Jonny was feeling tired. There exists a thing called burn-out, and he was afraid to have it. It was three months ago, when he released his first book and he already felt like all his motivation was drained. So he released a book. Great! What did he expect? Although he didn`t want to admit it, he knew, what he had been expecting, it even became half true, his book landed on the New York Times’ Bestseller list, not in first place, but it was written there, right after Nick Hornby’s new novel “Juliet Naked” and he got an awesome internship at NY Arts Magazine as columnist. But it didn’t solve his old problem with his father, who was still too proud to give in and to apologize for not financing Jonny’s flat during his “foolish” literature study. And, of course it did neither bring back his girlfriend, nor did it heal the scar she left on his heart. And again he had tons of work to do, this time with a friendly editor, but still – he wouldn’t be able to keep it up much longer. Additional to that, a lot of journalists rushed in for interviews, which was frustrating (because it actually weren`t the ones from the BIG magazines and newspapers, nor it was someone from television or radio), time-expensive and especially – unavoidable. He would have to work with this people in the future, and he had already worked with some of them, so he couldn’t really afford to be unfriendly. And again: the doorbell rang. Jonny sighed and stood up. Not that he was doing something special at that moment, he simply felt wrecked. Besides of the internship, he was trying to start off a new book, which unfortunately didn’t work out very well. Still, for now he was doing fine, even managed to forget his ex for a while, after he’d been out for coffee with her once. He opened the door a little bit and glanced behind it into a woman’s face that seemed kind of familiar, although he had no idea where from. “Er… Hi”, he said. “Hi”, she responded and smiled so brightly, that he had no choice than to smile too. “So…” he asked, “can I help you?” Her smile suddenly froze: “You don’t remember do you?” His heart sunk. She was beautiful and he obviously knew her, or had to know her. “All right then” she said with a cold voice, “I think I’d better leave.” She wanted to turn away, but he laid his hand on her shoulder: “Don’t be unfair, I was having a nap when you popped in.” he lied, hoping it would keep her from leaving, although he knew how dumb that sounded. “Last time you said, you were dreaming of me…” she whispered sadly, and turned away. Finally Jonny remembered the girl: It was the one he was dating right before he got his book released. When did they hear each other the last time? He couldn’t remember. They’ve been doing pretty well with each other, however, when Jonny got into this bloody business they kind of lost contact. He tried phoning her quite often in the first few weeks, but they just were out of time, as the movie festival in Cannes started at that time, so she had an awful lot of work, while the editor was behaving even more like an asshole after Jonny had made him ridiculous in an interview. Floating in a mix of business, happiness, disappointment and burn-out, Jonny had slowly forgotten to call her and bit by bit they had stopped hearing from each other. Until Jonny caught himself after this flashback, she already was at the elevator. “Wait” he cried “Karen!” She stopped as he shouted her name or maybe because she was still waiting for the elevator, but she threw a look at him. Surprisingly it wasn’t an angry look at all, her eyes were full of tears and of disappointment. Then she was gone and the elevator went down. He started running down the stairs, but wasn’t quick enough, the door just closing behind her, as he came down. “Wait”, he yelled, when he got outside, “How about us talking a bit and maybe having dinner. Yeah, what do you think about going out to dinner tomorrow, at eight maybe, at Paolo’s? I know you love Italian food.” She stopped suddenly, and turned a bit to the left, he thought that he had seen a smile on her face, but then she was going again. Jonny sighed, he had blown it. Again. Now he needed a drink. He entered the bar right next to the house and had quite a few. When he returned into his flat, not drunk, but a little insecure at his feet, he saw a light at the phone blinking: There was a message. All it said was “Yes, I’ll be there.” Jonny grinned. He hadn’t blown it. When Jonny laid down, he was feeling tired, but not at all burned-out.

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Tag der Veröffentlichung: 17.09.2011

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