Prolouge

"Will you hurry up Martha? Jeez! You're as slow as a snail!" that was the first thing I always heard when I first woke up. My older sister yelling at me. I knew the only reason she did it was to irritate me but I didn't care. It was still rude to scream at me from the bottom of the stairs. Not wanting to get into any more trouble then I was probably in, I jumped out of bed and hurriedly changed into my school uniform. I was just about to head out when I heard my sister scream again.
"Martha! We're going to be late. Now if you don't get down here I'm leaving without you!"
"I'm coming! Jeez Stacey! You got to give me a minute to get out of bed. Just because you can jump out of bed looking gorgeous doesen't mean that I do. I actually have to deal with my hair."
"Okay, what ever. Just get out to the car."
With that we headed out. I knew that since it was Monday I was going to have a miserable day at school. I always did. And that was for one reason, and one reason only. My friends weren't going to be there. They always ditched Mondays. I don't know why but it really irritated me.

Chapter One

I hurried into the school, and to my locker. There was the usual buzz as everyone talked about their weekend. I hadn't done anything out of the ordinary. Heck. The most exciting thing I had done was babysit. But at least I had thirty bucks to show for it. Not really watching where I was going I ran into some one. I looked up and saw one of the strangest boys in the school looking at me. I quickly mumbled, "Sorry." and walked away.
There was just one thing that made him so strange. His skin. It was really pale. Like paper pale. Almost as if he didn't get any sun.
'Don't worry about it.' I told myself. 'Just hurry up and get to class. You don't need another detention. Mom's all ready peeved at you because of that F on your history project.'
I hurridly put my things in my locker and almost ran to my home room. Sitting down right as the bell rang, my teacher gave me an annoyed look.
"Cutting it a bit close again. Aren't we Miss Kindler?"
"Hey, I made it. So there fore you can't mark me tardy. Now can you drop it? Blame my sister. She's the one responsible for getting me up."
"Okay. Well just remember. I'm watching you."
He always said that. It was one of the most annoying things about him. He was also kind of a creeper. Because he really did watch most of the people here. Almost as if he was just waiting for someone to do something bad. Suddenly the announcements interrupted my thoughts.
"Hello everybody. As you all know we are having an assembly today. Any ways other then that the lunch for today will be a salad, orange, milk, and a slice of pie. Thank you all. Now will you please stand for the Pledge of Allegiance?"
Everybody in my class stood and in unision said the pledge. After that we went to our first hour class. Fortunately I wasn't late for that. Our math teacher was a huge witch. I pretty much spaced out while she lectured about square roots and angles. Out of the corner of my eye I saw the door open. I looked up to see the boy from earlier standing there.
"Hello Damian. What do you need?" our teacher asked somewhat pleasantly.
"They switched my schedule and so now I'm stuck in here. Do you have a place for me to sit?"
"Umm... Oh yes! Right over there by Miss Kindler."
I knew she was going to put him there. It was the only open seat in the class.
"Thank you." he said blushing a little. It was the only pair in the entire room with a boy girl mix. Every one else was sitting with their friends.
He walked over and sat down in the seat next to me.
"Hello Martha." he said still blushing.
"Hi Damian." I wasn't very happy about this. I was kind of a loner besides my two friends that were gone all the time. So having to sit next to someone really ticked me off. I didn't care if it was the only seat open. All the teachers knew that I didn't like people close to me.
After that our math teacher just droned on about things that I all ready knew plenty about. I didn't see why they didn't move me up a grade. I was supposed to be there anyways. And I had enough experience with all of them. Suddenly the fire alarm went off jolting me out of my thoughts.
The teacher ushered us outside to the front of the school. I figured it was just a drill. This school very rarely had fires. It turned out I was right. We went back inside and the rest of my classes before lunch went without incident.

