Intro:

Flashback:
"What were you doing in Mr. Olsens office Rahnee!?"
"Nothing he asked for me Mrs. Olsen I promise".
Mrs.Olsen looked at me with her bold green eyes. Her long brown hair hung down her back and her bold red lipstick scared the hell out of me. She gripped the belt tighter to her hands as she grabbed my chin and forced me to look into her surreptitious eyes.
"Tell me the truth Rahnee!"
"I promise Mrs. Olsen!"
Tears ran from my eyes as Mrs. Olsen looked at me close.
"Pull down your pants".
More tears fell hard like a waterfall as I pulled down my pants. My short black hair was now sweaty tangled strands. I bent over as a hard belt buckle hit my butt.
"Ah!"
I wailed in pain.
She was so stupid. I loathed Mrs. Olsen, she always beat me but never did she listen to me of what I had to say. I can hear her words rang in my head.
"You're a lousy bitch. I'm sending yo ass back tomorrow morning!"

 

Chapter One

 

"She's a lovely girl"
Mrs. Wilkinson said. Bull crap I thought. She's just feeding them a whole pile of shit just so I can leave her alone, another soul she won't have to deal with. I sat back in the brown wooden chair listening to it screech with every movement I made. I huffed and puffed, I didn't want to leave Fort Wilkinsons, I loved this place, the only place where I belonged. I had finally made friends and even chilled for a bit. Another adopted family, no. I didn't want to get hurt anymore. This will be my seventh adopted family in my short few years. I wasn't surprised though, there's always some shit that happens like, they get me for awhile and I'm a total asshole so they send me back, or they just found out that they're pregnant or wait hold on this is the best one, they want a better family and not my obstinate ass. Aha! There it goes! I sat back in the chair as I saw three shadows walk there way towards me.
~~
I looked up at them. There stood a lady pale as ever with brown hair and lots of makeup, she looked like a damn buffoon. Then there was a tall man who had brown hair and green eyes and lastly Mrs. Wilkinson, with her thick body, short curly grey hair, and chubby pink cheeks. They all smiled at me. I just looked them up and down.
"This here is Rahnee and Rahnee this is the Holland family they will be adopting you".
Mrs. Wilkinson said happily.
"No".
My remark was. Mrs. Wilkinson gasped, the other two just looked at one another. Mrs. Wilkinson looked at the two figures and started to speak.
"Excuse me Mr. and Mrs. Holland she's been through 6 adopted families she's had a hard life".
She whispered like I couldn't hear her. I rolled my eyes. They then smiled at me. "I don't want to go".
"Stop it Rahnee these are nice people". "You said they were all nice".
The pale lady start to speak.
"Rahnee I understand where you're coming from but we will help you".
She smiled brightly at me showing her sparkly colgate smile.
"Now get up Rahnee"
Mrs. Wilkinson scowled. I got up with one suitcase. My long black and pink hair dangled at my shoulders. I moved my bangs out the way and started to walk out Fort Wilkinsons with the Hollands. Mrs. Wilkinson waved me off. "Shit", I thought, I knew then and there I was going to be back in no time.
"I'm Marian and this is Gale Rahnee".
I didn't say anything. Finally they stopped at a nice black BMW. Mr. Holland got in the front, I got in the back and Mrs. Holland got on the passenger side. "Buckle up".
Mr. Holland said. I rolled my eyes and laid back in the seat. What do I look like buckling up? I didn't even want be here shit . . . life's hard.
~~
Mr. Holland start to drive. As he drove I looked out the window, we were driving away from the orphanage. I wanted to run back and hide. I never wanted to see another family. I placed my pale hand on the window. I studied my black fingernails. I was in love with black. Black was everything life could offer, it's plain, dark, scary, solid, and warm, all of the above. We passed side walks and trees. It was just the beginning of fall. Orange, green, and red leaves fell from the trees. The world seemed to stop and get colder. Mrs. Holland broke my thoughts.
"How old are you Rahnee?"
"Fifteen".
"That's great we have two sons. One is sixteen and the other is seventeen. Don't worry you'll get along just fine".
Sure I thought, one thing I knew about being adopted was that kids hate to share or be shared. I bet they're all stuck up. I mean these people dress lavish they look like their wealthy and they even talk rich. I didn't want to be bothered. "We're glad you're here Rahnee give us sometime and we'll prove to you that we can be a real family".
