My Sisters Keeper
By Stephanie Parke

Some people touch our lives and become such a part of us that we would do anything for them, anything to protect them. Sometimes we have to protect them even when they don’t ask for it. Leona sighed as these thoughts raced through her mind as she pushed her hand through her hair. She couldn’t help thinking that her sister was one of those people. She rested her chin on her knees looking out on the bright sunshine flooding the yard. Her niece Angela frolicked in the summer sunshine, pink-ribboned pigtails bobbing as she giggled at the antics of her terrier as she chased her around the yard. Her laughter floated on the wind making her smile. Angela smiled and waved at her as she whizzed by and Leona found herself thinking back to another time when innocence had seemed to be everywhere.

The fall leaves swirled and seemed to beckon the two twelve-year-olds out into the fading afternoon air. Leona sighed deeply, breathing in the crisp air that held the first hint of winter. Her mind drifted to the boy who had just moved in next door and she raised herself on the tips of her sketchers and stretched up, trying to see over the chipped wooden fence into his yard. She gasped as a flurry of leaves shot at her catching her unaware, filling her mouth.

She spit the leaves out and looked at the criminal responsible for this attack. Becky smiled impishly at her, her face a mirror image of Leona’s. Becky put her hands on her hips and raised an eyebrow as if to say, “What are you going to do about it?”

With a battle cry fit for a warrior queen, Leona tossed the end of her red knit scarf behind her back and put her head down charging her. She connected with Becky’s stomach with a thunk that knocked them both over scattering all the leaves they’d so carefully raked. The wind whooshed out of Becky and the smile slipped off her face as she found herself flat on her back looking up at the sky. They wrestled and threw leaves, giggling and laughing as the light continued to fade.

Breathing hard, Becky leaned back on her arms and smiled at Leona.
“What were you doing peeking over the fence,” she asked between pants, “and don’t tell me nothing.”

Leona smiled but wondered if she should tell her. Lately Becky had a habit of trying to take the things Leona wanted and she did not want to encourage Becky on this one.

“Nothing” she sighed out anyway as she sunk back on her own elbows looking at the darkening sky. Her red knit hat had slipped back and she pulled it into place ignoring her sister’s outraged look.

“You are such a bad liar.” Becky screeched coming to a sitting position in the leaves adjusting her own matching blue hat and scarf. “You were looking for Jerod weren’t you?” Another handful of leaves flew her way like a burst of flower petals and Leona ducked not answering the question.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She muttered as she brushed a stray oak leaf off her shoulder. She sighed as she realized she must not have hidden her “I love Jerod” doodles on her schoolbooks as well as she thought she had.

“Well,” Becky said with a sly smile as she stood shaking leaves off her legs, “let’s go show Jerod your notebooks and we’ll see what he thinks.” Becky moved toward the house but got no more than three feet before she was tackled again from behind.
“No,” Leona screeched as she clung to her sister’s legs.

Becky laughed and shook her off but managed to trip in the process landing face first in the remaining leaves. She rolled over and smiled at her sister laughing at the worried look on her face.

“Don’t worry,” she said with a laugh and a mock salute, “You’re secret is safe with me.”

Leona sighed in relief and rolled over on her back staring at the first stars winking to life. She slapped her sister with her red hat and breathed in deeply enjoying the early evening air.

“Skank,” she laughed as she pinched her sister, receiving a pinch in return. For now Leona forgot her moment of worry. The girls laughed and continued to make angels in the leaves until the back porch light blinked on calling them in for dinner.

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Loving someone is not always easy and Leona breathed deeply as the summer wind caressed her face as she thought about when they had begun to grow apart. Her heart clutched as she breathed deeply waiting for the pain to pass as she remembered how she had always tried to protect Becky, how Becky had never seemed to want her help no matter how many times she had offered it. By the time they reached high school she and Becky were as different as two people could be and Becky was drifting further and further out of reach.

The thrum of Hearts “All I Want to do is Make Love to you” leaked into the happy chatter running rampant in the bathroom, for a moment blotting out the whispers and the rush of water at the sinks. The click of pocket mirrors being opened and shut and dresses being pulled back into place seemed loud in the silence of the bathroom compared to the blaring music of the party. Seventeen-year old Leona stepped up to the mirror and caught the identical gaze displayed there sighing heavily.

“What’s that on your face,” she asked in a harsh whisper as she moved to stand behind Becky in the mirror pretending to smooth a wrinkle on the skirt of her lavender prom dress, “Or do I need to ask?”

Becky’s beauty queen face screwed up into a grimace as she dabbed more Cover Girl beneath her right eye and across her cheekbone and eyed the girls standing at the other end of the sink. “Don’t start tonight, she said sourly as she worked, keeping her voice low, it’s no big deal.”

The girls at the other end of the long cracked sink left the bathroom with their dresses swishing and their laughter ringing behind them. Alone in the bathroom Leona looked closely at her twin under the fluorescent glare of the vanity lights. Her eyes began to water as she watched the bruise on her sister’s face not quite disappear under a layer of makeup.

Leona grabbed her chin in her hands and turned Becky’s face toward her. She inspected it again before meeting her eyes. “This doesn’t look like no big deal,” she hissed, “how can you let him do this to you?”

Becky’s eyes flared as she pulled away. “Who said he did anything?” she asked with a sneer as she slammed her compact and concealer back into her clutch, her fall of blonde hair covering her face as she spoke.

“I do” Leona said folding her arms over her chest, “I’m sick and tired of you coming home with bruises; I’m tired of having to cover up for you.”

Becky’s purse slapped the counter as she turned to face her. “Why can’t you let this go, Why is this your business?” She stepped closer to Leona until she was inches from her face. “No one asked you to help.”