Chapter Two

I walked to the lunch line and grabbed a tray. As I was getting my food I heard someone say my name. I turned around to see Damian right behind me.
"Hi Martha."
Oh my gosh. Why did he keep pestering me? Just because he sat next to me in math didn't mean anything.
"What do you want Damian? Just because you sit next to me in math and well all my other classes doesen't mean you need to talk to me all the time."
"Well actually I was hoping to sit with you at lunch. My buds kind of shunned me."
"Well then they're obviuously not your 'buds'. Idiot." I muttered under my breath.
After that he left me alone. Unfortunately when my friends weren't here that also gave the popular kids a chance to pick on me. Mostly it was the boys. Fortunately the only people I hung out with were boys so I knew how to handle them. But that also meant that my friends were boys and that meant I got teased alot more.
"Hey Martha." one of the cheer leaders said. "Where are your body gaurds? Did they ditch again?"
"They don't ditch Clarissa. Now if you don't imnd I have to get to English." with that I tried to keep on walking but someone stepped in front of me. I looked up to see Clarissa's boy friend.
"Oh come one Martha. You know they ditch. Just admit it."
"You know what Dave? Back off!" I yelled. It made him kind of back up but he went right back to looking some what frightening.
"How about no? I like teasing you. It's fun." he said toying with my braids.
I slapped his hand away and started walking to my class. The halls were starting to empty. "Dude leave my hair alone. You know I don't like being touched."
"I use that to my advantage." he said toying with my braids again. And once again I slapped his hand away. "DAVE! I told you to back off. Now if you don't mind I have to go to English and you have to go to math. Now move out of my way." I said shoving past him. He caught hold of my braids tugging on them.
'That's it.' I thought to myself. 'I'm tired of being bullied.'
I turned back around and with one swift move punched him and knocked the wind out of him. I think they had forgotten that I had been on the boxing and wrestling team. I was a tomboy and they just hadn't realized that. I grabbed his hand and twisted until he started whimpering.
"Leave me the hell alone. Or next time I will get the principal. And if he doesen't do something then I'll break every bone in your body." with that I dropped his hand and walked to English. They fortunately left me alone for the rest of the day. Now the only thing I had to avoid when I got home was my fashion model mom.

Chapter Three

I walked, or more like ran, into my house. I had just gotten off the bus. My sister had soccer practice after school so I had to ride the bus home. I stopped and listened carefully. I didn't hear my mom so that was good.
She was always trying to girl me up. It drove me nuts and she knew it, so I didn't understand why she did it. Probably for that very reason.
I was pretty in a kind of geeky way. I had brown hair that I always wore in pig tails. My face had freckles all over it. I didn't bother with make up though. And my clothes were kind of plain. I usually wore shorts, pants, or capris. And my shirts were just as boring. It was usually a regular T-Shirt.
Suddenly hearing my mom's car outside I ran upstairs, into my room, and locked the door. She didn't come in if the door was locked. That meant I was either changing or napping. And that was the only way I ever got left alone. I quickly and quietly changed and went to my bed looking through my homework. After looking through it all I was satisfied and laid down on my bed.
My mom came in calling my name. I stayed quiet so she wouldn't come up. Eventually I heard her walk through the living room and to the kitchen. She started rummaging through the fridge and apparently found something because she closed the fridge.
I stayed in my room until dinner. That was the only time when I went downstairs. For meal times. Other than that I stayed by myself.

Chapter Four

I walked down stairs to the kithchen. My mom looked up as she heard me walk in. What she said to me next was kind of surprising.
"You know Martha. I don't like you hiding by your self. It's not healthy. I think you need to take some counseling. Or therapy."
"NO! Mom you know what happened when I took counseling. They had to sedate me and I ended up in a phsycho ward for three months. And even now I have to take meds! I'm not going back there. I'm fine."
"No, Martha, you're not. You have an appointment tomorrow right after school. I'll be there to pick you up."
"Oh please Mom no. You know how embarassing that is. If you let me take the bus home I'll go to the appointment."
"All right. I guess we can do that."
"Thank you!"
After that we started eating. My mom throwing me nervous glances the entire time. You see when I was about ten I got kidnapped. I didn't see the light of day for a year. And when they finally found me I wasn't quite right. I wouldn't talk to any one. I didn't want to do any thing. Finally my mom sent me to therapy. There all I did was play with the little dolls that the therapist had. And in counseling I had blown up at the counselor and had practically killed him. That's when they had to sedate me and once again I ended up in a little prison sort of thing. The only thing different was that I actually got to see the light of day. But that's why I don't like being touched. The people who stole me had beat me.
Suddenly someone was shaking me and yelling.
"Martha! Martha! Snap out of it! You're not there anymore. You're home. You're safe!"

