Chapter 1.

Chapter 1.

 

“Stop, drop, shut 'em down, open up shop.

Ohhhhh, noooooo. That's how Ruff Ryders roll.”

The old school DMX jam pumped loudly from the speaker boxes. The bass was strong. The music was jumping.

“Niggas wanna try

Niggas wanna lie

Then niggas wonder why

Niggas wanna die

All I know is pain

All I feel is rain

How can I maintain

With mad shit on my brain?”

29-year-old Ava Hazel Sweeney bobbed her head to the music while swaying her hips to the left and the right. Her long silky jet black hair brushed against the top of her ass as she danced. She stood at the bar alone lip-syncing the entire song word for word and clapping her hands to the music.

“I resort to violence

My niggas move in silence

Like you don't know what our style is

New York niggas - the wildest”

Ava sipped on her cognac as she rapped the lyrics effortlessly. She hadn’t heard the song in ages and commended herself for remembering the words so well. While bobbing to the music, her eyes quickly scanned the 5000 square foot building which was dimly lit and filled to the max. It was 90’s night at Club Whiskeys and the place was packed from wall to wall. Immediately, her lips curved into a smile as she noticed everyone in the club singing along as well. The night was young. The crowd was mature. Couples littered the dance floor, dancing and gyrating on each other as the D.J switched the song to a Missy Elliot Joint.

“Is it worth it, let me work it

I put my thing down, flip it and reverse it

Ti esrever dna ti pilf nwod gniht ym tup”

Immediately, Ava threw her hands in the air and began to twirl her hips even more. “Yessssss! This is my song!” she shouted to herself over the music while dancing. She twirled her body seductively, noticing immediately several pairs of eyes watching her dance seductively. She smiled and shut her eyes, losing herself in the moment. Club Whiskeys was the place to be on a Thursday night. The music was jumping. The food was finger licking good. And the drinks were strong. The nightclub was large and spacious with a beautifully lit dance floor, an elevated VIP section and a decadent atmosphere with towering ceilings. Ava danced to the music, running her hands down her curvy waist which happened to look extra slim in the tight black dress she wore. Her flat tummy was exposed. Her smooth chocolate skin glistened underneath the club lights. Ava couldn’t help but look around the room noticing several men gawking at her. She smiled and continued to twirl her hips pretending she didn’t see them. Little did they know, the attention made her feel good. At almost 30, she still had not lost her spice.

“Aye Hazel! Hazel”

Ava could hear someone calling her by her middle name over the loud music. She looked to the right, noticing a young man leaning against the bar waving to get her attention. She stopped dancing and turned to the person waving her down. The man smiled from ear to ear, licking his lips as he made eye contact with her. She tilted her head to the side and scanned the familiar face watching her from across the bar. “What you want?” she asked in a sarcastic tone.

The man smiled, revealing a deep dimple in both cheeks. “Can I get my usual?” he asked while winking at her.

Ava couldn’t help but shake her head and laugh. He always showed up at the same time every Thursday night. 11 o’clock on the dot. She turned her back facing the opposite direction. “Hennessey and coke? No ice?” she asked over her shoulder, knowing exactly what he wanted.

The man laughed over the music. “You know me so well, Hazel. I really dig that.”

Ava laughed while rolling her eyes as she stood at the bar preparing to make his drink. She placed a glass on a coaster, filled it with half a can of coke and half a glass of Hennessey. She was careful not to make the drink too soft, knowing he liked his liquor strong. Learning her customers made bartending so much easier here at Club Whiskeys. Although this was not Ava’s ideal job, she was damn good at it and earned some pretty good tips. She had been working at the bar part time a little less than 6 months and quickly mastered the job as if it were easy. She turned back to him with a freshly made glass and placed it in front of him. “Here you go, Blake.” She called the man by his name and sat the glass down in front of him.

Blake nodded his head then slid a crispy $50-dollar bill across the table. “Keep the change.” He winked at her while sliding the money in her direction.

Ava eyes dropped down to the bill which still lay on the table. She sarcastically smacked her lips and shook her head. “Come on, Blake.” She challenged him in a sarcastic tone. “Why do you always overpay??? The tab is 10…” she tilted her head and stared at him sternly. In return, he clenched his jaw and stared back, obviously stuck with no answer. Ava had learned Blake’s tactics very well. He would show up at the bar every Thursday night, order the same drink, and pay up to 400% over his tab as if it would grab her attention. Little did he know, his money was not impressive. Ava worked hard for her own money. She watched Blake dejectedly shrugged his shoulders. He had been caught up in the middle of his own game. “Why do you treat me like that, Hazel?” he asked in an almost pleading tone. “What happened to us??? We used to be so close.” Blake eyed her intensely. Ava narrowed her eyes back at him. She was having a good time tonight and he was about to spoil the mood.

“What are you saying, Blake???” she asked with a slight attitude. “We are still friends… Maybe not like we used to be, but we are friends!” she hoped he would finally catch the hint. Things had changed over the years. 11 years to be exact. Ava wasn’t the same woman he had met a long time ago. She was a different person now. Blake shook his head, picking up on her persistence to brush him off.

“Not like we used to be.” He continued to talk to her over the music. He was adamant on getting his point across. “We were so close back in the days. Best friends forever??? Do you remember that????”

Ava couldn’t help but laugh. She burst into a chuckle as the word best friend slipped past his lips. She did remember. In fact, she remembered very well. Her mind could not help but reminisce. Blake Abel Weiss is his name. She could still recall the day they met 11 years ago. It was her freshman year of college at the University of North Carolina Wilmington. Although Blake and Ava both attended the same school and shared a lot of the same classes, they never crossed paths. The two were like night and day. He was an extremely handsome, athletic and witty law major. Blake was outgoing with a confident ambience that always floated around him. Ava on the other hand was a shy, quiet book worm. She majored in political science and didn’t have a lot of friends outside of the classroom. Instead of hanging with her peers or attending college dorm parties, she spent her spare time TV binge watching, studying for class and burying her face inside books. Ava would never forget the day Blake approached her inside the school library. She used to spend a lot of time there back then because it was conveniently located right across the street from her off campus apartment building. She sat at a reading table fishing through a stack of old cartoon drawings and comic books. Ava sat alone which was typical. She was so deeply indulged inside her novel, she didn’t see or hear Blake slyly approach from behind. He had appeared so suddenly, peeping his head over her shoulder asking her what she was reading. She jumped in her seat, his sudden voice startling her. Ava could still remember turning finally locking eyes with the handsome young man standing over her. He was extremely attractive. His skin was smooth and his teeth were pearly white. Marvel comics and Japanese anime was her answer. Surprisingly, Blake smiled from ear to ear. He did not run away like most. He knew about the comic very well which took Ava by complete shock.  Tokyo Godfathers and Grave of the fireflies were his favorites. Ava was surprised by his response. Very seldom did she meet anyone who shared the same interest as her and she was overall shocked by his knowledge of Japanese anime. Together, they sat at that reading table and talked for hours, discovering the two actually had a lot in common. Ava was impressed. Not only was Blake a good looking young fellow, he was intelligent with good conversation. From that moment on, they were like Bonnie and Clyde. Practically inseparable. Best friends forever. That was their vow. Ava laughed to herself as the old college memories came rushing back. Truth be told, times with Blake was good. Together, they practically ate, breathed and slept next to each other. Now years later, Ava understood exactly why his friends believed they were dating. Little did they know, they were wrong. She had never been romantically involved with Blake. They were strictly friends and that was it. Nothing more nothing less.

She looked up, narrowed her eyes and got straight to the point. “You know exactly why we aren’t close anymore Blake… You were my best friend… But you wanted more from me…. I couldn’t give you that…” she spoke solidly, telling what she had already told him before. In fact, she had repeated herself many times.

In return, Blake laughed at her while shaking his head. He knew where she was going with this. Secretly, his laughter gave her some sort of relief and she was glad he was making light of the situation. For years, Ava had a soft spot for him and had no desire to hurt his feelings. But she had to be honest. Blake’s attraction to her became too much to handle. To him, she was much more than just a best friend.

He looked her up and down scanning her from head to toe. “Damn, Hazel.” Blake smacked his lips while gazing at her as if she were irresistible. “You can’t expect to come around me looking that damn fine and think I’m not going to try and get at you!” he motioned towards her dress which fit her body extra tight. Ava couldn’t help but blush. For some reason Blake had a way of complimenting her, which made her blush every single damn time. Although she had become used to it now, back then his flattery made her uncomfortable. It started off innocent with a compliment here and there. Then the compliments turned into flowers. The flowers turned into dinner requests. The appropriates turned into inappropriates.  Blake was adamant on wining and dining her, doing everything underneath the sun to prove he was able and make her fall for him. But she never did. Instead, she ended the friendship after it all became too much. And now 11 years later, he still had given up. Blake still had hope.

Ava examined him on the sly. He gazed back at her intensely without breaking eye contact. For a second they had a staring game. She stared at him silently and began to wander… Ava had no idea why she never gave Blake a fair chance. She had run from him for so long and never given him an exact reason why. Blake was one of the most handsome men that she ever laid eyes on. Absolutely drop dead gorgeous. With caramel colored skin and full luscious lips, Blake had a baby face which was still masculine, strong and well structured. His skin was smooth. His hair was curly from the roots and neatly trimmed. Not only was he good looking, he was well established in his career. Blake was a top shot defense attorney with a guaranteed 6 figure salary plus commission. He was fine as hell and Ava never denied the fact that he was attractive. But emotionally, the connection was not there. Physically, her attraction was with someone else…

  “Alright then,” Blake interrupted her thoughts by throwing his hands up in the air in surrender. “You win. I guess.” Ava watched him collect his glass and stand to his feet. He smiled at her. He was disappointed, but thankfully he was not upset with her decisions. “Maybe one day you'll realize.” He spoke one last remark before winking at her.

Ava laughed and shook her head. She had heard that line from him before. But she was happy to see he was still understanding. She truly admired that about him.

Blake smiled at her one last time before turning on his heel, heading towards the dance floor and disappearing into the crowd.

“But she caught me on the counter (It wasn't me)

Saw me bangin' on the sofa (It wasn't me)

I even had her in the shower (It wasn't me)

She even caught me on camera (It wasn't me)”

The old school Shaggy track began to bump from the speakers.

“Ohhhhh yessssssssss!” Ava immediately got back into her groove as the D.J. switched the song. She began to move her hips again in a rhythmic motion dancing to the beat. Quickly, she forgot all about the conversation she had with Blake and lost herself in the music…

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 2.

Chapter 2.

 

“I swear I’m done with his no good, lying cheating ass! I want him out of my house and I want him out tonight!”

Ava cradled her cellphone in her right ear as she sat in the driver’s seat of her Toyota Avalon, which was still running and parked in her driveway. It was late as hell. A little after 3 in the morning. She had just arrived home and hadn’t gotten a chance to get out of the car yet prior to receiving a rather irate phone call. She sat parked listening to the woman’s voice ranting on the other end.

“Can you believe that bitch came to my job, Hazel?? Says she’s been fucking my husband for almost 6 months! And she said he gave her chlamydia!” The woman took no breaths as she spilled her guts on the other end.

“Damn…” was the only thing Ava could say. She shook her head while listening to her friend Jade Isabella Castaneda vent about her husband on the phone. One second she was shouting at the top of her lungs. Now she was on the other line sobbing and bawling her eyes out. “I can’t believe he would cheat on meeeeee Hazel! How could he doooo this?” Ava could hear the pain inside Jade’s devastating cries. She felt bad for her but at the same time, she had warned Jade about Theo years ago. Theodore Isaiah Atkinson was a player. An all-around pig. Ava had known Theo back in high school, and even back then he had a reputation. Those who knew him knew that man was no good. He was a cheater. A liar. Ava had been a good friend and gave Jade the heads up years before they got together, but he swindled her. She still married the fool anyways.

“You need to go to a doctor and get yourself checked out, Jade…” Ava spoke firmly knowing that was the last thing Jade wanted to hear. She hated playing the devil’s advocate, but Ava cared about her friend’s health and her overall wellbeing. Jade continued to lightly sob on the other line. “I know…” she sputtered in between her cries. “I’m going to kill him! I’m going to fucking kill him!”

Ava shook her head. She knew her friend well, and once Jade became upset, there was no calming her down. “No you’re not." she stopped her before she could go any further. "Get some rest. Call a locksmith first thing in the morning and change the locks.”

Jade sniffled on the other line. “Okay.” She answered quietly. “I can’t believe this Hazel. Why me??? Why couldn’t I have a relationship like yours??? Desean would never do this to you…”

Suddenly, a smile curved across Ava’s lips. Her thoughts immediately drifted. Although, this was not the appropriate time to unknowingly crack a smile, she couldn’t help but think about him after hearing Jade mention his name. She shuddered, pushing those thoughts into the back of her mind as she continued to console her friend. “I will call you tomorrow, Jade. I will be over to help you with whatever you need, okay?”