Leona’s face paled under the fluorescent lights as she breathed deeply trying to count to ten. “It’s our business to take care of each other,” “I’m not going to let him hurt you anymore.”

“You are not my mother,” Becky said slowly, with so much venom in her voice that Leona almost recoiled. “You can’t let me have any life can you, its senior prom for god’s sake and all you can do is worry about a little bruise.” Why don’t you mind your own business?”

Leona gritted her teeth as she felt her temperature rise another notch.” It’s not just a little bruise and you are my business,” she said almost managing calm, “you are my sister and I want to help you.”

“Just because you are three minutes older does not make you my damn guardian.“ Becky hissed as she grabbed her purse, adjusted the straps of her blue and green mermaid style prom gown and began to push past her, “why don’t you go find Mr. Perfect and leave my problems to me.”

Leona grabbed her arm, stopping her as she went to move past her. “These are not your problems; they are Jay’s, Stop protecting him.” She shook Becky’s arm lightly as if trying to shake some sense into her.

“He’s my problem, because I love him.” Becky said sourly as she pulled free, “and this,” she indicated her face with a gloved finger, “was an accident.” Leona tried to grab her arm again but her gloved arm slipped through her fingers anyway.

Leona rolled her eyes and scoffed as she tried to stand in her way again. “You’ve been having “accidents” for months now.” She said making air quotes with her fingers, “and frankly you sound like a Lifetime movie of the week.” She put her hands on her hips and glared at her, “are you really going to let yourself become a pathetic stereotype? Why are you making excuses for him?”

Becky swished by her with a whisper of taffeta and turned at the door looking at her for a brief moment. Her eyes seemed sad yet determined as if she were hell bent on convincing herself as well as her twin. She breathed deeply as if regaining her composure would make everything better. She twitched her wrap back into place over her shoulders and tucked her purse under her arm pointedly ignoring Leona’s last comment.

“I am not the one who got the perfect boyfriend,” she said quietly, “some of us actually have flaws. For the last time,” she said slowly, “mind your own business.”

She plastered a smile on her face, squared her shoulder and thrust her breasts out as she disappeared out into the semi darkness of Westwood High’s gymnasium without another look back. Preparing for battle, Leona thought sadly. Leona shook her head to clear the fog lodged there before heading after her. The swirl of light from the disco ball matched the pounding beat of Pat Benetar’s “Love is a Battlefield” as her eyes quickly adjusted to the gloom searching for her sister. She found her dancing in Jay’s arms across the room smiling brightly at anyone who cared to look. Her eyes met Leona’s across the floor and a look of pure defiance flashed across her face before she schooled her features and looked up at Jay smiling her thousand watt smile. He turned, catching Leona’s eyes and grinned, nodding his head in acknowledgement. Leona shivered at the self assured smile with its contrived crooked grin and turned away quickly. Unlike everyone else, she knew what hid behind those perfect Ken doll looks and it made her heart freeze.

She stepped out of the gym and pulled her cell phone out of her purse. She quickly dialed their home number and waited for her mother to answer. On the second ring she heard her mother’s calming voice come crackling across the line.

“Mom” she whispered urgently, “We need some help.”

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If things could have gone from bad to worse they did, Leona remembered sadly. Leona had tried to help but Becky had pulled away faster after that and Leona had not known how to stop it. Their mother’s battle with cancer had overshadowed the abuse still happening and it had cloaked the sickness that had seeped into Becky until she was unable to break free, until she had slipped out of Leona’s reach. Until she thought she deserved it, until she made one of the worst mistakes of her life.


The anticipation in the crowd had seemed almost palpable as the graduating class waited to declare their freedom in their black caps and gowns with blue and gold tassels gleaming in the early summer sunshine. Leona brushed an imaginary piece of lint from her gown and stared at her shoes trying not to meet her parent’s questioning eyes or notice the empty chair beside her. Leona nervously waited for her name to be called wishing she could be anywhere but here. She felt worry rise as she sneaked a peek at her pale mother sitting in the stands. The cancer treatment had taken its toll on her and Leona felt her throat close over as her mother raised thin, perfect brows in question. Avoiding her eyes, Leona stared straight ahead. The valedictorian’s words drifted over her as she tried to keep her smile in place even as the fight she’d had with her sister only an hour before drifted through her mind.

The rush to get ready had been nerve wracking and Leona’s parents had actually left the girls behind to finish getting ready so that they could get a seat up front. Leona had smiled as she applied a last swipe of sapphire eye shadow to her upper lid and clicked her compact shut. She hummed “Some Enchanted Evening” as she waltzed back into her bedroom. She picked up the blue flower that matched the one in her own hair and pushed open the adjoining door to look for her sister.

The flower made a splash of blue on the beige carpet as Leona took in the open suitcase on the bed. Leona’s heart dropped as she noticed the clothes haphazardly thrown inside. She rushed out into the hall and called her sister’s name. Her heart sank even further when she received no answer.

“Becky,” she yelled as she raced out into the hallway, “Where are you?”
She reached the top of the stairs when her sister came into view framed in the bathroom doorway. Leona’s sigh of relief was short lived as Becky raised a brow and shouldered past her carrying her toothbrush and shampoo. Leona shook her head and followed her back into her room.

“What are you doing?” she asked as she watched her place the items in the suitcase, afraid to admit to herself what her eyes were telling her.

“What does it look like I’m doing?” Becky said as she slipped a pair of Jordache jeans and her favorite Westwood High Wildcats hoodie into the suitcase without looking at her.

“It looks like you’re making a mistake to me.”

“Well no one asked you did they,” Becky said in a tone that made it clear that she was sick to death of hearing Leona. “Just do us both a favor and go on to graduation and pretend like nothing’s wrong.”