Chapter Five

I came to on the couch. I don't know how long I had been out but I know what had made me panic so badly. I had thought so much about that basement that I had thought I was actually back there. So I started screaming and freaking out.
"Hello?" I called out. "Mom? Stacey? Are you guys here?"
Suddenly my mother rounded the corner a bit too fast and a bit too loud. She scared me so badly that I fell off of the couch in a heap.
"Oh dear. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. Are you okay?"
"Yeah. I'm fine. I think you're right. I do need to go back the therapy. But this time I won't be able to just sit there and play dolls. I can't do that anymore."
"See? I was right. And don't worry. They won't make you talk if you don't want to. They just want you to get into a quiet stable environment so you can do something."
"How about home work?"
"Perfect. Maybe they could even help you."
"Mom? Seriously? That's an insult to my awesome capabilities."
"Okay. I'm sorry. Well do you want to go up and go to bed? Or do you want to stay down here?"
"I'll stay down here. Can I please stay home from school tomorrow. The cheer leaders and their boy friends were bullying me again."
"Oh dear. I'm sorry. Of course you can stay home. I'll call your school and let them know. Who was it this time?"
"Cassidy and Dave. Umm... I kind of may have threatened to break all the bones in Dave."
"Seriously? I bet you couldn't even come close to harming that boy."
My sister had just come around the corner. She had absolutely no sympathy for me.
"Stacey. Be nice."
"MOM! Are you still buying this? She ran away!"
"Stacey! Go to your room!"
"Mom!"
"Now!"
With that Stacey ran up to her room. I could tell she was peeved. But I didn't care. She always figured I had run away. She just didn't know what I was going through. She had always been the perfect child. While I was the problem child who ran away. According to her at least.
"Do you want me to put in a movie for you? Or are you just going to go to bed?" my mom asked sympathetically.
"I'll just watch what ever is on TV. Hopefully there isn't a bunch of paid programming on."
"All right dear. Come and get me if you need any thing."
"Okay. Thanks Mom." and with that she walked up the stairs. I loved my mom dearly. But sometimes she was a bit too much to deal with. But it was times like this I was glad she was here. My sister was always a real pain in the neck to deal with. But after I came home she was even worse. She figured I had gone to live with them. Not them kid napping me. And she also thought that I had been doing drugs and drinking. And I wasn't even trying to come close to these things. But my captors thought differently. They would shove the stuff down my throat and then put me in a closet until I stopped screaming. Frankly I was somewhat glad they did. It meant I could be safe in my dreams. Until they woke me up and started beating on me again. I know that the therapist is going to want to hear this tomorrow. I just don't know if I'll be in the mood to tell her it. And with those last few thoughts I drifted off into a somewhat peaceful sleep.

Chapter Six

I stayed home from school that day. My mom knew that making me put up with those people was too much for me to deal with. Sometimes I just wish I could go hide in a hole some where. But instead of thinking about that, I thought about the work I would have to make up. I just hoped that Jake and Ryan would bring my work by. My mom had gone to work and my sister school.
After wandering around the house for a while I decided to make lunch. I also suddenly realized that I coul call Jake or Ryan on their cells. I picked up the phone and my lunch and went into the living room to watch TV. I dialed Ryan's phone and within seconds he picked up.
"Mar! Where were you today?!? Mrs. Korone was not happy!"
"Sorry. I stayed home. Hey is Jake there?"
"Yeah. He's right here. YO! Jake! Mar wants to talk to you."
"Hello?" Jake had a some what deeper voice then Ryan but other then that they were pretty much the same. And they were the best friends any one could have. Even if you are a girl.
"Hey. Will you get my work from math, reading, science, and history?"
"Umm yeah. You want Ryan to get your work from English, and Spanish?"
"Yes please. Put him back on."
"Okay. Ryan. She wants to talk to you now."
"Okay. Hello?"
"Hey Ryan. Can you get my work from English, and Spanish? I really don't want to be talking to the teachers about that tomorrow. Because then they'll want to know why I was gone and all that."
"Yeah I can do that. Are you going to be here tomorrow?"
"Yeah. I just didn't want to be there with Clarissa and all those guys."
"They messing with your hair again?"
"Yes. I think I may have come close to breaking Dave's wrist."
"That's our girl! Hey Jake! She almost broke Dave's wrist!"
"All right!"
"Okay well thanks guys. I'll let you go now."
"Okay. Bye. Ryan she's getting off the phone. Say bye. We'll bring your work by after school. That okay?"
"Yeah that's fine. Oh I forgot! I have therapy after school."
"Really? That sucks. Okay well we'll get your work. But call us when you get home from therapy."
"Okay. Thanks. Bye guys."
With that we hung up. They had been my best friends since sixth grade when I started getting picked on by some kids. Ryan had told them ever so nicely to leave me the hell alone while Jake helped me pick up my things. Ever since them I had clung to them and they to me. Partly because Jake and I kind of sort were dating but we didn't show it or any thing. We just hung out alot.
After our conversation I decided to go change out of my PJs and into something a little nicer for my therapy session. After looking for about twenty minutes I decided on a pair of jeans, my greenday sweat shirt, and a pair of running shoes. After I got changed I went down stairs to clean up after my lunch. Once I was done with that I just went and laid down on the couch to watch TV.
After about three really crappy shows I realized my mom would be home any minute. I grabbed my school bag and went to find out whether I had anything to do. It turned out I hadn't finished my work last night so I would be doing it during therapy. I just hoped that this one wouldn't tick me off to the point where I tried to kill her and had to be sedated.
Sitting there in the quiet kind of calmed me down. I see what they meant about getting me somewhere quiet and calm. It kept all the bad thoughts out of my head and it helped me focus on things. Suddenly I heard the door open then slam shut. Mom was home.
"Martha! You ready to go sweet heart?"
"Yeah! I have my homework ready. And Ryan and Jake are bringing my work by after therapy so I can get caught up. I am not going to deal with the teachers yelling at me. And I am deffinitely not telling them why I stayed home. Did you let them know that I wasn't going to be there though?"
"Yes I did. I told them you weren't feeling well. But I did tell them that you were getting picked on. I didn't name names or anything but I told them that you probably wouldn't be there on Mondays because Ryan and Jake wouldn't be there to help you."
"Okay. On Mondays can we three do home then just go do something?"
"I guess. Oh! Look at the time! We better go."

