We All Rot

The gun didn’t shake in her hand. She didn’t fear death. She understood it was only a thing that everyone had to do at one time or another. Her head made perfect sense out of death. It bothered her that supposed great men had wondered about it for the duration of their lives. She had never cried when someone had died, even those extremely close to her. In a way she envied them. They knew for certain what was going to happen after you died.

She didn’t know fear anymore. She had learned at a very young age that the worst thing that could possible happen to any person is to die. Some people said there was worse things then death but she knew the truth. Nothing in this world was everlasting including pain. The reality is that everyone was going to do it. She however would prefer to know how, why, when, where, and most importantly with who.

She was perfectly clam and in control of her emotions. The young man in the chair opposite on the other hand was more than a little shaken up. They had been dating for two years. It was her birthday and he had taken her out to dinner, and back to her place. She had turned 28; she was five years older than him. She loved dating him. He had been picket out at a bar by her best friend. At first he was just someone to use as a way to pass time, but she had become found of his little nerves traits and characteristics.

He was a boyish handsome, he looked very young, and he was very impressionable. His dark brown hair framed his soft features. His pale lips trembled violently and his hands shook in his lap. His eyes were red and watering. She was curtain he would start crying any second now. She knew what he must be thinking, that she was crazy.

“You think I’m insane right? In your mind you’re blaming me. But is it really my fault that we’re about to die.” She said softly as if talking to a child. “It’s kind of funny, because in a way I blame you. You’re so full of kindness, so easy to abuse.” She said shaken her head, a faint smile on her lips as she thought about the good memoirs of their past time together.

He swallowed and tried to control his shaking enough to talk. After a moment of silence he was able to get comprehendible words out of his mouth. “That isn’t true. I think you have just been a little stressed lately. We can get you some help and everything will go back to the way it was.”

She laughed. He had said things she had expected. “’We’.” She quoted. “’Back to the way it was’. Meant before we ever meet right? You don’t think I am stupid enough to believe that you would still love someone who threatened to kill you, do you?” she said stepping across the short space between them. She slides down into his open lap. As she did so she pressed the end of the gun against his chest. Taking in a breath she was overcome with his all too familiar smell.

He looked down at her. He didn’t answer. Instead he just looked at the gun. His eyes stayed focused on it even when he spoke. “Why are you doing this?” She laughed softly, head pressed into his shoulder.

“Honestly? It’s because I like you. Why are you afraid? Is fear knocking at your heart?” She said placing her free hand over his heart, she felt it frantically beating.

“No.” He said. She was surprised. He seemed to be telling her the truth his face was clear and truthful. But still she doubted him.

“Oh fine, I am doing this because I want to. Curiosity is burning me away. Besides what’s better than dying with the person you love. Plus why wait until you’re old and tired. I’m ready now.” With every word new excitement rushed through her voice, pushing energy through her entire being. She was too excite to sit any longer and jumped off his lap. Walking over to her dresser, she pulled it open and lifted out another gun.

Walking back to him she sat in the other chair. She placed the gun on the table next to them. “Here is how it is going to work. You are going to get the choice. You can either shoot yourself in which case I will in turn kill myself as well. Or you can shoot me and leave. If you don’t want to do either then I will shoot us both. No matter what I will get what I wanted. Understand?” She said pushing the gun towards him. He caught it before it slide on the floor.

He held it in both of his hands, looking at it intently as if searching for an alternate solution. He finally looked up at her, and as their eyes meet he spoke “May I ask you a question?”

She was curious what he must be thinking right at this moment anyways. “Sure I’m about to die, I think I can manage to answer a question.” She said with a small laugh.

“You’re scared of getting old, aren’t you?” She stiffened. She didn’t think that was what he was going to ask. Her chest tightened. She closed her eyes.

She opened her eyes and sighed. “I’m not sure. I could be. I just don’t want to watch my body get old and die. I can’t stand to think of my body rotting away will my mind still lingers in it; to see my youth taken away. Is that all?” She was having fun, until now. She never knew that dying could be so tiresome.

“No, did you ever really love me?” He wasn’t shaking anymore. His eyes had cleared and his voice had steadied itself. She couldn’t figure out what he was thinking. She was worried he was going to turn this into 20 questions.

She looked at him seriously. She wasn’t sure what to say. Finally she opened her mouth. “Of course, would I ask you to do this with me otherwise? This is my eternity. I want to spend it with you.”

As soon as she had shut her mouth, he had fired his gun. She jumped. She looked at him I n the eyes. “Darling!” She cried. A scream almost escaped from her throat. She rushed over to where he lay sinking into the chair. “I didn’t want a lover!” She screamed, the words darting across her lips. He was shaking again. She pressed her hands to his face. She kissed his lips, and then pressed her check to his. “But I found out, I love you.” She quietly whispered into his ear.

His blood poured out of his chest and spilled over her and onto the floor. She felt the liquid running down her arm. A moment of fear rushed through her as he his breath stopped. And as she lay there clinging to his lifeless body a tear trickled down her check. She felt it slowly come to her chin and drop off her face. Grabbing her gun tightly, she fought back her fear and doubt. Pressing it to her temple, her lips trembled. “I’m so sorry.” She managed to declare before she pulled the trigger on her own gun.

Impressum

Tag der Veröffentlichung: 04.08.2011

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To Chris. Life sucks doesn't it? "I simple take and abuse, Pick anybody to use."