INTRODUCTION
Dedicated to God, my caring father of Heaven, next to whom life turns into paradise.
Dedicated to all people who live and will live on our planet Earth.
We look up at the sky because we think that God is watching us somewhere, because there is the Universe, there is something that has not been completely solved. But anything can come from space, every day, every hour. None of us turns our gaze down to our feet and believes that God is hiding somewhere in the depths of the Earth's core.
We visit holy places where we can venerate the images of the deity, and we simply sincerely believe in their help. We have servants of God who are preaching the faith all over the world. Usually we accept the faith in which family and environment we are born, so we can assume that faith is already determined before us. If the parents of a child do not believe in God and did not lead him to God, then there is a high probability that when the child grows up, the same thing will happen to him, that is, he will leave God without realizing the loss.
With my book I want to call you to God! And no matter how loud it sounds, it should sound exactly like that. I want to tell you about God, turn your eyes to His works and live in harmony with Him in order to be happy, loved and always in an elevated state of soul. Who is He who hides so securely from us, but at the same time loves us so? Who do we worship and pray to, whom do we hope for, on whom does the fate of the whole world depend? Who gave us the cross and helps us carry it all our lives? Who is watching us, looking after us?
It's all God.
BORN WITH GOD
I was born into a Christian family. Going back to my childhood, I clearly remember the paradise in which I was next to God. Of course, in my family there were very kind native people who knew how to love, and, perhaps, their love brought me even closer to God. I will say right away that there were icons in our house, and I always looked at their images with tenderness.
My parents had a simple attitude towards God at first, and I asked for my baptism from them with difficulty. They were young and did not understand how important this was, so they baptized me only at the age of five. But my older sister Katya often resorted to prayers, and especially during a thunderstorm, when she asked God to have mercy on us. But where did such a deep faith and desire to be with God come from in my sister and me?
For a long time I thought that it all started with the Bible that our parents bought us. When we woke up early in the morning with my sister, and there were a lot of books on the bookcase next to the bed, then of all we chose only the Bible. I was three years old, I still could not read, so I asked my sister about it, and I lay down on her shoulder and listened, looking at the illustrations in the Bible. Reading the Bible was our favorite pastime. We did not know the material difficulties that the world predicted. We did not see what was happening in the world and how evil it can be. We lived in our own world, where there was love and grace, where there was God. Birth in a small city with endless fields, forests, depths of heaven, bright stars contributed to the maximum acceptance of the gifts of nature, love, an elevated state of mind and all the blessings that God created for people.
But later I realized that everything did not start with the Bible. It only talks about God and the creation of the world, but is not a summary of lectures on how to love Him. When I came to this world, I saw it as real, not hidden under the curtain of the material world, evil, prejudice. There was a God, and He was everywhere. Have you heard that children are good at feeling people? Yes, it was exactly like that. I did not know their professions, families, interests, bank deposits, but one glance was enough to not doubt the personal qualities of a person. It was almost impossible to make a mistake, I felt the souls of people. But every year these abilities gradually disappeared, because life in the modern world also predicted other knowledge about a person with questions: “Why is he like that? What happened to him? Perhaps he will change?
How beautiful nature was in childhood! Can you remember? I could sit for hours and watch how the trees stand in silence, how they wait for the wind, and when they wait, they sing blessedly: “God is near, God is here, God is with us.” I was in no hurry – kindergarten, school, college, work – everything was ahead! I had enough time to enjoy the moments and spend minutes of my life studying a leaf that had fallen from a tree. I saw a flowering field in a completely different way: endless expanses and the dominance of God in every blade of grass, in every flower, just in the sky, simply because God exists. I enjoyed the world that God created. I understood that He gave me life, He is near, He is everywhere –in the bends of trees, in the smell of linden, in grandmother's kind hands, in mother's kisses, in father's eyes, in grandfather's praises, and in the fact that my sister is nearby. I didn’t need anything: no clothes, no shoes, I just lived with God.
The problems and tears of a loved one were incomprehensible to me, because there was an intercessor nearby – God. I felt His strength, power and realized that my whole life was in His hands. I did not want to rush time and part with Him, despite the fact that I knew that He would be with me for eternity. Time passed slowly, because I was in the enjoyment of the world around me and did not occupy myself with the sciences. I just sat, just watched the world. I did not dream of great goals and achievements, of beautiful cars, mansions and yachts. The beauty of the great was in the small.
