Chapter 1

Chapter 1:

 Deep breath in, hold it, hold it, now release.

I swung the door open, my heart thundering and sweat beading on my forehead. I hated Fridays. I quietly stepped inside; my bag feeling like it weighed more than it actually did. The house was silent but I didn’t release the breath I was holding as I crept inside and shut the door. My exit was sealed and now there was no other way to leave.

I walked forward and slipped upstairs, my shoes gliding over the marble floors. It was a beautiful house with its old structure and wide spread rooms. I peeked into the living room and sighed with relief when I realized ‘he’ wasn’t home. I walked towards my room next to the stairs and opened the door.

 It wasn’t anything special; in fact it was quite plain with a single bed and table. The bed sheets were a pale green with a flowery design that seemed drab and depressing. The table was covered in paint and had ink patches across it symbolizing that it was old and weathered. I placed my bag onto the floor and leaned against the door.

Pain.

Blood.

Amber.

Cold.

I collapsed to the floor on my knees and waited for the tears. Nothing came, I could never cry. I silently grabbed my discarded bag and rifled through it till I latched onto my old Nokia. It’s screen flashed and winked at me and I checked for any messages. Nothing.

Tendrils of blonde hair fell into my face and I brushed it off, my thoughts drifting onto why ‘he’ wasn’t here. It wasn’t that I was upset; truth is I was actually quite pleased. He wasn’t here to hurt me, to hit me, and to make me feel horrible. My phone started buzzing in my hand and I glanced at the screen. Mum.

I pressed the answer button, and impersonating the best happy go lucky voice I greeted her.

“Honey?” her voice buzzed through the earpiece. I felt like crying. I hadn’t heard her voice for a long time.

“Hey mum” I croaked then laughed nervously. “What’s up?” I heard some rustling, whispering and then giggles, before she answered. “Sorry baby, I won’t be home for some time.” More rustling and whispering. “Can you tell dad?”

No, I thought, I don’t want too, because I want you to be home and stop cheating on dad. I want you to save me for once. But instead I replied “sure.” And before I could say anything else she had already hung up. No goodbye, no see you later, and no love you.

I dropped my hand limply to my side and gently slammed my head against the wall, staring blankly at the roof. We were meant to paint my roof black and stick glow in the dark stars. We were meant to be laughing and enjoying ourselves, but that never happened. A lot of things never happened. Like that birthday, that mother’s day, that forgotten Christmas. Those things we forgot, those things we never celebrated.

The light was dimming outside; the stars and the moon were coming out slowly. I stood up, my school uniform hitting my knees as I brushed the creases out. I crossed to the table and gently grabbed the frame which was poised on the surface. Three smiling faces smiled upon me. Three faces that weren’t aware that their lives were going to change forever. The faces belonged to my dad, my mum and my brother.

 Where was I? I was there, but I wasn’t in the photo. That day I hadn’t felt like joining. Sometimes I wished I had. Sometimes I wished I had gotten up from that bench and stopped reading that book and entered that moment. Then I’ll always have that special picture before everything changed. Before everything fell and broke around me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The girl sat there, the sun gleaming onto her blonde hair and casting an unearthly glow around her. Her face contorted in concentration as she frowned at the book which lay in her hand. It was a thin paperback and looked much worn. She bit her nail and then glanced up when her name was called.

“Winter!”

A boy, not much older than her, thundered in her direction. He shared the same features as the girl. With the same delicate bone structure, lean body and narrow nose, the only difference in eye color. His eyes were a deep brown, the color of coffee beans and hot chocolate, while her eyes were a pale green the color of grass. 

“I was calling you for ages” he stressed as he grabbed onto her arm and flashed a toothy grin. It was a smile that had many ladies falling towards his feet and praising the ground he walked on. The girl, known as Winter, hid her pleased smile and shot him a false annoyed look. “I was reading”, she answered in a snobby voice with her nose turned up. He rolled his eyes and tried to grab the book; however Winter was faster and was able to hide it behind her back. “We want to take a photo” he said as he tried again but failed miserably when she kicked him lightly on the shin. “I don’t want to be in it”, she said stubbornly. Her chin jutted out as she grimaced at the thought of smiling at a camera and having all her imperfections caught on screen. “But—“she raised her hand firmly and silenced her brother. “Go,” she ordered.

The boy frowned and pursed his pale pink lips before racing back, his long legs carrying across the expanse of the greenery. “You’re going to regret it…”

But the girl was already bent over her book.

 “I don’t regret the things I’ve done; I regret the things I didn’t do when I had the chance”-unknown

 

Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

Bang.

The door banged downstairs and I shot up from the bed, listening for any sudden movement downstairs. My breathing was restricted to shallow intakes as my hands shook nervously. I felt sweat begin to gather under my armpits and I tucked the quilts more firmly around my body.

There was slapping of feet as it ascended the stairs and I froze as I saw a shadow stop in front of my door. I stayed silent as I prayed for divine intervention but my luck wasn’t present today. The door began creaking open slowly and then it banged against the wall. I winced at the noise and stared at the man who was illuminated by the light behind him.

“I told you not to close your door” he whispered in a frightening voice. Shivers travelled up my spine and Goosebumps broke out on my skin. He inched closer to me as he flicked the light on, the light flashing on in an instant. His eyes were a cold brown and his blonde hair fell messily into his face. He cracked his knuckles as he removed his leather belt from around his waist and held it tightly. I pushed my back against the bed frame as he walked up to me. The wood pressing against my thick sweatshirt.

Clutching the photo frame forcefully in my hands I watched him silently as he snuck up to me like a predator. He raised his hand with the belt in it and lashed out at me. My hands flew up to cover my face as I tumbled out of the bed and the frame smashed into pieces next to me. The glass jabbed into my skin as the leather slid against my body harshly.

Whack, whack, whack.

His eyes were lit up in pleasure. His smile stretching out across his face as he watched me silently. 

Pain. So much pain that I could hardly breathe.

Blood.

Amber.

Cold.

Lights.

Nothing came out of my mouth but I was silently screaming. No one would hear, no one would come, and no one would make him stop.

It was a while before he stopped, before he got up and left. I laid there on the floor, my mouth opened in a silent scream as pain shot up through my body. My hands numbly felt around me for the photo and came across the shattered frame. It was broken…

 

 

 

 

The boy smiled gently at the girl who sat next to him. Her blonde hair was messy and her eyes were blood shot. “It was me wasn’t it?” she said, breaking the silence as she stared blankly ahead. The boy placed a hand on her head and made her look at him, his kind brown eyes peering into her soul.

“If he broke up with you it’s his lose” he replied confidently. He was always confident, always happy and always there for his sister. He wrapped his strong arms around his sister and held her closely, his breath fanning across her face and picking up loose tendrils. “It’s going to be okay” he whispered now, his voice feeling like silk.

