Divorce

The Mother had her eyes fixed on the small baby in her arms, it’s tiny hands, the small little cry that came along with it, it was such a beautiful thing, such a beautiful image, so Clara thought to herself.  If anything the Mother was more happy to be done with the labor process.  Her friend Nicky, was who the Mother was.  More than anything did Clara desire a baby, but out of many people in the world, her body just wouldn’t accept it.

 

Sometimes life happens to turn you around on corners, sometimes sharp corners, but life can’t be perfect can it? 

 

Clara happened to be twenty, she was married, she had no lit fire between him and her, or the fact that she couldn’t have kids, but nor did her husband wish to have kids.  So here she was being the supporter to this woman while she split like a watermelon.  Clara wanted a baby so badly, but she just got with the wrong man.

 

…

 

The door made a loud squeak as she pushed it open.  Not a single time has she come home with someone to at least be there for her, ask her how the day went, honestly it was rough.  After her friend split, she walked home in the cold alone, to top that off on the entire evening, she got fired from her job before her friend’s melon decided to break.  

 

She tied her long red hair back into a ponytail after setting a box down onto her bed.  Honestly, her love life hasn’t been going well too much.  Her husband hasn’t come back from a business trip, he was supposed to be gone for a month, turns out Vegas just keeps him, and the money just keeps sinking.  For some time the woman thought that maybe he really was doing something important, changing people’s lives, until she got the bill for the strippers he’s been seeing.

 

Clara slowly sat down on the floor next the the edge of the bed, her box wasn’t far from her head either.  She kept rubbing her face with her hands trying to relax herself from the long stressful day, first the job, then her friend, now she comes home to an empty house and a lost husband who doesn’t answer his calls.  If anything she wished he was dead.

 

In 1999, she was born on a chilly day.  December 1st.  Her parents were an unknown resource, but besides that, she and her cheating husband had been married for three years after a mishap.  Well the mishap considered to be a miscarriage, but as her husband acknowledges it, it was just something that should have never happened, it ruined his life some how.  Then she recalls it in her mind, playing it over and over, how happy he was when it was his, alive.

 

Not all things were happy though, just because people have a smile doesn’t mean it carries happiness.  She had considered herself lucky that he hadn't sent her the papers for a divorce, if the chance of happiness was available, if it was that baby she lost that could refill her life with her husband, laughter, something other than silence, then she’d do nothing more than to sweep the opportunity up.  Except, here she was, alone and sorry for herself.  More than anything, she just wanted to get pay back on the bastard for leaving her for some strippers in Vegas, but it’s not like she could prove it was him spending the money, although she had millions of receipts for his sudden..mishaps so he always calls it.

 

The red headed woman let this long frail groan out, she had not a single person to lean on, by the end of the day, she was just Clara, no Mrs. on it, or Clara Francis added to her last name.  It had suddenly made her feel single.  Being single after school really sucked, because all of her friends had gone off, got hitched, marrying boys who most likely liked the skinny jeans or boobs practically popping out of their chest, or some had just turned into melons harboring the next generation.

 

Life just goes on without you.  She finally accepted that.  More than anything she just wanted someone to reach for her, help her out of this dark space inside her mind, without her husband she had been trying to regain control of herself, find something within herself to take grip of.  Rather it was reality, or pretend, she enjoyed both.  Pretending that she was never pregnant was hard, but having a room still untouched, a room filled with nothing but baby things, it just all sat in there.  Playing reality, she just had to accept that her husband was neither coming back, nor going to pay her back any of the money that he had taken from the joint account.

 

As her mind kept racing, as she kept sitting there dreading marrying that sorry excuse of a man, she realized that the time had certainly flown by.  A long yawn followed along with a loud moan from her back being pressed against the end of the bed for quite some time, but not only that she had hit her head on the box above her head.

 

Clara slipped that oversized sweatshirt off, along with her pants, no point in pretending to be casual, it wasn’t like anyone else was there to interrupt her from this parting of her garments.  Her mirror made her look like she had aged a little, but it was just the nightmares that she had to face every night alone.  Sleep had been an issue for her.

 

A tiny growl came from her the more she kept looking at herself in the mirror.  Those stretch marks, it was like an engraved milestone of her life.  For a moment she wanted to just call him again, see if he’d get her message this time.  He probably hasn’t even looked at his phone messages, or any calls he missed.  

 

So once more she went to bed without anyone joining her for this nightly routine.

 

….

 

Clara quickly straightened her hair, unplugged the straightener, then quickly went onto the next stage.  The makeup covered her beautiful laugh lines and freckles.  The bags under her eyes were now hidden.  She slipped her contacts out and put her game changer face on, taking on those big glasses.  Now she looked like she was ready for a fight.

 

Today, she was going out, finding that lawyer, and she was going to divorce his ass. It didn’t matter where he was at the moment, she was going to find him, she was going to personally give him the envelope.  One deep breath, and she was ready, but she was hesitating to take that breath.  Her hands gripped the sinks faucet, she was going to try shaking herself from the reality part.  It was finally happening, she thought.  After spending so much time in bed, depressed, letting the thoughts carry her away, she has finally just made a choice.

 

There was no excuse for him, she finally made up her mind.  The house was aching, aching for love, just like her empty heart, and she needed to move on to feel something other than that ache.  The curtains would come down, the shades that have been beholding dust would also drift once more around the house, everything that was in the fridge, which was nothing but moldy foods.

 

She had already checked the fridge, to at least see if there was something she could munch on, but that’s when the woman finally came to her senses that maybe this life she kept living over and over wasn’t healthy.  Her husband, Brendon, wasn’t coming back, so it was just time, no matter how many times she tried finding a reason to stay with him.

 

An Hour Later.

 

“Excuse me? Miss.  Cherry?”

 

“Uh, it is Mrs..”

 

“Oh I am so sorry!”

 

“No, no-”

 

The woman had finally looked up from her file, her eyes scanning over her victim.  “So you are Mrs.  Francis?”

 

Quite the way to start things Clara beamed, but she wouldn’t dare say it out loud to her.  Lilith casually sat down, admiring a bit of the taste this woman has for clothing, what else could she do? It was her first time filing a divorce.  “Well, what exactly are you getting in for? I mean what are you looking to get?”

 

“I just..want to get a head start before he sends papers, well I don’t know if he ever will, but let's start with the house..”

 

“No kids-”

 

The smile that had been on her face since this morning was starting to falter quite fast, “excuse me..”

 

Before breaking into complete tears in the middle of a restaurant, she went to the bathroom to hide herself away until she was in a better mood again to talk to the woman.  When she had returned, the woman was sitting reading the newspaper, her glasses stubbed up to her eyebrows and her lips pursed as she kept grimacing over the lines.  Clara took her seat again though, trying at least to be silent.  “I’m glad you came back, I was about to ask someone to fetch a rope for me Mrs.  Francis.”

 

“I do apologize.  I just had something come up.”

 

“Now, shall we continue this conversation? Or do you need to get another tissue?”

 

How did the woman know? She pondered.  Even though she was reading the newspaper, it never occured to Clara that she may have spotted her crying as she left the table.  “It is..okay to cry I mean, obviously it is a touchy subject.  So there are no kids involved, this doesn’t make things too complicated, that just leaves the house.  Tell me the reason you wish to divorce.”

 

“My husband..has been in Vegas..dwindling my account since he left, and there has been no pay checks from him going into the account.”

 

She opened her purse and pulled out some receipts.  Finally the woman who looked about maybe fourty, on the edge, she smacked the newspaper down making the papers flap up and into the seat next to her.  “Oh..I am sorry.”

