Tamika is in the cafeteria with her best friend, Ja’Mya. Out of the corner of her eye she spots Antoine with his friends.
“If you like him so much why don’t you just tell him? He might feel the same way,” Ja’Mya says trying to encourage her friend.
“But I don’t want to ruin our friendship. Anyway, why would he like me when he has the head cheerleader, Kammie?”
Kammie is the girl every boy wants and every girl wishes they could look like. She gets whatever or whoever she wants with the snap of he fingers. When Antoine became the starting quarter-back, he became Kammie’s next victim. Everyone except Antoine knows that she is cheating on him for his best friend Joseph.
Tamika realized that Ja’Mya was right and decided to take her advice. She quickly changed her mind when she saw Kammie go over there by Antoine and how happy he was.
“Maybe we were meant to just be friends. Maybe its better off that way,” Tamika thought.
When Tamika made it home, she wrote in her diary.
10/1/08
Dear Diary,
Why me? I know Antoine and I have been friends for almost 18 years. It’s like the longer I know him the more I love him. But why would he even like me. He thinks he has the perfect girl, but he doesn’t know the truth. I could make him happy, right? I mean I know more about him then anybody else.
Sometimes I feel as if my love for him is interfering with our friendship, but not for long. After the football game tomorrow he’s driving me home. Then I will tell him everything. How would I know I know if he feels the same unless I tell him? So that’s that. On October 3, 2008, I and Antoine will be more than friends. I have fate in that. Just wait.
♥ Tamika


The next day, Tamika was too excited to focus at school. When she saw Ja’Mya at lunch, she told her everything she planned to do. When she was done, Ja’Mya just stood there with a big smile on her face. Then she finally said, “You bet not punk out either ‘cause you know you good for it.”
“I’m not. I’m serious. I’m really gonna do it,” Tamika said trying to convince her friend.
“We’ll okay. As long as you’re happy, I’m happy. I got to get to class. I’ll see you at the game,” Ja’Mya said, walking off.
At the game that night, Tamika was so excited about what she was getting ready to do. While she was walking with Ja’Mya, they heard Kammie’s sister, Carmen, talking to one of her friends.
“You know my sister, Kammie, is six weeks pregnant,” Carmen said.
“I didn’t know that he and Antoine have been together that long,” her friend replied.
“They haven’t. It’s not for Antoine, it’s for Joseph.”
“Ain’t they best friends?”
“Yeah. Kammie say she’s gonna do it with Antoine, wait a few weeks, then tell him that he got her pregnant.”
“So, if she tells Antoine that he’s the daddy, will she tell Joseph?”
“She already has. They both agreed to her plan.”
At that point, both Tamika and Ja’Mya stormed off mad. They sat down talking about ways that they can get Kammie and Joseph back for trying to play Antoine. When they finally calmed down, the game was almost over and Tamika began to get nervous.
“Are you gonna tell him about Kammie’s baby?” Ja’Mya asked getting mad just thinking about.
“I have to. I can’t let them play him like that. It could mess up all his dreams,” Tamika said trying to sound confident.
With five seconds left on the clock they got ready to leave. Tamika was so nervous she could hardly walk. Then she heard, “Antoine Jackson makes the winning touchdown foe the Bears.” With that said, it gave her the strength to go through with her plans.
“If he can do it, so can I” she repeated over and over again in her mind. She told Ja’Mya that she would call her when she gets home and then got into Antoine’s car. She saw Kammie hug Antoine bye and went to talk to Joseph. She became furious wondering why Antoine hasn’t realized that they are playing him. When she saw the smile on his face as he got in, she quickly calmed down.
After a few moments of silence, Tamika finally worked up the nerve to tell him. She took a deep breath and started.
“Antoine, I have something very important to tell you. Please don’t say nothing till I’m done ‘cause if u do I might not start back. First of all, I know we have been friends since birth and I was fine with that at first. Sometime last year, I realized that I wanted to be more than just friends. I was too scared to tell you because I didn’t want to ruin our friendship.
“Now I see you with Kammie and …… and I know you can do better. Everybody in the school knows that she’s playing you. She’s cheating on you for Joseph. Either you’re to naïve to know it or you just don’t want to accept it. Joseph even got her pregnant and they were going to say that you’re the daddy and ruin your life.
“I don’t expect you to just sweep me off my feet and marry me, but I really just had to tell you how I really fell. If you don’t feel the same, I understand, but I hope this doesn’t hurt our friendship. And I ......” Tamika said getting cut off by a kiss from Antoine.
“You really do talk too much,” Antoine said after kissing her.
“I always have loved you, but didn’t know if you felt the same way. As for Kammie and Joseph, they deserve each other. I knew she was cheating on me, but I didn’t want to admit it ‘cause it helped keep my mind off of you.”
The rest off the way home, they kept staring at each other and smiling at each other. When she made it home, he kissed her good-night and walked her to the door. As soon as she was in her room, she called and told Ja’Mya everything and wrote in her diary.
10/3/08
Dear Diary,
I did it! I told Antoine how I felt and about Kammie. He said he always have loved me. You don’t know how happy I felt. Wow! I never knew I could be this happy.
♥ Tamika


