So many times in our life we hear phrases that tell us that anything is possible, never isn’t a word, and so on and so forth. One of Nike’s phrases is, “Impossible is nothing.” And in the movie, A Cinderella Story, “Anything is possible if you just believe.” All throughout our lives we are told to believe in anything and everything, then we grow up, and we get put in the crazy house for claiming to believe in the tooth fairy or Santa Clause. The only thing that isn’t considered crazy by most of the world is religion. People in general can’t seem to understand how there could be more to life than what we see, than what is right in front of us. And even then, we rarely see that. If you think about it, we usually can find sense in anything that is given to us. Take simple math for example. If we were taught at a young age that one plus one equals one, we could understand that. We could find logic and sense to it. But now that we have been taught what other people have discovered, that one plus one equals two, we couldn’t fathom anything different. We couldn’t live with a green sky instead of blue. However, if we had lived our whole lives with a green sky, we couldn’t understand a blue sky. Things can be whatever which way God chooses, either we accept that and not faint at the thought of fairies or mermaids being real, or we put other people in the crazy house. It’s your choice.

Chapter 1 - Thomas

However, there are places where people believe in things we have never even imagined. Places where people believed in things so much, that they were able to see them with their own eyes. You have to believe before you can see. It all started one day when a boy was supposed to be doing his homework, but wasn’t, as usual. The thing that wasn’t usual about this day was that instead of playing with his friends, he was standing by a brook that wasn’t too far from his house. Anyone walking by and happening to see him would think he was crazy. He was hanging on to a willow branch and leaning as far as he could into the brook. His nose was just inches from the water’s surface. But what was most amazing was what was going on inside the boy’s head. Wonder and excitement were flowing through him like electric sparks. Though no one could tell by how he acted. Other than his strange position, he was completely calm and normal. The wonder came to his mind when he saw something in the water. This item of joy was probably just the sun reflecting off of a stray piece of glass at the floor of the brook. But it amazed him and opened his mind to things he would’ve ignored otherwise.
For about seven years, from the time he was nine to when he turned sixteen, he found these items of joy almost everywhere he went. Even in the trash. Then one day, his best friend told him that he should grow up cause there won’t always be items of joy in life. The boy didn’t take much notice of his friend’s remark, but it still stung him. It seemed to take a little bit of magic out of his daily pleasures. Then it completely died away. He looked everywhere, but he couldn’t find even one item of joy. He had been mentally robbed of reason in life. Without them, life was dull, average, and disappointing. From the time he was seventeen to when he turned twenty-one, one could say that period of time was his own personal Dark Ages. He barely finished high school, and didn’t even make an effort at a college education.
When he turned twenty-two, he was shot by a policeman that was new at his job. He was in the wrong place at the wrong time. And he was mistaken for a criminal that had recently robbed some jewelry stores. So when this new policeman thought he would be famous for capturing the criminal, he acted without thinking. It is so sad when people have to suffer for other people’s mistakes. But one thing that wasn’t as sad was that this boy got to see one more of his items of joy before he died. As the bullet sped through the air towards him, he was amazed at the beauty of how it flew. It made him imagine flying through the sky. And it gave him peace in a way.
When he was found, (he was found because the policeman was too much of a coward to admit his mistake, so he ran away) he was found with a smile on his face. Not a mocking smile or a mean smile, but a peaceful smile and a forgiving smile that if the policeman had seen it, he would have known that this boy felt no anger or resentment toward him.

