David's Admission

 

"It doesn't matter!" I yelled. Sophia's lip quivered a little. I immediately felt terrible, but it was too late. Besides, she probably didn't want to hear it. She mumbled something under her breath.

 

"Speak up," I said.

 

"You're right, this whole fight doesn't matter, because it's not a big deal."

 

"Yes it is!"

 

"Tobias, I can't believe you're this jealous. Billy's in jail anyway, I called a restraining order on Kalonice, and Chris and I are just friends."

 

"I don't want you around him. He's too flirtatious." I snapped.

 

"You can't tell me who to be friends with. I didn't tell you to stop being my sister's best friend. She didn't tell you not to date me. In fact, she made you sound better than you are!"

 

"What's that supposed to mean?"

 

"You're jealous, Tobias. You don't lie or cheat, and you don't hurt me, but you're jealous and you're trying to be controlling." I couldn't believe this. All I did was tell her to stop hanging out with some of her guy friends. How did this fight happen.

 

"Maybe we should break up!" I shouted.

 

"Is that what you want?"

 

"Yes."

 

"Good. Maybe it's for the best anyway." She turned on her heel and walked the two blocks to hers and Nina's house.

 

I stood there, feeling like she'd punched me in the gut. And it was several months after we'd gotten together. We'd gotten together as a couple in October and it was late April. I'd grown up a lot since. I'd gotten more confidence. I weighed over two hundred pounds, I still do, but I was two forty five, now I'm two fifteen.
I felt I should run after Sophia Martinez, tell her I loved her, she was my world, my being. I walked the few houses down to my house. Mansion, actually. My family's pretty well-to-do. So's hers. My mother is a lawyer, a famous one at that. Anne Grass. My father lost his job as a professor at the local college. The reason being is he had an affair with his boss's wife.

 

I know-heartbreaking. Ripped my mother apart when she found out. On top of it, he started drinking heavily and abused all of us. Now he's in rehab. Joseph Grass in rehab. Hmm. My brother took it better than the rest of us. Dad abused him the most. Tony pretty much hates our father. He's a grade and a year older than me. I'm fifteen and a freshman-he's sixteen and a sophomore. We both look and sound more mature than we actually are. We both have blonde hair and greyish brown eyes.We're both sort of odd.

 

Me, I'm the A-getting guy with a mature mindset. My mind doesn't necessarily think like a computer, but I'm more mature than most guys my age. Tony's a typical sixteen year old. He drives an awesome Mustang now. He used to have a truck, but it was hideous and ran like crap. He has a super hot girlfriend whom he is wild bonkers in love with. Her name is Keisha and she's his longest relationship. He used to be a real player, then he met Spring.

 

Spring Garcia was a pretty Hispanic girl who appeared to be really sweet. But she broke his heart when she found out he'd screwed over a good friend of hers. Besides, she turned out to be a pyscho. She enjoyed starting catfights and stalked Tony until he told the local authorities.

 

Want to know what's worse? We recently found out Spring Garcia is Sophia and Nina Martinez's cousin. Now we're in real trouble. And as I laid in my bed listening to a classical music song called "Secret Garden" on YouTube, I wondered if the fight was my fault. Maybe I did try to control her. My mother stood in the doorway, leaning on the frame.

 

"It's rude to lurk in doorways, " I muttered.

 

"Something's bothering you." Mom said, sitting on my bed.

 

"Sophia and I had a fight and broke up."

 

"I'm sorry."

 

"I think it was my fault. I told her to stop hanging around certain guys."

 

"Hmm. Do these guys make you nervous?"

 

"Very."

 

"Well, I don't know much about Sophia, but I know Nina. I know they're fraternal, but they're still twin sisters. I know Nina would never be unfaithful to Michael, and Sophia seems to be a lot like her. It stinks that she had to go through so much pain and heartbreak. I wasn't as strong as her as a teen.

 

"She's been through a lot. And you two seemed perfect. I'm not scolding you, son. I'm just saying a little jealousy's healthy, but a lot is not, especially if you're telling her to stop hanging out with certain boys."

 

"Guys." I corrected.

 

"Of course. Well, I'll leave you alone."

I knew she was right. I could feel nausea slowly working its way up. I knew I had to talk to Sophia. So I walked the two blocks to her house.

 

"Sophia just left." Nina explained.

 

"Oh."

 

"Come in."

 

"Okay."

 

Immediately, her new cat Marilyn rubbed on my leg. Of course she has another cat named Calvin. They'd also gotten a Chihuahua they named Hobbes, after the comic character.

 

Hobbes sniffed my hand while Nina went to her room to get something. I could tell he smelled Girlfriend, my Shetland/Pomeranian/collie mix, and Jazz, Mom and Tony's Queensland heeler. Nina came down, carrying a box. There was a pistol, a diamond necklace, a jade earring, and a mens wedding ring. Jewelry and a gun.

 

"What are these?" I asked, taking the box.

 

"Sophia wanted to give these to you. Kalonice gave her the gun before they broke up for good. This diamond necklace was something Billy gave her. The earring she found in an antique store. It didn't have a match with it. The ring was our great grandfather's before he passed on. Our parents entrusted her with it because neither Kevin or I want it. But she took it without hesitation. She loves you, Tobias. "

 

I felt tears welling up in my eyes. Here I was being a jerk to her, and she was about to do something nice for me.

 

"Keep it. I don't deserve it." I said. Nina looked confused. I told her about my fight with Sophia. "Oh." she said.

____________________________________________________________________________________________

 

I went home feeling crappier than before. I missed Sophia. I noticed some stuff on the table when I got home. There was Li-Lac, an expensive dark chocolate, eleven red roses, which mean "I'm sorry for what I did, I love you" and some balloons. There was also some wrapping paper and a box. It took me a minute to realize it was a pedicure set. Kind of personal, but this was for my girlfriend and Mom meant well. I knew it was her because I told her and she'd written a card.

 

It said "I'm so sorry about our fight. I care about you too much to let this get in our way. Please forgive me." How sweet. I also saw an amethyst necklace. That's Sophia's birthstone, and one of her favorite jewels. It's supposed to make the wearer more amiable and promotes love. It represents spiritually and contentment. Sophia was born a exactly a minute before Valentine's Day, February 13th.

 

I played with the thought of going back right away. But I didn't know when she'd be back. Better to return later. Besides, she was probably still furious with me. I imagined the way her long brown hair falls over her shoulders when she wears tank tops. The way her eyes rival the stars in the night sky. She has naturally tanned skin that glows like the Sun. Nina is a bit paler than her, but you have to remember they're fraternal.

I saw Tony. He was smiling like a jackass and his hair was messed up."Keisha here?" I said.

 

"No. Just took a nap. Brother, I found out that we're ten percent Jewish, five percent Atheist, and another ten percent Pagan/Wiccan. The rest is Christian."

 

"That's nice." I said. I really didn't care that much, although it was an interesting fact.

 

"How do you know?" I said.

 

"Went on to Ancestry.com Our family history is whacked. Did you know our great grandfather owned a casino in Las Vegas?"

 

"Which one?"

 

"Dad's grandfather. Mom's great grandfather got accused of murdering a girl's fiance."

 

"Oh. How is the girl significant? He could've been anyone's boyfriend." As soon as I said 'boyfriend', my stomach tightened.

 

"Fiance. She was related to Queen Victoria. Some really distant relative."

"Oh." These were our typical conversations. Stuff that was interesting, but at least one of us was having a bad day most of the time. I was the one with a bad day now.

I spent pretty much the whole day laying in bed or showering. I take extremely long showers when I'm depressed. I also repeated The Word Alive's song 'Heartless'. Yes, I like metal. Maybe more than rock. Metal, screamo, rock, punk. My favorite types of music, in that order.

If I called Sophia...no, I had to talk to her in person. No matter how nervous I was. At about 5:00, I set out to her house again. I knocked on the door. Kevin, her and Nina's older brother, answered. He stepped back. There she was, reading her favorite magazine, Seventeen.

 

"Meet me upstairs in five minutes." she said.

So I watched CSI with Kevin for five minutes. I went upstairs and found her in her pink director's chair. She has an ambition to do something in film, like me. Or design clothes.

 

"I'm sorry."I said. "The fight was my fault." She kissed me. I could tell she wanted to do it, but I didn't want to, and she knew it. She smelled like fresh musk. One of my favorite scents.

My stomach twisted as she licked my neck. "Sophia, stop."

 

"What? You don't care about me?" I lost control then.

 

"Slut!" Then I started to walk away. I turned around for a second, and she was sobbing.

 

I left, knowing I'd lost a girlfriend and possibly my best friend. I went home. I ignored my dinner plate and everyone's stares. I ignored Girlfriend, who jumped up on my leg and tried to get me to pet her. I ignored Jazz, who was giving me his adorable Give me a treat?  look.

 

I went into my room, shut the door, laid down on my bed, and sobbed. I got it all out. I remembered that tomorrow was Sunday, so I didn't worry about staying up late. I loved high school more than middle school, but I wasn't in a good mood.

I woke up to the sound of my phone ringing. It was "Miss Independent" by Kelly Clarkson. A.k.a Nina.

 

"Hello?" I muttered.

 

"Tobias! Listen you need to sit down before I tell you."

 

"What happened?" I said, sitting up suddenly.

 

"It's about Sophia. She's been shot."

 

"WHAT!"

 

"I don't know the full story, but she's been shot in the thigh. She's out cold as far as I know, and she's being transported to St. Mission."

 

"I'll be there!"

 

I grabbed my jacket and wallet.

 

"Tobias. what's wrong?" my mother asked.

 

"Sophia's been shot, and she's at St. Mission."

 

"Oh my God, get in my car!" Mom is particularly fond of Sophia and Nina. She calls them "sweet and intelligent young women". Which they are. Nina would give a terrorist roses if his or her loved one died, and Sophia is the smartest girl I've ever known.

Now she'd been shot, and I wasn't there. I should have been there. I could have lost her. She was in ICU, and I couldn't see her yet. Apparently the bullet hit a major vein. I sat there for a few hours, tapping my foot and contemplating whether to burst into that room.

 

Finally, after three hours, I could see her. I was starving. Mom had tried to get me to eat, but I couldn't. My stomach churned with anticipation and hunger. Was she okay? Did she even want to see me? She did.She smiled as I entered the room.

 

"I'm so sorry," I said, hugging her the best I could. She was mine. Mine. We kissed. It was bliss, touching her lips with mine again.

 

"Tell me what happened." I said.

 

"I didn't even see the shooter. I had my back turned." she said. "I overheard Nina say they were driving a black car with the windows tinted. She got the license number and Mom recently installed security cameras."

 

It felt better knowing whoever did it would be caught. I'd bet it was Kalonice. Son of a bitch. At least she was safe in my arms. I kissed her again. I knew everything would be all right. I loved her.

 

"You are beautiful. I love you." I said.

 

"You are gorgeous. I love you, too." she said.

 

We hugged and kissed for ten minutes. Then Mom came in to tell me it was time to go. Sophia needed food and rest. We kissed again and I left with reluctance.

 

"Well, as soon as I drop you off, I need to leave for an appointment." Being a lawyer, Mom was usually busy.
I was scared to death. I was scared for Sophia. I had a massive headache and I was starving, but I couldn't eat. My stomach hurt too much. Tony was watching TV in his boxers.

 

"Nina called me. She okay?"

 

"Yeah."

 

"Nina there yet?"

 

"Not that I know of." "Oh."

 

I knew Tony liked Nina. But she was my best friend. Him being my brother, dating my best friend while I was dating her sister...it would be awkward. Besides, he had a hot girlfriend. Keisha.

I read a book Sophia had gotten me into. It was called It. It was an incredible book. It was about a girl. Duh. It was about a girl who wanted to be popular so much she switched bodies with the most popular girl in the school.
I was on the part where Jane put makeup on her/Ashley's face for the first time in her life. Her parents bought her makeup and she bought makeup, she'd just never worn any. Personally, I sort of like it when a girl switches up her makeup. It shows me she's brave and creative and bold. Like Sophia, who adores makeup.

 

I heard a shout and my father cursing. Uh-oh, did he relapse? I grabbed a wooden bat, which I've needed to use before for self-defense, and I went downstairs. But my father wasn't angry at Tony or Mom. He was yelling at a guy I'd never seen before. "Tobias, give me that bat." he said. I obeyed and he shook it at the man.

 

"You say one more thing about either of my boys and I'll see you in court!" he shouted.

 

"Joseph, you've got a pig of a boy, and the other one's likely to end up in jail for soliciting prostitution and attempted murder!" the guy shouted. Dad went after his truck with the bat in hand.
The guy drove away.

 

"What the hell?" I muttered under my breath.

 

"An old enemy of mine." Dad said, giving back the bat.

 

"Oh God, my back." Did I mention my father is fifty six years old? We didn't know until last October.

 

"I'm too old for this." he muttered. I sat down and out my head against his shoulder.

 

"Tobias, you are the most affectionate teenage boy ever." my father said, ruffling my blond hair. I get it from him. I stretched back and let my body relax. Girlfriend jumped onto my lap and I started petting her.

 

"Son?"

 

"Dad?"

 

"Nothing." I could tell something was on his mind, though. He usually said that when he wasn't sure he wanted to tell me something. I could feel his heart beating faster.

 

"Daddy, what's wrong?"

 

"Tobias...Tony's...been...arrested."

 

"What?" "Your brother's been arrested. Why, we don't know. Your mother's over there trying to sort it out." I leaned back against him and let out a calm breath. Dad kissed the top of my head.

 

"Dad?"

 

"What, honey?"

 

"Nothing." His stomach felt soft against my cheek. He's a pretty big guy, he's been secretly dieting for years. My father leaned forward a bit, trying to listen to something. Then I heard it too. Someone was trying to break into the house.


"Tobias, take the bat." Dad grabbed a pistol from a drawer in an antique cabinet that was a family heirloom. I followed him to a guest room close to mine. "Stay here, son." I knew he was trying to protect me, his youngest son, but I also knew he wouldn't be able to move fast enough if whoever it was got to him.
I stood as close as he would let me. He slowly opened the cherry wood door. "Oh, God." I heard Dad say. He went inside, and I saw a bleeding figure on the carpet.

 

"Tobias, wait, don't go in there." Dad said. But it was too late. I saw who it was. My future wife, the mother of my future children. Sophia.

 

I screamed for about a minute. Then I fainted. Next thing I knew, I was in a bed beside her. Sophia. Her arm had been shot by the same assholes. I wanted to touch her, but I was afraid to wake her. I noticed Dad readjusting my blankets on the bed.

 

"She'll be all right." he said. "The police are looking for her attempted killers." The word shot through my heart like a bullet. Oh God...why did I say that? "Tobias, you need some sleep. Are you hungry?" he said. My stomach growled loudly in response. "Yes." As he left, I looked over at my baby.
She was asleep, her long brown hair covering her goddess shoulders. She seemed to be okay, her arm was bandaged and she was safe. Especially with me around. If anyone tried to harm her, I'd be the first line of defense. They'd have to kill me to hurt her again. She stirred a bit, dreaming.
Her eyelids moved back and forth. That's associated with dreaming. I wondered what she was dreaming about. Then her lip quivered, and a tear fell out of her beautiful eye. I'd seen her at her best and her worst, I'd seen her cry and shout, but this pained me more than anything. More than anything, I hate seeing my fiancee upset. I soon fell asleep again.