“Why are you doing this?” Leona asked wildly. Fear that this would be the last time she would see her sister filled her and she grabbed the pants out of the suitcase and tossed them back onto the bed.

Becky sighed and picked the pants up balling them up in her hands as she tried to keep her irritation under control. She looked at Leona and stuffed them back in the suitcase sitting on it to get it shut. She bounced and was finally able to close it. She slid the zipper home with a hiss that seemed loud and entirely too final to Leona’s ears.

“This is none of your business,” she said in a bored voice,” I thought we talked about that at prom, or weren’t you listening?”

“God Becky!” Leona cried as she ran a hand through her hair nearly dislodging the blue flower clipped there. “I thought that you would listen after mom talked to you.” “You can’t possibly be thinking of leaving with him! I thought you weren’t seeing him anymore!”

“Guess you were wrong, “ Becky said gruffly as she sat on the bed pulling her Sketchers on over her favorite Count Chocula socks. “Thanks for siccing her on me by the way,” she grumbled as she ran her hands through her own shorter bob and stared up into Leona’s eyes.

“Becky, I love you,” Leona stumbled feeling suddenly guilty,”I was just trying to help you; you’re drowning and can’t seem to see it.”

Becky groaned and stood, grabbing Leona’s face. “Listen to me,” she said forcefully making sure Leona looked into her eyes, “I don’t need your help, it’s my decision.”

Leona covered Becky’s hands with her own and pulled back to look at her. “You’re heading for trouble and you just can’t see it.” “I don’t want him to hurt you anymore.” Leona felt tears filling her eyes as she grasped her hands. “Please don’t do this; there is no reason why you can’t take some time and think about it after he is gone, there is no reason to leave with him.”

Becky pulled away and moved to the dresser plopping jewelry into a travel jewelry box avoiding Leona’s eyes. “There is a reason,” she said quietly untangling a necklace from the pile, “I’m pregnant.”

Leona felt her world shift as Becky’s words sunk in. She stuttered over what to say watching Becky in the early afternoon sunlight drifting in the window. Becky looked back at her and caught her eyes as she clipped her favorite locket around her neck. The shinny surface glinted in the sunlight and Leona felt the tears cursing down her face as she caught the sadness in the eyes that mirrored her own.

“Becky,” she cried giving her a hug, “we can figure this out together, please promise me you won’t go today. Promise me you’ll let me help you.”

For a moment the only sound in the room was Leona’s sniffles and the chirp of birds outside the window. Becky seemed to consider it before she sighed and hugged her back.”Alright I’ll think about it.” She finally muttered as she gave her a last squeeze and let her go.

Leona wiped her eyes and gave her a questioning look surprised at her easy acquiescence thinking that this was not like Becky at all. “Really?” Leona asked as she pulled away.

“Yeah I promise.” She said as she turned away fingering the zipper on the suitcase.
Leona smiled as she rubbed Becky’s arm. She plastered her face with the brightest smile that she could imagine and gave it a reassuring squeeze, trying to squash the feeling of dread inside her. She looked her in the eye and told her that it would all be all right. Becky kept her eyes down and focused on her feet replying in a neutral voice that she was sure that it would be. Leona looked at her quizzically as the hopelessness that filled Becky’s words swept over her. Becky had always been better at making others believe what they wanted to and Leona studied her trying to decipher what she was feeling. She turned toward Becky intent on coming back into the room. Catching her eye Becky felt a moment of panic. She stood up straight and gave Leona a wry half smile adjusting the loose flower above Leona’s ear. She shoved her toward the door praying that she would not come back into the room.

” You’re not coming are you” Leona asked suspiciously “Mom and Dad will be heartbroken.”

Becky sighed and picked the flower up off the floor twirling it in her hands. She stroked the blue petals and seemed to make a decision. She looked up at Leona with a crooked smile and tucked the flower behind her own ear turning to let Leona see it. She widened her grin as she bit back a sigh and assured Leona that even though she wasn’t as girly as her that she would only need a few minutes to get ready.

“Promise?” Leona asked still suspicious.

“Cross my heart.” Becky said with a guarded smile as she crossed her fingers over her heart in a gesture that Leona knew well from childhood. It had always been their secret promise as kids; and Leona felt a little relieved as she saw it. Becky assured her that she would see her there and swatted Leona, pushing her toward the door again.

Leona went but couldn’t help feeling a small trickle of unease sneaking up her spine. She smiled back anyway as she stepped back through the door. She grabbed her robe off the hook in the bathroom and wagged it at Becky with a grin, “don’t forget yours, she admonished gently “I’ll see you there.”

The conclusion of the speech washed over Leona jerking her back to reality and the seat beside her remained empty. She wanted to kick herself for leaving Becky but there was always a part of her that wanted to believe anything Becky said, even when she lied. She ran her hands nervously over her gown-covered legs trying to dry them and felt the crinkle of paper inside the pocket. Her heart fell when she unfolded the note and began to read. Tears splattered the paper as she read her sister’s words.


Leona,
I know you will find this after I am gone but you have to understand that no matter what you say I have to live my own life my own way. I love Jay and we are going to have a baby now and I have to give it a chance. I know you think I’m throwing my life away but Jay has promised that things will be different and I believe him. I’m sorry for lying to you and mom and dad but it is better this way. With mom being sick I don’t want to worry her anymore. I’ve left them a letter at home. I’ll contact you when I can.
Love Becky

The roar of the crowd brought her out of her reprieve and she stood clutching the note in her hand. She avoided her mother’s eyes and wondered when or if she would see Becky again. She wiped her eyes in a futile effort to stop the tears as she took off her cap holding it in trembling hands. Tears spilled down her cheeks anyway as she clasped the note and threw the cap into the air watching it catch the late afternoon sun as it merged with the others soaring skyward.
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Sometimes people make choices that affect every one in their path, and sometimes they just don’t care enough about themselves to try and make a change. Leona flashed a smile she was far from feeling at her niece who was still playing in the yard, as she thought that sometimes it was up to those closest to them to protect them, even if they don’t want it.