In return, she sniffled into the phone. “Okay girl, I love you…”

Ava smiled. “I love you too, girl.” They both said their goodbyes and disconnected the line. Quickly, Ava hung up the phone and shut off the engine. She glanced at the clock on her dashboard. 3:24 a.m. Shit. She never arrived home this late but it took a little longer than usual shutting down the bar at the club. She pushed open the door and stepped out into the calm breeze of the night. Her neighborhood was quite as usual. Ava breathed in the fresh air and shut her car door behind her. She peered up at her 1 story, 4 bedroom 2-bathroom house in awe. Her dream home. Built in 1997, the house was somewhat still modern, brown bricked and had been exquisitely renovated from the inside to the out. Everything was almost brand new. Ava absolutely adored the large white shutters and the large wrap around walk way that led to the front door which was lightened by several LED white lights. The grass was green and well maintained. The garden was up to date and the plants were green. The house was perfect. Everything she had dreamed and worked so hard for. Her escape. Her peace of mind.

While clutching her hand bag by her side, Ava trailed up the walkway towards the front door. She still wore a smile on her face as she approached the lock, placed the key inside and pushed open the door. She stepped into the foyer and Ava quietly shut the door behind her. The aroma of vanilla and apple cinnamon immediately floated through her nostrils as soon as she stepped inside. She shuddered and kicked her shoes off at the door. Vanilla and cinnamon had always been two of her favorite scents and she made sure to keep the house smelling good just the way she liked it. Ava placed her key on the key holder by the door and proceeded towards the living room. The house was still, quiet and darkly shaded. She stepped forward.

“Babeeeeee….” Ava called out while tiptoeing barefoot in the living room. She smiled from ear to ear as she walked through. “Babeeeeee….” Ava called out again. No answer. She continued to smile, loving it when he played these types of games. “Babeeeeee… I’m home.” She called down the hallway, broadcasting her arrival. Silence. The house was eerily quiet. Quieter than usual.

“Owwwww!”

Suddenly, Ava felt a strong grip tightly grab her wrist from behind. “Ahhhh!” she cried out in shock, the sudden grab taking her by complete shock. Quickly, she whipped her body around to face a tall figure standing directly behind her. The grip on her wrist was tight and strong. She could feel a pair of finger nails digging into her skin as the grip tightened. She looked up with widened eyes, staring at a pair of hazel brown pupils glaring at her in the midst of the darkness.

“Desean!” she finally managed to call out his name. Her jaw hung wide open. She looked up at the man’s 6-foot figure in shock. 30-year-old Desean Nathaniel McCarthy stood over her dressed in a tank top and pajama pants. Beads of sweat trickled down his brown skin as he glared down at her in anger.

“Where the fuck have you been???” He growled at her in a dark tone. “Do you know what time it is????”

Ava continued to stare at him with her jaw hung open. He stood close to her. She could smell the stench of alcohol on his breath. Shit, he’s been drinking. Again…

“Yes, I know what time it is!” she shouted back to him “I left the club late. What the fuck is your problem???!!!” Ava began to wiggle her arm in his embrace after quickly turning defensive. Desean continued to glare at her. His grip around her wrist tightened even more. “I don’t believe you, Ava!” he shouted at her. “I’m tired of you coming home whenever you want to like your single! Let me see your damn phone! I better not find out you’re talking to other guys!”

Her jaw dropped even wider. The look in his eyes was horrifying. “Are you fucking kidding me Desean???” she gasped in disbelief. He stared back at her without breaking his psychotic expression. Clearly, it was no joke. “If you’re not doing anything wrong, prove it!” he held out his other hand, expecting her to hand over her cellphone. She stared back at him with a stunned look on her face, noticing he still had not removed his grip from her around her wrist. “Hell no!” she shouted out at him.

In response, Desean’s expression quickly turned even darker. He wasted no time backing her into a wall, pressing her body against the mantel which was in the center of the living room. “No???” he repeated her. Quickly, he reached for her handbag which was still strapped over her shoulder.

“Nooooooo!” she attempted to fight him off but he was too strong. Immediately, he snatched open her purse and forcefully dug inside her pocketbook to retrieve her phone without her consent. She watched helplessly as he pulled it out and stepped back. His breathing was heavy. He swiped to unlock the screen and silently went through her call log, text messages and web searches. Ava was out of breath. Her chest weaved up and down as she watched him inspect her phone, completely violating her privacy. She couldn’t believe her eyes. Her body was shaking heavily. After a few moments went by, he looked back up at her. Surprisingly, his expression had softened. Slowly, he approached her. “I just wanted to see your phone…” he spoke calmly while handing it back to her. She stared at him in disbelief. He attempted to approach her, immediately she jumped back.

“Don’t come near me!” without thinking, she cocked her hand back and forcefully swung it in his direction, slapping him hard clear across the face.  CLAP! The slap thundered throughout the silence of the living room as the palm of her hand clearly connected with his face. “How dare you???!!!” she screamed at him. Slowly, Desean turned his head back to look at her while still holding his left cheek, completely shocked that she just slapped him. Ava didn’t wait for him to respond.  Immediately, she reached forward and snatched her phone out of his hand. Maneuvering around Desean, Ava ran away from him, across the room and down the hallway towards the master bedroom. She ran fast. Fast as if she were desperate to get away before he grabbed her again. Upon entering, she slammed the door shut behind her.

“Ahhhhh!” Ava finally cried out, letting out a piercing frustrating scream that she could no longer hold in. Forcefully, she punched the back of the door letting out all of her anger. “I can’t take this shit anymore!!! I can’t take it!!!” Ava kicked and flailed her arms around in midair while screaming to the top of her lungs. After all the promises! All of the lie!. It happened again…

Heading towards the king sized bed centered in the middle of the room, she plopped down on the foot of the mattress facing the bedroom mirror. Ava stared at her reflection, noticing just how flustered and winded she appeared. Initially, she had been so excited to come home and end her night with the man she absolutely adored. Quietly, she glanced down at her wrist, which was still tingling from where he grabbed her. Ava couldn’t hold it in anymore.

“Ahhhhhh!” Suddenly, she burst out into a loud bawling wail. Tears came rushing down her cheeks as she cried out. Her body was trembling. Her nerves had been completely shot. Immediately Ava began rocking back and forth feeling like a damn fool for crying. A weak imbecile for allowing herself to be treated this way after so long.   Lifting her head, she caught another glimpse of herself in the mirror. For a moment, Ava stared straight forward attempting to figure out who she really was and how she had allowed things to go this far.

Knock knock knock

“Ava…” she could hear his voice softly calling out to her behind the door. She did not answer. Instead she sobbed into the palm of her hands even harder.

Seconds later, the door slowly crept open. “Ava…” he called her name again through the partially cracked door. Hesitantly, she looked up at him with tear stained cheeks. Just seeing his face made her cry even harder. She didn’t know the person standing before her anymore. It felt as if she were staring at a stranger.

Desean opened the door and stepped into the bedroom. He walked slowly to where she sat on the bed, being careful not to get too close. His head was hung low. His shoulders were slumped. “Ava, I’m sorry…” he extended his arms and reached for her but she quickly snatched away.

“Don’t touch me, Desean!” she shouted back at him, ordering him to keep his distance. He halted in place and immediately backed away, obeying her commands. Desean’s expression was soft and remorseful. He dropped his head even lower. Ava could see the guilt written all over his handsomely structured face. She shuddered at the sight of him. Desean was so damn attractive. Too attractive to be so damn angry all the time. His skin was smooth as a baby’s bottom and dark brown like sweet milk chocolate. He had full luscious lips and gorgeous hazel brown eyes that practically hypnotized her since the day she met him. He was the perfect man on the outside. But on the inside, Desean had demons. Skeletons in his closet that he had yet to get rid of regardless how long Ava patiently waited.

“I’m sorry baby… I love you so much to the point that it makes me insecure. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” He looked down at her wrist while shaking his head. He cussed under his breath, knowing very well he fucked up once again. Ava wiped the tears that had reached the corner of her nose. She looked up at him in pure disappointment. “You been drinking, Desean.” Ava spoke almost below a whisper. She didn’t have the strength to raise her voice anymore. She continued in a calm voice.  “You told me you quit. You told me I would never have to come home to see you like this again… You lied to me Desean… AGAIN!” she quickly called him out on everything he had promised her. He looked away, obviously stumbling for an answer. Desean knew she was telling the truth. They had been here before. The memories immediately came rushing back.

 “I’m tired!” Ava exclaimed. “I’m tired of your relapses! I’m tired of lying to my friends about our relationship like we are the perfect couple! I’m tired of you treating me this way!”

Desean watched her closely. He was absorbing every word which ultimately didn’t matter at all. She had said it so many times. Now she felt like a broken record.  

Desean walked towards where she sat on the edge of the bed and kneeled down before her. “Ava…” he grabbed her hands. “Please look at me.” He pleaded. Ava flinched, a huge part of her wanting to snatch away. But she didn’t. She looked up at him. Desean continued.

“Baby, I’m sorry... I’m sorry I keep doing things I have to apologize for… I know you heard this before, but I hate to see you cry. It kills me on the inside…” he reached forward and brushed a tear away that fell down her cheek. She shuddered feeling his soothing touch against her skin. Desean consoling her made her want to cry out and scream at the same time. This was all she ever wanted. To be touched sensually and compassionately. She didn’t want to hurt.

 “I love you, Ava. More than I have loved any other woman. I promise you, I am going to change. If it’s the last thing I do… I’m going to be a better man to you… I never want to lose you baby…” he pleaded, begging her for her forgiveness. She stared back numbly listening to him plead. For a moment, his tone sounded sincere. But he had promised to do right so many times before. If only… If only I left in the beginning… If only I hadn’t given him a second chance… I should have never tried to make things work… I should have never fallen in love…. Ava had it bad. She was in love. head over heels in love with Desean Nathaniel McCarthy. No matter how much he hurt her on the inside… No matter how many times her heart told her to give up…

He stared at her with puppy dog eyes. Once upon a time, that look would have swept her off her feet. She had grown weak for that look so many times.  Ava clamped her eyes shut and mentally blocked the images before they could resurface.

"4 years….” she finally spoke up breaking her silence. Ava wiped the tears from her face then continued. "4 years and you're still doing the same shit you were doing when we first met. What makes this time different???" she asked, demanding a serious answer. Ava was sick of hearing the lies. Sick of dwelling inside a living fabrication.
Desean shook his head then stood to his feet. She followed him with her eyes as his 6-foot figure stood over her. He looked down staring her deep in the eyes while clenching his jaw. "Let me show you how serious I am." he spoke below a whisper in a deep seductive voice. She stared at him with a blank expression, wandering what his next move was going to be. They both gazed in silence, both trying to read each other’s minds. Ava smacked her lips. His expression was extremely mellow. She hated how handsome he was when he was calm. She wished he would stay this way all the time. 
Suddenly, the hairs on the back of her neck stood up as Ava felt his hands caress her thighs. She flinched, her entire body jumping on the bed. "Desean, don't..." she reached for his hand attempting to stop him before he went any further. He obeyed and drew his hand back. Desean gazed at her passionately with so much desire in his eyes.  "Please Ava..." he pleaded again as he kneeled before her. “I just want to make love to you... I want to show you how sorry I am." He gave her that look again. That look that instantly made her panties wet. Her heart weakened. Her stomach did flip flops. Ava tried to fight the desire but she could not ignore the tingling sensation in-between her legs. Desean had this undeniable effect on her. Almost as if she were under his spell and completely hypnotized by his toxic love. Slowly and cautiously, Desean continued to try his luck and lean in for her kiss. Her body was frozen. She sat on the edge of the bed still as a rock as his lips lightly brushed hers. She closed her eyes, feeling him softly press into her as he kissed her. As usual, his lips were soft and soothing against her. She couldn't fight the urge. She closed her eyes and lost herself in the moment. Unknowingly, Ava kissed back.
“I love you so much.” He pulled back and spoke in-between kissing her. She didn't say it back. Instead Ava reached forward and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulled him back in and kissed him even harder. For a moment, she tried to forget about everything that happened. She wanted to pretend everything was perfect like a fairytale even though that was far from the truth. Slowly, she began to feel his hands travel down to edge of her dress. The passion was stirring in the pit of her stomach. After 4 years in a monogamous relationship, her attraction to Desean had yet to fade. Physically and mentally, she wanted him even more than the day they met. His hands dropped down further. Her muscles finally relaxed. “Mmmmm…” Ava softly moaned as she felt his fingers move across the top of her clit in a circular motion. He now had his hands under her dress and was massaging her with light strokes, her juices beginning to drip on the tip of his fingers.  “Baby…” he moaned out to her in a sexy voice as he continued to stroke her. She was completely distracted now. Her guard had been let down. He had her exactly where he wanted her. Ava didn’t respond. Instead, she looked up to where he stood over her. They locked gazes as he inched forward, positioning himself in between her open legs. She could see the remorse in his expression. As if he were truly apologetic for all the pain he had caused. But it didn’t matter. She didn’t want to think about it anymore. She didn’t want to feel any more pain.