Chapter Seven

We pulled up to the therapist's office about a half hour later. Her building was surprisingly cheery on the outside. It was painted a pinkish color. Like not so dark that you wonder what they were thinking but kind of a rose pink. It also had white trimming with white and red flowers, roses mostly, bordering the side walk and building. The inside was the same way. I knew all ready that I was going to like this therapist.
We walked inside only to be met by a bunch of sad looking people sitting in chairs. I had always wondered what would happen if a room of people were sad all at the same time. Well I just found out. Absolutely nothing happens. You aren't effected at all. Suddenly I heard a door open. I looked up to see a woman making a bee line for me.
"Oh hello! I'm Dr. Weinbecker. Please do come into my office. Oh! You must me Martha. You know I absolutely love that name. Oh Mrs. Kindler you can sit out here. Martha your mother told me you aren't comfortable talking and you're a bit too old for dolls so you can just do home work or draw or something. We can just do that until you fell comfortable talking. How does that sound?"
"Fine I guess. I brought my home work so I can just work on that. But keep in mind I won't be opening up any time soon. So don't get your hopes up. See ya Mom."
"All right Sweet heart. I'll see you when you get out. Be good."
With that I walked to her office. It was painted a sky blue with white carpeting. I liked it.
"Go ahead and sit any where. You know you can talk to me. That's why I'm here. And I'd like your mother to get something out of this."
"I don't want to talk. I all ready told you that. Now if you don't mind I'm going to do my home work."
"Okay then. But go ahead and start talking when ever. Oh and you can call me Julie if you want."
"What ever."
The rest of the session went like that. My mom was paying like thirty bucks an hour for this. So I just wasted a good sixty bucks. By the end of the session I had finished my home work and painted three pictures. Julie kept those paintings and said very pleasantly, "I'll see you next week."
"What ever."
With that I walked out of her office still wondering what the point of this was.
"How was it?" my mother said happily when I came out.
"Fine." I said simply. I knew she would be talking to Julie. So I didn't feel any need to explain that.
"Mrs. Kindler, could you please come into my office to talk? I feel it's very important."
"Of course. Martha I'll be right back. Go ahead and go out to the car."
After she said that she walked into Julie's office. I knew that she would be worrting about me for a while. I would probably end up on anti deppressents or something. Great. I was going to be the school nut case. One more thing for Clarissa to make fun of me about. I really wasn't looking forward to this.

Chapter Eight

When we got home my mom finally started talking. I had been wondering all the way here what Julie was wanting to talk to my mom about.
"Umm... Martha, I know you're not going to be happy about this but Julie thinks you need to go on some antideppressent medications."
"I knew it! MOM! There's nothing wrong with me. I'm just feeling kind of alone now and days."
"That's just the problem. You have an anti social disorder! I know you have friends and all but you block your self out from every one else. Your sister, me, even the woman who's trying to help you! Why are you doing this?"
"Doing what?!? I'm not doing anything! You're the one who's been trying to turn me into some skanky super model! Maybe next time that's what I'll talk about. The fact that you're always trying to put me into dresses and put make up on me! I'm sure Julie would love to hear all about the fact than ever since Dad left you haven't been the same. Maybe that's why I've got that anti social disorder. Because he was the only one who understood me! Mom! I'm almost sixteen. Dad left three years ago. Why you're still going as 'Mrs.' baffles me! Maybe you should be the one on the anti deppresents!"
"Martha you know why I still go as Mrs. You know why your dad left too. He couldn't handle the fact that I am an independent woman who has a job."
"YEAH! Flaunting yourself in front of people! Mom it's demoralizing to woman to be up there in those outfits! We're not just property! We actually have a say in things now! I don't care what any one says! The world's changed. And woman are a part of it now."
"I know this Dear. But- I have to put food on the table. I have to pay the bills. Your sister is going to be leavig in a few months. What do you want me to do?"
"Any thing that would help this family without degrading woman's rights." With those last few words I stormed up the stairs.
I knew what I said had hurt my mom. And I knew that I would have to take those pills. Other wise I'd end up in the mental ward at the local hosital again. I didn't want any of those happening. I just knew that the next several weeks were going to be my own personal hell.