The air inside the hospital room had been stuffy at best. The hiss and beep of the monitors made Leona’s already strained nerves jerk tighter. She crept toward the bed slipping through the shadows of the room not wanting to disturb the woman lying on the bed.

Some sound alerted the still figure lying there and vivid blue eyes swung to meet her own. Leona gulped back the fear that slithered down her spine as she took in the face staring back at her. She walked to the bed and dropped her Coach purse with a thump on the cracked linoleum floor pulling a sad looking plaid chair up beside it. The fabric, which had seen better days, groaned in protest as she sat down on it. Leona brushed the hair back off the sweaty forehead and sighed as she took her sister in.

“Hey sis,” she said quietly as she stoked her hair, “I’m sorry I wasn’t here sooner.”

Becky’s smile peeked out from her swollen face making Leona’s heart lurch. She gripped Becky’s hand fighting to keep her panic to herself. She had never been good at putting her feelings aside and now she knew she was failing miserably. She was terrified for her sister and she knew that Becky could see it clearly written on her face.

“No problem” she mumbled with effort, groaning as she arched her body turning in bed to face her, “sorry to interrupt the rehearsal.” “I should have been there.”

Leona gulped back the urge to laugh hysterically as she gripped her sister’s hand tighter. She felt like Becky was slipping away and there was nothing she could do about it. This was the first time she’d seen her since graduation four months before and she’d spent the past months worried sick about her despite the surprise and joy of Jerod’s proposal right after graduation. Her worst fears had been confirmed when she’d received the call on her cell phone asking her to come to the hospital, her sister was far from fine.

“Don’t be stupid”, she gasped as she rubbed Becky’s hand against her cheek, “I’m just glad to see you; I’m just sorry it had to be like this.”

Becky had nothing to say to that. She closed her eyes, sighing deeply. She knew that she was ruining her sister’s wedding rehearsal but she had needed someone and when she had awoken in the hospital she had been terrified. She had found herself giving the number to the nurse praying that Leona would be willing to come, that she might forgive her someday for ruining everything.

“Becky, how bad is it?” Leona asked quietly, “The doctor’s wouldn’t tell me much.” “What about the baby, is everything, okay?”

Becky’s hand stroked her stomach, caressing the slight bump resting there underneath the floral pattern of the hospital gown. She pried her eyes open and met Leona’s worried gaze, licking dry lips before answering. “A broken rib, and some bruises” she muttered quietly “but the baby’s fine; they say she’s a fighter.”

Leona sighed in relief before her sisters words sunk in. She felt her heart turn over as she gripped Becky’s hand, thankful in one second that it was not more serious and excited in the next at the news that her sister’s little girl was fine. She ran her hands over her sister’s brow and tried for a smile, knowing that it failed to reach her eyes.

Becky sighed at that look and knew that more questions would be quickly coming. She wondered if she could feign sleep and then decided it was too late for that when the questions began. Becky cringed at them but kept with her story that it had all been an accident; after all it was possible that she had simply slipped on the rain slick apartment steps. She tried to keep her answers short and vague, knowing that they would not keep Leona at bay for long.

“So you slipped on the steps?” Leona asked disbelievingly, “Are you sure Jay did not have anything to do with this?”

Becky felt irritation well up inside her as she pulled her hand away and struggled to set up. “I told you, I fell,” she muttered again gasping as her bruised face and body protested at the action.

Leona felt the same sick feeling creeping over her as she caught the way Becky wouldn’t meet her eyes directly. She knew that she was lying. “How can you protect him?” She demanded grabbing Becky’s hand again, “He could have killed you or the baby; you can’t let your loser boyfriend keep hitting you”

Becky felt the room spin and felt almost too tired for it all. “He’s not my boyfriend,” she murmured as she stared into Leona’s eyes, “He’s my husband; we got married right after we left town.”

Leona felt her chest tighten as Becky’s pronouncement drifted over her. Becky‘s words shattered the silence and Leona’s world as she realized what this meant for her beloved twin.

“No,” Leona gasped as the air in the room seemed to disappear, “tell me you’re not serious; how could you have married that animal.”

“Leona please,” Becky sighed out, “This is why I didn’t call mom, I don’t need to be judged, I just need you to be my sister right now.” “Can you do that?” she asked pinning Leona to the chair with her eyes.

Leona opened her mouth to protest but saw the determination and the pleading in the eyes peering out from Becky’s black and blue face. She snapped her mouth shut and sat on the edge with a whisper of cotton not caring about her rehearsal dress. She slipped her arms around Becky’s shoulders and leaned her head against Becky’s with a sigh, not ready to give up but able to let it rest for the moment. She tucked her hair behind her ear and wished that she could take away all her problems but knew that time was long over.

”For now” she whispered as she hugged her tighter afraid of what was going to happen next.
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She had reason to be afraid she mused now as she tucked her hair behind her ear and thought about how stubborn Becky had always been and how she had never seemed to know when enough was enough, she had never seemed to know when to ask for help and when to accept it.

Leona’s wedding day began as many do, with worry, stress and anticipation. The crush of the crowd seemed overwhelming and made Leona sweat as she was buttoned into her dress. The rows of buttons marched up her back connecting the satin, creating a military straight line down her spine which felt almost as stiff as she did. Her eyes constantly drifted to the corner where Becky sat, trying to stay out of the way, avoiding her eyes and everyone else’s notice as much as possible. The wedding had been delayed by Becky’s hospital stay for two weeks. Becky had protested, crying through black and blue eyes that she would not ruin Leona’s big day. Leona had raised an eyebrow and with a quick look at Jared had confirmed that there would be no argument. Becky had given in for once with a resolute sigh, staring out into the bright beauty of what should have been Leona’s wedding day.