 

Clara was used to this, she hiccuped just a tiny bit though because of how sudden the woman had made her jump, and her hands kept fumbling for those receipts.  “Do you have any other family Mrs.  Francis? This may be a hard time for you, it is best that you have-”

 

“No, I don’t, but I think I’m done here, maybe we could continue some time else.  At this moment I think I should find myself a new job.  This was just silly for me to come here and think I could just ask for help.”

 

The feeling of another mistake started to dwindle into her thoughts.  “I promise, things will get easier for you Mrs.  Francis, but right now you need to get yourself together.”

 

“I can’t, you may not know me, but I have been waiting three years to divorce him, after I lost the baby all he wishes to do is go on fake business trips just to get away from me.  He doesn’t send me a lawyer, of course not, that would involve him getting a job.  Hell, I don’t even think he has a job! He takes a supposed trip, a month, it’s been a month and he’s still gone? Does that make any sense? Yet I am the one who is supposed to stay in the house with not a single soul to help me out.”

 

Her hands smacked down onto the receipts, she put her big girl boss pants on today, “I’m looking to divorce my husband, and leave his sorry ass wherever he is..and maybe some part of me just wishes that he is somewhere deep underneath the ground, but as of right now my credit card is being declined every time I go to use it!”

 

“Well then, I think that settles things.  I will get things arranged Mrs.  francis.  We will talk some more later.”

 

The lady looked like she was going to suggest marriage counseling as soon as this file had come up, but hearing this woman yearning for relief of her blood sucker, she just couldn’t look her in the face and say it.  The name somehow had rang a bell, she couldn’t fit it into place, so that was also the reason she was going to help the poor woman out.

 

Now that those pig girl pants were used, she nervously gathered her things and quickly left the restaurant, now heading home to look online for a new job.  Her heels clicked as she hurried to her car, when suddenly someone yanked her elbow.  Now she was falling backwards and facing the woman she had just met inside the restaurant.  “I don’t mean to seem like a loser Mrs.  Francis, but do you mind giving me a ride?”

 

Did this woman take her as a bum? Was that why she was asking for a lift? “I promise it is only a block away, I just need to report back to work.  Honestly I’d call for a cab but I don’t think my whistle is quite on the mark if you understand what I mean.”

 

Clara uttered a few words as she managed to swing herself around before slamming into a fire hydrant.  This lady was kind of creeping her out now, she had spilled her whole life story, well that’s a bit of bullshit, but she had told the woman a sappy story, and how she wants her sad relationship to end, with a divorce.  Now this lady is yanking her by the elbow hoping for a lift?

It came to mind that if she said no, that maybe this lawyer wouldn’t help her out, so she just smiled more, “I don’t see why not.”

 

“By the way, nice save, you almost hit the hydrant.”

 

Really? Clara almost snapped at her, this woman was now getting on her nerves, which was also something she didn’t want to add to the list of how shitty her life was turning out to be.  “Look, please don’t judge me,” Clara began, while opening her passenger door.  There were teddy bears sitting in the passenger seat.  “As long as you keep it to yourself and don’t tell me you talk to them..I won’t judge.”

 

“Great.  Well in that case I’ll move them, and you can sit there.”

 

It made June smile to see her client was kind of childish, when her driver had finally gotten into the driver’s seat, she had questioned her about the teddy bears.  Even though it made her feel uncomfortable to talk about them, she began.

 

“Well you see, they belonged to a friend of mine, she had no use for them, I was pregnant in high school, and since I had no parents, I was mostly on my own.  Things weren’t cheap, and preparing for the baby alone was hell.  So my friend offered to help.”

 

“Where was your husband at that time?”

 

For a clear second, the woman looked tired, she didn’t want to talk about him so badly, of course she still loved him, but it was hurting her at this point.  “He was at a university, trying to get into a basketball league, obviously you can see how things ended up.  He is a man who loves nothing but naked women rubbing up against him, and I am at home all the time alone.  That’s just..how things work out sometimes I suppose.”

 

“I don’t mean to bug you, into your life situation, I’m sorry if I made you irritated.”

 

“No, at this point my life needs a new start, so if I need to expose somewhat of my past then I think it should start with the beginning.”

 

That was a complete white lie she had just blurted out, Clara was far from okay.  “You said you were looking for a job?”

 

“Yes, I uh, just job searching that’s all.”

 

“That sounds like fun.”

 

As this lawyer sits with fancy looking glasses, nice shoes, and a suit that Clara would die to have, “yeah..so much fun.”

 

Clara rolled up to the center where the lady wished to be let off to, but she shook her head, “wrong place.”

 

“Really? I thought you said it was just around the corner.”

 

“It was, just a little ways yet.”

 

The woman started regretting letting this woman hitch a ride.  She yawned and began slightly drifting to sleep at the wheel, but the woman smacked her before she could go farther to the side of the street and smack into a car parked to the side.  “It is only twenty five down this road Clara, I think maybe you should take a bus home or something.  Get some sleep?”

 

“I’m fine.  I slept all night, I should be fine now.”

 

She says this as she’s trying to rub her eyes open.  Taking the ladies advice was the least she was worried about, the bus had never seemed like a very nice thing to get on board with.  The germs, or even the people who eat and just leave things on the floor.  Then she began thinking, what if she fell asleep and missed her stop!? She nervously laughed and glanced at the woman, “I’m fine, but thanks.”

 

“I once had a child, I had given it up for adoption before I could even tell what the sex of the baby was.  If you feel terrible because you lost something, don’t, it’s better than regretting a decision.  I think there is hope for you Mrs.  Francis, even when it seems like there is none.  You just need to find someone who will care.”

Clara smiled warmly, she would have found it offensive of what the woman had said, because she had been abandoned as a baby, but it made her feel happy to know that at least someone’s Mother regretted it.  “Well thank you Miss.  Cherry.”

 

“Once more, I will tell you, it is Mrs.  Not Miss.”

 

“I’m sorry..”

 

“You are welcome though.”

 

“How old are you, may I ask?”

 

“Thirty nine.”

 

She parked the car after the woman appointed where she needed to go.  Clara didn’t unlock the car, she just stared at the woman, “really? That is your age?”

 

“My..you young folks don’t understand.  It is rude to ask of someone’s age.  If you must really know I am not thirty nine.  I am forty.”

 

She didn’t know which one was believable.  “Now, may I ask your age, Clara?”

 

“Well, sure why not? I’m young afterall..” she could tell that the joke wasn’t funny, her smile faltered, “I’m twenty.”

 

“Twenty!?”

 

“Twenty, yes, I believe I just said that.”

 

“And you married young??”

 

“Yes, and almost had a baby when I was younger than I am now.  I guess falling in love for the wrong person..just happens, soon, come and go like a memory.”

 

“When were you born?”

 

Clara knew what she was getting at, the possibility? No, no, she can’t just meet a stranger and assume that every person she meets will be someone important, she had her hopes of a very long time ago, and clearly this woman couldn’t be her Mother.  So she just laughed before allowing herself to come to the terms of how serious this woman was.  “Well if you must know, It was on the 1st of December.  1999.”

 

“just two years before the twin towers fell.”

 

Mrs.  Cherry leaped with pride, she snapped her seat belt away and quickly took off with the files and laptop bag that was loosely swinging by her side.  “What a silly woman,” Clara dreamily thought.  

 

Instead of finding another job, she had fallen asleep at the wheel, still in that parking lot where she left the woman.  Of course she didn’t think anything of it, being towed, but when she felt the car jerk, she quickly snapped herself awake, grabbed her keys, started the car up, and before the guy could latch her, she zoomed away.  

