HOPE EVERYTHING IS IN ORDER , COPIED AND PASTED THIS FROM MY WATTPAD WHERE I WROTE IT ! SO , YES IT'S MINES . HOPE YOU LIKE . IF THERE ARE ANY PROBLEMS , TELL ME.

-Trinity-
I was looking into his eyes and didn't even notice it . His eyes , they're black , the darkest back i've ever seen , but so mesmerizing . I'm almost positive they captured me and were holding me hostage . After his eyes , next i studied his face , strong cheek bones , full lips ,his skin is a dark chocolate color . Everything fits together perfect like a master piece .His top lip curls slightly as i study it but i doubt any one else ever noticed , it does it only slightly . Next is his body , his stance . The way he swaggered into the gym showed how much confidence he had in himself . It wasn't cocky , but yet powerful . It screamed for attention .His very athletic build could be mistaken for a threat to any man because of his bad boy look but to a girl it's like heaven . His muscles were noticeable through his tan cargo shorts and his black t shirt .
Without uttering one word he said so many . Who is he ?
" stop staring , " my best friend , Ivory , elbowed me lightly in my side . I sighed and watched him cross the gym floor with his eyes only on me as i sat on the top row of the bleachers with Ivory watching the rest of the class play basketball . I dragged my eyes away from him and tried to pretend that he was the last thing on my mind but in reality i was intrigued by him .
" excuse me ." That's him ? Oh my god . His voice practically made me melt without even
trying . It's so deep and sexy , alluring .
"y-yes ?" I turned to face him stuttering slightly ! Dammit , why am i stuttering for him . I mean yes he's cute , well beyond cute , he's -
" can you tell me where the office is ?"
" it's down -"
"matter a fact ," he licked his plump chocolate lips and i began to wonder how they would taste if i was the one licking them " can you show me ? That way i'll remember ."
" um , sure . Ivory , i'm going to show him to the office , be back ."
She shook her head at me , more interested in what she was doing on her phone than what i was saying . I sighed and stood up as we began to cross the gym to the doors , it's stupid that this school put the sports office all the way on the other side of the school no where near the gym .
" so , who are you ? I've never seen you around here ."
He held open the gym doors for me " my name is Rodney . I just started today . And what's your name beautiful ?"
I swear i could feel my face flush and my cheeks feel with red , i tried to look away " um , my name is Trinity ."
" hmm , Rodney and Trinity , that sounds good don't it ?"
We both laughed . And , oh my god , his laugh was even sexier than his voice . It made me weak in my knees , i thought i would wobble over at any minute but i was some how able to keep myself under control .
" stop it . I have a boyfriend ."
" i respect that . Who is this lucky man ?"
" his name is Devon ."
" hopefully i'll get to meet this Devon guy ."
I smiled and mumbled under my breath " yeah , hopefully ."
Rodney was the perfect gentlemen , holding open doors that we entered and saying sweet things to me maybe me blush constantly all the way to the sports office .
I gave Rodney a shy smile , not trying to flirt , just being nice . I mean , he made me shy , i couldn't help it ! " well , here it is , see you around ?"
" can i at least get a hug before you just completely forget about me ?"
We both smiled and i fell into his embrace . I wasn't trying to enjoy his strong arms wrapped around me as much as i did . I really couldn't stop myself from inhaling his scent . It entered my nose and i never wanted to let him go . His arms wrapped tighter around me like he was thinking the exact same things . He was making me all tingly inside and i knew i had to pull away .
" bye ." I gave him a slight wave and began to walk as fast my little legs would allow back to the gym .
Breath Trinity , breath , i kept telling myself . Why the hell could i not breath right ? Every time i inhaled i smelled Rodney's cologne and it was making me weak at the knees . That's not at all supposed to happen .
I changed my thoughts from Rodney to Devon as i entered the gym again and saw him running up and down the basketball court doing suicides . He's so adorable . Devon is a light caramel complexion because he's half white and half black , his body is built of course , his eyes are dark brown and his face is very handsome . And as for his personality : he's a real sweetheart . I mean , i've seen him tear boys to shreds in the past but when it comes to me , he's the ideal dream guy . Just thinking about him made my heart flutter and made my stomach do little flips . He's my guy , always and forever . I remember when me and Devon were ten we carved our names into my bedroom wall right above my bed , it's still there to this day . I looked at it every night for years just smiling away at what we had when we were so young .
________________________________
-Rodney-
I knocked on the door to the sports office but my mind was somewhere completely different . My mind was stuck on Trinity and her beauty . Her long curly hair that's about 4 different shades of brown , light brown eyes , her honey complexion , her thick yet fit build , her bright smile . And then she's not one of those beautiful girls who is cocky , i like that . Even though we only had one conversation i found myself looking forward to the next time i'd see her . Maybe with her in my life this year would pass by with a breeze . It's a shame she's got a man though , because i'd really like to show her more of me . And i mean taking her out to the mall and to the movies , buying her gifts and just being the person that i know i wanna be for her . I saw the way she blushed when i called her beautiful and the way she clung to my body when i hugged her .I just hoped she didn't do that to every body , i just hoped she wasn't that kind of girl .
" yes sir ? "
I made arrangements for me to get tried out for the basketball team and by that time it was lunch . I was half excited for lunch and half not . Now , i was excited because i'd get to see Trinity even though i wouldn't bother her at all . And i wasn't excited because i didn't know anyone so i'd end up sitting by my damn self , it didn't bother me that much but it bothered me enough .
The lunch room was packed and noisy . I was used to the noise though , that i could deal with without a problem . I bought 2 slices of vegetarian pizza and a fruit punch and after hard searching i sat down at a empty table in the corner of the room . No , i'm not a vegetarian . Do you know a black man that's a vegetarian ? I don't .
" you know , you don't have to eat alone ."
As i was unwrapping my pizza i looked up to see a Latina girl . She's cute too . Black eyes , straight black hair , chubby face but slender body . Not that i'm really giving two shits about her body though .
" i chose to eat alone ."
She pulled out the chair across from me and sat her tray down before she sat in the chair " i'm Maria ." " look , ma' , wasupp ? Why you over here ?"
" just to talk to you , calm down . I don't like seeing a new students sitting by their self . Especially one as fine as you ."
I let a little smirk play on my lips : so that's what this is about . She see's a fine dude sitting by his self and she just wants to latch onto him . Girls , she should have came up with a better line . She seems like a nice girl , but now all i can label her as is 'just another girl' .
I caught Trinity's eyes on me but as soon as she knew i'd seen her she tried to act like she didn't even see me as some light skin dude wrapped his arm around her shoulder . The feeling i felt wasn't jealousy , no , i felt like dude challenged me . I don't like going after other men's women so wasn't going to make a move . . . yet . I was going to fall back and play my part , but i knew my time was coming .
" hello !" Maria snapped her fingers in front of my face and i looked back at her . I hadn't even realised i was staring Trinity up and down in deep thought . God , this was going to be harder than i thought .
The day went by actually fast . After lunch i only had 4 more classes which i flew through . I did 4 separate introductions too which was very annoying , because i have all the same classes with all the same people so basically the introductions were just for the teachers .
I met a few people though which i guess is aight . Michael , he's on the basketball team and cocky as fuck . Just by sitting through a few classes with him i saw him flirt with every girl in the class , even the ugly ones . But when it don't come to girls , he's cool .
I met this boy named Sal , now he's hooder than anybody else in this school . Every other word out his mouth is either a cuss word or some shit no one understands , and the tattoos on his arms coming from under his shirt is crazy . I have a few tattoos but they're on my chest and my back , some people just don't care .
A few other people caught my interest too : females especially . But i guess we'll get to them later .

" ma' ? I'm home !" I yelled when i entered the house that evening .

I didn't get an answer but i wasn't too worried . I know every day around this time , 4 o'clock , she'd be in the kitchen trying to get the dinner together . My mother isn't like most mothers around these parts . She's never been on drugs or anything like that , she's actually a stay at home mom . My dad has a job at a record company even though he's in his early forties . But he brings home enough money to support the family : Me , my 18 year old brother Marcus , My 3 year old sister Raven , and my mom . Yeah , that many of us live in a 2 bedroom apartment . Me and Marcus share a room , my mom and dad and Raven share a room too . It might sound like it works out but in reality we're not a big happy family .

Raven jumped into my arms making me drop my book bag " Ro-neeeyy ." That's just how she's pronounces my name .
" how are you , baby girl ."
" good ." She gave me a big smile showing her missing tooth in the front .
I fake gasped " you lost a tooth ?"
" no ," She covered her mouth , jumped from my arms and ran to her room .
My mother laughed as she sat plates on the small kitchen table " yeah , she lost a tooth today . She won't show me though ."
I shrugged picking up my stuff off the ground that spilled from my book bag . A piece of paper in particular caught my attention , and made me sigh . I always keep the obituary from my granma's funeral . I could feel something stirring within me so i stuffed it back into my bookbag and began to walk to my room .
My mother just whispered " you know , we all miss her ."
_______________________________
-Trinity-
I plopped down on my bed and watched Devon explore my room like he does every time he comes in here . First he looks at the pictures on my dresser : There's one of me and him earlier this year at the beach , there's one of me and my mom when i was a baby , then there is one of me and there is one of me and Ivory at the mall from like last week . And in the same frame as the one of me and my mom is one of me when i was 5 but it's hidden .
Then he looks at the carving of me and his name in the wall , runs his hand over it like it's all new to him .
I sighed " god , Devon , sit down . You just saw all the same stuff last week !"
He smiled sitting down on my bed next to me " i know , i just can't believe i still got you ."
I rolled my eyes " whatever Devon ."
He just stared at me , pouring out all his emotions and love without opening his mouth . His dark brown eyes telling me everything like how he didn't want to live without me , how much i meant to him , - " i love you " he whispered and pecked my lips .
I smiled but didn't respond . I knew Devon was important to me , i knew he was almost always on my mind but . . . could i say it was love ?
He just continued to stare at me and pretty soon the love in his eyes completely dried up and basically turned into anger . He was still waiting on me to respond . What was i supposed to do ? Lie to him ? No , that's not even me . The truth hurts , and i rather he find out that i don't love him now than later .
" i like you too ."
" like ? I just told you i love you ! After 8 years you still can't say it back ?! Seriously ?"
I kissed him and decided to lie , i didn't want to lose him because he had everything that i was looking for in a guy . I could see us getting married and loving each other crazy . So , i decided to tell one lie because i knew i'd love him in the future " i love you too ."
_______________________________
-Rodney-
" up , up , up ." My mother shook my body and to be honest i wasn't feeling it . My body really wasn't used to the school shit yet so it was like trying to wake me from a coma .
I groaned and put the covers over my head " nooo ."
I thought she left , well she did , and then my dad came in " Rodney , wake yo ass up !" He snatched the covers from my body and exited the room with them in his hands .
Dammit .
I took a shower and did all that good stuff , and dressed in a pair of black jeans and a a red t shirt with a pair of red and black Griffey's on my feet . Fresh . I took my doo-rag off and brushed my hair the right way . I sometimes debate on weather or not to grow my hair but then i always think against it because i'll never have the patience to get it braided .
" ay ," Marcus poked his head from under the covers on his bed that sat on the other side of the room " let me borrow yo earring ."
I sucked my teeth but left one earring from the pair on the dresser and put the other one it my right ear . " nigga , you always want something !" I grabbed my bookbag from the floor and snatched the covers from Marcus's body like my dad did to me and ran in the living room with them " get that ass up !"
I dropped them on the floor and ran out the front door with a smirk on my face . Hey , if it was me sleeping he would have done the same damn thing .
I made it to school in record time , 20 minutes before class even started . The halls were completely empty . At least i got time to figure out where my first class was without looking stupid if i walked into the wrong room .
" lost ?"
I turned around and was face to face with Trinity , i smiled ,happy that she was the first person i saw . I doubt if i wanted to see anyone else on this day .
Trinity is rocking a pair of blue jean shorts , and a white and blue stripped collar shirt that fit her shape perfectly , and blue flip flops . Her wavy hair was pulled into a messy bun on the top of her head .
" not anymore . I found exactly where i'm supposed to be . Next to you ."
She shook her head and dropped her eyes to the floor " right ."
" why do you always do that ?"
" do what ?"
I walked closer to her and placed a finger under her chin , lifting her head until she was staring up at me " every time i say something nice about you , you look the other way ."
She shrugged and stepped out of my reach reluctantly . The way she moved i could tell she didn't really want to but i wasn't about to make her feel uncomfortable . " it's just a habit ."
" aight . Well , show me to my first class ?"
She shook her head , peeped at my schedule and began to walk the other way so i fell into step behind her . " here you are ."
It was the first door as soon as you enter the school building " you mean to tell me i been walking the wrong way this whole time ?"
She smirked sending chills up my arms " basically ."
And then she walked away . I shrugged and took my seat inside the empty class room . It was time for another long ass day .

Sal was the first one to come in the class room , loud of course " damn , yo' ass early i see ."

I told you , every other word out his mouth is a cuss word .

" early bird get's the worm ."

He gave me an amused look and sat in the empty desk next to me " what the hell does that mean ?"

I sighed and put my head down "nothing ."

" ay man , look ."