Now the excited whisper of the crowd drifted in the partially open oak door of the back room of the church as Leona’s veil was slipped into place. The antique pearl tiara slipped into place against her bright hair, resting there as if it had been made for her. The Dresden lace veil that had been her mother’s shielded her face allowing her some privacy. Her eyes drifted over to Becky and caught her glance. She smiled and gave her a thumbs up sign trying to be brave, but somewhere inside she felt the tension and worry beginning to creep in as her sister repeatedly glanced out the window. Leona felt her body tense up as her sister’s eyes drifted over the cars pulling into the lot as if she was looking for someone and Leona had a sick feeling that she knew who.

The day after she had receive the call and found Becky beaten black and blue in the hospital Jay had began to make a nescience of himself. He’d begun trying to see Becky but had been sent away by family and then hospital security. His blood shot eyes and clenched fists terrified Leona more than anything and she had resolutely blocked his entrance into the room where Becky lay. The calls had started when he had been denied entrance, rambling and pitiful voicemails left on Becky’s phone begging for forgiveness. Becky had promised she would not go back to him but Leona had a suspicion that she was taking his calls anyway, despite the fact that he had almost killed her.

“Becky, she hissed tensely when her mother and aunt turned away to attend to a last minute floral problem, who are you looking for?”

Becky smiled sadly as she ran her hand over the slight bulge of her abdomen. “No one, she sighed, “Just looking at the stragglers coming in.”

Leona walked over to where she sat beside the window and plopped down in the chair next to her knowing her mother was probably cringing at the thought of her wrinkled dress but not really caring. The chair creaked and protested but held anyway as Leona leaned forward. “You’re looking for him aren’t you?” “How can you even care if you ever see him again, he almost killed you and the baby.” She darted her eyes to where her mother stood praying that she would not hear the conversation. Their mother turned toward them and the gauntness that had overtaken her in a few short months was made all the more apparent by the large circles under her eyes and the dramatic weight loss which made her a shadow of her former self. The cancer had come back with a vengeance after Becky had left and to now it seemed as if all the fight had gone out of her. Leona saw her light fading a little more each day and she feared that one day soon that light would snuff out altogether. She smiled at her and turned back to Becky catching her eyes.

Becky smiled sadly and remained silent. Leona took her hand and squeezed it forcing her to meet her eyes. Becky looked down at their linked hands and slowly pulled away as if she were resigning herself to her fate. “Things aren’t always as cut and dried as they seem.” She said with a sigh as she looked away from Leona’s searching eyes.

Leona jerked back as panic closed over her. She knew that look in Becky’s eyes and felt herself go numb as Becky’s eyes skidded away from hers. “What do you mean, things aren’t always as cut and dried as they seem” she whispered fiercely, “he nearly killed you, how much more clear do they need to be before you will stay away from him.”

“He didn’t mean it.” She muttered sullenly looking out the window again. “It was an accident.”

Leona stared at her incredulously not quite believing that her intelligent, beautiful sister had gotten sucked back in again. “Becky, how can you say that,” she pleaded in a low whisper “he’s been not meaning it and you have been having accidents as long as you have known him, listen to me for once in your life, if he put you in the hospital before, he will do it again or maybe worse” “You’re not safe, Please for both of your sakes think about this.”

Becky felt her temperature rise as she tightened her jaw and looked back out the window. She was sick and tired of everyone telling her what she should do. She knew enough to know that there was a chance he might do it again but she was pregnant and she did still love him and Becky was tired of Leona always mothering her, she was old enough to make her own decisions. “I have thought about this,” she said firmly looking into Leona’s eyes, “I think he really is sorry and will never do this again.”

“Becky don’t be stupid or next time one or both of you might end up dead.”

“That’s not going to happen, he loves me, he loves us,” Becky hissed curling a hand around the bump on her middle. She moved closer to Leona as their mother looked up and smiled a tired smile at them. She smiled back at her and turned back to Leona pretending to smooth a wrinkle in her gown.
“He only loves himself,” Leona hissed as she grabbed for her hand again “he doesn’t care who he hurts.”
“What do you know about anything anyway ms. perfect,” Becky gasped as her temper boiled over. Underneath it all, in those places she hid even from herself she was scared, and that made her even angrier, made her want to lash out. She pulled out of her reach and stepped back,” you picked the one man to marry who would never oppose you in any way, god it makes me sick sometimes, he’s like a lapdog.” Becky cringed inside as she saw the hurt sweep over Leona’s face but something inside her wouldn’t let her stop. “Who asked you for your opinion anyway?”

Leona jerked back as if she’d been slapped, not sure what to say. Her head was reeling and she felt her eyes fill with tears. She sucked in air through her teeth and pushed the pain aside knowing that she had to try to reach Becky. “Please think this through,” she begged quietly as she found her voice. “Please” she hissed as their mother approached them carrying her bouquet, “I’m afraid for you.” Becky stayed silent as their mother handed Leona her bouquet. Leona took it in shaking hands as her mother helped her to her feet and straightened her dress. Becky stared at her and turned to leave the room. “Leave it alone” she mouthed as she caught Leona’s eyes from the doorway. She straightened her shoulders and walked out the door leaving Leona behind her.

“Everything okay honey?” her mom asked as she pressed the bunch of lilies and white roses into her hands. Leona shook her head clearing it, finding herself praying for the first time in a long time. She fingered the silky stems and sucked in a breath, “Everything’s great.” She lied brightly as she plastered a smile on her face and patted her mother’s hand praying she was right.