 

Such regrets of dropping her off started piling into her head.  She got home safe though, she got out, opened the backseat door of her jeep, then pulled out the stuffed bears.  Of course, there had been only one spot for these two bears, and it certainly was not the floor of the backseat.

 

This interesting day had her singing around the house, opening the blinds, and watching the sunset with a can of beer in her left hand.  No, she understood she wasn’t of age, but with all the shit she had been through, it had taken her a few bribes for one of her ex coworkers to buy her a drink after work one night, she saved this can just for the day that she’d start changing, start opening up.

 

Being a lightweight of course though, had turned her a tad bit goofy.  Fridge still had nothing in it, and she was so hungry, the only thing that she could eat inside the fridge was probably butter from last year.  Butter didn’t seem like a healthy meal at the time before this little happy hour moment, but Clara couldn’t stand being hungry and drunk.  Her hands gripped the fridge doors, and she pulled them both open, casting her eyes to the prey, what she was seeing was completely different to what a sober person would be seeing.  Her right hand snatched the goofy looking butter, she let this small giggle out before unwrapping it…then-  

 

Ding!

 

Ding!

 

Ding!

 

Before she could eat her friend the butter,  she was interrupted.  The woman didn’t bother putting anything on but a robe, she couldn’t remember when she had gotten undressed, but it happened.  So she went to the door of course with her robe on.  

 

The door appeared to be cracked with Clara peeking out to see who this stranger was beeping at her door.  “Hello?” Clara whispered.  “Uh..Clara..I have come to ask you some questions.”

 

She opened the door more, seeing who exactly this voice was coming from, Mrs.  Cherry.  She had a bright smile.  If Clara wasn’t drunk, then everything this woman was about to say would make more sense, but all Clara heard was that she needed a blood sample.  Haha, being the idiot that she was at the moment, the stick of butter in one hand, her grumbling stomach, the robe that was starting to drift off her shoulders and slide off her completely, well, she went to the kitchen, grabbed a knife, pricked her finger.

 

June was waiting in the living room, feeling more than anxious, not realizing that the girl was completely drunk, not until she came back with the blood, lots of blood sliding down her hand, “is this good enough? I thought I would just prick my finger, but then it kinda..fell..”

 

Nervously June laughed, “maybe we should get you to the hospital..that..was more of my idea.”

 

Clara didn’t know how this woman knew where she lived, but maybe it was the connections she had? She must have been really good friends with a police officer or something.  Or maybe she was looking into finding her daughter before Clara had mentioned it the same day they met.  June helped Clara to her car, and she was now realizing how calm the girl was.  “Uh, why aren’t you freaking out?”

As dumb as the moment was, Clara lifted her feet up, making her robe slip down finally, “I got something on my feet!”

 

There was nothing wrong with her feet, June thought, then she went to look back at her face but of course, the girl’s boobs, they weren’t big to say HELLO!! But they were big enough to make June wince and say GOODBYE! She hesitated before grabbing her robe and double knotting it shut, “why are you naked!?”

 

“Because I’m alone in my house!” She whined back.  “Well..” June began, but she stopped after seeing her hand which was bleeding immensely.  Hospital, or go make her change? She weighed the options.

 

Clara was letting out lots of huffs now, then finally June made an important decision.  “Go get dressed.  Come back quickly, and I will drive you to the hospital.”

 

Being in the state she was in, June couldn’t tell if she was really in pain, or if she may have been in pain, why wasn’t she in pain? It dawned on her fast that the girl was obviously drinking.  June followed her inside again, seeing how many cans were off to the side.  It looked like only three, but did she take them all in one day? 

 

Clara came back downstairs looking a lot better now, and the pain was officially starting to get to her, including a horrible hangover.  She could now recall that she had been up all night drinking, that her lawyer showed up because she had given her the street address in the file work.  “Number one rule Mrs.  Francis, never drink alone.”

 

It didn’t seem like she had a choice, but June was sure that the girl had some friends she could always turn to.  “Right..shit, I’m sorry, just um,” she rummaged through her pockets.  “No, you keep your money Clara, I’m sure it will get into my bank account somehow, but for now you must get something clean..or something edible inside your fridge.”

 

Clara noticed that she had dumped a lot of things out into the trash, “I am so sorry, you didn’t need to clean my fridge out-”

 

“Not now Mrs.  Francis, let’s just go get you to the hospital.”

“Right..my keys-”

 

“No, don’t you worry about driving, I will take that role, you just sit back and relax.”

 

Hearing that from another person was starting to make her sound lazy, she did too much of that already.  Clara groaned while pulling herself to the car again.  This time she at least sobered up, somewhat.  “Why did you show up so early, Mrs.  Cherries?”

 

“Well that’s the time I set for the next meeting Clara, if you would have read your phone messages.”

 

“I’m sorry,” she blubbered out, before glancing down at her finger.  “Right, you said something about a blood test or..something?”

 

“Actually a DNA test, no worries though I think they will have enough blood to work with.”

 

She says this only to help Clara, obviously the girl has no brain, who cuts themselves with a knife after just asking for a tiny blood sample? Ask and you shall receive June thought.  Clara gathered her things around while holding her hand still to her left side.  “So you are driving then? May I ask you to be very careful? The Jeep is kind of touchy.”

 

“I’m sure it will be fine.”

 

They got into the jeep, Clara holding the teddy bear, a couple times she got a look from June, but she didn’t mind the look, she was just waiting for the woman to turn the car on.  It took a few moments for her to get it started as Clara bled all over her lap.  “Okay, it’s started..”

 

“It’s about time, June.”

 

“Well your car, it’s different from mine.”

 

“You have a car but you didn’t use it?”

 

“I never use it, my husband always has the car.  He drops me off at work, then the rest of the ways I take the bus.  Saves me from buying another car Clara.”

 

“I suppose that works..”

 

The woman drove Clara to the hospital, where they both took a blood test, and Clara got stitches, more than anything the poor girl wished her husband would pick up his phone, she stared at her wrapped injured thumb while holding her phone sideways.  “This has been a day Clara, now I think we should split off, the test results should be in soon anyways.”

 

June just wanted to check, she looked a lot like her after all, Clara though looked miserable, so she couldn’t tell a fly to an ant at the moment.  Her phone just kept beeping waiting for her to return back to reality.  Finally she tipped her head up to acknowledge June, “uh yeah, what?”

 

Her eyes glanced at the phone, “Clara, are you serious about this divorce?”

 

“No, I am not June, but I am just ready.  Now let’s just go.”

 

….

 

Unraveled.

 

They both professionally sat in the living room, the test came back, it was a match, but still at the moment Clara was adding up what she owed the woman before even getting her boats a float.  She kept glancing up at the woman then back down at her big piggy bank, “there is over ten thousand inside this piggy bank, would you like me to break it?”

 

“You have all this money and you weren’t using it to feed yourself?”

 

“Well, shit happens, right now, I am paying you.  Hopefully my husband doesn’t come back before getting that damn envelope though.”

 

“It’s going to be just fine, in the meantime, maybe we should have coffee some time.”

 

“That sounds..good, is there a specific place?”

 

“Don’t you worry about the place, or the price.  Just let me help.”

 

Clara watched as she stood up, her coat not far from the ground now, “it was nice to meet you Clara.  I hope that we can get to know each other in nicer terms.”

 

“I hope so too.”

