Introduction

 

I was born November 21, 2000. My parents weren’t ever the best, they beat me up, my step-father sexually abused me. I was sent off to an orphanage, in which I had little friends and was misunderstood. January 1, 2006 I was adopted to go to America. So this is my life unordinary life.

 

 

Chapter One

 

 

 

Stop mom, I don’t want you in here, this is my room and you can’t come in here” shouted Emma. “Honey, all I need is for you to answer my question, why did I find razors with blood on them?” “God mom, are you that stupid, I was shaving and I accidently cut myself, no big deal, ok ?” “Ok” said mom.

That’s my mom. Her name is Rebecca. She’s very protective. She knows some of my history, but not all. I don’t let anyone in my life. My mom, blonde hair, blue eyes, and short and chubby is fun to be around, but sometimes insecure. She has been through some stuff in her past, and thinks that she knows everything about me. I hate it when she does that. When she asks me something about my past, I tell a little white lie.

I lay down on my bed, which is filled with dirty and clean clothes, thinking about how much homework I have. Ugh nasty homework. I stand up and go to the kitchen, ignoring to do my work or anything that I am asked to do. I walk to the fridge, get some apple juice and cheese and walk outside. My mom and I live in the country, it’s beautiful. In the spring the birds are chirping, the trees the as green as can ever be, the flowers are growing up to be as beautiful as ever. It calms me, makes me forget about the past, makes me forget about the razors, and makes me forget about my pain.

My dog Creampuff runs up to me and knocks me down. I laugh and pet him. We sit together for a bit while we watch the sunset. It was beautiful. The sun against the trees, streaming like water through a rock. It was peaceful, all different colors, all very vivid. This is the life I want to be alone and just enjoy the earth, no thinking about anything.

“Come on Emma wake up, rise and shine sleeping beauty, time for school!”

“Five more minutes’ mom, I’m finishing my dream…”

“No can do missy, you’re almost late for school. Get up, get dressed, eat, brush your teeth, and take your medicine.”

“Alright, alright, I’m up”

  When I arrive at school, I get to Mrs. Anderson’s class, the eighth grade science teacher. When I had gotten into the classroom, I had felt a bit dizzy. All the sudden I’m dropping to the floor when I feel these strong hands catch me. I look at who caught me, but my vision is blurry. I see nothing from there. All I remember is this guy caught me when I had blacked out, this was a new guy, very cute.

 

Chapter Two

 

I wake up with to a bright light. I’m worried. Am I in the hospital? Oh no, this can’t be. I pull my arms to see if I am in a restraint bed. Phew, that God. I look around and see hospital type beds, and then I look the other way and see sweet Mrs. Ellen. She’s the nurse at this school.

  “Mrs. Ellen, you’re not going to are you?” I ask.  “No honey. Your secret is safe with me, although you have lost a lot of blood.” Replied Mrs. Ellen

   “Thank you. I know, I know. It’s hard for me to coup with my life since my dad had died. Lately my mom has been such a bitch to me” I said.

“I understand sweetie. For now you need to talk to the gentleman outside. Do you want him to come in?” asked Mrs. Ellen

Panic rushed through me. “Yes ma’am that will be fine. Thank you for understanding.” Mrs. Ellen is my best friend in this school, she’s the only one that I trust. Her past was kind of like mine.

I heard someone come in. I was trying to look calm and contained, but I think my worry should too much because the guy said that I don’t need to worry.

At the moment I had realized who this was, well kind of... he was the guy that had caught me. Damn he’s not. Wonder why he’s checking on me.

“Hi, thanks for catching me...” I say.  Stupid, that’s what you say thanks for catching me? Dipshit Emma, you’re such a dipshit!

“Yea, it’s good that I did, you could have gotten a concussion.” Replied mystery guy.

“What’s your name anyways?” I ask.

“Jake, my name is Jake. What’s ur name?” Asks Jake.

 “My name is Emma. Nice to meet you Jake.” I said.

“Yea you too. Hey I was wondering, maybe we can meet up sometime. You know grab some coffee or something. It would be nice to get to know you.” Said Jake.

 “Oh yea, that would be a great idea, but maybe later, right now I am in the ‘minute-clinic’ as you can tell.” I said.

“Haha, you’re funny. Yes later it will be. I hope you get better.” Said Jake.

 “Yea thanks!”

 “You’re welcome.”

 “Bye” I say.

“Bye” Jake says and walks away smiling.