Mr. Holland said. That's when they turned in a neighborhood full of huge houses. I looked out the translucent window now amazed when they pulled up to a huge brick house. Two boys sat on the porch. They stood up when we pulled in the driveway. Flowers surrounded the path of the walkway. The grass was greener thab kale and nicely cut. Their mailbox stood straight and fierce.
"We're here".
They both said. They got out, I waited awhile then got out too. The boys looked at me, I even heard one of them whisper "Is she gothic?" I looked back at my clothes. Blacks shorts, black hair, and a black shirt. I then looked at my shoes, black Chucks. I shrugged and got my suitcase when a tall tan boy with brown hair and eyes grabbed my suitcase. The other one stood at the steps, black hair bold blue eyes, burly and tough looking. He had a masculine face.
"I got it".
He spoke. We then all walked in the house. Marian start to speak.
"Derek and Ron here will show you to your room while I get dinner ready".
I looked around, this house was beautiful. A long crystal chandelier hung from the ceiling, a long nice staircase waited to be walked on, a nice luxurious living room, and out the corner of my eye I saw the kitchen.
"Follow me"
The tough looking one said. I followed them upstairs, we made a left and I saw an all white room. We walked into it, everything was white in here. The boys stood at the door while I looked around. I heard them say, "She's either emo or she's just scary looking".
"We kept it white so you could decorate it however you want".
The one that held my suitcase said. I placed my hands on the white cover, for some reason I felt back at the Hartons home. The smell of warm bread waiting for me downstairs, oh how I miss that, the only thing wrong was that the bread was getting me fat. I broke out of my daze when I noticed the boys looking at me. "I'm not gonna pretend like I like you". The tough looking one said. He looked at me with those harsh blue eyes. He then walked away. I was use to people not liking me, but this was just too soon. "Don't mind him he's always like that . . . that's Ron by the way".
I nooded my head.
"Yeah I'm use to it".
"Just know I'm happy you're here".
I gave Derek a fake smile, he smiled back then walked away. This was going to be a long night.
~~
"Dinner".
Marian called from downstairs, I had just got done unpacking my stuff from the suitcase into the drawer. I put my hair into a dirty bun and kept my bangs out, I then walked downstairs slowly. As I hit the last step I heard laughing and smelled fresh pasta, and warm sizzling garlic bread. As I walked into the kitchen, Marian, Ron, Derek, and Gale were all sitting down. I stopped and looked around, the blue wall painting with family portraits covering it , all white chairs and counters, and a table with glass cups and plates,the window open, letting the coldest breeze in, then the Holland family. This was a family, if they were to take a picture now they would be the type of family you see on the commercials, loving one another, and laughing with each other. Now if I was to get into the picture I'll ruin everything like I always do.
"What are you waiting for?"
Marian asked.
"Oh sorry".
I took a seat next to Ron. (The only seat left). He kicked me from under the table, I really felt like grabbing this knife and stabbing him in the leg with it. One thing I learned at Fort Wilkinson and that was to stand up for myself. I decided to keep cool for now.
"Let's eat".
Derek spoke.
"Bout time".
Ron said.
"Enough".
Gale spit back. They then start to pass pasta and garlic bread back and forth. I dug into my pasta as Marian start to talk.
"So we enrolled you in school you'll be going to Lakewood High with Ron".
No I thought, not this bitch.
"So does this mean I'm gonna have to give her rides?"
"She's your sister Ron".
He huffed and got up and stomped away. "Excuse him".
Gale said while getting up and following him. I put my head down.
"Rahnee tomorrow we'll go shopping so you can get stuff for your room".
"Sure".
Derek just stared at me. To be honest he was the only friendly face I'd seen in awhile.
"We're really happy to have you". "Sure . . . I'm pretty tired I'm gonna call it the night".
Marian shook her head at me as I got up. I then walked upstairs to my new room. Thankgod I have a bathroom in my room. I closed the door then locked it. I then took off my clothes and slipped on a T-shirt. I turned the lights off and opened the window. I always slept with the window open after I left the Delwood family. I then hopped in bed and slowly went to sleep.