Chapter Nine

I woke up right before my alarm clock went off. Before it could even beep I turned it off. I hurriedly got changed and ran down stairs to eat breakfast. Today Stacey couldn't yell at me. I was wondering how she would react to me being down here. Suddenly I realized I could take the bus. I left a note, grabbed my stuff, and ran out the door and down to the bus stop. I had to wait a few minutes so I sat down on the bench and thought about the fight my mom and I had last night. I knew she would be getting my meds today. I knew that she would probably not talk to me for a while but I didn't care. I wasn't talking to her any time soon.
Suddenly the bus came up and opened up its doors. Me and the other kids that were there climbed on. I saw Ryan near the back of the bus with Jake. I went and sat down by them and they immediatly started questioning me about the therapist.
"It was horrible. I have to go again next week."
After a few minutes they quieted down and I told them about the fight me and my mom had. Their looks went from confused, to sympathetic, and back to confused.
"You had a fight with your mom about that again? What is that? The third time this month?" Jake asked.
"Yes. It's starting to really tick me off. Hopefully after yesterday she'll drop it for a while."
After I said that they started firing questions at me again. They were cut off by one of the girls on our bus screaming. I looked up to see that the bus driver hadn't been paying attention and had swerved into the other lane and we were heading straight for and eighteen wheeler. Jake and Ryan quickly grabbed me, pulled me over the seat, and into their laps. There we all held onto eachother desperately.
The next thing I knew I heard a horrible crunching sound as we collided with the semi truck and were pushed off the road. We started rolling down a grade and every one started bouncing all over the place. Jake came undone from our little group and started bouncing down the aisle. Ryan held fast to me and I was starting to thing the worst. We were all going to die. We were going to come to a stop, burst into flames, and die.
Suddenly we did come to a stop but we didn't burst into flames. Actually considering what had just happened the bus was in remarkable condition. The people on the bus was a completely different story though. Everyone was bloody and tangled together and hurt. Ryan and I stood up shakily and started looking for Jake. We found him twisted around a seat. From the look on his face told me he was gone.
Ryan turned me around and pulled me into a hug.
"I'm so sorry Mar. I know you loved him like a brother."
"I all ready miss him." at those words I broke down and started crying. And I wasn't the only one. Other kids were crying for fear of their friends, from pain, and pretty much just from the crash itsself.
As we were all standing there still in the bus we heard sirens in the distance. Suddenly the bus driver spoke up.
"All right every one! I want you all to get off the bus in an orderly fashion. Those of you who can help please do. If some one may have a back or neck injury do not move them! I repeat don't move any one if they might have a back or neck injury."
Ryan helped me off because I had gotten my ankle twisted around a seat and I was pretty sure it was broken. After sitting me down with everyone else he went to help more people. After almost every one was off the bus we all just sat there talking trying to comfort each other. Ryan was doing his best to comfort me but it wasn't doing much.
After sitting there for about ten more minutes the cops and paramedics showed up. Suddenly that's when the cops started firing questions at the bus driver. I only caught a couple of them and they weren't very nice so I just ignored them.
The paramedics took care of the more critical people first but someone got over to me pretty quick. I had zoned out and it was taking Ryan a little bit to get my attention.
"Mar? Mar. Martha!"
"Huh?!? What?"
"This paramedic wants to check out your head and your ankle."
"Oh okay. Here let me pull my pant leg up."
After looking at it for a couple minutes she asked me if I could move my ankle. I tried to move it but all I managed to do was bring more pain to myself.
"Well I think you may have broken it. What about your head? It's bleeding."
"I don't know. I think I might have a concussion. I boucned it off the floor pretty hard when we rolled down that grade."
"You're probably right. But we won't know much until we get to the hospital. Do you have something to call your parents or some one who can let your parents know? Or do you need to wait until we're at the hospital?"
"Ryan and I both need to waith till we're at the hospital." I said matter of factly. Neither of us had phones. Our parents wouldn't let us have them. It really sucked but I dealt with it.
"All right. That'll be the first thing you can do when you get to the hospital."
"Okay. Thank you very much."
After sitting there for awhile Ryan interrupted my thoughts.
"My mom is going to freak when she hears about this."
"I know. After having that fight with my mom I feel really bad. But things happen. Right?"
"I guess. Oh it looks like they're transporting. You want me to ride with you?"
"Please. I really don't like being alone at times like this."
"All right."
With that he helped me up and over to the ambulance. After a little bit of arguing the paramedics finally let him ride with me. They injected something into my arm for the pain but it did more then just kill the pain. It knocked me out. Because the next thing I knew I heard Ryan telling me everything was going to be okay and then nothing.