He petted her hair as he fell back onto his bed. She lay on his chest and she grabbed his shirt and let the last tears slip out. She had thought he was the one. Or at least she thought her judgment was better. “I was going to give you this on your birthday, but I think you need it now” he said breaking the silence. She looked at him through sad eyes as he sat up and detangled himself from her.

He stood up and walked towards the table and opened a drawer at the side. The wood slipped easily and he pulled out a something. The girl straightened her back and tried to peer past him to see what it was. He quickly hid it behind his back as he turned to her and shot her a cheeky grin. His dimples revealed themselves as his teeth flashed and his eyes crinkled at the edges. “Here” he said as he handed her something.

It was a frame with a beautiful intricate design and a purple butterfly. It glinted and smelled of polish as if it had just been cleaned. The girl stared amazed at the photo inside. It was from the time they were at the creek, with her parents and her brother. She looked up gratefully at him and opened her arms wide open, her eyes glistening with renewed tears. Her brother bent down and they embraced tightly, the frame pressed in-between them.

“What I like about photographs is that they capture a moment that’s gone forever, impossible to reproduce.” ― Karl Lagerfeld

 

 

 

Chapter 3

Chapter 3:

The sun streamed through the curtains and onto my face. My throat burned and felt like a barren desert within. I winced as I laid on my stomach and stared at the crumpled photo in my hand, the faces gleaming at me through the white creases. I kissed it gently as I heaved myself up onto my knees, the pain ripping through my back and shocking my senses. Biting my lip and drawing blood, I crawled towards the side table where I fumbled with the handle. My hands finally latched onto the metal bar and I was able to open the wooden cabinet. I felt like screaming when I bent slightly down and peered into the darkness within.

Rolls of bandages, ointments and painkillers sat neatly stacked. My hands slipped through and I grabbed a packet of pain killers and an ointment for the bruises. I swallowed the painkillers in one go, the tablet slipping down my throat. I sat there a moment, just listening to any noises.

When there was nothing, not even a peep I placed the crumpled picture into my bra and slowly slithered to the bathroom next to my room. I shut the door behind me and locked it before heaving myself up and onto the granite bench. Pain shot from my back and I wanted to scream as I pulled my top of and discarded it onto the floor. It fell limply, the faded material looking lifeless and dead. I held my breath as I peered behind me and examined the extensive bruising. It was bad.

There were angry bruises all over my backside and slight red gashes. I placed a dab of the ointment onto my hand and tried to reach all the wounds. It stung horribly and it was like my back was on fire, burning uncontrollably. A single tear slipped out before it was followed by others.

Pain. So much pain that I could hardly breathe

Tears. Tears were falling and damping my bloodied clothes as I screamed.

 Blood.

Amber.

Cold.

Lights.

The tube cluttered onto the floor and I swore under my breath. I signed as I watched it rock back and forth. I was tired.

I hadn’t had a proper rest in ages, and I could feel heavy bags under my eyes, dragging the skin around it under. I wiped my hands around my face and slapped my cheeks as I softly got off the hard cold bench. I bent down and gasped at the pain before quickly snatching my top and the tube before straightening out. I heaved a breath in and wiped the sweat from my forehead at the amount of effort I had to produce.

Stepping out and into the cool interior of the house, I hobbled back into the room where I looked through the clothes in the ancient cupboard. It was a towering thing with plain and washed-out timber. When I found some long black baggy tracksuit pants and a loose red top, I carefully slipped into it, watching out for my wounds. I placed the tube on the table on my way out and walked past the numerous rooms before reaching the kitchen.

It was a classic wooden kitchen with attractive red cupboards and golden doorknobs. The white and steel appliances glinted in the sun and it was a truly stunning sight. I stared at the spot in the center…

The boy held out his hand and handed the little girl a small piece of his chocolate. It was a single cubed size piece and the girl frowned at what she received. She wanted some more and she pursed her lips in annoyance.

“I wanna some more bigga broa” she whined. The boy stared at the girl in affection before laughing at her adorable expression. “You had your share before”, he said lightly, but never the less broke another piece and handed it to her. “But here”. She grinned up at the boy, the chocolate smudging around her face as she ate it messily.

“Thanks broa”

I took out a glass and filled it with water, the clear liquid spraying into the glass. I lifted it to my lips and gulped it, licking my chapped lips and letting it run soothingly down my throat. I signed as I carefully placed the glass down and turned towards the window. It was a cloudless day, the blue sky filling the expanse. The trees swaying gently in the wind and the leaves swirling.

The girl held a leaf in her hand and grinned as she showed her brother. “Look broa I found a petty leafy” she said giggling. The boy gently took it out of her hand. “Good work”.

I walked towards the attached living room and lowered myself down onto the black sofa. It squeaked beneath me as it took my weight, and seizing the remote I flicked the TV on. The screen appeared and focused on a news report.

“The ambulances have just rushed to the scene and it is total chaos” the lady said as she waved her hands around to emphasize a point. “Two people are dead and twelve are missing”, I stared at the screen blankly. Dead.

“Why do people die?” the girl asked her friend. Her friend shrugged as she pushed herself higher up the swing. “I don’t know” she answered, “but it doesn’t matter”. The girl’s blonde hair fell into her face as she frowned at her friend. It did matter though, it was a question she was curious about…

“Jonny Black and Dean Wolfe are the ones who have been reported dead…”

How would the family be feeling?

“Wait, there’s news of another body that’s been discovered….” The lady said urgently, her body bouncing on the balls of her feet. “Mike Campbell has just been confirmed dead…”

Mike Campbell…

The man from before….

The man who hurts me…

The man who’s my father….

Was dead.

The girl cowered in fear, her hair sticking to her face as her father came towards her. He spat on her face and pointed an accusing finger at her. “It’s your entire fault”. She whimpered pathetically as he kicked her and grabbed her roughly by her upper arms.

“Please don’t daddy”.

 It is idle to dread what you cannot avoid- Publilius Syrus

Chapter 4

Chapter 4:

The afternoon light cast a dim glow around the house as I sat there staring vacantly at the TV. The news had finished hours ago but I hadn’t moved from my spot. It was like I was paralyzed as the cartoons flickered on the screen. Why?

The girl had frozen when she heard the news, her lip quivering as the shock bathed over her. She thought she heard something falling next to her….

The phone was ringing and the noise was echoing around the house, filling the silence. I got up numbly and walked slowly towards the device which was lying on the counter. I pressed the answer button and placed the phone close to my ear. Silence.

I listened and strained for any noise. “B-baby” my mother’s voice cackled. I froze, my lips sealing shut and my mind blanking. “Baby you there…?”

Swallow.