“Kammie, it’s over,” Antoine strongly said.
“But, baby why? I love you, don’t leave me.”
“You ain’t mean that so stop with all of these lies. I know that you’re cheating on me with Joseph, who is my best friend. And you’re pregnant for him. Get out of my face and don’t speak to me again.”
Kammie stood in the middle of the crowd with fake tears thinking that that would bring him back. She was the last thing on his mind and everybody knew it. Antoine just walked up to Tamika and hugged her.
Tamika’s life was finally going perfect until after school the next day. Since Kammie was pregnant, she didn’t stay over for cheerleading practice.
“Hey, Tamika, slow down,” Kammie said jogging after her.
“What do you want Kammie?”
“I just wanted to warn you that the only reason Antoine is giving you the time of day is to win a bet. He doesn’t really love you, and he didn’t really break up with me. The other day, Joseph bet him $50 that he couldn’t get you in bed. I know that I’m just as bad as them, but I’m trying to stop it now.”
Just so happen, as they were talking, Antoine was coming toward them. When Kammie saw him, she ran to him and gave him a hug and a passionate kiss. No boy can resist Kammie, and Antoine is no exception. When he finally came back to his senses, he saw Tamika running away crying.
When Tamika finally made it home, she wrote in her diary,
10/7/08
Dear Diary,
I don’t even know why I tried. I just ended up playing myself. Here I am thinking he really like me, but everything was just to win a bet. I never would’ve thought that he would do that to me. Why should I believe Kammie anyway? But, Antoine really did enjoy the kiss she gave him.
I hate both of them; Kammie for playing Antoine and Antoine for playing me. Guess who just showed up on my balcony. Antoine. What does that boy want now? I know, to cut my heart out and give it to Kammie as a gift.
♥ Tamika
“Tamika, please let me in,” Antoine begged.
“Sorry, but I don’t associate myself with liars so leave me alone before I call the police on you.”
“I’m sorry okay. I’m so sorry. I don’t know why that girl kissed me. Please forgive me. I love you. I always have and always will.”
“Just tell the truth Antoine. There’s no need to lie anymore.”
“Tamika, please forgive me. I don’t even know what I did to make you think that I’m lying.”
“You know exactly what you did. It’s too late to apologize so please leave me alone.”
Antoine left just to make her happy. When he got back in his car, he called Kammie.”
“I knew you still wanted me,” Kammie said when she answered.
“Girl, what did you tell Tamika?”
“This girl has a name so use it next time. And I just told her the truth, at least my version of it. “
“What’s your version of the truth then?”
“That the only reason you hooked up with her was to win a bet with Joseph. He bet you $50 that you couldn’t sleep with her. And that when you broke up with me yesterday, that was just an act. That kiss you gave me just topped it off.”
“Girl, you’re so damn stupid. You couldn’t stand to see me happy with someone that wasn’t you, so you just had to ruin it.”
“Yeah, and I’ll do it again too.”
After she said that, he hung up in her face. He then wrote a letter to Tamika to explain everything since he knew she wouldn’t listen to anything he said.