Chapter Ten

I woke up in a hospital room only to be met by my sister, mom, and Ryan. I was actually surprised that Stacey was here. She usually didn't have any sympathy for me but the look in her eyes told me she was genuinely worried.
"Hey guys. What time is it?" I said still groggy from the pain meds.
"It's a little after two. You hungry?" my mom said sounding grateful that I was awake.
"Yeah. What do they have here?"
"Well their food is suckish but there are some soda and candy machines right accross the hall."
"I'll take pepsi, two snickers, a cookie, and a bag of potato chips."
After I riddled off all of those my sister looked at me like I was insane.
"What? I only had a banana for breakfast and it's like two hours after my lunch. I'm really hungry."
"All right. I'll go get them." with that she walked out of the room.
"You okay Ryan?" I asked wondering about him and my ankle.
"Yeah. Just a couple scrapes and bruises. You have a broken ankle, concussion, and stitches across your forehead though." he said with a grimace on his face.
"UGGGHHHH! Why? Why did this have to happen to me today? I should have just woken up when Stacey got me up. Then this wouldn't have happened. And you and Jake. Wait! Is Jake okay?"
"He's in the ICU unit with a broken neck and he's in a coma. But they're keeping him as comfortable as possible. And there are doctors watching him twenty-four seven." my mom said sensing my worry.
"When can I go see him?" I asked antsily.
Ryan spoke up suddenly.
"I don't think that would be a good idea. You're all ready kind of unstable. Plus with your anti deppressants and therapy sessions you don't really have the mental stability for it. So probably not for a while."
"Here's your lunch!" my sister had just come back with my stuff.
"Thanks Sis."
"Whoa. Sis? Who are you and what have you done with my sister?" Stacey said playfully.
"Umm Ryan can you and my sister go out for a little bit. I need to talk to my mom. Privately."
Ryan was the first to speak up.
"Yeah. Come on Stacey. We can go see how Jake's doing."
"All right. But I'm not going in that room. I can't stand the incessant beeping of all those machines."
After she said that I heard Ryan crack up laughing. Well at least those two were some what okay.
"So. What did you want to talk about?" my mom said interrupting my thoughts.
"Our fight. Mom I'm so sorry I said any of that stuff. I do know why dad left. I do know why you still go by Mrs. And I do know why you do that job. It's just. I was ticked off and upset. Can you forgive me?"
"Of course I can Sweety. I'm so sorry I've been trying to turn you into something you're not. I know you don't like any of those things. Can you forgive me?"
"Yeah Mom I can. So. How badly is my ankle broken?"
"Well you're going to be on crutches for a month. Just be lucky about your head. The doctor said a couple centimeters lower and you would have lost an eye."
"UUUGGGHHH!!! This is not what I need. Clarissa is going to torture me. I can hear it now. 'Hey Crutches! How's the head?' She'll kill me Mom!"
"Oh now don't be so dramatic. She won't kill you."
"Mom. Third grade? The monkey bars. My arm still won't unbend all the way!"
"You know that was an accident Martha."
"She told me she was going to do right before she did it! She has it out for me! I don't know why but ever since I started hanging out with Ryan and Jake she's hated my guts. Before that she just ignored me!"
"Well I don't know what to tell you. Just stay close to Ryan and you'll be fine."
"What about Jake?"
"Even if he does make a full recovery, he won't be there for the rest of the year."
"Oh my gosh! Why does every thing happen to me?!?"
Just as my mom was about to say something a bunch of alarms started going off. Suddenly I heard a voice over some speakers.
"We have a situation in the ICU wing. Room 458. I repeat. We have a situation in the ICU wing. Room 458. A patient in critical condition has stopped breathing."