“I-I’m here” I replied. I heard a sign of relief and then some background noise. Laughing and squealing filled the silence and I winced as my mum whispered too someone seductively. I sat on the stool from under the counter, being careful not to hurt my bruises. “I’m sure you heard” my mother’s voice rang out clearly after a moment. I nodded mutely and wanted to cry when I heard the way my mother began talking so lifelessly about him. Like he was a stranger and not the man she was, no is, married too.

“Mike knew the dangers about working in that mine. It was only a matter of time before he died…” more background whispering.

“Dad, where do you work?” the girl asked as she chewed on her pen lid and glanced at her dad from the corner of her eye. He smiled at her and gently took the pen from her mouth. “He works in a mine” her brother answered as he walked from his room and came towards them. In his hand he held a basketball. “Want to come play little sis?” he asked as he came to stand in front of her. She looked up from her spot on the stool and grinned, the smile filling up her whole face and sending alight her eyes. “Sure”.

“Now the question is what to do about you…”

I could just picture her holding her head and rubbing her temples. Her brown hair falling into her green eyes and her delicate frame slumping in thought. “You can’t stay there by yourself” she muttered to herself. I opened my mouth to suggest that she come home for once but she had already butted in. “I’ll figure things out. I got to go now—Jon stop!” she squealed.

I shut my mouth when the dial tone came on and let my shoulders sag. She hung up…again…

“Bye mum” the blonde girl said for the thirteenth time. She tapped her foot impatiently on the floor and huffed her breath when her mother repeated once again, “I love you Winter, but please be safe and don’t be afraid to call”. The girl laughed as her mother kept rambling on. “Mum stop please!” she said and her mother chuckled nervously.

I leaned my back against the stool and winced as stray tears slipped out and fell onto my lap. Wrapping my arms around my body I cried to myself. I cried because no one was here. I cried because I was alone and scared and I cried in self-pity. All the pain just came out and I let the sobs rake through my body, heaving it harshly and filling it with darkness.

“...you know that a good, long session of weeping can often make you feel better, even if your circumstances have not changed one bit.” ― Lem

Chapter 5

Chapter 5:

I stood in front of my parent’s door. I half expected to hear his snores or him moving heavily around but all I heard was nothing. I slowly lifted my hands up to clasp the knob and took a deep fortifying breath in.

It had been three days. Three days since my dad was discovered dead. Three days since my mum called and three days since I had cried like that. I remember letting myself be consumed by the tears and falling to the ground in a crumpled heap. I remember the stool clashing to the ground and chucking the phone at the wall in a fit of blind rage. I remember it falling to the ground as I sobbed and screamed into my hands. No one to hold me, no one to comfort me…

Just swing the door open.

The door creaked open on its hinges and I peered cautiously inside. I half expected him to step out and lunge at me. I expected him to hit me, punch me, and hurt me but he never did because he wasn’t even there. I stepped inside and stared around the room. It smelt of beer and alcohol, it smelt of death and depression.

Take another step.

 The curtains were drawn but I could see the king size bed in the center with stains and the huge floor length mirror. This was the best room with its pale purple walls and soft plush carpet. I squeezed my toes and closed my eyes as I basked in the presence of the room. When I opened my eyes tears were already slipping out and falling to the floor. I quickly wiped them away and walked towards the window where I cracked it open to get rid of the stifling alcoholic stench. I stared at the bright moon which winked mockingly from above and leaned my forehead against the cool glass.    

Pain. So much pain that I could hardly breathe

Tears. Tears were falling and damping my bloodied clothes as I screamed.

Glass jabbed into my side and pierced my skin.

Blood.

Amber.

Cold.

Lights.

I pushed myself off the window and took a deep breath in. The air was cleaner now and more cleansed. I walked towards the bed and slipped under the covers, burying my face in the coarse sheets. It gave me a false feeling of security….

Wails filled the house and two people burst into a room. The lady looked exhausted but alert and the man looked worried. They both peered into the darkness and flicked the switch on to see a tiny five year old girl crying into her arms on the bed. The lady walked to her slowly and knelt in front of the child.

“What’s wrong Winter?” she enquired as she grabbed the child’s face in her palms. “There’s a monster under my bed!” she wailed as tears spilled over her eyes and onto her nightgown. The man came forward and looked under the bed, “no there’s not” he said soothingly. “No there is” she cried, “it’s gone now but I’m scared daddy”.

Her parents looked at each other and her daddy scooped her up and into his strong arms. “Then come sleep with us” he said, “nothing will ever harm you”.

I sniffed the sheets and took in the scent of the man that was known as my father. Even though he had changed completely, I could still smell that faint aftershave he uses and that musty smell of chemicals. I scrunched the sheets in my hands and grabbed the pillow in an even tighter embrace. If I could just try and imagine this was my father I was hugging.

There was something bumpy inside the pillow case and it poked me softly. Carefully I put my hands inside and searched blindly inside for the disturbance. I grasped something cool and hesitantly I withdrew it out. It was a gold cross on a chain….

The boy showed his sister the golden cross which dangled from a sturdy looking golden chain around his neck. It was a simple piece of jewelry but the way the boy wore it made it seem more than it was worth. “Wow” his sister said in amazement, her golden hair falling in her face as she touched it lightly. He puffed out his chest and smiled at his sister. “It’s cool right? And it’s mine”.

I touched the tainted cross lightly and sat up carefully because of the bruising. I took out the picture and scrutinized it to see my brother having it securely around his muscular neck. I traced everyone’s content smile before folding the picture and tucking it back in my ratty bra. Slowly I unclasped the chain and slipped it on, the cool metal falling in-between my breasts. I didn’t know my father had this…

 I laid back and stared at the roof, tracing the cracks with my eyes and letting my fingers brush over the cool metal.

“I want one!” the little girl whined as she stared longingly at the cross. “Maybe when you’re older” the boy said in an attempt to calm his sister. It did nothing but make her angrier. Her ears caught red and her lips pursed as she narrowed her eyes.

 

“Everybody going to be dead one day, just give them time.” ― Neil Gaiman

 

 

Chapter 6

Chapter 6:

I woke up with a start; the phone rings the only sound filling the house. I shot out of the bed and stumbled drunkenly to the living room. My hand grabbed blindly at things on the counter before it met the cool surface of the ringing phone. I pressed answer and moved the phone too my ear, glancing at the clock to see it was 3:00 am in the morning.

“Baby you there?” a voice called. I grunted in reply as I passed a hand across my face, trying to get some sort of reality back. “Baby sorry to call so late, but I forgot to tell you that your father’s funeral is in one weeks’ time and I can’t make it…”

 I nearly choked on my saliva when she said she wouldn’t come and kept blabbering useless excuses. I knew the real reason she couldn’t come. It wasn’t for work, or for a business trip, it was because she didn’t want to waste her time. She didn’t even want to see me…

“M-mum I” but by then she had already hung up, her laughter the last I heard. She didn’t even care…

I collapsed onto the stool and gripped the chain tightly around my hand, the tears burning my eyes and the snot glands opening up. I wiped my face hastily with the upside of my palm and bit into my lip. Blood.

