The Limit

I'm tired of being treated like shit i'm tired of you cursing at me and calling me a bitch,whore and other hurtful names. I've now lost all control I now say whatever comes to mind the rage now controls me and i've have now become the b word that you call me i'm now crazy because i'm mad as hell the rage eats me alive. You've now created a moster that you can't tame. The sweet girl you used to know is now gone. I'm suppose to be your daughter but you play with me mentally and now the unconditional love I had for you is now gone forever.It's banished into the depths of hell. The soul I once had is no longer there you took it away and now my hearts cold filled with darkness and sorrow the happy girls gone and depression is setling in I no longer know who I am i'm lost. I now shake all the time when I just look at your face you make me want to hurt you both mentally and physically.When you scream at me and curse I do the same I've lost all respect for you your no longer my mom you just a stranger who's house I live in. That's right i'm mad as all hell and can't wait till i'm 18 to get the fuck out of here it will be the best day of my life when my 18th birthday comes i'll be the happiest bitch alive. Today you pushed me to the limit you invited Lordi over and you made all of us go upstairs you yelled at me and my brother telling us to go the fuck up stairs I gave you a look I spoke with my eyes and not my mouth then carried Jayden up the stairs I really did hate how you spoke to us and treated us like dirt all the crap we've done for you as your children and all the crap we've been through and you talk to me like that. Lordi came and yall did what ever then he left then here you come up stairs saying all yall motherfuckers go to bed I look at you and all of a sudden because I hold so much shit in it all comes out the rage takes over and I burst like a time bomb " Don't talk to us like that" I yell at her "You shut the fuck up and go to bed" she say my nanna and brother just stares at my mom and me like were crazy "GO THE FUCK TO BED YOU DUMB ASS MOTHERFUCKER!" "No, you didn't care about it when lordi came over you Jayden was falling to sleed and you told us to bring are asses upstairs!"I reply "Go to bed you stupid bitch!" "I'm tired of you calling me a bitch, STOP FUCKING DISRESPECTING ME YOU WOULDN'T LIKE IT IF I CURSED YOUR ASS OUT YOU WOULD POP MY ASS IN THE MOUTH!" "WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING TO" she yells as she pops me in my face "You don't fucking touch me " I say as I punch her in her stomach and chest " You stop" my nanna says to my mom as she lifts her hand to smack me " I FUCKING HATE YOU , I FUCKING HATE LIVING HERE, I'M TIRED OF BEING TREATED LIKE DIRT,I CANT WAIT TO GET THE FUCK OUT, I FUCKING HATE YOU, I'M SICK OF YOU CAING ME A BITCH"I say screaming and crying " I want my grandma!! I HATE YOU!" my nanna then walks me to my room and then ask "hy are you yelling?" "because i'm so sick of her talking to me like this I want to live somewhere else when she gets home from work all she does is call me names and call me stupid and all these hurtfull names I'm sick of the shit nanna" i say to her screaming and yelling while laying down jumping up n down and screaming and forcing my face into the pillow "send me somewhere else snd me to live in a foster home or with somewhere else i'm sick of living here ugh i freaking hate it nanna" "Well maybe you should live with me or your aunt I love and i know your aunt loves spending time with you" "ugh.ugh.ugh i hate lving here" i scream while forcing my head in the pillow " why everytime I come over here your rude to me sometime?" " i'm sorry nanna I hold alot of shit in and I take it out on everybody i'm just mad as hell, mad at the world" " you can't stress yourself out and can't let others stress you out and make you crazy that's how you end up in a mental hospital, you understand" "yes, but nanna i hate living here" "Just go to bed she said i'm going to spend the night and in the morning i ask auntie melissa if you can live with her" "nanna I wan't my Journal" "where is it?" "in mommy's room" "i'll get it and are you cooled down? "no i'm still mad that's why im going to write about it" then she brings it to me kisses me good night then puts my brother to bed and then she went to bed

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Tag der Veröffentlichung: 11.07.2012

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