 

It was getting too quiet for June, she looked around the house some more, “how about I take you out tonight? I heard your stomach was rumbling earlier.  I’d hate for you to pass away overnight before getting to know you a lot better, then maybe I could help you find a job?”

 

Clara would have told her now, that they had stepped over the boundaries, but out of all people in the entire world, her Mother ended up being her lawyer.  Honestly she was more than hyped about it, her Mother turned out to be a nice paid woman who has a husband.  “I’d love that!” Her eyes lit up, it had been a while since she had gone out with someone, not a date or in a romantic way, she just needed out of the house.  

 

So Clara went out with June, they sat at a table reading labels of food from the menu, Clara couldn’t help but beam into how much the food was.  “No bother Clara, just let me get it.”

 

Clara tipped her glasses to her nose giving the lady a serious look, but her silly act ended shortly after noticing her best friend coming in with her husband and the baby.  Her stomach turned into a big knot.  “Oh my goodness! Clara!?”

 

It’s not like she gets out much, so seeing her out at a restaurant with someone was very surprising to the young couple.  “Ohh..hey Nicky.  Mike..”

 

She wasn’t going to look at the baby, her eyes fixed onto the menu once again.  “So, being that you are my God parent of the baby, could you watch over him?”

 

“M-me? N-now?”

 

Now she got Clara’s full attention.  “Well you see we were planning on having a date tonight.”

 

“I..”

 

“Sorry, but she is busy tonight,” June stood up, holding her hand out to the woman, “hi, I’m June, Clara’s Mother, at the moment I am feeding her because she hasn’t eaten in over a week, and her doctor said it isn’t healthy.  At the moment Clara and I are getting to know each other.”

 

“This is your Mom?”

 

“Well, if I’m sure Clara wouldn’t mind babysitting her just for a couple hours,” Mike followed along after.  “Plus he gots everything he needs, Clara.”

 

June kept giving a look to Clara, she couldn’t say no, if she did a whole lot of drama would start, but she couldn’t bear to look at this baby not now, not after what her three years have been like.  “I’d love to-”

 

“Then it’s settled.  Here he is, and we will be across the street at the movies.”

 

“N-no I mean-” She began to stutter as they walked right on off leaving the baby sitting next to her.  They walked right out of the restaurant, it was like they knew she was there and so happened to just dump off their baby on her just to go out and watch a movie.  Clara couldn’t think again, her mind jumbled.  “Clara, are you okay with this?” June tried reaching out to her, getting her attention to come back.  “I’m fine..”

 

The tiny thing started balling it’s eyes out, “well I sure would have loved to..stay but it seems I have babysitting to do.  I’ll..just go home.”

 

“No, I don’t think you should drop what you're doing now just because they dumped their baby on you.”

 

“No, it’s fine..I am just going to go home and put him to bed.”

 

In the crib that her husband never built.  She steadily got up, “thanks for this though, it was nice, but I think it should end here tonight, I’m sorry if your husband couldn’t make it in time to meet me but now I got something else to do with my time other than sit around, or bother people with my burdens,” Clara held in her sob, but she carried a smile.  “He is your Father..and I will let him know of this sudden intrusion.”

 

Her eyes focused on the way Clara had looked, so tired, her eyes looked gray, but the green still reflected a little, but June was thinking it may have been her glasses making that effect.  “I’m sorry though, really I am, maybe next week we could get together and have a coffee?”

 

“Right, yes..”

 

June couldn’t think that well either now, her daughter wasn’t in the best shape that she had hoped.  The girl looked as if the world had crumbled, just she had no stains or dirt to report on herself.  “Clara, maybe I could do a take out for you?”

 

“No, I’m okay, I uh, just need to get home.”

 

Her phone buzzed, more than anything she wanted to pick it up, except she couldn’t reach it, not with the baby being held in its little carrier.  So she made the choice to set the baby back down.  She didn’t want to seem eager, but her right hand snatched the phone and looked at her voice mail inbox, a voice mail from her soon to be ex.  A couple times she eyed June, “will you watch him for a moment?”

 

The lady watched her go without having a say in whether or not she was going to watch the baby, but it proceeded to cry and more people kept looking.  Clara came back to the table quicker though, pissed off actually.  “He won’t sign the damn papers.”

 

With that, she picked up the baby and left the restaurant.  She didn’t think, the streets at night were busy, and in the emotional state of being, she was a mess.  He wasn’t going to sign the papers, leaving her with the house still, and a cheating bastard of a husband who won’t leave her because she has money.  Clara owned her own business, though she had to quit because things were getting off hand, like her employees not doing their jobs, but besides that, she had an empire, now it’s all crumbling.  The taxes for the property would be due soon, not to mention the payment of the house, so far she’s broke.  

 

Not once did she think of coddling, or trying to soothe the baby, she just sat it in the backseat behind her passenger seat, then she hopped into the front driver seat.  There the two really cried, until a police officer came over knocking on her window making her jump for the lock button, but after looking up to see his face, she calmed down very fast.  Clara started the car and opened the window, her glasses were fogged up by the heat of her face.  “Uh ma’am, I just wanted you to..know, your parking meter is flagged, so..”

 

The more this man looked at her, he could tell it certainly wasn’t her night and the baby wouldn’t stop crying in the backseat, “is there anything I can help you with?”

 

Literally this man was handsome, almost ready to start flirting because he didn’t see a ring, but being on duty was a chance he wasn’t going to take just to get fired, but she stared up at him, questioning him somehow, almost daring him to help her in some way.  “N-no, officer, this baby just so happens to be my friend’s,” her voice came out wavy.  “Have you tried holding him?”

 

Clara leaned more into the headrest, “honestly, no, I haven’t.  I haven’t because I can’t do it.”

 

“You can’t do what? Where are its parents tonight?”

 

There was no way he was about to ask if she was drinking because of her sobbing, or the fact her face was all bright and flustered.  Clara tipped her glasses up, “I’m sorry,” she began saying before grabbing out a few quarters from her cup holder.  “Will this be enough?”

 

Really it was a dollar, she had fifty cents, he could tell she obviously didn’t have money to pay for it, “don’t worry about it ma’am, tonight, just drop that baby off, and go home.  Rest maybe?”

 

Everyone said the same thing, but Clara understood herself, if she were to rest, she wouldn’t want to wake up, she’d close her eyes and forget about her nightmares.  “You're right, but the couple I’m babysitting for actually is in the theater, so I’m really just waiting I guess for them to come out.”

 

The cop took his flashlight, lifting it up to her window, peering more into the car, “what’s your name?”

 

“Clara..I um..I-”

 

“Well Clara, with the condition you are in right now, the law states that you have to at least be able to drive without feeling drowsy, or drunk.  I guess what I am asking you tonight, are you drunk, or drowsy? Have you been drinking?”

 

“N-no!! No!” She scrambled for her license, then she showed him her age, “I-I can’t drink yet..I mean maybe a few times I have just one beer, but this is it officer, my license.”

 

“You wouldn’t mind if I take that really quick, do you?”

 

“I guess not?” Was she flirting back with him? Clara shocked herself far more than the man looked surprised of her age.  Did she think she was old? She shook her head trying to erase the thought of people thinking she was older than twenty, but if so, she really needed to up her game.  The guy came back with her tiny plastic card.  “Well, Clara, I appreciate your time.  Also the quarters,” he pointed to her right hand, “keep them.”

 

He was more concerned about her other hand, which didn’t look like she could use the thumb clearly at the moment.  Maybe that’s what her melt down was about? Or the baby problem that got dumped on her? Even though it was creepy to just want to know more, he shrugged this off his shoulders and left her sitting once more alone.  