There was so much pain that I could hardly breathe

The tears were falling and damping my bloodied clothes as I screamed.

Glass jabbed into my side and pierced my skin.

Blood dripped from the cuts on my body.

Amber.

Cold.

Lights.

I brought my fingers up to my lips and applied pressure to the wound. I felt the moist texture of my lips against my calloused fingers and pulled at the bottom area. I don’t know how long I stayed there, just playing with my lips and staring emptily towards the front, but before long streams of light were hitting the cabinets and golden handles.

I snapped out of it when I felt the urging need to go to the toilet and do my business. I got up and crept across the hall before coming to a stop in front of a door with a cracked ceramic nametag reading ‘toilet’. It was painted faded yellow with sunflowers dotting the corners and leaves swirling around the side. I touched it…

The boy held the paint brush in the air and admired his master piece. “Winter, what ya think?” he asked excitedly to his little sister who sat playing with her dolls. She looked at it and dropped the dolls on the dirt before racing to him. She came to stand next to him and examined the work critically, her chubby face not giving away anything.

The boy was getting nervous and shifted in his shoes. Was it good? He thought. Then a smile broke out on her face and she held his hand in hers. “It’s wonderful…”

I finished my business and now stood in front of the mirror staring at the girl ahead of me. She looked dead. Like death had sucked the life out of her and fed her something sour. Her eyes were miserable as if she were suffering un-known things. I looked away, my eyes downcast as I swung the door open and exited the bathroom. That girl was me.

The mother brushed her daughter’s hair from her face. The girl’s eyes were alight with happiness and her smile was one of a kind. “You’re so pretty” her mother murmured…

I lay on the bed in my parent’s room, my heart was aching and my eyes were burning with fatigue. I shut them tightly and let the fitful sleep consume me.

“Last words are always harder to remember when no one knows that someone's about to die.”―John Green

 

 

 

Chapter 7

Chapter 7:

I stood there in my knee length black dress with long sleeves and a red ribbon around the bodice. Mum had sent it in the mail with a boutique of fresh lilies and a card detailing how sorry she was. I knew she wasn’t.

I slipped on the black stockings, letting the fabric glide across my legs. The chain dangled from my neck as I dropped down and took out the photo from my pants pocket. The photo was dangerously creased and wormed out at the edges by the number of times I played with it and held it in my hands. I kissed the faces gently and prayed for divine blessings as I placed it in my bag which I prepared the day before for this outing.

I made my way downstairs and past the pictures hanging from the wall. One was a dagger of silver while the other was a ship encased in a frame. They were both amazing pieces of art, but why they hung on our walls were always a mystery to me.

Slipping through the great big theater room I stared at the huge screen mounted on the brown wall. The pool table was edged to the side with the soft linen covering it for protection. It was one of my father’s greatest treasures.

The door swung open as I entered the garage, the silver car sitting there lonesome and without a user. It was the thing I would be using to drive to the funeral. Everything was clustered and had a collecting of dust on it as I searched through the countless amounts of shoes for a suitable pair.

After about a few minutes of aimless searching I came across my mother’s old ballet flats. It didn’t look too bad, just a little dirty around the bottom. I slipped them on and signed with relief because it was a perfect fit. Long ago my mother and I would share shoes and sometimes even shirts with each other.

I took the keys out from the bag around my shoulder and opened the door to the car; it’s double beeping resounding loudly in the otherwise quite area. I took the few strides to the device hanging by the garage door and pressed down on the button so it lifted the metal surface up. It creaked and groan from lack of use and I sympathized with it. We hadn’t used this in ages.

When the door was lifted up I scaled back to the side of the new car and opened the door before lifting myself inside. I breathed in the fragrant smell of lavenders from the air fresher hanging of the side and leaned back against the soft interior. Its black contrasted boldly with the outside and when I turned the key everything ignited as one. The music drifted softly towards my ears as it played my father’s favorite track and the blue lights cast an glow around my hands.

“Dad, can you please change the music?” a voice demanded from the back seat as the car urged onwards. The father dared a glance back and laughed at his daughters annoyed expression. “These are the classics baby girl” he said as he revved the engine and listened to it purr. “These are the good stuff…”

I was driving down the road, the car easily cutting through the air like a knife as I made my way to the cemetery. I knew where it was…

“We are gathered here today to say goodbye to a…”

I pressed harder on the gas, letting the car inch a little above the speed limit.

“Let us remember the times we have spent with…”

I flicked the blinker on and took a left turn onto a gravel pathway before making my way towards the church which sat towering majestically on top of a hill. It was old with greying bricks and vines crawling up its sides. Roses bushes dotted the area and a sense of death clung to the air.

“Lest we forget this person who touched so many lives…”

I quickly parked the car and got out, racing to the funeral which was about to begin. My hair blew into my face but I ignored it as I came to stand amongst the cluster of bodies surrounding the body of my father. His face was a pasty white and his hands were draped around his heart holding lilies to his chest. His lips had a purplish hue to them and all I could do was stare at him. This was the first time I saw him, but not the first I’ve seen a dead body… 

The preacher came to stand before us and raised his hands to the heavens above. “We are gathered here today in remembrance of Mike Campbell and to say goodbye to our fellow friend. Let us remember the times we have spent with him and lest we forget the lives he has touched…”

These speeches were all rehearsed. Everything they said was all rehearsed. Like the times someone comes up to you can says there ‘sorry’ when they accidently hit you. They don’t mean it; it’s just polite to say.

“Let us never forget Mike Campbell…”

“Let us always remember Light Campbell…”

“I wish I had a memory of that first violent shove, the shock of cold air, the sting of oxygen into new lungs. Everyone should remember being born. It doesn't seem fair that we only remember dying.” ― Lauren DeStefano

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 8

Chapter 8:

The funeral had finished with many signs of condolences for the loss of my father. People had shot me sympathetic looks and whispered cold enquires behind my back.

“What is she going to do?”

“I heard this isn’t the first time”.

“Poor girl”.

I had immediately separated from the bustling group which gravitated around the snacks laid outside the church. It was too stuffy and restricting amongst them. I just decided to walk down the ancient winding paths of the cemetery, the stones jutting out from the ground and the angels looking down upon me with cruel unseeing eyes. I always hated these places…

A lady stood there holding her daughters hand as the preacher said those last words only kept for the dead. Tears were slipping out of both there swollen eyes as their bodies trembled like towers about to collapse. The girls black dress with the red ribbon hung limply around her body as she held onto a photo. The mother glanced across, and something came across her face. Something dark and cruel….