Chapter 2 - Christie

Sadly, there are people that don’t see these items of joy as easily. Some people can go through their whole lives without seeing one; others don’t see them till they are 50 or 60. This is when they get scared of death and start to appreciate life. But there is another scenario, where someone sees an item of joy early on. However, these people had to go through strange times first, like a young girl, not quite a teen but not considered a child. This was a hard time in her life because she wasn’t sure of a lot of things.
Only people who have experienced it can truly understand what this girl was thinking and experiencing. Lately, her mom seemed to get mad at her for no reason at all. But what she didn’t understand was that she was the one being annoying and irresponsible. From her point of view, she was a perfect angel, and it was her mom that was annoying. It frustrated her more than anything.
Then one day, she must have got up on the right side of the bed, cause she was different. She made her bed and cleaned her room without anyone telling her to do so. And what she found out that day was the benefits of going the extra mile. Not just doing extra chores or more homework, but doing what she had with a good attitude. And it was during that day, that she saw her first item of joy.
She was walking home from the bus stop when on the road she saw a tiny bead. It was clear and sparkling in the sun. Then, to her surprise, a cat came and tried to eat the bead. At first she felt like she should stop the cat, but no words or actions escaped her body. Because the strangest thing was happening, the cat was growing wings. Also, it seemed to get more and more translucent. Then, just when she thought it couldn’t get weirder, the cat flew into the sky and into the sun. First, she thought she had been dreaming. Second, she knew she couldn’t have because amazingly the cat had dropped the bead into her hand as it flew away.
And so there it was, flickering in the sunlight, as if nothing had happened. She wasn’t sure whether or not she should scream. In the end, she decided not to because it was too late. As she walked home she repeated the incident in her mind over and over again. You see, the thing that is different about the boy’s items of joy and the girl’s is that the girl’s items of joy are the ones that put people in the crazy house. So for a while she just lingered in thought. For nights she would lay in bed pondering over what she had seen. Pondering over whether or not she was crazy.
Then one night, just before she was about to fall asleep, she heard a tap on her window. Quietly she crept over to her windowsill and opened it. To her surprise and wonder, she found the cat there, sitting on her roof.
“My name is Amithsera,” it purred. “I have come to ask you a very important question.” Now the girl knew for certain that she hadn’t made up the story, but strangely it wasn’t comforting.
“What?” she finally managed to choke out.
“If you died at this moment, where would you go?”
“Um… How am I supposed to know?” she asked.
“True, you humans never know anything. Well, I guess there’s only one thing to do.”
And that was the end, the girl as we know her was gone, vanished into thin air, never to be seen again by any human. However, the story isn’t about the people on earth, but rather the girl, and what she saw and came to know. If someone had been walking past her window as she vanished, they probably wouldn’t have seen anything because it was so dark. However, on this night, it was rather light because it was a full moon. And let’s just say that someone did walk past her window. Or perhaps, floated past, which is the situation that she was in at the moment.
“Will you hurry up?” growled a rather impatient voice.
“I’m coming, I just have a new arrival,” said her flying, killing, cat friend.
“Oh no you didn’t,” the strange voice replied. “Arazith is going to kill you.”
“Well, isn’t that kind of hard for him to do?” And instantly they were laughing. However, the “new arrival” didn’t quite understand what was so funny. She also didn’t understand why they were being so loud.
Someone is bound to hear them sooner or later, she thought. It’s the middle of the night!
One of the many things that she didn’t know was that these people or animals were in fact, ghosts and no one could hear them. The only reason she could hear Amithsera was because he had let her hear him. Another thing that she didn’t know was that the strange voice was a boy, in his early twenties, who had recently died because of a misunderstanding. This boy was also the boy who saw shiny objects, or “items of joy” at the bottom of lakes and his name was Thomas. Now, all she had was time. Time to live and take people from one phase of life to the other. Time was really all there was left for her. After she figured out who these ghosts were and where she was and why she was, she realized that her life alive and her life dead were almost the same. The only difference was that in the second one, she wasn’t confused or frustrated.
But it was strange, it wasn’t right, there was something going on that shouldn’t. Or someone was stopping something from going on that should. Whatever it was, it scared her. She was being dragged. It was like she could feel the pavement underneath her limp body even though she was in the clouds. Then Amithsera was running, or floating at high speeds, towards her.
“Stop!” screamed the cat.
“Why? She doesn’t belong here and you know that. She should be up,” said Thomas.
“But, we need her.”
“You can’t have her.” And then there she was, in a place flooded with light. But it was cold light, a light that belonged in a hospital.
“Hold on,” said that same voice that had dragged her the night before.
“To what?” the girl asked.
“To the light.” And then she felt the light surround her and flow through her. She didn’t have to hold on to the light, the light was holding on to her. It was squeezing her muscles back to life. And it was reviving her. It was turning her into something she had only read about in books, a spirit. Then the light let go. She could fly now like Amithsera but better, faster. It was like she was in deep water, completely weightless. But she could move like one couldn’t possibly move in water. She could run. She was running and not growing tired.
Then she woke up, she was sitting up in her bed on a Sunday morning.
“You did the right thing,” said Thomas.
“I know, but I’ll miss her. Besides, she was having so much fun being a spirit,” Amithsera wined.
“It wasn’t her time,” he whispered back.
“Who’s there,” cried the girl. Then there was silence, absolute silence. She then realized that everything that had happened wasn’t supposed to happen. But she was okay with not being a spirit. She now had her whole life ahead of her and she was going to make it worthwhile.
“Good morning mom!” she called.
“Good morning Christie.”
And then she saw it, her second item of joy. One of her mom’s earrings was placed on the kitchen counter and the sun was shinning through the window right on it. As it glistened she was amazed. She was amazed how she had never noticed the intricate pattern that was engraved on the earring. It was as if an angel’s wings had shed a feather. And that feather had fallen on the earring, making its mark on the earring’s surface.
Then, some fifty years later, the girl still saw items of joy. As she grew older the sightings increased. Then, at the age of eighty-seven, she died in her sleep.
“Welcome, we’ve been waiting for you.”

