1

-This is sempiternal, will we ever see the end?

 

I lay in my room, chin turned up to look at the black ceiling.Dont judge. it makes me feel electric in a way , like i'm being sucked into a big black hole. Yes i am crazy. I think. That is, however, what single parent of two, joey reese says. my pschyciatrist dr. reese gives me these books to read about my mental health and tells me it is good for my health. medicinal marijuana can be good for your health, i say to him, at which he shakes his head.After my sessions, my mother arrives to pick me up and to take me to an actively healthy youth club, where they tell me i am too emo to function. I am not even emo. I think. Well whatever, i say, and the guy that has said this to me; a huge boy at an age of fifteen frowns furiously because he has not gotten to me. At this actively healthy youth club, they desperately plead with me to take out my numerous piercings and to wear longer sleeved jumpers. I laugh in their faces and walk away, grab my jacket and skateboard (i take that thing everywhere) and skate home. Essentially, that is how i got here. I think. i have decidedly shoved a big wooden cupboard infront of my bedroom door. Now my mother has proceeded in screaming at me through the walls and has gotten my brother to drive down from his place to shout at  me even more.

" Avery, i know you can hear me"

i grunt and turn over in my bed, screaming at him to go away. i must have not jammed the door tight enough because he pushes his way through, grabbing me by my collar.

"The $%^& is wrong with you?! " he screams,shaking me back and forth. i spit in his face and laugh hysterically. Rufus starts to punch me in the face an i can hear mum crying in the corner.

"YOU BASTARD! I HAD TO LEAVE MY PREGNANT WIFE AT HOME TO COME AND DEAL WITH YOUR SHIT" he shrieks and his face is even more distorted than usual. this i laugh at.  i tell him that i dont care about his wife and that i hope his unborn baby dies. He grabs me again and kicks me multiple times. Then the bell rings and the police force their way into my bedroom. It must look horrible, because my blood is everywhere. I ask them what the $%^& they are doing in my house and kick as they force me into the police car. as it turns out, i am going to an institute for disturbed chidren. i am anything but disturbed. i've gotten into a huge amount of trouble for wearing what i wear, listening to what i listen to, looking like me. i asked myself the same question over and over again, because it seemed like it was never going to end; the pain i mean. one thing you have to learn about life is that people judge. i dont think in my entire life i had not been judged.not once.

2

- Oh well, whatever, nevermind.

 

dr.reese shook his head as he looked at me. I had tried to keep my distance, as per usual, shifting in my seat unusally at the end of the room. reese was at the other.

" i understand that you have....problems with your mother" he says dilligently.                                                                   

i shrug my shoulders and fiddle with the piercing on my lower lip looking out the window as the rain drips repeatedly.For some reason, the noise annoys me. i tap my feet in the same rythym that the rain drops and stare at dr.reese as he takes out his notebook, hurredly writing it. i want to point out that he should probably buy a new one because this one is in tatters.He rips the page he is writing on and carefully hands it to me, careful not to touch me.great. another adress for another actively healthy youth club. 

"so while you are being kept at this institute, i expect you to be attending these sessions" he says quietly.I suck my gum and get up noisily. i utter my only word for today.

"whatever" grabbing my skateboard, i storm out of the crumbling building to meet my probation officer who watches as he starts the car. i say that i'd prefer to ride alongside him and he shrugs, shoving his cigarette in his mouth and inhaling deeply. i squint, wait for him to put the key in the ignition and ride slowly alongside him. the wheels shine-mine, not his- because its the only thing i take pride in. i dont really care that it is raining now and my vest is now stuck to my skin and my hair plastered to my face. i can see out of the corner of my eye that my probation officer is secretly peering at me through the car window. He had picked me up from the police station with my bags packed and my skateboard in his arms. Obviously my distraught mother had decided to be nice for once. huh. He'd revealed to me that his name was Jack and that he was to check up on me every two weeks. i'd shrugged and said whatever . Now he beeps his horn, telling me to stop, as we'd reached our destination. i stare at the building, enclosed in vines and bushes. its big enough i think and i walk slowly up to the gate. on the steps, i see a girl about my age with red hair that covers her face. she's completely drenched but sits there anyway,only lookingup as i push the gate open. she is beautiful. she has these beautiful green eyes and here lips as red as her hair. She grins wickedly as i walk towards the steps.on her ankle, there is a rose only visible around her ankle bracelet.

"Hi there!" she grins and i stare at her, lost for words.

" so whats your name?" her hair sticks to her face and she smiles, a dazzling smile.

"scarlett, this is avery, he's new here" says my probation officer.

"well duh" scarlett says. i laugh and smile. she grabs my hand and takes me inside, her eyes shining.

"it's not as bad as you think,avery, you'll have your own room thats for sure" 

"ok" i say warmly.kind of.

A woman comes out of a room and stares at me for a minute and then shakes her head at scarlett.

"for the love of god scarlett, leave the damn boy alone" she sighs

"i'm samantha dear" samantha holds out her hand and grins at me. she waits as my arms hang limply at my sides , laughing slightly. Jack bursts through the big doors, redfaced because of the load in his hands. he hurls my luggage on the floor and collapses totally. Scarlett laughs, a soft laugh that rings in my ears. i like it. i attempt to smile at her again and she laughs , taking my hand again, rubbing my fingers with hers.

