She stood in the water tall and proud. Her magnificent size left me in awe. The sheer amazement I was struck with made me tremble, along with a slight breeze in the England air. The Titanic was the creation of the century, the unsinkable ship. And soon, I would be aboard, a witness to the extravagant luxuries that were so well anticipated. I felt the dainty touch of my mother’s frail hand on my shoulder, tearing my gaze from the ship I turned to face her.
“I don’t like this, you know.”
“Mother, please-” I began to protest her unnecessary fretting but she wouldn’t hear of it.
“No, Lucy, I’m quite serious. I don’t like the fact that a young, beautiful girl will be traveling all alone on a ship of that size. It’s dangerous.” She paused slightly before a panicked look set into her blue eyes, the very eyes that were the only trait she had passed down to me. “And when you get to New York. Oh, it’s such a large city, and you must be reasonable Lucy. I have never had anything against your escapes before, you were raised as a strong woman but you are still only twenty. You must face the facts that this is taking things to extremes.” My mother paused to take a breath, knowing that I would have no other chance to get a word in if I didn’t now so I spoke quickly.
“I’ll send word when I reach New York. Mother, please, spare yourself the worry, I will be fine. Tell father that I love him.” I leaned in to give my mother a brief hug and a peck on the cheek before retreating backwards. With a graceful turn I scaled the ramp and onto the Titanic, my journey had begun.
Dinner that night was spectacular. It proved to be as delectable as expected, a sizzling warm ham garnished with greenery that was so fresh it must have been picked that very morning. And the raw elegance of the ship did not stop there. Chandeliers that twinkled with such brightness hung from the ceiling, while each table was covered with a red table cloth made of pure silk. White candles graced each table with their hesitant glow. The trip to my bedroom was an adventure in itself. After scaling the grand staircase I am greeted by a large Grandfather Clock. My room consists of a beautiful bed strewn with pillows that were stitched by one who finds perfection to be the only option. A maghony table sits in the center of the room; two chairs are placed opposite each other. A sofa in the corner tempts me to sit and remove the weight from my sore feet for I have not had a chance to rest all day except for dinner. I force myself to turn away and unpack my bags first.
I spent my following day exploring the wonders of the ship and trying to get accustomed to the rocking. I found myself lucky that I never truly got sick; I saw many cases of others suffering from seasickness. In my day of discovery I found a pool, library and four restaurants. By the end of the day I was tired and sore from walking the immense ship and I found myself slouching at dinner before quickly correcting myself. I was eating with a young woman who was just older than I, she appeared to be around thirty and introduced herself as Miss Caroline. She too was traveling the titanic alone and after talking over dinner we immediately became steadfast friends. I agreed to meet her at noon the next day in the library, and after this we departed ways.
Books. Books lined wall to wall encased me and I had a sudden sense of being far too overwhelmed. I could get lost in a place like this. Before I was able to dwell on this for long Caroline rushed up to me in a frenzy of excitement.
“Oh isn’t it just divine?” She exclaimed. “They must have every book ever written in here. Now, the books go in alphabetical order by the author’s last name. A begins over there.” She pointed to a row with her gloved finger. “Are you a fan of Shakespeare?” She questioned, but continued on before I was able to reply. “I find him to have a certain power and style of writing that many writers are yet to master. Come, his books are this way.” Caroline led me deep into the forest of words.
Hours later we were both deeply engaged in our books, enjoying them in front of an astoundingly large fireplace. Caroline had insisted that I read A Midsummer Night’s Dream, so I had recommended that she read War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy. She had happily obliged, grateful for a book that she had never read before.
The next day was April 13. Caroline and I enjoyed the pool most of the day before resuming our books that we had gotten the day before. Feeling relaxed and renewed I stayed up later than I had the previous nights, but after dancing and enjoying a glass of champagne I found that I was more than ready for bed. I bid goodnight to Caroline and the young man that she had met earlier at dinner, after which I retired to my room.