To be born healthy and live life like this, staying longer in the world, enjoying the surroundings – this is the main thing in life. We come into the world for a small moment, and after us there will be an infinite number of destinies and people. All that matters is to bring good to the world and leave a contribution for the future of the Earth. When I was a child, I clearly understood that in order to go down in history and serve people, it is not at all necessary to have money. The whole world was open before me, and I believed that everything is possible, because God is with me.
What was the clean water in the river, I didn’t think about leeches at all, because God created them, and everything that He created is His will. When the water played in the sun, it seemed to me that it was with endless edges and depths. The rivers were fed by rains, and trembled from them. The sky gave the river new life. The sky generally gave life to everything that surrounded me, and my day completely depended on it. I was very worried when I heard from my relatives that a comet could fly from outer space and destroy the world. I wanted to enjoy the world, and for future generations of people to see the great beauty of the world.
I didn't watch much TV, there was no God in it. It showed simulated love, problems, quarrels, partings, and I understood that where God is, there is eternal love, goodness and serenity. My morning always began with acceptance of the world, with being close to God, and the evening ended with the enjoyment of darkness, cool air and distant stars. How beautiful was the moon, shining brighter than the sun through our window. I didn’t worry about not having anything to eat, and I didn’t try to satisfy my needs according to Maslow ’s pyramid. I grew up a happy child, living my childhood with love for God.
How beautiful was the flight of butterflies, and not just a flight, but a thousand strokes of silky wings. As the birds sang divinely, the jackdaws clamored. On autumn evenings, my sister and I liked to climb onto the roof of the house, eat red mountain ash and look at the sky. And every time a flock of birds flew over us, we thought – how beautiful, one more day, one more hour we are here. I loved my sister unconditionally. She was every cell of her own, she was there, and it seemed forever. My sister listened to my childhood stories, and I didn’t even understand that I was younger than her, it seemed to me that I knew exactly as much as she knew. Her simple words: "I love you, let's go" were the most valuable words, and her hands seemed reliable.
My grandmother and I milked a cow and a goat together. My grandmother did not want me to do housework at all. I was only three or four years old, but I wanted to understand everything, to know everything – everything that God created. Grandma always wanted to share her experience, and what a pity that we are here so temporarily. In childhood, the love of grandfather was felt in a special way. It was enough great love in his eyes, and I believed in my strength, believed that everything would work out for me. God was everywhere, and I was surrounded by goodness, peace and grace. I was lucky to be born in a family with great love – this is the highest of the riches of the world. In our family, everyone loved the other with the great love of the Lord.
As children, we drank the dew from the leaf, because everything that God created was holy. At home, in such love, the song of the Cherubim could be heard an infinite number of times. The frosty winter morning was charming because it made it possible to realize the love of God, and the rays of the sun, falling on the snow and being refracted, helped to see the care of the Creator. He took great care of us and gave us everything so that every person on earth would live a happy life. No gifts and toys of my parents could bring me to such an exalted state of mind as the onset of spring, when streams murmured in ravines, fields melted, birds fluttered, all living things awakened, and the air was saturated with the joy of life.
My first steps, my first study of the world began with love for God. When dad and my adult friends taught me to ride a bike, rollerblade, skate, I knew that everything would work out, not because it was easy to learn, but because God himself believed in me. The first steep slopes, from which I skied with my dad, I remember for the rest of my life. How happy I was then, and dad shouted to me: “Go ahead, you can do it, everything will work out,” and the joy of God was heard: “Well done, you are on the right track!” When my mother taught me to bake cakes, pies, especially before Easter, I did not think that there were more interesting activities than gratitude and reverence for God. Since I did not like mechanical work, I created my own pies, in shape and taste, which I considered necessary. Mom gave me a piece of dough for this and did not scold me for seeing everything from my own perspective.