I stopped in front of a grave stone with an angel that stood proudly on a pedestal as its hands arched upwards, palm side up. However its eyes were cast downwards and stared at me intently.

‘Light Campbell’

The name engraved firmly into the stone stood out boldly.

 “Let us always remember Light Campbell…”

A man stood from afar and watched the casket go down. In his hands he held a gold cross and a chain. His eyes were bloodshot as he swung the wine bottle to his lips and took a long gulp of the liquid. He was drowning his sorrows deep within him. But as his eyes swept over the huddled group of people they couldn’t help but land on the girl with the red ribbon. It was all her fault, he thought bitterly. His daughter shall be punished…

I sat in the car, just watching the people walk past as they chattered midst themselves without a care in the world. They looked so happy as if the death of someone was long forgot and just a discarded memory. I revved the engine and rubbed my hands gently across the steering wheel, my foot pressing lightly on the gas. And as I left that place, past those big iron gates, I wished that I would never have to come back.

My phone buzzed in my purse which lay to the side of me. I quickly glanced at it before my hand reached blindly. After clasping the solid thing from within the purses soft interior, I pressed answer and waited for the voice, my eyes focusing firmly on the road.

“Hello is this Winter?” a scratchy voice asked uncertainly. I answered straight back, unsure of myself because I’ve never heard this person before. “Yes this is Winter.” Silence.

“Winter” the voice said, and then its voice filled with pity. “I’m sure your mothers told you. And so I just called to make--”

“Told me what” I butted in lightly, my eyebrows crunching in confusion as I raked my mind for whatever knowledge of the situation.

“Oh” was her only reply and I could just imagine her frowning dispassionately, while twirling the phone cord around her finger. “Winter” she said slowly, “you’re coming to live in America with me…”

The words didn’t transfer in my slow processing brain right away. However when it did I unconsciously slammed the brakes and the car skidded to a halt in front of a driveway. It threw me forward and the seatbelt cut into my ribs and tender skin as the air was punched out of me.

“Your mother probably forgot to tell you” her voice continued through the speaker, not realizing the distress she was causing me. “She’s a busy woman, so you should be proud of her and—”

Cutting her off harshly I stated the question I’ve been wondering for some time now, “who are you?”

The silence met me again, it was like a wall and it was overpowering. “Your aunty…”

The three boys stood there in the wide garden throwing the Frisbee around in the afternoon sun. “BOYS!” a voice yelled and a lady came through the glass sliding door. In her hands were some cool drinks placed on a silver tray. “If you don’t keep hydrated in this heat, you’ll pass out,” she said lightly. The three young children ran to the lady, just coming to realize their thirst. One child was blonde with warm brown eyes while the other two had mousy brown hair and blue eyes. They were the finest of young lads and the best of friends. Then a tiny girl came to stand behind the lady, her pale green eyes glowing as she stared affectionately at her brother. “Winter would you like some?” the ladies voice inquired…

After my chat with the lady who calls herself my aunty, I hung up and let my head lean back against the head rest, my eyes shutting close to block out the world. I wish I could just block out everything bad, everything that’s ever hurt me.

It was a honk that snapped me out of my daze and I stared back at the angry driver behind me through the review mirror. His eyes held annoyance and his face was twisted in a sour look as he shot me an evil glare. Not wanting to have a confrontation I pressed on the gas and urged the car forward, the light glinting from the silver exterior.

I hadn’t realized I was going in circles around the block till I passed the same house twice. I grunted in irritation and decided to stop the car and ask for directions from a man who was racing down the path. He stopped and pointed in the direction of my street, his hands clammy and his face dripping with sweat.

There was so much pain that I could hardly breathe

The tears were falling and damping my bloodied clothes as I screamed.

Glass jabbed into my side and pierced my skin.

Blood dripped from the cuts on my body.

There was sweat and it dripped from his face.

Amber.

Cold.

Lights.

 

Raising my hand I stared emotionless towards the front, muttering a quick thank you through my chapped lips, before driving in the direction the man had pointed.

True to his advice I reached my house within minutes. I parked the car on the side and replayed what my aunty said in my mind. After she had stated that she was my blood relative she had gone into detail about the process of my departure from Australia. She said that she would post all the needed things like tickets and further instructions and what to pack. It was all planned through and there was no room left for my input. My input wasn’t necessary in this case.

“It’s also easier” she had said, “since you have an American passport to transfer here”.

I opened the car door and stepped out into the evening, the warmth bathing on my face and blanketing me in its embrace. I signed in content as I walked up the concrete driveway and towards the front door. Everything was changing.

“Change happens” the friend said while shrugging her shoulders, “you weren’t seriously thinking things will be the same between us right?” Winter stood there, looking at her stupidly before answering in a small and quit voice, “but I thought we were best friends forever…”The girl laughed obnoxiously and pointed a long finger at her. “Things change no matter what”.

“Things change. And friends leave. Life doesn't stop for anybody.” ― Stephen Chbosky,

     

 

 

 

 

     

 

Chapter 9

Chapter 9:

The orange A4 sized envelope arrived a few days after the funeral. I hadn’t gone to school for quite some time but I had a valid excuse so I was pardoned. Now I stood in the living room, holding the thick paper which encased everything before nervously tearing into it.

 

Papers clattered to the floor in one big heap and I quickly fell to my knees, the cool marble floor pressing against my jeans. I tried to gather all the fallen pieces, trying to get some sense of order back. It was like my life at that moment. Scattered in a pile of distress.

After I had gathered all the papers in my hands, I placed them on the counter and began scanning through them. My pale green eyes focusing on words such as ‘sell the house, ‘move’, ‘new’ and ‘life’. Can this opportunity really give me a new life? Can it really change and save me? I doubted anything can potentially do that, and so I held the ticket numbly in my palm, its words blinking at me suggestively.

 

“I love planes” the boy said as he held onto his sister’s hand and watched the jet fly above their house.

 

The clock chimed midnight and I swept the papers back into the packet. I had gone through them thoroughly and I was slightly impressed by the detail they expressed. Apparently mum had placed the house on the market and already had a potential buyer. It was too sell for at least 700,000 dollars. Mum had also organized my withdrawal to Atlanta where my aunty lived with her husband and two kids. I was to live amongst them in the old room that used to occupy the eldest sibling. If I remember correctly the room was painted a pale blue and had stickers stuck on the walls. It was also determined that I would attend the same school as them and a picture was sent for reference.

The building had white pillars at the front and the roof looked like it stood ten stories high. The grass stretched over the front and to the side of the picture I viewed what looked like an arena.

