CHAPTER 1: LOUISA

I sat inside the car, staring up at the house in front of me. I sighed heavily. What am I doing here? Why should I come back after been away for eight miserable years? I pressed my cheeks against the cool glass, watching the rain beating hard on the windshield. By coming back here, I knew I stirred up old memories that should stay buried and be forgotten for good. My fragile heart was beginning to break again. I fought back tears as I gripped the steering wheel hard. I knew I must fight this. I wasn't the same weak Louisa Stanley that left Oil Town eight years ago. I am a stronger thirty three years old woman now. I could face this. I would survive this pain with my head held high.

Reluctantly, I opened the door and got out. I popped open the trunk to retrieve my suitcases. I unlocked the front door and stepped inside. The fully furnished house was clean, thanks to my dear Aunt Doris. I put my suitcases inside the master bedroom that used to belong to my parents. I opened all the windows to let the stuffy air out. Then I sat on the sofa, watching the rain. Across the lawn, I saw a white house with its beautiful wraparound porch. Joey Philip's face invaded my mind. Joey was three months older than me and had been my friend since birth. Our parents were good friends and his five younger siblings were close with me and my two younger sisters. My cousins who live nearby were our circle of friends and we went to the same school.

When we're fifteen, Joey gave me a letter one day. "Don't read it now. Read it at home and I'll give you time to think it over," he said. I was confused and curious at the same time but I did as he wanted anyway. I went straight to my room when I came back from school. I flung my backpack onto the bed and tore open the letter.

Louisa,

How do I start? It's been so long I find it difficult to tell you what my heart wanted to say to you for years. We've been friends since birth and spend a lot of times together.

The thing is, this stupid heart of mine wanted your love. Some people call it a crush, but my heart knows better. I'm in love with my childhood friend. You. I've loved you since we're twelve.

I'm afraid of what you might think of me but I decided to take the risks anyway. I just wanted you to know that I love you but I won't force you to love me back. If you want us to stay friends, I'll  gladly be your friend for eternity.

Joey.

I reread the letter for couple of times, trying hard to convince myself this wasn't one of his jokes. Then I sat on the bed and folded back the letter. I stared at the photo frame on the night stand. Joey's grinning face stared back at me. Did he mean what he said in the letter?

I walked slowly along the school hallway toward my class. "Hey Louisa!" a cheerful voice greeted me and I felt a hand landed on my right shoulder. I looked up. Joey grinned and mussed my long hair. I frowned. "Is this the way you treated a girl you said you're in love with?" His grin faded and his handsome face turned red. He shoved his hands into the pockets of his green pants. "Um...about that...well..." he stammered. That's weird. Joey Philip stammered? I smiled, clearly enjoying his discomforts. "Hell Louisa! Don't smile like that. You're making me nervous," he scowled. I grabbed his arm and pulled him toward our class. "I'll give you my answer later," I promised.

The bell rang and I walked out the door. As I walked along the pavement, a hand grabbed my arm. "Did you forget something?" Joey asked. "What?" I asked in confusion. "You promised me your answer," he replied as he walked beside me. I smiled. "I didn't forget my promise. You'll get your answer in a minute." He stared at his watch impatiently. As we approached my house, I swung around to face him. I stood on tip toe and kissed his cheek. He looked taken aback and stared hard at me. "What's that supposed to mean?" he asked. "That's my answer, Joey Philip," I said with a giggle as I mounted the short steps and opened the front door. I closed the door behind me and leaned against it. I smiled when I heard Joey whooped loudly then, "Yes!"

Our relationship went on strong for ten years when one day everything crumbled. I closed my eyes as tears fall down my cheeks. I opened them again and stared at Joey's troubled face. "How could you do this to me!" I screamed. "What have I done wrong to deserve this punishment from you?" He grabbed my shoulders, half shaking me. "I was drunk! I don't even know whether I really did it or not!" he shouted. I tore myself away from him, my heart was breaking into thousand pieces. "Don't you dare touch me!" I screamed. "You're getting married and your future bride will give birth in a few months. And I thought my love is enough."

"Please don't say that, Louisa. I only love you, no one else."

