About Me and Contact
About Me
Born June 13, 1981
Trinidad and Tobago
innercalmbuddha@gmail.com
Blog https://malachimuccmin8.wixsite.com/selfhelp
Youtube Channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBAv_nrZHiEGNnV8RmpG-xw
My writings are a collection of my thoughts based on my spiritual journey going inwards. Allowing myself to be the Observer of my thoughts without thinking, this made me become more self aware. I am not my body nor my mind, I do the thinking, but the thoughts are always flowing by. Thinking and thoughts are not the same.This is my point of view, maybe from a narcissistic point of view, a lone wolf or perhaps a unique conscious mind. Yet...I don't have all of the answers because the truth is our own.
I was dealing with immigration issues so I ended up homeless in 2011. I spent 5 years homeless in Florida with my wife and child. I forced myself to keep doing yoga, tia chi, Wing Chun, chakra healing and later Kundalini yoga to make sure that I stayed Conscious during this hard period. I knew that if I let my homeless experience get to me, I would die or fall asleep and lose my higher awareness.
I now realized that All I wanted was a closer relationship with God. As I began to study myself going inwards, I realized that worry, holding on to my past and attempting to control things were affecting my behavior. I then realized that everything that happened in my past human experiences was supposed to happen, for learning about my behavior so that I could forgive myself and others to evolve in Love.
By letting go I began to recognize the voice of my soul, vs. my sporadic ego, combined with my scattered mind. I also began to see and slowly understand the universe within while growing in divine love. Working on my Chakras helped me experience Self Knowing and a Spiritual Awakening. Accepting that I am a narcissist helped me forgive myself. The attempt to change my personality profile to feel perfect was my worst mistake.
I later realized that I am no different than or exclusive to others, I once thought that I was special. I was the average guy living my life based on what I learned from the outside. I went to public school; I skipped some classes in high school, I only enjoyed writing. I felt like the school system was a boring temporary prison, the program felt to fixed for my taste, not enough personal depth.
I felt like a lost person with no direction because the school didn’t have spiritual or knowledge of self classes. I lived my life going through the motions, avoiding my true feelings because I was trying to be perfect. I was numbing myself, acting out of thoughts then emotions instead of feeling then emotions. I admit that I was not being aware of my spirit, and my psychology. I never thought that I was going to do anything exceptional either.
My spiritual journey, going within and then coming out. This awakening allowed me to see what was happening in my psyche, then seeing the correspondence in my experiences within my created reality. I have been fighting with abandonment issues for years. My journey within put me through many healing experiences with my chakras, such as working with sound and colors and intense visualization. I did a lot of crying as I let go of my past and let go of false pride.
I was a black sheep of my family, but thankfully working on healing allowed me to forgive myself and others so that I would be left with no anger or regrets. No one is a black sheep, we must learn to validate our own selves. I was solely aiming for self-liberation so that I could concentrate on what I wanted to do with my life. My past experiences left me with regrets, guilt shame and grief. I was in hell now to think of it. I don’t know how I manage to survive my chaotic life, my spiritual retreat within turned things around for me in early 2011.
My birth name was Abdul Mumin Muhammad, well until I got married. Long story short I was born in Trinidad, It's an island located in the Caribbean. As a child I remember playing by myself, it was fun because I liked playing with nature.
As a child, I chased bugs and caught frogs and various nature like activities. I see now why I still love nature, this is where I spend my solitude. I do remember a few associates that I played with from time to time. I only remember one close friend, but he moved away. As you can see I was a loner, I did not fit in school. I learned that I was never supposed to fit in, fit into what? Seeking approval is an illusion; I stopped caring about being liked and the insecure need for attention and approval. Through my journey within I had to work on my self-esteem and confidence. This was my only way to experience God within.
I remember my father playing with me outside, he would even put me on his motorbike. We drove through the bushes, we used to eat sugar canes, and he showed me a lot of cool island tricks. According to my knowledge at a younger age, my mother was a housewife; she stayed home cooked and kept the house clean, I guess this was pretty normal for the Muslim islanders. But I am not sure.
All I remember was her watching soap opera while she was cooking; this was pretty much every day. I moved to the US around 6 years old, I lived in NY and then moved to D.C. I traveled and moved a lot between NY and D.C. I also remember living in New Jersey, Baltimore, and Philly for a little while. Traveling too much as a child is where my reason for my insecurities.
Focusing on healing from spiritual means put me back to my origins, the person who I was born to be. After this experience, I never looked back. Who said that the past was important, it’s only useful to learn lessons so that we keep moving forward. Peace, and bless you all.
Email: innercalmbuddha@gmail.com
Website: https://malachimuccmin8.wixsite.com/selfhelp
Youtube Channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBAv_nrZHiEGNnV8RmpG-xw
Judging /Criticizing The Internal Hell
Abdul Mumin
Judging And Criticizing
My Internal Enemy, the broken heaert.
When the heart is broken, mentally and spiritually disconnected from the heart, this is a hidden grief that humanity normally goes through, because many change after early childhood, separating heart and mind to fit into the superficial world of illusion. Giving up our innocence and childlike humbleness, then replacing it with the conscious mind, the 10% of the brain, the 5 senses, the mind, and the body. This is the hidden continuous self-judgment, trying to fit in or live by superficial standards. Then saying or thinking negative thoughts towards another to feel more good, more right, more successful, justified, entitled, or more happy with ourselves.
Yet babies and children do not identify themselves as the mind, body, external image, or the identity to hide character flaws around others, a persona or mask, this is why they can be themselves without fear of being rejected, or judged.
They can not judge themselves, they would walk outside naked and not be ashamed of themselves, and they trust strangers, this is living consciously, in the Christ Heart, which is Light Heartedness. This is why many still go to church, to hopefully remove guilt to experience eternal forgiveness to heal grief that blocks the heart. We broke our hearts trying to be out there in the world of illusion, we just miss our pure innocent inner child, like what happened?
Humans are given a Conscience after they lose consciousness. So let your Conscience be your guide.
Leaving out of the heart, we end up identifying ourselves as the body, the mind, the thoughts, the personality, the 5 senses, the inflated ego, materials, Shoes, tattoos, fake eyelashes, money, status, and expensive things to express image. Walking around making sure everything is perfect inside and out, acting to not feel embarrassed. The unaware fear of being criticized or judged, it is not always hard to see as we live normal lives. Since the heart is in spiritual grief, many are struggling to love unconditionally and be compassionate, christ heart. We are relearning love and unity. This is the only reason many fight, violence, corruption, greed, and inflated egos exist because of internally judging and criticizing our own selves, trying to prove something, and then humanity does it to others.
I occasionally speak about bliss, and how to
Impressum
Verlag: BookRix GmbH & Co. KG
Tag der Veröffentlichung: 23.07.2019
ISBN: 978-3-7487-1055-4
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