Suddenly, he pushed her down on the bed. Ava fell back in shock, her long weave spilling over the comforter set. 
“Desean…” she called out to him, her eyes following him as he reached for her panties. She bit her bottom lip as he slid them down her waist, past her knees and over her ankles. He dropped them down to the floor and rubbed his hands together as if he were preparing for a hearty meal.  Her bottom was now bare and exposed. He licked his lips after noticing her juices dripping from her clit running down her inner thighs. Desean continued to watch her closely while he unlaced the strings around his pajama set and pulled his pants and his boxers down to his knees. Instantly his long, 9-inch brown dick fell out of his pants, practically slapping her in the face once it was let loose. Rock hard.
“Mmmmm…” Ava couldn't help but moan while licking her lips after glancing down at his rather large package. Desean was so well endowed and his muscles were toned, just looking at his firm stature made her body shake. Against her better judgement, he had pulled her into his trap. He had her under his spell once again.  
“Get up baby.” Desean reached for her, instructing her to stand. Ava did not resist. She obeyed, sat up on the bed and stood to her feet facing him. Forcefully, Desean pulled her in close pressing her body into his, their crotches cradling each other. He wasted no time lifting her dress past her hips and over her head and tossing the fabric across the room. Ava hadn’t worn a bra that night so her large double D breasts were now exposed. Desean looked her up and down head to toe, admiring her body as if he never seen it before.

“Damn…” he cussed. “I can’t believe you’re all mines. I’m such a lucky man…”

She looked at him, still not saying a word. Physically her body wanted him, but mentally her mind still did not want to give in. Her silence didn’t stop him. Desean turned her naked ass around, her hair whipping over her shoulders as he whisked her towards the bed. “Bend over.” He leaned forward and seductively spoke into her ear. Again she obeyed. Ava nodded her head and leaned forward, her manicured fingertips stretching across the comforter as she tooted her ass up in the air. She was dripping wet, her juices had already wet the bed. No other man had ever given her this feeling. Desean could turn her on in ways unimaginable just by looking at her. She never felt this way… with anyone…
“Ahhhhh…” Ava cried out as she suddenly felt him slide into her, all 9 inches of his dick filling her insides. He slapped her ass, the large echo booming throughout the bedroom as he plunged even deeper. “Ahhhhh shit!” Ava threw her head back, closed her eyes and twirled her hips. Desean stroked her long, hard and deep, each thrusts pounding her weak body. He filled her up so well, Ava loved to feel him inside her. She threw her ass back, throwing all of her weight on top of him pressing her pussy into his dick even harder.

“Damn…” Desean immediately reacted and slapped her ass again. “I love you so much Ava, I’m never letting you go….” Reaching forward, he grabbed a handful of her hair which he knew turned her on. “Tell me you love me.” He demanded her while fucking her from the back. “Say you love me Ava. Say it….”
“Mmmmm... Ahhhhh” she continued to moan out loud, clenching her walls around his dick. Her insides were trembling. She was about to cum. “I loveeeeee you babyyyy.” Giving him exactly what he wanted, Ava cried out after feeling herself about to black out. He continued to fuck her, her body growing weaker.
“Shit!” suddenly Desean pulled out. He stepped back as he wiped sweat off his forehead composing himself. Ava was out of breath. She plopped down onto her stomach with her naked ass still tooted up in the air. She breathed in through her nose and out her mouth, attempting to steady her racing heartbeat. Almost immediately, her guilty conscience took over. What the fuck are you doing, Ava??? Why did you just have sex with him after everything he has done to you???? She looked up at Desean who was staring at her sprawled out body while licking his lips. She stared back. The sex was good as usual. Once again she had been pulled back into his lust trap. Foolishly, Ava fell for it each and every time. Desean leaned forward and slapped her on the ass. "I'm never letting you go Ava... Ever..." She stared at him in the eyes, knowing very well he meant each and every word…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 3

Chapter 3.

 

"Lay back Ava… Relax... I want you to forget where you are. Forget where you came from or why you’re here... Become one with yourself…. Lose yourself in this moment."

Ava sat laid back on the cold leather couch staring at the ceiling. Her hands were neatly folded flat on her chest with her legs propped up over the arm rest. She took a deep breath, following the woman’s directions as she attempted to forget how stupid of an idea it was that she decided to pay $100 for this session. Breathing in deep through her nose with her eyes still closed, she licked her lips, pretending this was reality and she indeed was absent from this world for a few moments. What else do you have to lose Ava? You came all the way here... The least you could do is try…

"Okay now open your eyes Ava Hazel. You can sit up now"

Slowly, she sat up and turned her body in the chair, staring at the woman who sat in front of her casually with her legs crossed and her glasses tipped to the edge of her nose. She was an older woman, possibly in her 50's. Her hair was salt and pepper gray and pinned up on the top of her head in a messy bun. For an elderly woman, she had smooth silky skin, full luscious bangs and piercing green eyes. Ava examined her. Although her appearance was welcoming, it did not change the fact that this woman was a stranger. Before Ava walked in that door and laid her gullible ass on this couch, she thought she had everything figured out. Now here she was, confused on what the next step was and frustrated that she couldn’t figure it out on her own.

"Now that we have gotten all warmed up." The woman spoke breaking the silence. Susan Eliza Fuller. That was her name. "I was up all night reading your emails Ava. You seem to have a lot on your mind." She tiled her head and smirked at her.

In return, Ava nodded her head immediately feeling guilty. "I do." She admitted it out loud.

Susan sat forward and propped her chin up in the palm of her hand. She wore a look of concern on her face.  "Well if you don’t mind me asking… You didn't feel that it would have been appropriate to save your thoughts for our face to face session??? This is my first time meeting you and I feel like I already know your whole life story."

Ava chuckled, laughing at the 5 page email she sent Susan the night before scheduling this meeting. She had a lot on her chest. Thoughts about Desean. Thoughts about herself.  Ava shook her head. "I'm sorry, Susan is it??” she asked, clarifying the woman’s name. In response she nodded, confirming Ava it had pronounced it correctly. “Susan, if you think that was my life story, you are sadly mistaken. You haven't even heard the half yet."

The woman took a deep breath almost as if she we're preparing for the worst. "Oh boy." She scooted her glasses up on her nose. "So tell me, you said you we're unhappy with your relationship. Why is that??"

Ava’s heart skipped a beat as Susan suddenly asked a brazenly honest question. She was straight forward and clearly had no intentions on cutting any corners.

"Why is that??" Ava repeated her, feeling as if she had explained this part in the email already. She smacked her lips before continuing. "My life was fine... Up until 4 years ago when I met the person who was supposed to change my life for the better…. The man who I deemed as perfect for me has so many damn imperfections…. That’s why I’m unhappy…."

“Hmm…” Susan scooted forward again leaning in closer. "Okay so let’s start off with your life story please. I want to get to know you."

Ava took a deep breath. She made eye contact with Susan. Surprisingly, upon looking at her she didn’t feel intimidated at all. This woman seemed extremely authentic and genuine. Of course, Ava had already done her research on her and read every single review she could find which happened to be all 5 stars. Susan Fuller had a bachelor’s degree and a PhD in Psychology. She had spent the last 25 years of her life working at Healing Therapy Associates of Wilmington, dealing with adults struggling with relationships, marriage problems and personal inner issues. Ava smirked to herself. Never in a million years had she imagined being here. Inside a physiologists’ office. But she was here now. There was no use in turning back because the deposit was nonrefundable. Taking one last deep breath, Ava prepared to let everything all out.

''Okay, what do you want to know?" she asked hesitantly.

Susan smiled and pulled out her clipboard preparing to jot down notes. "I want to know your name. Excuse me for being confused but you used two names on the paperwork. Is it Ava? Or is it Hazel?”

Ava chuckled lightly. She heard this question before. Probably a million times before. “My real name is Ava…” she answered confidently.

Susan nodded her head and began to write things down. “Okay, perfect” she finished writing and looked back up at her. “And where does the name Hazel come from if you don’t mind me asking?”

Suddenly, Ava’s smile disappeared. The humorous twinkle in her eyes quickly melted away as soon as the question left Susan’s lips. Not many people asked her to elaborate on why she used two names. Over the years, Ava did her best to remain strong and forget about the reasons behind it. But she couldn’t fight the painful memories once they came rushing back to her mind. Her thoughts drifted. Visibly, Ava could still see herself 21 years ago standing 3 feet tall dressed in her pretty pink and yellow dress and large beautiful pink and yellow hair bows. She was a child. So young and innocent. Ava looked back over at Susan noticing she was staring awaiting an answer. Ava shook her head. She wasn’t prepared to go this deep but at some point, she knew the time would come. Parting her lips, Ava finally opened her mouth to speak.

“Because my father hated me…” It pained her chest to say it, but Ava blurted it out deciding to give a straight and honest answer. Her heart was now racing. Susan’s eyes widened in surprise. She wasn’t expecting for Ava to come right out with it and was shocked by her outburst.

 “What do you mean your father hated you???” she asked for her to elaborate.

“Uhhh” Ava stammered while hesitating whether or not she wanted to go into detail. She looked down at her hands noticing they were now trembling. Susan was asking her to speak on a very sensitive topic and 21 years later, she still had not fully healed from the pain her family had caused. Slowly, she looked back up at Susan who was patiently waiting.

Ava shrugged her shoulders. “How else can I say it? He hated me… He hated my mother… He hated any and everything that had to do with my existence…” Ava’s brow furrowed as she began to think about it all. I was a little girl… I didn’t deserve that… I needed love…

“Just let it out, Ava…” Susan reached forward and placed a comforting hand on her lap. She smiled warmly. “I can tell you have been holding this in. You will feel so much relief once you let it go… Stop holding on…Let go”

Ava closed her eyes, meditating herself with those words. Relax...  Calm your nerves…. Stop holding on… Let it go…. Slowly, she nodded her head and opened her eyes, preparing to do what she had been running away from for years. Let go Ava….

“My mother was the other woman….” She spoke numbly while looking straight forward. Ava didn’t show any emotion as she began telling the story. “She didn’t know my father was married with 4 kids until after she got pregnant with me. But she was a fool. My mother was in love with a man that wanted nothing to do with her at all…” Ava sniffled. She could still see her mother’s beautiful angelic face staring at her from her death bed. Nova Monique Mullins was her name. That woman was so gorgeous with beautiful youthful brown skin and long curly natural hair. She was only 34 years old when she died from ovarian cancer. Ava could still hear Nova crying out for Ava’s father to visit before she succumbed to her disease. He never did.

Ava continued with the story, her tone growing more frustrated the more she remembered.  “My father told her to get an abortion…. Once my mother refused, he cut all ties with her completely. He never came to the hospital to see me when I was born... She mailed him my baby pictures… In return he sent them right back as returned mail. And after everything he had done to forget about her and forget about me… she still loved him… she named me after him….”

Ava watched Susan who was listening to her with all ears. She seemed extremely intrigued by what she had to say. Ava continued. “Avan Henry Sweeney… That’s my father’s name….My mother died when I was 11 years old, he didn’t come to the funeral…. I had so much anger towards my mom for making that man my dad and for being so gullible for his love… She gave me his last name. She never took him to court for child support. She never held him accountable for anything… and because of that I suffered… and she died… ”

Susan cleared her throat. “Wow….” She shook her head and turned towards her. “I’m so sorry to hear you had to grow up like that…. So is that why you use two names??? Because of your father???”

Ava toyed with her fingernails and nodded her head. She hated admitting it, but it was the truth. “I hated the name Ava for years. Hazel was my identity. That was the name I went by from childhood all the way until college... Until I met Desean…..” her heart fluttered as she finally mentioned his name. Other than Susan, Desean was the only person that heard this story before. The only person she had allowed inside her dark world. “He is the only one in this world who calls me, Ava. He was the only one who cared about my self-acceptance... I never felt love from a man until I met Desean…”

Nodding her head, Susan looked down and began writing on her clipboard. She hummed to herself as she wrote down an extremely long paragraph. Ava watched her with a raised eyebrow, waiting for her to finish.

“Alright…” Susan looked back up… “Now let’s talk about Desean… I remember reading the name in your email…”

Ava held her breath as Susan finally touched basis on the real reason behind why she was here. Ava was confused. More confused now than she had ever been.

“So, Ava…” Susan continued. “How did you two meet?”

Ava couldn’t help but smirk as she quickly began to reminisce when times were good. She smiled. “On the Ferris wheel at the county fair…” she chuckled as she remembered that night and the ridiculous bright yellow jumpsuit she wore. She had been warned not to wear it, but she did anyways because Ava thought she looked bomb in the outfit.  She would never forget standing in line for almost half an hour waiting to ride the newly constructed Ferris wheel everyone had been raving about. After finally reaching the front of the line and securing her spot. Ava rode the wheel approximately 2 minutes before suddenly feeling her safety belt snap, which ultimately sent her flailing over the edge with her feet dangling almost 20 feet in the air.  She could still recall screaming at the top of her lungs and being so shocked feeling herself being thrown over the edge

“Just hold on pretty lady…. I am coming up there to get you…” for the first time, she heard his voice as she hung midair hanging on for dear life. Her arms were beginning to cramp and her finger tips were turning sweaty. Ava’s eyes were clamped shut the entire time as she desperately waited to be rescued.  For heaven’s sake she didn’t have much strength to hold on and knew it was only a matter of seconds before she came tumbling down crashing to the ground. To her surprise within a matter of seconds, she could feel a pair of strong arms wrap her body up securely.