 

And on a sticky note she wrote to me in her cursive writing that I would leave in three days’ time. It apparently gave me enough time to pack the most important of items as the rest would be sold. My table, my drawers, my cupboard and my bed were all going to be given away to a stranger.

 

A breath escaped my lips and I gave a breathy sign. Standing up I walked to the coach and dropped into it, before switching on the TV. The screen zoned into the midnight show, which basically made fun and humiliated everything in the world. I watched as the faces lit up with happiness and the people danced across the screen.

 

Then my eyes were feeling droopy and I felt the remote fall limply to the floor as I went into the depths of the dream world.

 

Cries filled the air as whipping noises resounded throughout. Inside a room a girl was getting whipped by her father for a petty reason. She had eaten before him and he had found out, though how is a mystery. The girl was hungry due to the reason that she hadn’t eaten in a few days. She had felt powerful when she could finally control something in her messed up life. Though the starvation had been too much and she had nearly collapsed with fatigue. The pain in her stomach ripping and shredding her insides.

 

 “You have no control over what the other guy does. You only have control over what you do.” ― A. J. Kitt

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 10

Chapter 10:

There are moments in life where you feel so tiny and insignificant like an ant or a passing wind. Where you just want to grab onto your mummy and hide your face in her neck too block out the world. You just want to block out to harsh reality and turn a blind eye, you want remain blissful to the adult world.

 

I looked out and stared at the land bellow. It stretched out and seemed to go on forever till it peeked over the horizon. The clouds were lushes and bloomed like white fairy floss, the moon glowing and smiling down upon the land with its gentle caress. The glass was cool against my fingers and I watched fascinated as the lights winked signally people’s existence beneath. People who didn’t know that I was up here, watching them as they lived sheltered lives. 

 

“Please fasten your seatbelts” a voice rang out throughout the partially deserted cabin. It had only the odd business man who sat typing furiously at his computer, a permanent frown etched onto their face. “We about to land in Atlanta…” I zoned out as the voice continued in a monotonous speech, its dialogue practiced and refined throughout the years.

 

The plane shuddered as it descended towards the ground, the tarmac surface rushing towards us and my stomach dropped south. I clutched the hand rest and shifting nervously I shut my eyes…

Breath in, breath out...

 

It was quiet and peaceful for a moment as we were suspended between the air and the floor. Our breathing the only noise with the harsh sliding of the chairs surface. Then gravity wrapped its hand across the planes body and tugged harshly and the impact of the touch down sent me spiraling up slightly.

 

When we came to a standstill in front of the terminal I signed with relief and waited for the lights to blink off. The voice came back through the static and thanked us for travelling with them as I stood up and stretched for my single bag. In it I had securely packed a large amount of photo albums and a few articles of clothing from my dad and brother. I wanted to keep them with me as I travelled. To be honest, those last few days I had to myself to pack, I had totally discarded the list and took everything I deemed worthy. Like my IPod, underwear, and some worn and washed out shirts and jeans. My mum had sent me a new phone with a beautiful sleek touch screen and a pair of black earphones as an apology of some sort.

 

I checked the watch which hung around my hand and for the 100th time admired its loveliness. It belonged to my father and he had received it from my brother and I for father’s day. His face had been filled with utter joy as mum snapped quick photos with her digital pink camera. We had all laughed that day.

 

There were only two precious things I carried with me. The golden cross and the watch which belonged to my most dearest. Not even the phone and expensive earphones could begin to cover its value.

Walking out into the empty terminal I cast a speculative look around. No one was there and the lights glowed a path towards the exit. Walking in the direction of what I hoped was the exit I rolled the brown bag behind me, the wheels sliding smoothly against the pale splotchy floor.

 

“One day” the boy said, “we’ll go somewhere. Just the two of us, without mum and dad”. He turned towards his sister and she looked at him through wide eyes. “I don’t want to. I’m too scared…” Her brother grinned at her and held her hand as he climbed onto the tree trunk, the sun glistening of his blonde hair and casting a halo around his face. “I’ll be there to protect you…”

 

The tanned lady scanned the passport before typing something with her long red nails. Her black hair tied back in a messy bun and sitting atop of her head and her fringe falling in her eyes. She passed to booklet back to me and forced a tight and tired smile. “Welcome to Atlanta, please enjoy your stay” she said in a practiced and clipped voice. I nodded my head in acknowledgment and began the long trek towards the train which would carry me too the baggage pick up.

 

It was past the stairs and inside the carriage that I let my eyes close, and so when it lurched forward I stumbled to the side and grasped to cool metal bar. I stared indifferently as we zoomed through the tunnel and within 30 seconds we came to a standstill. The doors pushed forward before slowly sliding open and I wheeled the bag out and into the tiled exterior. The walls were a disgusting off white, nearly broadening on yellow and the floor was covered in pink gum.

 

I sidled up the stairs the bag dragging behind me and I heaved a exhausted pant, sweat beading at my hands as I took another step. The handle felt slick when I finally reached the top and I took a glance back at the stairs. It was a long climb, longer than was necessary.

 

“Sometimes we need to climb further up to reach what we truly desire” the girls voice said at the end of her speech. She looked away from her palm cards and smiled at the class which looked awe struck. Everybody was amazed by the inspirational talk and clapped. Her smile grew wider, her green eyes sparkling with bliss as she made her way to the back. This girl in Year 8 seemed to promise a bright future.

 

Four bags lay on the floor next to my feet as I sat on the cold bench and swept my eyes across the airport, searching for my aunty who was meant to be here. I rechecked my watch and cast a nervous glance towards the shadows. I half expected…

Shaking my head I stared forward and through the dirty glass, where the trees swirled leaves and the wind caressed the grass. My hand clasped around the cross and I placed my head on my right palm. The hair from my hair tie coming loose and falling around my face, the blonde strands brushing my lips gently. I blew a shallow breath out and watched it lift before falling down and into my eyes. I blinked furiously as it poked the inside of my eyeball and quickly brushed it away in annoyance.

 

“Winter!” a voice hollered and I dared a peek behind me to see a large lady barreling in my direction. Her brown hair swished around her shoulders and her blue eyes glowed with barely contained excitement. “Winter” she breathed more softly and she grabbed me in a tight embrace. I froze, my blood running cold and sweat beginning to pool around my hands. I had forgotten on how it was too be touched like this without…

 

 I forced a smile as she awkwardly hugged me, her hands wrapped around my thin frame as he bulging tummy pressed against me. “Aunty?” I said with uncertainty and she pulled back, her smile still bright as ever. She wasn’t at the least derailed from my lack of enthusiasm towards her hug.