"Stop it! I don't want to hear it!"

"Don't leave me, Louisa. Please..."

"Goodbye, Joey."

"Louisa!"

 

CHAPTER 2: JOEY

I stood on the porch, watching the yellow house just across the lawn. Night had settled and the house was bathed in lights. I knew Louisa was home. I saw her arrived this afternoon. Eight years went by so slowly and I thought I would never see her again. Her parents moved away after her father retired and her sisters got married. She looked beautiful than I remembered although she seemed to have lost weight. Where had she been for these past eight years? Was she married now? I shuddered at the thought. Just thinking about other men touched her the way I used to touch her made my skin crawl.

What the hell was wrong with me? Did I still have the rights to be jealous knowing that she hated me? I put my hands on the wooden railing and sighed. My life should have been perfect. I planned it carefully and everything went along just fine until one night destroyed it all. My friends Gabriel, Nathan and I went to a local bar that night and once there, we ran into Louisa's cousin, Danielle. She was a hot little thing wearing a sexy red dress and flirting like a whore. A few of Louisa's cousins once told me that Danielle fancied me and was jealous as hell when she found out about my relationship with Louisa.

She kept hanging around our table until we grew iritated. We got up to leave and suddenly my head spun. I staggered forward and felt a pair of hands grabbed me. Seconds later, my world went dark. I woke up the next morning in an unfamiliar room. I looked around in confusion. When I looked beside me, I scrambled off the bed with my heart hammering loudly against my ribcage. Danielle was lying asleep on the bed, totally naked. And for the first time, I realized I was naked too. I grabbed my clothes that scattered on the floor and dressed in record time. Oh God. Did I really slept with Danielle? I dashed out the front door and noticed my car was nowhere in sight. The bitch must have brought me here in her car. I decided to walk to the bar. Fortunately, almost every place in this town was within walking distances. I spotted my car, got inside and headed home.

I thought everything was okay until four months later, Danielle showed up in front of my house, heavily pregnant. She claimed the baby was mine. And Louisa was there to witness the whole thing. My heart broke seeing her tears. "Louisa, listen to me," I started. "No! How could you," she cried and ran toward her house. I ran after her then grabbed her hand. She swung around and slapped me on the cheek hard. I was totally stunned. Right at that moment, my world crumbled all around me. Instead of love, I saw hatred in her eyes. Then one day, she left me and never looked back. She left me with a heart so broken I wasn't sure it could be mended.

As for Danielle, I didn't marry the bitch. If she thinks she could fool me, well she was wrong. I waited until she gave birth, then I persuaded her to agree to a paternity test. She finally admitted that she put sleeping pills in my drinks that night then with the help of a male friend, took me to her house. My two friends weren't even aware of what happened to me. They thought I made it home safe. She told me she had to do it because her boyfriend didn't want to marry her after she told him she was pregnant. "I'm sorry, Joey," she cried. I said nothing. It's hard for me to forgave her after what she put me through. She made me lost the only woman that I love. The results cleared my name and Danielle put her baby up for adoption then left town.

For eight years, my life felt incomplete without Louisa. What people said about first love was true. It was unforgettable and hurt like hell. I dated several women, but she was constantly on my mind every single day. Then I took up drinking so I could forget her even for a while. I could only forget her when I was drunk but once I sobered up, her face came back to haunt me. Then one day, my brother Cain came to the house and broke all the bottles. When I tried to stop him, he punched my face. He grabbed my collar and snarled, "Stop doing this to yourself, Joey!" I shoved his hands away. "She won't be coming back," I wailed miserably. "She hates me!" He glared at me. "Listen, bro. The two of you been loving each other for years. I know she hates you now, but I don't think she's gonna hate you forever. She'll come around one day. Trust me."

I was a sober man now but my heart never mends. It stayed broken. And now she came back. I wasn't sure how my poor heart could cope with all this. I startled when my cell phone rang. I cursed under my breath. "Hello," I said. "Hey, bro! Hope you're still alive and kicking," my twenty nine years old brother, Brad said and I frowned. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I growled. The devil chuckled.

"She's back."

"I know. I'm watching her house right now."