The following day was April 14. I awoke around eight, as I had the previous mornings. I readied myself for the day as I had the previous morning before going to breakfast. I ate slowly, savoring the salty bacon. Proceeding breakfast I returned my room to fetch A Midsummer Night’s Dream, and I ended up sitting down on the sofa just to read it in my room when I heard an urgent knock at the door. Smoothing my dress I pulled the door open. An ecstatic Caroline rushed in. “Lucy! You will never believe it! You remember the man I met last night at dinner, right? Well, after you left we went dancing, and of course I only thought we would dance a few dances before parting ways, but it did not happen! We danced all night long, and when the ballroom finally closed we went up on deck! I was terribly cold but John lent me his jacket. We stayed up on deck watching the stars for hour upon merciful hour. We talked, I told him things that I hadn’t told anyone. We stayed there until the break of dawn! Then, right before I said good-bye he called me back. He asked me to get off the ship with him in New York! Oh Lucy, he told me he loved me!” Winded from her rapid and long explanation Caroline sat down, as for me, I stared at her, astounded. Finally, words came.
“Are you going to? Do you love him too?” Caroline remained seated on my sofa, flushed and with deep lines in her forehead as she thought. I stood and she sat through many minutes of silence. Taking a deep breath she arose.
“Yes.” With that she exited my room.
The rest of my day continued as normal, though I found myself lonely without Caroline’s easy presence. Despite this I had no resentment for her abandoning me, I knew she was on the boat with John somewhere, probably discussing their life plans. Dinner came and went, i checked the ballroom afterwards in hopes of seeing Caroline, of asking her how things were going but she was nowhere to be seen. Retreating to my room I climbed into my nightgown, feeling it’s soft silkiness glide over my pale skin.
Hours later I was still unable to find sleep, I glanced at my clock. Eleven-twenty it read. Realizing that sleep would come no sooner than it had the past few hours I climbed out of bed. Slipping on my slippers and leaving my room and began to make my way to the sky deck, Caroline had mentioned how beautiful the stars were. Remembering her warn of the frigidness of the night I returned to the room to retrieve a thick sweater.
It was 11:30 by the time I reached the deck, and the view was just as spectacular as Caroline had said. The stars shone like candles in the night, the radiated their power and might. The thought never ceased to amaze me, millions of miles away and they still decorated the sky with grace and elegance. The silence of the night was broken as I heard the watchman in the Bird’s Nest above being yelling something that at first was indecipherable. Then I was able to make out the words that he was screaming over and over into a receiver. “Iceberg, dead ahead! Iceberg! Iceberg! Stop the ship!” I turned to the bow of the boat, facing the black water that stretched out before me. A white protrusion broke the water’s surface, and I knew that this was what the man was screaming about. Immediately I felt the ship’s motors kick in as they attempted to propel the ship in reverse, but we had been traveling at a rapid pace and I knew we wouldn’t able to stop the ship in time, or turn an get far enough around the large mass of ice that loomed before us, much closer than it had been ten seconds ago.
I began walking slowly, in a daze-like state towards the bow of the ship, craning my deck for a better look as to what was lying in wait in the darkness. Then someone grabbed my arm. I spun around to see a young man in uniform, a sailor, gently pulling me away. “Madam, you need to go inside now please.” Hesitated, causing his grip to tighten even more and his pull increase to a stronger intensity. “Now.” I snuck one last glance at the ice mountain only yards away. Grasping my dress in my hands so I would not trip I ran for the nearest open door way.
I entered just as we struck the iceberg. The entire ship trembled and shook with fury as metal and ice collided. I watched as ice broke and flooded the deck, striking one of the people who hadn’t chosen to seek cover. After a few seconds the impact had ended, but we were still beside the iceberg that stood hundreds of feet above the ship. Immediately doors opened behind me and people rushed out into the halls, screaming questions of what had happened. I turned slowly and spoke the elderly man behind me. “We’ve struck an iceberg,” I informed her. She paused a moment before relaxing.
“Oh. Well, an iceberg can do much harm to the Titanic, no indeed. We shall be fine.” She had just finished speaking when a voice was projected through the announcing system.
“This is Captain . We have struck an iceberg and the damaged areas of the ship are being sealed. We ask that you all locate the lifejackets nearest you and put them on. The most important thing to do right now is stay calm. Thank you.” The voice clicked off and there was a moment of hesitation before people began moving in all directions, each person in the room certain of where the nearest life jackets could be found. I heard one woman raise the question that the Titanic could sink; she was quickly reprimanded for thinking such silly thoughts.
It took me almost awhile minutes to finally find and secure myself into a life jacket. Crowds had flocked to every possible place where lifejackets could be found. Thirty minutes had passed and word had not been received as to what was happening in the heart of this giant ship, as I walked through the crowds more and more people began to question the Titanic’s fate. As I got off the decks and back inside the ship away from the bitter cold I racked my mind for the memory of where the captain slept, I recalled that I had passed the area on my first day of exploration. I wandered the halls for some time before coming to a familiar place. Try as I might, I failed to find the captain and eventually settled for a man in high-class clothing, a man of great status aboard the ship. The navigator or architect perhaps, I shall never know.
