About Me and Contact

                                                                                                                                                   

Email:  innercalmbuddha@gmail.com

 

Blog     https://malachimuccmin8.wixsite.com/selfhelp

 

Youtube Channel    https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBAv_nrZHiEGNnV8RmpG-xw

 

 

My writings are a collection of my thoughts based on my spiritual journey going inwards. This is my point of view, maybe from a narcissist’s point of view, a lone wolf or perhaps a unique conscious mind. Yet...I don't have all of the answers because the truth is our own. I wanted to become self aware, knowing myself on an intimate level.

 

I was dealing with immigration issues so I ended up homeless in 2011. I spent 5 years homeless in Florida with my wife and child. I forced myself to keep doing yoga, tia chi, Wing Chun, reiki healing, chakra healing and later Kundalini yoga to make sure that I stayed Conscious, Aware and Grounded during hard times. I knew that if I let my homeless experience get to me, I probably would have died, fell back to sleep or lost my higher awareness.

 

I now realized that All I wanted was a closer relationship with God. As I began to study myself going inwards, I realized that worry, holding on to my past and attempting to control things were affecting my behavior. I then realized that everything that happened in my past human experiences was supposed to happen, for learning about my behavior so that I could forgive myself and others to evolve in Love.

 

By letting go I began to recognize the voice of my soul, vs. my sporadic ego, combined with my scattered mind. I also began to see and slowly understand the universe within while growing in divine love. Working on my Chakras helped me experience Self Knowing and a Spiritual Awakening. Accepting that I am a narcissist helped me forgive myself. The attempt to change my personality profile to feel perfect was my worst mistake.

 

I later realized that I am no different than or exclusive to others, I once thought that I was special. I was the average guy living my life based on what I learned from the outside. I went to public school; I skipped some classes in high school, I only enjoyed writing. I felt like the school system was a boring temporary prison, the program felt to fixed for my taste, just not enough personal depth. I would imagine a good great day at school is when we have a few Harry Potter classes lol.

 

I felt like a lost person with no direction because the school didn’t have spiritual or knowledge of self classes. I lived my life going through motions, avoiding my true feelings because I was trying to be perfect. I was numbing myself, acting out of thoughts then emotions instead of feeling then emotions. I admit that I was not being aware of my spirit, and my psychology. I never thought that I was going to do anything exceptional either.

 

My spiritual journey for me is looking inwards for answers to solve my personal problems. This awakening allowed me to see what was happening in my psyche, then seeing the correspondence in my experiences within my created reality. How my past was always shaping my future, I had to rewire my entire mind to be in control of myself again. I have been fighting with abandonment issues for years. My journey within put me through many healing experiences with my chakras, such as working with sound and colors and intense visualization. I did a lot of crying as I let go of my past and let go of false pride.

 

I was a black sheep of my family, but thankfully working on healing allowed me to forgive myself and others so that I would be left with no anger or regrets. No one is a black sheep, we must learn to validate our own selves. I was solely aiming for self-liberation so that I could concentrate on what I wanted to do with my life. My past experiences left me with regrets, guilt shame and grief. I was in hell now to think of it. I don’t know how I manage to survive my chaotic life, my spiritual retreat within turned things around for me in early 2011.

 

My birth name was Abdul Mumin Muhammad, well until I got married. Long story short I was born in Trinidad, It's an island located in the Caribbean. As a child I remember playing by myself, it was fun because I liked playing with nature.

 

As a child, I chased bugs and caught frogs and various nature like activities. I see now why I still love nature, this is where I spend my solitude. I do remember a few associates that I played with from time to time. I only remember one close friend, but he moved away. As you can see I was a loner, I did not fit in school. I learned that I was never supposed to fit in, fit into what? Seeking approval is an illusion; I stopped caring about being liked and the insecure need for attention and approval. Through my journey within I had to work on my self-esteem and confidence. This was my only way to experience God within.

 

I remember my father playing with me outside, he would even put me on his motorbike. We drove through the bushes, we used to eat sugar canes, and he showed me a lot of cool island tricks. According to my knowledge at a younger age, my mother was a housewife; she stayed home-cooked and kept the house clean, I guess this was pretty normal for the Muslim islanders. But I am not sure.