Chapter 3 - Rebecca

“Lie down my baby dear,
Don’t cry don’t shed a tear.
Just dream of the sea,
And of a used to be.
Dream of a place where people are free!”

Some would say that a mother’s last words are comforting and will help you deal with the pain after her death. Other people would say that I was too young when she died and because of that I shouldn’t have to feel pain. But they just don’t understand. When I was four years old my mother was executed because of her faith. She was a Christian, and for some reason unknown to me the government decided that they didn’t want Christians in their country. So they killed her. To my everlasting shame I do not feel pain because of missing her, or wishing she was here on this earth. I feel pain because I am mad at her and God. She didn’t take me with her to wherever she was going and God didn’t save her from torture and death. Her so-called “Christianity” didn’t save her. So why should I become a Christian and believe what she believed, when it abandoned her just when she needed it most?
After she died, I lived with my dad for the longest 6 months of my life. He wouldn’t talk to me at all and never cried or showed any signs of emotion. Then after six months of living with a zombie, my dad killed himself, leaving me in an orphanage. So now, at the age of fourteen, ten years after my life was dramatically changed, I still live in the orphanage. No relatives ever claimed me or even acknowledged that I exist. I plan to go to London, England as soon as I get released from this prison. I want to be rich and free from anyone and everyone, just four more years until I’m eighteen and can leave. I have saved up every penny that I own and I have enough for a plane ticket with some leftover. Then I’ll get a job as a waitress or something and save up enough to go to a good college. But it’s only a dream. Besides, if someone adopts me than all my dreams are ruined. Four more years is all I need…

“Stop! No! You can’t do this! Stop!”
And then I wake up as usual. The dream that I have every night still haunts me. I am back at the place that my mother was hung at. I am screaming but no one can hear me. I try to stop them from hurting her but I’m always too late. By the time I reach her she is dead. I keep hoping that I will stop dreaming that dream but it never goes away. I also keep hoping that when I move out of the town that it all happened in my memories will also go away. But that will never happen. My memories will stay with me forever. And in only two more years I can live with these memories in London…

“Goodbye, we will miss you.”
“I will miss you too,” I reply to my crying friends even though it isn’t completely true. Because I am finally free to live my life somewhere else. I am eighteen and on my way to England.
On the way to the airport I can hardly contain my excitement. I am on my own now.
“Please fasten your seatbelt and remember that there is no smoking on this aircraft. We hope you have a pleasant flight,” says the stewardess into her microphone. My stomach starts to turn as the plane is lifted into the sky. I can hardly breathe.
“We seem to be having some technical difficulties,” says a nervous stewardess. “For your own safety, please put on the life vest that is located under your chair, pull on the strings and it will self-inflate. However, please wait to do this until we are out of the plane. We will be making an emergency landing soon.”
Then I realized what was happening. We were crashing. Frantically I reached under my seat to find my life vest. But it wasn’t there. I tried to call a flight attendant but everyone was panicking so much that she couldn’t hear me over the noise. Then it happened. The plane lurched downwards towards the sea.