I stood at the forest edge. I contemplated whether to go in or not. I couldn't just stand there, I had to do something to save myself. I saw Sophia, covered in blood, twisted around like Aurora in the Disney version of Sleeping Beauty. My stomach flipped around, and I didn't want to leave my darling in the mist of this whole mess I'd caused. By telling her I love her, by admitting my love to anyone really was a huge mistake. I'd gotten myself hurt and now she was dead.
Tom would pay for this. My fists clenched as I thought of him. That stupid lying idiot. I'd get revenge on my love. My pride and possibly life depended on my wits now. I suddenly heard voices and hid. Tom/Billy appeared through the brush. When he saw Sophia's mangled body, to my surprise, he started crying.
He picked her up and held her like a little girl holding a favorite doll. "This is all my fault, " he whimpered. "I love you, Sophia. I truly do. I never meant for you to get hurt like this. I only wanted you to get hurt, so you'd see what a huge mistake you made. I actually never wanted you to get hurt at all. I wanted revenge. God, I'm such a pathetic loser. I love you so much. What am I going to do? I can't live like this!" he blubbered, smoothing back her hair to look at her face.
Then he started to really sob, holding Sophia Martinez like a baby. I wanted to stab him. He'd caused all this. He'd gotten her killed. He kept muttering about how much he loved her, and how much he hated himself. He mentioned "Tobias." It didn't matter much anymore. I was fat, I'd never be popular, and the love of my life was dead.
The mess wasn't actually Billy's fault, it was all mine. I really wanted to kill myself then. I'd tried to before. Besides, my family hated me. Something about lying and revealing family secrets. I'd die, and no one would care. Not Logan, or Michael, or even Nina or Tony.
I found the edge of a cliff, and prepared to jump. "WAIT!" a voice called. I turned and saw my friend David. He was running up to me, his blond hair coming out of his ponytail. "Don't jump!" he cried out. "Why shouldn't I?" "Because...there's someone who...really...loves you Tobias." "No one loves me." "Actually, he does." "He?" "Yep. It's a he." Now David was staring at his feet and turning pink. Was he gay?
I don't mind having gay friends, but I don't like being kept in the dark. Even not for something as serious as this. Suddenly, David grabbed my shoulders and kissed me. I was so shocked I didn't fight it. His lips were thick and soft and moist. They reminded me of Sophia.
My heart beat faster and David didn't let go. Suddenly, I slipped anyway. Panicked, David held my arm and didn't let go. I wanted to die anyway, so I didn't bother. "David, let me go." "I'm not gonna let go! I'm not gonna let you die!" David has incredible strength, and he pulled me up and to safer ground.
He locked me in an embrace. "Look, stay with me if you need a place. Don't kill yourself." His blue eyes pleaded with my brown. He leaned forward and kissed me again. He held on again and didn't let go.

I once saw a psychic who told me to "find clues in my dreams". I realized she was right.

I was doing research project in science with David. He lived in housing projects, about twenty minutes away. He was sitting on his porch, drinking a Coke. His sister Daphne stood up to go inside. She had chestnut hair and tanned skin, and was pregnant with twins. She was huge. I knew her because Tony had screwed her after he drank too much at a party he co-hosted at a friend's house.
David stood up to greet me. We hugged and he shook Dad's hand. Dad left and he led me to his room. His house was clean. His father was drinking and yelling about something. "Ignore him, " David whispered. "He'll pass out in ten minutes."
David's room wasn't very clean. Clothes dotted the floor, and there were a bunch of Coke cans and bottles. An electric guitar stood in the corner, along with a karaoke system complete with a microphone. "I'm in a band. I'm the lead singer, " David explained. "That's cool." I said.
He seemed guarded; like he was hiding something. "You know, I had a dream that you were gay." I said. "Would you be upset if I was?" he answered, shocking me. "No. Are you?" I asked him.
He looked directly at me. His eyes are a very light blue. His hair is platinum blond and wavy. He wears it long, in a ponytail to his lower back. Suddenly, he leaned forward and grazed my lips. It was the best kiss I've experienced. Most of the girls I've dated have pressed too hard or jammed their tongues down my throat. Most of them do not know how to kiss. But David did.
He ignited a spark in me, one I hadn't realized was there. David and I are opposites; I'm more likely to be water if I was an element, him fire. He turned away. I noticed a leather jacket on his beanbag. It was the expensive kind. Huh. I figured it must have been a present or something.
David put a CD in a radio in another corner. It was Three Days Grace. I looked at his other CDs. A lot of punk, some classic rock, some metal, a little emo, some Goth. Whoa. I knew he liked music, but I didn't know he liked it this much. He also had an iPod he was never without.
He snaked his way around me, and took my jacket off. "We're both blond." he said. "Yes." "Do you have a problem with me being gay?" "Not at all. One of my cousins is gay." He grazed my lips again, igniting another spark.
My stomach twisted in nervousness. A part of me had always known I wanted to experiment with guys. I usually liked girls, though. I'd crushed on Michael for a while, until I found out Nina, my best friend, liked him too. She didn't know I liked him, but she knew I wanted to explore my sexuality, find out who I was.
Tony knew, but our parents didn't. No one else except my best friend and my brother knew. At least not that I knew of. David caressed my body. He touched my stomach, making a nerve in me jump. Did he care that I was fat? Probably not. He was probably like Sophia, only with less baggage and drama.
I needed to stay away from Sophia, and I knew it. She was nothing but trouble. We'd spent all those months together, in fear. Fear of Billy and Kalonice. David had little baggage. He had an ex-boyfriend who'd loved him to death. Jake lasted three years, until David fell out of love and dumped him. It had torn Jake apart, he was depressed for months.
Years, actually. According to him, David was the perfect boyfriend. I stood there, kissing David and thinking about Jake. David wrapped his arms around me, keeping his fingers on my lower back, letting them trail down.
David pulled my greyish brown shirt off, exposing my large midsection. He kissed it, undoing my jeans button and unzipping them. I felt around his chest and stomach, exploring his body. He had a soft stomach, but a hard chest and arms. His legs were built like tree trunks.
His face was heart shaped. He began to feel around, exploring my body. But...this wasn't right. I was still with Sophia. Shit, this isn't right. What will Nina think? I thought. Nina is Sophia's sister and my best friend since the fifth grade.
"Stop." "What's wrong?" "I'm still sort of with Sophia. This wouldn't be fair to her. I just can't do it." "Oh." David said. He was disappointed, but he tried not to show it. "David..." I started, but he was already working on the plans for our project.


Nina forgave me. She said our friendship came before my relationship with her sister. She was right. I was stupid to ask Sophia out, she was my best friend's sister. Nina smiled and hugged me. "She doesn't want to see you, but I do, " she singsonged. I smiled. I used to crush on Nina, and she used to crush on me.
We never knew until I had already started daydreaming about her sister.

We sat on Nina's bed, getting ready to play a videogame. Nina's not a gamer girl, but she likes the occasional game, especially if it's Kirby. I heard shuffling noises upstairs, like Sophia was getting ready for something.

 

"What's she doing?" I inquired. Nina glanced at me, looking nervous.

 

"She's made some small and big changes. Her clothes and makeup are the same, but her hair isn't. Her hair's changed, and she loves it, but you might not."

 

"What do you mean?"

 

At that moment, right on cue, Sophia walked in, wearing her famous green dress. Her hair was platinum blond.

 

"When did you decide to do this?" I asked, standing up. She smiled and touched my chest with her index finger.

 

"Tobias, after our break up-"

 

"Break up?"

 

"Yes. As of now, we are no longer dating."

 

"Wha...I...how..."

 

"Remember our little discussion? I decided you weren't right for me, that I'm Kalonice's."

 

"Kalonice? Your ex-boyfriend?"

 

"He's my boyfriend again. I evaluated life and gave myself a makeover and a confidence boost."

 

"Sophia, you know I love you. I would have supported this if it was for your self-esteem, but I wish you'd told me."

 

"Tobias, I don't have to tell my exes everything."

 

"I didn't ask you to. I said all I wish is that you'd told me and been more open and honest."

 

"Baby, he's threatening me!" Sophia suddenly cried out. She ran out of Nina's room and into my rival's arms. Kalonice glared at me with his piercing yellow eyes. God, I hated him. He said something to her in his romantic Greek accent. Then he said something in Spanish. Sophia replied back.

 

"What are they saying?" I whispered to Nina. She stared out the screen, eyes glazed over.

 

"He asked her if she was all right and she said yes. Then he told her she's beautiful and she should wear that dress more often. Controlling motherfucker."

 

I was thinking the same thing, but I was shocked to hear that word come out of her pretty full lips. She cusses as much as I do, which is rarely. I looked back at Sophia and Kalonice, but they were gone.

 

"He probably took her to the park. Maybe a restaurant like Olive Garden. He's actually twenty one now, so he can drink legally. I've seen him share drinks with her because she'd never get away with it. Well, if she had a fake I.D she could. Sometimes he says she's twenty one too, and people usually believe him, and don't even ask for her I.D. She has a fake driver's license that she has in her wallet. She drives the Honda around. He says she's beautiful, hits her, rapes her, cheats on her, says he loves her. I actually think he really does, I think he's into some stuff he's not telling her or she's not telling me. Like drugs. He's been convicted of possession, but it was five ounces of marijuana." Nina vented.

 

She looked at me. I looked back at her, absorbing the information she just told me.

 

"Why didn't she tell me? I thought she loved me. She said she did." I babbled.

 

"She likes you, just not as much as she said she did. I hate to be the one to tell you, especially since I'm her sister and I've known it, but it's time you knew. She has a thing for guys who can do stuff for her or to her. Remember Billy slash Tom? He provided protection from Kalonice because he's huge. He gave her the fake driver's license because he loved her and probably still does. Garrett Maker? He got her information about scholarships and sent her some stuff early on because his father's the dean at a huge university. Pak? from South Korea? He gave her juicy gossip because he used to live right next to a celebrity family. Shall I go on?" she said.

 

"No." I said. I realized I was starting to cry. I sniffled a little bit. "I get your point."

 

She cuddled close to me. "I'm sorry, Tobias."

 

"Nina, I made a huge mistake. It's my fault...."

 

"No, it's not. If it's anyone's fault, it's mine. I should have told you." "Nina, you couldn't. Not without her knowing." "Toby, I'm sorry." "Nina, stop apologizing. I'll get over it."

 

"Tobias. You probably don't need to hear this, but I've seen guys crash because of her. Billy got what he deserved, jailtime, but at what price? Garrett Maker got so depressed he tried to commit suicide, and Pak never spoke to anyone in our group again.

"I'm worried she's going to get killed at some point. Either because of him, or too much alcohol. Or that she's going to get arrested. Tobias, she has things and she's eaten things that she's stolen. She's a master theif. That pale lipstick she's in love with? She stole that from a boutique with no security cameras. I didn't even see it, and I was right there! She confessed after a few months. Kevin and our parents still don't know.

 

Kevin knows what she's doing, and he's just as scared as I am. Our parents don't know at all. They just think she's really popular. Which she is, but she's over-the-top popular like they think she is." We held each other for another hour or so, saying nothing, just cuddling. I tried to numb the pain I felt inside, but I couldn't. I felt like it was entirely my fault. If I'd seen a sign...a clue. Some clue to a lie she'd told me or a secret she'd held back.

 

Mom walked into Nina's room just as we were putting her GameCube away. "Tobias, it's almost dinnertime. Are you all right?" "Anna, maybe you should talk to me first." Nina said. "Dear, what's going on?" Nina led Mom into the hallway. I looked at myself in Nina's vanity mirror. To me, I'm plain.

 

Nina says I'm cute and popular, but I don't understand where she gets either of those things. I have dirty blond hair, my eyes are small and brown, my lips are full, my cheeks are chubby, and I'm chronically obese.
The sharp stabbing pain from before gave way to a dull ache. After Mom and I got home. I went upstairs. We'd recently gotten two turtles, and boy and a girl. I stared at Seaweed and Amanda. You could tell they were definitely together, and Amanda was getting ready to lay some eggs. They are river turtles from the Missipi River.
They swam around each other, giving each other enough room to move. Their aquarium is large, but they prefer a specific spot, close to the top. Amanda accidently bumped the glass, scaring herself into her shell.

___________________________________________________________________________________________

 

I had never been so heartbroken. I'd been in love before, but not like this. Not epic. I've been dumped before. Never has it ever hurt this much. I've also dumped girls before. Some got over it quickly, some didn't.
My first girlfriend's name was Holly. She was a redhead who couldn't get enough of herself. She was so vain it took all my energy to keep my cool. She's still pretty vain. She's close with Maureen, one of my friends and the

 

most popular girl in the freshman class.
Then there was Amber, a blond. She wasn't vain, but she did get jealous easily. She got so jealous of Nina, my best friend, that she slapped her. Gone that day. Then it was Amy, a brunette. She was too serious about everything, and it got boring pretty quickly. She's the opposite now, completely fun loving and never takes herself seriously.

 

There was Tracy, a black girl. She actually dumped me for a quarterback. I mentally ran down my list of ex-girlfriends. Karen was a peppy cheerleader. She had good qualities, but she always got mad when things didn't go her way. We actually sort of dumped each other.

 

Chelsea Bagans had an obvious crush on someone else. Debbie Winehart always compared her intelligence to mine, calling herself smarter and brighter. She's still in the top five in our class.

 

Willow was the last girl I dated before Sophia. I may have said it was a blond, which did happen, right before Willow. Willow didn't last long at all; her family didn't approve of me because of my stupid player older brother. He's not a player anymore, thank God. He's got a hot African American girlfriend named Keisha. He's still stupid, though.

Keisha and Tony cuddled on the couch, watching Pocahontas: Journey To A New World. Keisha had crimped her relaxed hair and wore red lipstick. It was actually more berry. I know I seem to know a lot about makeup. I actually do, because I read all the time. After Mom reads her magazines, she puts them in CD organizers throughout the house. Sometimes it's fun just to flip through, see what girls read.
There's nothing wrong with a boy subscribing to Seventeen, is there? No, because Nina told me she actually likes it when I subscribe to those magazines. Besides, the real life stories are fascinating. I read a short article about a girl being scratched by a mountain lion, and she didn't go to the hospital! Another girl got struck by lightning.
I read through all those stories. Interesting. I flipped to the love part. Shoot, the magazine was telling vital secrets. Darn. Well, some of them were guys. Hot Guy Panel List? Hmm.

My thoughts turned back to David. He'd been perfect. Well, almost. My heart leaped at the thought of kissing him. He was so beautiful, with his long blond hair and perfect figure. He was strong, powerful. The opposite of me. I knew all this, and I wanted him now. No, I needed him now. I wasn't sure if it was love or lust I was feeling.

Enough of this, I told myself. I have to call him. He picked up on the fourth ring. "H-e-l-lo," he said.

 

 

"It's Tobias," I answered.

 

 

"Baby! What makes someone like you call someone like me?"

"Maybe I have to know what you feel about me," I replied. He paused.

"I want to say I love you, but that's not quite right. Pretty damn close, though," was his answer.

"Oh." I simply said. I wanted him to say he loved me, not that. "How about you?" he said quickly. "How do you feel about me?" I paused for a moment. "I think that I am in love with you, " I answered honestly. He didn't say anything.

"You shouldn't." he said, then he hung up. I felt betrayed, yet I also felt happy. Does that make sense?

 I hoped so. I looked up at my ceiling.  I sat up and opened my laptop. I Googled David Berkinschiemer. To my surprise, I saw his mug shot.

David's Secret

He'd been arrested before, several times. For underage drinking, driving with a suspended license, reckless endangerment, resisting arrest, obstruction of justice, and fighting. I knew he fought. He'd shown me. He obviously trusted me, but I was beginning to wonder if I could trust him. He was not good news, but who doesn't like a bad boy, even secretly?

I figured I'd give him a break. I figured dating me would change him a little. I admit it, most of the time I'm Mr. Goody Two-Shoes. Maybe that's what David liked about me. Maybe. I hoped so. I hoped he didn't just like me for my looks like a lot of people do. I have blond hair and brown eyes. I am in the top five in my class.

 

I held David against me. He had his head on my chest. We had just made hardknocking love. So hard I literally almost passed out from sheer giddiness. He actually had passed out and was now sleeping. I massaged his scalp, feeling his soft hair. I sat up a little bit; David grunted.

"Don't move," he said and brought himself up to face me. "Close your eyes." he ordered. I did so, and felt his lips on mine a few seconds later. He rubbed his stomach against me. He was warm.

"You are so freaking hot. I think I actually am in love with you, Tobias Shane Grass." he said. "I know for a fact that I am in love with you, David Chris Berkinschiemer." He smiled and pecked my lips again. He pulled the comforter over us and he started pumping. I gasped and panted as he moved. I wasn't worried about someone coming in. We were at David's house. Mom thought I was spending the night at Michael's. His parents would be gone for the weekend.

He rolled me over so I was on top. I was self-conscious about my belly and didn't like this. I paused. "What's wrong?" David asked, looking worried. "I don't like this. Turn me over." I said. "With pleasure. Pun intended." he replied. I smiled.

He pumped so hard I thought I was going to explode. "Do you want me to stop?" he asked.

"No, keep going!" I yanked him closer and ended up pulling us both off of the bed.

"Ouch!"

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"Well, don't be," he said, pushing a lock of hair out of my face. "I've never gotten that type of reaction before. It makes me tingle all over." He cupped my chin with both hands. We were still tangled up, but neither of us had any intention of going for air yet. I felt my own heart beat as I gazed into his midnight blue eyes. He smiled and fought his way out the comforter, leaving me even more tangled but at least I could breathe. He ran into the bathroom.