 

All I remember was her watching soap opera while she was cooking; this was pretty much every day. I moved to the US around 6 years old, I lived in NY and then moved to D.C. I traveled and moved a lot between NY and D.C. I also remember living in New Jersey, Baltimore, and Philly for a little while. Traveling too much as a child is where my reason for my insecurities. 

 

 Focusing on healing from spiritual means put me back to my origins, the person who I was born to be. After this experience, I never looked back. Who said that the past was important, it’s only useful to learn lessons so that we keep moving forward. Peace, and bless you all.

 

Email:  innercalmbuddha@gmail.com

 

Blog     https://malachimuccmin8.wixsite.com/selfhelp

 

Youtube Channel    https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBAv_nrZHiEGNnV8RmpG-xw

 

 

 

 

 

Relate

By Abdul Mumin  

 

Relationships

It's about relating

 

 

My emotional well-being was the key to a deeper intimate relationship. When I paid attention to her pain during an argument, I noticed how we relate. I gave her my empathetic ear. The pain that my wife had that I couldn't relate to, I showed her sympathy. Finding someone that can relate to our pain and vice versa is the true bond and lasting connection. Our pain is what drives us because pain shaped our personalities.

 

We may not always agree with each other on everything, but we all have something that we can relate to.

 

This was not easy because I used to be very selfish, I had to go on a path to inner healing to become better in my relationships because I was not given enough attention in my past. I always felt like nobody cared. This was a negative thought pattern that I had to outgrow. I was also afraid of commitment because I was afraid to get close. I lost a best friend which caused me grief.

 

In relationships, both parties have a need to feel secure with each other, but we must first be able to feel secure about who we are first. This builds trust and loyalty regardless of the relationship type. Relationships are simply about relating. When both parties open up to each other, we create a space to relate, this allows room for bonding. My big ego was causing me to be self-absorbed, I only saw the world through my beliefs. I saw myself as exclusive, so I had a hard time seeing how others were very similar to me. I always needed to feel and seem very different than others, so I ignored others as if they were not important.

 

The Heart Chakra and Sacral Chakra are very important in this area. The heart chakra is our love center, unconditional love, and compassion. The sacral chakra is about feeling vulnerable so that we open up to others. The Throat Chakra is about communication, honesty, and truth, this is important because, without honesty and clear communication, the relationship will go nowhere.

 

I learned why it was important for me to open up, being honest about what I like and dislike, what I want and do not. I also talked about my sexuality, therefore there was no room for uncomfortable surprises. This way I or she would not feel left out, expressing myself freely and being upfront helped a lot. Also, I talked about my morals, values, and beliefs. We are all humans beings with mental, physical, spiritual and emotional needs. We have our own feelings that others may relate to.

 

Self-love is being comfortable with expressing all of who we are, the good and the bad without shame. Even if I have a personality disorder, I am fully comfortable with that. Either one would accept me or not, this is fine with me. Another important thing is to talk about our insecurities and our past experiences. Our emotional baggage eventually will show up, we don’t need someone rejecting us months or years later because we constantly hide our insecurities by lashing out. Talking about our past experiences likes and dislikes helps us relate.

 

I had to let go of my mask and personas. My (acting) to cover up my personality flaws. Even if I did not feel cool because of others, I must still love and accept me for me. This is why I know from my experience that learning to be vulnerable with others is very important. If someone doesn’t like or approve of me, then it is their right to have their own opinions. Showing all of who we are helps us relate.

 

Now if you are lucky, they may open up about their past experiences which then allows us to see how we really relate. This is a healthy start because whenever one gets emotional or angry, we can nurture them because we understand their pain, instead of getting scared, angry, or defensive. By refusing to relate we will judge or criticize them for their mistakes, that’s not unconditional love.

 

This is saying I am more good, always right, smarter or better than you.

 

This is why I feel relationships are not competitions; it is strictly teamwork, a union that can grow stronger in time because love in relationships can always mature. I learned more about who I am from paying attention to my past experiences with others. I am speaking of all relationships types because we help uplift each other instead of beat each other down mentally, spiritually or emotionally.

Impressum

Verlag: BookRix GmbH & Co. KG

Tag der Veröffentlichung: 26.10.2016
ISBN: 978-3-7396-8039-2

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