I put me head up just in time to see the head cheer leader Alexis walking into the room in her cheer uniform .

Alexis is about 5"4 , athletic build but curvaceous , her hair is cut short in a Rhianna style and she's sassy too . I can tell by her walk .

" man , she bad !"

Sal smiled " i know man . She smart too , but she untouchable ."

" ain't no girl untouchable . Watch me work ."

I was confident in myself as i swaggered to the front of the classroom where she stood writing something on the white board . It's not what you say to a girl , it's how you say it ." how are you today ?"

She didn't even stop writing " not interested ."

" really ?" I chuckled " i'm just tryna be nice , that's all . "

" yeah right , do you know how many times i've heard that line ."

" no , but i'm not throwin' you no line though . Just tryna talk ."

She put the marker down and turned to me with an amused look on her face " really ?"

BINGO !

" yes really . I'm Rodney ."

" Alexis ."

" that's what's up . So , i see you on the cheer leading team . You like what you do ?"

" very much so . I've been cheer leading since i was little . And ? What do you do ?"

"i'm more of a basketball kind of person . Jumping up and down in in a skirt isn't for me ."

She giggled " your kinda funny , you know that ?"

" i do my best . But look , maybe i'll catch you later ?"

" sure ." I flashed her one of my award winning smiles and went back to my seat . Sal shook his head and sighed as the bell rang and people started to pour into the class room .

___________________________________

-Trinity-

I sat down in the front of the class trying to keep my distance from Rodney . I could still feel Rodney's fingers lifting my chin so i was looking him into his eyes : those eyes that had my mind spinning out of control anytime i looked into them . But , there isn't time to think about that so i pushed that the furthest to the back of my mind as it would go .

" today class we''ll be learning -" I couldn't help myself , i took a peak back at Rodney only to find he was already looking at me . He flashed me a smile that i returned with a weak one and turned back to face the bored . You don't like him , i kept telling myself .

Why would i like some one so - so . . . dreamy ? No ! God . He's not dreamy , humph , who am i kidding ? Yes he is ! His smile , it's heart stopping . I promise you , at least for me it is . I scribbled his name in cursive in the corner of my paper , but it did't look right alone , so i scribbled my name up under it and smiled . Now , it looked better . But it shouldn't .

After school was cheer leading practice , i wasn't too thrilled about it because my stomach was giving me horrible problems . But i stuck it out , put my uniform on in the girl's locker room and made my way to the gym . When i entered the gym i was surprised to see that basketball try-outs were also going on , and guess who i saw running up and down the gym in only basketball shorts and a pair of fresh Jordan's . Rodney . I swear i almost fainted . I had already known his body was fit but getting to actually see it so soon was crazy . I was able to tear my eyes away from him long enough to see Devon jogging toward me .

" hey , babe ."

He hugged me " was supp ? "

" nothing . Cheer leading practice ."

" oh hell no . Not in this little bitty ass thing in front of all these dude ! Nah ."

" excuse you ?"

" babe ,"he kissed my forehead " it's bad enough you sexy . But now you gon' be jumping up and down in the little ass skirt , i'm telling you , i don't want these dudes eyes on you . "

" no ones looking at me . And besides , i'm all yours ." I pecked him on his lips and walked to where all the other girls were standing , on the side lines . " hey ."

Alexis was the first to turn to me and everybody else followed suit " we heard you go out with Rodney , is it true ?" She had her hands folded over her chest glaring at me .

I screwed my face up " me and Rodney are just friend . And who would say something like that anyway ."

" don't worry about it ."

A girl named Tammy walked up beside me , she's one of my closest friends " girl you okay ? " she asked .

" i'm fine , just ready to go ." I flipped my hair over my shoulder and me and Tammy began to walk back to the dressing room .

Girls are crazy ! For one , who would even sit up there and say me and Rodney are together ?! He'd only been going to this school for a day , like damn . A girl is aloud to talk to a boy without automatically being called a slut or something right ? Because if i know Alexis correctly , she's a trouble starter . And if she heard i went with him she'd instantly label me as a slut even though she knows i'm not . She just seeks for attention . And not only is the whole cheer leading team weak and a bunch of followers but they're also fake . I have friends , i don't have time for that shit .

" so what happened ?" Tammy asked as i changed back into my street clothes .

"girls being ignorant . They think i go with Rodney . They know i've been dating Devon since we were like ten but they still make up these rumors ! Just stupid ."

" really . You would think they weren't so dumb . They follow up under Alexis like she's a fucking god ."

" yeah , have you seen Ivory ?"

" she went home . She said she'd call you though ."

" okay ."

" sleepover ?"

" duh , be at my house by 8 ."

" okay ." We both changed , packed up our bags and went our separate ways . ______________________________________________

-Rodney-

I caught the ball and made a layup . As i landed on my feet i saw Trinity storming from the gym with her book bag swung over her back looking so so sexy . She looks even better when she's mad . I tried to push myself to run back down the court but something was pulling me in the direction of Trinity .

" coach , i got an emergency . Be back !"

I jogged from the gym and Trinity wasn't far from the doors . " yo ." i caught up to her and began to walk with her " how are you ?"

" pissed off ."

" why ?"

" because . . . . just because , alright ? People think me and you are together ."

I chuckled " is that a bad thing ?"

" no , it wouldn't be if i wasn't in love with my boyfriend ."

" in love ? If you were in love then you wouldn't give a damn about what anybody says about me and you . So be real , are you in love ?"

-Trinity-

" in love ? If you were in love then you wouldn't give a damn about what anybody says about me and you . So be real , are you in love ?"

I heard the words coming from Rodney's mouth but i tried to act like they hadn't . He wanted to know if i was in love with Devon , great ! I already lied and told Devon that i love him , now i'll have to lie to Rodney too , although it's the last thing i want to do .

As we exited the school building and the warm night air brushed against my legs , i turned to Rodney and prepared to act my way out of this one " yeas , i'm in love with Devon ."

Rodney shook his head , even cracked a little smile " bullshit ."

" excuse you ?"

" you heard me , " he took a few steps closer making my breath get caught in my throat " that's bullshit . You're not in love with him , i can see it in your face . You might can fool him with that shit but it don't work on me . Trinity , i grew up being lied to , i can see right through that shit . "

" if i'm not in love with him after 8 years then - "

He cut me off as he grabbed me by my waist pulling my body close to his " if you are not in love with him after 8 years then you never will be . "

I sighed , not only was his cologne filling my nose and weakening my knees , and not only was his chest pressed against mines with his arms wrapped securely around my waist , and not only were his eyes looking down at me lovingly but he was right . I couldn't accept it though , i refused to believe that .

Me and Devon were made for each other , meant to be together . There is no other way . I didn't waste 8 years of my life for nothing . Devon is going to be the man of my life when we're older , and there is nothing anyone can do about it .

" Rodney let me go ."

" no . " He buried his face in my neck where he kissed it lightly . " i'm not letting you go . I just met you but you've already got me going crazy . You must not understand ."

" you're right , i don't , so explain . "

He moved his head from my neck so he could stare into my eyes . He brushed a string of hair from my face " when i saw you in the gym , sitting up there watching me as i watched you , there was something about you . And you had me open from that very moment . Then you turned away trying to act uninterested and from that moment , i challenged myself to be good enough to get you . You're beautiful , in class you're smart , i love your smile . . . . long story short , i need you , Trinity . Think i'm lying if you want to . I don't know what's happening to me ."

He kissed along my jaw line softly , not trying to turn me on but doing it any way . I jut thought for a moment about all the things he'd said . He said i was beautiful , Devon only called me sexy but i always told myself it was good enough because i didn't want to lose him . But now that Rodney's here , he's confusing all of that . Why did he even have to come to this school ? Why did we have to meet ? If we hadn't of met then i'd still be happy wit Devon and wouldn't even think about another boy . But Rodney has got me thinking , he's smart , cute and extremely sweet . He has turned me on more in the past 2 minutes than Devon has in our whole 8 year relationship .

" please don't make this harder than it is , okay ? We can't be together ." i tried to pull away but his grip on my waist wasn't loosining and i couldn't say that i really wanted it to . It felt good , but is so wrong .

" if you think i'm giving up that easy then you out your damn mind ." he smiled at me and loosened his hold , i'm sure my disappointment showed because as soon as he studied my face he tightened his grip again " see , you don't even want me to let you go . Why fight it ?"

What do i say ? That i'm afraid to break up with Devon because me and Rodney might not work out ? Is this the part where i explain how much i'm afraid to be alone ? Am i supposed to admit that maybe i did waste 8 years of my precious life ?

Confused . I don't need Rodney knowing how confused i get sometimes just thinking about things .

" i love him ." is all i said . He winced slightly at those words . I tried to make them sound more believable but it was obvious he still wasn't buying it , he let me go anyways though and kissed me on the lips slowly . Making sure i felt the passion pouring out of him . I started to kiss him back and he pulled away and walked back in the school .

I wanted him more than ever , i needed him more than ever . My body was beginning to grow cold even though the air outside was warm . There's something about his body , his hands , and his kisses that makes me warm on the inside . They shouldn't though ! I'll just some how or another try to convince myself that i love Devon . I need to believe that now .

_________________________________

-Rodney-

For the rest of practice i felt so happy , i swear if i wanted to i could have levitated , that's just how happy i was . It didn't feel like there was any pressure on my shoulders . When i kissed Trinity i had no idea what the hell was on my mind but i do know that i'm glad i did it .

Trinity wasn't in love with Devon at all , i could tell . I just don't get it though , why is she with him if she knows she doesn't love him . Maybe he's forcing her ?

I unlocked the front door to my house and even before i entered my mood was crushed because all the way down the hall i could hear my parents arguing .

" well then go be with that bitch Marilyn then !" my mom screamed " if she does things so much different from the way i do 'em !"

" you always saying shit like that . You want me to leave ? You'll just be on wellfare ."

" on , no the fuck you didn't go there -"

I passed by my mother and father's bedroom door which was closed and shouts continued to come from under the door .

I closed my bedroom door , put my book bag down and changed into my pajama pants . I plopped down onto my bed onto something lumpy that groaned . I stood back up and noticed it was my baby sister , Raven .

She sat up " i sowwy Ro-ney . But , mom and dad won't leh me come in to go to sheep ." i loved the way she pronounced some of her words . She's so innocent . And even though i knew she wouldn't , at that moment i prayed that she'd stay that way .

" it's okay , Raven . Scoot over ."

She did as i said and i got into the bed and wrapped my arm around her in a protective way . I could feel her body shaking , she must be scared out of her mind . I know i hate when my parents argue , i always have , but now it doesn't even really effect me anymore . It used to when i was younger though . I'd rather my parents be split up and happy than together and scaring the crap out of Raven .

" Marcus leff ."

" when ?"

" a long long long time ago . Before night came ."

I kissed her forehead " go to sleep now ."

She did as i said and within minutes i heard her light snoring .

It figures that Marcus isn't around , he never is when it comes to shit like this . He couldn't give two fucks whether Raven is alright . That's all i care about . If it wasn't for Raven , i'd probably have a job and be saving up to leave right about now , but i don't want to leave her by herself . Who knows what'll happen .

I felt myself slowly drifting into sleep as i thought about Marcus and how extremely selfish he is , only pissing me off more . If i see him , there's no telling what i'm going to do .

I woke up the next morning still feeling bothered and as i heard Marcus's voices floating from the kitchen anger flooded my body all over again but i tried to ignore it . I let Raven sleep peacefully as i took a shower and got myself together . I put on a pair of black jean shorts , a plain white v neck t-shirt and white and black polo's on my feet . I put in both earrings today , grabbed my book bag and was ready to head out to school .

I bumped into Marcus on the way out the bedroom room door and can you believe this nigga had the nerve to smile at me . " let me borrow a earring again ."

I screwed up my face " you can't borrow shit from me ."

" what ?"

" nigga you heard me , " i raised my voice slightly , adding more venom to my words " i''m speaking loud and clear , ain't i ?!"

" yo' , i don't know what the fuck is up with you but - "

" i'ma tell you was supp . You left Raven here by here damn self while ma' and pops was arguin' , that's what up . Do you know how scared she was ? Or do you even care ?!"

" i had a date ."

" and ?! FUCK THAT BITCH ! You only got one fucking sister , that bitch you dating is just like all the others , she's easy ."

I saw Marcus swing his fist toward my face , as it began to move in slow motion . It was just slow enough for me to dodge and throw a punch of my own that landed square on his jaw . But it wouldn't stop there , it never did .

_______________________________________

-Trinity-

The day was progressing really slow . I hadn't even seen a sign from Rodney , no one had actually . It's not only nerve racking but it was worrying me to death . I admit , i had to be feeling something for him to even think about worrying about him . When the bell rang for lunch i wasn't that excited . True , my stomach was growling but i don't think my body was in any state to try and consume food .

Me and Ivory stood in the lunch line .

Ivory searched the cafeteria with her eyes and turned back to me " so , where is your little boyfriend ."

" i don't know where Devon is ."

" not Devon ." She gave me a mischievous smile " Rodney ."

" he is not my boyfriend ! Just a friend . I'm in lov -"

Ivory rolled her eyes and cut me off " don't try that line with me . I've known you for forever ! You don't even love Devon ."