"Fuck." I heard him say. "What's wrong, baby?" "It broke. It's ripped in half. I can't even get it off." At that I walked into the bathroom and found him struggling. I helped him ease it off. He gazed at me and touched my shoulders. His mouth opened a little. He seemed to struggle for the right words to say.

"I never want to hurt you." he said. "I love you so much, Tobias. So much it hurts. I know this is going fast, but what we just did was incredible. I've never felt my insides feel so hollow. In a good way." He pulled me so close...so close I almost couldn't breathe. He pushed me away as soon as he realized that. "I'm sorry, baby," he said. I wrapped my arms around him. "It's okay."

He touched my lips lightly. At this romantic moment, I heard my cell phone go off, playing the song that I've entitled my mother with. Green Day's "American Idiot", she replays it over and over again.

"Mom?" I replied.

"Baby, I have a surprise. You might not like this, but...eh, I'll wait until dinner tonight. It's a family matter. I have yet to tell your brother. When will you be home?"

"Probably in an hour."

"Perfect. Be home soon, son. Love you."

"I love you too. Bye."

"Bye." And we clicked off. I paused for a moment. Then my phone rang. It was Nina.

"Hey, hottie!" she said, sounding perkier than usual. "Party at The Warehouse. Everyone who's anyone is going to be there. Plus David. I just texted him and said you'll be there. There's no way he'll say no. He's crazy about you."

"I just talked to him. He said that doesn't necessarily love me-"

"Pish posh! He's nuts about you! If a bullet was heading toward your chest, he'd jump right inbetween you and the bullet and let himself get shot!" Her words made me feel better about myself, and my and David's relationship. I was insecure, yes. I am an insecure person, and I admit it. It's one reason why some of my relationships haven't worked out, insecurity. I am an okay boyfriend otherwise, except when I slapped Sophia and got angry at her. A part of me still loved her, I realized. Yet, I also loved David. I decided to talk to my brother.  Still holding my cell phone, I knocked on his door.

"Well, I've gotta go. Bye, gorgeous!" Nina said cheerily.

"Bye, beautiful." I said, pressing the red button.

Tony opened the door. He was watching Beowulf. He smiled.

"Brother, watch this with me. I've got snacks and stuff." He handed me a bottle of root beer. I popped the cap and took a sip. Tony handed me a piece of chocolate. I nibbled it. I sat on his bed by him. Tony is a huge movie lover, and he wants to go to school to become a director, like I want to become a producer. I told him my feelings. 

"Have you ever been in this position?" I asked. He nodded. "Spring and Keisha." he explained. Spring, the crazy ex-girlfriend and Keisha, the drop-dead gorgeous African American girlfriend.

"I just went with the flow and let myself get caught up in Keisha's love and beauty. I love holding her in my arms, feeling her lips on my cheek, touching her strawberry-smelling hair."

"Tony."

He blushed. "Sorry you had to hear that, Tobi." He readjusted himself so he was laying down inside of sitting. He rubbed his chest. I leaned against him, feeling the need for David. A huge part of me couldn't get him out of my mind.

 

 

Later at dinner, Mom pushed her plate away and folded her hands under her chin.

 

"Boys." she said.

 

"Mother." Tony replied right before shoving a forkful of bell pepper in his mouth.

"That's really attractive." I said sarcastically. Mom chuckled. She got really serious then.

"Boys, I'm pregnant." Tony actually choked so hard that I slapped his back. When that didn't work, I stepped around him and wrapped my arms around his stomach. When he coughed it out, he looked directly at Mom.

"I thought you said you're pregnant?" he asked. Mom nodded.

"With twins. I don't know the sexes; I'd like to be surprised."

"Are they Dad's?" I asked. She nodded.

"I know I'm thirty nine, but whatever."

"Have you thought of names?" I said. She nodded again.

"I'm thinking Teresa if at least one's a girl. If the other one's a boy, his name will be Thomas."

"Isn't Tobias enough?" Tony joked. I thumped the back of his head.

Mom giggled. "Boys. The point is that I'm pregnant with your siblings."

I was happy, but I was also nervous. The only sibling I've ever had for fifteen years is Tony. I didn't know waht to think about all this. Tony didn't either; as he was silent for the rest of dinner and afterwards he went straight up into his room and started watching funny YouTube videos. I know the last part because when I went up upstairs to get ready for bed later I heard him blasting the volume. This was probably too much for him to handle. Plus, he'd been really secretive lately. I knew he was keeping something from me but I didn't know what.

I called David, but he didn't answer, nor did he call back or even text me. I was disappointed, but I figured he was working. I hoped he'd be okay.

 

He did finally call me, three minutes after midnight.

"I'm sorry I missed your call," he said, out of breath.

"It's midnight and I'm tired." I said irritably.

"I'm sorry, baby, but I've been working."

"I can see that."

"Look, I'll make it up to you. Dinner, Saturday at seven? I'll pay."

"Whatever." I tried to hang up, but he wanted to stay on.

"So what's new?" he asked.

"I just found out my mother is pregnant with twins."

"Awesome. Boys, girls, or both?"

"We don't know yet."

"All right. Well, I'll let you get back to sleep. I'll pick you up before school tomorrow."

"Again, whatever. Good night David."

"Good night. I love you."

I hesitated for a moment. "I love you, too."  Then I hung up on him. I was thoroughly irritated with him.

 

 

 

Catfights and Cliques

The next morning, I sat on the porch steps, waiting for David. He appeared, that expensive red truck. He kissed me when I got in. We said nothing for the rest of the ride to school. We didn't need to. I was still a little mad about what happened last night. Inside, I wanted to leap on him right now and make love with him. But there's a reason why it's called a love life, not a sex life.

David glanced at me. "You want something to drink before we arrive at school?"

"Not really. You want something?"

"Yeah. I'll stop over here." He stopped at a Kwik Shop. He went in, and returned two minutes later, holding cups and a plastic bag. He gave me a goofy grin when he got back in his truck. He looked up at me. He leaned over and kissed me again. He put his hands on the wheel and pressed the gas, put it into drive.

 

School went by quickly. Well, the morning did. After lunch, I had Advanced Chemistry. It's normally not for freshmen, but I'm one of the top three in my class. I know that sounds slightly bragging, but my mother told me not to be so modest and to brag a little every day. I do have clinical depression, and I take medication for it. I don't go to therapy anymore; too many complications.

Anyway, I was doing an experiment with my partner Maia. I took notes while she mixed chemicals. "Be careful..." I cautioned while she poured sulphur in the mixture. She grinned at me. "So...how are you and Sophia?" she asked.

"Sophia and I broke up," I explained.

"What for? You two were so cute!" she said. I gave her a weak smile. Maia is smart, but she's spastic and slightly ditzy, she acts dumb and extra girly for cute guys. Don't get me wrong, guys do love girly girls, but Maia acts fake. She got that tip from Maureen, of course. Maureen is a good friend of mine, but she does irritate me sometimes with her ''tips" that she gives to other girls so she can have all the boys in school to herself. Lately, since we started high school, it hasn't been working as well, since there are girls higher up.

Including Burkhard High's own Regina George, Hannah McFarlan. Hot as hell, Confidence Central, knows all of the hottest trends before anyone else does, but not very nice or very smart. She only got in this class because her father is the head of the school board. He's also the owner of several exclusive salons and restaurants. Her mother designs clothes for at least five designers, so of  course she has the money as well.

She walked towards me in Chemistry, giving me a flirtatious smile. I didn't say or do anything, not wanting to be stupid, not knowing what she wanted. "Hello Tobias." She said in a very saucy voice. "Hey Hannah." I replied as I'm scratching the back of my head... She can already tell that I'm a bit nervous. "I'm having some trouble with my homework... and since you're the smartest guy in school, would you mind helping me?"

"Maybe. Depends on what it is." She blinked. "This class."

She was full of bull. There was something else on her mind. She blew me a makeshift kiss, then sauntered off, exagerrating the roll of her hips, holding her chest a little too high to be natural, making all the other guys and girls look at her. Her partner, James, seemed pleased to have her back. Typical idiot in love with a girl who'll tear his heart apart. I myself couldn't help but study her dark hair and light skin and amber eyes. Absolutely beautiful, but will rip men's hearts apart like I said.

This was interesting for me. I've been asked for help before, but never by an upperclassmen, usually by friends or classmates, and rarely by a woman so beautiful and intimidating at the same time. Maureen doesn't count, she's a friend and a classmate. Besides, Hannah is quite possibly the most beautiful woman in creation, but I can name ten reasons right now why I cannot have her.

                                                           1. She is an upperclassmen and as you know, freshmen boys get intimdated by upperclassmen women.

                                                           2. She will break my heart.

                                                           3. I cannot compare to the men that she has dated.

                                                           4. Mom would never allow it.

                                                           5. Tony has dated her. Luckily they had the same thing in mind.

                                                           6. She is still Tony's friend.

                                                           7. Soon enough it will be illegal for us to be together because she is older.

                                                          8. She is incredibly sexy.

                                                          9. She has a boyfriend all the time and no one can keep her relationships straight.

                                                          10. I have restrictions and rules on relationships that she will never follow.

 

You may think what you want about those reasons. Some are stupid, I'll admit it, especially the last one. I  wish I was a bit more open minded. She is the type of woman that makes 'Patience' by Guns 'n Roses run through your mind. Enough about her. No, not nearly enough about Hannah, but I will stop now.

 

 

 

I looked around for David at lunch but I didn't see him. I heard a loud noise, and saw four girls arguing. Sophia, Maureen, Ruth, and Chloe were all arging with each other. I got up, but I was torn between three of the girls. I didn't want to hurt someone, so I sat back down.

The girls advanced on each other, and Ruth grabbed Sophia by the hair and slammed her into a water fountain. This infuriated Sophia, and she did the same thing to Ruth. All of a sudden, four girls were fighting in the middle of the cafeteria. I saw a fifth girl enter the mix, Ruth's older sister Rene. Rene grabbed Maureen by the waist and pulled her off of her sister. A few teachers and the principal herself acted quickly. It took seven people to pull all five girls apart. I was impressed.

But the fight wasn't over yet. Sophia made a jab at Maureen, who grabbed Sophia's arm and twisted it. Sophia shrieked in frustration and she yanked Maureen's hair with her free hand. Maureen twisted around and kicked Sophia, knocking her down. Two teachers grasped the girls' shoulders and and pulled them apart.

I felt a cold, familiar hand on my shoulder.

"Nina." I said, turning to look at her. She looked pissed.

"That stupid trashy slutty-"

"Whoa, whoa whoa. Easy, killer. Who are you talking about?"

She flipped her raven-black hair behind her. "All of them except Maureen."

"Even Sophia?" I asked, surprised. Nina had never, ever spoken that way about her sister before.

"Sophia is off her rocker, bat crap crazy. She's been doing things that I would never dream of doing!"

"Hold on, you two are not identical, remember? The only similarities you two have are the same family and you both have dark hair, although hers is brown. Well, now it's blond since she dyed it. She's flashier and flirtier than you. Nin, are you jealous?" The thought had suddenly popped into my head just a second before.

Nina blushed and looked away. "She's always been better than me. Better clothes, better makeup, better boyfriends. Yes, I am furiously jealous of her. But I'm not the only one. Ruth is insanely jealous and so is Maureen."

"Wait a second, our Maureen? She has everything though!" Nina shook her head. "She lost her sister when she was eight years old. Melissa was uber-popular and had everything. But Melissa got drunk one night at a party, she threw up in her own bag, then she fainted. But her real cause of death is mysterious. It's classified as an unofficial homicide. That's why she tries so hard. But Soph is effortlessly cooler than her and a little bit prettier, more womanly features. Sophia is hotter than Britney Spears, and she knows it. So that's why Maureen got involved. We all know why Ruth got involved; she and her sister are truly crazy. Do you remember how she treated you  earlier this year?"

"Don't remind me." I growled. Nina giggled and then got serious again in half a minute. "Chloe has a huge crush on you. She pretty much vies for you. Sophia is pretending to hate you but she really doesn't. She still wants you. Ruth-I don't need to repeat myself. And Maureen has been in love with you for forever, practically since second grade when she first came to our stupid worthless Chicago-sized city."

It's true-Burkhard is not well known but it's about the size of Chicago. Not as interesting.

 

"Anyway, all those girls were pretty much fighting over you, and popularity, honor, and respect. They hate each other." She looked down and texted somebody on her new phone.

 

 

____________________________________________________________________________________________

"Eff you, David." I said, looking around. My boyfriend was nowhere to be seen. He was supposed to meet me after school and take me home. But he hadn't shown up, and he was now an hour and a half late.

Stupid...what the hell is wrong with him?

I ended up calling Tony, who said he couldn't pick me up. I then had to call Mom, who was not pleased when I explained. I knew she was tired and stressed, and I hated bugging her when she was like this. Whereas Dad had always been predictable, Mom never was. She got quiet when she was mad. Sometimes she doesn't speak to you for days. I've been lucky.

Mom let me drive this time. I had a learner's permit that I needed to cash in when I turned sixteen. At home, I did homework quickly. I wanted to help Mom, ask her what I could do, but she was already asleep. My dog Girlfriend wanted to play. I grabbed her brush and began thoroughly brushing her. Sometimes she makes a deep throaty sound when I use her favorite brush, one with tines instead of bristles.

I'm not completely sure if Girlfriend is a collie or a sheltie; nor do I care. Well, I do a little bit. She may be a mix. Mom's Queensland heeler, Jazz, came over when he heard Girlfriend making what I call her 'grooming noise'. Jazz is young and loves attention. He loves Girlfriend,  too, but he hates it when she gets more attention than he does.

I heard my cell phone ring in my pocket. The caller ID said David, so I hung up. And I continued to hang up until he stopped calling. I didn't want to hear any excuses. The rest of the day went smoothly. Well, almost. Except for a few calls and texts from David, my evening went smoothly, until I spotted a flea in Girlfriend's fur. I brushed her throughly, trimmed her hair, then did the same to Jazz.

Jazz protested much more than my dog did. He began as a stray, and his former life is not well known. He may have been mildly abused before he escaped. Tony noticed bruises on his skin when we got him, and a bump on his head. Jazz turned and bit his stub of a tail when I reached that part. Then he yowled.

"Idiot," I muttered softly.

"Are you talking about me, or your dog?" I jumped my boyfriend's voice. "Where'd you come from?" I asked.

"Your mother let me in. WHy havn't you answered any of my calls or texts?" he snipped.

"Where were you today?" I counterbalanced. His lips parted for a minute before closing, and he appeared to be going over his words carefully. "Truthfully, I was fighting. I was in California for the day. If you'd opened my texts or answered my calls, you would have known that."I had nothing to say. He was right. I thought he'd been blowing me off, but he wasn't. He was out of the state.

I felt terrible. And the look David gave me was enough to knock anyone on his knees. He was furious, and I was embarassed. I picked a random dandelion and offered it to him. His look softened and he relaxed. He took the dandelion, smelled it, and rubbed his nose. "Do I have any yellow on me?"

"Not anymore." I stood up, and he clutched my hand. I took him inside, turned on the television and poured us a couple glasses of chocolate milk. David drank it slowly, and turned the channel to MTV. There, some guy was going through an awful date with a girl who loved gossip a little too much. I love gossip and juicy stories as much as the next person, but I'd be horrified with this girl, too. Granted, I'm a Goody Two-Shoes. (Well, sort of.)

My brother sat on the couch next to David and started a conversation about football. David hates football, and he wasn't interested. David wants nothing to do with the "social norm". He considers himself original, he is, and he isn't fond of unoriginality, or popularity, or anything he considers mainstream.

Especially not sports. He also doesn't like pop music. (Why, I'll never know.) His favorite band is something I've never heard of, called Book Drawer. (Why would anyone listen to a band called Book Drawer?) I love David to death, but he irritates me with his obsession with originality.  He barely heard Tony as Tone spoke of statistics and passes.

David gave me a weak smile and pecked me on the cheek. "Does your bro ever shut up?" he whispered.

"Hey, Tony!" I said.

"What, Squirt?"

"Beat it!"

"Just trying to make friendly conversation with your boy." he innocently said.

"He hates sports anyway!" I told my annoying jerk of a brother.

"Whatever. FYI, my girlfriend is coming over."

"And this is news how?" I said sarcastically. I like Keisha, she's a complete angel, but Tony makes her sound like a Burlesque dancer. I wouldn't mind having her for a girlfriend, though. Keisha is African American, drop-dead gorgeous, very intelligent, and she is overall amazing. Hannah McFarlan may be hot, but she compares to Keisha.