“Hold on to me, baby girl…. I won’t let you go…” The sudden voice took her by shock. Slowly, Ava opened her eyes and locked gazes with a beautiful pair of hazel brown eyes staring back at her. She gasped immediately. For a moment, she almost forgot she was dangling 20 feet in the air.  Ava couldn’t believe her eyes. Staring back at her was the most handsome, attractive face she had ever laid eyes on. Despite the situation, Desean smiled the most beautiful smile. “Don’t worry… I won’t let you get hurt… I promise you that….” He rescued her that night. His big strong arms carried her down to the ground giving her a sense of security Ava had never felt before. She had been a damsel in distress all her life… For the first time, someone actually saved her… Ava looked at Susan who was clearly indulged in the story. She shook her head. “I fell in love with him that night…. And now... I’m here....”

Susan ran a finger across her chin as if she were quickly mustering up a solution. She looked down at her paper, jotted down more notes than looked back up at her. “We are still missing a few pieces of the puzzle Ava…  You speak so highly of Desean, but I’m sure that is not the reason you are here… What is it that’s making you unhappy?”

Ava fidgeted in her seat. The question was a tricky one. Apart of her didn’t know the real reason. Apart of her didn’t know how someone that she loved so much could make her so unhappy. Her shoulders slumped. She parted her lips. Ava had wanted to tell this secret for so long, but she had no one to tell. No one to talk to. But now she did. “When I met Desean, I thought he was perfect… He was handsome. Funny. Intelligent. Desean works as an application development manager so he has a great salary and a consistent career…. I fell in love with him… I never had a man love me the way he did… Everything he gave me made up for everything my father didn’t….”

“Hmmm….” Susan nodded. “I see…. You yearned for a protective male figure to fill the emotional void left by your father. Is that right?”

Ava nodded her head as Susan hit the nail right on the head. This woman was absolutely correct as if she were reading her mind. She continued. “So I am going to ask again… What is making you unhappy Ava?” she asked the question again, this time more firmly. Susan needed an answer and Ava knew beating around the bush was only going to drag this conversation out even longer. She finally decided to let it go and speak her truths.

“When I first met Desean, we made a promise that we would be honest with each other by all mean necessary. He promised to always tell me the truth no matter how ugly that truth may be…  But he wasn’t 100% honest about who he was…” Her head dropped as she spoke, her heart sinking even deeper into her stomach. Ava hated thinking about it. Hated talking about it because it made the situation even more real. She sighed then continued with the story. “Desean loves me. He’s never cheated on me. He’s never stole from me. He’s never laid a hand on me….. But he drinks…. He drinks a lot… To the point it scares me to death… I’m afraid the love of my life is going to die.....”

Susan immediately began to write down what Ava was saying word for word. Finally, they were getting to the juicy part. Ava finished. “I found out about his drinking only 2 weeks into our relationship. He was sloppy drunk one night and got arrested outside a bar for chasing down the owner with a knife. Guess who bailed him out??? Me…..” she shook her head as she remembered driving to that jail station to pick him up. At that time, she barely even knew him. They were in the beginning stages of their relationship But she was already addicted. Having never fallen in love before, Desean had her under his spell and Ava willingly paid his bond without asking him to pay her back. “Back then, Desean made it seem as if he had everything under control… But after a few months went by, his drinking got worse…. He’s been arrested for public intoxication. He’s been hospitalized for alcohol poisoning... He’s paid his way out of 3 DUI’s…’ Ava shook her head as she ran down the list. So much had happened within 4 years. Through it all, she stuck by his side… She refused to leave…

Susan looked up at her in-between writing. “Have you given Desean any ultimatums? What have you done to assist in breaking this horrid habit?”

Ava heart stopped as she immediately began to muster up an answer. Instead, she came up blank. She grew silent as the guilt took over her body. Truth be told, she couldn’t think of anything she had done other than threaten to leave. But she never did. Maybe I am the fuel behind his fire… Maybe I am partially to blame…

“Don’t blame yourself…” Susan spoke reading her mind once again. “When you plant lettuce and if it does not grow well, you don’t blame the lettuce. You look for reasons it is not doing well. It may need fertilizer. More WATER…”

Ava looked at her with a confused look wandering what the hell plants and lettuce had anything to do with their current conversation. She took a few seconds to let Susan’s words marinate and after a few moments, everything began to make sense…

“This may seem hard to believe, Ava… But I see something special in you… You may not see it today or tomorrow, but you will look back in a few years and be absolutely awed by how every little thing brought you somewhere wonderful.” Ava listened to her with open hears soaking up every word. Deep down inside, she hoped everything she was saying was true. “Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. God is directing you to a much greater happiness.”

Ava stated at her with wide eyes. This woman’s words were so powerful and surprisingly, she was now more confused than she initially was before she walked through that door. “So what does that mean Susan???” she asked, feeling herself becoming anxious. “Do I stay with him??? Do I leave him??? What do I do?????”

In response, Susan smiled a mischievous smile. She looked at Ava as if she were looking into her future. As if she could see everything that was going to happen.  The room was silent. Both women stared at each other quietly. Ava waited patiently, waiting for her to instruct her on what to do next. But she knew the truth. Her next move was not up to Susan. It wasn’t up to anyone but herself.

Ring Ring.

Ava jumped in her seat as she felt her phone ring in her back pocket. Snapping herself out her confusing daze, Ava reached into her purse and retrieved her cellphone. Without checking the caller id, she swiped the talk button and pressed the phone to her ear. “I’m in a meeting. Is it an emergency???” she quickly sputtered into the phone hoping to rush the caller off quickly. In return, a female voice invaded the other line.

“Code red! Code red!” The voice frantically shouted on the other end. “Get here now Hazel! Come now now NOW! Code red!!!!!”

Ava knew those words well. Code red. She gasped and immediately hopped up from her seat. A startled Susan followed her with her eyes watching as Ava abruptly began to gather her belongings. “Don’t do anything else. I am on my way.” Ava didn’t ask what was going on. She spoke quickly then clicked the end button and disconnected the call. She turned back to Susan who stared at her waiting for her to explain.
“Sorry, I know this session is nonrefundable. But I have to run. It’s an emergency.”

Susan acceptingly nodded her head. She did not give her the third degree. “Give my receptionist a call tomorrow after 3 p.m. I will see what I can do about getting you rescheduled at no charge.”

Ava couldn’t help but smile at her. She was surprised Susan wanted to see her again and was willing to make an exception. “Will do. Thanks for listening Susan…”

In response, she smiled and winked at her. “Get out of here and go take care of your business sweetheart.”

Ava smiled at her one last time. Although they weren’t able to get the bottom of her dilemma, it was a start and she felt a lot better walking out then she did walking in. Strapping her purse over her shoulder, Ava waved goodbye one last time, trailed across the room and exited out of the door hurrying down the hall to exit the building.

Chapter 4.

 Chapter 4.

 

"Fuck you, you bastard!!! You're a filthy piece of shit! I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!!!" The voice was loud as it aggressively shouted from across the room. "You are never welcome back here! Ever! Fuck you! You lying son of a bitch!"
Ava stood by with wide eyes while witnessing the chaotic scene unfold in front of her eyes. A young petite woman stood before her highly irate screaming to the top of her lungs. A cellphone was cradled in her left hand, a butcher knife in the other. "Get the hell out of here! Get out right now before I call the police on you!" the woman continued to shout, the veins practically popping out of her neck. Ava stood by silently staring at the two figures before her. They were both firm, challenging each other with neither one willing to fold. The person on the other side of the room laughed a taunting laugh, completely making a mock of the situation.
"Go ahead and call the cops, Jade. You're the crazy woman wielding a knife. I just came to get my things." the deep, masculine voice ridiculed the woman across the living room. Ava pressed her lips together remaining silent while looking back and forth between the two. She was afraid to say something but secretly felt as if she should intervene. She was hesitant. Especially if there was a weapon involved.
"Why the fuck did you marry me, Theo?" Ava watched Jade step forward, inching towards him. The closer she got with the knife, the more nervous Ava became. "Six months!!! Why would you marry me if you were if you going to cheat in six months???!!! You're really fucking pathetic!!!!" 
Ava watched Jade closely making sure to keep a close eye on her. She had an evil glare in the corner of her eyes as she irately shouted at the man.  Finally it was happening. Finally, her best friend of 9 years was putting her foot down and kicking Theodore Atkinson's no good cheating ass to the curb. Truth be told, his departure had been highly anticipated and should have happened a long time ago. In such a short amount of time, Theo had completely sucked the life out of her friend physically and emotionally. Jade was a good woman. A financially stable woman. She was an entrepreneur who successfully started her own catering business at the young age of 23. Growing up, Jade had a strong family unit, a great household income and an overall great life. Only thing she was missing in life was a real man. A man who was going to care and love her. Instead, she ended up with a scumbag who cheated on her with a girl almost half his age.

 Ava glanced over at Theodore, who stared back at his wife with a blank expression. He appeared unbothered, as if he didn't care that he had been caught. 
"Go ahead!" Jade pointed at the door. "Go ahead and go be with that bitch that gave you chlamydia!" she shouted at him.
Again, Theo shook his head in response. Ava couldn’t help but stare at him with a crazy look on her face, wandering what the hell Jade saw in him. He wasn't very attractive and his clothes were extremely too big for his body. Theodore was short and pudgy with old school cornrows and tattoos covered over every inch of his body. Jade on the other hand was the complete opposite. She was drop dead gorgeous. Her hair was long, her light caramel skin was smooth and her teeth were clean. Jade would constantly be mistaken as a fashion model because her figure was slim and petite but extremely curvy and shapely in the right places. She was every man's dream. Someway, somehow, she ended up with a dirt bag like Theo.
"Woman, you believe anything." he spoke over his shoulder while turning his back and heading towards the door. "I don't have no damn chlamydia! You're out of your mind!" he walked away without giving her an explanation. He didn’t apologize or show remorse. He didn’t make any attempts to fight for his marriage. Instead he turned his back to her and began heading towards the door.  "I'm gone Jade! You can have the house. The cars. I don’t want any of it. You can have everything but my last name!" he hit her with an extremely low blow as he opened the door, preparing to step out.
Ava glanced over, noticing Jade had immediately become enraged by his comment. "What???!!!" she shouted at him with his back turned. "What did you say, mother fucker???" Suddenly, Jade rushed forward and began to dash across the room like a mad woman charging right for him with the knife raised. "What did you say???" she shouted at him. 
Ava's heart dropped into her stomach as soon as she witnessed her suddenly rush after him. She gasped. "Jade! Stop!" Ava shouted after her. Acting quickly, she jumped up and raced after her. "What the hell are you doing???" Ava shouted behind her, chasing her towards the door. She was close on her heel. Extending her arm as far as she could, Ava managed to jump forward and grab Jade by the arm, snatching her back before she could get any closer to him. Immediately, Jade began to wiggle to free herself. “Don’t touch me, Hazel!” she shouted at her. She was combative, flailing her arms around in the air as if she had forgotten she was holding a knife in her right hand. Ava’s heart was racing. Her breathing was heavy. "Be careful with that thing!!!” she ducked and weaved while shouting. “What the fuck is wrong with you, girl???!!! Have you lost your mind????" Ava restrained her and pushed her against the wall before Jade could make another mood. She quickly glanced over her shoulder and caught a glimpse of Theo who had already made his way out the door.

 Jade successfully wiggled herself free, becoming defensive. "I wasn't going to touch him! You didn’t have to hold me back!"

Ava stared at her in shock. "Jade, you got to get yourself together girl!” Ava reached forward and put her hands on her shoulders practically shaking her. “What the fuck is wrong with you??? What are you doing with yourself??? This is not you!!!" Ava stood staring at her with wide eyes. This was not the Jade she had met 9 years ago. Jade did not have the same charisma and spunk Ava was used to. Theodore had changed her in ways unimaginable.

Shaking herself out of a surprised daze, Ava dashed across the living room towards the front window. She tossed the curtains back and stuck her head out to check if the coast was clear. To her relief, she spotted Theodores black Expedition backing out of the driveway. Ava let out a relieving breath as she watched him place the truck in drive and speed down the street, disappearing around the block. Secretly, she was happy he was gone. If she hadn’t ditched her therapy session and rushed to accompany Jade in kicking him out… Lord knows what would have happened... 
Buzz Buzz Buzz
Suddenly, Ava's cellphone began to vibrate in her back pocket. Drawing the curtains back in place, she took a step back, dug into her pocket and retrieved her cell to glance at the screen. My Baby Sean. Immediately, Ava’s heart dropped into her stomach upon seeing Desean’s name pop up on the caller ID. Her brow furrowed as she stared at the vibrating cellphone in the palm of her hand. Everything in the room stood still for a moment. She contemplated whether she should take the call or continue to let it ring. Nervously, Ava looked over at Jade who wasn’t paying any attention to her at all. Jade was now huddled in a corner with her face buried in her hands bawling crying. Ava knew that was coming next. She took a deep breath, knowing very well her friend was in desperate need of consoling. Now was not an appropriate time to accept a phone call in the midst of the chaos. But at the same time, she was afraid Desean would grow suspicious if she didn't answer. She began to think about last night. She thought about how quickly everything escalated. She thought about her questionable session with Susan. Holding her breath, Ava turned her back and slid her finger across the screen to answer the phone. "Hello." she placed the phone to her right ear.
"Baby..." Desean’s deep, sexy voice greeted her on the other line in a warm and soft tone. A completely different tone than last night. Ava kept a straight face.

