The Day You Went Away
Throughout the storm and the endless rain
Throughout the tears and eternal pain
The memory returns time and again
Of the day you went away.
The garden you planted has turned to weeds
I couldn’t attend to its constant needs
My spirit is broken and my heart still bleeds
Since the day you went away
The house that we shared is in disrepair
I’m ashamed to say that I no longer care
For it’s just not a home without you there
Now that you’ve gone away
I walk through the park where we used to go
And I sit by the lake where we used to throw
bread to the ducks, and I miss you so
Since the day you went away
You come to me each night in my dreams
You say you forgive me but to me it seems
That my self respect I can never redeem
Since I caused you to go away
My world is now just a black hole in space
But deep in my mind there's a secret place
Where we meet each day and we kiss and embrace
And together, we drift away.
You Don't Know Me
You don’t know where I go
in the night when you’re asleep
when the darkness imprisons my mind
when demons bind me in remorse
and exhume long-buried memories
that return to taunt and haunt me
and leave me silently weeping
You don’t know what I hear
when the voice in my head suggests
what I’m doing is somehow wrong
yet that same voice commands me
to do it, and to conceal it
to hide it from the judgmental eyes
of a non-understanding world
You don’t know what I do alone
in my private house, with curtains drawn
where the mask of conformity is discarded
where inhibitions are a thing unknown
where the outside world is cast aside
where I alone rule my kingdom
and cast out intruders, including you
You don’t know what I feel
when my eyes gaze down upon you
as you undulate and moan
from my sensual loving touch
and you call my name in ecstasy
and you take the love i offer you
though the love is never returned
You don’t know my sadness
when you turn and look away
when you refuse to even answer
my obvious cries for help
or my pleas for understanding
and as a final dagger to the heart
you pretend not to hear at all
You don’t know my emptiness
when you eye me with indifference
and you see what you want to see
and I feel like nothing more
than your constant work in progress
as something you want to change
to suit your personal needs
You don’t know my regrets
of the life that I have wasted
of chances I should have taken
of words I should have spoken
of dreams I couldn’t share
because i failed to find someone
who seeks the same as me
You don’t know my mind
when I gaze at the endless skies
at the infinite stars and galaxies
when I wonder at time eternal
when I wonder where I came from
when I wonder where I’m going
or if nothing lies beyond
You don’t know me at all.
If Only
If only I had known before
If only I had seen
The consequences coming
From my actions so obscene
If only I was noble
And my soul divine and pure
Instead of being the disease
I could have been the cure
If only I had told my friends
The words I should have shared
To tell them they're important
To let them know I cared
If only I had shown my love
To those who craved for it
To those who gave their love to me
Though my heart seemed cold and desolate
If only my words were compliments
And not a loaded gun
My friends would not have turned away
Would not have cut and run
If only I had made my bed
Before I laid down to die
I wouldn't be fearing eternity
As I head toward the sky
Evolution of Love
Across the bar,
Through smoky haze
Your eyes entice,
Your looks amaze
I'm interested
I watch you dance,
I hear you sing
Karaoke's
Just your thing
You sing to me
I say 'hi'
'Steve's the name
I chat you up
I'm on my game
I want you bad
We share a drink
We share your bed
I should have left
But stayed instead
You made me breakfast
Every night
Every day
Need you with me
Wish you'd stay
You own my heart
My mind is set
The die is cast
I offer you
a love that lasts
Marry me
You come to Vegas
Become my bride
Married by Elvis
Crazy ride
Make love all night
Give you a home
Lavish surrounds
My love for you
Knows no bounds
Happy ever after
Work two jobs
To make ends meet
You watch TV
All day and eat
WTF?
We go to bed
I kiss your cheek
Filthy hair
Your breath reeks
Where's my wife?
Eat so much
Your arse has grown
Cellulite legs
You constantly moan
Give me some peace
You dont clean
You dont cook
I ask for sex
You read a book
Hand and lube
I come home early
Dont mean to be rude
But why you in bed
With some random dude
Who isn't me
I kick his arse
Kick yours too
Get the fuck out
Both of you
Yeh, fuck you too
I throw your shit
Out the door
Good luck i say
Ugly whore
Take your fat arse with you
"Thanks for nothing"
You curse and sneer
I say "you're welcome
Anywhere but here"
Bitch...