 

Chapter Two

 

We had just come from getting stuff for my room. Marian tried to talk while we were out shopping, but she really was just talking to herself. I decided to only say little. Never get close to people because their the main people who will send you back in a heartbeat just like the Hallins. I had started to paint my room so then I could put the rest of my stuff in here after it dried. My room was painted black, of course. I sat in the middle of the floor, the floor was a hard reddish brown wood. My room looked so much smaller with nothing in it. My dirty black hands and my dirty black tee. I wiped my hands on my shirt and laid back on the floor. My back hurt but sometimes I like to feel the pain, especially when I'm in the mood. I looked at my ceiling, remembering the days with the Olsens, how they had a nice pink room painted for me. How I hate it deep down inside, but that was my first adopted family. I thought I was going to be with them forever, I thought they loved me, but I was wrong, I was out of there two weeks from when they got me. I was only 7, back to the orphanage. Young Mrs. Wilkinson asked them what I had done. Mrs. Olsens remark was that I was a lousy and ungrateful little girl and needed to be trained not to flirt with older men, but she didn't know what really happened or how devastated I was. I never wanted to hurt her or be ungrateful, it's just when you grow up too fast things happen, that little girl that was left is now a rotten tomato. I started to weep as Mrs. Olsens hard hands hit my face back and forth, hit after hit, I started to squirm as a flashback came.

Flashback:

"What were you doing in Mr. Olsens office Rahnee!?"
"Nothing he asked for me Mrs. Olsen I promise".
Mrs.Olsen looked at me with her bold green eyes. Her long brown hair hung down her back and her bold red lipstick scared the hell out of me. She gripped the belt tighter to her hands as she grabbed my chin and forced me to look into her surreptitious eyes.
"Tell me the truth Rahnee!"
"I promise Mrs. Olsen!"
Tears ran from my eyes as Mrs. Olsen looked at me close.
"Pull down your pants".
More tears fell hard like a waterfall as I pulled down my pants. My short black hair was now sweaty tangled strands. I bent over as a hard belt buckle hit my butt.
"Ah!"
I wailed in pain.
She was so stupid. I loathed Mrs. Olsen, she always beat me but never did she listen to me of what I had to say. I can hear her words rang in my head.
"You're a lousy bitch. I'm sending yo ass back tomorrow morning!"

~~
"Rahnee open the door!"
I woke up, sweat covered my whole body, I got up and wiped my face. My heart beated fast.
"Rahnee are you OK!?"
I walked to the door and opened it, there stood Gale. Worry was written all over his face. He looked at me with concern. My heart start to slow down when I noticed I wasn't back at the Olsens household.
"Sorry I was acting a part".
Relief formed on his face.
"I thought something happened".
"No sorry".
"Marian and the boys went to get pizza they'll be back. In the meantime wipe all that paint off your face".
He chuckled then walked away. I closed the door and walked into the bathroom, I looked in the mirror, black paint was all on my cheeks and eyes, must had smeared when I wiped my watery eyes. I washed my face and hands getting fifty percent of the paint off, I then start to decorate.
~~
I looked around my room, my my my it was beautiful. I had three pink drawers, a black bed spread, black laundry basket, black curtains, and a black desk with a pink chair. On my walls were posters of all sorts of bands, quotes, and famous people. This was finally my room. Lastly I had a black carpet on the floor. I laid on my bed when I heard Marian call me. I got up and headed to the kitchen. I sat down, everyone decided to already eat, I grabbed four slices and start to gobble them down.
"Slow down. The food is still here".
Ron said. I rolled my eyes, he did the same.
"Hey Rahnee?"
"Yes Marian?"
"School starts in two days for you so we can get you some supplies and new clothes tomorrow".
"What's wrong with my clothes?"
Everyone looked at me.
"Hunny have you heard black is not in style this season".
I stopped eating my pizza and glared at her. Anger filled my insides.
"I like my clothes".
"Yea but you need new ones and more colors than just black".
I got up and threw my pizza across the table, everyone jumped.
"Go ahead. Send me back. I like my clothes. I don't need new clothes. Just send me back already!"
I ran all the way upstairs to my room, I slammed the door and buried myself in my pillows. It's only been two days and already they're trying to change me. God I hate life. I hate me.