"Desean, I'm with Jade. Now really isn't a good time to talk. What's up???" she quickly rushed to the topic of the conversation, hoping it were not important so they could talk later.

“Oh…” he sounded taken aback by her hurriedness to get him off the phone. “Sorry bae, I didn’t mean to interrupt while you were hanging with your girl.” He was quick to apologize, which made Ava roll her eyes. Desean was acting like his usual self. Pretending everything was perfect and nothing happened. This was typical of him. But this time, Ava wasn’t falling for it and apart of her had a guilty conscience for giving in so easily last night. Indeed, the sex was amazing. Liberating and powerful. Practically the most passionate sex they had in years. But inside her mind, it didn’t change a thing and once that orgasm subsided, her true feelings began to arise.

 “Listen, I want to take you to a really nice dinner.” Desean continued, interrupting her thoughts. “Can you clear some time on your schedule for your man tonight???” he asked her.

Ava went quiet. She didn’t answer immediately, nervously tapping her foot on the carpet feeling as if she were being put on the spot. She hated whenever he tried to make things up to her. At times like this, Ava wanted space to figure things out. Desean on the other hand never gave her that space. Again, she looked up at her best friend who was still crying to herself hysterically in the corner of the room. Ava smacked her lips. “Okay, Desean.” She sputtered out a half answer. “That’s fine. I will talk to you in a few hours when I get home, okay? Love you, bye.” She did not wait for a response. Quickly, Ava ended the phone call and shoved the phone back into her pocket. She felt bad for hanging up on him, but now was not the time to discuss anything in detail. Ava glanced over at Jade, hoping she had not overheard the conversation. Luckily, she had not. She was too busy huddled in a corner bawling her eyes out. Ava shook her head as she walked over to where Jade had slid to the floor. She sat hunched in the corner with her knees drawn to her chest as she cried. Ava silently bent down to where she sat.

“Jade…” she softly called out her name.

Jade looked up. Her face was an absolute wreck. Her tears had completely ruined her makeup. Her eyeliner and mascara was now a runny mess, staining her cheeks. “I don’t know what I’m going to do…” tears ran down her cheeks as she spoke. “I don’t know what I’m going to do without him, Hazel!” her shoulders bobbed up and down as she cried. She was miserable. Ava took a deep breath. As much as she hated Theodore, she couldn’t fault Jade for being hurt. She understood exactly how much pain a man can bestow upon a woman. Me of all people…. I should definitely know…

 Ava reached forward and lightly brushed her hair with her fingers. “Listen, I know how you feel…” she spoke truthfully although she knew her words gave little comfort.

Jade turned her head, immediately pulling away. “You don’t!” she shouted at her. Her tone was angry and full of resentment as she spoke. Jade looked at Ava with tears still rolling down her cheeks. “You have a good man Hazel! You have Desean! He treats you like a queen! What the hell do you know about heart break???” she asked an intense question, practically challenging her. Ava stared silently, immediately turning quiet. She felt taken aback as stared at her friend who was completely oblivious to what was really going on in her life. Sadly, Ava had no comeback to explain herself.  Little did Jade know, her relationship was far from perfect. But she was too embarrassed. Too ashamed to admit she had just as many problems as anyone else.

“Look…” Ava finally broke her silence to speak. “You are human. Human are fragile creatures that are made up on broken hearts and broken promises. But don’t lose yourself Jade. Don’t ever lose yourself trying to hold onto someone who doesn’t care about losing you… You’re worth so much more than that…”

Jade did not respond immediately. Surprisingly, her tears had stopped. She sat still, visibly marinating everything Ava just said. She wiped the tears from her eyes using the back of her hand. “You’re right…” Jade spoke silently through her sniffles.

“Good…” Ava nodded her head. She didn’t believe her but she didn’t pressure her any further. “Now, get up. Clean yourself up.” She held out her hand, assisting her in standing. Jade nodded her head, grabbed her by the wrist and used Ava’s weight to pull herself up from the floor. She stood to her feet while drying her face.

“You’re absolutely right…” Jade repeated herself more confidently than the first time. Ava smiled a warming smile, hoping her words of encouragement made her feel a little better. “You going to be alright?” she asked with a raised eyebrow.

Jade sniffled one more time and offered a weak smile. “Now that I have let it out, I will be okay… I just have to figure out what I’m going to do from here… I’m so confused…”

Ava fell silent and stared at her for a moment. She took a deep breath than mustered up a half smile. You and me both Jade… You and me both….

 “Okay then. I have to get going.” Ava gathered herself preparing to leave. “What do you say we hang out tomorrow? Maybe you can come down the club and have a few drinks.”

Jade perked up, the sound of getting out the house immediately bringing her back to life. “Won’t you have to work the bar???” she asked eagerly.

Ava waved her off. “I can take a night off. It’s the least I could do.”

Jade smiled an extremely realistic smile. She nodded her head in excitement, which took Ava by surprise. “I could definitely use a night out on the town. Thank you, Hazel.”

Ava smiled at her. She wasn’t expecting Jade to agree that easily but she was happy she was willing to kick back for once. Ava extended both arms and reached out to her. Jade accepted, immediately jumping into her arms wrapping her up in a tight hug. “You’re such a great friend, Hazel. I don’t know what I would do without you.”

Ava smiled while pulling apart. “I told you, anytime you need me I’m there.” She laughed. “You are newly single. The best way to get over your old man is to get up under something new.” Ava winked while grabbing her bags. Although she spoke confidently as if she had a plan, she did not. Hell, Ava didn’t even know what she was going to do with her own damn life. But she was damn good at faking it.

Jade laughed, “Okay girl, I can’t wait. I will see you tomorrow night!”

They both agreed on tomorrow night before hugging each other goodbye. Quickly, Ava gathered her things and skipped out to the door and headed home to deal with her own issues.

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 5.

Chapter 5.

 

“Hello Mrs. McCarthy. Welcome to the Italian Grove restaurant. My name is Donatello and I will be your server today. We are very glad to have you here dining with us this afternoon mam…”

Mrs. McCarthy??? What the hell? I’m not married and my last name damn sure isn’t McCarthy! Ava hiked up her dress as she walked up the stairs leading to the upscale Italian restaurant. She eyed the waiter who stood at the top of the steps with a huge smile on his face, waiting for her to reach the top. “You look magnificent ma’am.” He complimented her as she finally reached the last step. Slightly out of breath, she politely smiled at the young man. “Thank you.” She answered briefly. “My name is Ava… Ava Sweeney…” she put emphasis on her last name.

The waiter quickly apologized. “I’m sorry about that Ms. Ava. I have you down for a reservation but it looks like they listed your last name as McCarthy.”

Ava sucked her teeth. She wanted to roll her eyes but decided against being rude. “No worries. McCarthy is my boyfriend’s last name. Desean McCarthy. Has he arrived yet???”

The waiter smiled at her. “Yes he has… Come along, I will take you to him. Right this way mam.” He wasted no time instructing her to follow him. Ava nodded her head and began to proceed inside the doors of the upscale restaurant. She had never been to the Italian Grove and wandered what made Desean choose to have dinner here. Her eyes scanned the restaurant, which was fairly busy for a Thursday night. There were at least 50 tables scattered around the room, all of them filled. Ava looked around, checking out the place. She couldn’t front, she was impressed. The restaurant was romantically shaded with candles lit on each table. The windows were tall and rounded, displaying a gorgeous view of downtown Wilmington. Large beautiful chandeliers hung from the ceiling with beautiful decadent white and red roses posted on each wall. Overall, it was a nice restaurant but Ava was not fooled. This was a sympathy date. She knew better than to fall for his trap this time. Ava continued to follow the waiter who led her deep into the restaurant. She followed him with a raised eyebrow, wandering why the hell they were walking so far away from the crowd. Hesitantly, she followed him to a secluded area which was all the way in the back of the restaurant. 
“Right this way ma’am.” He motioned her to step through a side door. She nodded her head and stepped ahead of him, walking into the entrance while having no idea what she was about to walk into. Immediately Ava gasped, her jaw dropping in amazement upon stepping inside. “Oh my God…” she whispered breathtakingly.  Her heart sunk into her stomach as looked around in awe. The large, spacious room was secluded and closed off from the other side of the restaurant. Rose pedals sprinkled the floor.  Lightened candles were lined up, forming a walk way towards a single table that was positioned in the middle of the room. Ava could hear the sound of soft jazz music playing as she stepped further inside. “Wowwwww…” she spoke again dazzlingly while observing her surroundings in astonishment. The spacious area was private and romantically decorated with a gorgeous view, completely taking her breath away the moment she stepped through the door. Ava’s eyes landed on a manly figure standing across the room waiting for her by the table. The man stood with both hands crossed in front of him as he smiled at her from across the room. He wore a sharp, stunning black suit with matching black shoes and a black and red suit tie. His hairline and mustache had been neatly trimmed for the occasion.

“Damn…” Ava was speechless as she walked towards where he stood. Seeing him so handsomely dressed in his neatly pressed suit put butterflies in her stomach.  She admired his chocolate brown skin reflecting underneath the candle light as she approached. He smiled that beautiful, dangerously attractive. “Hello Ava…”

She shuddered. He’s so damn fine… Desean McCarthy is such a beautiful man… I understand exactly why I fell hard…. Lord knows, he makes it so hard to stay angry…

Desean smiled, eyeing her up and down in amazement. “Damn…” he repeated her, examining her dress as if he wanted to rip it off her body. Ava wore an olive green Marc Jacobs gown that reached all the way down to her ankles spilling over her feet. The dress covered just one of her shoulders, leaving the other uncovered which helped accentuate her gorgeous caramel brown skin. To top it all off, she wore a simple but stylish choker necklace and a diamond embroidered bracelet. Desean shook his head while observing her. “You look so beautiful… I’m having trouble controlling myself.” He extended his hand towards her. Ava blushed at his compliment, reaching forward accepting his hand.

“Thank you.” She answered politely. Desean drew her hand to his lips and placed a kiss on her palm.

“Thank you for coming…” he spoke sensually. Ava blushed again. She knew he was attempting to woo her. So far it was working.

He led her to her side of the table and untucked the chair, allowing her to have a seat. “Thank you…” she thanked him having a seat. Ava settled herself in the chair, taking another look around as Desean walked to the opposite side of the table to join her. She was still awestruck. The place was absolutely gorgeous and he had really outdone himself setting things up. The overall concept was thoughtful, beautiful and probably cost a fortune. But at the same time, Ava couldn’t help but wonder. She wished things were different. She wished Desean were doing this out of the kindness of his heart. Not because he messed up…. She watched him from across the table. They had not taken their eyes off each other since walking in the room. He cleared his throat while sitting down. “What did you think?” he asked. “About the McCarthy thing???” he raised an eyebrow, asking for approval in changing her last name on the reservation.

Ava nervously fidgeted with her fingernails under the table. ‘Umm…” she stammered. “Kind of confusing…” she answered honestly.

Desean laughed. He shrugged his shoulders. “Sorry. I guess I got too ahead of myself. Maybe someday…” he hinted at the future of their relationship in a subliminal way. Ava didn’t want to give false hopes. Indeed, they had discussed marriage before, but things were different now. So she remained silent.

“Would you like champagne?” he asked.

Quietly, Ava nodded her head. She watched as Desean reached into the ice bucket, retrieved a bottle of champagne and removed the cork screw. He poured her a glass of red wine to the rim and extended it in her direction. “Here you go babe.” He handed her the glass.

“Thank you…” Ava took the glass out of his hands and brought the rim to her lips. Slowly, she took a sip while giving him a side eye. She watched as he placed the bottle back down on the table and into the ice bucket. She breathed a sigh of relief. Thank God, he did not make himself a glass. She noticed the cup of iced water that sat in front of him. So far so good. Maybe he’s serious about kicking this alcohol habit for good…

She placed the glass back on the table and cleared her throat. “So…”

Quickly, Desean held up his hand interrupting her. “Please… let me do the talking…”

Ava closed her partially opened mouth after being interrupted mid-sentence. She sat back in her chair, quickly deciding he was right. He should be the one doing the talking.  She crossed her arms over her chest waiting for him to speak. The table grew silent again. He continued to stare at her, gazing into her eyes deeply as if it were his first time seeing her in a long time. Suddenly, Desean reached into his right pocket. Ava wasted no time following his hands with her eyes. He retrieved a small black box and placed it in the center of the table.