"you are SO funny avery"  Scarletts face lights up and she grins again.

"Thanks,i guess" i thank her, but im irritant now.

Samantha butts in, her little tubby feet moving between us. The sun had come out and was now shining through the big glass windows. the light hit scarlett and somehow made her seem like an angel-with red hair.

"There are only four children that live here-despite the size of this place" Jack says, looking around and shoving his hands in his pockets.

"Indeed. Milo, Willis, Bo, and of course Scarlett" Says samantha. She gives me a warm smile and suddenly we are interrupted by a high pitched wail.

"That's Bo now, wanting her dinner" She smiled at me one last time and held me by my arm for a second and then left, walking up the long trail of steps.

"Bo's not a baby" Scarlett mutters

"huh?" i say

" i said Bo's not a baby, she is fifteen"

"oh" she seems disapointed with my answer because she shakes her head and bounds up the stairs.

"well, i'll see you tomorrow mate." Jack heaves a long cough and waves goodbye. i nod and look up the stairs. Bigger and better than the two bedroom flat my mother and i had shared, i think to myself.

3

-in the pines,the pines,where the sun dont ever shine

i had been moved into an elaborate bedroom, where the windows hung open. Tragically, i thought. I had met Milo and Willis at dinner and had experienced the hardships of being put in a room next to Bo. She wailed all night and when she did not, i could hear her soft sniffles through the plaster wall.

 The next morning,i awake to more cries and big thumps and crashes. There are shouts of

"put that down"

"STOP THIS INSTANT"

i run downstairs even faster than i should  and stop dead in my tracks.

"oh. good morning avery" samantha exhales. i ignore her, and instead look up at the girl sitting on the cupboard. Her pink hair is wrapped around her crossed legs and her mascara runs all the way down her cheek

"This is bo" says samantha

"she's taken refuge at the top of the games cupboard-as you can see"

bo stares at me and cocks her head to the side

"who are you?" she says. her voice is light but cracked.

i hesitate and look at samantha who is looking very anixious.

"avery" i let my arms swing and smile slightly

"oh.your face is funny" she says

"your hair is funny. And thanks" i grin

"oh.thanks.and your welcome" she nods and shifts ever so slightly

"need help getting back down?" i ask

"come back in three hours" bo shrugs and laughs. it comes out in loud croaking peals and i almost burst out laughing. i nod and turn around to samantha who is gone and in her place is scarlett.

"oh.hey" says bo

"hey there bobo" scarlett winks at me and lightly brushes my hand with her long detailed fingernails.

"come for a walk?" scarlett pleads

"um.yeah.sure" i turn to bo who is quietly singing to herself. her long lashes brush her cheeks as she looks down and she sweeps her hair into a long ponytail

"i'll come" she says

i grin half-heartedly and help her as she tries to get down(im not that rude afterall). she is wearing a big wooly jumper over tiny shorts i can barely see. Her boots are scuffed and the laces are undone. she smiles at  me and her grin is lopsided. i frown at her beneath a smile and turn swiftly around towards the door where scarlett is waitiing.

"Dont worry,im not kidnapping you" she says and bites her lip

" Thanks for the reassurance" i say and wink at bo. she smiles and coughs.

"so what do you guys do for fun around here?" i find a lone tree and swing on one of its long,gangly branches.

4

-enough's enough we're done

i found myself lost within the forest with scarlett and bo about half an hour later, bare footed and dark green moss tangled in my hair. we'd been rolling down steep hills and paddling in the murky lake. Bo had even created a tyre swing with some taught rope that she had found lying on in an old abandond cabin. we'd stopped there for scarlett to scour the premises with her eventually finding a box of old,stale cigarettes and  a lighter.

"want a smoke?" she'd asked. i told her no, that i'd quit when i was around the age of two. Bo had laughed hysterically and afterwards,insisted that she sit on my lap on the tyre swing because she was scared. we swung for fifteen minutes before scarlett got bored.

"You guys are SO boring" she'd said and stormed off,red hair flying in the wind.

Me and Bo stay for another two hours on the same swing and talk.

"so tell me about yourself" i ask.

she hesitates and then stutters

"Theres nothing much to say. my name's bo.fifteen. lived a happy life with my family in london until about the age of thirteen. i was moved here because of depression" she looks up at me to see my reaction. my face is blank

"what about you?"

i stutter aswell

"They say im violent and a risk to my mother. Attitudes bad. All that kind of crap. just turned sixteen" i brush back my hair and stare at her. i notice that she has the most blue eyes i've ever seen in my life. i cant look away. Bo shifts in my lap and jumps off,landing softly in the wet grass.She holds out her hand.

"come on" she laughs as i jump -not so gracefully-off the swing. i stand there awkwardly until she grabs my hand forcefully.

"where are you taking me?" i ask playfully

"you,my dear,are being escorted by england's finest" she says loudly and her voice echoes through the trees

"sounds like fun" i say 

Impressum

Tag der Veröffentlichung: 02.08.2013

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Widmung:
To my english teacher who inspired me to start writing again