Keisha happened to walk in just then. Well she knocked on the door and Mom let her in. "Hey, darling," Mom said, smiling. Mom likes Keisha a lot, partially because she broke my brother's bad habit of screwing girls over. She adjusted Keisha's vest slightly before she let her go upstairs to Tony's room.

David smiled a bit. "She seems all right, but  how come she didn't acknowledge us?"

"She probably didn't see us. She always says hi to me. I don't know why she wouldn't talk to me on purpose."

David looked unconvinced. Around eight o'clock, he had to go. He kissed me for three minutes exactly before he left. I missed him and wanted him back the second he left. I texted him quickly, telling him I loved him. He replied back with 'I love you too, sugar.'

I crawled into bed early. Girlfriend decided to join me, and jumped on my stomach when she got on. "Must you always jump on my belly when I go to sleep?" I asked her. She scratched her ears. Translation: I don't care what you say, I'll do what I want.

 I suddenly heard loud classical music. It was beautiful, haunting. The type of music you feel you've heard before. The kind of music in fantasy stories, when a lone woman is walking down a path to where she doesn't know ends. She comes to a fork in the road, she doesn't know which way is to her lover. She decides to take the path that makes more sense, the calmer path. It is chillingly quiet, as if haunted by a soul or more. I feel that way now about David.

I wanted him more than anything else in the world, but perhaps we are not meant to be. Heck, I was only fifteen and a freshman in high school.

 

I found that I couldn't sleep. I tried reading a book (The Scarlet Letter, required reading), and when that didn't work, I tried another, more calming book, (a dictionary). I tried listening to Native American music, which usually calms my nerves, but even that didn't work.

 

 

                                                           

Jealous Much?

I was worn out, yet I was wide awake, if that makes any sense. I had drinked two cups of coffee that morning. Life was taking another downhill turn fast. And at the center of it all was...well, me. David didn't speak to me at all that morning, which hurt, as you can imagine or have already experienced. If you havn't yet had someone you love suddenly stop speaking to you, congratulations.

However, all of my usual friends were still speaking to me. My good friend Hafize is a relationship expert. She's so good that people have suggested she write books. She has not yet taken that into consideration, saying she's happy just to give advice. But even she couldn't figure out why David was acting strangely. Nina couldn't explain it, either. I decided to let her alone for a bit, not talk about it, because she was going through relationship troubles herself. She and Michael were on an on-again-off-again relationship. He wanted to keep going, but she wanted to end it for good.

 

I talked to Logan, he said he didn't know why, but I don't think he really listened, because he texted or pretended to text Lindsay, his cheerleader girlfriend.

 

Chemistry. My stomach took a huge dive when I walked in. David was sitting at my desk. Well, at Chester Chesterfield's desk. (Why on earth would you name your kid the same thing as his surname?) Chester was another guy who came out of the closet two years ago and he's kind of a loner. He's somewhat attractive, with black curly hair, washboard abs, and green eyes.

Anyways, Chester sits right next to me, and we've never talked, except for one time when he asked to borrow a pen. Now he was arguing with David in my seat, his hands gesturing towards himself. I could tell he was more upset than David.

"Dave, you need to tell Tobias, or I'm telling him myself!" he said.

"Tell Tobias what?" I asked. They both looked shocked to see me.

"Never mind. I'll let Davy tell you." Chester said, smirking.

David did not look happy to see me. "I-I have to go." he said. "Wait a second, David." I said, grabbing his arm. "Tell me what's going on." He glanced at Chester, then leaned close to me.

"I'm sorry." he said before leaving the room. I looked at Chester. He bit his lip, and turned toward the front. I touched his shoulder.

"Chester," I said, right before the bell rang. Incredibly, almost everyone was late.

"What's going on?" said the teacher.

 

"There's a brutal fight going on in two bathrooms." someone said. The teacher ran out the door.

 

"Chester," I repeated. He leaned close to me.

"I kissed David. He didn't stop me. He furthered it. I didn't even know about you until this morning, that's why we were arguing. I'm so sorry, Tobias."

Ouch. That hurt. I couldn't concentrate well, which annoyed Maia. People do use me, for my grades. I confessed nothing, knowing Maia would use it to score some popularity points. It seems like all anyone at my school cared about was popularity. Another reason I loved David was because he didn't care about that.

Yikes. I had never experienced something like this before, nor had I ever loved someone more.

 

David was waiting outside of the room. I figured he was waiting for me, but I didn't want to talk to him. I started to turn before he grabbed my sleeve.

"Wait! Tobias-" he said as turned me around to face him. "Toby, I need to talk to you."

"It's all right, David. Chester told me everything. He stood there, shocked, while I turned around and headed toward my locker to change books. While in Choir, it was a catch-up day, and I had a chance to go to the library. I like libraries, they make me feel comfortable.

While in there, I browsed and settled on a book titled Cosmos. It was a book about space, of course, but it also involved a girl in serious trouble for spraying graffiti and messing with people's grades. Her name happened to be Keisha, which I thought was interesting, because they are both African American, and the Keisha I know would never do anything so stupid.

I went back to the classroom to read it. It was so good that I decided that I'd do my book report on it that had recently been assigned and I had yet to find a good book that I haven't read yet.

I asked Tony to drive me home. He was surprised that I wasn't talking to David, until I told him what he'd done. Tony had nothing to say. Of course he was not so different until recently.

 

I kind of wanted to tell my mother, but then I decided against it in case I decided to let it slide. I ended up asking Nina's advice through text messaging. She suggested that I break up with David, and frankly, I agreed with her. I told Mom and Tony what I was going to do before I did it. I took a guiter pick of David's that he'd recently given me to remember me by.

Tony ended up driving me to the projects. David's house always made him uncomfortable, because first of all, he hated David, second, David's sister Daphne wanted Tony to be hers, even though she had a boyfriend. When she saw us, smoking on the porch (Why would you smoke when you're about to give birth?), she caressed her strawberry-blonde hair and smiled at Tony flirtily.

I asked for David, while Tony stayed in the car. David invited me to his room. I agreed, but only because we'd have some privacy.

"I don't know what Chester told you, but he was the one who kissed me."

"He said you deepened the kiss."

"He's lying. He wants my body, is what he wants." For the first time ever, I noticed a slight accent that I couldn't place. I don't know why I've never noticed it before. David could be a chatterbox sometimes.

"David, it doesn't really matter at this point. Honestly, I've been thinking about this for a while...." I clipped.

His eyes narrowed and put out the cigarette that he'd been smoking. He went over to a mirror, and ran a brush through his long blonde wavy hair. "I honestly don't care anymore. If you're going to break up with me, just say so." he said. This time I noticed an Australian ting to his voice.

"David, I...I love you. I'm not going to break up with you."

He stopped brushing his hair and looked at me with surprise. His mouth opened a bit. "I love you, too, Tobias. Come here." I obeyed him and went to him. He embraced me with a hug. I smelled fresh cologne on his wife beater. "Hold me, honey." He said, then he kissed my head.

"David, are you Australian?" I asked finally. I had to get it out.

"I kind of am. I'm a citizen of both the U.S. and Australia. I was actually kind of...never mind, you don't need to know."

"I know what foster care is," I argued. "I have friends in the system." David shook his head.

"Not foster care. Something else. I'll tell you in time. It's too painful for me to revisit right now."

"All right, then I won't push you."

"I am half Australian though, and half Hungarian. I'll tell you that much. Like I said, I'll tell you more later. Right now I want you to squeeze my tummy." he said. I squeezed his tummy and let him squeeze mine.

He walked me out, holding my hand. "Know what, mind if I take him home?" David asked Tony. Tony looked amazed that David would even suggest such a thing.

"I suppose if he wants to. I can't stop him. By the way, I hate you." Tony answered.

"I know. I'm not fond of you, either." David replied. I smacked my forehead with my hand. What a jerk my brother and my boyfriend were to each other! And I felt sort of caught, but I didn't want either of them to know that.

 

All was smooth while David took me home, except that we were almost hit by a texting driver, and David got pulled over. He looks older than he actually is, so the cop let him smoke in the car and didn't bother asking for his driver's license. Doesn't that break protocol? Yes is the right answer. Whatever, at least he wasn't arrested or anything.

David led me inside my own house, much to the dismay of my mother. I still hadn't told her that he'd cheated on me, and she didn't say anything.

"How did I get so lucky?" David asked, fingering my hair. I smiled, enjoying his touch. yet something felt off, wrong. Very off.

 

I went to Nina's for a bit when David left to talk to her. I ended up with Sophia.

"She left a while ago. She should be back soon." she told me when I inquired about her sister. She invited me to her room, and of course I accepted. I kind of missed Sophia, but I was glad that she was over our breakup, and I soon found out why.

 

She sat at her vanity, applying makeup from Victoria's Secret. "What's going on?" I asked her.

"Tom got out of jail." she said. My heart stopped. "Huh?" I said stupidly.

"Tom got out of jail, and he's asked me on a date. He promised to clean up his act and get help. If he doesn't, we're over for good. He's in therapy for his sister's death. He visits her grave frequently. I myself have been there once or twice, even feeling her touch on my shoulder once." Sophia explained.

"Will he leave me alone?" I asked.

"He should." she replied. "But like I said, if he bullies you again in any way, we're over for good. He definitely looks better, FYI. His hair is longer and gelled. He smells amazing. He doesn't have the stench he used to have. He even wears a bit of foundation now, and his acne is cleared up. His lips aren't chapped anymore. I'm telling you, Tobias, he looks unbelievable." she bragged. Well, it wasn't really bragging, but I'll admit I got a bit jealous.

"This is my ex-rival, right? Billy Paers?"

"He goes by Tom now, and yes, it's the same guy." She applied a final touch of lip gloss, and she started picking through her closet. She settled on a black cocktail dress and black tights with black and lime green stilettos. I turned away while she dressed.

When she gave me the okay to turn around, I felt my mouth open a bit. She looked incredible. She'd straightened her hair more, her makeup was totally sexy, and that dress looked absolutely gorgeous on her. I didn't know what to say. She looked amazing, fantastic. I took a picture of her as a keepsake.

I wondered if that made me a cheater, then I figured David deserved it. At least I didn't kiss Sophia! She posed like a model, knee sticking out, hand in the air, fingers gesturing toward herself. She even opened her mouth wide and stuck her tongue out.

 I turned away, smiling. I didn't see the figure in the door until he cleared his throat. I looked up, not recognizing him at first. He looked familiar, wearing a black and white plaid shirt and faded blue jeans with a hole in one knee. He smelled like Axe Chocolate. His hair had grown and it was straight and gelled like a faux-hawk.

"Tobias." he said coldly.

"Tom?" I asked, tilting my head. He nodded.

"You look...different." I told him. I expected him to say "In a good way or a bad way?" or even "Thank you" but instead he said  "I know. My girlfriend, the gorgeous figure that you're standing with, likes it at least."

"I have a boyfriend!" I shot back. He smirked and shook his head.

"Figures he'd go gay," he whispered to himself. Sophia smacked him on the forehead. "Loosen up," she ordered. He straightened up immediately, sucked his stomach in, and shot me a fake apologetic look. I watched as she unbuttoned his bottom buttons on his shirt and started rubbing his eight-pack.

I headed downstairs. I grabbed the front door knob, only to discover someone else was turning it. The door opened and it was Nina. She looked surprised but pleased to see me.

"Hey, Toby."

"Hey, Nin."

"When did you get here?"

"Like five or ten minutes ago. I spoke to your sister and saw Tom." Nina nodded.

"Where did you come from?"

"Honestly, I came from a date with a sophomore." she said, and her face scrunched up, like it was painful to say.

"Any luck with him?" I asked.

"He's hot, but he has a girlfriend. Enough about that. You just spoke with Miss Perfect?"

"If you mean Sophia, yes." Nina pressed her teeth together.

"You do that any harder and you'll chip a tooth," I joked.

Nina just headed toward her room. Her bedroom is very pastel and soft. A lot of Easter colors and even an old white rotary phone. At least her television is a fourteen-inch flatscreen built into the wall. She can even turn the monitor with the push of a button. That's cool.

Sophia's bedroom has hot pink on one wall, red on another, black on another, and dark grey on another. Her bedsheets are a mix of pinks, reds, and black. Her telephone is red and lip shaped. Both girls have a vanity and a desk, and a television of course. Sophia's TV is the exact same as Nina's. Her vanity is straight out of PB Teen magazine and spray-painted hot pink. Her desk is from the same company, but it's red.

Nina's vanity is yellow and from an antique store, and so is her desk. Right now she was combing her black hair, complaining.

"She has to have the best of everything! The best boys, the best grades, the best taste-"

"Nina, you have the exact same things she does. You can't control your love life."  I said.

"She can control hers. Mine is confusing right now. I want Tony, I want Michael-" she began, and I suddenly stopped studying a magazine cover with Ashley Benson on it.

"What did you say?" I asked. Nina turned red and continued complaining.

"She is so hot, and she thinks she's so cool. Everything she does is effortless, while I put in ten times the amount of work! She's the hottest chick in school, hotter than Maureen, even! She's even hotter than Keisha!"

Suddenly everything made sense, and I felt like a fool not to catch it. "You went out on a date with Tony?" I asked, furious. I respected Keisha, and I wanted Nina to show the same respect.

"What?" Nina said, studying my face. "It was one date. Besides, you dated my sister for months!"

"That's different! Sophia never had another boyfriend while we were dating." I answered. Nina smirked.

"What the hell is that for?" I demanded.

"She's a slut, a whore. She dated plenty of guys while you were dating. I never-" I was out the door before she could finish.

I took a few deep breaths before knocking on her door. "It's open!" her voice said. I opened the door. Her dress was rumpled a bit and wrinkled, and Tom had lipstick all over his face. He did not look happy.

"Sophia, I need to talk to you privately." I said. She gave Tom a look and he stood up, giving me a warning look, a look that said "You kiss my girl, I'll crush you." Sophia gestured for me to sit beside her.

"Nina just told me that you cheated on me." I told her. She blinked. "I never cheated on you. Not once. I think Nina's jealous because I have a steady relationship again and she is going through some shiz with Mike and Tony. Tony's a major hottie, he's considered boyfriend material by almost every girl in school, and every single one of them is vying and pining for him, especially Nina and Kari. You know, that one chick with the fake everything? Anyways, I heard that Nina asked Tony to go on a date with her. Michael was furious, although he did cheat on Neen first. I don't know how he found out, but he broke up with Nina on the spot. Guys say he went the bathroom next and washed his face, trying not to cry. Logan says that Michael wants to beat Tony up."

"How can he beat him up? Tony's twice his size and at least a hundred pounds heavier. Tony could beat Mike to a pulp."

"I don't know what Michael's thinking. He's really upset about the whole sitch."

 

 

I was pissed at Nina and Tony. When I arrived home, I found my mother on the couch watching Days of Our Lives. I hate that soap opera.

"Yo, my brother!" Tony said, slapping my shoulder. I ignored him.

"What's your problem? Did you break up with what's-his-face Blond and Goth?

"His name's David, and no I didn't break up with him. I know that you asked Nina out and she accepted."

He looked a bit surprised, but mad. "Hey, she asked me out. It was just one date. Keish isn't...wait, you're not going to tell Keisha, are you?" he asked, his eyes big and pleading.

"If you don't tell her in two days, I will."

"I'll tell her! I'll tell her that Nina thought it was a date and that she was really hoping for a kiss." he explained. I shot up.

"You kissed Nina? You lying, worthless, brickheaded, two-timing, double crossing sleazeball!" I was so upset that I got up and actually almost punched Tony. He caught my hand in midair. I decided to make a deal he wouldn't refuse.

"Two days, you scum. Tell your girlfriend, Keisha, the cute black one, or I will tell her!"

"You wouldn't dare! I love Keisha, Tobias Shane, and I will tell her! I'd rather she heard it from me anyways! Besides, Nina won't possibly take that date seriously."

"Oh, she already has. By now she's concocted a plan to make you hers."

"Listen, if anything happens, I'll take full responsibility. I doubt anyone will fight, especially after earlier. When girls fight, they're vicious. I can't believe Mo would slam Sophie's head into a water fountain."

"Sophie? Don't you mean SophiA?" I demanded.

"Relax, brother. I can call her endearments too. You're not the only one who's kissed her neck." Tony smirked. A realization hit me, and it hit hard. Has Tony kissed Sophia? But she didn't lie to me, she wouldn't! Especially not with my male slut of a brother!