 

Because of this encouragement from the officer, she got out of her car, slammed that door, went to the other side, got the baby out and walked herself right on over to the theater.  Of course she was pissed off, well more likely she decided that’s how she was going to be tonight, very angry with her friend.  The baby continued to cry, but Clara had no intentions on babysitting for Nicky.  When the lights turned on because of her interruption, she caught the eyes of the two in the top left corner making out.  “Take your fucking baby Nicky, I am not playing babysitter just because you want to go out and have fun.  I got a life, now get yours straightened out!”

 

Nicky began saying something but Clara’s stomping of her feet made her shut her mouth, “you don’t use friends like this.  Tonight I was supposed to be dining with my parents, and I think instead of babysitting your baby, I will go and join them once more!”

 

Her stomach let a very loud grumble out, except there was no time to think of food, well actually there was, but right at the moment she was telling her friend off.  Glad the movie so happened to be over though, she would have felt like shit.  

 

Nicky got up from her seat and took her baby into her arms, “your right Clara..I am sorry.”

 

She had noticed Clara’s red eyes from the melt down she had in the car, she was seeing her friend without makeup on to cover how exhausted she was.  The woman had worked her life away after high school, first the baby, then college, but she got out of college to marry Brendon, and now here she was, devastated.  “I’m happy you found your parents though Clara..”

 

“Stop talking to me, we are ending this in a fight tonight, understand?? We don’t just make up after this, you will draw a line, find a real babysitter.”

 

Feeling more relieved, Clara really did just leave it at that, she tipped her head up, holding her stance, soaking in all the relief of just yelling at a person for once to get her shit together.  It was like she had given her own advice at the same time.  Even though her eyes were stained red, she went back into the restaurant. 

 

June was not sitting alone, Nolan was sitting with her.  It seemed like they were having a serious conversation, so she didn’t feel like intruding, but she had already caught their eyes.  “Clara? I thought you went home.”

 

“I couldn’t take down the offer,” she sighed while making her way over to them.  “The baby?”

 

“Um, well, I happened to give it back to his parents.”

 

They could tell she had been crying for some time, her face still flustered.  “So, are you okay now? I mean, you're good?”

 

“Y-yeah, I’m fine.”

 

Clara took her seat then held her hand out to the man, he genuinely took her hand.  “So you are our daughter.”

“I guess I am.”

 

“Well, how old are you?”

 

“Twenty.”

 

“Wow, what an age.  How are you? I mean, has your life been good?”

 

She was starting to feel like they had both just given her off on purpose without a feeling, the moment started catching ahold of herself.  “Clara?” He waved his hand.  “Uh, right, I’m sorry.  What?”

 

“He was asking if you..had a good childhood.”

 

He must talk differently, she thought to herself again.  Clara held her left hand to her chest, “my childhood?”

 

“Yes, your childhood,” Nolan repeated.  “It was..great.”

 

Another lie subsided, there was no point in telling the truth, her life had been so miserable that she couldn’t bear to just split like a banana and slide along the truth.  “Yeah?”

 

June knew that the girl had been lying, she didn’t go to school to become a lawyer for nothing, she’s seen this look many times.  “Did you at least get a good home?”

 

“On second thought I think I should get home, um, there are a couple things I need to sort out with my husband.”

 

“I thought he was still in Vegas, Clara?” 

 

“He is, I just need to call him, and tell him that he is going to sign the papers, or I will murder him.”

 

“Right, I don’t think you should move on to the next part, but start with asking him to sign, I’m sure he will think about it, meanwhile, sit down.  Order something.”

 

Hesitating just for a second, she plopped her butt back down into the chair.  Nolan frowned at the girl, “you look like shit..no offense.”

 

“Thanks..”

 

Clara didn’t like the way the man spoke to her, she hated him already, she didn’t say much the rest of the night.  The parents talked a lot, and soon she just became a person sitting there, eating in silence.  Until finally she got up, pulled out her wallet and put down her share of the bill, then turned to leave.  “Clara I said I would pay for it, where are you going anyways?”

 

“I’m going for a walk.”

 

June kept shaking her head to her back, “it’s not safe to go outside and walk alone in the dark.”

 

“There’s a police officer across the street, I’m sure I’ll be fine.”

 

Maybe she was just thinking about going and seeing him? Either way, she needed some fresh air.  “Well I’m sure you will too but we don’t really think it’s best.”

 

“Best?” Clara turned on her heel, those glasses tipped to the edge of her nose and her eyebrows knitted, “look, if I happen to die while going on a walk, I’m sure my problems would just die along with me.  No more husband, no more appointments, no more anything.”

 

Those last final words just made her relax with a simple smile.  “Now, I need to go for a walk, get some air, before driving home.”

 

It sounded like a good idea, at the time.  When she got outside, that police officer was off duty, and was standing next to her car, putting quarters into the meter machine.  “Why are you..”

 

“Well, I figured I would help you.”

 

He helped her alright, in more ways than one, inside her car, twice.  There was no point in waiting on her husband to come around, especially because he was cheating on her, there was no way Brendon was going to sign the papers, it just wasn’t going to happen, so she would just need to move on, starting with an accidental sleepover in her Jeep.

 

She never got his name, he woke up late for work, grabbed his clothes and left.  Clara didn’t see a ring, but knowing what she had done made her feel sick.  It wasn’t like she completely did a bad thing, she just couldn’t accept how low she sunk.

 

….

The Coffee Table

 

The coffee sat in front of the two, for some time they just sat quietly.  “Did you eat something last night Clara?”

 

“Hmm?”

 

Clara was absolutely blanked out at the moment, a week, it’s been an entire week, nor did she bring up what happened between her and this guy to anyone, or planned on it.  “He still hasn’t signed the papers, has he?”

 

“No,” her voice died down, and her thoughts about the cheating incident subsided.  “You look better than before, I was worried.”

 

“Worried? Why would you worry about me? I’m just your client..”

 

It wasn’t like she meant it to come out like that, but it did, this coffee meet up wasn’t just because she was a client, this wasn’t about being a client, “if I so happened to just, I don’t know, forget about him and get another account for my money wouldn’t that be possible?”

“I mean yes, if, but what about your husband then?”

 

“I can’t do it, he won’t sign the papers, and if I take him to court I’d be spending money that I don’t have.  I just want to..get out of the marriage, but I don’t wish to take this as far-”

 

“Clara, like I asked before, are you ready to leave him?”

 

“Of course I am, I haven’t had sex in three years, I need some relief.”

 

To Clara, three years was too long, she had more sex in high school! But last week, the car sex, she was now no longer thinking about anything else at the moment.  Her face heated up, she couldn’t stop thinking about the hot car sex.  “You lied to me and your Father about a happy life.”

 

She hissed, “n-no, I just kind of slightly lied? I mean there’s nothing really much to say about it, I was tossed around a lot.”

 

“You weren’t adopted? Ever?”

 

“No, um, nobody wanted me..”

 

Clara tipped her glasses up on her face again, “I was born with some health problems, most people want a baby who is healthy.  I mean I was healthy, but not healthy.”

 

“May I ask what was wrong with you?”

 

“Just some complications on breathing, that’s all.  Nothing serious.”

 

Clara felt the mood drying off into a hot sun or some weird awkward moment that just didn’t seem to go away.  “So, you really are okay now?”

 

“Yes, after a couple of surgeries, I’m great..”

 

“Clara, do you mind if I ask..did anything bad..happen to you?”