Her heavy heart was now beating out of control, peering at the box with a death stare. Desean smiled, picking up on her anxiety. “Go ahead…” he spoke. “It’s for you. Open it.”

She hesitated, not wanting to jump onto it too quickly or give him the benefit of the doubt. But another part of her was desperate to see what was inside. She looked back at Desean who was smiling at her patiently waiting for her to open the box. Desean knew her well. Jewelry was her weakness and it didn’t take long for Ava to fold. She reached forward and grabbed the tiny box. Desean watched her with a grin on his face as she snatched off the ribbon and opened it wide.

“Oh my god!” she shrieked louder than she intended to once the box was open. Ava placed her hand on her chest in astoundment. The gleam of the diamond practically blinded her upon opening the box. Inside lie a stunning French-set Halo diamond band ring in 14kt white gold. “Oh my god!” she shouted again, examining the ring with her hand still over her chest. She was astonished. Completely staggered. “Desean…” she anxiously sputtered out his name. “It’s a ring! What does this mean???” she quickly asked. Opening the box, a rock that big was the last thing she had expected.

Desean laughed, taking notice to her shock. He held his hands up. “Calm down, calm down. It’s a promise ring.”

Ava continued staring at him with her mouth hanging open.  “That’s one hell of a promise ring!” she spoke in disbelief while pointing at the rather large diamond ring.

Desean laughed again. He leaned over the table and reached for her hand. “Babe… I’m giving you this promise ring because I want you to know how committed I am to making a change. I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you… I never want to do anything that would risk losing you ever again…” He laced his fingers in-between hers, staring her deep into the eyes. “I’m done drinking. I’m done messing up. Ava Hazel Sweeney, do you accept my commitment? Do you accept my promise to do right by you by all means necessary?” he stared deep into her eyes. “Baby, you are the most amazing woman I have ever met... Although my progress has been slow over the years, I swear I have grown so much being with you. I promise you… from here on out, I am going to treat you like the queen you are…. You are my queen… and I love you with all my heart….”

Her bottom lip quivered. Tears began to form in the corner of her eyes as she attempted to fight the urge. But it was something she could not help. Emotionally, Ava was about to break. Her emotional connection to this man was deeper than she ever expected. Her love for him stood higher than the Eiffel tower. She was head over heels in love with Desean and had been since day once. She couldn’t give up. Not without putting up a fight for what her heart truly desired. He had so much passion in his eyes.  Little did he know, that passion was all she had ever wanted. She just wanted to feel cherished. Ava sniffled, brushing her tears away before they fell down her cheeks. She looked up at him with pleading eyes. “Is it real Desean? Do you mean it this time? I want to believe you so bad….” She dropped her head, wishing she could get over her hesitance. But it was a lot easier said than done. No matter how convincing he was, somewhere in the back of her mind she couldn’t help but think the worst.

He smiled, reached and picked her head up using his index finger. He gave her a solid look before speaking. “More serious than I have ever been… This may be my last chance, Ava… and this time, I’m going to do it right…”

For the first time tonight, Ava smiled warmly, her lips curving from ear to ear. He seemed so believable and sincere. For the first time in a while, Ava heard excitement and enthusiasm in his promises. Now, she had hope. She had faith in the person whom she was madly in love with. Silently, she began thinking about everything Susan had said earlier that day. When you plant lettuce and if it does not grow well, you don’t blame the lettuce. You look for reasons it is not doing well. It may need fertilizer. More WATER… She smiled even wider after reciting t hose words inside her head. Ava reached and held his hand. She squeezed it tight before finally giving him an answer “Yes baby…” she answered confidently. Finally, Ava had made up her mind. This time she was for sure. There was no turning back. Only moving forward. “I accept your commitment Desean…” she gave him a straight answer. “I can’t leave you… I love you too much”

Immediately, his face lit up with joy. He placed a hand on his heart as if he were extremely relieved. “I was hoping you would say that.” Slowly, he reached across the table and picked up the box, taking the ring out. “May I?” he asked, motioning for her hand. Ava smiled, nodded her head and extended her arm across the table. Grabbing her right hand, Desean slipped the ring around her ring finger.

“Damn…” she commented after noticing how big the rock looked on her hand.  She was amazed. Although materialistic things did not impress her, it was the effort that completely swept her off her feet. Quickly, she caught a tear that fell down her cheek. “Dammit…” Ava cussed under her breath, hoping Desean did not notice her tears. She had tried so hard not to become emotional, but she couldn’t help it. She hadn’t felt this warm inside in a while. Immediately, he sat up in his chair. He did notice.

“Don’t cry babe…” he reached over the table and rubbed his hand up and down her arm. “I want you to be happy…”

Quickly, Ava gathered herself together. She wiped her tears and smiled while looking up. “I am happy, Desean.” She sniffled then smiled even wider. “I am happy with you. Happier than I have ever been…”

He smiled back at her then winked. He was satisfied with the outcome. “Good.” Quickly Desean raised his hand and motioned towards the waiter who stood in the corner on standby, waiting to assist.

“Yes sir…” Their waiter Donatello quickly hurried to where they sat.

“Yes… We are ready to order an appetizer and an entrée.” His eyes shifted from the waiter, then back to Ava. “After that, bring the check, please. I think we will have dessert at home….”

Ava blushed, knowing exactly what that meant. Donatello’s lips curved into a sly smile. He knew what that meant also. “Right away sir…” quickly the waiter shuffled away to obtain two menus so they could order their food.

 

 

 

Chapter 6.

Chapter 6.

 

“Ahhhhhh!” Ava cradled the back of Desean’s head, pressing his face even harder into her pussy as his tongue danced around her insides. “Oh my God, baby!!!!” she cried out to him, feeling his mouth hit the spot while he French kissed her pussy lips.  The best head ever. Ava rotated her hips, face fucking him as he lay on top of her. He slid his tongue slowly and sensually, making love to her with the rhythm of his mouth. Desean wasn’t lying when he said he wanted her for desert and so far, he was eating her up like a freshly baked pumpkin pie. “Babyyyyyy… it feels so good!” she cried out. Desean lifted her legs in the air and pinned them against the headboard. He slipped two fingers inside her and began to finger fuck her while continuing to suck up the juices dripping down her thighs. “Babyyyyyy, I’m about to cum!” her legs began to shake. Her body jerked. “Ahhhhhh….” Her tensed muscles began to relax.  Her body shaked, releasing a much need orgasm. “Mmmmm…” Ava moaned out loud, attempting to recuperate herself.  Desean came up for a breath of air, smirking at her sprawled out body laid on the bed. “Was that good babe?” he asked while licking his lips. Ava smiled and gazed up at the most handsome man standing over her. At this very moment, she was so happy. Content with her decision to work things out. Desean was her man. She was his woman. Although he had his imperfections, he loved her which was something Ava never had from a man before. Plus, the sex and head is dammit amazing. Susan was right. I needed to dig a little deeper… Now I understand what she was trying to tell me….

Desean plopped down on the bed next to her, wrapping his arms around her waist holding in her a cradling position. Ava smiled, caressing his masculine arms as he pulled her in closer. “Mmmmm…” she moaned and closed her eyes, snuggling into his embrace. “I wish we could lay like this forever…” Ava spoke while stroking the muscles on his forearm.

Desean chuckled. He rubbed his hands up and down her waist soothing her. “Sure would be nice wouldn’t it? If only we didn’t have jobs…” He laughed.

Ava chuckled with him. He was right. Desean worked full time and didn’t have as much free time during the week like Ava. They couldn’t spend every second together no matter how badly their relationship needed the bonding time.

“Speaking of that… I was thinking…” Desean abruptly sat up in bed.

Ava turned over on her side, watching him sit up on the edge of the mattress next to where she lay.

“What have you been thinking, babe?” she asked slyly, secretly wandering what master plan he had come up with this time.

He smiled down at her. She could tell based upon the look on his face. He had something up his sleeve.

“What????” she asked again with a raised eyebrow after he did not answer immediately.  

Desean cleared his throat. He stroked her thigh before speaking. “I don’t know… I was wandering…” he dragged his words, which made Ava nervous. “I have a decent job. I make more than enough money to take care of us… I was thinking…. Maybe you should quit bartending down at the club….”

Immediately, Ava’s muscles tensed as the words left his mouth. She shot him a crazy look as if he were out of his mind. “What????” she asked him. “You want me to quit my job???”

Desean shrugged his shoulders, noticing immediately she had jumped to the defensive side. “I mean, it’s not like it’s a real job Ava… I’m sick of those men down there gawking at my woman. Maybe you should take some time off. We can go on more vacations. You can stay home and not worry about a thing. I can take care of you. What do you think???”

She stared at him with wide eyes listening to him ramble while wandering when the hell he came up with this stupid idea. The night was going so perfect. It was typical of Desean to say something completely absurd to fuck up the mood. “Stop being ridiculous. I’m not quitting my job. That is absolutely out of the question. ” Ava spoke firmly, hoping her answer would be enough to end the conversation. Desean knew she was an independent woman. It didn’t matter how much money she was making. As long as she was making money on her own, that was all that mattered. She smacked her lips. Ava wanted to slap herself upside the head for being gullible once again and not realizing there would be a catch to go along with this marvelous night. She examined Desean’s expression which did not appear very happy. “I don’t understand, Ava….” He sighed. “What if I went to the strip club every weekend??? What if I stayed out till 3 in the morning every other night??? How would you feel??? Would you be okay with that?”

Quickly, Ava sat up in bed after feeling this conversation about to go left. She twisted her body on the mattress to face him. “Desean that is not the same!” she exclaimed while clapping her hands together accentuating her statement. “It’s not like I’m not out clubbing. I’m working! I’m making money! Since when did you have a problem with that???” She questioned him with a confused look plastered on her face. Apparently this had been on his mind for a while. In response Desean shook his head, his brow furrowing. "I really don't want you going back there, Ava..." His tone was straight and narrow, no longer sweet and subtle. To her dismay, he was not satisfied with her resistance. Ava stared at him with her arms crossed over her chest attempting to understand where this was coming from. "You can't be serious Desean…” she challenged him while shaking her head. “You have no valid reason to ask me to quit my job. You’re just trying to control me… I have to go back... I promised Jade I would take her there tomorrow night."

Almost in an instant, Desean's expression suddenly and drastically changed. Immediately, he stood up from the bed and walked away from her, pacing back and forth across the room as if he had lost his mind. Ava followed him with worry filled in her eyes. She knew his demeanor all too well. He was about to get upset.  “Why are you acting like this Desean???” she asked him.

He stopped pacing and turned his body to face her. To her surprise, a cold expression was now plastered in the center of his face. He glared at her intensely before speaking. “Because you’re a selfish woman!” he snapped at her, his loud voice startling her. Ava’s jaw dropped in astonishment. His raised tone boomed throughout the bedroom interrupting the peaceful ambience. She sat forward, looking up with pleading eyes. “Why are you yelling Sean??? Will you please calm down??!!” Ava attempted to deescalate the situation before it got out of hand, but her efforts did not work. Desean inched closer.

“You asked me to change! I agreed! But you won’t do the same for me??? You’re selfish Ava! You are selfish as hell!” he pointed his finger in her direction, visibly becoming more and more enraged with each sentence that left his mouth. “It’s your fault! You are the reason why I drink! You are the cause behind this!!!”

Ava gasped. “What???” she asked him to repeat himself. “What did you just say to me????” He did not repeat it. Instead, Desean rolled his eyes and looked in the other direction breaking eye contact. Immediately, Ava shot up from the bed and charged across the room heading straight for him. “Are you fucking serious, Desean???!!!” she yelled loudly. “How dare you say that???? After EVERYTHING I have done to help you??? Now it’s my fault???” she stood directly in front of him shouting inches away from his face. She was angry now. Livid. Ava had taken a lot of shit from this man all in the name of love, but now Desean had taken things way too far.

He crossed his arms over his chest, shooting her an evil glare. Visibly, he had no intentions on taking back what he just said. “Of course it’s your fault!” he continued with his insults. “If you weren’t staying out all night long, l never would have picked up a bottle!  Can’t you see you are hurting me, Ava??!! You are the one to blame!!! You are the reason I am an alcoholic!”

Ava glared back, his accusations suddenly sending her blood pressure through the roof. “You got some fucking nerve….” Ava spoke in a chilling voice.  “You’re out of you think you’re going to blame me! I’m will not allow you to continue speaking to me as if I am worthless. I’m done!” Quickly, Ava turned her back to him, deciding she heard all she needed to hear. This was the last and final straw. Silently, she reached for the ring around her finger and began to pull it off.

“What do you mean you’re done??? What the hell are you doing Ava???” Desean questioned her, immediately noticing she was taking off the ring.

She slipped the 14karat diamond into the palm of her hand and turned back to face him. They made eye contact. Deep eye contact. Desean’s expression was straight and blank while staring back at her. Almost unreadable. Once again, her mind threatened to walk away. Leave. End it all. But another part of her contemplated. Another part of her was too afraid to see what was on the other side.