 

By now I'd had enough and I rescinded Tony's invatation into my room. Tony backed out, hands up as if trying to prove that he was innocent. I hopped online the moment he left. Opening my laptop, I wondered what to search for. How to handle a sociopath brother? A manic ex-girlfriend? Maybe a backstabbing best friend. I decided to write a paper letter. I tore a clean piece of paper from my biggest notebook, Math, and scribbled all of my thoughts down on paper. But who to give it to? Not Mom, she had enough stress. Not Tony or Nina, and not Sophia.

I needed someone neutral. I thought about giving it to David, but he was mentioned on this paper and I think he would have suggested going out or getting new friends. I thought about giving it to Hafize, but she tells all her secrets to a girl named Bianca, a rumor-spreader, or Gossip Devil as they were called in my school. I thought about several female friends, some of which were involved. Besides, a girl not involved would just tell Maureen or another Gossip Devil. Could I really trust anyone at this point?

Could I even trust my brother?

 

I eventually decided to give it to someone who'd helped me all throughout middle school.

 

_______________________________________________________________________________________

 

 

"I was hoping to hear from you." Mr. Reed said as I entered his classroom. My old History teacher.

"It's just that...I'm kind of going through some problems right now and I need someone to talk to." I tried to explain.

"Anything. What's going on?" he asked. I handed him the note and sat in the comfortable chair facing him. I looked at the time. I had five minutes to get this done then I had to book it to the high school to get there early.

"I don't know what to say, Tobias." Mr. Reed said. "I think you should break up with David for one, and I think you should stay away from your brother and best friend for a while. I have to admit I'm surprised though, I've never seen Nina act this way. Something's wrong. She-"

"Is not going to be evaluated by the school counselor!"

He chuckled.

"I wasn't going to say that. I was going to say that I think you need to do some research. Dig up her medical files. Surely she told you about her great-aunt."

I leaned forward. "What about her great-aunt?"

"I can't legally say any more about it. You're going to have to ask her yourself."

"All right. Thank you!"

"Anytime. Bye Tobias!"

"Bye!"

 

I pondered his meaning in my head. Did her great-aunt have a medical condition that was passed down onto Nina? If so, why didn't she tell me about it? My best friend was not Nina anymore, but she was some strange person that I've never met before. I had thought I knew everything about her! She knew everything about me.

I spotted a group of girls wearing leggings and tank tops and halter tops. Among them was Maureen. She was in the center, gossiping and laughing and poking fun at a girl with leukemia. That set me off. I walked right into the middle of that clique and grabbed Maureen's arm.

"We need to talk," I said. She winked at the other girls, who clapped and wolf whistled.

"What's with you?" she asked, twirling a curled hair.

"What's your problem?! You know Katie has leukemia!"

"Chillax, buddy, I wasn't making fun of her because of that disease." she said disease like it was something to be ashamed of. "I was making fun of her because of those tacky tights she chose to wear today!"

"They are not that bad. Maureen, I've had enough of you!" I turned and walked away. I heard my name once or twice said by the voice of Nina, but I ignored her. I sat down with Michael, but he rolled his eyes and walked away from me!

Hurt, I made my way towards a secluded place, a corner where I could think. No, I was tired of thinking. I wanted to do something. So I went find Nina, but she acted like I didn't exist. Stunned, I went to class early.

 

I held everything in until I was safe in Mom's car. "Baby, what's wrong?" she asked, rubbing my back.

"Everything! Nina, Michael, Tony, Sophia, Maureen-"

"Slow down son. I can barely make out what you're saying."

I composed myself and told her the contents of the last two days. She got quiet when I talked about Tony and Nina. She asked about my other friends, and I told her my relationships were fine, which was half-truth. Logan hadn't spoken to me today, neither had David. I did not tell her about The Chester Thing.

Mom was as fumed as I was when I finished. "But Hafize's still talking to me, so is Bianca and everyone not involved. Chloe and Ruth are too, but you know I ignore Ruth. Chloe's fine once you dig deeper," I told her.

Mom shook her head. "I knew there was something odd in that girl. She's so ambigous, yet she's rather intelluctual deep inside her brain." I agreed.

 

 

I didn't speak to Tony, nor did I answer messages from Sophia, Maureen, David, Logan, Michael or Nina. I went straight to my bedroom and buried myself under the bedsheets. I ignored calls and text messages. David rang me ten times, Nina six, Sophia three times, Michael seven times, and Logan called four times. He never texts, he thinks it's worthless.

I felt worthless, unwanted, waste of space, useless, and tired more than anything. I was having bouts of insomnia lately. I only woke up to the smell of lavendar and bacon frying.

I went downstairs. Tony glared at me when he saw me, and I returned the look. Tony only got that look if he was in trouble. "I'm not eating. I'm not hungry," he said,  going upstairs.

"Is he in trouble?" I asked. Mom nodded. "He's not grounded, but he's not to have any contact with Nina. I took his phone and deleted her number. He probably hates me now"

"Not as much as he hates me," I mumbled.

"Don't blame yourself. He treated you and Keisha like garbage, something to be thrown away or tossed aside." Mom suddenly stopped and put her hand on her stomach.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"I'm fine, I just felt something. I've been pregnant for a few months, Toby, not a few weeks like you initially thought. I should have gained more weight than I did, but whatever. Hopefully it's fixable. Hopefully the babies aren't harmed. I did drink a little before I realized I was pregnant, Tobias. Hopefully that won't affect your siblings. My belly aches a bit," she told me. I don't think the last sentence was meant for me, but she was loud enough and I was within hearing range, sitting at the table.

I fiddled with a strip of bacon before popping it in my mouth. My stomach only growled louder and demanded more. I ate until I was stuffed and helped Mom clean up. I was secretly terrified of David coming in, so I kept checking the front door. Finally I did see his truck, but he drove right by. I heard a knock on my door a few minutes later. I checked it and it was Nina. I could tell that she'd been crying, but I really didn't want to see her. A few minutes later and I saw Sophia.

"Okay, I know you're pissed, quite possibly at me, but Nina needed to tell you something important!" she snapped.

"Okay, what?" I asked, not convinced.

"One of our grandmothers just passed away. We found out this afternoon at school, getting text messages from our parents. Nina really misses you and just wants to make things normal again." she explained. But me being me, I didn't believe her and slammed the door in her pretty face. I heard her say "Jackass!"

I felt sick. There was no hope. None whatsoever. I suddenly had a change of heart and decided to check on Nina. I told Mom I was going to the park, a playground by us with a shelter, and headed toward their house. Of course once whoever peeked behind the heavy door slammed it. It was probably Sophia, I could tell by the pretty eye and the long hair. I just couldn't believe I had a chance to fix things with Nina, and I ruined it.

 

 

Seriously, How Stupid Can Ya Get?

I felt awful, but now I couldn't do anything. I went home, and found Tony's car gone.

I went upstairs to check my phone for messages, and I found one very interesting one:

FITE RIGHT NOW! RUTH AND MAUREEN! FAKE HO'S GONNA GET BEAT!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I went downstairs and showed Mom the message. She and I got into the car to see where it was right away.

"Tony said he was going to Cedar Park," Mom said. "That's out of the blue, and little kids love that park! If they damage any equipment, it'll take months to replace!"

We got to the park in record time, and I spotted two girls going at it, one with platinum blond hair.

"Shoot, what're we going to do?" I asked.

"We should call somebody. You go see if Tony is here. If he's filming, take his phone and we'll use it as evidence."

I went to look for my brother. I saw him filming it with a videocamera.

"What the hell are you doing?" I whispered.

"Filming a catfight. This is amazing, they are fighting for reign of the ninth grade!"

"Wow. Anyways, listen. Mom's here."

Tony looked freaked out a t that.

"You son of a-"

"Don't you dare say it!"

"I was going to say son of Guns 'n Roses!"

"They are not that bad!"

"They're horrendous."

"They are amazing. What are we doing, now we're arguing about a band!"

"You started it!"

I heard a shout. A mother was screaming at Maureen. I realized whose mother it was, from the hair and face shape. It was Ruth's mother! Dang! Wild.

My own mother was on the phone, talking to someone. She was ready to break up the fight any second now.

A police car pulled up. A female officer got out and she and another female officer pulled the girls apart while a male officer arrested Ruth's mother.

"You're violating your probation, and you're breaking your restraining order! You know you can't be within twenty-five yards of your ex-husband's house!" he said.

I decided I didn't want to know.

 

 

Tony was pissed at me. Mom had confiscated the video camera. She still didn't ground him, and she was actually quite thrilled at "new evidence". When I asked her what she meant she explained that Maureen wanted to sue Ruth, "for slandering her and libel", and I wondered why. I get that it's a struggle to be popular for some people, but this was a little extreme. I also understand that several girls have a crush on me, but I'm just a guy. There's plenty of fish in the net that is school.

Or couldn't they have looked to other schools for a boyfriend? Our main rival, the Mountain Goats, has plenty of hotties to swim through. They have a Gay/Straight Alliance, too, which we didn't have until a couple months ago. They've had it for years. David told me that he had several exes in that club.

 

I needed some help, and fast. I couldn't call anyone. Well, maybe I could call one person, but I doubted she'd talk to me. I couldn't call her sister, either. They both hated me now. What else could I do? I could write; I'd been meaning to start a book. The only thing was, non-fiction or fiction? What could I write about if it was fiction? I knew I wanted a female for the lead character, but how old would she be? Her name? What did she look like? Was she blond? African American? Native American?

"Does she have a boyfriend? Does she hate boys? Is she attracted to girls?" I asked myself.

"What are you talking about?" my mother asked me, passing by with a basket full of laundry.

"I'd like to start a book, and if it's fiction I'm trying to decide what the lead character is like." I explained nonchalantly.

"Good for you. Good luck!" Mom said, walking down the stairs and headin for the utility room. I continued asking myself questions about my character. I wrote down some notes and questions. I drew a diagram. I wrote Lead Character in the middle and drew lines leading to bubbles, which would be filled with information about her.

Her name was Katie Hillman. She was the head cheerleader. Her hair had color in it, and was currently blond. No boyfriend, yet, but she was crushing on the quarterback. She found out she was a witch and a werewolf/vampire hybrid. Her ex-best friend was evil and wanted her life. This friend was poor and from the wrong side of the tracks. She was blond also. Katie had humiliated her last year and she wanted revenge, money, and popularity.

I suppose this story was inspired by my own life. I was Katie, in a way, but I was also Hillary, her old friend. I was also the quarterback. David was Hillary, and the quarterback. Nina was a minor character, and Hillary. Sophia was all three major characters. Everyone else would fit into the story somehow. Tony could have been Hillary, but he technically didn't betray anyone. He made some stupid choices, and he was sort of paying. He still wasn't in trouble, as he told Mom he planned to go the the school administration with the videotape.

I started out the story with Katie introducing herself. She bragged a bit about her money, about her status.

 

'My name is Katie Hillman. I'm rich. I know that sounds like bragging, but it's true. I'm also popular, all on my own. I don't need to intimidate people with secrets or money or insults. But sometimes it's fun. I stood at my rightful place at the gym front and snapped my fingers. A little snap, and all those cheerleaders got themselves in their places. Towel Girl Janice offered me some water and a towel. I ignored her and got to my place.

"1,2, 3, 4 go!" I called out. They did the cheer immediately. I called them out on their flaws.

"Teresa, more V, less U! Amber, more pom-pom, less leg. Vickie, more perk, more pep! Beatrice, you're...perfect actually. Whatever you're doing, keep doing it. Hannah, I told you no pigtails. They're ugly. Georgette, I thought I said that when you wear braces, choose pink bands!"

"Enough!" someone called out. I turned toward the intruder.

"Hannah, what are you doing?"

"I have had enough of your bossiness. I signed up to be a cheerleader, not a servant or a follower. I am not to going to stand for more of your insults. You are a royal whore. And a jerk. I am going to quit this club if you don't cut it out!" she said, putting her pom-poms on her hips.

"Excuse me? Honey, I do not take orders from you. You do not offer suggestion, direction, or anything else. One more word and you're out!" I explained, thumb-pointing to the door. Hannah let the pom-poms drop and headed out. And so did a bunch of other girls. "What are you all doing? Stop! Come back!" I ordered, trying to reassign my place.'

 

I was stuck there. Should she get in trouble, or should Hillary come and save her. I tapped my pencil on my desk and bit my bottom lip. Katie was already somewhat defined; everyone knew what she was like. In a way, she represented Maureen. Hillary also represented Maureen.

 

I studied my work so far. So, did you know that some people find it strange that men write about and to girls sometimes? Same for women writing about and to men. I personally don't care either way, I've read great books written by both sexes to both sexes. My favorite fiction book recently was Interview With The Vampire by Anne Rice. I hope we've all heard of that, and I certainly hope we've all heard of Anne Rice. She is a great science fiction writer, with fantastic plots and page-turning books. She is one of those writers that probably plans her work in advance and makes frequent improvements. Some writers rush through the book and it most often doesn't turn out well. Slow and steady wins the race.

So I sat on my futon that I'd recently ordered from PB Teen and watched a movie about cheerleading and science fiction. The movie itself was pretty terrible, but it had great tips and ideas riddled throughout the plot. The main character, a girl of course, ended up not getting the guy because he died for her. And the cheerleading squad was ruined and had to be reorganized, and everyone got kicked off even though no one had done anything  wrong.

 So, awful movie, occasional good tip or trick, and nothing worked out in the end. I wondered if it would be the same in my life. That's negative thinking. Maybe I'm a negative person, maybe I'm anxious, or maybe I haven't fully grasped the Law of Attraction. How could I, when everything in my life was crumbling around me?

 I couldn't. I wallowed in my own sorrow for the rest of the long night. I finished a James Patterson book. I finished a movie I'd begun but never finished. I finished a lot of things that night, including a report that was due the next day.

 

 

 

I dressed in a green shirt that Nina had once said she liked, and dark blue jeans she loved on me. I wore Axe cologne. Just a spritz on my neck, one under my arm, and once in my shirt. I was ready to face my friend if she showed up.

She did show up, although I didn't really expect her to. I knew she'd bury herself in schoolwork and what everyone now called The Ninth Grade It Girls Clique.Yes, that was their real name and it was led by none other than Maureen. She had been acting like the leader she  aspired to be. Since the fight hadn't happened on school grounds, she didn't get in trouble for that and neither did Ruth. I sat near her before school as I usually do and heard her usual morning gossip.

"Yeah, I'm like, calling a restraining order for her. She's a psycho," she said, talking about Ruth. Being a guy, not making excuses, I couldn't help but notice how sexy she looked today. She wore blue eyeshadow, applied nicely, a pink Victoria's Secret off-the-shoulder sweater, leggings, and black high heels. She smelled like vanilla and her hair was pinned to one side.

"You are so smart and so real. I couldn't deal with that bitch," Maya said.

"I know! She's like, totally getting on my nerves. She thinks every guy who looks at her is automatically interested. She's wrong, she's ugly, both back then and now. Chloe meant well but she did nothing for her."

I looked up. Chloe and Maureen were suddenly getting along? They used to hate each other, but obviously they had a lot of the same qualities and found something to like in each other.

"The slut?" Maya stupidly asked.

"I don't consider her a slut," Maureen explained. "I don't know exactly what it is, but theres' something in her I found I like. Whatever. The biggest slut in school now is Ruth. Even Hannah McFarlan says so. Right, Toby?" she said, looking at me.

I told the truth. "I haven't heard Hannah McFarlan say anything about Ruth." She, Maureen, nodded her head like she agreed with me. I knew she'd tell everyone that I agreed with her. I didn't care.

So I did see Nina and finally caught her after Choir.

"Are you all right?" I asked her. She shook her head.

"I....Hey, look, I'm really sorry. I was a jerk to you and Sophia. I have been for several months now. I'm-" I was cut off by a kiss from her. I was overwhelmed with love in that instant and confused and in pain. She pulled away from me.

"It was the only way I could think of to get you to shut up." she said. "Look, I've been a jerk too. Not just to you, but to Sophia. I've been angry and jealous and I wanted to be cool and popular. I also wanted to make you and Michael jealous because I was torn between you two. Not just because I love you both, but because Michael and his dad have a thing against gay guys. Really, my friendship with you comes before almost anything else in my life. I love you, Tobias."

I had known that she loved me, but not this much. "I love you too, Nina, but only as a friend. Everything cool between us now?"

"Yeah," she said, smiling. She hugged me and pecked my cheek. "Where's David?" she asked, looking around.

"I don't know. I havn't seen or heard from him in a couple of days. Should I call his family?" I asked.