“Where am I?” I asked.
“You are in a hospital. You were in a plane crash about a week ago. Do you remember it? Do you know who you are?” asked a strange voice.
“No,” I replied as I began to panic.
“You have lost your memory. It might be permanent but we don’t think so. All of your belongings were lost at sea. However, your name was found in the airline records.”
“What is my name?”
“Rebecca Stone.”
“No, that can’t be my name. I don’t belong here. Take me home,” I whispered.
“I’m afraid we can’t do that.” The doctor replied.
“Please,” I begged.
“You will need to stay in the hospital for another two weeks while you recover. The airline has paid for all of your medical bills and after that you are free to go.”
Then I seemed to fall back into unconsciousness.
“Stop! No! You can’t do this! Stop!”
I was running towards something. Everything was so fuzzy. It was like I was watching everything happen from somewhere else, like it wasn’t me that was running. Then I awoke to the same hospital room. I knew that the dream I had had was important. I couldn’t let myself forget it. Whatever it was had something to do with my past. My past, the only thing I had to call my own.
After the longest week in my new life, I was released. I had no money, no friends, no job, no home, well, except for the hotel the airline had supplied for me, and no memory. All I knew was that I needed to keep going. The doctor had told me to come back to the hospital in 5 days just to see how my memory recovery was coming. Then I saw a sign that said, “Waitress Wanted!” Underneath had a bunch of details like where the restaurant was and how much they would be paying. So I went to see about a job.
“Do you have any experience being a waitress?” asked the manager.
“Well, I’m not sure. I am currently suffering from memory loss,” I replied.
“Ah! That’s not something I hear everyday. Well I’ll tell you what; I’ll give you a trial run of one week. If you do a good job then your hired, if not, your fired.”
“Hired or fired, got it,” I said. And I had the job. I was going to start the very next morning at 6.
That night I dreamt that same dream where I was running, trying to stop something. But I couldn’t figure out what it was that I was trying to stop. It was so frustrating not knowing anything. At least I had a job to focus on. Maybe that would help me remember something, maybe not. The week went by pretty quickly, I got the job, and I saw the doctor. But I didn’t remember anything. Nothing.
Then one day, a man came into the restaurant. He seemed so carefree, so happy. I was curious as to what his secret was. I hurriedly went over to his table to take his order.
“Hello, what can I get you?” I asked, trying to smile.
“Um, I’ll have a BLT,” he said.
“How do you do it?” I wondered aloud.
“Excuse me? How do I do what?”
“I’m sorry. Just, how can you be so happy it seems. I mean life is so confusing. And it seems like you don’t have a care in the world.” And he told me about Christianity, about things that fascinated me. He also told me about how Jesus died for our sins and that we don’t have to be scared about dieing or not knowing your past, in my case. He said that I should come to the church this Sunday. So I did.
That morning I got dressed and out the door in seconds. I didn’t want to be late. I was so excited that maybe, just maybe, this would help me figure out who I was and what my purpose was. Then I entered the church. At the back of the church I saw a statue of a man on a cross. He was dieing. There was blood on his forehead and his head was hanging down on his chest. Then it came to me. I had seen the look on his face before, on my own mother’s face as she was dieing. I remembered. I remembered everything. My whole past was spread out before me. It was like I was reliving my life in fast forward motion. I ran. I ran out of the church and down the street to my motel. I ran into my room and onto my bed. Wishing I had never remembered, I cried myself to sleep.
Life was easier before, when I was ignorant. Then it occurred to me that I had wanted to go to college. Those dreams and that orphanage seemed ages away. But I knew that it was what I should do. So I decided to go to a community college. Maybe a degree could get me a good paying job. After all, what did I have to lose? I signed up, went to a community college for 4 years and got a degree. Then, I met him…

The first time I ever laid eyes on him was as I was walking down the street. He reminded me of the man I had met in the restaurant. Only this man was younger and more handsome. He smiled and said “hi” as we passed. After that I couldn’t get him out of my mind. Something about him gave me slight chills. Then, about a couple days later, I saw him at church (I had decided during college that I wanted to pursue my mother’s faith). Afterwards I went over to him to say hi.
“Hi, didn’t I see you a couple of days ago?” I asked.
“Yes, I think so. Well, hi, I’m Jacob,” he said.
“Rebecca.”
“Nice to meet you. I just came here from California.”
We went to lunch together after that and almost every Sunday after church. I was falling in love with him. After about two years he asked me to marry him. So I did.
Then six months after we were married he died. He was in a car accident. I couldn’t believe that God had done this to me. First he kills my mother, then my father, and now my husband? It didn’t seem fair. It wasn’t fair. Then I got sick. Now I was more furious at God than I had ever been. I was nauseated and just, awful. Eventually it got so bad that I had to go to the doctor.
“Well, I’ve got some very good news,” said the doctor after he had run some tests on me.
“You have medicine?”
“No, you’re pregnant.” He said beaming away.
I felt so bad, for two reasons. The first reason was because I was so sick. And the second was because I had gotten mad at God when he had given me a baby. Sure, I didn’t have any family. But I was about to. God had blessed me with the most precious thing in the world. And even though I had no idea what I was going to do for money I knew that God would help me every step of the way. Also, after a while the nightmares ceased, and I could sleep.

“Lie down my baby dear,
Don’t cry don’t shed a tear.
Just dream of the sea,
And of a used to be.
Dream of a place where people are free!”

Although the words weren’t as true when I sang them to my baby, as they were when my mother sang them to me, I still wanted my baby to know about his grandmother and how brave she was. And I just hope and pray that my baby Jacob Jr. and I will make it through the next day.
That is when I saw my first item of joy. As my baby was taking his first step he smiled. And that smile was amazing beyond description. That smile reminded me of all the good things in my life. It was my first item of joy.
That night a thief broke into my house. He was scared when he realized that I was home. So he killed my baby and I.

Chapter 4 – The Beginning of the End

“Who are you?” I asked, confused, as I looked upon the faces of six strange people.
“I’m Amithsera,” said one.
“I’m Thomas,” said another.
“I’m Christie,” said the third.
“I’m Jacob,” said the fourth.
“I’m your son,” said the fifth.
“I’m your mother,” said the sixth.
And from that moment till forever’s end, I am free; in heaven with the people I love.

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Tag der Veröffentlichung: 07.07.2010

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