 

“Winter it’s been so long” she gushed as she held my hands and examined my face. “You’ve turned into a true beauty”. I laughed through the lump in my throat and pulled my hands away. I hated being touched, I hated being beautiful and I hated any contact because of…

 

My aunty cast a look at the scattered bags, her eyebrows raised in question. “Winter is this all you’ve packed?” she asked in surprise. Shrugging my shoulders I put my hands in my jacket and curled my toes in the boots which encased my sock clad feet. “Well then” she said after the silence which befell us, “shall we get going?”

Before I had time to reply she had already picked up two pieces of luggage and began walking in the direction she came from. Her strides effortless and without any strain under the pressure of the bags. I shortly followed suit, one bag slung over my shoulder and the other rolling behind me, its wheels clinking on the flooring.

 

“Your cousins can’t wait to greet you” she said actively as I followed a step behind. “They are just so excited and happy you’ll be living with us….” She continued with her lively one sided dialect and I tuned out.

 

The family smiled happily as the red car pulled in front of the house. The kids bounced on the balls of their feet and the father placed a gentle hand on his children’s head. His brown eyes were smiling as he quieted them down. “Be nice to your cousins”.

 

“Here we go” my aunty said as she placed the last bag in the back and shut the back door firmly. The black jeep shining as the yellow light reflected on its surface. “Have you called your mother yet?” her voice asked as she slipped through the driver’s door and into the seat. I followed her lead and crept into the car, feeling the freshness of the leather on my palms. “Yeah” I lied easily and looked out as she reversed the car. She wouldn’t care even if I didn’t call her, her thoughts were elsewhere anywhere.

“That’s good” my aunty said as she placed the blinker on and turned into the highway. Other cars flashed past us and the buzz of the engine comforted me to some extent. I stared out the window and gave a grunt in response. I felt her eyes burning into the side of my head but I didn’t take a chance to peek. “You’re going to really like this place” she said in what I assumed was a comforting tone, “the schools nice and so are the people. Sooner or later you’re going to call this place your home”. But she was wrong. This place could never be my home.

 

I still remember leaving the house I grew up in. It seemed empty ever since the people came and took everything away. The rooms stood naked in front of me and my room felt larger without my things. I remember that I was too of a chicken to enter my brother’s room for the last time. Too see his pale grey walls and black cupboard. Too remember the painful memories.

 

The boy held the paintbrush in his hand, the grey caught on his cheeks as his 12 year old sister huffed in with another bucket of paint. His 15 year old laugh filling the space and brightening everything. “Why do you have to re-paint you room?” she asked, annoyed by the fact that her brother found her discomfort pleasing. “Because I’m a guy”.

 

Someone shook my shoulder lightly and I opened my eyes drowsily. I was met by the face of my aunty who frowned at me. “You frown when you sleep” she stated, and her eyes held an enquiry within them. I ignored her and instead took in my surroundings.

We had come to a halt in front of a white two story house with a basketball hoop attached to the side. The porch stretched around the perimeter and an American flag flew from the roof. A shingle chimed as I slowly got down, the rose bushes brushing my legs as I realized how dangerously close we were to the edge. A light flicked on inside and the wooden door opened to reveal a man dressed in loosely fitting pajamas.

He had a bulging stomach and a grey beard surrounding his weathered face. He shot us a toothy smile and sauntered to us. “Welcome dear” he said in a gruff voice as he came to stand next to his wife who had moved away from me. I caught a whiff of wood and the scent of sweat as he wrapped his arms around his wife and held her close, his black eyes staring at me.

I smiled and felt the urge to run away. To run so far away that I when I stopped I would be so far away from everything. I gave him a shy hello and an awkward hand raise.

“Well” my aunty said after a moment, “shall we go inside so you can sleep?” I nodded and was making my way to the back of the car; however my auntie’s hand latched onto my elbow. “Just grab what you need; we can bring the rest up tomorrow”. I nodded meekly in agreement, anything sounding good as my eyes threatened to close. I hadn’t gotten a wink of sleep on that cursed plane.

I grabbed the bag that I carried onto the plane and took it inside the massive house. The first thing on entering was the smell which wafted up my nose. It was a sweet lavender scent that was both homey and refreshing. The walls were painted a bold red and had African masks and picture frames located strategically around the place. I stopped when I came across a mirror which hung above an oak table holding ornaments. I looked horrible and disgusting, my hair defying gravity and my eyes hooded with weariness.

 

“I’ll show you to your room” my auntie’s voice rang out down from above. I tilted my head up slightly and saw her standing there, looking all majestic in her clothes. I forced a smile as my uncle held onto my bag, the handle clutched tightly in his calloused hands. “Thanks” I muttered as he clambered up, the steps creaking under his weight and the luggage clanking against the floor. Sweat began to bead on his forehead and he shot me a tight smile through his thin lips.

 

I followed behind him, watching my feet as it took one step forward and then another. I knew from the moment I touched down everything would be different, that nothing would be the same…

 

“It’s like going on an adventure” the boy said as he dipped his feet into the pond. “You get to try new things”.

A body flopped down next to him and dipped their feet in “what’s wrong with things being the same?” a small voice asked. Frowning the boy flicked his toes up and leaned back against the pier, the wood biting against his flimsy top. “ You’ll never get bored when things change…” he  said quietly.   

 

   “You can't stop the future

You can't rewind the past

The only way to learn the secret

...is to press play.”

― Jay Asher,

 

 

 

    

Chapter 11

Chapter 11:

I laid there on the springy bed, the blankets strewn around my body as the cool air filtered through the window and swirled around me. The early morning sounds and smells drifting towards my senses. The soft patter of the rain and the fresh smell of dew.

 

“Winter” a muffled voice called through the wooden door, the soft patting of knocks filling the tranquil room. I leaned up and stared as the silver handle turned slowly and the door opened slightly. Through the little crack I saw my aunty peering at me, a smile painted on her face and her brown hair framing her face lightly. “I’ve just come to say that I have to go to work and I’ve left some food in the microwave…”, her voice trailed off before she cleared her throat. “Fell free to do anything you want. Your cousins wanted to say ‘hi’ but they had school today so…”

 

I forced a smile through and felt it stretch across my face weightily. “Sure aunty, have a nice day” I said, my tone sounding harsher and uninviting than I thought. Her smile dimmed for a second however beamed back brighter than before, though I could see the hurt hiding within the depths of her swirling blue eyes. “Bye honey” she whispered as she shut the door softly, her footsteps fading with the other noises. I stayed still feeling the garage door vibrate the house and listened to the car pull out. After I was certain she had left I held my head in my hands, the weight of the world seemingly resting on my shoulders.

 

The girl glanced back nervously and saw the shadow flit back behind the garbage bin. The dark outline had been tailing her for a while and sweat was beginning to pool around her armpits. She picked up her pace, something bad was going to happen and she could feel it from the churning of her stomach and the cold chill surrounding her bones…

 

I got up, the muted white carpet soft under my toes as I padded silently to the snowy door. Everything in the room was painted in soft hues and had scratches running across the walls from scrapped off stickers.