“Excuse me, sir.” I approached him strongly, I would refuse to be brushed away without my questions answered.
“I don’t have the time miss, you’re blocking my way.” I held my ground, staring the man in the eyes.
“I would suggest you make time then, sir. What is happening?” The man attempted to sidestep around me. I stepped with him, knowing that I was passing the acceptable boundaries of a woman, even one of my class. The look on his face began to show his anger and frustration, but he still spoke coolly.
“I would recommend that you go back to the decks and board a lifeboat. The Titanic will sink.” This time he moved around me I did not try to stop him. I stood frozen, heart beating, blood pounding, mouth agape. It took me many moments before I found the power to move, and I began rushing back towards the decks, recalling the fact that there were not nearly enough life boats for the amount of people aboard the ship.
The frantic frenzy had already begun of trying to board the twenty life boats that the ship held. First class people and woman and children were the top priorities of people to save. I watched as husbands and other family members kissed their wives and children good-bye before shoving them towards a boat. I paused a moment, listening. The wistful tune of a violin reached me on the night’s black wind. My eyes scanned each boat, I realized that all of the boats near me were full and beginning to descend towards the black water. I pushed through the massive crowd, desperately searching for a lifeboat with room but I came to none. I jumped when the clock struck two, astounded that so much time had passed. I stood still, observing the mass chaos around me as though I was a ghost. People pushed around me, I remained invisible to their uncaring eyes, but it wasn’t as though I cared much about them, either. I was still young, it couldn’t possibly be my fate to die on this cold, horrid night. I became aware of the fact that the boat was no longer level, it was tipping slightly. I had to force myself to think about the areas of the ship filled with this bitter water, sealed to keep it, and the lifeless people in now contained, from escaping.
Eventually I reached the end of the deck, and the devastating realization came upon me. All the lifeboats were full, and help was too far away. I would sink with the ship.
No, it couldn’t be so, and I mustn’t allow myself to accept such tragic fate. I had promised my mother I would be fine, I told her not to worry. I would escape the ocean’s fierce grasp. More time had passed, I had been foolish, allowing such a thing to happen. I would need all the time I could get if I wanted to survive the Titanic’s death. The tilt of the ship was more severe now, much more severe. I racked my brain, thinking of a way to safely escape the ship, there was none. I looked over the railing, sickened at how much closer the water was already. All the lifeboats were floating, rowing away. Suddenly the ship began to tip even more than it had, people stumbled and began falling down, smashing into railings and other scrambling people. I clung to the railing with all my strength as the boat reached a near vertical angle. Then there was a deafening roar. I looked below me just in time to see the ship split in to two. Then I was thrown forward as my end of the ship began to rapidly plunge towards a cold and black death.
I clung to the railing until the last possible second before pushing myself away from the ship. I struck the water feet first. Nothing could have prepared me for the cold. I screamed under the water, but it entered my mouth with a burning sensation. My body felt as though thousands of knives had been plunged through my skin. And suddenly, I wanted to die. I wanted to escape the pain. But even as I thought this I was swimming upwards, resisting the currents of the ship behind me sinking to the ocean floor. I broke the water’s surface, and my panting breath froze in the air. I shivered uncontrollably. I watched the lights on the Titanic flicker before going out entirely, leaving me in darkness. My life jacket kept my afloat, but drowning wasn’t my concern. Soon I would be as frozen and lifeless as the bodies around me. Debris floated in the water but I found that I was unable to find the strength to pull myself up and out of the water. Though I had been agonizingly pulling myself through with my arms because my legs had long since lost motion I now stopped and was only kept afloat by my lifejacket. My arms burned as though they were on fire, but I knew that my blood flow was slowing, as was my heart, as was my mind.
I looked up at the stars, they shown like candles in the brilliant night sky. Taking one more deep, shaky, breath I closed my eyes. A small tear slipped from my eyes but it froze before having a chance to become one with the ocean.


Looking down, hundreds of bodies floated in the water, mine included. The Titanic was no longer visible, it had long since disappeared, vanishing into the water’s dark, cold night. Many others were with me, but we were all silent. No one had anything to say.
The Titanic had sunk, and it took us with it.

Impressum

Tag der Veröffentlichung: 18.05.2012

Alle Rechte vorbehalten