"You might have to. Call his family tomorrow or tonight." she said.

I knew she was right. Whether David was breaking up with me or not, I needed to know if he was okay. Definitely so. I needed to hear his voice, feel his hair, touch his muscular back. I wondered if he felt the same way, I wondered where he was. I would soon find out.

 

David Is Found

I walked home with Nina. Tony refused to take me or her home. Besides, he had plans with Keisha. And I could use some quality alone time with Nina. We chattered about Sophia, and Maureen, Tony, and all the drama. Nina became suddenly quiet, and I realized we were in some woods by David's house.

It was creepy, dark, cold, and too quiet. No birds, no small mammals, not even a spider or butterfly. There was  strange smell, like a body. I saw a hair tie on the ground, with long blond hair in it, and I felt cold all over. I also saw a jacket, an expensive leather jacket. Cold sweat covered my forehead.

No wonder I haven't heard from him! I rushed forward. And I saw David's body lying in a pool of blood. I thought he was dead, until he stirred. Nina was already on the phone, talking to an operator. I  bent down and held his head.

"Tobias?" I heard him whisper.

"I'm here, I'm here..." I assured him. He smiled and closed his eyes.

"David, don't you dare! You'd better just be resting..." I felt tears sting my eyes. "I'm sorry, David, I'm so sorry. This is all my fault. Baby, don't leave me!" I blamed myself. I touched his chest. I pulled my hand away when I realized he had a wound there. Nina handed me his jacket, which I covered him with. His hair fell around his shoulders. I touched it. His shirt was so bloody that I couldn't tell what color it was for a minute.

Oh, red. How appropriate, I thought. I pulled him up, and kissed his lips. If I never held him again, I wanted one more kiss. I felt him deepen the kiss. He was still strong enough for that.

 

 

Before long, an ambulance arrived with some police officers. I told them everything I knew, admitting that I knew he'd been fighting. My mother was called. I watched while the ambulance took off with David. My mother was sympathetic.

I turned away from her and thought and worried about David. Nina had gone home with Kevin. I felt tears sting my eyes. David was my whole, my only one. Okay, that's not completely true, but I loved him enough that I'd never cheat on him or break up with him. He'd already technically cheated on me, and I wondered if he really was done with me. I felt like a shirt that could be returned and tossed aside.

 

Tony was listening to Newport Living by Cute Is What We Aim For. How interesting. I listened to the lyrics. I could name several people I knew who needed to hear this song. In fact, my entire high school could benefit from hearing this song. It wasn't bad, anyway. I looked at the television. My brother was watching Mean Girls. Again, how interesting. Also a great movie.

I laid down on my bed and let Jazz climb on me. He licked my face. Can dogs sense emotions? I know cats can, at least all the ones I've known can, including my own. Yes, I had a cat at one point. Mom also had a cat, and they both passed away several years ago. Mine was Regulus, hers was Virgo. Yes, we named our cats after sparkly objects in the sky.

Girlfriend laid herself on top of me. Her tongue stuck out and she looked at me with innocent eyes. I studied her cute face and scratched her left ear. She wagged her fluffy tail. She kissed me.

"Girl, my boyfriend's in the hospital," I told her. Her ears perked up. I saw that her claws were newly trimmed and her hair was soft and silky. Mom must've taken her to our pet groomer. Jazz didn't get the same coat treatment, but he did get his ears checked. The other day he got into a tiff with another dog while Tony walked him and the dog messed up his right ear. According to Tony, the guy walking the other dog had never seen a Queensland heeler before and wanted to get a better look at him.

Jazz started to sniff the other dog, that's when the dog attacked him. Mom put some peroxide on him when he got home, and of course he yowled and whimpered. Jazz was fine now, but always avoided other dogs now, even when I took him to the local dog park one day. He just cowered between my legs and always ran and hid when another dog approached him.

 

I finished a math assignment with an ungodly amount of problems, and read ahead in my Chemistry textbook. It was actually quite fascinating. I also read a story in my English book until it was time to brush my teeth and get ready for bed. Tony was still up, watching Investigation Discovery. I knew he was still pissed at me for the Nina and the videocamera issues. I needed to talk to him. I missed him.

I knocked on his door.

"Do not enter if your name is Tobias." he drawled. I entered anyway. He glared at me and turned on to his other side, laying on his bed.

"Tony, you can't still be mad at me over Nina," I told him.

"If you started dating one of my friends, no one would delete her number." he muttered.

"Tony, that's not true. And my real issue is you cheating on your girlfriend."

"She's not my girlfriend anymore."

"Huh?"

"I told her, just like you wanted me to, and she broke up with me. She hasn't texted me back or called me back yet."

"Tony, she just broke up with you. It's going to take some time for her to heal."

"Psst. It's hard knowing who anyone's girlfriend or boyfriend or spouse is anymore. I'm sick of high school, sick of not knowing who I like or who likes me. I'm going to drop out."

"Don't you dare!"

"Why do you care? You jump from girlfriend to girlfriend to boyfriend and now you don't even know if he's yours or if he'll live anymore!" he cried. That struck a nerve with me. I started to pull back my fist then thought better of it.

I walked into my room and buried my head in a pillow. This was so messed up. My boyfriend was on the brink of death, my brother hated me, and some of my best friends weren't speaking to me. And Maureen had gone too far. I wasn't only worried about myself, I truly worried about her too. My friend was so concerned with her status, she completely forgot a few rules that the most self-absorbed person knows.

I found myself tearing up. I fell asleep crying.

 

 

 

 

I felt like I'd been run over by a truck and left to die in the dirt like David had. I felt stressed and dirty, no matter how hard I scrubbed myself. I hate dirt. I've never liked it. It's messy and filled with who-knows-what. I didn't even like studying it. And I love science. I felt my body slump all morning.

Tony had no choice but to take me to school, and we didn't say a word to each other. We went our seperate ways when we entered the building. When Tony sat with his friends, he sat where he could watch Keisha. Keisha was gabbing away on her phone, giggling and making high pitched sounds.

Nina sat with me. Michael glanced over at us, but he never approached me or her. He looked guilty though. Logan sat by me. He looked very different, wearing grey skinny jeans and a grey tank top. His red hair was gelled into a pompadour. His freckles were barely noticeable. I asked what was going on.

"Just trying something new," he answered.

I didn't say anything after that. I just read a book until the bell rang to go to class. I got to my desk just as the warning bell rang. My eyes must've looked terrible because Mr. Flock asked me if I'd gotten enough sleep last night. I lied and said yes. I knew that he didn't believe me, but he didn't press on. I paid attention as best I could, but it's hard when someone you love, someone you've given yourself to, was in the hospital with his life on the line.

Chester wanted to know how David was. I told him the whole truth and how I'd found him. I really had no reason to be angry at him, as he didn't know that David and I were dating. Really, if I had anyone to blame, it was David. I though about my boyfriend more, possibly my soon-to-be ex-boyfriend. At this point I really couldn't picture myself with anyone except for him. The only exclusion was Chester.

Yes, I liked Chester. I realized that with a sudden start. I felt like my chest stopped and all of my vital organs refused to work. I liked  Chester, a lot. I liked his strong jawline, the way his hair curled around his cheeks, his gorgeous sky blue eyes. No, they were brighter than the sky. More like a turqoise shade of blue with a touch of silver mixed in there somewhere.

Chester looked truly heartbroken when he asked about David, and I realized that Chester truly did love David. David was amazing, but he was poison at the same time. He had come from the wrong side of the tracks. He couldn't control where he physically lived, but he could control his personality. He was a player, an upstart. Realizing that little fact broke my heart into a million shards of glass.

I sort of drudged through Chemistry. Maya was a tad annoyed that she had to work a little harder than usual, but she needed it. Maureen was becoming sugar-coated salt.

 

 

 

I went to the hospital again, this time with Nina. I waited impatiently for the doctors to finish running a CAT scan for David. They were checking for internal damage and brain trauma. I knew he'd had some damage, I knew he secretly drank and did drugs occasionally. I'd seen him shoot heroin up his arm once. And I'd smelled marijuana in his room. I know what it smells like because I used to have a friend who did drugs, he eventually passed away from liver cancer.

I tapped my foot while Nina finished a Cosmopolitan magazine. I stared at the girl on the cover. Not because she was pretty, because she actually wasn't, but because I needed something to look at. The girl's name was Claire and she was apparently a hot and up-and-coming Hollywood starlet. I had never seen her in any movies or heard any music from her. She wasn't a model or an author. She appeared to just be a wannabe whose publisher paid the magazine to have her on their next cover.

I wondered if I was the same way. I'd certainly known someone who acted like that and still did. Her name was...no, I shan't say it again. Her hair was blond and she was popular and she'd kissed me before. It wasn't long before I was told that the CAT scan was done and I could see David.

I went in, stomach twisted in knots, wondering how to say what I was thinking or even if I should. David was sitting up, finally, but he looked nervous.

"A whole bunch of people got arrested, my dad included. They're thinking about arresting my mother," he explained. I immediately felt for him and didn't want to hurt him further. I nuzzled his hand with mine. He turned my hand over and rubbed my palm. He kissed it. I couldn't break up with him. No way, no how.

Nina gave me a good glare as we left the hospital.

"What the hell was that?" she asked me.

"I couldn't help...I couldn't help myself. He was so adorable, and I love him, and he has problems enough. I don't want to hurt him any more."

"Toby, he cheated on you without thought-"

"Without thought. He didn't think, Nina." I said.

Nina let out an exasperated sigh. She threw her head back.

"You have got to stop defending him, stop making excuses for him. He's bad news, Tobias. Stay with him if you want, but don't say I didn't warn you."

I nodded and told her I understood.

"This isn't his fault, Nin. He's pretty much lost everything, I'm the only thing he has left. I can't hurt him." I explained further. She nodded.

"You're right. He doesn't need a piece of his broken heart in his throat  because you broke up with him."

"What does that mean? Are you saying he's suicidal?" I asked her.

"It's just a rumor. Everyone's saying David wants to kill himself when he gets a chance."

"Who started this rumor?"

"Who started the rumor that Sophia still sleeps with a Barbie doll?"

I closed my eyes. "Maureen."

"Yes. She began that rumor. Whether it's true or not is anyone's guess."

I didn't say anything else until we reached my house. I helped Nina with her Science homework. That's her worst subject, while it's my best. Nina's talents lie in fashion and makeup. Me, I can play four instruments and my grades are phenomal. I hate having talent. I really do. I'd rather have no talent than to have tons of talent. I get asked for help all the time, and I only help about a third of those people.

I texted David, and he told me he was taking a nap. I told him to keep napping. He accepted.

 

Nina and I ordered pizza since we were alone for the night. My mother had a case involving a pedophile and Tony was out, probably buying cigarettes. He's not old enough, but he has a fake ID saying he's twenty one. He was always out lately, doing I-don't-know-what.

"Hey, there's a party this Friday at The Shack. Want to go?" Nina asked. The Shack is an abandoned house that teens in my neighborhood go to for parties.

"There's always a party there, but sure." I told her. She smiled.

"Sweet. Sophia's going, too, and so is Tom." Nina said, saying Tom disdainfully. She hates him as much as I do, maybe more so.

Nina paid for the pizza and we sat in my living room, watching The Ultimate Test. Awful name, great movie. It's about an alien falling in love with a girl from Earth. He ends up having to wipe out her memory of him and go back to his home planet to live out his days missing a piece of his heart.

I know, romantic. Nina leaned her head against my belly and sighed contentedly. I like that sound, because that's when I know she's okay. And no, I am not in love with my best friend. I did have a huge crush on her at one point, but that's passed. She likes me. Well, she used to, I don't know if she still does. I smelled something famiiar off of her, a perfume she calls Love Potion Number Nine.

I also smelled something else off of her, something enticing that I couldn't place. I put my plate on the coffee table in front of me. She nibbled on her second slice, halfway done with it.

I guess I fell asleep, because I woke up on the couch and Nina was gone. It was midnight. Mom was home, she left one of her summer jackets on the rocking chair her great-grandmother passed on to her. I crawled upstairs, and I heard Tony mumbling from his room. I crawled closer and placed my ear on the door.

"No, no no! The deal was supposed to be tonight and that fieing bastard doesn't show! I don't want to hurt anyone. Listen, you backstabbing witch, this scam was supposed to improve both our lives! Spring, don't...baby, please don't cry. Okay, I love you. Good-bye." And he clicked off.

I didn't know what to think. I was shocked, hurt, and heartbroken all at once. I took off my clothes and laid down in bed. It was comforting to have something warm over me.

 

 

I threw up the next morning, as did Tony. Mom thought we passed on a stomach bug to each other and made us stay home. I bathed and took time to reflect on my life. My boyfriend was wounded in the hospital, my brother was a con artist, and one of my best friends was setting herself up for major rejection. I listed the pros and cons of each problem on paper. I didn't want to admit that David wasn't right for me, but it made me reflect on our relationship and I knew it wasn't a good idea to stay with him.

Oh, dang. I was a complete mess. It broke me apart to even think about breaking up with him! Yet I had to do it. And I had to do it now. I ate some cookies (big mistake, I gained more weight) and pondered over how I would do it. Plus I needed to find out what Tony was talking about last night. I stared at my story, wondering what else to add to it. I started writing and let the words flow out of me.

"Fuck them." I said to my dog, Sweetheart. She's a Chihuahua. 'They'll regret the day they messed with Katie Hillman. I am the most important bimbo at that school, and they'll regret it when I beat them at Nationals with another squad.'

My stupid little sister, Goth Girl, also known as Laurel, came into my room and gave me a good glare.

'Hey, Bimbo,' she said, 'Your ex-boyfriend is calling.'

I grabbed the phone out of her hands.

'Sorry to be calling like this, but I've just lost interest,' he said. 'I'm interested in someone else. Sorry, Katie.'"

I stopped writing. I had not planned that part well, or at all. Originally Katie was not supposed to have a boyfriend. I erased the whole scene and started over. It was even better. It still involved her Goth sister and a huge secret that she'd been keeping for a few months.

 

 

 

I was walking through the park later, hands in my jean pockets, Jazz on a leash. I was thinking about David again. I know I shouldn't, but I was. I scolded myself for maybe ten minutes before I found myself in a familiar neighborhood. Not David's, Logan's. Logan lives in a middle class neighborhood. I've stayed with him many times. He was my best friend until Nina came along, and we're still pretty close.

His parents' cars were in the driveway, so I waited. I heard breaking glass.

"YOU BROKE THE EFFING WINDOW AGAIN YOU SON OF A PRINGLE!!!" His mother's voice boomed through the house. His parents fight a lot. They're both redheads, his dad has green eyes, his mother has blue eyes. She's also like twenty five years younger than his dad.

Logan stormed out on time, throwing his hands up in the air and making a frustrated sound that can't be human. He looked down and saw me.

"Can I stay with you tonight?" he asked without hesitating.

"Sure," I answered.

"What are you doing here anyway?"

"I was just wandering."

"How are you doing with whats-his-face?"

"Actually, not so good. I need to break up with him, but I can't. I don't want to lose him."

"So, don't."

"Nina wants me to, and she's right."

"You're doing it because NINA told you to? Toby, she's crazy."

"How?"

"She is hanging out with the wrong people, man. Maureen has totally manipulated her. She's out of control."

"No one wants to control her."

"Maureen does. She's like a cult leader, Cult of the Pretties."

 

Cult of The Pretties

"Cult of The Pretties?" I asked, giggling.

"In school terms it's called a clique." Logan explained.

That made sense.

"The perfect clique. Nina is a nice girl, a little too nice sometimes, and Maia is gullible," I noted. Logan nodded.

"Maia and Nina aren't the only ones either. You know Rachel Tyson, right?"

"Of course. Everybody knows her," I told him. Rachel was famous for doing all kinds of charity work, and she wasn't afraid of letting everybody know about it. In fact, she went out of her way to let everyone know how much money she and her parents gave to various churches, charities, and cancer research.

"M's got her under her wing, too. Along with Ursula and Mali, and she's working on getting Chloe."

"Chloe? Chloe Ryse? She hates Chloe," I breathed.

"Not anymore," Logan said. "She wants Chloe because the way Chloe dresses and acts. She's begun to like Chloe because Chlo is brazen," he continued. I noticed that he kept calling Chloe by her name, not calling her 'she' or 'her'. I also noticed he'd called her 'Chlo', which no one does unless their her friend or current boyfriend.

"Anyway, Maureen loves using people. She's rich, and she did steal some clothes and jewelry once," he said.