After the ceremony she looked for Becky but was unable to find her. She rushed out into the heat of the parking lot and felt her heart plummet as she saw the taillights of Jay’s truck pulling out of the parking lot with Becky riding shotgun. The cloud of dust kicked up and washed over her causing her to cough and choke and for a moment she did not feel the tears washing down her cheeks. The touch of a hand on her shoulder had her turning to meet Jarod’s gaze. He pulled her close wrapping his arms around her and she snuggled against his neck and let the tears flow, wondering if she would ever see Becky again and knowing there was nothing more she could do to help her.

************************************************************************
Time seemed to flow by faster than she had liked and she had rarely seen her sister after that, Even the death of their beloved mother had not been enough to bring her home for any length of time. Leona had instead found herself picking Becky up at the police station or taking her and Angela in when the abuse had forced her sister to come running. She sighed as she remembered all the times she had begged her to not go back to him and all the times she had spent wondering if this would be the night she would get the call that he had finally killed them. She shivered in the warm summer sun as she remembered the wintery night the call had finally come that had changed everything.

The wind had whipped past the door jingling the Santa wind chimes outside and had Leona snuggled closer to her husband searching for sleep. Sleep again proved elusive as the music of the old house chimed in the wintery darkness. She listened to the whispers of the house wondering where her sister Becky was, wishing the nervous tension she felt would fade. The old house groaned and wheezed under the weight of secrets it seemed to know but refused to tell, as she tossed on the cotton floral sheets. She willed her eyes to close but they remained glued to the ceiling.

“Go to sleep,” a voice grumbled from beneath mountains of blankets and quilts, “There’s nothing you can do to help her if she won’t let you.” The blankets rustled and rippled as he turned to face her, his blue eyes shining in the darkness, “you don’t even know where she is; maybe she’s fine.”

Leona’s hand raked through her hair as she sat up, further tangling the riot of blonde curls streaming down her back. The shadows of the trees danced in the wind rapping on the window in the predawn darkness. Leona shivered as the skeletal tapping sent a chill skating down her spine. She sighed and wrapped trembling arms around her knees resting her head on the quilt her mother had made her for her wedding.

” I don’t think she’s fine” she said slowly, her voice sounding tinny even to her own ears. Breathing deeply, she inhaled the perfume her mother always wore; Loves Baby Soft, which clung to the fabric even now five years later. She missed her so much sometimes. She shook her head to clear it and groaned as a throbbing headache began to blossom between her eyes.

“I just wish Becky would let me help her.” Leona whispered rubbing the bridge of her nose, sniffling as she tried to clear her head.

Jerod wrapped an arm around her pulling her close. “As long as she’s been with him he’s been like this.” “Talking to her doesn’t help, maybe she doesn’t want help,” he said quietly,” Sometimes people can’t admit there is a problem.”

“Some people are afraid to,” Leona protested as she stared at him in the darkness, “It drives me crazy not knowing where she is.”

Jerod held up his hands in a helpless gesture and squeezed her against him, wishing he knew how to fix this for her.

“I don’t know sweetheart” he soothed, quietly rubbing her arm as Leona snuggled against him. She inhaled, breathing in the comforting smell of Old Spice that clung to him. She laid her head against his chest in the darkness and scanned the room, as if she would find the answers hiding behind the old rocking chair in their room. Leona’s mind drifted to Becky and she thought about how different their lives had become. They had been the best of friends as children but somehow they had lost each other as they had grown into adulthood.

Leona listened to the wind whistling outside and shivered as chills raced up her spine. She snuggled further under the blankets trying to get warm yet she seemed unable to escape the chills inside her.

“I wish she had never met him, he never deserved her.” She said through gritted teeth as she began to pick at her light pink nails. In the muted glow from the outside security light she noticed that they were nearly picked down to the quick. Jerod covered her hand with his to stop her busy hands and gave her another squeeze.

“I guess he didn’t,” he said quietly in her ear, “but you can’t make people’s choices for them.”

“Especially not Becky” Leona smiled sadly. She shook her head as she thought about how Becky had always had that spark that had drawn everyone to her and had made her life seem easy, at least until she had found herself trapped in an abusive relationship. “I wish I could protect her somehow.”

“Sweetheart, some people won’t let you protect them.”

Leona shook her head and thought about how true that was. She had tried to warn her about Jay but as always she had refused to listen. Over the years the rift between them had grown. Leona had last heard from Becky at Halloween and now two days till Christmas she feared for her sister and nieces safety. Usually calls came every few weeks or so but almost two months of silence set her nerves on edge. Leona rubbed her eyes and watched the shadows slide across the cream wallpaper cringing at the waves of nausea sliding over her. She looked wonderingly at the shadows as they turned from the filmy gray of predawn to strobe like blue and red. Leona’s eyes flew to Jerods as she felt her heart sink.

Dread overwhelmed her as she slid off the bed and put on her bunny slippers. She flew down the stairs with Jerod behind her. She slid on the hand-woven rug on the floor but managed to reach the door just as the first knocks resounded through the house. She pulled the door open and had stared with dread into the face of the town’s deputy sheriff.
Her eyes went to the blanket wrapped bundle he held and she saw her niece’s small face peering out at her from the folds. Leona opened her arms and took Angela, opening the door wide motioning the sheriff inside.

She clutched the small body against her as the deputy told her that they had found her niece walking along the highway 40 minutes ago by herself. Leona’s throat locked up and she felt vomit pushing at the blockage as she took it all in.

“Have you found them yet?” she asked hesitantly trying to watch what she was saying for Angela’s sake. “Is there any news?”