I mumbled a whatever and moved up in line . If Ivory could tell that i wonder if everyone else could too . No , because if they could then Devon would know .

I glanced over my shoulder at the cafeteria doors and in walked Rodney , with a bandage over top of his left eyes . But i couldn't help but think that he's still sexy .

" i'll be right back " i told Ivory as i rushed over to him . " good to finally see you Rodney ! I was worried sick about you !"

He smirked " glad to know you care ."

" i don't -"

He didn't let me finish my sentence . He pulled me close to him just as he had done the night before and he planted a kiss on my lips right in front of everyone . I didn't pull away and it wasn't quick either . It was passionate though , without tongues . And i kid you not , the whole room went silent .

Rodney finally pulled away looking deep into my eyes "i'm not the secretive type . I want everyone to know how i feel about you , including him ." Rodney gestured over my shoulder and i was guessing he was talking about Devon .

He'd just kissed me , and i wasn't ashamed , nor afraid of what Devon would say . I actually wanted him to do it again and again and -

" the fuck is going on , Trinity ? " Devon's voice floated over my shoulder and i tried to take a deep breath to compose myself before i turned to face him .

" nothing , " i said looking him into his eyes with a straight face .

" so you kissing him is nothing ? Bitch -"

Rodney pulled me behind him " yo' i don't appreciate you talking to the lady like that , you know ? I'd hate to have to kick two asses in one day but , i don't really mind ."

-Rodney-

" I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one " Jay-Z

Me and Devon stood face to face , toe to toe , nose to nose .

I think he thought i was going to back down , but why would i do that ? I was stilled pissed off from my fight with Marcus early in th day and i wasn't in any mood to be challenged . If Trinity wanted Devon then she'd be with him and she wouldn't let me continuously let me flirt with her . I'm starting to think that she doesn't even have real feelings for him . But either way i knew she was feeling me , and i was going to stand up for what i wanted .

The cafeteria was almost dead silent aside from a couple "oohs" and " aahhs " and a snicker here and there .

Devon's friends were in the background talking shit as usual . I wasn't scared though , especially because i heard Sal and Michael behind me talking shit .

Sal laughed " son , they must think they fucking hard or something . I'ma whoop that one in the red jacket ."

" word man , " i heard them slap hands " i been waiting to get at Devon's boys for a minute now . Perfect timing . "

Devon scrunched his face up at me " why don't you just let Trinity go so we can call this a day ."

" she ain't going no where homeboy and i really don't like just standing around talking . So if you feeling a little tired of that too then swing or step . You don't look like you too cut out for this shit ."

" i don't look like i'm cut out ?! I'll beat yo' ass pretty boy !"

" that's all talk right now . Like i said , swing or step ."

Trinity pulled on the back of my shirt as she stepped from behind me " Rodney , let's not do this . I told you -"

" you told me what ? Some lie about being in love with this punk ass ? Look , cut the shit . Me and you both know was supp . And right now , if i walk out of this lunch room without you then it'll be the last time we on speaking terms . I promise you ."

Did i sound harsh ? I didn't mean to . All i wanted was Trinity in my arms , that's it . But she couldn't even do that even though i could see she wanted to . Why was she even with Devon ? She plastered a smile on her face in front of him but it was still obvious she didn't love that nigga . Why couldn't she just face facts , it'd make it so much easier . Besides , i wasn't about to keep chasing behind her if she kept blowing me off . I don't need that shit .

Devon cut in " she don't fucking want you !"

I pushed Trinity out the way and cocked my arm back to punch Devon square in his jaw . But before i could swing i felt a had grab on to my arm . I tried to snatch my arm free so i could beat the idiot in front of me to a bloody pulp but whoever was holding me was a little too strong .

" that's enough . " said Mr . Stephon , the basketball coach " okay ! Everybody clear out of here , there is nothing to see . "

As people began to walk away the usual noises from the cafeteria drowned out the silence that was once there , but it couldn't erase the tension that was as thick as a board between me and Devon as he and his friends walked to the other side of the cafeteria .

" i'ma see you later my nigga , " that was Sal .

Michael chimed in " yeah , much love ."

I sighed and as Mr.Stephon loosened his grip i was finally able to pull my arm free .

" son , you're new here , a good kid . You're a good basketball player too . Don't let anything get to you . I'll see you at practice after school . And , uh , don't do anything stupid ." He walked from the cafeteria .

There i was , standing in the middle of the cafeteria surrounded by noise and instead of hearing it all , i heard nothing . My brain was only focused on one thing , Trinity . From where i stood i could see her kissing Devon and it was really pissing me off . Those were my lips she was putting on the low life ! But , you know , if you let some one go and they come back to you then it's meant to be .

The only thing i could do was keep my distance and ignore everything that had anything to do with her .

____________________

-Trinity-

Was i just catching an extreme case of stupidity ?

I didn't love Devon , i didn't want to walk away from Rodney with him , i didn't want to be kissing him but it was all for the best . I think .

I was confused , i wanted to convince myself that what i was feeling for Rodney was all a fake and that he'd hurt me at any minute so i had to be ready . But that wasn't true , Rodney didn't want to hurt me . My feeling were so twisted .

Anybody would tell me to just dump Devon and move on with Rodney but it's not that simple , it's really not .

After lunch i walked into my next class with Ivory beside me blabbing about some boy she'd met . When i looked around the room i saw Rodney , but of course he didn't even look up at me . He was laughing at something Sal was saying as Alexis sat on his desk top running her hand over his head .

Jealous wasn't even the word . I was beyond jealous , beyond furious , beyond pissed off . Everything in me wanted to go rip Rodney's head off and then go rip Alexis's fingers from her hand one by one . Crazy , i know , but it's just how i was feeling . I walked in the direction of Rodney's desk and when i reached him i didn't even know what to say . My heart was beating almost out of my chest . He still didn't look at me , he just continued on laughing and talking with Sal like i wasn't standing directly in front of him .

Alexis took the liberty of speaking for him " hi , may i help you ? Rodney is after all talking , but is it something you would like ?"

" what i would like is to speak to Rodney . So you can shut up ."

" girl - "

Rodney held up a hand to stop her and then he turned to look at me with cold eyes , showing no emotion . He didn't say anything he just looked me up and down with disgust on his face , and when i asked could we talk he waved his hand at me as if to dismiss me .

That hurt , more than i thought it would . What hurt even more was that i knew i deserved it .

I put my head down and hurried to my seat in the front of the class room . Not only could i hear Alexis mumbling " stupid bitch " and laughing at me with her friends , but i could also hear Rodney saying how i didn't mean shit to him .

I sighed as i let a single tear slip down my cheek and fall onto the desk .

____________________________

-Rodney-

"when the rain stops , when the fog clears ,

when the pieces come together , when there are no more tears ,

when the lies stop , when everything you say becomes sincere ,

. . . then i can love you ."

I scribbled the words onto a blank piece of paper , and just as i finished the last line i ripped the paper to shreds .

Love hurts sometimes .

-Rodney-

Days passed , 2 to be exact , and we hadn't spoken . We passed each other in the halls at school like we'd never even met , and although it was irking me , she was the one who made her choice when she walked away from me in the lunchroom the other day . I told her that if she did we wouldn't be on speaking terms but i guess she thought i was kidding . The situation was eating at my insides . Alexis had been pretty much keeping me company doing what it is that girlfriends do . So , guess in a way you could say me and her were together . She'd met my mother and everything , but my mother didn't like her for shit . She knew that me and Alexis were sexual just by our body language . But , Alexis didn't really mean shit to me . Sex is nothing if it's not with the person you really care for or love .

After school on Friday my brain was spinning and i guess my mother could tell i wasn't doing so well because as soon as she saw my face when i walked into the door she dragged me into the kitchen so we could have a talk .

I sat down at the kitchen table and watched as she began to prepare dinner " ma' , what is this about ? Me , Sal , and Michael were going to hang at Sal's house ."

" well , talk me first . I'm more important , aren't i ?" she asked teasingly .

" of course , ma' . So was sup ?"

" what's going on with you and that little girl you brought by here yesterday ?"

I sighed , i knew that was coming " nothing ."

" oh really ? That's not what i see . Who is she ?"

" my girlfriend ."

" do you like her ."

" to a certain extent , i guess so . "

My mother flipped the chicken that was frying in the skillet , stirred the macaroni and cheese then came to sit across from me at the table " i'm too young to have grand kids ."

I tried to hide the amusement that was clear on my face " and i don't want kids ."

At least not with Alexis , i thought to myself .

" sounds like we're on the same page then . No sex ."

Okay , that was it . I broke out into a laughing fit " no . . . sex ? . . You . . . Must be . . Crazy ." i said in between laughter .

" i'm not laughing ."

I calmed down a bit " ma' , Marcus got like 3 kids and 1 on the way and you ain't saying shit to him . "

" no , but i'm saying something to you . No , sex ."

"ma' , we both know i'm not a virgin so let's not even do this . And i'm not stupid enough to get some random girl pregnant anyways ."

" stupidity doesn't get girls pregnant , dicks do . Remember that ."

My mother went back to the stove to continue cooking the food .

She could be a trip sometimes if she wanted to be but i knew she was just looking out for me and i appreciated that . I loved my mother to death , no one could ever replace her . She might not be as old as my father but she knows what the hell she be talking about .

" stupidity doesn't get people pregnant , dicks do . . . " My mother's word echoed in my mind as i took a quick shower and put on a clean outfit . She was always right when it came to anything but that doesn't mean i'd follow exactly what she said . I'd just be even more care full .

________________________

-Trinity-

I woke up Saturday morning , still tired and too exhausted to move . The previous night i'd gone to the 24 hour gym down the block from my apartment building and i worked myself almost until i couldn't move anymore . I had to blow off some kind of steam or else i wasn't sure if i was going to make it much longer .

Through the past week i'd been kind of pushing Devon away ever since he and Rodney had gotten into that argument . Shit hadn't been the same with Devon for a while and it took Rodney coming into my life for me to even notice it . Devon treated me good , yeah , but he really only thought i was a trophy wife when in reality i had dreams .

I wanted to be a surgeon . Yeah , that's alot of school but that's what i wanted to be , that's all that'd make me happy . I'm guessing that Devon wants me to cook , clean , and have the babies which wouldn't happen . Since Rodney came around there are a lot of things that wouldn't happen : i would no longer keep hanging around Devon like i was made for him , i wouldn't keep holding back my feelings , and i would get what i truly deserved .

After i showered and put on a pair of black skinny jeans , a white wife beater that shows just enough cleavage , and white flip flops , i dialed Tammy's number on my cell phone . Me and her had plans to meet at a ice cream shop around the block from where i lived . Seeing as how i loved ice cream , we went almost every Saturday .

She answered in a pretty up beat voice " hello ." she sang into the phone .

" some one is Happy this morning . " i laughed " are we still going to get ice cream ?"

" duh . I'm on my way now ."

" okay ."

I hung up and just stared at my phone wishing i had Rodney's number . I really wanted to see him worst than anything . I wasn't sure why he had that effect on me but he did . And having him ignore me and act so cold toward me wasn't exactly what i wanted .

When i made it to the ice cream shop Tammy was already there . We ordered and sat at a table by the window .

I licked my ice cream , which was my favorite : chocolate mint , and sighed " girl , this Rodney thing is killing me ."

" i know , i can tell . Why don't you two just talk ?"

" because . . . i don't know ! But i know i regret denying my feelings for him . That was a huge mistake . I think . . . i could love him ."

Tammy's mouth dropped and she squealed " love ?!"

" yeah i know , it's so soon , it's only been a week but , "

" Trinity -"

" no , let me finish ." i sighed ." he's so darn cute . And the effect he has on me is crazy . The first time he kissed me i could have sworn i fell in love right then and there but , i'm so stupid ."

" Trinity -"

" why do you keep interrupting me ?!"

" because - "

A deep voice cut her off " because i'm behind you ."

I swallowed hard . It was Rodney . How much had he actually heard .

I turned around and god , was he hot ! It was like he was teasing me , licking his lips and staring down at me . I didn't know what to do . " h-hi ."

" was sup . Can you do me a favor ?"

" s-sure . Anything . What is it ?" He could have asked me to make cat noises and i would have done it right there on the spot .

He handed me his cell phone " can you take a picture of me and my girlfriend ?" He walked a few feet away to Alexis who i was just noticing . He wrapped his arms around her , that should have been around me , and they smiled , waiting for me to take the picture .

I started to destroy his cell phone , maybe break it into little itty bitty pieces then beat Alexis's ass . But , that would have been childish . And even though what he was doing was beyond childish i refused to go there . I mean , there were at least 15 other people in the shop and he decided to hand me the camera phone , that wasn't a coincidence .

I snapped the picture , handed him back his phone and turned back around to my ice cream . I all of a sudden didn't want the shit anymore . I smacked it off the table and shifted my eyes down ward . How could he , was the only question coming to mind .

My eyes were beginning to water but i wouldn't even give Rodney the satisfaction of seeing me cry . I stood up and began to walk swiftly from the ice cream shop . Tammy was yelling after me but i didn't stop for her , or for anything . I hadn't even noticed that rain was pouring down in buckets , soaking me from head to toe . I just walked until i was at my apartment building .

