To the owner of the Porsche:
I am sorry for the inconvenience I have caused you today. This morning at around 1.30am I was passing your car after having been out to dinner with my wife, (who was heavily pregnant at the time) when she felt the first pains of labor. I am an ex-criminal and stealing cars was my choice of profession when I was younger, a mistake I have paid for with five years of my life behind bars. I panicked and took the only choice I had available to me at that hour in the morning, which was to take the car that we were standing next to and drive my wife to the hospital. Unfortunately, this happened to be your car. At 8.45 this morning my wife gave birth to our son and both Mother and child are doing fine. I am returning your car now with my profound apologies. I have filled the car up with a full tank of premium gas and have had the car valeted. Please accept also two tickets to the West End show ‘Les Miserables’ as a small token of my thanks. I will not be leaving my name, as I am a known criminal and do not want my actions to take me away from my new family, as this most certainly would do.
Thank you again.
A Friend
This was not the normal place that Simon would find himself when meeting a client for lunch, but he had to admit that the homespun charm and the waiting staffs need to make your stay here as pleasant as possible was very refreshing. To be honest he didn’t know that places like this still existed. The Club, for its real name, had long been forgotten, had a team of waiters that would sneer at any attempt of suggesting that you knew better than them when it came to the wine selection, and anything other than the chefs special was deemed as pig swill in comparison. Here though the attitude was one of ‘We aim to please.’ There was a little light country music playing in the background. The stock standard variety that would inevitably involve prisons, mothers, trucks, farms, and trains. There would be the hint of death somewhere in the lyrics, a dog maybe, and would end up with some moral undertone to its core. The wall had art by local enthusiast who, whilst not totally without talent should be advised not to give up their day job. Where there was not art, there were plants that had spent their lives creeping up the wall and latching onto any surface that would further help in their cause when attempting to take over the room. Their leaves suggested that they were taken care of by someone who knew what they were talking about when it came to the care of houseplants, and their arrogance was such that they seemed to disregard all other non-plant life in their dominance of the surrounding area. Simons mind became unfocused by the melancholy atmosphere that this small, but charming reassurance exuded as he let his eyes settle, unfixed as they followed the waitresses around from one table to another. Some would take fresh orders whilst others would refill coffee cups and would engage their new friends with the occasional comment on the weather, family and general topics of the day. It was all very pleasant, to the point that Simon forgot about the tardiness of his client. His eyes settled on one particular waitress. A large Jamaican woman whose accent lilted across the room, giving her origins away with its soft pleasing tone. The uniform she wore had seen better days and had passed, along with her through the years with changes to its shape and its ability to do its job well. Her name badge told the world that her name was Ruby and she would be happy to serve you. Ruby, undoubtedly had started here with a little less girth than she now carried, for the buttons around her bosom strained to keep her modesty in check. Through the gaps, Simon could see that Ruby sported a red lace bra and he smiled to himself at some hidden sauciness that lay beneath this image of professional attentiveness, and to service of another nature. From somewhere deep within what Simon like to call a soul, he chastised himself for his perverse voyeurism, but this soon was overruled by the latent schoolboy that hides within so many of his fellow men.
Apart from Ruby’s underwear, Simon had noticed the lady that she was now serving.
Ruby stopped at her table. She placed the coffee pot down and proceeded to exact a series of complicated hand movements to her customer. The lady then smiled and reciprocated with hand gestures of her own. This went on for a minute or so before Ruby laughed out loud at some secret joke they shared between them before refilling the lady’s cup once more. After placing the flat of her hand against her customer’s face, Ruby moved on around the room offering refills to the rest of her guests before stopping at Simon’s table.
“A new face.” She said with a beaming smile. “Welcome, sir. My name is Ruby. Would you like some more coffee? Or something to eat perhaps?”
Ruby leaned in closer and bent at the hip affording Simon of an unwanted view of her ample cleavage. She lowered her voice conspirituality. “I would recommend the apple and peach pie, my love.” She said. “I made it myself.” She straightened herself and added. “My husband used to swear by it – Before he died of course.”
She laughed at the shocked look that came over Simon’s face.
“Don’t worry my friend.” She said out loud. “He died by his own hand.”
“I – I’m sorry to hear that.” Stammered Simon still shocked at the nature of this conversation and fascinated by the ease at which she would depart such intimate details of her life with a total stranger. Looking around him Simon could see that the other patrons were enjoying some shared joke at his expense.
“It’s always sad when someone takes their own life.” He added hesitantly.
“It is okay my love. The hand what killed him was found up the skirts of another woman. To be honest.” She added, almost wistfully. “It was probably being buried under all that concrete that killed him. Still.” She continued brightly. “I got a lovely new patio out of it.”
“Hush now Ruby.” Came a deep voice from behind her, the owner of which held out his hand for Simon to shake. “Pay no attention to my wife sir.” He said. His own accent matching Ruby’s. “My name is Claude and as you can see, I am very much alive.”
Simon took Claude’s hand apprehensively.
“You must forgive her wicked sense of humour.” Smiled Claude.
“There is nothing to forgive.” Said Simon with relief. “The club I usually frequent could learn a thing or two about customer service and engagement from your good lady wife.”
“Well thank you, sir.” Said Ruby with her trademark smile. “I like this one, Claude. May I keep him?”
“Just take the gentleman’s order and stop teasing him.” Replied Claude. He turned to Simon and winked. “Enjoy your time with us, sir.” He said before returning to the kitchen.
