Been Together, Lost Forever

I'm finding ways to hurt me,
They say it's never enough
drinking, drinking
one more pill
he's still trying to act tough
How did this all start?
He began with the first drink
Why do I go numb?
A secret I will keep.
We weren't always like this,
we were closer than ever before
You could say it was from that first kiss
then the knock on the front door.

Meeting, Meeting
afterschool
I used to think he was so cool,
Was it for real? Or was I the fool?
He was dying inside, it was hard to see
But now it's easy
Since he's stumbling towards me
He made me feel scared
He made me feel alone
But when I go numb
I forget what's been told,
I forget about the pressure
I forget about the pain
I forget about everything
thrown at me with vain.

Forgetting, Forgetting
How we both changed so well
it helps me remember,
we've all been through Hell.
I could say a lot of things about him
Could tell all his secrets
But I know how much it means
that his secrets are all kept.
If anyone knew, the real boy I know
They wouldn't look through
and could help him find home.
I don't even know what to do anymore.
I feel so cold. I feel so sore.
All my life - I can't remember anymore.

Everything, Everything
passing so fast
The detail of the buildings, all made of glass.
The stop sign towards me passing view.

Everyone, Everyone
paying attention to you.
What is this all about?
I want to be angry, I want to shout!
But right then, I see the reason
and every part of my body
My heart; Everything..
Frozen.
This is the way it's going to end?
I knew I should have helped you
way before then

Because now, I must face the facts
Your gone, it's my fault
and thats that.


Raindrops On Roses

He was my blood and air,
the one person who saw the worst and the best in me
I was nothing to most people,
but he told me I could be everything to somone.
He became my life..
now he's gone,
and I feel my life means nothing.

He brought me to reality,
and I learned happiness could never be forever.

In every life - there's a war.

And as my heart beats - I can't get him out of my mind



My Insanity May Break You

If I wrote my name on the wall with my blood..
Would I be remembered?
Would you feel me with you everyday?
Would you see my face in your dreams?
When you saw that shining star,
Would you wish it on me?
Would you catch me, as I fell to the ground?
So the noise wouldn't break me?
Would you silence the sound,
Because you didn't want to hear me scream?
Would it tear into you?
Would it seep through your skin?
Would it get inside your head?
Would it drive you mad?
All the pain and sadness?
Would my ghostly touch- make you shudder?
Could my haunting turn into your nightmare?
Please, I need to know.
Because if all those things are true,
I may not write those words.


Live life to it's fullest? Sometimes you need a little shove

Coldness,
Creeping over me like madness
My mind, body - Everything
Covered in Black.
Nostalgia filling my head.
Nightmares will make me blind.
That voice, will deafen me once again.
The words- your words, will soften the blow
Just a little bit.

I will be inaudible.
The screams and cries, cause more pain
Dying, but not physically,
MENTALLY - you're killing me.
That unforgettable taste.
That smell- your smell.
I remember so clearly.
Yet everything is a
blur.

Slow motion.
Someone says something.
The words go through me
like air.
You see me in my breakdown
and they say after everything
you're still happy that i'm alive.
That I survived what I did to myself.
But: It kilt me more,
Seeing you everyday.

Everyone saying they care about me
I don't. Especially about me.
Because that's what YOU used to do..

Before you strangled me with lies.


The world is so Black and White, it finds ways to create differences

Concious.
Awake.
But i'm so far.
So distant.
So out of it no one would believe it.
People.
Staring.
Carefully.
Back to reality.
Where everything is blank.
Where no one knows me.

Them.
Wandering.
Blankly.
Through the darkness.
They don't see me.
Unlike them - who are light.
I AM DARK.

I blend int the background.
But then I feel it.
The sudden bump.
That's when I know.
Maybe the world isn't as black and white as I thought.

I AM NOT ALONE.
But,
Something is missing.


Listen Closer..Do You Hear The Voices?

Listen closer,
Do you hear it?
Can you see it?
Do you believe it?
Cutting into you.
Breaking into you.
Destroying you.
Stuck like glue.
Remembering,
who you were
what you were
what you ARE.
Is it true?
The lies about you
Come and Go
Did you know?
Did you fear?
What is real?
Do you know,
What I feel?


Great, Now It Shattered

Put a collar on me,
with a little name tag.
You still wouldn't know my name.
Walk me around,
On a little blue leash
No way would I bring you fame
Catch me.
Put me in a cage.
And you still wouldn't get my ways
You probably know by now
You don't know me at all!
Maybe i'll give you a call -
but not today.
Cause i'm done being what you want.
I'm gonna find my fame -
MY WAY

Impressum

Tag der Veröffentlichung: 10.11.2009

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