I entered the apartment and trudged to my room leaving big puddles of water in my path . I slammed my door closed , and not caring that my clothes were wet i got under the covers in my bed and then . . . i finally released the tears i'd been holding back .

" sweetie ." my mother banged on my door " open up . Are you okay ?"

I didn't answer . I mean , what the hell could i tell her . I wasn't in the mood for her Q&A . I just needed to be alone for awhile . She banged for a few more minute until she gave up , leaving me to the peace and quiet of my room .

_______________________

-Rodney-

You ever wanted some one to hurt like you did , feel what you felt? Feel neglected and not worth anything ? Yeah , that's how i wanted Trinity to feel because that's how she made me feel .

But seeing her walk out into the rain created a certain pain in my chest . Maybe it was time to stop all the bullshit and quit playing games , because if we continued on like we were the situation could only get worse .

But how was i going to appologize for that shit .

-Rodney-

I sighed as i stood in line at the ice cream shop with Alexis in my ear nagging me to death about how she thought that Trinity liked me . If she would just shut up for two damn second she would have seen the annoyed expression on my face .

" Did you see her ?! I'm telling you , the bitch like you . And it's not going down like that ! "

Blah , blah , blah , blah , blah .

I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned around , it was Trinity's friend Tammy . She had her hands on her hips and i could just see the anger pouring from her eyes . She opened her mouth and i was ready to get cussed out , because i deserve it .

" who the fuck , do you think you are ?! You come in here with this little ugly ass bitch on your arm thinking shit is just about to be sweet . Well i'm here to tell you that it's not . You a dirty ass dog ! That's all you are . You lead her on and then drop her - "

" i didn't - "

She put her hand up to stop me " yes , you did . Trinity might be wrong in a lot of ways but you - you are just . . . . stupid ! "

" listen , you think i feel good about what i did ? It was stupid . I like Trinity so much , i knew from the first time i laid my eyes on her that she would be mines . But then she dissed me for that Devon character . She left me standing there looking dumb . So , what was i supposed to do . I got with he closest bitch to me ."

Alexis cut in " excuse you ? So you like that trick , over me ? I look better than her ."

I laughed " no you don't ."

" i'm smarter than her ."

" no you're not ."

She stomped her foot and yelled " i fuck better than her !"

I felt like strangling her . I just knew for sure that Tammy was about to tear into me some more but instead she focused her rage on Alexis .

" you , ain't nothing but a easy hoe . Trinity is much more classier than you which is exactly why she hasn't had sex with him . " she pointed to me making a disgusted face . " you want whatever she has and you know it . And you , " she turned back to me " i wasn't surprised you fucked this bitch . I don't blame you . But just know that if you don't make this right then me and you are going to have serious problems . "

I didn't doubt that . Tammy was about 180 pounds and 5 foot 8 . She carried her self well and was actually very cute and curvaceous but she looked like she could go toe to toe with a lot of men .

Tammy put Trinity's phone number and address in my phone and left . I was beyond ecstatic . Alexis just looked on like she was getting the most important thing snatched away her , and she wasn't happy about it . She was more sad than anything . Her face resembled one of a 5 year old the way her bottom lip was poked out ..

" so that's it ? You're choosing her over me ?"

" Lex it was never a competition , it was always her ."

I left her standing there . By that time the rain had stopped and the sun was poking through the clouds . I had a lot of shit to do if i wanted to get Trinity back .

First i stopped by the mall . I got her a pair of diamond stud earrings , a Aeropostale jogging set and a pair of black and white converse . Then i got her a huge teddy bear that had 'i'm sorry' written on it's stomach . And finally i stopped by the flower shop and got her a dozen white roses .

She had to like it , she had to forgive me , if she didn't , i was't exactly sure what my next move would be .

When i made it to Trinity's apartment and knocked on the door my hands were full . I was ready to apologize , kiss her and apologize some more , get down on my knees and say i'm sorry a few more times too .

When the door opened it wasn't Trinty though . Although they looked similar so i guessed it was her mom . The lady was white with long wavy hair and brown eyes , she didn't look at all like she should be living in the hood . She looked more like the suburbs type .

" yes ?"

" um , " i paused , not sure what to say " is Trinity here ?"

She frowned " you have a teddy bear saying sorry so you must be the one who has got my baby in there crying her heart on . What did you do ?!"

Crying ?

" well , miss , i , it's a long story ."

" well , i got all day ."

She let me come in and sit in the kitchen and i explained everything to her that happened . I told her how i felt when Trinity left me standing alone for Devon , i told her how i wanted to rip off Devon's head when i saw them kissing , i even explained to her the part of how i Used Alexis as my rebound and how i flaunted her in Trinity's face . When i looked up 15 minutes had passed .

" i really like your daughter . I guess i just , screwed up . I let my ego and my pride take over . But seeing her hurt today , nearly broke me to pieces ."

She sighed , i could tell she was wondering if she could trust me or not " I don't know you , what did you say your name was ?"

" Rodney ."

" Rodney , i'm M . Not Ms.M not Lady M , Just M . And that girl in there is my daughter , she's my heart . I only have one child , meaning i only have one person to make happy . This whole week she was floating on air and then , toward the end , she looked so fragile . I've never seen her like that , and i never want to again . If you hurt her again , so help me god , i will - "

" i won't , " i let a smile tug at the corners of my mouth " i won't hurt her , M . All i want to do is make her happy ."

" her room is the first door on the right . Go ahead ."

I grabbed the stuff that i had bought Trinity and made my way to her door , smiling like an idiot . If her mother liked me then all i had to do was get Trinity to forgive me and then . . . . well , i don't know what would happen after that . Maybe she'd be my girlfriend and it'd be her that i'd flaunt off to the world instead of Alexis . I wanted that more than anything .

I knocked and heard shuffling around on the inside , but no voice . I was getting antsy . Hugging her and having her in my arms was the only thing on my mind . She was like , an angel to me and i wanted nothing more than to keep it that way .

No lies , no more games .

The door finally opened , and the look on Trinity's face was the same look on mines . Shock . But we were shocked for different reasons . She was shocked to see me . And i , on the other hand , was shocked at the tear marks and the redness of her eyes , they were so puffy . It looked like she'd been crying non - stop since she'd left the ice cream shop .

She shook her " god , now i'm going crazy . I'm seeing him outside my door ."

" no , your not going crazy . It's -"

She slammed the door in my face before i could finish what i was saying .

Dropping the gifts i had i knocked lightly on the door " Trinity , please , baby , i'm sorry ." I continued to knock until she opened the door back .

" sorry ?! " her voice cracked " you're not sorry ! You did that shit on purpose . What does she have that i don't ?! Huh ? Is it her smile or her looks -"

" no , i swear . You are perfect the way you are . I don't need any one but you ."

" but you left me for her ! "

" you left me for him !"

She shook her head and lowered her voice " that was different ."

" different how ? Do you know how i felt ? I felt the way you feel right now , only i didn't cry . You couldn't even see how bad i wanted you because all you could see was how bad you wanted him ."

" it's not like that . Me and him , we haven't even spoken in 2 days ! I stopped returning his phone calls . I like you . I - I need you . " She whispered the last part , hanging her head low .

I put a finger under her chin to lift her head until she was looking in my eyes " i need you too . "

" but Alexis - "

" forget about her . She can never compare to you . She's nothing to me ." I Bent down and pressed my lips lightly against hers , making sure to express my need for her in a way that i knew Devon couldn't .

From then on it was fuck what anybody had to say , she was mines , and she wasn't going anywhere .

_____________________________

-Trinity-

Although my eyes were red , and although my hair was standing all over my head , he still wanted me .

We kissed a little more and after i changed my bed sheets and my clothes that were still damp , we layed down and fell asleep . He had his arms wrapped around me making me feel comfortable and loved . And not once did he try anything .

He didn't want me for sex , or for anything like that , he just wanted me . Hell , it felt good to be wanted by someone that i wanted just as bad .

I woke up the next morning , more refreshed than ever . My mother entered my room a few seconds later .

She had a huge grin on her face and pointed to Rodney who was still behind me sleep " breakfast is ready ." She said , and the exited back out .

I turned around to face Rodney . I studied his features for a moment , he was truly a gorgeous man . Where had he been all my life ?

He must be something special if i had forgiven him already , but that's just how it was . He made my heart thump against my chest making it feel like it would pop out at any moment , he gave me butterflies just by looking at me . He didn't have to try to hard to be the amazing person he was , it was natural .-Trinity-

Finally , Rodney's eyes began to open . I felt like i had been waiting at least 20 minutes but it turned out to only be 5 .

He leaned in and planted a kiss right on my lips , and then he moved back to observe me " you look beautiful , even in the morning ."

" well considering how i looked yesterday when you came , this is nothing ."

He sighed " yeah , well , about that . . . i'm sorry . I was being an ass . It's just when - "

" i'm sorry too . I have never loved Devon , but that was 8 long years that i wasn't ready to admit that i wasted . I'm actually happy you came ."

" aw , " he kissed my lips again , this time a little longer and with a little more pressure "i think somebody likes me ."

" maybe just a little ."

He smirked " yeah , don't forget i heard what you were saying to Tammy the other day in the ice cream shop about me . "

I could feel my face becoming heated from embarrassment . I had forgotten that he'd heard that . He probably remembered every single word i'd said . Goodness , when Tammy kept interrupting me , why couldn't i take a hint and shut up ?!

"er - " i stopped after that . Nothing was going to make him un-hear what he'd heard so there was no point in me trying to convince him i that i hadn't said it .

He laughed and rubbed his thumb over my burning red cheeks " ah , it's okay babe . I won't tell nobody that you love me if you don't tell nobody thatyou got me all sprung and buying gifts for you ."

"Gifts ? You didn't give me any gifts ."

He scrunched up his eyebrows and then a look of realization washed over his face " oh yeah , i was so busy apologizing to you that i forgot to give them to you . I left them in the hall way ."

I slapped his chest playfully " that's not funny , the next time i really do want a gift ."

" uh , i'm serious . Go look ."

I stood up , almost running to the door but before i looked out i turned back to face him . " if i get out there and don't see a gift , Rodney , i will -"

" just look !"

I peeped out the door and sure enough there was a big bag leaning up against a even bigger teddy bear . I gasped and ran over to check it out . The first thing i pulled out of the bag was a baby blue Aeropstale jogging suit , it was so cute . Next was a pair of black and white Converse , i''d been dying to get some ! They'd go with almost anything and since i was the kind of person who absolutely loved gym shoes , i loved Converse . I mean , who doesn't !

I picked up the teddy bear , squeezing it in my arms . Underneath it were a dozen of white roses . They were kind of . . . dead , but it's the thought that counted ! And i knew that if he'd given them to me when he'd first come over then they would have been beautiful .

I put the stuff in my closet and sat the teddy bear in my computer chair . I plopped down on my bed , laying flat on my back . When i turned to look at Rodney , he was already looking at me and grinning big . He was waiting for me to tell him how much i liked the gifts but i wasn't going to do any such thing . I looked the other way trying to hold back the laugh that was just itching to get out .

" well , " he shifted on the bed , pulling my body close to his , his front pressing against my back " i guess you won't like the other gift then either , i'll just go refund them and get my money back ."

Well , don't get mad , but i needed to know what else he got me ! I love gifts , as does every girl , so i had to know right then and there .

I turned to face him " what is it ?!"

" i'm not telling ."

" oh come on ! Please ." i put on my best innocent face , pleading with him through my eyes .

He groaned and shifted his eyes from my face " i'm not looking at that sexy face that you making , so i'm not telling you . "

" why noooooot ! Tell me ." I kissed him lightly on his lips just trying to tease him a little , but i ended up teasing myself more than him . He placed his hand on the back of my neck bringing me closer for another one , but hell i wasn't going to argue with that . His lips were so soft , i could kiss them all night if i wanted to .

I let out a soft moan trying to pull back but knowing my body was too weak to do so . He was putting me in a state of temporary paralysis where the only thing that moved was my lips . His teeth lightly gripped my body lip and ran across it . I didn't know why it felt good , too good . It make my whole body shake in a way i never thought possible .

I wanted more of him , so much more of him , but i shouldn't have . It was wrong but i couldn't find the strength to pull away .

Rodney must have sensed my needing for more because he pulled back , his breathing a little faster than usual . " Trinity ." He said my name in a hushed voice . It sounded so sexy coming from his mouth . I couldn't help myself , i leaned over to kiss him again but he only gave me a peck .

I rolled my eyes " what , is something wrong ?"

" nah , i just , i'm not trying to rush you . I want you to do this at yo' own pace ."

" but you're not - "

" it doesn't matter . You might think you want this but you really don't . It's just your body talking ."

" well , my body knows exactly what i want then ."

He shook his head but that didn't stop him from trailing hot kisses along my neck and collar bone , each one only raised my desire that much more . He was right , i wanted to have sex with him but not at that moment , but the way he was making me feel was making me thing otherwise .

He began to suck on a little section of my neck causing me to arch my back in pleasure .

He sighed as he once again pulled away from me " i want you so bad right now ." he mumbled turning his head the other way . When he said that , i knew that the kissing was getting to him so i just let it go because i really wasn't ready for the whole sex part , at least not with a boy i'd known a week !

" my mom made breakfast , want to go get some ?"