 

Her coffee was now sitting longer than that awkward moment a second ago. Her mind was trying to pull herself up to answer the woman’s questions, but she didn’t understand why she cared so much.  This woman, along with her husband, had decided to just give her away. It wasn’t like Clara could understand truely why these questions kept popping up out of nowhere making her feel utterly uncomfortable.  “I was bullied,” that’s all Clara said, no continuation after that.  Really they had nothing to say to each other.  Clara felt like she wanted to get to know her own Mother, but she was a little twenty years late.  “So you have a cane?” Finally, Clara brought up something that she could answer.  “You noticed.  Well I was in Iraq,  that’s where I got this.”

 

“Oh..”

 

“No, it’s okay, I mean if you want to hear some stories about my time serving, I’m okay to share that with you.”

 

The waiter came over before June could start gabbing away with her stories, “would you both like another cup?”

 

They sadly looked into their full cups, “no I think we are just fine sir,” June waved the guy away, noticing that his main attention was on Clara.  She didn’t notice though.  Her outfit was very questionable, it was like she was trying to put herself out there.  Not to mention she didn’t have her ring on, the first time June met Clara, she had that ring on.  Instead of going straight back to the long, long stories, the woman just stared at her, waiting for Clara to notice the stare.  

 

Clara chose a green dress, showed a lot of cleavage, and her hair was tied back into a messy bun, to top that off she had flower patterns in her dress! She was most likely trying for something? Maybe to catch someone’s attention?

 

“So? What’s with this flirty vibe from you Clara?”

 

“Flirty?” Her voice cracked, but her eyes traveled down to her chest and then her thighs, maybe choosing a short dress wasn’t appropriate she thought.  “Who did you dress up for?”

 

“Well, um, I am sorry if it’s bothering you, but I wanted to go out today, looking like a free woman.”

 

Only because the young woman slept with an older guy who had nice abs-

 

Saying the right thing, got June grinning ear to ear, “I’m happy to hear that your attitude has changed since I saw you last week.”

“Yes, it has, really, has.”

 

“Is it some..guy?”

 

Clara kept blushing, it was hard to hide it, she looked like her young self again, it was like life pumped its way back into her veins.  “I may have had a one night stand, in my car,” she couldn’t help but laugh at herself.  “Really??”

 

“Well this cop, he kind of..got off duty, and he did a lot more than just pay for my parking meter.”

 

“Wait, cop?”

 

“Yes..from that night I went for that walk and never returned to the restaurant.”

 

“So he just creepily waits for you?”

 

“Well he did, I didn’t get his name because he said his next shift was starting, plus people were starting to..wonder about-”

 

“Was he at least safe with you?”

 

“Is that a serious question?”

 

“I mean..I want you to be safe.”

 

Clara never had someone worry about her so much, first it was about how much she was eating, then next it had become her sex life and if she was being safe.  “I..can’t have kids.”

 

That so happened to be something she hadn’t said to the woman yet, “which is why my husband left for Vegas and strippers.  I just wasn't good enough for him, one try was enough, hospital bills were..enough.  It’s funny really, I used to be a CEO of my own company, then the baby came along, and I just..lost everything.  My workers started acting out, not showing up..things just were collapsing.”

 

“A CEO? How did you manage that?”

 

“Well, I so happened to be the brightest person in school, which is why I was ridiculed for being smart, or beatings from classmates just for fun..I was hated by most people because I had lots of things.  Brains, and love.  No matter what, I just smiled each day, knowing that when I went outside to the park I’d get another trip to the doctor.  I really just flew to college.”

 

“Where did you go?”

 

“To a local college, really it was nothing special, I just wanted to learn about Business.  I found that it was intriguing to me.  When I turned sixteen, I had already had my master’s degree, and, not to mention, I was building an empire from scratch.”

 

“What did you-”

 

“I was the CEO of a modeling program, just for babies.”

 

June was starting to see why Clara gave up her job after losing the baby.  She probably went through hell, but she was damn proud of her for being a smart girl and overcoming her bullies.  June was starting to see Clara as a really interesting person, she birthed quite a catch.  “So the man, you got his phone number right?”

 

“Shit..no.  At the moment I couldn’t, he was too busy getting his pants and boxers on.”

 

It had switched over completely from one topic, to the next.  The two talked for what seemed like hours, still not touching their coffee, but finally when they had, the waiter came back up, was mostly looking at Clara, and he asked if she would like her coffee reheated.  Of course she was going to accept, but she was noticing how he was being completely non observant.  There were other people around them staring, not to mention June was sitting not too far!

 

“Really I’d love a warm cup of joe, but my Mother would also.”

 

Saying Mother shocked herself, except it felt nice to finally call someone Mom, she was just waiting for the right person to come along, even if she was twenty years late and her lawyer.

June smiled at the young boy, while waving to him in a creepy manner, but she had been sitting there the entire time again, and he was ignoring her.  “Right, sorry, yeah I’ll get you and your lovely Mother something.”

 

He took off with their mugs, refilling them with hot coffee! Clara glanced at June then back at the guy.  He was taking longer to get back to the table.  When he did get back to the table the mugs were styraphone with lids.  “That should keep them warm.”

 

Clara giggled at him, his face turned a purple shade of color, “thank you, but I do think we’d like our check for the afternoon?”

 

The guy skittishly flashed a smile while taking out his notepad, although he couldn’t really get ahold of it.  Now Clara was going to be a tease, the boy needed to be taught a lesson.  “Hmm, you are awfully cute,” she says this while getting close to him, letting him peer down into her dress to see what she kept hidden underneath.  “I appreciate you being my waiter tonight…Cloud?”

 

Her voice was well toned, sweet, but not too sweet, just good enough to make the boy weak at the knees and his full attention on her buttermilk skinned chest.  “Uh, uh..”

 

She grabbed the notepad from him, “you know, you have other customers that you could be..writing this out to..is there something you want?”

 

Cloud gulped, obviously the image of her boobs were starting to get somewhere.  “Well, first of all, my eyes are up here, and if you ever want a woman, you’d meet her with your eyes first before staring at her chest.  We are not sexual tools, although some prefer to be used like that.  I, on the other hand, find it very rude.”

 

The boy looked so blanked for a second, as if he was wind lashed.  He took the notepad back, finding his way to scribble out the total.  He had given it to her finally, not daring to look at her in the chest this time.  Clara wasn’t going to ever deny that her chest was a decent size, but she had prefered a kind, honest man, who would look her in the eyes.  “Now that is settled, how about I drive you home?”

 

Clara, still thinking her hand was okay, used her left hand, gripping the steering wheel as if her thumb was healed up.  June smacked her on the shoulder, not gentle, but good enough to let her know not to do something stupid.  Finally it took her a good minute to realize where her pain was coming from.  “Are you sure you're okay to go home alone?”

 

Just because Clara looked good, hair all fancy, and everything else all frillied, didn’t mean that she was actually doing okay.  Someone couldn’t just go from crying in their car one week, because of her husband and losing a baby, to acting like it was nothing in the current week. 

 

“Why wouldn’t I be, Mom?”

 

June was loving how she was already being called Mom, it just was a bummer that Nolan had ruined his chance to get to know their daughter.  The poor man made a mistake the first night meeting Clara, and he knew it right away after she got up and left without saying, or looking at him.  Still, June wanted to amend things.  “I gave you up, because our parents didn’t approve.”

 

That caught the lovely moment off guard.  “Never did I think that it was the best thing for you, I always wanted to go and look for you..do something, but I was afraid that you would shut me out.”

 

For a second, she held back on starting the Jeep up.  She just let out a nervous laugh, “it’s fine.”

 

“There is no..apology that I could muster up for how I just disappeared from your life completely until recently.”