I looked desperately at my mom. The look on her face told me that it was Jake's room. I started crying and my mom came and held me.
"It's going to be okay. It could be a mistake. Maybe it's a different room. Or it's just a drill."
"No! Why? I want to go see him as soon as possible. I don't want the last time to see him to be on the bus when I thought he was dead."
"Okay Sweetheart. As soon as we can I'll have a nurse get a wheel chair and we'll go down there and see him."
After I heard the alarms stop I calmed down a little. I calmed down even more when Stacey and Ryan came in.
"Hey Mar. What you doing?" Ryan said happily. Since he was this happy I figured Jake was fine.
"Hoping that Clarissa won't try and murder me like she did in third grade. Say umm. Was that Jake's room that all the alarms went off for?"
"What? Oh no! It was the room right next to that. But Jake isn't doing that good. I guess you're going to want and see him?"
"Yeah. Just in case. You know."
"Yeah. I'll get the nurse." with that Ryan walked out of the room.
"All right. Help me out of this bed." I said some what bossily to my mom and sister.
"Okay. Let's help her. Give us your arms."
I slung my arms over their shoulders so they could support me. In a few seconds Ryan came back with a nurse and a wheel chair. My mom and sister helped me sit down in it while Ryan got a blanket to cover me up since the hospital gown wasn't that decent. It was short and kind of see through. After that the nurse wheeled me out of the room and down to Jake's room. My sister got the door so I could get through. As soon as we went in I saw Jake laying there. He seemed like he was just sleeping. But I knew that wasn't it. He was in a coma. And it was one he might not come back out of. I felt so helpless. Why couldn't all these things stop happening to me?
I suddenly heard the rhythmitic beeping of the machine start to fade. I instantly knew what was going on.
"Get me out of here. " I told the nurse frantically. She looked at my mom who started shaking her head yes.
As we headed out I heard the machine go from 'beep... beep... beep...' to a flat line. Suddenly a bunch of people came rushing in. The nurse expertly manuevered me out of the way and into the hall. As we headed back to my room I heard them working with the shock paddles. I didn't want to hear it any more so I covered my ears and closed my eyes.
I apparently dozed off a little because the next thing I knew Ryan was shaking me.
"Mar! Martha! Wake up!"
"Huh what?!?" I said frantically. I think I may have punched him in the face because I suddenly heard him grunt in pain. "Oh Ryan! I'm so sorry! Are you okay?!?"
"Yeah. I'm fine. What about you? You fell asleep."
"I'm fine. Umm... What about? What about Jake?"
The look on his face told me instantly. I had lost one of my bestfriends and my first boyfriend.
"Oh my God! He's dead! I can't believe this! Why? How?"
"They don't know. They're trying to figure out. They figure his heart just gave out because of all of the things. Or one of his broken ribs punctured a lung. I'm so sorry Mar. I know how much he meant to you."
"Thaknks Ryan. But that doesen't change anything. I just want to go back to bed."
"Okay. Here. Put your arms up around my neck." I did as I was told and he lifted me up with absolutely no problem at all. "Wow. You need to put on a couple of pounds Mar. You're about the weight of like three carts."
"Don't worry about it. Just get me in the bed."
"Okay. There. Here's your blanket. Now just call if you need anything."
"Thanks again Ryan. I'll do that. Promise me you'll stay nearby?"
"I promise." and suddenly he did something I hadn't expected. He bent over and kissed me on the cheek. He blused a bright cherry red and walked out of the room. I decided not to think much about it. And with that last odd thought in my head, I drifted off into a fitful sleep.