" sure . "

We climbed from my bed and went to the kitchen .

________________________________

-Rodney-

We got up from her bed and even the way she was walking was turning me on , dammit . And it didn't help any that the shorts she had on barely even covered her plump behind .

I sighed , once again , it wasn't like i was starving for sex or anything but , she started with the kiss and i just really didn't want to stop . And my man down stairs didn't want me to stop either , if you know what i mean .

Before we could make it to the kitchen i pinned Trinity on the wall , with her arms pinned above her head and her back to my front . She let out a light gasp of shock but didn't say anything to stop me .

Damn , Damn , Damn , i had to get out of there . But i wasn't leaving without a kiss .

She turned her head to the side and i leaned in pressing my lips to hers . They were so little and sensual . She ground her butt into my . . . you know . I pulled back letting her go .

" um , Trinity , i , uh , forgot that i got this thing i've got to do before school tomorrow . So , um , i'll call you ."

She looked disappointed but relieved at the same time , from the looks of it she was battling with her good and her bad side on whether or not she should let me leave . I didn't let her finish battling , i just refused to take her when i knew she wasn't ready .

I pulled the box that had the diamond stud earrings in it from my pocket and placed it in her hand . Then i quickly slipped on my shoes and made a fast exit . From the other side of the apartment door i could hear her scream in excitement .

I gave a half ass laugh , glad that i could make her happy at all .

______________________________________________

-Rodney-

Monday came and went like any other day , i didn't see Trinity at school because she had a doctors appointment . Tuesday was a quick pass too , i was in detention for the whole day because early that morning i had cussed out some teacher who spilled her coffee on my shoes . It was accidental , some peoples reflexes would have been to punch her but mines where to just cuss her out . And then , Tuesday after school i had basketball practice . So , i was booked up and missing Trinity bad .

I woke up Wednesday morning feeling a little bit shitty that i hadn't seen the only girl who could make my day brighter . The sun was nowhere in sight as the rain poured down non stop , pelting the ground making music of it's own kind . I slapped my hand on the off button of my alarm clock that was beeping annoyingly .

I looked over to Marcus's bed and saw that the covers were pulled back and the bed was empty . Ever since he and i had gotten into that fight , he'd started to come home less and less and i couldn't say that i minded . I got the room to myself and plus the house was a lot quieter . . usually . But on this morning , i could hear my parents going at it , once again .

" your cheating ass !" my mama yelled at the top of her lungs " i don't even know why i keep you around ."

" because i pay the bills !"

WHAMP ! My mother must have smacked him kinda hard if i could hear it .

I tried to zone out the rest of their argument as i got ready for school . I decided i'd wear a pair of baggy faded blue jeans , a pain blue v neck shirt and my wheat colored Timberland boots . I peeped in the living room and Raven was sleep on the couch . I carried her to my room and tucked her under the covers before slipping on my jacket , book bag , and getting the umbrella ready so i wouldn't get soaked from head to toe when i walked out the door .

I caught the tail end of something my mother was creaming before i slammed the door behind me " . . . that's why your sons don't love you anyway ! . . . "

My mother , was a very wise and sweet woman . But when she got mad she'd spin any story back on you to make you feel bad . She'd do just about anything to get you to shut up . My dad's kids were his soft spot , she knew that , and she used it against him . Sneaky and conniving . Sometimes i'd hope i didn't have those traits .

" ass and titties , ass and titties , " those were the first few things from Sal's mouth when i walked into the already bustling main hallway of the school bulding .

I laughed out laughed , trying to hide the fact that i knew he was talking about most of the girls that were in the hallway . Even though it was raining outside i could see that that didn't mean a thing to most girls because they still wore their short skirts and low cut tops like it didn't bother them . And on top of that , they were all wet , it was just a cry for attention .

My eye caught Trinity in the distance . She was dressed well for the weather . She had on a pair of black Polo boots , a pink and black stripped collar shirt and a pair of black skinny jeans . At least she had enough sense to know what to put on ! She didn't care about standing out from the crowd , she wanted to be a individual .

I was about to make my way over to her and her friends but Alexis stepped in front of me causing me to stop .

" i know you not just going to walk past me like you don't see me .

Dammit , here we go .

-Rodney-

I sighed , like what the hell . Why couldn't Alexis just leave me alone . I knew it was wrong playing with her feelings but hell , i couldn't help it . It was all a mistake . I didn't want anything to do with her , although she was looking really pretty standing in from of me , she just wasn't Trinity .

" Alexis , wassupp , whats the problem ?"

" you !" She practically screamed " i thought you were coming to my house last night ."

" listen , me and you aren't anything anymore . Okay ? It was a mistake , a fling ."

" no , no , no , it wasn't . You don't know what you're saying . I gave you some of the best mind blowing sex ever !"

I looked up and spotted Trinity looking at me skeptically " yeah , Alexis , you're right . The sex was great . But it's over . O-v-e-r , what do you not get ."

She was quiet , the hallway was a lot quieter than it had been but people were trying to mind their own business but i could tell they were listened . I let out a frustrated sigh , i didn't want any confrontation , i just wanted to get to my girl that i had missed so much the past few days . Why couldn't everything go smoothly .

She grabbed my arm as i tried to brush past her " Don't walk away from me Rodney . Look , i love you you ."

I snatched my arm away .

Love ? She didn't know shit about love . I did feel kind of bad for playing her like i did but it happened and she just couldn't move on . She looked so broken , and when i first met her she was so strong and independent . But in just a week and a half's time , she was no longer that girl . I could see hurt and pain behind her eyes that she probably wouldn't even have admitted was there .

" after school , stop by my house , aight ? We need to talk ." and i walked past her toward Trinity . Maybe me and her would be able to work something out , as friends ! That's it . I didn't want to lose Trinity , and that's what Alexis wanted .

Trinity held her books closer to her chest as i stopped in front of her "Rodney ." she said in a voice that had a hint of attitude .

" wassupp , babe ." I tried to kiss her but she just side stepped me leaving me confused . " wassupp? Did i do something wrong ?"

" why did you tell Alexis to come to your house after school ?"

Damn , it was just one problem after the next .

Ivory and Tammy , who were both standing behind Trinity , turned their noses up at me like i had actually done something wrong . I'd have to explain , and even then she wouldn't believe me .

" because , me and her just need to talk .. I want to make it clear to her that we're just friend , and try to be friends with her . I'm not cheating , babe , if that's what you thinking ."

" cheating ? I didn't think you were cheating ." She said . But by the embarrassment on her face i could tell that was exactly what she was thinking . " stop looking at me like that ."

" why ? I think your beautiful , i want to look at you all day long ."

She had softened up by that time and believed what i said , hell , i'm glad she did because it was the truth . But Ivory and Tammy didn't believe shit i had to say .

" we know you fucked her , " Ivory started " you think you just going to play our girl ? Nope , you got another think coming - "

Tammy cut her off " yeah , if i have to i'll beat your ass myself ."

" yeah , i know what kind of person you are ."

" and don't think we not gon' have a eye on you because i'm going to watching you ."

Ivory grunted in agreement and pulled Tammy away so me and Trinity could talk .

I gave a strained laugh and pulled Trinity into my arms and whispered into her ear " i missed you ."

I could feel her smile where her face was buried in my chest " i missed you too ." she mumbled . Then she pulled back with a thoughtful look on her face " Rodney , did Alexis -"

The bell rang cutting her off . Yes , thank you Jesus . I could tell what she was about to ask would be something i didn't want to answer , and if i did answer she wouldn't like it at all . I just knew things like that .

First bell we had American history , or English literature. . . or something . Sal sat to my left , Michael to my right , and for once Trinity sat in front of me .

" today class we'll be learning about the slave trade ."

The slave trade ?! What the hell ? Didn't i learn that in like 9th grade , what were we going back to that shit for . I just zoned her out . I'd get the notes from somebody later in the day . I put both my hands on Trinity's sides and rubbed up and down . She stiffened under my touch a little but relax after a minute or two and went back to doing her work .

I couldn't help but to touch her , i didn't want to keep my hands off off her . I could do without sex , but i couldn't do without touching her .

How could i like a girl so much in only a week and a half , that was just crazy . I couldn't explain my feelings for her because they were unexplainable , i couldn't deny my feelings for her because they were undeniable . All i could do was follow my heart which was pulling directly to her . When i hadn't seen her for those 2 days i literally felt like i was suffocating , or drowning , or maybe something worse . But you get the idea . It was painful , almost felt like when i lost my grandmother , and believe me , when i lost her i lost my damn mind .

" what's wrong ?" Trinity asked over her shoulder .

I hadn't even realized i had sighed loud and heavy " um , nothing babe . I'm fine ."

She just rolled her eyes .

Sal gave me a confused look , pointing to Trinity and then to my hands that still rubbed gently up and down on her sides . He raised his eyebrows as if to ask if we were together and i just gave a nod .

" you shittin' me right ?!" he screamed . And since the class was dead quiet for the first time , everybody turned their head to look at us .

The teacher took a glance at Sal " Samuel please keep quiet , and you , Rodney , remove your hands from her ."

I sighed and placed my hands flat on my desk , very irritated .

_______________________________________________

-Trinity-

As soon as his hands left my side i instantly felt cold . I wanted his hands back on me but i didn't want to beg and i didn't want to seem like a slut or something . I continued copying my notes hearing Sal and Rodney whisper back and forth .

" so you two are like , a couple ?" Sal asked .

" something like that ."

" psssstt , " Michael said from the other side of Rodney " how come you always get the cute smart ones and i get the hoes ?"
" because i actually want a relationship and you two want fuck buddies ." I felt Rodney's lips press lightly against my neck making me giggle .

" true that . If a girl give head i'm all for it ." Sal said laughing .

I just shook my head , happy that i wanted some one who wanted me back . And he was so perfect to me . Now , of course Alexis was going to be a problem , i felt kind of insecure when it came to her but . . . it was going to be fine . I wasn't going to let her get to me and i wasn't going to let Rodney go without a fight , believe that .

-Trinity-

School was good , but i was glad when that last bell rang signaling the end of the day . Did i want to be away from Rodney ? No . But i had cheer leading practice . It would be the first i'd attend in a few days and i was overly joyed . You must not get it ! Cheer leading is in my blood and i love it just as much as i love life it's self . That should tell you something . I didn't cheer for attention , but for fun .

" where you think you going ?"

I was standing at my locker talking to Ivory about her boy problems when i felt Rodney wrapping his arms around me from behind . I stopped mid sentence and felt my cheeks begin to hurt from the smile that spread so far across my face . Yes , he could do that just by one small gesture .

" to cheerleading preactice ." i turned to face him , still standing in his arms .

The look on his face was on his face made me catch my breath .

He was looking at me with nothing but love and compassion written on his face . I mean , i know we weren't in love yet but . . . that doesn't mean anything . His eyes were bursting with emotions and he was open , i could tell . And i was actually the same damn way . Devon , was barely even a thought in my mind .

" so , i get to see you jumping around in that little outfit ? I'm in !"

I playfully punched him in his chest but shyly giggled .

How did he even notice my outfit ?!

He pecked my lips " i'm just playin' . But , ay , i'll see you in the gym . I've gotta go get ready for basketball practice . "

I shook my head and turned back to Ivory .

Ivory was just staring at me with her mouth hung open .

I laughed " close your mouth before a dick fly in it !"

She rolled her eyes " I just didn't think you'd really forgive that cheating bastard ."

" cheating ?"

" yes , cheating ! I know you heard him tell Alexis to be over his house after school -"

" yeah , so they could talk !"

" you know what , " she slammed my locker closed out of anger " do what the hell you want ! But , don't come crying to me when he tears yo' ass apart !"

She stormed away from me , switching her hips hard back and forth and throwing her weave over each shoulder like the hair was real .

What the hell was her problem ?

If i didn't know any better i would have thought she wanted him for herself .

__________________________________________________________

-Rodney-

After i changed into my basketball shorts and pair of Air Max i jogged into the middle of the basketball court where the rest of the people who made the cut were .

I sat on the floor like everybody else and began to do the stretches .

" okay team , listen up , " Mr . Stephon , the basketball coach started " we've got up coming games . This Friday we play Rixon High . I need you ready for that , which means practice everyday this week . . . "

He kept talking but i blanked him out as i watched Trinity across the gym in her cheer leading outfit kicking her legs up . Hell , i didn't know what to call that move but it was damn sexy . I had to get my mind off of that ! I didn't want Trinity for her beauty or her body . She was smart , loving , amazing and i was sure there was so much more to her if she'd just let me in . And i knew it would take time for her to open up to me but i was willing to take all the time in the world if she'd let me , just to get to know her .

" stop looking at my girlfriend ."

I clenched my jaws instantly as i heard Devon's voice next to me . This nigga just didn't know how close i was to punching him repeatedly in the face . He was really about to get to me , and as much as i was trying not to let that happen , i wasn't sure how long i'd be able to hold my anger in .

He was so close to sending me into a fit of rage , and i was so close to not giving a damn about any consequences .

" man , why don't you get the fuck away from me ?"

He laughed " then why don't you leave what's mines alone ."

" apparently she's not yours when she's hugged up on me ."

" you ain't shit but a past time to her , that's all . I got 8 years on her ."