“Desean, I believed everything you said when you gave me this ring….” She walked towards him and stopped two feet away from where he stood. She glanced up at his tall figure with so much pain in her eyes. It hurt her heart seeing him this way. She loved this man. More than she had ever loved anyone. But he was not going to change.  She sniffled then extended her palm, handing the ring over. “I can’t accept this ring, Desean. If I do, I would be a hypocrite….” She reached her hand forward and handed it over. “Here. Take it…”

 Desean did not budge. His posture remained firm as he stared at her extended arm. He did not take the ring out her hand. Instead he stared at her silently. A couple of seconds went by and he still had not moved. Ava smacked her lips. “So you’re not going to take the ring???” she questioned him. Once again, he stood quietly and did not respond. Drawing her hand back, Ava rolled her eyes, his sudden silent treatment annoying her. “Whatever.” She turned her back to him. “Fine. Don’t say anything. This was all a joke. A huge fucking joke…” Walking away, Ava headed across the room and dropped the diamond onto the nightstand by the bed.

 “A joke??? You think this is all a joke???” Suddenly, Desean charged across the room walking in a fast pace heading towards where she stood across the room. Ava’s body tensed watching him walk quickly with his fists clenched by his side. There was so much anger in the corner of his eyes. He was in a rage. Ava had never seen him this angry before. She straightened her posture refusing to back down no matter how fearful she was of him.

 “Don’t come near me! If you touch me, I will have you arrested!” Ava stood firm and held up her hand, making him stop in his tracks. Instantly, Desean halted in place. His breathing was heavy as he stood 2 inches away from her staring at her extended hand. “What???” he managed to sputter out. “Arrested for what??? I have never laid a finger on you!” he shouted in his defense. He was right. Desean had never physically put his hands on her, but it didn’t matter. It was only a matter of time. Ava didn’t trust him anymore. And once that trust was gone, it could never be restored.

She watched his rage deepen. His jaw clenched as he pushed her hand out of his face. “I wasn’t going to put my hands on you!” he repeated himself again as if he were trying to prove a point. Ava stood her ground, standing firm. She had been fooled once again. But something about this time was different. She looked up at him.

 “Desean, I don’t know what else to do….” Ava could feel herself becoming emotional but she quickly shook those feelings away before continuing. “I wanted to be with you. I wanted to work things out. But I can’t continue going on like this…” Without waiting for his response, Ava turned her back and fell into step towards the closet. “I’m going to go stay at Jade’s house for a while… I need some time to think…” she spit it out before she had time to change her mind. She didn’t know what she was saying but it was too late to take it back. Indeed, Ava had threatened to leave so many times before. But for the first time in 4 years, she wanted to make good on her promise. Desean had proven himself once again and to make matters worse, he didn’t have a sip to drink. There was no alcohol involved in his change of attitude. Clearly, his anger issues went deeper than just alcohol. This was who he really was without any influences and that was an extremely tough pill to swallow.

   “You’re not going anywhere Ava…” his suddenly spoke out eerily as if he were speaking to a wall. There was no emotion in his tone. Ava stopped in place, her breathing quickening as she looked over at him. Desean stared at the ground. Mentally, it appeared as if he checked out.

“I’m not???” she repeated him, making sure she heard him correctly. “And who’s going to stop me???” she quickly asked, secretly nervous to hear his answer.

Desean pressed his lips together, immediately falling quiet. They stared at each other silently for what felt like an eternity. Ava attempted to read his mind. As usual, he was unreadable.

“I don’t have time for this Desean… I’m going to start packing now…” she advised him. Silence. Again he did not respond. Desean was in his own little world. Ava backed away slowly and hesitantly watching him with a close eye. She was fearful he would try to stop her. She was fearful to turn her back to him. So far, he hadn’t moved.

Ava hesitantly turned and stepped inside the spacious walk in close to begin retrieving her things. After the coast was clear, she wasted no time frantically snatching clothes off the hangers and throwing them into a night bag that she had conveniently left beside the closet door. Ava made sure to pack enough to at least last for a week although she had no idea how long she would really be gone. This time, she refused to talk herself out of leaving. This space was long overdue. Desean had crossed the line once and for all…  

In the midst of digging through her clothes, Ava could hear a shuffling noise surfacing on the outside of the closet door. She stopped grabbing clothes and leaned over to listen to the shuffling. Desean was up to something. Ava took a deep breath. She hoped he would make things easy and allow her to leave for the night without putting up a fight, but she knew better. Nothing about Desean was easy. Seconds later, the shuffling nose stopped. Ava raised a curious eyebrow, noticing the bedroom was now extremely quiet. “Desean?” she called out to him. Silence.

“Desean????” she called his name again, more firmly this time. Silence again. Her heart sunk into her stomach after realizing he was not answering her calls. Quickly, Ava dropped the clothes in her hand and turned to walk out of the closet and back into the bedroom.

“Desean what the hell???” she called out to him. Looking around the master bedroom, she noticed immediately the room was now empty.

 “I don’t have time for your games!” Ava shouted out loud. She rolled her eyes and quickly decided against chasing after him, knowing that was exactly what he wanted. Ava had made up her mind. She was leaving and there was nothing he could do to change her mind.

Suddenly, Ava froze still as her eyes dropped to the ground next to the door frame leading towards the hallway. Her jaw dropped. “What the fuck???” she cussed. Immediately, Ava’s eyesight fixed on her $100 Louis Vuitton handbag that had been thrown on the floor with all of its contents spilled out.

“Really Desean???” She shouted out, her eyes scanning her personal items that were now a scattered mess all over the ground. Ava knew immediately who was responsible for knocking her purse to the floor. This was no accident. She dropped down to her knees and began scooping up her makeup, her wallet, body sprays and lotion throwing them back into her bag. She cursed to him out loud. “You will never fucking respect me! You won’t respect me until after im gone!!!” She frustratedly threw the last item into her bag, stood to her feet and threw her bag over the shoulder. For a moment, Ava felt as if she were experiencing a life changing moment. Her eyes had been closed for so long, but now, they were open. Desean was going to continue hurting her. He was going to continue making promises without delivering results.

Ava’s eyes rescanned the floor just to make sure she didn’t forget anything. Instantly, she came to the realization that something very valuable was missing… Something she did not recall picking up and putting back inside her purse.

“Where the hell are my car keys???” Ava asked out loud. She scanned the area again with her eyes to make sure she did not overlook them. Her stomach twisted into knots. A sickened feeling invaded her body. Her keys were nowhere in sight. Immediately, Ava burst into a silent panic. “Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!” She began to frantically dig through the purse to see if she dropped them inside without noticing. Once again, she turned up empty. “Oh no! Oh No!” Ava continued shouting over and over again. Removing the strap from around her shoulder, she dumped everything back out on the floor, dropped to her knees and began anxiously searching for her keys. They were not there. She had come up empty.

 “What the fuckkkkk?!” Ava stood to her feet and began to pace the floor. “I always put my keys in my purse!!!” she threw her hands up in the air, frantically looking around the room. Suddenly, Ava halted in place. Her body froze and her eyes widened. The hairs on the back of her neck stood up as she looked towards the door. “Oh my God…” she covered her mouth with her hand. “He didn’t! He didn’t!” Ava shouted. Abruptly, she dashed across the room and ran full speed out of the door. She flew around the corner, ran down the hallway and dashed across the living room towards the front door. She ran quickly, afraid if she moved too slow he would already be gone.

“Desean!!!” Ava screamed his name to the top of her lungs as she ran through the house dodging furniture. Her vision was blinded by her anxiety. He didn’t! He didn’t! He didn’t! Ava continued chanting inside her head. She whipped open the front door and ran outside onto the porch barefoot. “Desean!!!” She shouted his name again while running down to the driveway.

 “NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Ava’s loud scream pierced throughout the silence of the night as she reached the end of the curb. Unknowingly, she dropped to her knees, falling to the concrete. “NO! NO! NO!” she shouted out again, caring less who could hear her screams. Her eyesight fixed onto the empty parking space where her car usually sat. “He didn’t!!! He didn’t!!!  I can’t believe he did this!!!” Her body was trembling. For a moment, she felt as if she were about to collapse. “He took my car! He took my fucking car!!!” Ava stared at the empty parking space in complete bewilderment. She felt she were about to throw up, looking up the street hoping to catch sight of him.

“I can’t believe this!” with shaky, buckled knees, Ava stood to her feet. She continued to stare down the street, hoping he would come to his senses and return. So far, nothing.

“What do I doooooo now?” Ava spoke out loud to herself as she grabbed a lock of her hair. Her body was in a state of shock. Desean had done some crazy shit in the past, but she couldn’t believe he had taken taking things this far. He had never done anything this fucking insane.

 “I’ve got to get out of here... I’ve got to go before he gets back….”

Ava composed herself after realizing she still had to leave with or without her vehicle. Desean would have done anything in his power to keep her locked away inside his mental prison. Ava refused to give him that power no matter what monkey ranches he threw at her. Including grand theft auto.

   I have to get out of here! I have to leave before this man hurts me! This time is different… This time I cannot come back…. 

Picking her jaw up from the ground, Ava hurriedly dashed back to the house and back inside to finish packing her clothes before Desean returned with a vengeance.

 

 

 

Chapter 7

 Chapter 7.

 

“Thank you, girl! Thank you so much for bringing me out tonight! I really needed this. I don’t know how I could ever repay you.”

The light breeze brushed Ava’s long silky black hair over her shoulders as she turned to flash a half smile. The night was young and the area was crowded. Ava stood in line waiting at the entrance of Club Whiskeys. It was a Saturday night and the crowd had begun to arrive. The line was long, stretched all the way around the building. Luckily, Ava was able to skip the wait because she was an employee. She stood next to her best friend Jade waiting for the security guard to finish patting the couple down in front in them. Ava smiled over her shoulder. “I told you girl, it’s no problem. It’s the least I could do for you chauffeuring me around while my car is getting repaired. I really appreciate it.” Ava thanked her then turned back around after immediately turning nauseous. Ava hated lying to Jade. Once upon a time, she used to tell that woman everything. But things were different now and after living in secret for so many years, Ava had grown used to putting up a front. She sighed silently. Last night was still a blur. A nightmare that she had yet to wake up from. I don’t know what to do… I feel so misguided… Even though I am not there, I still feel trapped…..

 “Of course, Hazel!” Jade spoke excitedly snapping her out of her daze.  “Whenever you need me, just call me, you know I’m there. That’s what friends are for!” her tone was bright and chipper. Her mood was upbeat and perky which was a surprise. Jade didn’t appear as if she was going through a break up at all. Her hair was freshly curled spilling in beautiful waves cascading down her back. Her makeup was pressed to perfection and her outfit was new with the price tags still attached. “Tell me the truth, what do you think?” Jade asked while turning to the side, hinting for Ava to examine her outfit. Ava turned to look at her. Little did she know, she had already checked her out. Jade’s dress was made from purple and white zebra-stripe print fabric.  It had a short layered skirt with a V-line waist and bell-shaped sleeves. Her friend was gorgeous in almost anything she wore but in all the honesty, the dress wasn’t Ava’s style. She didn’t dare say it out loud. “You look hot!” she complimented her.

Jade laughed while rolling her eyes, knowing Ava was being dramatic. “Sureeee… Everybody can’t wear backless dresses and look good like you do.” She referenced to Ava’s outfit, which was simple but absolutely stunning.  Ava wore a vanilla cream spaghetti strapped dress which exposed her back, hips and long curvaceous legs. Her hair was bone straight and neatly pressed falling down her back. Ava chuckled and waved her hand, brushing her off. “Whatever, your body is just as fine as mines.” They both stepped forward towards the door after the couple ahead of them proceeded inside. Ava took the initiative to step up first. “Hey ya’ll!” she spoke in a friendly tone as she waved, greeting the 4 tall security guards that stood guarding the door.   She motioned over her shoulder towards Jade walking in behind her. “This is my girl, she is with me…” she spoke confidently.

Security nodded his head and moved to the side, allowing them to proceed into the club without paying or being patted down. Ava smiled and waved over her shoulder, instructing Jade to follow her in. Together, both ladies walked up the stairs and into the main area of the club.

“I would like to get to know you baby

Like to get under your sexy body

I would like to get to know you baby

Like to get under your sexy body”

The reggae song boomed from the speakers as they entered the club. “Damn!” Ava shouted out over the music. She looked around immediately realizing how packed the place was. Filled from wall to wall. The dancefloor was filled with people and the bar had been swamped.

“Damn!” Jade echoed her while looking around. “It’s soooo many people in here!” she shouted into her ear over the music.

“I know!” Ava shouted back at her. “Come on, follow me.” She reached back and grabbed a hold of her wrist so she could not lose her in the crowd. Together, they began to walk, politely brushing past large groups of people attempting to make their way through. “Excuse me!” Ava shouted while leading the way. They walked deep into the club, pasts the main area and towards the bar. It was hot and musty inside. The typical large and spacious club felt extremely small and cramped tonight. She glanced over her shoulder, noticing Jade’s extreme discomfort. Once reaching the bar, they both emerged from the crowd and quickly walked around the counter away from the swarm of people. “Come on, we can hang out back here.” They both walked to a clear area behind the bar.