 

“Mom, stop downing my moment, and please just drop this conversation.  To be clear, I didn’t want to know, I didn’t want to know about how you felt, or why you did what you did, of course I have questioned it many times when I was little, but then I just accepted it.”

 

Meeting this woman was obviously a turn around on things, first she was the lawyer from the restaurant, now she is her Mom, who is helping her get over some things.  Not to mention she was trying to get over her husband who was still constantly trying to pull money out of the account.  

 

Even though telling June she was okay, or fine, was supposed to mean something, it didn’t to June.  June did something that Clara would never forget about, she gave her a kiss on the cheek, and a very big hug, “you will be okay, you call me if you need anything, do you understand me?”

 

She was taking the role now, more than anything Clara needed someone to lean on, and now was the best time to do that.  She kept nodding, accepting that someone wanted to help her.  

 

….

Intruded

 

Still, not a single person in the house..Clara walked in the front door, and closed it, following with a lock, she has found herself wondering what in the world, is she going to do with a big house and nobody else to live in it with her? Not only that, maybe filing for bankruptcy is the better way to go?

 

Before she could get any further than the door, she realized a light was on in the kitchen.  It was unusual, Clara recalled leaving the light off.  “Brendon?” It couldn’t possibly be him, yet, she turned that corner and found him looking into the empty fridge, for a split second the only thing going through her head was, when did he come back? Why was he in the house? 

 

Clara’s heels clicked and that’s what made the man turn.  “Ahh, Clara.”

 

“Brendon?? When the hell did you-”

 

“I have a spare key, and that’s not the issue here.  Why aren’t you working?”

 

“Didn’t you check your damn voice mail!?”

 

He turned to look at his phone.  “Haven’t been able to.  Anyways, you got money, well, I need some.”

 

“No, you're not getting anything, or anymore from me, so leave now Brendon! Or sign the damn papers first then leave!”

 

“Didn’t you get..my voicemail? I’m not giving you a divorce.”

 

“Then get your sorry ass out of here.  You can’t just come back, expecting me to have money! Shit! I barely have anything in this house to eat because of you and the whores you fuck!”

 

“They aren’t whores.”

 

Hearing him admit that he’s sleeping with another woman was starting to make her even more sick, she just didn’t want to hear it anymore, he had no excuses, now he was back asking for more than he’s already taken from her.  “Just leave,” her bag dropped to the floor, she was already showing how exhausted she was.  “Well, the wife comes home, she looks sexy, hmm..maybe I was mistaken.”

 

Her eyes glared at him, what did he even mean? “I don’t have money, I don’t have anything in this house for you Brendon, so leave, I beg of you, just leave.”

 

“Maybe a fuck is all you really need? To loosen you up?”

 

“No, I don’t want to fuck, I’m not going to drop my damn attitude and go along with whatever you want! Now get out!”

 

Clara and him just kept staring at one another, before finally she began running to the door, his steps were following right behind her, of course the door was locked! Out of all things she had locked the door! His arms wrapped right around her waist, such rough kisses trailing on her neck, “let me go damnit!”

 

Only for a minute, he held her in his arms forcing her to obey his touch.  He began kneading the front of her pelvis, waiting for a reaction, but Clara held in her suppressed moans, she didn’t want it to happen, it wasn’t his first time doing this to her, the whiskey floated up to his head and he was more enraged than anything.  Before he could even consider ripping her thong down and taking her right there in the living room..a slight knock came upon the door.  “Who the hell is at our door huh!?”

 

His left hand got a good grip of her hair, tugging it as he slipped his other hand down until finally he aggressively ripped her only thing blocking him from his view and touch.  Clara whimpered as he kept tugging her around, slipping his fingers into her sex.  He didn’t listen to her pouts, or the crying.  She heard the sound of his fly unzipping.  “N-no!” 

 

….

 

That night had turned into that nightmare that she’s been dreaming of every single night.  The next day she had found herself less interested in a divorce, more convinced that her life was just a glimmer away from being snuffed out, she had heard her husband warn her of the bruises, warn her of the divorce, the other night he made it clear what he thought about it all.

 

June sat across the coffee table, explaining the details of things, but Clara just had her head somewhere else.  “Clara? Are you alright this morning? Should we wait to go to court?”

 

“I can’t,” Clara just beamed in uttermost sadness, “I can’t end things with him, that is how it’s just going to be okay? I’m sorry if I caused any trouble.  You can keep the money, but as of right now, I am done looking to get a divorce.”

 

“May I ask-”

 

“I am just not looking for a divorce as of right now, I was, but now I’m not, so please just forget about everything.”

 

Before anything more could be said, Clara grabbed her purse then had left the table with not a single word.  It seemed odd for things to just crumble like over done pastry.  

 

Once more, the young woman trotted into her empty house, she had this sunken feeling deep inside her devastated heart.  She was never going to get a man, let alone that hot guy she met, then had hot car sex with.  It all crashed into her at once, finally her husband had more control than when she intended on giving him.  Surely she would lose everything quite soon.  

 

The house payment wouldn’t be paid for, neither would the property tax, things were suddenly looking drafty.  A couple times her phone buzzed, but she couldn’t come to looking at her phone, her legs had officially given away, there she found herself resting in bed, those arms covering the back of her head, wishing somehow she’d just suffocate herself.  The man had taken whatever he could sell while she was out at that meeting.  TV was missing, all the meds inside the cabinet behind the mirror in the bathroom had even vanished.  Clara reached down with her right hand, of course that injured hand got worse, but Clara just started using it also, not much though.  The other night she fought hard with her husband.

 

The heels clicked and clanked as the bottoms smacked the wooden flooring, there was this sudden pause before peeling away her dirty clothes.  There was no running water in the house at the moment, and the electricity bill hadn’t been paid.  So there she waited for the darkness to soon eat her up.

 

It wasn’t long before that big fireball in the sky let its last looming light glimpse the trees tops, just enough brightness to shine into the room.  Something sunny, it made the moment of feeling worthless slip away, instead, her hands grimaced the light, searching for something, but felt nothing but the saddened warmth in which had been fading quite quickly.  These moments by herself, it all just warmed her heart, making the ice melt from such the heavy burden of herself that she carried.

 

Nolan let a chuckle out, startling Clara from this stare down with the window.  The flashlight turned on, exposing her to more light.  “H-how, did you get in here?”

 

“Your spare key, it was hidden under the floor mat in front of your front door.”

 

Slightly June took a seat, trying not to invade some of her space, although the invading had already happened.  Clara didn’t move a muscle, her mind was entrapped along with her marriage.  “What happened? It’s a mess in the living room, and you all of a sudden don’t want to proceed in the divorce?”

 

“I just don’t want a divorce Mom, that is all.  It’s done, over with.”

 

“Done? Your Mother and I think that something happened maybe? Why is this just done Clara? It makes no sense.”

 

“Done is my final answer, now please leave, we don’t need to have anymore conversation about any of this.  There is nothing to say, and I no longer need help.  I’ve got things under control now.”

 

“What exactly is under control, Clara? You wanted a divorce, and you just changed your mind that fast? Now I’m going to ask you one more time, what happened to you? Did he come back? Does he want you back? Or is it because you still love the man?”

 

“Mom, just stop, right now, I cannot tell you anything, you will just need to wait some time, and time is what I need also, I will get back on my feet..it will just take some time.”

 

“Then how about you come stay with us?” Nolan smiled, “we got room, and it would be very nice if you’d stay a couple nights, or as many as you feel that you need.  Just until you get on your feet again.”