" well that must not mean shit to her , now shut the fuck up before i lose it ."

" lose it ?" he stood up " you ain't said shit but a word . wassup ?"

I stood up too , he wasn't intimidating me at all , if anything he was just adding fuel to an already burning fire . I cocked back my arm , balled up my fist and punched him dead in his jaw . Once , twice , three times . . .

His head snapped from left to right after each punch that connected with his face .

His stumbled back and touched the corner of his mouth where blood was leaking out .

He charged me and hell i did the same thing but we were both held back by fellow team mates before we even laid a finger on each other .

" break it up ! Just break it up !" Mr. Stephon got in the middle of us " you 2 are making me sick ! I have a mind to suspend you both . Do you want that to happen ?!" He turned to me .

I sighed , breathing heavily through my nose " no ."

" no what ?"

" no sir !"

" then control yourself ! You 2 , sit out this practice . And if you 2 fight again . . . . " he looked between the both of us " you are going to have to fight me . Now go sit ."

I snatched my arms from my team mates who were still holding them and made my way to the bench on the side of gym where the cheerleaders were while Devon sat on the other side staring me up and down .

Trinity came and sat by me " what happened now ?"

" ask that punk ass bi-"

" Rodney ! Stop it !"

I chuckled " my bad . But , his - his ," i stopped because i couldn't figure out what word i could use to call him besides a bitch , but i coldn't think of one . " anyway , he keep pushing me babe . And i promise you i can't take it . "

" it's okay ." she kissed me on my cheek " i've gotta go ."

She stood up but i grabbed her and pulled her back down " promise me something ."

" anything ."

" promise me , that you won't let that clown ass dude break us up ."

She smiled " i promise you , he can't break us up ."

She said it , but i wasn't sure if she was right . I mean , she and Devon had been together 8 years .

8 years !

That's a long time , she had to have some sort of feelings for him that made her stay , right ? Or maybe i was just tripping . Shit , yeah , i was just tripping . Trinity was mines and all mines , and there was no way Devon had the power to break us up .

Since i was sitting out that practice , i just decided to go home because Alexis was still coming over my house which i hope turned out the way it was supposed to .

-Rodney-

I changed back into my regular clothes , slung my book bag over my shoulder and exited the side gym door that led right to the street .

When the wind whipped , it was actually quite cold . But my brain wasn't thinking about that . My brain was focused on that Devon character . He was seriously provoking me , i was going to rip his damn head off at any minute . I felt like my back was against a wall and the only way for me to fight that was to beat Devon senseless . But i was trying my hardest not to lose it .

Believe me , i was .

When i made it home the house was empty . Empty , except for Raven who was sitting next to the kitchen door crying her heart out .

I dropped my bookbag and picked her up " what's wrong ?"

" mom and dad . . . they had another fight . And mom told dad to get out . And dad said okay . So , he pack . And before he got to the door mom smack him and - and ." She burst into tears again . Once i finally got her to calm down after giving her a glass of water , she started again " he choke her . And she fall . After he call 911 , and they all leave ."

" leave ?! Leave , like go to the hospital ?"

" yes , yes ."

" okay . Come , get a jacket . We've gotta go ."

I put on hers and my jacket and got ready to leave . And guess who i bumped into in the hallway . . . Alexis . I had forgotten all about her ass , because she was a non-factor . She didn't matter . What mattered was my mom in the hospital . I wanted to cuss Alexis out just to have something to do but i held it in because i'd save that for my dad . I felt like whooping my dad's ass , and i would do that with no hesitation when i laid eyes on him .

" Rodney , are you okay ?"

" no , " i bumped past her with Raven running behind me " i can't do this shit right now . I've gotta get to the hospital ."

" hospital ? What happened ?"

" i don't have time to explain . "

" well , i'll take you ."

I hesitated for a moment but her taking me was quicker than the bus so i just agreed and we all got into her silver Toyota .

God , please let my mama be alright . Losing my grandmother and my mother both is not in my plans . And i swear to you , if my dad killed my mama , then he won't ever see the light of day again .

______________________________________

-Trinity-

Cheer leading practice finished up about a half an hour after Rodney left . I would have been in a good mood except i was worried about Rodney . He looked more pissed than i'd ever seen anyone, his face didn't show it , but his eyes did . His eyes were leaking with annoyance and hatred for Devon . He looked like - like he could've killed Devon at any minute . I was glad he didn't , i didn't want him in jail .

I waited until the last girl had left the locker room to shower , i always did . I mean , i knew i was beautiful but i felt kind of self conscious sometimes . I'm not the picture perfect model type . Part of the reason i'm not is because of the scars that run all around and across my stomach . The scars are from a harder period in my life , one that i do not wish to discuss with anyone .

I stripped to my birthday suit and entered the showers , i turned the hot water up as high as it would go and just relaxed under it , letting it beat down on my skin and wash away my worries .

________________________________________

-Devon-

I watched Trinity .

Don't call me a stalker , but she looked so good .

I snuck into the girls shower room , since she took her showers so late after everyone left , no one would ever know what i'd been doing .

I missed her so much . 8 years of my life is what i'd given her and she'd started to act like some ungrateful bitch ! Can you believe it ? I told her i loved her and everything . I was the good guy to her , and she just had to leave me for that pussy Rodney . He wasn't shit compared to me . I could do so much for Trinity . All i needed was another chance .

Wait , what was i thinking ?!

It wasn't my fault she left me , it was her's . She's a hoe . I started to think that she'd been cheating on me the whole time we'd been together since she never had sex with me .

I sighed , i could feel my palms begin to sweat and my blood begin to boil as i watched her soap up her whole body . Minus the scars over her stomach she was beautiful . I laughed inside but then cringed as i remembered how she got 'em . They didn't just spring up , i didn't mean to do it , i never meant to hurt her . But there was a time where we'd hit a rough patch in our relationship . I was drinking and she was fucking nagging me to death . We -

My train of thought stopped as the shower turned off and Trinity exited and walked over to her locker butt naked . She didn't even see me . But just for my sake , i hid anyways .

I was still angry , Trinity needed to get what was coming to her ! She'd broken up with me after i'd been nothing but loving to her ass . She deserved nothing but bad .

I stripped down to nothing but my boxers .

I decided that i was going to make her pay .

-Trinity-

I stood at the locker , rubbing my body all over with lotion after i dried it off .

I kept thinking about Devon and Rodney .

Why wouldn't Devon just leave me alone ? That's all i really wanted ! I just wanted to be happy with Rodney and build up our relationship but Devon was trying to make that impossible . 8 years is a long time , but i finally came to my senses and wanted to move on . I don't love Devon , never have and i never will .

" you look so sexy ."

Someones voice startled me , making me jump damn near out of my skin . I couldn't see their face but i could see their body and i knew that they were naked . Their face was hidden in the shadows .

I grabbed my towel and wrapped it around my body " who's there ?"

" what , you don't remember me now ? Damn , we broken up for a few days and all of a sudden i'm not even a memory ." Devon . " i gave you 8 years , and you're not walking away from me that damn easy ."

Devon stepped out of the shadows and the look on his face was one of pure hurt and hatred . But how could he hate me ? I was only doing what was best for us ! That's all . I would never love him and i damn sure was no longer happy with him so , why couldn't he let me go . I knew he'd eventually find a girl who would love him and give him whatever he wanted but it wouldn't be me .

Now , the look on Devon's face alone scared me .

I'm not one of those stupid black people who wait around to get killed or raped or whatever other bad thing that could happen . I'm the kind of black person who does the smart thing .

I dashed around the benches and tried to make my way from the locker room . Unfortunately for me , right as i reached the door way i was tackled to the ground and flipped to face him . Devon's body straddled my own .

" what do you want , Devon . I'll give you anything you want ."

" what if i want you ?" He asked in a menacing tone . He pinned my hands over my head with one hand , and with his other hand he began to roam my body .

" please , " i begged " let me go ."

He kissed my cheek and ran him tongue across my lips , all i could think about was how i was going to get out of the situation . Rodney should have been there . He was supposed to wait for me after practice but instead he left early when he and Devon got into it . He wasn't even thinking about me . I needed to find a way out , on my own .

Then i decided to play it cool and go along with whatever he said , thinking that would get me out of the locker room that was beginning to close in around me .

" bitch you not going nowhere ! 8 long ass years and you never so much as even touched me ! A kiss here and there but that was it ! Were you cheating on me ?!"

" no , no ! Why would i cheat on you ?! You were my life , you still are . Look , please don't do this . Let me go and i'll go back with you and you can get anything you want . Please , just don't do this ."

Devon pulled back looking me in my eyes . He was searching them for any sign that i was lying , but i showed no signs . My look was the most sincere one that i could muster up for a lie as big as that . But , my innocence depended on it , so i gave him no reason to think anything other than what i was saying .

"what about Rodney ?"

" he's nothing to me , Devon . He threatened me , that's why i'm with him ." Lies ! Those were all fucking lies .

His grip on my arms loosened and i took the opportunity to push him off of me , hop up and run from the locker room . And when i say i ran , i ran all the way out of the gym and down the street . My apartment building was 3 blocks away and i ran the whole 3 blocks , not stopping for anything . And that was risky . All i had on was a little flimsy towel that was rising up with each stride i took but i didn't let that stop me .

I dropped to my knees when i was finally in my apartment . I began to sob as i collapsed right there on the hallway floor .

At least i was safe and sound . I'd have to start being more careful .

________________________

-Rodney-

We pulled up in front of the hospital and Alexis parked . We all got out and rushed in . I went to the front desk " excuse me , i'm here to see - "

" just a minute sir , you'll have to wait . " The nurse behind the nesk said .

" wait ? Look my mom is -"

" sit down and wait your turn !"

I was ready to jump over the desk and strangle her ass until she turned purple in the face . It wasn't the day to get smart with me . My anger was boiling over and she was really testing me .

" Rodney , " Alexis grabbed my hand " let's just wait . It'll be okay . Promise ."

I was a little hesitant to sit down but i did anyway .

Me and Alexis sat next to eachother and Raven sat across from us in her own chair .

Alexis held onto my hand for dear life , just trying to comfort me .

" you okay Rodney ? You look stressed ."

I sighed " i'm fine . I just need to make sure my mom is okay . That's all . And when i see my dad i - "

" it's okay . Don't do anything you'll regret . He's not worth it ."

On the way to the hospital i'd explained to Alexis what Raven had said and how my mom and dad where always fighting . She listened , she understood , and most of all , she could relate .

" thanks Alexis , you really don't have to be here ."

" no , it's okay . I want to be . We're friends right ?"

I smiled " yeah , friends ."

At that moment it was something about Alexis that just made me want to kiss her , i wanted to hold her and never let go .

It wasn't love . It was lust .

She was just being so supportive and it was making my heart reach out to her .

I leaned forward seeing if she would allow me to kiss her , and when she shook her head yes i went in for the kill .

I pressed my lips against her's making her moan out in pleasure .

The kiss was nothing like wat i experienced with Trinity , but it was enough to make me want her .

She finally pulled away , staring me deep into my eyes " Rodney , i'm -"

-Rodney-

I cocked my head to the side and stared at Alexis .

I heard her say something , but I was too caught up to actually process what it was . All I heard her say was "I'm " and then I couldnt make out shit else . What was she ? Pregnant ? Oh hell no !

I couldnt help but pray that that wasn't what she said . I mean , she was a easy lay , meaning she let me have sex right from the beginning . But we were careful , so so careful .

But what if I slipped up and hadn't even noticed ?!

I cleared my throat trying to keep a steady voice " what did you just say ?"

She gave me a funny look like I had just asked the dumbest question on earth !

" I said , I'm p-"

I cut her off , panicking " aww damn ! You can't be pregnant . I swear . We were careful Alexis . This can't be it !"

After staring at me blankly for a few moments , she burst into a hysterical fit of laughter . When she finally calmed down she pinched my cheek " you're so cute when you worry . But if you would have let me finish I was going to say that I'm pleased to be here with you ."

I let out a sigh of relief and hugged Alexis as tight as I could .

I was in no position to be a father , nor was I ready to be one . Shit , I've been around the block a few times , I know what a child can do to soneones life . A child can be a beautiful thing and a joy to have but it can also ruin a person's dreams . I don't want that .

Maybe in a few years when I've got a job and my own place but this was the wrong time for children .

As I hugged her , I peered over Alexis's shoulder and watched as my father came into my line of view and began to take long strides toward me . I was no longer relieved or relaxed . My whole body tensed up and I was thinking of ways to kill my father which was shit that should have never crossed my mind .

-Rodney-

I pulled away from Alexis's embrace and stood up . My father was only a few feet away from me and was still coming . I was struggling to keep my anger under control . This was more serious than Devon pissing me off by talking some lil shit : my father , the man i'd trusted my whole life , who i would have killed for , had put his hands on the woman who literally guides me through life . My mother is my rock . She knows me like the back of her hand and she'll do anything for me . We have such a strong connection and seeing anyone hurt her is like some one punching me in my face , and no one puts their hands on me and get's away with it .

I sighed .

It was taking far too long for my father to reach me . Shit was moving in slow motion , my adrenaline was pumping through my veins making my hands shake in anticipation .

If i just punched him once , will anyone care ?I thought to myself .Just one punch .