Tamika,
I’m so sorry for everything. I never meant for you to get hurt by my drama. The stuff Kammie told you is all a lie. I would never do anything like that to you, and you know it. But I’m not mad at you for believing her. I could never get mad at you. Remember when we were seven and I was growing my hair out to get braids. I really wanted those braids and the day I was suppose to get them done you poured permanent paint all over my head. So instead I had to get all my hair cut off and had purple hair for over a month. You even laughed at me the entire time they were cutting it because I was crying. I got mad at everyone but you because deep down I knew I didn’t want to hurt your feelings. The whole point of this letter is to ask you to find it in your heart to forgive me and take me back. I didn’t do anything and I hope that you believe me.
Love,
Antoine

Antoine planned to give Tamika the letter as soon as he made it to school in the morning.


October 8, 2008 was the tragic day no one will ever forget. Antoine woke up early, ready to apologize to Tamika for hopefully the last time. As soon as he woke up, he read the letter again. He was certain that she would forgive him and everything would be alright.
Tamika had other plans for the day. While Antoine was confident and happy about the chance of getting her back, she was writing him a letter.

Antoine,
Happy 18th birthday!! Since this is the last time you will ever hear from me, I will tell you everything that’s been on my mind lately.
To start off, what I’m going to do is not your fault, so don’t feel guilty. I love you more than I love myself sometimes. When I found out you played me like that, it really hurt me. To find out that the only reason you hooked up with me was for a bet. I thought I knew you better than that, but I guess not.
You’re lower than low. And to say I felt sorry for you for what Kammie and Joseph did to you, but you don’t deserve my pity. But I can’t stay mad at you. I forgive you, and I hope you forgive me. By the time you finish this letter, I will be gone. Don’t try to find me ‘cause it’s too late. Just tell my family that I love them and bye.
Love always and forever,
Tamika

After Tamika finished writing, she left home and went to school early. As soon as she made it, she went to Antoine’s locker. She kissed the letter, wishing it was Antoine, and taped it to the front of his locker. She walked down the quiet halls reminiscing over her life. She walked to her favorite room in the school, the music room. She sat at the piano and began playing “Yesterday” by Mary Mary and praying that God will forgive her.
While this was happening, Antoine was on his way to school to see Tamika. When he made it, it was 7:55 am. He went to his locker to put up his books and he found the letter. He read the letter and quickly realized what she planned to do. Antoine began thinking about where she could be. Then he called an ambulance in case he was too late.
7:58 am. Tamika sat at the piano with the knife in her hand staring at the clock. “At 8:00 am it would all be over,” she thought. Antoine figured out that she was in the music room, and rushed to save her.
Tick-tock, tick-tock. One minute left before the tragic end. Faster and faster Antoine ran, but unfortunately it was worthless. The clock in the music room was two minutes fast. He knew this but prayed that Tamika would change her mind. He ran faster with tearing running down his face. He knew it was too late. He felt the pain of losing her pulsate throughout his body like his heartbeat. But he couldn’t stop running because there was still a small chance that she was still alive waiting for him to take her into his arms and make everything right again.
Tamika put the knife to her wrist and said one last prayer as she began to bleed to death. The white and black keys quickly turned red and black as her blood covered the piano. She began to become unconscious as she heard the sound of the ambulance. The door began to open and she heard somebody yell her name, but they were too late. In her mind she said, “Time of death 8:01 am. Lord, please forgive me for my horrible sin.” That was the end of Tamika Renee’ Anderson.


“1, 2, 3, clear! Again. 1, 2, 3, clear! She’s back.”
“Welcome back, baby. You really scared me,” Tamika heard somebody say as they kissed her forehead. She slowly opened her eyes even though she was still confused about what was happening. The first and only thing that she saw was Antoine surround by a beautiful, bright light as if he was an angel. He was holding her hand and said, “It’s never too late.”
Tamika then realized she was in Heaven. Her own personal Heaven on Earth. The things that she was trying to run away from were the things that she needed the most. This was where she needed to be, and who she needed to be with.

Impressum

Tag der Veröffentlichung: 07.03.2012

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