“No luck yet,” the deputy stated sadly looking down at the brim of his hat as he ran his hands over its surface trying to avoid her eyes. Deputy Jim Thomas had gone to high school with Leona and Becky and he had always liked them both. He was just not sure how to deliver news like this. “We’ve checked the house and it’s empty,” he said gruffly looking up at last. He hesitated as he caught the penetrating blue orbs of Angela’s eyes staring at him from her cocoon on Leona’s lap before continuing,” but it looks like there’s been a struggle, we will keep looking.”

Leona felt numb as she nodded and began to rock Angela in her arms. “Was Angela able to tell you anything?” she asked quietly, her voice seeming to belong to someone else.

He cleared his throat and looked down at his hat again before answering, “She hasn’t said a word since we found her Lee.”

Leona pulled back and looked into Angela’s deep blue eyes. What she saw there terrified her. There was an emptiness there that she had seen often over the years on Becky’s face and she shook her gently needing to reach her. “Angie honey,” she spoke softly “Where’s mommy and daddy?” “Can you tell Aunt Lee what happened?” The little girl whimpered and buried her face in Leona’s neck and began to shake. Leona looked up into Jerod’s eyes as her feeling of unease rose in her throat threatening to choke her.

They thanked the deputy and Jerod saw him out as she rocked Angela. She clutched her tightly wondering what had happened and how she could help Angela, she hoped she could still help Becky.
************************************************************************
Leona shivered despite the heat of the day remembering that sometimes you do things to protect those you love that you would never expect or regret, no matter how they change you.

The house had been asleep the following night as Leona sat Indian style in the living room looking out at the darkness. She had her back propped against her mother’s ancient paisley print recliner beside the fireplace and Angela slept on her bratz sleeping bag on the floor tucked up against her. Her small hand snuck out of the sleeping bag clutching Leona’s in the darkness refusing to let go, even in sleep. The crackle and hiss of the fire made Leona’s already stretched nerves fray even further as she stroked the fair hair back from Angela’s forehead and thought how much she looked like Becky. She sighed as she picked up the phone checking to make sure she had not missed any calls. The phone showed no new messages and Leona sighed trying to quell the fear that had lived in her throat since the police had brought Angela to her last night. They had not found Becky or Jay and everyone was still out looking despite the weather and the fact that tomorrow was Christmas Eve. The local news station had the story of the search on every newscast and with every hour that passed Leona was more and more afraid that Becky was not coming home.

Leona wiped a tear from her eye as she pulled the blanket more securely around her legs and prayed for the millionth time that they would hear something. Jerod was out now with the search party trudging through the snow looking for them. Leona hated waiting, felt like there was something more she had to do but wasn’t sure what it was. Events from the last six years rolled through her mind and Leona wondered if there was anything else she could have done to stop this but no matter how she looked at it she knew inside that she could not have stopped this from happening.

The ringing of the phone startled Leona, breaking the silence, and she hit talk before it could wake Angela.

“Hello” she said into the phone clutching it to her ear praying that this call would be good news.

“Lee, “a hesitant voice whispered, “Please help me.”

Leona felt her throat close up as she heard Becky’s whispered words. She felt panic rising inside her and found herself unable to speak for a moment.

“Lee,” Becky whispered again, “are you there, please god” she sobbed, “still be there.”

“Becky, I’m here,” Leona whispered back as relief and terror washed over her, “where are you?”

“Lee please come and get me, I... I’m hurt really bad, please help me.”

Leona closed her eyes as Becky told her where she was. She bundled Angela up in a blanket and left her with a neighbor, as she was unable to get through to Jerod. She gunned the engine of her Suburban and sped out onto the nearly impassible roads as the snow began to fall harder. She tried again to call Jerod or the police but was unable to get through due to the downed phone lines. She slammed the phone down and sped toward her sister.

She arrived at Jay’s parent’s home and noticed the door hanging open. She pushed it open and walked into the darkness cursing herself for not bringing a flashlight. She flipped her cell phone open and guided herself by its light. The small glow of the light illuminated a small area in front of her and made the darkness seem all the more dismal in the old house. The floors groaned under her weight as she crept through the darkness making her cringe with every step. She saw her breath in the glow of the cell phone and shivered as she whispered Becky’s name. The silence that met her call chilled her to the bone. She stumbled in the darkness as her foot caught on something and she fell to her knees with a thump connecting with the hardwood floor. Pain rocked through her and she gasped as she ran her cell phone light over the floor to see what she had stumbled on. Her light flowed over a body lying in the darkness. She scooted back as she registered Jay’s dark hair in the pool of light. His head was tilted at an odd angle that made Leona feel sick. She leaned toward him, her hand moving hesitantly towards his neck to see if he was breathing. She stopped cold when she heard a whimper from the darkness behind her. She backed away and ran her cell phone light toward the sound and found herself looking into her sister’s eyes.

She scooted over running her hands over her sister’s face. Becky breathed in hesitantly, her breath rattling around in her chest like rocks in a polisher. Leona felt tears running down her face as she took in the swollen and distorted face covered in bruises and blood. Her blonde hair had been pulled out in places and her arm hung at a sickening angle that left Leona in not doubt that it was badly broken. “Becky” she whispered, “My god how long have you been here? “Can you move?”

Becky smiled weakly, only one side of her mouth going up. “Been here since yesterday” she whispered as the breath rattled again in her chest. “Is Angela okay?”She asked frantically searching Leona’s eyes. “I had to get her out but wasn’t sure if she made it.” “Jay was so mad when he found out I’d slipped her out of the car, I was so afraid he would find her.” Leona nodded her head stroking her hair, “She’s fine honey I have her.” But can you move?”

Becky shook her head uncertainly,” I can’t feel my left leg Lee, it hurts so bad, please god, help me.” “Was finally able to get through on my phone, so glad I was able to get you, sorry to drag you into this.” She began to cry, her sobs dry and small as she struggled to breathe. Leona pulled head into her lap and stoked her hair looking over to where Jay lay.