When he planted his feet about a foot away from me , i balled up my fist , cocked it back , and as bad as i wanted to punched him , i couldn't allow myself to do it . The look of remorse that was plastered on him face was screaming for me to calm down , but deep down in side a fire still burned there . Although i dropped my arm back down to my side , i still wanted to fuck him up .

" son , " he dropped his head " i'm so so sorry ."

I was really about to tear into his ass good in the middle of the hospital floor . But then i saw Marcus , and i wanted to jump on him . What the fuck ? Was it piss off Rodney day or some shit ?! Marcus hadn't been home in . . . . a few days , so why was he even at the hospital ? He didn't give a fuck about our mother , and if he did then he had a funny way of showing it .

Raven ran to Marcus who was standing a few feet behind my father " Marcus ! Marcus !" She screamed .

With a smug smile , Marcus picked Raven up and spun her around .

I couldn't take it anymore .

I just wanted to see my mother and then get the hell out of there .

I walked back up to the desk with Alexis behind me . " excuse me , i'm here to see Martina Halt . "

The nurse looked at me and sighed " didn't i tell you to wait ?"

" bitch -"

Alexis grabbed me and moved me behind her " excuse me , but , we're in kind of a hurry and we need to make sure she's okay , so can you please do me this favor ?" Alexis gave her the sweetest smile .

She can be ghetto when she wants to be , i know it , but she's never shown that side around me . All i'd seen so far was the sweet and shy side and i can't say i really minded .

The nurse rolled her eyes but started typing on her keyboard .

" room 320 , second floor ."

" thank you miss ."

I smiled , maybe having Alexis as a friend wouldn't be so bad .

When we finally got to the second floor i was damn near speed walking and knocking people over trying to get to the right room . Believe me , wheelchairs were being tipped over and bed's were getting pushed out the way . I heard Alexis telling me to calm down but , i couldn't , really . If your mom was laid in the hospital , i believe some of you would have done the same thing .

" mom ?" I peeped into room 320 .

My mom was sitting up in the bed laughing at the Comedy Central channel .

When she heard my voice she sighed and muted the tv " yes son ?"
I entered the room , holding the door open for Alexis " you okay ?"

" well , " she looked at me " i'm just fine . "

" how can you say that when - "

" when what ?! Look , i said i'm fine and that means i'm damn fine . Don't try to find a hidden meaning behind my words because there isn't one ."

" But dad -"

" Rodney , shut up ! He didn't do a damn thing ! So , get it out of your head . Your father is a good man . He's always there for us and - and . . . . he pays the bills . You don't find too many men like that anymore ."

I twisted up my face , fighting with myself to not scream " is that what the fuck this about ? Money ? If it's about money i'll get you money ! I'll support you mama . But , daddy did this . I know it and you do too . Raven fucking seen the shit ! Don't tell me you're okay and that nothing happened because i know you're fucking lying ."

My mother just shook her head .And right when she was about to speak she finally realised Alexis standing next to me " and what is that tramp doing here ? You got other people all in my business ? You know what , you're just like your father , stupid ."

I gave a bitter laugh " you know what ? You're not the same woman who gave birth to me and who used to hug and kiss me when i'd fall down the steps or when i had a nightmare . You're . . . different . Your not my mother ."

" get the fuck out !" She screamed at the top of her lungs .

I turned to the door but before i left i looked over my shoulder at my mother . She looked the same , but something inside of her had changed . The woman i'd known would have killed my father if he ever put his hands on her . She just looked so weak and so fragile like at any moment she break in half . I kept thinking over and over that maybe she'd already broken .

" your right about something , " i said only loud enough for us to hear " i am like my father , but i'm not him ."

With that i walked smoothly from the room .

How dare she sit up there and not only lie to me but call me stupid . What was getting into her ? It was like , something had corrupted her , taking away her happy spirit and replacing it with something so unpleasant and so unhappy .

She just , wasn't the same .

My family was changing day by day but , no matter how much they change i'll always love them .

I had to do something though .

Trinity kept popping into my mind . I needed to go see her .

I left Raven with Marcus and asked Alexis to give me a ride to Trinity's .

When we pulled up outside of her apartment building , i looked over to Alexis " don't worry about what my mother said ."

She smiled " i won't ."

" Friends ?" I asked her .

" yeah , friends ."

_____________________________________

-Trinity -

I wrapped a towel around my body . That shower had to be one of the hottest i'd ever taken . But i needed it . I felt so dirty before , even though it was all in my head . I had to convince myself that i was fine and that what Devon tried to do to me wasn't my fault . That , took a long time to do . But , after a while , i was back to normal .

I coated my whole body with Cocoa butter and rubbed it in . Then i put on a pair of pajama shorts and an over sized t-shirt .

I was about to collapse onto my bed but then i saw the carving of me and Devon's name over my bed , then i remembered the way Devon used to hold me in that very bed . I thought i was going to be sick to my stomach .

No , i couldn't sleep there .

I grabbed a blanket from the hallway closet and laid down on the couch , wrapping myself up .

Right when i was about to fall asleep , there was a knock on the front door .

I was thinking my mother was going to get it but then i remembered she'd left earlier in the day for a photo-shoot . Yes , my mother is a model .

I opened the door and was shocked to see Rodney .

" Rodney , it's 10 - "

He cut off my sentence with his lips crashing into mines . The kiss was so filled with passion and need i didn't know what to do . I'd never experienced anything like it . He backed me into the living room and we dropped onto the the couch with his body on top of mines . He kept the kiss going too . My mouth working with his was setting my body in motion .

Rodney ran his hand up and down the inside of my thighs , making sure to grope every section .

Without warning his tongue entered my mouth .

He was working my body expertly and we weren't even having sex . His tongue played along with mines , rubbing against mines . He was exploring my mouth causing me to moan out in pleasure .

I couldn't help but wonder what the hell i was doing ? I was ready ! I wanted to do it with him , there is nothing wrong with that .

He put his hand under my back and slide it down until it was down my shorts , with a firm grip on my butt .

Without moving his hand , he pulled back to study my face " Trinty . Babe . " he pecked my lips and whispered " i need you ."

-Trinity-

" i , um , Rodney . . . "

He cute me off , kissing me again , making my mind spin even more out of control .

" Trinity , baby , i want to show you how i can really make you feel . And not only that , but i need this . Just let me ."

I shook my head .

I mean , it's not like i didn't want it . Not only was my body screaming for him , but i just needed to be so much more closer to him . I knew that we wouldn't just be a one night stand , but it doesn't hurt to ask , right ?

" Rodney , before we do anything , i need to know . . . . what am i to you ?"

Rodney stared into my eyes and i could feel the way he felt instantly . Love was pouring from him to me .

" babe , " he brushed the back of his hand across my cheek " Trinity , i love you . I might not be the best boyfriend , but i promise you that you're my one and only . I need us to work . I wouldn't have us any other way . So , can i show you how passionate i am about you ?"

Without waisting another moment , i shook my head yes , and he went to work .

-Trinity-

I woke up the next morning beyond sore . Although Rodney took his time with me , he still couldn't take away the pain that i was now feeling .

It was beginning to feel like i had been split in half the night before when in reality it was so romantic and so beautiful . Rodney was more than i could have asked him to be . He stopped almost every five seconds to ask if i was okay . What guy do you know that would do that ?!

I was laying in Rodney's arms on the living room floor , wrapped in covers , naked .

I felt myself heat up . Yes , we had sex but that doesn't mean i wanted him to see me naked ! God .

I remember i used to say no sex till marriage , where did that go ? Shit , sex felt too good to not keep doing it . I was hoping that it wouldn't always hurt so bad the morning after .

Rodney wrapped his arms tighter around me and pulled my body closer to him in his sleep . I looked up at his face . Gawd !

He is so cute when he's sleeping . He looks so angelic , something i bet that will never change . He's got a baby face , i think . His features sit just right on his face . Perfect .

" what the hell is this ?" I heard my mother say .

Wait , my mother . . . .

I didn't even know she was home , nor did i hear the front door open .

I tried to sit still hoping maybe she'd think i was sleep and just go away . I didn't want to have to explain anything to her . She's my mother and i tell her a lot about me and all but , she'd lose it if i told her i'd just had sex . But i guess with what she was seeing it was obvious what i had done .

" i'll ask again , " i heard a big thump and my mother screamed " what the HELL is this ?!"

Rodney jumped pulling away from me . He rubbed sleep from his eyes and looked at me " what's with all the yelling , babe . Go back to sleep ."

" um , " i mumbled ." that wasn't me ."

He looked at me sideways and then sat up to see my mother " M , it's not what it looks like ."

" It's not what it looks like ?! Well let me tell you what it looks like : it looks like you been fucking my daughter in my house , it looks like you both are butt ass naked , it fucking looks like you're about to lie to me . I don't like being lied to , Rodney . I don't . Now , speak ."

I sat up next to him , making sure to cover my body with the sheet that Rodney was covering himself with as well .

" mom , "

" no , i want to hear this lil boy right here talk . He came into my house , seduced my daughter when i wasn't even here and now he has the nerve to fucking be quiet . Now , Rodney , speak ."

Rodney sighed and ran the palm of his hand down his face " i was , we were just . . . . aight , we had sex . I mean , she's my girlfriend , i mean , i love her and , i don't know . What happened , happened ."

" is that all you have to say for yourself ?"

" yeah . I love your daughter , and there's nothing wrong with sex ."

" You know what ?" my mother looked around the room and threw all of Rodney clothes in his face " get the fuck out of my house ! When i come back i want you gone ."

My mother exited the room and a few seconds later i heard the front door slammed shut .

I looked at Rodney " if you go , i go ."

" nah , " he stood up and began dressing and i followed his lead " you staying . That's your mother . And she's just pissed off right now . I don't blame her . You're her daughter babe , you stay , i go ."

" i'm going , and there is nothing you can do about it ."

I ran to my room and put on a pair of jeans , by the time i made it back to the front door Rodney was slipping on his jacket . I did the same .

" Trinity , just listen to me for once , listen to me . . . go back to your room , babe . I'll see you at school tomorrow , don't go today . Just take the time to chill and figure shit out , okay ? I love you , whether you feel the same or not . . . . i love you ."

The door closed in my face .

I love you too , i thought . But i couldn't say the words aloud .

_____________________________

-Rodney-

Days passed .

More than one .

More than two .

More than three .

It was about a week . I didn't go to school , didn't answer any calls that came through on my cellphone .

The apartment was always empty for some reason . I don't know why . My mother , nor father , Marcus , nor Raven either , were ever there . I didn't care though . I needed that time to myself to think and reflect on shit . Trinity was it for me , really it for me , and though i kissed Alexis that night at the hospital , that wasn't anything . The sex with Trinity was beyod amazing too , i guess it was because i really loved her .

I wasn't tripping , though i did feel bad for not speaking to Trinity at all , i knew that when i popped up that she'd be there for me and we'd carry on like nothing ever happened .

Hopefully .

___________________________

-Trinity-

" Happy birthday !" Tammy screamed as i walked through the school doors once again .

It was my 19th birthday and i should have been happy but , everything was so dull .

I mean , it felt like Rodney was ignoring me like i was a leech that would just attach on to him and suck all the blood from him . Now that hurt . And not only that but i had to go to school everyday and be face to face with Devon who sometimes gave me a sad look but other times he'd just tauntingly smirk at me . He was confused , i still hadn't forgotten what he'd done .

It was annoying though .

And then Ivory still hadn't spoken to me . If you ask me , i though the girl was tripping ! She was supposed to be my best friend and all but she was acting like i was her worst fucking enemy for no reason . I did nothing wrong to her . I couldn't figure it out .

My mother was acting weird too , giving me looks like i was a hoe or something .

Despite all that though , i had set my mind on having a good birthday , no matter what .-Trinity-

I stood in front of the class with my essay in front of my face . I was , nervous , i felt like everyone was looking at me , well , they were !

I sighed in frustration , i'm the worst public speaker , ever !

" what am i , or better yet , who am i . " i began to read " my name is Trinity . I'm just a simple girl but so more complex . Only a few know me , but i know for a fact that everyone judges me . I'm not conceited , nor am i a copy of any one . I'm - i'm , " my words were caught in my throat . The classroom door opened slowly and Rodney walked in looking like he hadn't slept in days , like he could barely stand up on his own tow feet , but some how , he managed a smile " i'm in love . . . . " i said .

I sped through the rest of the essay .

It was supposed to be heartfelt and it was , that's why i didn't want to read it in front of the class ! I felt like i would cry if i really took the time to even read it .

I was just , eager . And i don't know why . I'd wanted to see Rodney so bad but i felt a sudden flash of anger as i sat down in my chair that was in front of him .

He hadn't called me or came to see me in over a week and he just shows up on my birthday looking like shit .

" happy birthday baby girl , " he whispered in my ear and kissed the side of my neck .

I felt tingles run throughout my body but i tried to ignore it . My anger was slowly melting away though and i couldn't help it .

-Rodney-

I was still asking myself over and over why i went to school .

My brain was thumping beyond belief , my body was starved and shit , i was just worried . But i had to see Trinity no matter what . Escpecially on her birthday . I felt wrong not seeing or talking to her in a week . It felt like my head would explode at any minute .