Friends is a big word that can be learned in sincere childhood friendship. Then I didn’t even know that it could be different. We had a company where each child treated the other with great understanding. However, when I met a girl from a neighboring yard, and she stole my toys from me, then all the stereotypes about great friendship were quickly erased into dust. I don’t know why, but my mother didn’t like my strong-willed personality, and she tried in every possible way to tie me to the behavior of a mass of children so that I acted like everyone else. I lived with God and felt His displeasure at the moment of renunciation of my individuality. When the people around me were dissatisfied with me in every possible way, I was with God, I was strong and independent of other people's opinions.
I remember how I ran up to my grandmother, who was sitting with her friend and shouted: “Baba, baba, look!” I so wanted to be with her, to share what I saw, but her friend slapped me in the face and threatened: “Don’t interrupt when adults are talking!” I didn’t feel guilty, I just looked at her and thought: “This aunt does not understand what she is doing.” Such acts taught me how to protect and control my actions, no matter how much I wanted to. I felt the wrath of God when I flew in for pranks. But He was angry not with me, but with the fact that His child is not valued and they do not want to explain how to act, that His child is beaten for the sake of losing the child's ability to be the way He wants to see him. My thoughts during the spanking were desperate: “Here I will be gone, there will be no one to beat, there will be no one to punish.” I didn’t think: “I’ll grow up and take revenge,” I didn’t want to respond to evil with evil and tried to explain to adults that while we live, while our hearts are full of goodness, is it really worth beating a child because he simply refused to eat today! ?
But still, how much happiness was in childhood, and we did not think – why? Today, many answer: “Because childhood is a carefree time”! But is it? Don't we have problems, responsibilities in childhood? All the difficulties and problems of this world exist both in childhood and in adulthood, so nothing depends on age. Do you know why I say this? Indeed, since early childhood, I worked a lot around the house: I washed clothes, helped my grandfather in construction, dad painted the fence, in fact, I did everything that adults do – I was responsible for myself. My works brought me joy because I walked with God. Many parents spoil their children and think that children are small and unintelligent. Looking back, I was the same adult as I am today. And in early childhood, in my brain not yet clogged with information, I knew everything about the world. Yes, I asked my mother the meanings of words and the names of things, but I did not ask: “Where is He, God?”
I never felt protected by my relatives, because I understood that they are the same dust particles of this world as I am. I have always relied on God, remembering to act according to His laws. What were these laws? They were hidden deep in my soul, in love for God, when my heart and thoughts were pure and kind. I wanted to be with my family more, to gather at the same table with them more often. I understood that life is fleeting, and my family is the most important thing on my way. This is how God created us. Everything around seemed unnecessary when there was no God around. Crying, laughing and enjoying life was possible only with God. I knew that God is invincible. I don't know how I knew this, I just knew, and let's stop there.
When we were still very young with friends, we did not look for chains and shackles, and there was no laziness in us. We climbed the basements of entrances, climbed the roofs of five-story buildings. There were no restrictions for us. We studied the world around us and realized that life is a moment, and ten years mean nothing. We did not understand why there is evil in the world and why there are evil children. We lured everyone to the side of good, allowing the bad guys to change. We were friends with a boy who was from a bandit family, he grew up like his parents, but next to us he became kind. Bright thoughts made our company kind and friendly. We quickly mastered what we wanted to learn. We were a team that developed with God. One of our friends did not have parents, but we gave her warmth from God in every possible way, and she blossomed from him. How much pain they had from the lack of parental attention, the caress of their own hands. We inspired the gangster boy and girl to new achievements, helped to stay with God, but when they grew up, they still moved away from God.
DESIRE TO LOVE GOD
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Impressum
Verlag: BookRix GmbH & Co. KG
Tag der Veröffentlichung: 12.05.2022
ISBN: 978-3-7554-1361-5
Alle Rechte vorbehalten
Widmung:
Never give up! It is more difficult to leave and leave the world as one moment that was not worth a life. Be yourself, for this is how God created you, and He will go with you in real life. Do not go against His will, go with Him, He knows all that is best for you. Do not cry for a long time, smile that you live. But don't forget to cry, don't be marble, as you will be seen on the tombstone. Smile more, so you accept the world as it is, and God will bless you. Don't look for answers, they just don't exist. There are an infinity of questions. Do not betray another, for it is meaningless. Be above sins, this is how God created you.