"That was in the seventh grade. Anyways, why would she bother? She's already the most popular girl in the ninth grade." I rambled.

"But not in the school. That title is taken by Delilah Pretty and Hannah McFadden." Logan countered.

"Too Nice To Be Real and Hot Stuff?" I rambled again. Delilah Pretty is a beautiful blonde who secretly cheats for her grades and really is too nice and too bubbly to be real. We all remember Hannah McFadden, Hot Stuff. The sexy one. In fact, she is considered the sexiest woman of all time, not just in school. It's hard to compare with Jessica Rabbit, Holli Would, and Amy Lee from the band Evanescence but that's what she does.

"She's trying to come up with a cool name that's not already taken." Logan continued. "Because, The Maureens? They are not all named Maureen and that sounds so wrong. The Glamours? That's middle schoolish. The Plastics? Taken and demeaning. The Pretty Committee? Taken. The Ashley's? So far there is not one Ashley in there and they are not all named Ashley. She wants a really good name. Linds overheard her talking on her cell phone to someone named Reese."

"You're still talking to Lindsay Reynolds?" I asked him, bewildered. Lindsay is his ex-girlfriend.

"Yeah. She kind of regretted breaking up with me and wants me back.  I know she's kind of become one of those girls with an agenda, but you know I love her."

"Now you know how I feel about David," I mumbled.

Logan nodded. "I do. Lindsay is...amazing. She's pretty much my world. I love it when she curls her blonde hair, when she wears that purple v-neck dress with rhinestones around her waist. I love that Esmeralda costume of hers. I pretty much love everything about her."

I thought, I thought about what I liked about David. Then I realized there really wasn't much to like about him except that he echoed mystery and he was beautiful. So why did I like him so much?  Because, shut up, best book ever.

I Break Up With David

I saw his red truck before it processed in my mind that he was there for me. Logan went up to my room, and I took David into the basement.

"I've got no place to stay," he said. "I talked to your mom, and she said I could stay here in the basement or in one of the other extra guest rooms," David continued. I touched his chest gently. He kissed me. It wasn't anything sexy, just a romantic kiss. I leaned against his chest and closed my eyes. It felt good just to inhale his scent. He smelled like musk, tobacco, sweat, and something sweet. I played with his blonde hair a bit.

I took his hair tie out and braided his long hair. Then I rubbed his back.

"Lower, baby, lower...yes, right there, my lower back, around the tummy area. Rub my belly too. I ache all over. Yes, right there...between my shoulder blades. God I love you. You...will you marry me?"

 I was a bit surprised and pleased by his proposal. "Let's see where we are when I'm twenty five."

"Okay, I'm sorry, that just kind of blurted out." I felt a rumble in his stomach, and he belched.

"Excuse me, I am a rude beast. Will you hand me that Coke?" he asked. I reached over to his desk, which had a computer,  a new one, and grabbed the Coke and handed it to him. He gulped it down.

My thoughts were twisted and confused. I had to break up with him. "David, I need to talk to you about something."

"What is it?"

"I...I don't think we should be together anymore." I just kind of let it out. Of course, David at me with surprise and pain. He closed his eyes and took deep breath. I looked down for a minute, and when I looked up, his eyes were red and filled with tears.

"I always sort of knew...I honestly thought you wouldn't break up with me, I thought I'd be the one to break up with you. I can't believe this. I want you, no, I need you..." he trailed off. I got off the bed and walked upstairs to my own room. I couldn't believe I'd actually done it. I broken up with my first boyfriend.

I Heard The Fake

I was in Sophia's room watching a movie with her. I had sort of become attached to her again, friend-wise this time. I didn't like Nina much anymore. Nina was becoming a royal...queen bee. So was Maureen. Something strange was  going on, and both of us wanted to find out what it was. 

She was laying on her bed, Tom by her side, watching some scary movie in which Sophia kept covering her eyes. I felt a sting of jealousy, and clinched my fists.

Titles And Heartbreak

 

 

"I am so winning," Tony said.

"Liar. I'm winning by fifteen points," I answered. We were playing Dr. Robotnik's Mean Bean Machine. In this game the object is to fill up your opponent's space with color blocks. The person who's space gets filled up first loses. It's a game of strategy basically, it's a puzzle game. Wit and speed.

 

Tony's phone suddenly started playing some random song. I soon recognized it, it was 'Livin La Vida Loca'. He picked it up and answered.

"Maureen? I can't talk now. I'm spending some quality brother time with my little brother. Mo, he's like a year younger than me. Chillax, you'll get your wish."

Then it occurred to me that Tony was working with her. But for what purpose? And why? Did she just want me, was she looking to outshine Sophia, or did she want more? She was probably the one coming up with whatever scheme she came up with this time.

 

She loves schemes and planning, she's always planning on getting something, and  she won't stop until she gets it.

 ______________________________________________________________________________________

 

 

 

Mom looked through maternity blouses while I searched the men's department for a black tie. I wasn't going anywhere, I just keep losing my ties.

 

"Can I help you?" a sweet looking brunette asked me.

"Yes, actually, I need a black tie," I explained.

"The ties are by the perfume department," she said, sounding more annoyed than helpful.

"Thank you," I said, trying my best not to tell her to go find her boss to complain to. People need jobs, and I didn't want to ruin this girl's job. Unless of course she was bad enough that I would have no choice but to tell her supervisor.

 

I browsed through colognes before I found a tie I liked. Perfect size, right color, made of satin. I happened to glance over at women's shirts, and saw Sophia pick up a pretty teal blouse with a flower on the shoulder. She put it over her arm to purchase. She spied a pair of knee-high black boots, looked at the sizes, picked up a box, and made her way over to perfumes. I made my move.

 

"Hey, Tobias." she said.

 

"How did you know it was me?"

 

"Your cologne. Only you wear that delicious flavor."

 

"Oh. Well. What are you doing here alone? Usually there's someone with you."

 

"Trying to get away from the Bitch Brigade. Maureen has gone off the deep end, and she's corrupted my sister and best friend. I can usually count on Nina, but now it's like she doesn't like me anymore."

 

"Maureen has gone off the deep end in craziness," I agreed.

 

"So I'm shopping by myself to make myself feel better. No budget. Mom and Dad give us each one million in shopping money every month." she said. Huh. That was new. I didn't know that.

 

I hugged her, and walked over to Mom. She smiled at me. "Are you friends with her again?" she asked.

 

"Yeah, she eventually forgave me." I explained. She nodded, and took the tie I picked out. She brought a bunch of clothes to the register. Ironically, the clerk was the annoying brunette. She gave us a fake smile and spoke to us in a fake voice that was higher-pitched than her own. I asked Mom for the van keys. Yes, we have several cars, one for Tony, one for Mom, the old family van that's been around for years, Dad's car, and that car that shall become mine the instant I get my license.

 

I scoffed and turned around. I spotted a patch of familiar looking blonde hair. I also detected a hint of an Australian accent. Tears stung my eyes at the memory of him. He really hurt me, and he was still staying with us. Was he stalking me?

 

 

 

 I felt heavy chested. I could smell his cologne. I saw a braid. A platinum blonde braid. I saw him. His hair shone like the sea, and all of a sudden, I felt his arms around me again.  I couldn't take much more, emotion was flooding through me like a waterfall.

 

I walked out the Exit, trying to regain control of myself. I unlocked the van, heard a nasty word behind my back, and climbed in. Some guy thought it would be a good idea to write the word fag on a piece of paper and press it against the window. That was too much for me. I broke down, hiding my face in my jacket. It was bad enough to be fat, but to be a fag, too? What else was I? Some loser? Some hopeless bisexual romantic who easily attracted both men and women and he had no idea why? Don't answer that.

 

 

 

 

 

I did tell my mother what had happened after I left the store, but not before. I know that if I hadn't broken up with him, I wouldn't be feeling like this. Even the "dumpers" in a broken relationship go through a period of grief and regret. Most of us, anyway. I felt the tears make their way down, and I wanted to take David back, apologize to him, to let him know I still loved him. I laid down in my bed for two hours when I got home. I didn't even put my new tie up. I looked at myself in a handheld mirror. To me, I looked ugly. I smirked, got up and turned off the light switch.

 

Forever or Just For a Few Weeks

"He's really hot. You'd like him." Sophia was trying to set me up with another guy.

 

"I doubt that. I will never like anyone as much as I liked-"

 

"Don't say it out loud! He and I are disagreeing on certain  topics."

 

"I thought you hated each other?"

 

"Not at all, we simply disagree on certain romantic objects."

 

I looked down. We were at a party at the Party Shack, an old abandoned house that students from Burkhard and Ingelheim gather to throw parties and sometimes do illegal stuff without getting caught. On the outside, it looks like a clubhouse. On the inside, you'll see topless girls, alcoholic beverages everywhere, and other crazy stuff.

 

"You'll last a long time with Rye," Sophia said, winking at me.

"Forever or just a few weeks?" I mumbled.

"A few months. He's superhot, but at the end of the day he's not the sharpest eyeliner in the makeup case," she said.

I shook my head and sipped my drink. I'd chosen a non-alcoholic beverage, root beer. Sophia sipped her ownbeverage, a margarita. I looked around, looking for some clues. I heard some girls gossiping.

 

"Seriously, is that her weak attempt to look pretty? She's never been pretty! She's certainly not as pretty as Maureen."

 

"Is that your weak attempt to hurt my feelings?" Sophia snapped.

 

"We were actually talking about her," one girl, a blue-eyed brunette, said, pointing behind us. A girl that frequented Burkhard's parties but didn't actually go to our school was visible. She was playing beer pong with some shady people. She reeked of alcohol. She finished, then spit out half a mouthful. She shook her California blond hair and blinked her seafoam green eyes. She was definitely attractive on the outside, but who knew about the inside?

 

I looked over at the people she was with. Maureen and Tony were in the crowd, and they appeared to be holding hands. I had seriously thought that Maureen had a boyfriend. Apparently he was my older brother. She looked content and sligtly slutty, as she kept giving guys The Look. A look that said "I'm desperate for male attention".

 

 

I was certain that David would be here. And he was. Making out with Chester in the corner until he was kicked upstairs. I told Sophia I had to use the restroom and sneaked upstairs. I walked until I heard familiar noises and listened in one of the bedrooms. I heard a male screech, then he gasped. I felt sick. I leaned back again, trying to swallow the acid building up in my throat. I smelled a familiar cologne and then realized the door was open. Realizing that I probably looked crazy, I stood up quickly.

 

I started to leave before he grabbed my shoulder. "Tobias..." he croaked.

 

"David, I'm-" But he fainted and I saw that it was Chester, not David.

 

"Oh my God..." I started freaking out.

 

"Get him in my truck. He's seizing!" David said, grabbing his infamous leather jacket. He slung Chester over his shoulder in one easy sweep. He carried him downstairs I followed close behind.

 

"Take him to the hospital," I told David as I got in his truck.

 

"No, I'm taking him home. I still need to pay part of the bill from when I went," he answered stonily.

 

"What for?!"

"He'll recover after some sleep and medication. He'll need to drink tea and water. And milk. Milk helps, it really does." David drove on, and the only sound was quietly-playing hard rock and Chester's breathing. My heart was pounding. We drove past a few familiar houses, mine included. I saw Mom inside, talking on the phone. When she saw the truck, she peeked around at us.

 

 

I saw a house from a distant memory. Chester's house. It looked like all the other houses here, his was a big mansion. Well, it was pretty darn close to being a mansion. David let us in with his key. How he got a key, I didn't want to know. A woman was there, chopping celery. But something wasn't right.

 

"Chester?" she asked, putting the knife down. She turned and I could see that she was blind. She held her peach-colored cardigan closer.

 

"Actually, it's David, with a friend, Mary. Chester's unconscious." David replied.

 

"I knew he should have taken his insulin with him. Take him up to his room." the curly-haired, brunette, blind woman named Mary told him.

 

 

 

 

"Mary is Chester's cousin. Her parents died in an accident five years ago. She didn't move out because she needs the support. As for Chester-"

 

"He's diabetic." I cut him off.

 

"That, and he has asthma as well. He has all sorts of health problems. Some of which I can't mention."

 

"How...?"

 

"He told me a lot, and this boy has an impressive amount of journals. He let me read some of them. He also has an impressive amount of secrets." We reached his room then. A bed was set in one corner by his closet, anoher was set above a television with a video game console. PlayStation 3. Games were organized in a DVD organizer. One was on top of the console.

 

I smiled and turned toward my ex and his new beau. David was smoothing Cheste's curly dark hair behind him and kissed him. Feeing a twinge of envy, I turned away. But I couldn't break my eyes away.

It's All Stupid And PPOB

"This is stupid." I muttered under my breath.

 

"Huh?" David looked up briefly.

 

"Nothing." I couldn't bear much more, so I went downstairs. I found myself sobbing so much I went outside and got in David's truck. Suddenly changing my mind, I grabbed my wallet and phone and headed home. I didn't walk far before I saw David's truck. He slowed down to my pace.

 

"Want a ride?" he asked.

 

"You've done enough for one night!" I screeched at him. He looked shocked.

 

Before it even registered, I walked into my house. I saw people, but that didn't register either. I overheard my mother talking.

 

"My younger son. He just came back from a party-"

 

I fell on my bed and sobbed until I ran out of tears. Jazz licked my face. I soon fell asleep.

 

 

_________________________________________________________________________________________

 

 

 I woke up to the sound of a pill bottle opening. Tony took some painkillers and took a big gulp of water before giving them to me. I pushed them away and turned on my other side.

 

"FYI, David's here."

 

"Tell him to leave."

 

"He says he won't leave until he talks to you."

 

"Tell him to leave anyway."

 

"He wants you to leave." Tony said. I turned on my previous side and studied the figure behind him. I started sobbing again. I turned away again.

 

"Tobias, tell me what's wrong." David said. I didn't answer him.

 

"Toby, tell me. Did someone hurt you?"

 

"You hurt me. By kissing Chester, you hurt me."

 

"You broke up with me, remember? I thought you'd be fine with me kissing another guy."

 

"Relationships are not that simple!" I snapped. He sat down on the bed.

 

"Why did you break up with me, then?"

 

"I couldn't handle your drama. But now I've realized that I would give up everything I have, except maybe my dog, for you."

 

"Why didn't you just tell me? You hurt me too, Tobias. Really badly. But now I'm in love with Chester-"

 

"Everyone already knows that."

 

"You didn't let me finish. I love him, but I love you too." he said. I sat up.

 

"Don't you dare pull out that cliche on me! You are not in love with me, you still are lusting for me!" I told him. He looked hurt, shocked, confused, loving, and full of hate all at the same time.

 

He bowed his head. "I hope you die in an industrial accident." Then he started laughing.

 

"Just kidding. I never loved you. I think you are hideous, and a nerd." Then he left, still smirking.

 

 

 

I walked downstairs a few minutes later.  I told Mom I was going to the park, and I left like I actually was going there. Instead, I headed towards a house I hadn't been to in a year and a half. Jake's house. Jake was my best friend before Nina. I had a crush on a violet-eyed redhead named Rouge, and he knew that, but he dated her anyway until she left to further her modeling career. Then he was gone for a year. He'd gotten back in October, and Rouge was not far behind him.

 

She was still in love with him, yet she was dating a prestigious actor. She was basically dating two men at once, both without knowledge. I am so glad I didn't date her.

 

I turned the corner until I saw the brick house. I would have gone to Logan, but he lives in a different neighborhood. And I was still fighting with Michael.

 

He greeted me with a tight hug. His sister, Sarah, was watching Gossip Girl and lounging. Jake invited me into his room, and I explained everything that was going on in my life.

 

"David's a jerk, and Maureen's a bitch. She thinks she's royalty," he said.

 

"You got that right. She thinks she's some hot celebrity who doesn't get enough credit," I told him.

 

"Speak of the she-devil. I hear her talking to Sarah." Jake said. We crept down and heard as much as possible.

 

"Tobias Grass is a hottie. He may not know it, but he is a chubby hottie," Maureen said. "Plus he's so mysterious and quiet. He'd be a perfect addition to our little clique. His stupid brother Tony is already a member. We just need two more boys and one more girl before we move in for the school-wide kill. That whore Sophia seriously needs to go, along with her slut friends, Ruth and Chloe.

 

They all hate each other, but they have one thing in common: they hate PPOB. Nickname for Popular People of Burkhard. Just a few more people, and we will have the hawtest, hautest clique in school! By the way, you need to talk to Kenya.