Different Worlds
In your world your sky is blue
Your summer hot, your winter bitter
Last Saturday you slept in
This morning you missed breakfast
In your world is your friend, Kate
Italian food’s your favourite
Your mother stayed with you all week
She’d argued with your father
In your world your daughter blossoms
You cried last month, when she started school
Your husband got promoted at work
A certified accountant
In your world are holidays
Camping trips and private beaches
Your brother married last July
He swore he never would
You've planned your daughter’s birthday party
Last night you watched a movie
Romantic comedy, you laughed and cried
I know all this; you told me.
-----------------------------------
In my world I smell your scent
I feel your hands upon my skin
You bathe me daily; change my clothes
Your voice is calm and soothing
In my world I know your name.
Itself a comfort; so serene
I know your goodness, your pure heart
I know your beauty, though sight unseen
In my world I have no limbs
Or perhaps I do, I cannot tell
The only one that I can feel
Rises when you bathe me
If you knew of my awareness
Perhaps you would continue
It evokes in me a distant memory
A sense of hope, an unseen tear.
In my world are tubes and wires
A rythmic beeping of machines
Vague, incessant, distant voices
My food flows from a hanging bag
In my world my silent screams
Go unanswered, go unheard
My words imprisoned in my mind
My pleas for death just wasted thoughts
In my world I hear you sing
Happy birthday, happy birthday
And for you to hear my birthday wish
Would be the wish come true.
My darkened world has no view
There is only me, and only you
In my world I love you
And in my dreams you love me too
A Light Ahead
A long firm push
A light ahead
Free at last
Placenta is shed
Umbilical is cut
A mother’s caress
Warm loving hands
guide me to breast
Two candles on a cake
I stand erect
I communicate
My mother protects
Loving kisses
Toys abound
Wondrous new world
is all around
I run with my friends
I graze my knee
I run pretty fast
For a boy of three
First day of school
A flood of tears
Mainly from Mum
From me, only cheers
A new bike for Christmas
I ride it to school
My favourite colour red
I’m looking so cool
I turn fifteen
And pimples appear
I hang out with friends
and taste my first beer
Hopelessly in love
with my classmate Prue
I ask my friend to ask her
if she likes me too
Seventeen years
A belated first kiss
Awkward fumbles
But sexual bliss
Turn twenty one
Key to the door
Parties and women
Couldn't ask for more
Twenty six years
Married for four
A loving wife
I cant help but adore
Second child born
A girl this time
So humble and grateful
For this life sublime
Promotion at work
A raise as well
More work to do
More cars to sell
Family vacations
Camping away
Loving and laughing
Come what may
All too soon
A mother and wife
Discovers the lump
That would soon take her life
Our tears are shed
Final memories are made
The last rites read
And her body is laid
Ashes to ashes
Dust to dust
Life goes on
For go on it must
Graduation day
A father’s face beams
A son comes of age
His head filled with dreams
A daughter finds love
Her wedding day looms
The house is soon silent
Now dark empty rooms
A lover long gone
Just a face in a frame
And memories of her voice
Whispering my name
Long lonely nights
Cold empty days
A seat by her grave
In the sun’s warm rays
Years fly by
And time's running out
And still no clue
What this life's all about
A new song begun
But I fail to dance
To the new tune of life
And miss my chance
Seventy years old
By today’s standards, young
Yet the show’s almost over
The song's almost sung
My Summer’s been lived
My Autumn long gone
My Winter’s now here
And Great Grandchild born
Walking stick needed
Eyes barely see
Stroke slurs my speech
Arthritis takes my knees
A hospital bed
Faint voices are heard
I give them my love
With my final words
A daughter's last kiss
And her soft caress
A son holds my hand
A dying man blessed
A long dark tunnel
A light ahead
A new world awaits
My earthly ties shed
She
Before I met her, I had nothing
Now I have even less.
What I ever saw in her
I can never even guess
She stole my pride, destroyed my soul
And dignity during the course
She even took my testicles
Hers in the divorce
Her face could launch a thousand ships
But so could Adolph Hitler.
Why'd it take me so many years
To finally wake up and ditch her
Bitch....
Internet Connection
She appeared in my inbox late one night
A private message on Bookrix' site.
She loved my books, she craved my mind
She told me i was one of a kind
Who was this girl? I needed to know
Her personality, her highs and her lows
She shared with me her mind and soul
And once, through my own fault, vitriol
But she always speaks in lower case
And always in ‘Times New Roman’
She always cuts right to the chase
A mysterious, sensual woman
She says she wants to ‘learn my rhythms’
I don’t know what that means
But I share with her as best I can
My thoughts through this machine
Through the wires and atmosphere
They bounce off satellites
The heartfelt words we write and share
The countless megabytes
Two souls entwined, two minds alike
Though our ages are far between
But minds don’t age, they just engage
We communicate, unseen
Her face remains a mystery
Her voice I’ll never hear
But that’s the way it has to be
Or the magic will disappear
The Cryptic Verse. (An ode to the flowery works that are beyond my understanding.)