"What? Are you stalking her now?"

"Are you crazy? Why would I stalk her?"

"Just joking. Don't forget about our appointment tomorrow morning."

"I won't. See you at the studio before nine."

"Okay."

I arrived at the studio exactly at 8 am. I opened up the photography studio five years ago with my brothers, Brad and Cain after I quit my job as a graphic designer. Business was great and I had fun working with my brothers. "I heard there's a new wedding planner in town," Brad remarked as he walked into my office with two mugs of coffee. I mumbled my thanks as I accepted the mug. "It was called 'Love Leads Wedding'. Catchy."

"Knock...knock...your nine o'clock appointment is here," our secretary, Nicole informed. "Where's Cain?" I asked. Brad shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans. "I saw him a few minutes ago. I'll look for him. You go and entertain our client," he said and walked out the door.

 

 

CHAPTER 3: LOUISA

You got to be kidding me. I stood frozen to the spot as I watched a more matured Joey Philip strode toward the young couple with me. Then he stopped and looked taken aback. He stared at me in silence. He cleared his throat and addressed the young couple. Then he motioned us to sit down on a nearby couch. He settled down on an armchair with a graceful motion of a feline. "Good to see you again, Louisa. I guess you're the new wedding planner in town," he said and I nodded. Then he ignored me and turned his attention to Stacy and Cody, the young couple that came with me. I took the opportunity to study him closely. He was taller than I remembered, around five foot eleven. His shoulders were wider and his chest broader. His dark hair was cropped short, unlike the long and tousled style he sported eight years ago. It made him look dangerously handsome. The blue jeans he wore couldn't hide the strong legs underneath. Even the dark blue colored t-shirt that stretched over his broad chest left little to the imaginations. My eyes wandered to his left hand. No gold ring in sight. I frowned. Didn't he marry Danielle?

"Louisa, what a pleasant surprise!" I jerked my head up just in time to see a wide smile on Cain Philip's handsome face. He pulled me up onto my feet and hugged me tightly. Then Brad Philip appeared and shoved his brother aside. "Hey, my turn!" he said and hugged me. I smiled at the brothers. Eight years had change them into two fine young men. "You look great," Brad remarked and I blushed. "Thank you," I murmured. Cody and Stacy stood up, shook hands with us and left. Joey stood up to his full height. "Excuse me," he murmured and started to walk away. "I smash your face again if you're thinking about the liquor," Cain called out. Joey turned around and glared at his youngest brother in silence. "I need my coffee, Cain," he snapped. Then he disappeared into a room. Must be the pantry.

"What's that all about?" I asked. Cain looked at Brad. "Should we tell her?" he asked. Brad shrugged. I glared at the two men. "What the hell happened?" I asked in irritation. They never hide anything from me. They always tell me everything, including their first sex with girls from school. But today they were being secretive, as if afraid I might strangle them when they opened their mouths. I crossed my arms over my chest and glared at them. "Well?" I asked impatiently. Cain sighed and slumped down on the couch. "You shouldn't have left, Louisa," he murmured and I stiffened. "And let me witness their wedding? No thanks!" I spat angrily. How dare they assumed I would stay and witness Danielle's happily ever after with the only man that I ever wanted in this life. I rather shot myself. Brad stepped closer. "There is no wedding!" he cried out. I stared at him in surprise. "N...no wedding?" I whispered shakily. "No! What kind of man do you think Joey is?" Cain growled.

"But Danielle said..."

"Danielle is a whore and a liar. Sorry, Louisa but I've been wanted to say that for a long time. Her boyfriend refused to marry her when she got pregnant. She needed someone who could become the baby's father. Didn't you know that she was already two months pregnant the night she drugged Joey? She envied you. We know that she fancied Joey and wanted to tear the two of you apart for years. She succeeded when you left this town but unfortunately for her, my brother isn't stupid. He waited until she gave birth then persuaded her to agree to a paternity test. That's when she confessed. Waiting for the result was pure hell but it confirmed my brother's innocence. The baby isn't his. Danielle put up the baby for adoption and left town after that."