 

She has her  own issues to tackle, like her frizzy hair and tacky clothes. The other day, she wore a leather swimsuit under a short skirt. I am the only one who's allowed to dress like a slut. I am, after all, the prettiest girl in school, and the most popular girl in the ninth grade. We need to recruit Hanna McFarlan as well. She's the second prettiest girl in school."

 

Keep telling yourself that.

 

"Can she  really be that vain?" Jake asked.

 

 "Anything's possible." I told him. I hung out with him for a few more hours before going home. When I arrived, I heard arguing upstairs. Mom was looking worried and snacking on Cheetos and milk.

 

"What's going on?" I asked.

 

"Your idiotic brother and narcissistic ex-boyfriend are fighting about God-knows-what." Mom explained. I went upstairs before she said anymore, just in time to see Tony push David to the floor.  He held him down and swung his fist back to punch him, before I stopped the fist from hitting David's nose. Tony punched David in the neck with his other fist. David gasped for breath; I pulled Tony off of him and helped him up.

 

I walked out into the hall impulsively afterwards. Mom was walking upstairs.

 

"David and Tony got into a fistfight. Tony hit David's throat." I told her.

 

"Oh, for Pete's sake-" she walked into my brother's room and closed the door. I started to walk away, but David grabbed my shoulder.

 

"Why did you stand up for me?" he asked. I started toward my room again before he did and said the same thing.

 

"I hate fights." I told him. "I hate violence and drama. I'm not just a Catholic; I'm a Pacifist as well."

 

"Tobias, I don't care about your religion. Tell me the real reason."

 

"That's it! That's the real reason!" I snapped, saying only half the truth.

 

"You really do still love me, don't you?"

 

"It doesn't matter. You don't like me."

 

"Sugar, I lied to you earlier. I do still love you, very much so. If a bullet was heading towards your chest, I'd throw myself in the line of fire." Again, his Australian accent came out and the fake American tang was gone.

 

"Why do you fake an American accent?" I asked him. He blinked.

 

"Because I don't want anyone inquiring about my past, that's why. My parents were murdered, and I watched them get killed by a man they trusted. That's what really happened. Enough about me, I want to talk about you." he said. I scoffed.

 

"Right, and I'm Anna Leonowens."

 

"Who the freak is she?"

 

"Nevermind. David, do you really love me that much?"

 

"I just lost the fake American accent and told you what really happened to my parents. What more do you want?"

 

Before I could answer, he grabbed me by the shoulders and kissed me. He wrapped his arms around my midsection, and squeezed. He buried his head in my shoulder. I heard him whimper. He pulled me closer.

 

"I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I love you." he whimpered. I pulled him closer. "I didn't know I was hurting you so much. Please forgive me. I'll break up with Chester, I'll get clean, I'll do anything I can to keep you."

 

Wow. I hadn't known he loved me so much, and I'm still in shock.

 

"I'll think about it." I told him. He released me, and looked into my eyes. My eyes are greyish brown. His eyes are blue. We both have blonde hair, and his is longer than mine. Our style is not completely different. We both like comfortable clothes and don't really care about fashion. I always have a jacket, a regular old hoodie, and he has that leather jacket. We are alike physically, but mentally, we are two completely different people.

The Real Fake?

I avoided drama as much as possible, along with people. I kept my body close to the wall. I saw David talking to Chester, and Chester's eyes turned red. He'd recovered from whatever happened to him, but now he had to deal with this.

 

Chester avoided me as much as possible. He avoided speaking to me in Chemistry, and glared when I tried to talk to him about the simplest things. He sipped flavored water which I suspected held more than lemon powder.

 

I caught up with him after class.

 

"I need to talk to you for a second," I told him.

 

"I have nothing to say to you," he replied.

 

"We need to. I'm really sorry, especially after what happened this weekend. I'm really-"

 

"Get away from me. No one cares about me anymore." he walked away, rubbing his eyes.

 

 

I grabbed David at lunch. "Did you break up with Chester?" I asked.

 

"I did." he said, and I noticed that he'd kept his natural accent.

 

"What for?"

 

"For you. I told you, I'd do anything for you. Literally, I would die for you." he said. We were now sitting at a table in a private corner.

 

"Get back with him. He hates me now. He thinks no one likes or cares about him. He's depressed, and I think he's drinking something illegal."

 

"Here at school?"

 

"Yes. That yellow water? It has alcohol in it. I've noticed his speech is slurring a bit, and he looks more miserable than usual."

 

"Tobias, I don't care about Chester. I care about you. I love you." he said, touching my hand. I pulled it away. He looked hurt.

 

"So you'v made your decision?"

 

"Yes. Chester needs you more than I do." I told him. David looked down, looking hurt.

 

"Fine. I'll talk to him again."

 

"What did you tell him, anyway?"

 

"I told him that I'd asked you to make a decision. If you wanted to go out with me again, I'd break up with him. If you didn't, I'd stay with him."

 

"David Berkinschiemer, you are a moron beyond belief. He's not going to go back to you." I told him.

 

"We'll see about that."

 

 

 

 

 

I was in the library, when I heard the news.

 

"Did you hear? Chester Chesterfield got arrested!" some girl said.

 

"Huh? You probably have the wrong guy. I wouldn't be surprised if say, David Berkinschiemer got arrested, but Chester? He's too nice."

 

"Maureen overheard someone say he was drinking alcohol to David, and she told the principal."

 

Oh, crap. What have I done?

 

 

__________________________________________________________________________________________

 

 

After school, I walked home. Mom was putting groceries away as I arrived.

 

"How come you didn't ride with Tony?" she asked.

 

"Things are awkward between us right now. But that's not important. I saw that Chester Chesterfield was drinking alcohol at school, I told David, and now Chester's in jail and possibly expelled because Maureen overheard me."

 

"Your blonde friend?"

 

"She's not my friend anymore, but yes."

 

"All right, I'll make some calls."

 

"Thank you."

 

Tony was snacking on something when I turned.

 

"Chester Chesterfield in jail? Wow. That's something I'd expect from your idiotic ex-boyfriend, butChester Chesterfield? The most boring gay guy in school besides you?"

 

"Not funny. And he's really interesting." I argued.

 

"You three are lucky our school is so laid back and cool. Of course there's more gay people in school than just you three, but you three especially. There is so much drama between you guys right now."

 

"Do you know the root cause?" I asked in a sarcastic voice.

 

"Yes, I do. David is a fucking moron and an effing player. He's bad news. He's poison."

 

"I realize that now."

 

"And you know he's the one who told. Maureen told me in Stupid Science. She said he's a blabbermouth."

 

"You're lying. He would never!"

 

"And you are fooling yourself. I know Maureen is not the best source of valid information, but Stacy Hoff confirmed what she said. Stacy said David told her everything when they paired up for a project."

 

Stacy Hoff is a huge wannabe-that-will-never-be towards Maureen and her group. Frustrated, I walked upstairs. No way David would tell. Would he?

 

________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Fast forward to the next day: I am walking to my ethnic studies class, when I hear David talking to someone.

 

"Tobias told me. Tobias Grass. I still can't believe he fell for my act. He's a great kisser, I'll give him that. But he falls way too hard way too fast."

 

Hurt, I pretended to be sick, I actually did throw up, which I may or may not have provoked, and the nurse called my mother.

 

When I got home, I went to bed and laid there for two hours before calling David.

 

"Tobias, I'm in the bathroom. What's going on?"

 

"Um..." I couldn't think of anything. "I'm home."

 

"I figured you were. I haven't seen you since this morning. Why did you walk to school? It's too far."

 

"I didn't want to...things are awkward between Tony and I and you. Why did you fight him the other day?"

 

"He called me out on something."

 

"Like your plan?" A pause.

 

"Tobias, what are you talking about?"

 

"I heard you this morning."

 

"Let me explain..."

 

"You've done enough explaining. Don't speak to me ever again!"

 

"You called me, remember?"

 

"You told on Chester!"

 

"I didn't tell on Chester! Maureen did!" Then he hung up. I tried calling him and texting him a few more times, but no luck.

 

 

 

 

 Okay, so I deserved it. I should not have judged him.

 

The Rules Have Changed

"The rules have changed. It's not just about upping her reputation anymore, it's about keeping ours." Tony said into his cell phone. I knew he was talking about Maureen. Her clique was almost formed. She needed one more piece, namely me.

 

As for me, that whole thing was stupid. I did care about my reputation, but not like this. Not bullying, or hurting someone else to help yourself.

 

"Listen, I really like Sophia. I don't want to hurt her. I know Tobias dated her for months. He broke up with her several weeks ago. I know, I know. I think I'm in love with her." he continued. My chest stopped beating for two seconds. Tony loved Sophia? My ex-girlfriend? My ex-best friend's sister?

 

It didn't make any sense, at least not to me. I went downstairs to drink a strawberry smoothie Mom had made mainly for herself the day before. She thinks she's good at hiding food. She's not. As I drank it, I thought about the information I'd learned from Tony and David.

 

I wanted David back, badly. But I couldn't have him, not yet at least. Besides, he had hurt me.

 

 

 

 

 

Mom was singing "Snowbird" by Anne Murray. It was breakfast time, and a Saturday. And there was one more week until school let out. I could not wait for it. 

 

 

David was slurping Red Bull and watching some funny videos on the TV. I didn't realize I was staring until he looked at me. I was wrong to dump him. Very wrong. I looked at his long blonde hair. My heart pounded. I grabbed a chocolate muffin and looked at him. He looked at me, then turned back to his Red Bull and the television. I looked at his diamond-studded earlobe. He was shirtless, revealing every inch of his slightly-ripped abdomen.

 

 

"Melissa Virtman's body was exhumed," Mom told me.

 

"Why?"

 

"Because there's new evidence that suggests she was murdered. The car accident was after she was dead."

 

"Ick. Any suspects?"

 

"Melissa wasn't well liked, so there's plenty."

 

"I thought she was pretty nice."

 

"You only met her once or twice. She was absolutely vicious to people she felt were lower than her. She had a lot of fake friends and rivals."

 

"Who were her rivals?" I asked.

 

"Natalie Youti, Hannah Slkric, Carolyn Tearang, among others. Honestly, there's too many to mention."

 

"Wow. So they're going to question all those people?"

 

"And her sister."

 

"Maureen? Blond psycho? Why her?"

 

"Melissa was absolutely horrid to Maureen, and almost everyone knew it."

 

"Huh. That's not what Maureen told me."

 

"She wants people to believe she and Melissa got along perfectly. Melissa exceeded in everything Maureen doesn't. She was much smarter, prettier, more athletic."

 

"Hmm." That's not what Maureen told me. She didn't say she and her sister hated each other.

Maureen Tries To Have Her Way With Me

"It's not about my repuation!"screeched Maureen. I had confronted her and asked her why she lied to me. "It's about us. Protecting our statuses. You have a lot of potential. Lose the gut and you'd be perfect." she said, stroking my hair. She leaned forward, and tried to kiss me. I pushed her away.

 

"What the hell? Do you know who I am?"

 

"I know who you are, and I don't like you that way."

 

"You are going to regret this. I will make your life miserable."

 

"Go ahead and try. My life can't get more miserable than this."

 

"You son of a bitch. First you attract me, then you...." she broke down and buried her head in my chest. "I've always loved you, Tobias. I have always wanted you."

 

I squirmed away and turned to go. She let go.

 

"I will ruin your life, Tobias Grass, do you hear me?" she yelled after me as I left. I ignored her and walked the five blocks to my house.

 

 

When I arrived I was panting, and desperately needed a refreshing drink. I poured myself a glass of water. I turned around, and Girlfriend had her bowl in her mouth.

 

"I'm sorry, Girl. I forgot to feed you this morning." She wagged her tail as I filled it up. I set it down on her mat and turned to go. I felt a tug on my pant leg. It was Jazz this time. He grabs pants only if Girlfriend has something he doesn't.

 

"Tony?"

 

"What?"

 

"Did you feed Jazz this morning?"

 

"Mom did. FYI, Maureen called and wailed, calling you names."

 

"There's a shocker."

 

"Dude, she's loved you for years and she's the most popular girl in your grade. Why don't you say yes?"

 

"Because I don't like her like that. In fact, I don't like her anymore period."

 

"Dude, she could and will up your reputation. Because of her, girls are flocking towards you, brother."

 

"Thanks a lot." I told him.

 

"Bro, I'm serious. She tells everyone you'll eventually be her boyfriend." he explained.

 

"Oh my effing graciousness."

 

"Take the Lord's name in vain." he teased.

 

"Never."

 

"What kind of Christian are you?"

 

"Catholic, same as you."

 

"I'm not....never mind."

 

Jazz jumped onto Tony's lap. My brother shoved him off. Jazz, really, really likes Tony for some reason. It's weird, because Tony prefers Girlfriend to him. I suppose it's jealousy. We dug up on Jazz's background an learned he was badly abused when he was a puppy. Sadly, two of his siblings died because of it, the rest of the puppies and the mother escaped.

 

Now his mother and siblings are still strays. We know where they are because Jazz will go straight to them when he takes a walk. We can't take them in though, because they are too aggressive. Mom called ASPCA, but the accursed dogs keep eluding even them.

 

I went upstairs and booted up my desktop. I had a report on Virginia Woolf to finish, plus I still had Advanced Calculus and Advanced Astronomy. Yes, I'm in two science classes. We have nine classes every day. I know it's a little strange.

 

 

Catfights

All I saw was hair and fists. Another fight in the hallway, just before the fourth period. This time it was between Chloe and Maureen. I'm just surprised they hadn't thrown fists much sooner. They really don't like each other. I stepped out of the way just as Maureen missed my head.

 

Chloe's friend Aysia took a hit to the chest, then she jumped right into the mess. I ducked into a classroom until the girls were seperated.

 

"Wimp," Chester said, punching my arm.

 

"I don't like violence. And I don't like Maureen."

 

Chester laughed. "That's not what she's saying?"

 

"Excuse me?"

 

"Maureen says you two kissed."

 

"Once."

 

"And that you had sex."

 

"Never..." I said. His eyes widened.

 

"You did have sex, didn't you? You fucking dog! Maureen is going to love this."

 

"She definitely loves drama."

 

I hurried onto my next class, where I was the second one there. I always am one of the first. I looked over at the door and saw two girls arguing. Big whoop. There's always some kind of beef in high school and girls at my school love to fight. Guys do too, but they get into less fights than girls. Tony tells me that all the girl drama centers around three super-popular girls, maybe more.

 

I don't know if I believe it.

 

Keisha

I stared at Keisha. She was sitting on Tony's bed, snuggling a teddy bear.

 

"Keisha?" I asked. She looked up.

 

"How... what....?" I stumbled.

 

"I realized I'm in love with your brother. He tried every angle to get me back, so I decided to give him a second chance." she explained. I nodded. Then I stared again for different reasons. Keisha is, hands down, the most beautiful girl I've ever met.

 

She's African American, and her skin is clear and smooth. Her hair is long, soft, and wavy. Her eyes are very dark and pleasant to look at. Plus she's very nice and really smart. I'd try to take her for myself if Tony hadn't met her and asked her out first.

 

I had my own problems to sort out before I tried to get a lover again. Plus I wanted to solve the mystery of Melissa Virtman's death. And hopefully solve the case of the female fight club.

 

I went to my room and saw David slurping a Coke.

 

"You are obsessed with that stuff."

 

"If I don't drink it, I drink booze. I don't want to drink booze because your mom is the freaking lawyer. Plus she's pregnant. "

 

I smiled at him.

 

"Will you braid my hair?" he asked.

 

"I don't know how to braid hair," I replied.

 

"It's actually easier than most people think. You take two to three strands of hair and loop them around each other." He took his hair out of it's ponytail and started working on it. I brushed his hair.

 

"I'm sorry," he blurted.

 

"I'm sorry too. Can you forgive me?"

 

"Of course. Will you forgive me?"

 

"For what?"

 

"For all the extra drama."

 

"It's not your fault."

 

"Part of it is. Have you ever seen the movie Coraline?"

 

"Yeah, why?"

 

"Want to watch it?"

 

"Sure."

 

We cuddled up. Close the the climax, David fell asleep.

 

 

Impressum

Tag der Veröffentlichung: 07.12.2012

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Widmung:
WARNING: THIS CONTAINS GAY SCENES AND YAOI. IF YOU DON'T LIKE THAT, THAT'S NOT MY PROBLEM. DON'T READ IT!!! And this is to my cats, Marilyn and Calvin, who passed away in 2006 and 2008. BEST CATS EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Also, Burkhard is not a real city. I MADE IT UP.