About Me and Contact
Email: innercalmbuddha@gmail.com
Blog https://malachimuccmin8.wixsite.com/selfhelp
Youtube Channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBAv_nrZHiEGNnV8RmpG-xw
My writings are a collection of my thoughts based on my spiritual journey going inwards. This is my point of view, maybe from a narcissist’s point of view, a lone wolf or perhaps a unique conscious mind. Yet...I don't have all of the answers because the truth is our own.
I was dealing with immigration issues so I ended up homeless in 2011. I spent 5 years homeless in Florida with my wife and child. I forced myself to keep doing yoga, tia chi, Wing Chun, chakra healing and later Kundalini yoga to make sure that I stayed Conscious during this hard period. I knew that if I let my homeless experience get to me, I would die or fall asleep and lose my higher awareness.
I now realized that All I wanted was a closer relationship with God. As I began to study myself going inwards, I realized that worry, holding on to my past and attempting to control things were affecting my behavior. I then realized that everything that happened in my past human experiences was supposed to happen, for learning about my behavior so that I could forgive myself and others to evolve in Love.
By letting go I began to recognize the voice of my soul, vs. my sporadic ego, combined with my scattered mind. I also began to see and slowly understand the universe within while growing in divine love. Working on my Chakras helped me experience Self Knowing and a Spiritual Awakening. Accepting that I am a narcissist helped me forgive myself. The attempt to change my personality profile to feel perfect was my worst mistake.
I later realized that I am no different than or exclusive to others, I once thought that I was special. I was the average guy living my life based on what I learned from the outside. I went to public school; I skipped some classes in high school, I only enjoyed writing. I felt like the school system was a boring temporary prison, the program felt to fixed for my taste, not enough personal depth.
I felt like a lost person with no direction because the school didn’t have spiritual or knowledge of self classes. I lived my life going through the motions, avoiding my true feelings because I was trying to be perfect. I was numbing myself, acting out of thoughts then emotions instead of feeling then emotions. I admit that I was not being aware of my spirit, and my psychology. I never thought that I was going to do anything exceptional either.
My spiritual journey, going within and then coming out. This awakening allowed me to see what was happening in my psyche, then seeing the correspondence in my experiences within my created reality. I have been fighting with abandonment issues for years. My journey within put me through many healing experiences with my chakras, such as working with sound and colors and intense visualization. I did a lot of crying as I let go of my past and let go of false pride.
I was a black sheep of my family, but thankfully working on healing allowed me to forgive myself and others so that I would be left with no anger or regrets. No one is a black sheep, we must learn to validate our own selves. I was solely aiming for self-liberation so that I could concentrate on what I wanted to do with my life. My past experiences left me with regrets, guilt shame and grief. I was in hell now to think of it. I don’t know how I manage to survive my chaotic life, my spiritual retreat within turned things around for me in early 2011.
My birth name was Abdul Mumin Muhammad, well until I got married. Long story short I was born in Trinidad, It's an island located in the Caribbean. As a child I remember playing by myself, it was fun because I liked playing with nature.
As a child, I chased bugs and caught frogs and various nature like activities. I see now why I still love nature, this is where I spend my solitude. I do remember a few associates that I played with from time to time. I only remember one close friend, but he moved away. As you can see I was a loner, I did not fit in school. I learned that I was never supposed to fit in, fit into what? Seeking approval is an illusion; I stopped caring about being liked and the insecure need for attention and approval. Through my journey within I had to work on my self-esteem and confidence. This was my only way to experience God within.
I remember my father playing with me outside, he would even put me on his motorbike. We drove through the bushes, we used to eat sugar canes, and he showed me a lot of cool island tricks. According to my knowledge at a younger age, my mother was a housewife; she stayed home cooked and kept the house clean, I guess this was pretty normal for the Muslim islanders. But I am not sure.
All I remember was her watching soap opera while she was cooking; this was pretty much every day. I moved to the US around 6 years old, I lived in NY and then moved to D.C. I traveled and moved a lot between NY and D.C. I also remember living in New Jersey, Baltimore, and Philly for a little while. Traveling too much as a child is where my reason for my insecurities.
Focusing on healing from spiritual means put me back to my origins, the person who I was born to be. After this experience, I never looked back. Who said that the past was important, it’s only useful to learn lessons so that we keep moving forward. Peace, and bless you all.
Email: innercalmbuddha@gmail.com
Website: https://malachimuccmin8.wixsite.com/selfhelp
Youtube Channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBAv_nrZHiEGNnV8RmpG-xw
Making Peace With Ourselves
Edited by Abdul Mumin
Making peace with ourselves including others
As my perception of myself began to evolve, I began to realize that inner peace, feelings of total bliss, completeness, or inner fulfillment still exist within us all. We all have this trait, but it can be challenging to achieve.
I must admit that I have used spiritual practices, even using my creative techniques. I spent time every day studying my state of mind, paying attention to my mental chatter, my personality and behavior patterns, trying to figure out why I had these mental blocks, and of course my curiosity in healing.
I studied and practiced tia chi, yoga, chakra balancing, meditation, teas, Reiki, Hinduism, some African spirituality, Eastern philosophies, metaphysics, Egyptian history, and some mythology. I am not saying to study what I have, just a little background. My desire to let go led me to unconditional love and enjoy the moment. I feel that our inner child is one with unconditional love. Yet. I went through all this stuff just to find God. Climbing the heist mountain, living in a cave, changing my diet, stretching my body, and meditating just to realize that whatever I thought was missing inside, I already had it.
We are spirit first, our humanity is just an experience, to be imperfect than show ourselves that we can improve to experience our best version of ourselves. when we do not learn from life lessons, we experience more hell or suffer from guilt.
Human conditioning has its toll on our well-being, and sadly as time progresses, we create regrets. I had to find a natural way out of my emotional baggage; it was too heavy on my heart, blinding me from seeing that whatever was created was good, my life was already awesome, what did I think was missing again? I recited mantras and a series of affirmations, but this wasn’t always enough, I realized that I also must think positively about myself too, such as accepting that I am a cool person, and there isn’t anything wrong with me at all. I am just a unique individual just as you are. Trying to change me was the issue, so why not just be who I am without labeling myself as good or bad?
These were simply healing through thoughts, being conscious of my random thoughts rather than my actions, and seeing why I needed to correct myself. This led me to trust that I am as perfect as I am without needing constant approval from outside sources. Meditation gave me moments to be conscious of my oneness with the Divine. It hit me hard that to achieve outer peace, I must first experience inner peace. My humanity is filled with various flaws, so how does one become aware of peace within the muck?
First I had to practice every day feeding myself love, respect, and kindness no matter what mistakes I made, especially when others condemned, or ridiculed me. Doing so gave the warm loving feelings about myself without needing others' approval. I was somehow allowed to experience God's nonjudgmental and non-critical feelings to be experienced within me. I remember feeling disconnected from these natural loving feelings.
I am the one responsible for feeling positive about myself, not others.
I once had this bad habit of condemning myself because of my inner flaws and criticizing and judging myself because of expected perfection from myself. I now see that my ideas of perfection were not realistic. I learned that I must learn to accept what is and to always trust what I have done in
Impressum
Verlag: BookRix GmbH & Co. KG
Tag der Veröffentlichung: 13.04.2019
ISBN: 978-3-7487-0169-9
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