Chapter Eleven

I see Jake running towards me on a bus. Suddenly it starts sliding off the road. Jake falls and cracks his head off a seat. Oh my God. He's turning white. Wait. Why is my mom and sister here? Why are they taking him away. NO! Bring him back!
I suddenly sat up in bed with Ryan standing over me. I felt cold and clammy. And my head hurt like freaking hell.
"What the freak Mar. You had me scared half to death! Let me guess. Another nightmare?"
"Yeah. I'm sorry. Did I wake you?"
"No. I just came in. Your mom said I could just come on up. You know it's been a week. I know you miss him but these dreams can't continue. Are you taking your meds?"
"Yes. Dude trust me. I am not arguing with my mom on that. And yes. I am going to therapy and checking with the school counselor every day at school. Dude. You've got to quit worrying so much."
"How can I do that when I love you like crazy?"
"I don't know. Now get out of my room will ya? I know you're my boy friend and all but the PJs I have on are not something that you or any one else should see."
"Oh all right. I'll be out in the hall."
"Okay. I'll be out in a minute."
He walked out of the room still looking kind of nervous. I knew he worried about me but I wish he wouldn't check on me every day. And I really wish my mom wouldn't let him come up here while I was still asleep. I mean. What if i wasn't? What if I was naked? That would be very awkward.
I pushed that thought out of my head, grabbed my crutches, and got up. The school let me go without my uniform skirt and let me wear pants because of my cast. Well pretty much all the kids on that bus were in casts or not even back in school yet.
'No.' I told myself mentally. 'Quit thinking about that. It's over and in the past. Get dressed and get out there. You don't want to be late for school.'
I went to my closet grabbed my clothes and changed. After getting on my shoe and putting a sock over my cast, I grabbed my bag and went into the hall way.
"You ready to go Mar?" Ryan asked me still looking slightly worried.
"Yeah. Let's go."
He grabbed my bag so I could use my crutches. Unfortunately the stairs in my house were really narrow so Ryan had to walk infront of me instead of beside like we did at school. The teachers made it so that he would be with me in every class. No matter what anybody said. I was glad that they had taken the time to make arrangements for me but that didn't stop the fact that Clarissa was still being a bitch to me.
"So. Are you looking forward to school today?" my mom asked us when we got down the stairs and into the living room?
"Mom? Are you seriously asking that? One more stupid question and I just may shove something down your throat."
"Now Mar. Be nice to your mom."
"Okay. I'm sorry Mom. You ready to go Ryan?"
"Yep. See ya later Mrs. Kindler."
"Now Ryan. How many times do I have to tell you? Just call me Jane."
"Okay. See ya later Jane. Come on Mar. We're taking my car."
"All righty then. Bye Mom!"
Ryan helped me out to the car and threw our bags in the back.
"So. Are you ready to go back and see every one?"
"Do you want me to shove something down your throat too?"
"Sorry. Shutting up now."
"Okay. I'm sorry Ryan. I just haven't been getting much sleep lately."
"Okay. Oh. We're here. Ready?"
"Ryan..."
"Sorry."
With that we walked into the school together. I was happy that we were aloud to take our bags from class to class. I wanted to avoind contact with Clarissa as much as possible. And the fact that her locker was right next to mine didn't help anything. Well. It's time to go back to my own personal hell.

Chapter Twelve

We walked into the school and were immediatly met by a mob of people. They were all asking how Ryan and I were doing and if we needed anything. We both answered fine and we didn't need anything. Ryan grabbed me close and led us through the crowd of students. They weren't breaking very well until someone cleared their throat. I knew who it was immediatly.
"Ryan?"
"I'm here. Don't worry Mar."
"Well... well... well... Look who's back. It's Crutches and her bodygaurd. How are you guys? Still recuperating from your faked accident? Or did you go far enought to actually hurt yourself? You know what. I bet you made that bus crash just to get all this attention."
Ryan was standing infront of me protectively. That was how it had always been. Jake would stand behind me and hold my hands while Ryan was infront of me. They knew I could break bones but refused to break them. Unfortunately every one else knew it too.
"Clarissa back off."
"Why? I like messing with you losers. It's fun."
"Just go away. We don't want to have anything to deal with you."
"No."
Clarissa kept standing there. Suddenly the bell rang making pretty much everyone scatter. Clarissa turned and walked away with her little possee, but I knew that she'd be back at lunch.
"Come one Mar. We're going to be late."
We walked to the classroom and the instant we walked in every one in there immediatly fell silent. The teacher was the only one who spoke up.
"Oh look! Martha and Ryan are back. I want you guys to make them feel comfortable. Don't pester them and if they need it I want you to help them. Do you guys understand?"
Everyone in class nodded their heads and then went back to their conversations. The teacher immediatly quieted them again.
"All right considering the curcumstances there won't be class for the rest of the week. You guys will just be coming here and it will just be going to your first hour class and then going where ever you want. These include the gym, the cafeteria, and any class rooms you want. Now you may continue with what you want. Feel free to wander around. Have fun."
With that the teacher left the room. And it was like two superstars had walked into the room because as soon as the door closed everyone jumped up and started asking us questions.
"Hey! Guys! As you can see we're fine. We don't need any help and I wouldn't ask this chick any stupid questions cause so far she's threatened to kill me and her mother. So if you don't mind back up."
Every one immediatly took a step back. Which was a relief because I had started to get a little claustrophobic. Ryan and I headed to the cafeteria where once again we were met by a bunch of eager students. Ryan told them the same thing. Eventually it got to the point where we just went and hid in the conference room. There the only people we had to deal with were the faculty.
As we sat there I knew that every thing was going to be okay. That I could move on with my life. And Ryan had helped me through all the hard times and all the easier times. But no matter what I knew he had been there through it all. Now all I had to do was be there for him if possible and we woul have the perfect life together. I had the best life possible. And now it was even better. And this is where my story ends.

The End

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Tag der Veröffentlichung: 08.06.2011

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