 

Her body creaked the bed as she finally had slid off the bed, “I am twenty years old..I mean that’s not really the age to be moving into my parents house.”

 

“We know, but it’s an option that you are always welcome to Clara.”

 

Clara gripped her curtain and closed it tight, “fine, I will take you up on the offer, but I am not divorcing my husband.”

 

“I won’t change your mind Clara, but what you have, what decisions you make, surely will affect you.”

 

“I understand.”

 

The young woman clearly understood, such high maintenance of keeping her makeup up to date was in need so that nobody could see the bruising.  No divorce, meant no money, no money meant complete failure, but she wasn’t ready to tell anyone of her new problems, for now, she was just going to take up their offer.

 

….

Decisions.

 

“She’s working hard again,” Nolan grumbled to June.  “Oh leave her be Nolan, she wants to be a doctor, this is just something she will keep doing, it’s called studying.”

 

“Oh..”

 

“Yes, and studying is a good strategy.  You should try it some time dear, then maybe your boss will think highly of you.”

 

He muttered something before making his way to the table in which Clara was sitting, such proper stance in how she was reading, not to mention how she sipped her tea while tipping her glasses.  “So, Clara, how about we do something fun today?”

 

“No thanks.”

 

It was like a big smack to the face, here Nolan thought that he would actually bond with her, and they’d have a Father, Daughter, relationship, but instead she’s stubborn, barely leaves the table, her room is neat as if she hasn’t slept in it.  Finally though, the young girl smiled, “I think I’m going to adopt a child.”

 

Her mind was made up, but as always, not everyone agreed with this. Nolan was confused as hell by that statement, but June understood very well.  Clara couldn’t have kids, she was just infirtile.  Her Father made a few growls about it, making Clara seem more irritated in some way.  “Look, I didn’t ask for anyone’s opinion, if you don’t want to be the grandparents of the child, then don’t, but since I was little I have wanted a good husband, and a child, but I’m completely infirtile, and will never get pregnant, if I do, the possibility of dying in the hospital could be a slight chance.  Too much strain could cause me to just keel over.  Maybe taking the safe side of this is rather the best idea, don't you think?”

 

“If that’s what you want, Clara.  I support you, so does your Father, he just has a funny way of showing it.”

 

She was about to make a smart ass comment about him, but decided to keep it to herself, “also, I am leaving soon, I’ve opened another account, where my money is being held, so that my husband..doesn’t get into it.”

At first they all just stood so quiet, eventually Nolan patted her shoulder, “good for you, we are proud.  Your Mother is right though, we both support you all the way.”

 

“Really? I mean this isn’t some kid I’ll be bringing in, hell it might even be a teenager..”

 

“A teen? Now?”

 

“Well, I want a boy, not because when I was with my husband I lost my baby boy, but besides that..I just want a kid who needs a home.”

 

Lucky for Clara, there were many teens who needed a home, it’s just the acceptance that Clara needed from them.  Clara never would have thought about a girl, but she found this girl sitting quietly at a bench, the girl just had all black on.  June and Clara made their glances, that’s when Clara smiled, signaling that she has probably found the right girl.  Indeed she had short hair going on, big shades covering her eyes, and her hair was black.  She wasn’t chubby, but she was curvy.  

 

So she then sat at the table, waiting for the girl to look up from her phone.  “Oh..” the girl squeaked.  “Hi there,” Clara didn’t mind the chatter, but seeing how the girl’s face lit up with freight and embarrassment, she knew right away, this was the girl.  “So I’m not looking for anything specific of any traits, or anything…well…”

 

“The kids…” she whispered, “they are over there.”

 

“I don’t want a child,” she almost burst with laughter, “no, if you don’t mind, you actually have caught my attention.”

 

The girl’s glasses slid off her face, revealing a scar across her eye, Clara smiled and kept nodding to her.  “Do you mind then?” She asked one more time.  “What is your name?” 

 

The girl was awfully silent, her lips thinned, then she tipped her head over to the kids, “they..”

 

“No, I want you.”

 

Want was another thing, but she started crying, Clara didn’t mean for her to start crying.  She wasn’t joking to the girl, and she made that obvious really fast, “my name is Clara,” she said this with some enthusiasm, then her eyes glimpsed at her name tag, Bella. 

 

….

 

“I can’t believe you are doing this, she is such an emotional girl, I mean..that girl always balls her eyes out.”

 

“Maybe because she thinks nobody will want her, I know it seems crazy, but I want to be a single foster mom, for now, and if she seems to change, or you know, we get closer as a parent relationship, then I’ll ask her if she’d like things to be permanent.”

 

The old looking crab smacked her lips at Clara, Clara was understanding why she had short hair, the scars.  Her Father had run off, her Mother was drunk, and she cut her eye, so Bella was blind in one eye.  When Bella had turned six she was staged with cancer.  Since then it’s been a battle.  Because of the problems, nobody has had interest in her.  Clara knew what it was like to be in the system, the woman speaking to her was her case worker back when she was in school.

 

“Out of all children, why not choose a child?”

 

“Because Stacy, I see something that nobody else does, everyone wants to be loved, that girl especially.”

 

Stacy started to smile, those crinkles rubbing out across her forehead, “you certainly have changed since the last I saw you.”

 

“I hope so.”

 

“How have you been Clara?”

 

“I uh..am just fine Stacy, I mean I finally met my parents after almost getting a divorce.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Turns out my Mother was my lawyer, things just work in mysterious ways..don’t they?”

 

“I suppose so.  This husband of yours?”

 

“He’s..he’s...not in the picture, that’s all you need to know, the divorce was going to be put through to a trial, then I changed my mind, he lived all the way in Vegas now, and I am living now in a small apartment with three two bedrooms.”

 

“Well, that actually doesn’t sound too bad.  You understand the conditions of this evaluation, right?”

 

“I do, and you will find that I’m more than prepared for this.”

 

“A teenager could be a lot, Clara.”

 

“I understand what you're getting at Stacy, but I just think that she is what I need.”

 

Need wasn’t the right word, but Stacy understood very well what she was talking about. She had heard of the baby loss, now almost divorce, being alone wasn’t an option.  “Can you give a good reason why?”

 

“I’d rather not say,” Clara began, her head dipped low.  “Is there something wrong?”

 

“Well, there is, with my health..I can’t really have kids, so I just went to the second option.”

 

Stacy was about to apologize, but Clara was having enough of talking to people and having to explain these things.

 

June and Nolan helped move things into the apartment, which luckily was close to work, then she began getting another room ready for Bella.  Stacy knew Clara was a good child, so it was maybe supposed to work out just fine.  

 

Clara brought the girl home, showing her around the medium sized place.  “So Bella, this will be your room.”

 

“There is something I need-”

 

Clara smiled then handed her some pills, “from the pharmacy, Stacy had mentioned that you needed your pills.”

 

The girl didn’t cry, her eyes lit up though.  Bella couldn’t quite understand why this woman isn't interested in little kids.  “So this is my room then?”

 

Bella shoved her bags under the bed, “how do you know Stacy? She’s a grumpy hag..”

 

“Yes, but later in life, you will thank her.”

 

“So, you were once in the foster system?”

 

“Of course, and I know what it’s like to be in hell homes,” for a second she looked more than eager to tell her the glories of stories she hasn’t told anyone, but she had remembered that June and Nolan were coming by to meet the girl.  “So, you..can call me Clara, or..whatever you want.”

 

Bella began to smile, that look on her face, Clara could tell that she made a good choice.

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Tag der Veröffentlichung: 15.09.2022

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