I`ve been staring at the pain meds in my moms bathroom for 5minutes, could I do it?
I don’t wanna die but what else could I do?
There`s no point in living when every day of my life is misery.
I walked down the stairs got a vodka bottle out of the liquor cabinet that`s always unlocked.
I walked back to the bathroom grabbed the pills, then looked in the mirror before I did it.
I saw a girl who needed a way out, her messy black and red hair and empty green eyes, then at the pills and alcohol.
Well there`s her way out, I grabbed 3vicadin and took them and drank half of the vodka in the bottle.
A few minutes later I started to feel really sick, I could barely move without feeling pain.

Is this what it feels like to die? I did this so the pain would go away not become worse!

I crawled to my phone and dialed 911
I could barely here the woman`s voice “I just took pills with alcohol help me please”
Then everything went black.
I woke up to bright lights and voices yelling “she`s waking up! But we have to get her to the ER”
I felt like I was gonna get sick, and I felt extremely weak
“I need to go with them!” someone yelled I looked back and it was Erik!
I was defalently dying because Erik died 3years ago.
The pushed my bed to the elevator that’s when the pain got worse and i felt numb,
“she`s crashing we have to do something now!” that’s all I heard before I blacked out again.
...........................
They had me on the table doing what they could to save my life when the heart monitor went steady,
My spirit left my body and I saw everything from above. Finally it was all over no more pain no more loneliness.
Then to my dismay my heart started to beat again and I was sucked back into my body. Dammit! ................

Erick was holding my hand and staring at my monitors, even though he looked half pissed half pained this was still the
Best dream I`ve had in years.

Then he stood up and moved closer when he noticed me looking.
He stared at me for almost 2minutes like he was waiting for me to speak. “Are you awake?”
His voice was like sweet acid through my body, it seemed so real.
“well since this is a dream im asleep” even in a dream that sounded lame.
He smiled “this isn’t a dream” yea right. “if this isn’t a dream then im dead”
He flinched when I said that, then anger flashed across his face “speaking of dead why the hell would you try and kill yourself!”

“because there`s no point in living, my parents are always away on business and your dead and im always alone,
So I didn`t see the point”
"The point is im not dead your not alone and your not leaving this earth for a long time” im so confused.
“this has to be a dream or im going nuts because you died 3years ago I saw it”
I remembered that man stabbing him then me passing out and the endless pain after.
“No, what you saw was me becoming a vampire” did I hear him right?
“Then why did he stab you?” I was really going along with this!
“Because he was a sadistic monster”
“ok so if you’re a “vampire” then were have you been the past 3years?” he
rolled his eyes when I put quotations around vampire.
He sighed “ive been trying to get myself under enough control to see you again, but
I was so scared that I would hurt you and ive been battling with myself for years, but I blame myself
For your pain all these years” he looked like he was breaking at the seams.
“I forgive you” his eyes snapped up to mine in surprise “but I put you through hell!”
“yea…but I don’t want to feel like that anymore so the first step is forgiving you.
~2days later~
…………………………………
“you don’t have to do this” he insisted on driving me home and babysitting me since my parents are never
home. “Oh, but I do, I broke my promise that I would never leave you, I hurt you and im going to try and fix it”
he smiled, I frowned “by treating me like a baby who cant do anything myself?”
“well to my knowledge babys aren’t on suicide watch” my mouth fell open
“wow don’t you think it’s a bit early to make jokes about that?”
He looked over at me like he was gonna cry “im so sorry I shouldn’t have said that”
I sighed “its ok im the one who did it” he stayed silent. Its so weird that im not freaking
Out that hes actually here with me its probably the meds they gave me before I
left the hospital.