“Becky is Jay dead?” she asked quietly almost afraid of the answer.

Becky sucked in a rattling breath as her eyes moved over to where he lay. “I wish he was, she wheezed, “he’s drunk.” Leona sighed as she surveyed her brother in law laying in the darkness. He lay so still she was tempted to check him but jerked back when Becky grabbed her hand. “Lee,” Becky said wildly “we have to get out of here, he could wake up any time.” She clutched Leona’s hand frantically trying to move.

“Becky lay still” Leona hissed pushing her down “I have to try and call for help.” She reached for her phone and began to try and dial. Becky pushed the phone closed again and gripped her arm. “Leona please, she begged, “Just get me out of here, you have to get me away from here or he will kill me this time, please don’t let me be here when he wakes up.”

The panic in her voice reached Leona and she wondered what to do, Becky was obviously to hurt to move far but she had to admit she was worried about what would happen if Jay woke up and caught them here. She picked up her phone and found no signal again. She made her decision and gripping Becky under the arms she pulled her to her feet. Becky screamed as pain ripped through her and Leona almost fell to the floor under their combined weight. Leona hoisted her up and began to pull them toward the door groaning with each step. Becky’s left leg dragged behind them pulling them down. Leona groaned and stumbled gasping as she felt the room swim as they almost crashed to the floor. The sound of their breathing echoed in the darkness as they slowly moved toward the door. Leona gasped in gratitude as the door came into view, grateful that they were almost there, grateful that their luck had held out.

A voice slithered out of the darkness stopping them both in their tracks. “Leave the bitch here,” it hissed sounding evil, angry and closer than Leona would have liked, “She belongs to me.”

Leona turned with a shiver as the voice hissed along her neck. She gripped Becky and tried to scoot toward the door slowly. She met Jay’s eyes and felt dread claw its way up her spine as his bloodshot eyes met hers. He smiled slowly, his lip curling up with a smug smile as he looked at them slowly pushing himself to his feet. Leona pushed Becky behind her, propping her against the wall by the door, praying she would be able to stay upright. “Get the hell away from her”, Leona hissed, “I’m taking her home.”

“You think you can protect her little Lee?” he asked with a snarl as he weaved toward them. “You think I wouldn’t take care of you to get to her?” He laughed and came closer. “You are nothing” he sneered with a laugh “she stays here.” He reached behind Leona and grabbed Becky’s broken arm-twisting it and yanked. Becky screamed as they struggled. Leone scratched his arm finally pushing him away, standing in front of Becky blocking his path as she struggled to keep her upright against the wall. He smiled as he rubbed the red welts of the scratches on his arm. He looked at Leona with a sick smile, almost as if he were happy she’d scratched him. You shouldn’t have done that” he hissed seconds before his fist connected with her face. Leona’s head spun and the punch threw them both to the floor. Jay smiled and drew back his foot kicking Becky in the ribs.

Becky screamed and coughed spitting blood on the floor. Leona’s eyes met hers from where she lay on the floor and the lifelessness in Becky’s gaze terrified her more than anything else. Leona’s jaw screamed as pain flashed up her cheek to her eye and she grabbed her jaw trying to make it stop. Jay grabbed Leona by the hair and yanked her to a sitting position. He slapped and punched her causing her head to spin. “You don’t try to take what is mine, you bitch.” He hissed between punches, “I’ll make you sorry you did,” he laughed to himself as if he’d made a great joke and punched again hearing something snap, “ I’ll make you both sorry.”
Leona’s head lulled to the side and met Becky’s eyes across the room and in that moment she knew she had failed them both. Time seemed to stand still as she realized that Jay was going to kill them both.

Jay raised his fist again and sneered down at Leona, “you are all alike; you all need to be taught a lesson.” He smiled again as his fist rushed toward her. Leona closed her eyes waiting for the blow to come but opened them when a sickening crack split the silence and he let her go. His eyes rolled back in his head as he slumped to the floor. Leona hit the floor, her knees cracking the old hardwood floor as she slumped over. Her eyes met Becky’s where she swayed on her feet over Jay’s body. She dropped the firewood to the floor and crashed down beside Leona. “Couldn’t let him hurt you.” She sighed, still coughing blood, as Leona reached for her hand and found it in the darkness. They both lay on the floor breathing loudly as Leona reached for her cell phone with the other hand, praying it would work this time. She breathed a sigh of relief as it connected and she heard the 911 dispatcher on the line.

“We need help,” she whispered into the mouthpiece as she looked into Becky’s eyes and squeezed her hand in the darkness.

Leona shook her head as a gentle touch brought her back to the present. She looked up and smiled at Becky. Beck smiled back and made her way down the porch steps limping slowly, cringing with each step. Leona and Becky had been in the hospital for two weeks, Leona with a broken jaw and a ruptured retina, and Becky with multiple broken bones and a collapsed lung among other bruises and wounds. Becky would never walk without a limp again. Jay had been killed by the blow to the head and would never bother anyone again. Becky and Angela now lived next door and were slowly healing from their wounds. Leona smiled as Becky lowered herself to the step beside her and squeezed her hand. Leona smiled and rubbed her hand along the burgeoning mound of her belly as they watched Angela together for a moment in silence. The wind blew softly, drifting over them ruffling the lilac bush beside the steps carrying its fragrance on the breeze.
“I never told you thank you, you know” Becky said quietly as she watched her daughter’s golden hair bounce in the breeze, “You saved me.”
“You never had to” Leona stated simply as she squeezed her hand “we saved each other.” She met Becky’s eyes and smiled realizing in that moment that no matter what she would gladly do everything again. She would never regret anything she had done for her sister; she would never regret being her sister’s keeper.

Impressum

Tag der Veröffentlichung: 04.03.2012

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