I may see what kinds of words it held for me. For about five minutes I just left it on my desk till I finally had the guts to open the piece of paper and read what was inside.
It read simply: What do you want to know?

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Tag der Veröffentlichung: 14.05.2011

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