 Omg! I just got asked out by this hot guy! No, what am I thinking I can’t be in a relationship, I don’t want to… My father won’t approve of it. “Oh shut up Emma, your father is dead!” said my conscience. “SHUT THE HELL UP ABOUT MY FATHER” I yell at my conscience.

 

Chapter Three

 

I was in my room trying to pick out something casual, but pretty to wear to our coffee date tonight. I finally picked out a pair of jeans and a short sleeve shirt that had my favorite band on it, Fall out Boys. They are amazing! I brushed my teeth and straightened my long red hair. Then I put some mascara on and put on my black converse on, ran to my room and grabbed a jacket so that no one would be able to see my cuts. I ran downstairs, grabbed my phone and started towards the door.

“Emma, where are you going?” asked mom

“I am going on a coffee date mom.” I reply

“Ok, have fun, but why didn’t you tell me?”

“Thanks, and I knew that you would go crazy and want to meet this guy and all that...”

“True. Have fun. Oh yea, also my friend Eric is going to be over tonight.”

“Alright whatever.”

“Don’t act like that.”

“You always have a guy over like every other night mom... god I have to go. I’m going to be late.”

As I was walking outside Jake pulled up in his car. Yea, I forgot to mention that he was sixteen.

“Hello gorgeous.” Jake said

I blushed. “Hey Jake, you know this is a very nice thing for you to do.” I say

“Anything for you.”

We drive to the coffee shop, there was really nothing to talk about so we sat in awkward silence. Finally we had arrived at my favorite coffee place, The Italio Coffee Shop.

“Wow, this is my favorite coffee place to go to.” I say happily

“Really, I have only gone here once.”

“Trust me, everything here is amazing.”

We walk inside and order. I order a mocha latte and Jake orders a Caramel Praline Latte. I go to take out some money out of my pocket, but Jake stops me and tells me that he pays for it. We sit down at a table close to a window.

“Wow, you are right, this is amazing!” exclaims Jake

“Told ya so.” I say laughing

“So, how long have you lived in this town?”

“Umm only like a year.” I say

“Oh wow. That’s not that long, where did you live before this?” Jake asks

“Actually Orlando.”

“That’s a nice city. You don’t look anything like a country girl.” Jake says laughing

“Well, I don’t like this town.” I say

“Me neither. My parents and I had to move here because of my dad’s job.”

“Huh, where does your dad work?” I ask

“He actually works everywhere. Along with my mom. They are investigators, but they go out of country. They leave me alone at home by myself, and when we lived in Tampa there was a lot of kidnapping and all so they wanted to a small town, and here I am.”

“Wow. That’s really cool. I like that you guys had moved here, because if you guys didn’t then I would of never met you.” That was great flirting.

“That is good. Ok so I have been thinking about you ever since I had kept you from falling. I know we haven’t known each other very long, but would you be my girlfriend?” Jake says

“Wow, um ok… Let’s see. I would love you!” I say

“That’s nice to know” Jake says laughing

“Oh my god, I meant to say I would love to!” I say embarrassed

“Would you like to love me?” Jake asks seductively

“I would. But only when I’m ready.” I respond

Chapter Four

 

I came hope so happy. Honestly, I don’t remember when the last time I was happy. I walked to my mom’s room as quietly as quietly as I could, because she was a light sleeper. I peeked in, hoping that her “friend” was gone, but sadly he wasn’t and I did not want to see what I did. I quietly ran to my bathroom, took a shower, brushed my teeth, put my pj’s on and went to bed. The next morning I woke up to a yell.

“Veronica Emma Nobles, get your butt down here!” Mom yelled

Uggggghhhhhhh!!! What did I do now!?

“Mkay mom. I’ll be right there.” I yelled back

I ran downstairs to see Jake standing in the kitchen talking to my mom.

“Good morning Jake. What are you doing here?” I ask

“I came to visit you. It’s Saturday.” He said

“I knew that. Just if you ever come over on a Saturday, please don’t come early!” I say annoyed

“Sleepy head.” Jake said laughing

“Shut up”

“You’re also grumpy.”

“It’s not funny.” I exclaimed

“Sorry to interrupt your little conversation here, but Emma can we have a word, outside, please?” Mom asked

“Fine.” I say still grumpy

We walk to the back porch.

“Yes mom?” I ask

“Who is this guy, why is he here at the house?” Mom asks clearly mad

“His name is Jake. He is my friend and he’s here to study for school because we have a huge test Monday, okay?” I say

There was nooo way that she was going to know that we were dating.

