Change-somewhat

No is all I can say, but that changes doesn’t change anything. I tried, but did not succeed. I wanted to take a razor, or knife and slice my skin, make the memories go away, make all the hurt and the pain to fade away like the sunset in the evening sky, but I made a promise to someone very close and very dear to me, someone who means the world to me. All I can do is sit in a corner in the dark and listen to them, telling me bad things about others and me. They are evil and cruel, of the Devil. They hate me and want me dead. I do cherish these moments because I learn to be strong, sometimes it gets the best of me and takes over me, that’s when a small part of my soul dies. Soon, I think that everyone wants me dead, they don’t want me to be in this beautiful, yet cruel world that God has made for us. I just start hating myself, I start to hate others, except this one person who is always there for me, cares about me, tries to help me, tells me that this isn’t real and one day I will get over it, I love him for that. He makes me happy, he makes me forget about the voices, about razors, about people hating me, about me hating others, and he makes me forget about the pain inside me. That’s when I know that this is love that it isn’t come kind plain boyfriend, girlfriend type of love, but this is real, unforgettable, true love. I am happy now, the voices are becoming quieter, there really is no need for me to use anything that harms me in any type of way, there is no need for me to avoid others, and because he made this all go away. I can finally live my life as a whole person, well almost, there are days that I struggle, and I struggle a lot. But, he is always there for me, and I am always there for him. We are a team united, always and forever.

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Tag der Veröffentlichung: 06.03.2015

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