I slumped on the couch next to Cain. My body shook. What have I done? I let the man I love down when he needed me the most. I left him to face everything alone. "He tried to forget you, Louisa. He dated several women but he couldn't get you out of his head," Cain said sadly and shook his head. "Then he took up drinking. He's always drunk whenever we came to see him. He said he could only forget you when he's drunk but once he's sober, your face haunted him. He chose to stay drunk so he could forget everything but I couldn't stand by and watch him slowly destroying himself. I smashed all the bottles and punched his face. I had to do it. I had no choice. He hated me for weeks but once he realized why I did it, we became best friends once more. He quit his job five years ago and together we started this business. He'd been sober ever since."

"Why did you come back?" Brad asked and I stared at his handsome face. "This is my home, Brad. This is where I belonged. How could you ask me that?" I said in disbelief. He sighed. "Don't get me wrong. We're glad you came back. It's just..." He sighed again. "What?" I asked. "I'm worried about Joey. He became a broken man after you left. I'm not sure his heart can be mended at all. He stayed far away from women as if trying to protect his already broken heart. He's a different man now, Louisa. I hadn't seen him smile or laugh for years." A lump formed in my throat. Joey hadn't smile in years? Oh God, what have I done to him?

For eight years, I thought I was the only one suffering. But Joey suffered more. Why couldn't I just stopped and listened to him that day? Why must I turned my back on him and left town? Tears fall down my cheeks. You're blind, my heart scolded me. You're a stupid and stubborn woman. Have you really think about Joey's feelings? Look what you have turned him into! Can you mend his heart? Can you?!

I left the studio, numb from shock at what I've done. My visions blurred when I parked my car in front of my house. I couldn't go back to the office. I needed someplace private where I could be alone. I pushed open the front door and strode toward the couch. I lay down and curled into a fetal position. My body shook violently as I cried.

CHAPTER 4: JOEY

I opened my eyes when the door opened. Cain and Brad sauntered toward the desk. "You should at least talk to her. She looked pale when she left minutes ago," Cain remarked and sat down on the chair across from me. I frowned. "What do you want me to say?" I growled. "That I'm happy she's home? And who asked you to relate my miserable life to her? I'm good before she suddenly showed up out of the blue." Brad huffed. "No you're not!" he hissed as he leaned forward. "You need her in your life." I shot up to my feet and glared at my brother. "The hell I don't!" I shouted. "She left me when I needed her the most. She turned her back on me and threw my love back at my face! She broke my heart and God damned knows I don't need her!" I stomped out of the studio and headed toward my car. My hands shook as I started the engine. I let out a heavy sigh and rested my head against the steering wheel.

God, I lied to my brothers. I still love Louisa no matter what she'd put me through for these past eight years. My life was so empty without her. She was my first love and the only woman I wanted to marry and grow old with. But I couldn't forget the distrust that I saw in her beautiful brown eyes that day. She didn't trust me and that hurt more than anything.

It was already dark when I got home. I spent the whole day at the lake, thinking. As I mounted the short steps, I noticed the yellow house was bathed in darkness although Louisa's car was in the driveway. I shook my head. Why should I care? I switched on the lights and closed the door behind me. I kicked off my shoes and strode towards the kitchen barefooted. As I waited for the water to boil, I peered outside. It was raining cats and dogs outside right now. The lightning flashed and I thought I saw someone sitting by the small pond behind Louisa's house. I turned off the stove and jerked open the back door. My heart thudded wildly against my ribcage as I made my way towards the pond barefooted. "Hello! Who's there?" I shouted. I received no answer so I shouted again. Still no answer. I quickened my steps. "Louisa," I murmured when I saw her sitting on the grass, staring at the water. "What the hell are you doing sitting here in a weather like this?" I shouted at her. She didn't seem to hear me. She just sat there, not moving at all. She's still wearing the same skirt and blouse from this morning. Her wet hair was plastered to her face which looked pale and her lips had turned blue. She was shaking so hard it was painful to watch. How long had she been sitting here, I had no idea but I couldn't leave her like this. Gently, I picked her off the wet grass and started walking back towards my house. 

 

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Tag der Veröffentlichung: 30.05.2013

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