" baby , " i kissed her neck again " we need to talk ."

" about what Rodney ?!" She snapped " what could we possibly have to talk about ."

" us . I love you . I know we haven't talked and , i'm sorry about that . I just needed time to myself to think . And i thought about- "

" thought about what ?! How you don't want to be with me ?"
" no , i thought about - "

" how i'm not worth the trouble ?"
I slammed my fist on the desk " no , Trinity ! Listen to me ! I thought about . . . about you moving in with me . OKAY ? I know it's stupid and i know you don't love me but i thought that . . . . i don't know . I just figured . . . it was a dumb idea . Forget i said anything ." I stood up " i've got to go . I'll see you when i see you ."

-Rodney-

I felt Trinity grab ahold of my hand as i brushed past her desk . I stopped in my tracks . I know that i shouldn't have asked her to move in but , shit was pretty lonely . I wasn't trying to force anything on her , i just . . . . should have kept my mouth shut .

" Rodney , " she whispered " don't go , please ."

It took everything i had to snatch my hand from her's . I think it hurt me more that it might've hurt her . But , i was just being stupid .

I didn't have it in me to hear her say no .

I'd rather walk away from her than face that kind of embarrassment .

" i've gotta go . " i mumbled and sped from the class room .

What was wrong with me ? I don't know .

I just felt like i was breaking in half and nobody could do anything to repair it . Shit was just all wrong . How did things get so wrong ? Can somebody please answer that question for me ?!

I kicked up rocks outside of a corner store and continued on my way . I didn't think shit would have ever gotten that bad . But shit happens right ? I began to think that maybe it was my fault , maybe i did something , maybe i talked bad to the wrong person or fucked one too many girls .Yeah , that was it . I began to blame myself thinking it was all my fault . And maybe it was .

" yeah nigga , now what !"

My arm was snatch to the right and i was being dragged down a alley . Several dark figures were looming over me , hitting me constantly until i smashed into a brick wall .

A part of me was screaming for me to fight back , but another part of me had given up , and all i wanted them to do was give me the ass whooping that i'd probably earned .

" bitch , " one of the guys kicked me in my face sending my head flying backward into the brick wall . I could feel something cracking : It was something inside of me . Not only something in my head , but my nose as well . Blood splurted from my nose , running down my face , soaking into parts of my shirt .

But i didn't care .

" you fucked with my little brother , huh ?" Another one of the figures screamed in my face . That outburst was followed by a punched to the stomach causing me to lean forward which only got my head kicked back again .

Punches were followed by kicks , kicks were followed by smacks , and when i lay sprawled on the cold alley floor i was stomped until i lay in a pool of my own blood .

___________________________________

-Trinity-

My birthday was ruined . I felt so bad .

All i wanted to do was be close to Rodney and he ran out right when i was about to say . . . yes .

Of course i was going to say yes ! If you thought i was going to say no then you're an idiot . I mean , i was 19 , about to graduate highschool , and pretty damn sure i loved Rodney . I had no reason to say no . I just , wish he would have stayed .

I never wanted to be away from him again .

Hours dragged on and passed like days . I smiled at all the birthday congragulations that people gave me and all the gifts i got but in reality i was only thinking about Rodney . All the smile were beyond fake but nobody knew that .

Even Ivory gave me a birthday present though . She didn't say anything , just handed me a brand newHTC . That brightened my day slightly . I hadn't got around to buying a new phone . I'd left mines in the locker room that night Devon had tried to attack me and i never went back to get it . In fact after that day i quit cheer leading so i wouldn't have a reason to go back to that locker room , i even skipped gym which we had twice a fucking week .

" what's wrong with you girl ?" Tammy asked as we sat at the lunch table .

I picked through my salad , moving it around on the plate " i'm just not hungry ."

"Yeah right , " she mumbled " i know that look . If this is about that Rodney boy then just let it go , " she sighed " he wasn't good for you anyways ."

I dropped my fork and stared outside from the windows in the cafeteria . It had started to rain .

-Rodney-

My eyes flew open as air flooded into my lungs . The light was too bright for my eyes but i refused to close them back . I'd just fight through the stinging in my eyes .

While my eyes were closed i'd thought the worst things and had the worst dreams . The dreams were more like shit that i wouldn't want to happen in my worst fucking nightmare . Closing my eyes only meant that i would have to go back to that , and i didn't want to .

I had a dream that i was in the woods all alone , snow was surrounding me from everyway and was damn near up to my hips but i was still moving through it . I had a flashlight in my hand searching but i'll be damned if i knew what the hell i was looking for . I kept moving , pulling my legs that fellt like thousand pound weights tied to my body . Then a hawk swept down and began to pick at my head , then another one came , and maybe 10 more after that . I ducked , i doged , i swang , but no matter what i did they kept coming back , just picking pieces from my head and torturing me slowly . And there was no way i could move fast enough to get away . I was just stuck , but i understood the dream though .

The snow was simbalizing how i felt . I felt trapped and like i couldn't get anywhere or move forward . That's how i felt .

Then the hawks picking at my head were all my problems and all my negative thoughts that were picking away at me constantly and beging me to give up .

Shit , i didn't wanna go back to that place where i felt like i had no say so in what would happen in my life . I was in control and i had to start acting like it . Just like anyone , i deserved the right to be happy and that's what i needed .

Laying in the alleyway , bleeding to death , i felt like that was where i was supposed to be but if i was still alive . . . then i must have been supposed to live and not only be alive .

The door swung open , up until then i hadn't realized i was in a room . . . or a hospital room at that .

" goodmorning , Rodney , how do you feel ?" I was asked by a man in a white coat . He looked like he hadn't slept in weeks and didn't really give a damn about how i felt , but he asked because if he didn't then his job would be some one elses .

" i'm fine ."

Just those two words sent my throat into a rage . It felt like i was trying to swallow butcher's knives and trust me , it was not a pleasant feeling .

The doctor noticed the pained expression on my face " oh , yeah , i meant to tell you not to talk . Sorry . The medicine we're giving you for the pai is pretty much sucking the moisture from your body so we're keeping an iv dripping water but . . . some placea the water won't reach ."

" thanks alot for telling me ."

" yeah , anyway , everything looks fine in here . You should be okay to leave in a few days . "

I shook my head and he turned to leave .

" hey doc , " he turned back to be " who found me ?"

" a guy , he said he'd rather be left nameless . "

I said okay and he left . I had worked my throat as much as i could , damn , that medicine was fucking with me .

But that was weird though . Who saves someone from near death and doesn't even want to be mentioned or thanked ?

Oh well , the only thing on my mind was getting better so i could . . . . see Trinity .


I woke up 2 days later feeling like brand new . Well , not exactly brand new .

The medicine still had me slightly drowsey even though they'd taken the iv's out of me sometime during the night . Whatever they'd given me was some strong shit .

Anyway , the doctor gave me the okay to leave , i'd filled out all the paper work and what not . And after taking a shower and doing the essential , i dressed . They'd given me a pair of hospital pants and a white shirt so i wouldn't have to leave with the blood stained clothes that i came in on . I was grateful for that .

I took the city bus to the school , i was sure Trinity would be there .

__________________________________________________

-Trinity-

I thought i saw him through the morning crowd outside the school but i was sure i was just tripping because why would he just all of a sudden pop up after a few days .

I rushed into the school , avoiding everyone who tried to hug me or say hi . My mood had reached an all time low . I mean , i was still happy but i just wanted Rodney , that was it . I needed to know that he was okay and that he would always be there for me , or whatever . More than anything i had to know that he was okay .

My first few classes came and went , they weren't anything special . Forth bell i had gym and once again on my way to the gymnasim i was sure i'd seen him . But i shook the thought out of my head and just said that my mind was playing tricks on me .

I wanted to see him so bad that my mind had just . . . i don't know . I kept telling myself that i was fucking crazy to keep seeing him .

____________________________________________________

-Devon-

I felt like a piece of shit . First i'd hurt Trinity , well , i tried to and that'd made me feel just horrible . I loved Trinity , all i wanted was for her to be happy and i realized she couldn't be happy with me and that hurt the most .

Shit , and then i hurt the man she loved .

Saying she loved him killed me a little more inside each tiem but what could i really do . That was who she wanted .

Rodney .

Stomping his face in while he lay in a pull of his own blood was helpful at the time , but the that night i got home and i felt the guilt eating away at my soul . I didn't want to kill anybody i just wanted to make a point . But i'd gone too damn far . I didn't let him die , i couldn't .

I'd went back to him and called 911 and waited for an ambulance . That was all i could do at the time .

I changed into my gym clothes and walked to the middle of the basketball court with the rest of the class .

I watched Trinity as she stood at the far end of the basketball court by herself dribbling a ball . She looked so sad , and i felt like i was the cause of it , i just wanted to be happy , that's all i'd wanted , even if it meant that in the end i wouldn't be .

___________________________________________________

-Rodney-

" i love you , " i said loud enough for Trinity to hear " i'm not perfect , i don't think i am . I might not even deserve you . Hell , you probably don't even want me anymore but . . . i can't let you go without at least trying . I need you in my life , whether we're just friends or more . " she turned to me " i know that - "

She wrapped her arms around my neck pulling my body to hers and just resting her head in my chest .

I missed that .

" looks like you got hurt , " she spoke " but if you ever leave me worrying again . . . then i'll hurt you myself . Got it ?"

I smiled and rested my chin on her head " got it ."

-Rodney-

" so babe , " i said as i slung my arm around Trinity's shoulder and we continued down the hall " you forgive me , right ?"

" actually , " she laughed and shrugged my arm off " you still have some making up to do ."

" what ? I thought you forgave me though ."

" nope . "

" well , how about you come over tonight and i make it up ." i mumbled so only she could hear .

" no , and by the way you look it doesn't evn seem like you'll be able to move that good . But anyway me and Tammy are going to the movies ."

" well , what if i come along ?"

" nope , it's just a girl thing ."

" well damn , " I kissed her ear " when am i going to get some alone time with you ?"

" when you stop doing that , now i've got to get to class , bye ."She walked away , smiling from ear to ear .

I watched as she dissapeared into the crowded hallways and vowed to do whatever it took to win her back because i couldn't imagine my life without her .

____________________________

-Trinity-

You know how you just know that one specific boy is the one ?

Have you ever felt like that ?

Where you know he'll never leave you and you know he's all you really have in the end ? You know that he'll climb to the top of Mount Everest for you if you ask , and you know that 99.99% of the time time your on his mind .

Have you ever met that one boy that you can't leave alone no matter how hard you try , a boy where even his flaws are sexy , and even his attitude is a turn on ?

Well , that's how i feel about Rodney , and by the way he looks at me i can tell that that's how he feels too .-Rodney-

I stared at my mother blankly , not knowing exactly what to say .

To come home and see people that i hadn't seen in a week was , confusing to me . Who up and leaves their child without a word about it ?

And the shit my mother had said to me , stuck in my mind like she'd just said it the day before .

" Rodney , son , i'm . . . " she spoke in a sad tone " i'm sorry . I never meant to make you feel unwanted or , unloved , or whatever . You have to understand -"

I sighed , " i don't have to understand shit ."

My father cut in " don't talk to your mother like that -"

" who are you to speak to me about how i should and shouldn't talk to her ? You're the one who choked her until she was damn near dead and now you want to speak to me on basically respecting her ? No , " i stood up " fuck that ! I'll do what i want . "

I stormed from the living room into my bed room and slammed the door behind me . I plopped down on my bed next to Raven's sleeping body . I missed Raven like crazy , she was the only person to keep me fucking sane in this house .

I pulled my phone from my pocket and decided to call Trinity , my beautiful , beautiful , girlfriend .

" hello ?" she answered .

" wassupp , what you doing ?"

" nothing , getting ready to go to the movies ."

I shook my head as if she could see " okay ."

After a pause she asked " babe , do you love me ?"

" always ."

" what if we break up ?"

" that won't stop me from loving you ."

I could hear the smile in her voice when she asked "who's number one in your life ?"

" you are , and always will be ."

" good , because i was thinking and . . . . i want to move in with you ."

I smiled and jumped up in excitement " word ? Well , i'm glad you feel that way , but how about we wait until i get my own place . Mom and dad just came back home ."

" really ? How is that going ?"

" as good as i would expect ."

She laughed " don't worry it'll get better , everything will . And in no time you'll be on cloud nine ."

" hopefully you're right . "

" i am ."

I sighed " can i ask you a question ?"

" anything ."

" do you - do you love me back ?"

There was another pause , this one longer than the other , it worried me more than anything . I just wanted to her her either say yes or no , and i'd prefer if she'd say yes .

" I've always loved you , Rodney . Don't ever question that . "


-Rodney-

Dear mama ,

I love you , and i respect any decisions you make . If you want to stay with daddy that's cool , if you want to keep letting him beat on you then that's cool too . Like you always say , you'r grown .

You said some hurtful things to me back at the hospital , but , whatever . By the way , i'm not like my father , i'm like you . I just want us to get back to how we were . I'm your loving son and nothing is going to change that . I hope we can put any bad feelings in the past and work on the right now . Anyways . . . that's all .

Much love .

Your son ,

Rodney .

P.s. I Might've found the one .

Impressum

Tag der Veröffentlichung: 03.10.2011

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