..............................
we got back to my house,he still parked
on the street even though theres a driveway.
"why do you do that?"he looked at me confused
"do what?"
"park on the street theres a perfectly good driveway"he smiled and it made my heart skip a beat,"i like to be different"weirdo.
he looked at me like i said it out loud,
did i? all of a suddden he got this devilish look in his eyes
"what ever your thinking no" he jumped out of the car and was opening my door and lifting me out
before i could refuse.
"PUT ME DOWN" he laughed
"nope" i screamed and fought with him
even though it was completely pointless.
we got in the house and we just stood
there, well he stood i was still
in his arms. "uh i can walk"
"oh yea" he finally put me down,
he just looked around "whats wrong?"
"i havent been here in forever its
kinda weird" i looked at him and smiled
"well nothing has changed much, Jeremy
is still here" he laughed. Jeremy
is a ghost that we thought we
saw when we were 10 and we named him
and we would run through the house
with sheets on our heads thinking we could join
him and his ghost friends."gosh we were
so funny what 10year old kids wanna be ghost?!?" he looked so exasperated "only
the weird ones" he smiled at me then
got silent again, i kinda didnt wanna
bring it up but i wanted to know what happened
that night i thought he died "uhh soo how did
all this happen?" yea great way to start.
"how did all of what happen?" i took a deep breath
and let it out "you becoming a vampire
and all of that" he looked at me for a long
time then grabbed my hand and took me to the
front room and sat down on the couch. we stayed
silent for the millionth time,"i know that its probably hard for you to talk about but if we sit in silence one more time im gonna go nuts!"
he smiled halfheartedly and sighed "i guess
ill start with the day it happend" "do you remember we were walking to my house that night?" i nodded, and he continued "as we were walking i could feel eyes on me, but i just tried to ignore it, i really shouldn't have."
"Is that why you kept looking over your shoulder?"
"Yea i just felt really paranoid" I sat in silence because i knew what happened next.
"Then i felt a tap on my shoulder, i turned and saw a dark figure with bright red eyes, then i felt his knife sink into my stomach." he looked at me sadly "I remember you screaming and passing out, and even though i was in pain i had to get to you...i tried but the guy grabbed me and said "im going to ruin your life like mine was ruined"
"why would he say that you didnt do anything to him!" i was so astonished "I thought the same thing but i later found out he lost the one he loved when he was turned so when he saw us together walking he got mad and ruined my life as he said" he looked so sad and i know nthere was more but i wasnt going to make him talk about it now.
"umm so you hungry or anything? his eyes widened. what? ohhh i laughed "uh whats funny" he asked with a very confused face "i just asked if you were hungry and i forgot you dont eat...well nothing i have you can eat.. besides the obvious"
'whats the obvious?"
really? "blood numb nuts" i rolled my eyes
He frowned "oh" well this is awkward THE GAME! he jumped and looked at me wide eyed like i was crazy "what?" "THE GAME! YOU JUST LOST!" i smiled and walked over to a cupboard and opened it hmmm what should i get? ooooh! pop tarts AWESOME! and there chocolate just amazing. i went and sat down and started to eat and Eric was starring at me so i stared back. I admired his almost black messy but neat at the same (if that makes sense) time hair, his amazing grey eyes his strait nose and full lips. I was surprised by the urge to kiss him, i blushed and he raised his eyebrows it just made me blush harder.

ERIC
THE GAME! YOU JUST LOST! she smiled and went to the cupboard. shes so weird but oh well i love her, she came back to the table with a pop tart and began to eat i just starred at her shes so beautiful. i love her long black hair that hung all the way to her waist and her bright emerald green eyes then my eyes dropped down to her lips, i miss those lips so much i was lost in my own mind when i noticed her blushing hmm should i? i should i pushed into her mind oh! shes thinking about kissing me i smiled at least were on the same page.

EMILY
Why is he smiling? im starting to feel self-conscious with all this starring so i jumped up. "uh i need some milk" i walked over to the fridge and got the milk and poured it in a glass, i took little sips Eric walked over to me and grabbed my glass and sat it on the counter i was leaning on "I've missed you so much" he touched my hair as he said this "me to" my voice was a little shaky at how close he was. his hand traveled down were he was touching mt face "I've missed your smile... your laugh...your kisses " his voice lowered at the end and he touched my lips my mind went wild. He started leaning in then his lips touched mine and it was like a explosion in my body his lips were so soft and genital against mine he licked my bottom lip and i opened my mouth eagerly our tongues met and i swear i never felt this way over just a kiss! my hands were in his hair his hands were gripping my waist pulling me closer i wanted him so bad this just felt so rite, then abruptly he pulled away and was across the room so fast i barely noticed i was trying to catch my breath when i looked over at Eric and gasped his eyes were black.
oh shit!

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Tag der Veröffentlichung: 17.05.2011

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