 

Chapter T

 

"Rahnee".
Someone called while walking into my room. I sat up in my bed to face Derek. His brown hair was nicely combed and his eyes showed concern.
"What?"
"You ok?"
"I know I'm crazy ok . . . should I get packing?"
Derek sat in the chair.
"Marian was just teasing. She didn't know you were gonna get mad like that . . . she felt so bad. She just thought you'd want some new clothes".
"Sorry I overreacted I guess I took it the wrong way . . . if it really means the world to her I'll get some new clothes".
Derek smiled, I gave him a fake smile back.
"Great I'll tell her and look, we're really glad you're here".
I shook my head as Derek got up and walked out. I felt relieved, for once somebody understood me.
~~
We drove silently, until Marian turned the radio on. It was just her and I heading to the mall to get my school stuff. We had already gotten supplies. Today was the coldest day I'd had in a long time. Fog crept on the window, you could hear the wind whooshing back and forth outside. Thankgod the heat was on. I could see the trees leaves falling then moving from the wind. I spelled my name on the window.
"I use to do that when I was little". Marian said. I tugged on my black sweatshirt, my hair was down and my bangs were getting longer. I re-painted my nails all black.
"Marian I want to say sorry for yesterday. I didn't . . . "
Marian cut me off.
"It's ok things happen. I shouldn't have stepped out of line like that. You're fifteen, you have the right to wear whatever".
"You didn't send me back. Why?"
"Please for that, Rahnee you're a teenage girl that's what you guys do".
We both chuckled.
"Yea I guess".
"Look don't worry I'll let you pick out anything you want ok?"
I smiled.
"Yea ok".
"Alright".
We both giggled. I needed to stop, never get too close.
~~
Marian had picked a thousand different shirts in all different colors. I picked black pants, boots, shirts, and more black nail polish. Marian held up a pink hoodie. I nooded my head as she placed it in the shopping bag. I was only saying yes but I really wasn't going to wear this unless she asked about it. I found a grey shirt, I placed that in the bag. Marian had bought me five pair of adidas so I wouldn't be shoeless. I found some more black and blue pants so I put those in the bag.
"I think we're finished".
"Yea".
I agreed.
"OK let's go to checkout".
"Alright".
Finally I thought.
~~
We walked out the mall with bags loads of stuff. The wind swept hard on my pale face making it turn all red. We got in the black BMW and headed home. To the place I stay.
~~
Derek helped me take the bags upstairs to my room while Marian got dinner ready. She wanted to celebrate my first day of school, which is tomorrow. I thought it was a bit much but she didn't. We put my last bag on the bed.
"Marian went all the way out for you". "Yea I guess".
Derek looked at me close, when Ron walked into my room. He rolled his eyes at me, I rolled mine back. Ron then walked up to Derek and whispered something in his ear. "No" I heard Derek say.
"You want to hang with the emo!"
Ron yelled. I gasped, they both looked at me.
"I am not emo!"
"You know what, I wish your crazy ass wasn't here!"
Ron got in my face, his tenacious blue eyes stared me right in mine.
"Fuck yourself!" I hollered loud. "You're fucking crazy".
Ron said while backing away. He turned to face Derek he pushed him a little then walked out. I sighed and sat on my bed. I needed to be alone, I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy, I blocked out and my mind zipped to the Callwells household.

Flashback:

"She's crazy mom, send her back!"
Mario yelled. He was sixteen I was thirteen at the time and we weren't getting along for shit. He thought he was better than me, he hurt me, and here Mrs. Callwell is feeding right into his shit. I can hear Mr. Callwell calling the orphanage. I sat in the bathroom rocking in the dark while dried tears covered my face. I'm shaking, scared of what will happen to me. All I hear back and forth is, "She's crazy", "She's crazy". My mind can't take it. I shake and shake trembling to move. "She's crazy". I hear again. I start to beat my head to get that word out. I can't though. I was ready to leave. At the time my hair was long and I had an eyebrow and belly piercing. Boys at school would call me a freak and bother me. I'm so fucked up I thought. I was use to being hurt so I wasn't surprised when Mario and his friends came into . . .
~~
I woke up to someone yanking me, it was Derek. He looked so adorable right now. His brown hair fell in a million complicated curls which I wanted to run my hands through.
"You OK?"
"Yea sorry I just blocked out".
"Do you do that often?"
"Yes a lot".
Derek giggled and helped me up. I did the same.
"Yea im actually glad you're here".
I grinned, Derek grinned back.
"Well look I gotta get some stuff ready for school".
"OK see you at dinner".
"Yeah".
Derek walked out. I then started to put my clothes in the closet.

 

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Texte: Ronnea Stiles
Lektorat: Ronnea Stiles
Tag der Veröffentlichung: 23.08.2017

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