There was a single queen sized bed pushed to the side with a single side table up holding a lamp which was set a glow. The room possessed a battered old table and a steel chair. In the corner sat a lone black bean bag, its material rough and shabby.

Aunty had promised the night before that we could spend time re-doing the room to my preferred style. She told me that she knew my artistic streak would come in handy and I couldn’t help but smile slightly. Drawing and any form of art was my way to escape, to express where words can’t.

 

I swung the door open and strolled down the glowing white hallway towards the stairs. And as I walked downstairs, my hands running lightly over the hand rail, I stopped suddenly before the last step and noticed for the first time the picture hanging across the wall. It was a tiny one and wasn’t a major standout amongst the other enlarged ones but it made my breath catch.

 

Her floral yellow dress flowed down past her knees as she held her bulging stomach, a smile plastered on her face. The man standing next to her grinned down when she complained light hardly about the effects of being pregnant. The two year old boy stared seriously at his mother, his blonde locks falling into his glowing brown eyes as he made gurgling noises and petted her hand.

 

Brushing my finger lightly over the women with the yellow dress, the grinning man and the young boy, I stared at the picture of my family before I was born. How happy they seemed. Was it because I was born that…

 

I heard a ‘meow’ and turned swiftly away from the photograph towards the noise, my heart lodged into my throat…

 

The girl screamed when she felt a hand clamp down upon her shoulder. The thought of the mysterious shadow tailing her plaguing her mind. She dared a quick look to the side when she heard something fall and saw a cat flit past…   

 

The cat’s eyes stared unwavering at me, its green eyes studying me and its black fur absorbing the faint light from outside. I took a quick intake of breath as it meowed again and sauntered down to me, its head held high and its back side swinging to a rhythm I couldn’t hear. It came to a stop underneath my legs and let out a purr which slithered through the house and bounced of the walls. It raised its head angrily and stared at me through frustrated eyes as it pushed more firmly against my legs, its fur sliding up my bare skin.

 

My hand slightly touched it, feeling the silk like fur run through my hands. It seemed to smirk before it pushed away and ambled away and into the kitchen, disappearing from my sight as it turned a corner.

 I followed hastily behind it, though when I came to stand in the open kitchen it was nowhere to be seen. It was as if it had vanished mysteriously. I called out to it but not a peep of a noise followed my empty pleas.

 

“Please” she begged through tears.

 

I wiped my face tiredly and considered the thought of eating…

 

“You should stop eating you stupid child” the father yelled as he hit the cowering girl, her blonde hair falling messily in her face. “You want to be fat?” his voice rang out…

 

I pursed my lips before exiting the granite and steel kitchen, making my way towards the spaced out living room. The TV sat pushed up against the wall flagged by two towering speakers and a Blue-ray DVD player. The black couches lay pointed towards the screen with a table sitting in the middle. On it laid the remote neatly placed, aligned next to some fashion and sports magazines. The surface showing faces of models posing and pouting, their red lips puckered up and their hands lying on their hips which jutted out. I frowned as I crossed to the magazine and flopped down into the freezing unfeeling couch. Flipping through I caught aimless stories about who cheated who, and how to keep warm this winter in the most fashionable way. The cool paper sliding through my hands and carelessly grazing my knees.

 

“Magazines are way better than reading the newspaper. There like the way of life…” the voice said as she placed the nail polish down and flopped down onto her stomach. “Hmm” her brother said as he raised eyebrows towards the rubbish produced. “All these facts are wrong though” he stated. Shrugging she studied the pale pearl color and blew on them carefully.

 

   “Giving of any kind... taking an action... begins the process of change, and moves us to remember that we are part of a much greater universe. ” ― Mbali Creazzo

 

 

 

 

Chapter 12

I think the day I met him was a Tuesday. He was waiting patiently for Jack and Steven, my cousins I had met earlier that week. He was standing in the hall with his back towards me as stared long and hard at a picture. The picture of my family. I wondered what he thought, what he was thinking as he brushed his fingers against the frame.

I stood on top of the staircase, watching him silently and too afraid to call out. Then Steven came. He sauntered in with a grin so wide and vast that it crinkled his eyes and formed wrinkles around them.

 

“Hey Zach” he said as he high fived him.

Zach, what a suitable name.

Black hair and dark blue eyes with a thin long face. Long and lean body structure with strong and big hands. Who was Zach, what was he like, what did he like? These thoughts went around my head. He had this aura to him. A captivating one that dragged you in, almost like my brothers but not quite.

 

I wanted him to look up, to focus his eyes on me and see me.

 

“Look up” I whispered and it was as if he heard me because he looked up at that moment. He looked and stared hard, his eyes drilling through me, finding my secrets and destroying my walls.

Then he smiled, a soft gentle smile that welled something inside me. The moment was broken though when Steven began to talk.

“Ah, Winter!” he said surprised. No doubt since I rarely ventured outside when they were home. He probably thought that I was a loser with no life.

 

“Steven” I said politely as I focused on descending the stairs. Usually I would have nodded meekly and escaped into the confines of the four walled room, but not today. Today I felt compelled to go down, and compelled to talk to them. Was if Zach’s doing?

 

“Wow, never thought you’ll even come out” Steven said as I stood a few feet away. I too was surprised but I kept my mask on, the mask that cannot be ripped.

 

“Yes, I’m just getting a glass of water” I said, which was a very quick cover up since I wasn’t even that thirsty.

“Of course, why else would you come down if it weren’t to eat and drink” Steven said laughing and giggling. He was right yet again and I felt embarrassed. What did Zach think of me? Did he think I was weird? Something about him thinking I was weird really tore at me, which was odd since I didn’t even know him.

 

“Well, Zach, let’s go yeah” Steven said as he pocketed his car keys.

“Where going to be late for the club meeting and Eve’s going to have our heads on a platter for lunch come Wednesday”.

 

“You mean your head. You’re her boyfriend and I’m not” he said and Winter was warmed by his comforting voice. It sounded very strong, manly and powerful. She felt protected hearing it, which was odd as well. I don’t know him, she thought to himself as she watched them both leave.

 

“There’s at least one person destined for me right?” the girl asked and the boy looked at her grinning.

“Sure, sure. Except I’ll feel sorry for him to end up with you” he said while chuckling and the girl whacked him upside the head.

“Hey that’s mean!”

“It’s true though” and the girl glared at him with all her fury as he mocked her.

 

I believe that two people are connected at the heart, and it doesn't matter what you do, or who you are or where you live; there are no boundaries or barriers if two people are destined to be together.

-Julia Roberts

 

 

 

 

 

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Tag der Veröffentlichung: 07.05.2013

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