The envious moon shone down upon my flaxon hair
Which way does the crafty wind blow?
I snatch a grasshopper from the bullet's chosen path
Am I not the keeper of my brother's empty womb?
The sea gives up its deadly secrets
The seven sins of Man
But when all is said and done
I love a sunburnt land
If anyone knows what this means, please contact the writer at this address.
Thanks
The Prisoner
I stare blankly and numbly through the bars of my cell at the world outside. I feel as if the view is being dangled in front of my eyes as some kind of mental torture.
I see in the distance a beautiful park. Green lawns, shady trees. The free world, where others are free to come and go as they please, to live their lives, find a partner, have children. But this is my life now. My reality.
Each day they come to my cell and interrogate me in a language foreign to me.
“Are you ready to talk yet?”
What are they trying to tell me?
What do they want from me?
They badger me day after day, repeating themselves constantly in words I don't understand, as I cower in the corner.
I’m hungry and thirsty. What i would give to taste the sweetness of a piece of fruit that I once took for granted.
I hear them coming. The sound of their footsteps evokes in me an unlikely mixture of excitement, fear and dread.
My life's necessities are pushed through a gap in the wall. I look in the bowls.
Same as always.
Water and sunflower seeds.
Mushroom Soup
Excitedly with torch in hand
We scour through the farmer’s land
Curious cows walk among us
As we search for magic golden fungus
Ten PM, the night’s still young
We check the many mounds of dung
Mushrooms large with gold on top
Everywhere, a magical crop
We race back home with bags of dreams
Two boys, two girls; excited teens
Fleeting fears go undeclared
For the experience that lies ahead
Bubble, bubble, trouble and toil
We watch the shrooms begin to boil
The water turns mysterious and dark
As we await our trip on Noah’s ark
We gather round and fill our cup
Drink it down and almost throw up
Primed at last we sit and wait
For time and space to oscillate
An eerie silence fills the room
We wait for the hit, the high, the boom
Before I can even comprehend
My mind floats skyward, reality bends
A blast of Metallica and we enter the zone
‘Sad But True’, ‘Wherever I May Roam’
The black light ignites the black light poster
And we board the illusory rollercoaster
The walls come alive and pulse with the beat
My body is freezing in the summer heat
I try to speak but my words just flow
From my mouth like lava from a volcano
I check out Melanie, she looks so nice
With three bare breasts and lust in her eyes
She floats and dances with erotic grace
Her hand inside her panties of lace
‘Look at the stars’ I hear Jack say
‘It looks just like the Milky Way’
I look above but all I see
Is my own eyes staring back at me
Melanie and Chloe, naked and free
Their inhibitions a casualty
Jack and I join the fray
The four of us, naked, dance and sway
The rhythm commands us to move and thrust
To chant the words, and obey we must
We raise our hands to touch the sky
To grab the stars meandering by
Guitar solo screams in my ear
Bass riff distorts the atmosphere
Our minds enslaved by the driving beat
Our bodies drenched in the stifling heat
Liquid rainbow floods the room
Chloe’s hair becomes flowers in bloom
Her eyes the size of dinner plates
As she beckons me to Nirvana’s gates
Chloe backs against the wall
She offers me Heaven, I trade her my soul
Razor fingernails claw at my chest
Her ankles locked, her love confessed
Fireworks suddenly flood my vision
Planets explode in blinding fission
My mind and Chloe’s are somehow one
Our ascent to Heaven has now begun
A sudden gush, a molten stream
Chloe emits a climactic scream
Overwhelmed in passion’s throes
With my liquid love she overflows
We lie on the floor and scan the skies
The heavens seen through kaleidoscope eyes
Gasps from Jack and Melanie
Their door unlocked with Eros’ key
Chloe and I are swept away
On a cosmic sea; the Milky Way
Through a wormhole to a new dimension
Where lies the answers to all life’s questions
The colours soon fade to monochrome
The time has come for the journey home
The room now silent, the stars now gone
We lie in wait for a brand new dawn.
Impressum
Tag der Veröffentlichung: 11.02.2021
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