Simon took another fill of coffee and ordered the apple and peach pie as recommended. When Ruby returned she placed a small pot of cream on the table as well as a cinnamon shaker. She waited until Simon took a mouthful of his pie as if waiting for confirmation as to her claims that it was ‘To die for’. Simon was genuinely impressed.
“This is fantastic Ruby.” He said with sincerity in his tone. Ruby’s face lit up with pride. “What’s your secret?” He asked.
“It would take the FBI and the CIA combined to extract that information from me.” She said with earnest. “Or you could just sleep with me.” She added with a sly wink.
“RUBY.” Came the stern voice from the kitchen. “Leave the man alone.”
“Oh well.” She said with a smile. “Looks like I will have to have another patio built. Enjoy.” She said before returning her attention to the other patrons. Simon shook his head at Ruby’s unorthodox approach to service and vowed that he would come here more often. Privilege and the stuffy life of a lawyer had denied him the pleasure of good home cooking, and genuinely friendly people that wanted nothing from him, other than to make him happy.
The client called shortly after Ruby had left him to enjoy his pie, saying that he would have to reschedule their meeting for a later date and so Simon decided to add a little more substance to his lunch and ordered the steak and ale pie. Ruby once again took his order and again teased him, only this time it was about getting his meal and dessert the wrong way around.
“I like a man who refuses to conform to stuffy routines and ideals.” She said “Keeps a girl on her toes. I shall return with your meal soon sir” She added as she refilled his coffee. There were even suggestive sexual undertones in the way she said the word ‘Sir’, as if something far more exotic was on the menu, but Simon reasoned that was just how she kept loyalty within her clientele. It was almost a cabaret act. Some perverse burlesque show that was designed to please and titillate your erotic fantasies, drawing your attention away from how much you were spending. He looked at the running total of the bill so far and shook that idea from his head. The prices were very reasonable and as he took a mouthful of his freshly delivered pie he mused that were grossly under-priced. During his lunch, the lady on the far table caught his eye once more as she silently gestured to Ruby for her bill. Again, Ruby reciprocated with hand movements of her own in reply to the lady’s unheard request – Unheard by Simon at least. He placed around her mid-fifties and when her greying hair, streaked with hints of red that betrayed a hue from her youth fell away from her face, Simon saw that her eyes were extraordinarily bright, almost as if they were back-lit by some inner light. For a brief moment, they settled on him causing Simon to look away sharply at this outing of his second inappropriate voyeurism of the day. Ruby also noticed this and with another complicated set of movements both she and the lady smiled at one another at something that would only be heard within their silent world. When the lady stood up to leave, she smiled at Simon briefly and he returned it with an apologetic half-smile of his own. From the many pictures that hung on the back wall, Simon watched the lady leave by way of the reflection from the glass covered frames. Her movements were slightly hesitant at first as if making sure she had everything with her, but when she was satisfied with this it was as if a flow of grace ran through her as she seemingly glided across the room and towards the door. The sway of her hips was echoed in the movement of her dress and the swell of her breasts, whilst her hair bounced in ribbons of curls that flowed down her back before stopping between her shoulder blades. Defined and strong calf muscles betrayed the years of wearing stiletto heels that clicked in rhythm to an inner song this captivating woman was creating. The very air around her seemed to part as she drifted through the world rather than be any part of it, closing behind her like an impenetrable door that could only be opened by the key of this fanciful imaginary paradise that Simon’s psyche was now creating.
“Beautiful isn’t she.” Said Ruby.
Simon was impressed at how silently a woman of Ruby’s size could move. One minute she was on one side of the room, the next she was standing right next to him. He jumped in his seat slightly at the shock of her intrusion into his adolescent fancies.
“She used to be a dancer in her youth.” She continued as she looked wistfully into some unseen past. “She could feel the vibrations of the music. That’s why she danced barefoot.” She added as if answering a question that had not been asked.
“That was sign language you were using earlier.” Said Simon, still watching as the lady left. It was a statement rather than a question, but Ruby answered it anyway.
“Yes. She has been coming here almost every day for over ten years now, shortly after we bought this place. In fact.” Ruby added, placing her hand on Simons' shoulder. “She was our very first customer.” Ruby smiled at the memory. “She only came in to use the bathroom and Harriet, our waitress at the time couldn’t understand what she wanted. Fortunately, if that’s the word, my mother was deaf and we were all raised within her silent world.” Ruby lost herself a little deeper at this sad recollection of her youth but snapped back to her usual exuberant self within the two beats of her heart. “So I was able to communicate with her in her own language.” She added with a wide smile.
“So, like the rest of us you made her feel comfortable,” Simon said with a smile of his own, having torn his gaze away from the retreating woman and up into the broad face of Ruby.
“Now who is flirting.” She said with a wink.
As she walked away, Simon turned in his seat in order to catch one last look at this woman who had captured his attention so completely, but unfortunately, she had disappeared from view as the fog of this chill winters day swallowed her up like some wraith of a long forgotten idea.
*****
Simon went home later that evening, having first swung by his office in order to instruct Louise, his personal secretary to
Verlag: BookRix GmbH & Co. KG
Texte: Dimpra Kaleem / Iain Camridge
Cover: Not known
Lektorat: Iain Cambridge
Tag der Veröffentlichung: 26.05.2019
ISBN: 978-3-7487-0570-3
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Widmung:
To Deb and Matthew.