“Just let me know next time okay Emma?”

“Fine. But I didn’t have a chance because of the “friend” that was over last night.” I say

“Don’t talk to your mother that way Emma.”

“Fine mom.” I say as I walk away

“What was that all about?” Jake asked

“Let’s just go to my room.” I say

“Mkay.”

“Emma, I’m going out to the movies!” Mom yelled

“Mkay mom. Have fun!” I yell back

“I guess were all alone.” Jake says in a seductive voice

Chapter 5

 “I guess we are” I barely whisper leaning in.

I kiss Jake, slowly at first, then faster and faster, I push him down and keep kissing him. I hear Jake moan softly. I break the kiss and laugh quietly.

“What’s so funny?” Jake asks confused

“You” I reply still laughing

“Don’t laugh at me!” Jake says in a demanding voice

“Yes sir.”“Lay down.” Jake orders

Geeze a little bossy pants I have here.

I laid down and Jake started to take my shirt off.

“NO!” I screamed

“What, what’s wrong?” Jake asks

“You can’t do that.” I exclaim

“Why not?” Jake asks

“I no, so stop it now!” I say forcefully

“Ok, ok, gosh.”

“I’m sorry I lost it.”

“No, I understand, but why?”

“I can’t say”

“I’m your best friend, your boyfriend… What is so important that you can’t tell me?!” Jake says a little aggravated

“I um, well, you see…” I hesitate

“Spit it out.”

“Damn fine.” I say as I pull both of my sleeves up.

Jake just stares.

“Jake…” I say concerned

“I am leaving. I will talk to you tomorrow.”

He says standing up and leaving.

“Ok. I love you!” I yell

He didn’t respond. I heard the door slam. I was so scared that he had hated me like everyone else! I was going to tell him why I cut, but he just left. I mean it isn’t my fault that my stepfather physically and sexually abused me, it’s not my fault I am anorexic and bulimic, it isn’t my fault that I was adopted, that I was separated from my sister! Oh no wait, it was and it still is! 

Chapter 6

 I was on my way to class when I saw Jake standing there.

“What are you doing here? Your first class is history.” I said

“I’m here to see you. I’m sorry for walking out on you Emma. I know that you need someone in your life that won’t walk out on you. I do think that we need to address this problem to your mom.”

“I am not going to tell my mom, you are not going to tell my mom. Do you understand?”

“Yes I do. Just tell me that next time that you do it, you will tell me?” Jake asks in concern

“Yeah. Whatever. I’m going to be late. Bye.” I say walking away leaving Jake just standing there stunned.

 

I walk into the class room and head straight for the back. I didn’t want to go to school today. Maybe I can just skip school after this class, or why don’t I just leave now. I stood up to leave when the teacher came in.

“Good morning Mrs. Emma, how are you?” Mr. Road (pronounced Rod) asked

“I am quite well, how are you?” I ask

“Jolly good ma’am.”

“If you don’t mind I will be right back, I have to use the restroom.”

“Alright. Hurry back class is about to start."

”Man that was a close one. I finally made it outside and just started walking in a direction.

 

I didn’t know where I was going. Soon I was close to the woods. I ran into the woods happy as could be. I loved the woods, it was like I was meant to thrive in the woods, even though I hate living in the country. I was walking around when I saw this big magnificent tree, I was guessing it was an old pecan tree. Then I saw a swing bench on it. I am so thrilled. I pulled out my favorite book and walked towards that swing. Apparently I didn’t see the other side of the swing and just to my luck guess who was sitting there, Jake. I stood there unable to know what was going on.

“What are you doing here?!” I say frustrated

“Nothing, just sitting. What are you doing here?”

“I’m skipping school, what do you think idiot!”

“Can we talk?”

“Yeah sure. Whatever you want.”

“Like I said I am very sorry I walked out on you last-”

“Shut up Jake. I talk not you.” Well that was hurtful haha. I am laughing secretly inside.

“You don’t have to apologize. You don’t even have to keep it a secret. I shouldn’t have let you do anything to me last night. I shouldn’t even have let you in. This has been my secret since god knows when. I am not talking to you about this or anyone else. In fact I am not talking to you or anyone for a while. I am going to skip school and isolate myself to think about what I have done. I advise you stay away from me.” I am practically yelling now.This time it is me walking away.

I do wish there was a door there so I could slam it just like he slammed my door. 

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Tag der Veröffentlichung: 09.02.2015

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This is dedicated to all those who are suffering from pain, and want a books that they can relate to...