“Damn, Hazel, you didn’t tell me it’s crowded like this in here….” Jade spoke while lightly fanning herself with her hand after becoming flustered.
Ava shrugged her shoulders and retrieved two bar stools for the ladies to sit on. “It’s a hit or miss. Some nights we’re slow. Nights like this, it’s busy as hell…” she placed the stools next to each other, both ladies having a seat facing the crowd.

“Hey Hazel! Hazel! Baby girl” as soon as she sat down, Ava noticed a man waving at her on the opposite end of the bar. She glanced over at him, noticing he was flagging her down with a 20-dollar bill in his hand. “I’m so glad you’re here! Can I get a drink??? A patron mixed with sprite???”

Ava smiled. The man was a regular customer and she had seen him plenty of times before. She innocently held her hands up in the air.  “Sorry, no can do… I’m not working tonight David.” She called the man by his name.

He frowned, visibly unhappy with her answer. David pointed towards the opposite end of the bar which had a line wrapped around the corner. “Come on! Do you see how crowded it is???” he asked her in an aggravated tone. Ava’s eyes followed in the direction he was pointing. She glanced over at her coworker Sweat Pea who was on the opposite end of the bar. She was the only other bartender on duty and was also extremely hard to miss. Sweet Pea was a tall woman. About 6 feet with wide hips and brightly colored lime green hair. She appeared busy as she rushed back and forth in-between collecting money and passing out drinks. Sweet Pea worked so quickly, she didn’t even notice Ava and Jade sitting on the opposite end examining her. Taking the hint, the man shuffled away to the other side hurrying to get a spot in line before it grew even longer. After he was gone, Ava turned to Jade. “Is this okay???” she asked, motioning towards the clear area.

Jade smiled and nodded. She rotated her hips in her bar stool as she danced to the song playing from the speakers.

“I want a dude with the wickedest slam,

I need a one, two, three hour man

I want a dude who will tie me to the fan,

A thug that can handle his biz like a man”

Quickly, her best friend lost herself in the music. She began dancing and twirling in her chair, grinding her hips to the beat. Ava smiled while watching her, secretly happy to see her let loose and have fun for once. Theodore had kept her cooped up in the house for so many years. It was nice to see her out enjoying herself for once.

“That wasn’t very nice Hazel…..” Suddenly, Ava heard another male voice call out to her. She looked up, immediately locking eyes with a man who casually leaned across the bar staring at her. He smiled as soon as they laid eyes on each other her. Slowly, Ava’s lips crept into a smile as she smiled back. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and nervously broke eye contact. “What???” she asked, shrugging her shoulders as if she did nothing wrong.

The man chuckled. “I’m sure you could have made his drink….” He laughed while teasing her.

Ava rolled her eyes. She shifted her weight and stood from her chair, walking over to the bar to where he was leaned. “What do you want this time, Blake???” she asked in a playful tone while eyeing him. Blake smiled back at her as she approached, his deep dimples breaking through the surface of his cheeks.  

“Nothing... I saw you walk in. Just thought I would say Hi.”

Ava titled her head to the side and crossed her arms over her chest. “Hmmmm…” she mumbled underneath her breath. “Okay then… Hi…” she greeted him dramatically. He chuckled at her sarcasm, running his fingers down the edge of his mustache. “Alright then, I won’t bother you. It’s a little crowded, I think I’m going to head out of here.”

Unknowingly, Ava’s face twisted in disappointment. Playfully, she laughed it off. “Aww... So early? The fun is just getting started.”

Blake smirked while taking one last look around the club. “Not for me… I’m going to Maxie’s.” he referenced a small bar that was right around the block about 5 minutes away. Ava raised an eyebrow, wandering why the hell he would leave the hottest spot in Wilmington to go to a run down, hole in the wall bar joint. “Maxie’s???” she repeated him.

He nodded his head. “Yep… It’s chill and relaxed… and there’s more than one bartender.” Blake smirked after throwing subliminal jabs at her. She shook her head, watching him as he winked at her one last time before turning and disappearing into the crowd. Immediately, she noticed several women around the room staring him down giving him the side eye as he brushed past. As usual, Blake didn’t pay attention to any of them. Ava stood for a second, watching him walking away shaking her head. He’s got jokes I see….

She turned back to Jade who was no longer dancing. She was now sitting still on the bar stool still as a rock. Jade stared straight forward into the crowd with her jaw hanging open as if she just seen a ghost. Ava shot her a crazy look as she approached her. “Um…Hellooooo?” she waived her hand in front of her face.

As if snapping out of a day dream, Jade immediately became alert as she straightened her posture in her seat. “What??? Oh… sorry….” She nervously blushed while gathering herself together. Ava raised an eyebrow, keeping a close eye on her as she sat down on the stool. “I thought something was wrong…”

Quickly, Jade shook her head. “No, girl I’m fine… Who was that??? That guy that you were talking to at the bar????” she asked eagerly.

Ava glanced over at her, her heart skipping a beat. “Who are you talking about??? Blake???” she asked.

Jade became more specific. “That man you were just talking to… The one with the dimples….”

Ava knew exactly who she was talking about. Hesitantly, she nodded her head. “Oh…” she began to fidget with her fingernail. “Um…yeahhhh… that’s Blake. You know him???” she asked.

Quickly, Jade shook her head. “No… I don’t… but I damn sure would like to….”

Ava looked over, her jaw dropping in surprise. “Come again???” she asked her to repeat herself.

Jade smacked her lips and playfully shoved her arm. “Come on girl! Who is he? Is he married? Is he single? What’s the tea????”

Ava stared at her completely caught off guard. “Ummm…” she stammered, unsure how to answer that question. She couldn’t tell if she were being serious or not. She eyed her closely. “You for real??? You’re interested in him???” she couldn’t help but ask in a surprised tone, making sure she was hearing things correctly.

Jade shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know about interested, but the guy I just saw was fine as hell! You have to give me his number…”

Ava continued to stare, examining Jade’s expression which was serious. She was shocked by her persistence. It had come out of nowhere like a zombie rising from the dead.   “Wow…” she murmured. “Sorry, I guess I didn’t think you were ready to move on... So soon….”

Jade laughed and rolled her eyes. “Come on Hazel. Let’s be serious. I will be 31 this summer. I’m not getting any younger!”

Ava turned to her and raised an eyebrow. Jade’s expression was serious. “Blake is a really close friend of me... Extremely close…” she eyed her. “If you’re serious about talking to him, I can hook you guys up. But do you really think you’re ready for that???”

Jade smiled. Instead of verbally responding, she pressed her lips together, smiled and nodded her head like a school girl begging for a piece of candy. Ava stared at her in silence. For some reason, she was hesitating. Ava had history with Blake. A long rap sheet of buried feelings that Jade would probably not understand. A huge part of her did not want to explain it. But then again, she knew she was just being overprotective. This territory was not hers to protect. Blake was a good man. Jade was a good woman.  Who was she to stand in their way? Ava took a deep breath, processing what she was about to get herself involved in. I’m no matchmaker… I can’t believe I’m about to do this. God please don’t let this backfire on me…

“Alright then.” She suddenly placed her feet to the floor and stood up from the chair. “Let’s go.” She instructed her to stand. Ava caught Jade by surprise. She followed her with her eyes and quickly stood up after her. “Where we going???” Jade asked in a confused tone.

Ava smirked over her shoulder while falling into step towards the opposite side of the bar. “We’re going to Maxie’s…”

 

Chapter 8.

Chapter 8.

 

Maxie’s carried a dark, gloomy and depressing appearance on the outside. Large stones and sandstone pillars made up most of the building's outer structure. Ava and Jade stood closely together, gazing up at the two-story building contemplating whether or not they wanted to go in. The place looked deserted as if it had sat abandoned for years. It was hard to see through the small, stained glass windows but music could be heard from the outside. Ava glanced over at Jade, who nervously switched her weight from one foot to another. Her confidence had worn quickly. Ava placed a hand on her shaky shoulder. “You alright?” she asked.

Jade looked over. She nervously laughed and waved her hand. “Who me??? Girl, I’m fine!” she spoke unconvincingly. “It’s a little chilly out here.” She shuddered, dramatically rubbing her bare shoulders to support her claim. Ava smirked and rolled her eyes. It was August and almost 80 degrees out. “Sure.” She answered sarcastically. “Well, come on… Let’s go in…” she stepped forward and walked up the curb towards the door. Slowly, Jade followed behind her. Ava led the way and reached for the doorknob, having no idea what she was about to walk into. She had only been to Maxie’s one time which was years ago when she was in college. A lot had changed now and she and didn’t know what to expect walking inside. Quickly, Ava pushed open the heavy metallic door.

 Immediately upon entering the room, they were welcomed by the aroma of pipe tobacco, cigar smoke and fried chicken floating throughout the room. The large metal door slammed shut behind them as they stood at the entrance. Both ladies looked around, observing their surroundings. It was a lot better looking on the inside than it was on the outside. A decorative light fixture that changed colors dramatically lit up the club. The walls were decorated with family photos and sports memorabilia. The tables and floors were neatly polished. As the saying goes, never judge a good by its cover. Although the outside had not received much up keeping, the inside was neatly maintained as if it had been well taken care of for years.

Together both ladies began to walk inside the club. The walk way was clear, which gave them much more room to maneuver unlike Whiskey’s. Ava looked around, glancing at all of the tables which were filled. It didn’t take long for her to notice the men around the room gawking at them as they sashayed side by side almost in sync. Slowly, her lips curved into a smile. Ava and Jade had caught every man in the room’s eye. Including the women who stared in envy before rolling their eyes and turning their heads as they passed their table. It’s as if the entire room was on pause. Ava couldn’t lie, she loved the attention she received whenever she walked into a room. Her presence made a statement wherever she went.

While walking, Ava noticed a table of older fellows huddled together watching them as they got closer. They all appeared older, possibly in their 40’s or 50’s, all dressed in matching leather motorcycle jackets. They practically drooled on the table as they walked past.

“Damn…” one of the fellows bravely spoke out to them. “I think I just saw two angels walk past me…” he complimented them. Ava smiled politely. Jade nervously blushed. She flirtatiously waved at them, although none of the men were her type. “Thank you.” She winked and continued walking before they could howl more compliments at her.

Suddenly, Ava stopped in her tracks. She halted in place, grabbing a hold of Jade’s wrist, stopping her also. “What???” Jade asked, wandering why she had been stopped her in her tracks. Immediately, Ava’s eyes locked gazes with a familiar face staring at her from across the room. She took a deep breath then leaned over and whispered. “There he is…” she referenced to a table that was all the way at the back of the club.

Finally Jade caught the hint. Ava turned towards her, noticing almost immediately Jade was about to panic. She fidgeted with her fingernails and nervously rocked her body back and forth. “What do I do, Hazel??? What do I say??? How is my hair???” she began talking quickly, her nervousness beginning to kick in. Ava reached forward and brushed a few fly away’s into place. She smirked at her. “You look great…” she reassured her. “Don’t worry about a thing. Blake is very approachable, trust me... Just be yourself and pretend you are not nervous.” She reached forward and grabbed her wrist, deciding it was either now or never. Blake had already spotted them from across the room. There was no use in beating around the bush. “Come on…” without wasting any additional time, Ava fell into step towards his table, pulling Jade closely along behind her. They walked across the room with Blake staring at them intensely as they got closer to him. He had not taken his focus off of them since they made eye contact. Ava stared back, refusing to break her gaze. His jaw clenched as he watched. Blake always had an intensified gaze in his eyes, but Ava knew just how to handle him. He casually sat at a pub styled table in the back of the room accompanied by a young man sitting next to him. Finally, both ladies approached the table.

“Funny seeing you here…” Ava spoke sarcastically while greeting him.

Blake smirked. He held a bottle of Budweiser in his right hand. He took a swig before nodding his head at her. “Real funny…” he responded.

Ava batted her eyelashes, preparing to work her magic on him. “I hope we are not interrupting…” she hinted while looking over at the man sitting at the table with him.

“Oh, right…” Blake motioned over towards him. “This is my boy, Lance….”

Ava turned to the man, quickly examining him before he opened his lips to greet her. Surprisingly, Lance wasn’t a bad looking guy by far. He had long, honey brown dreadlocks, light grey eyes and smooth toned skin. Ava couldn’t lie, he was good looking. Back in her single days, she may have checked him out. But tonight, she was here for one thing only.

“Lance, this is Ava….” Blake interrupted her thoughts while introducing he two. Lance smiled, reached forward and politely shook Ava’s hand. Peeping over her shoulder, Blake eyed Jade nervously hiding behind Ava’s 5’7 frame. “And I’m not sure who this is…” he spoke with a raised eyebrow, scanning her from head to toe without hiding his curiousness. Ava stepped to the side, removing her body as a shield. “This is my friend, Jade…” she extended her arm towards her. In return, Jade stood awkwardly, her legs shaking as she nervously waived. “Hello…” she whispered underneath her breath.

Ava slyly rolled her eyes, wishing Jade would at least pretend to have confidence. She gathered herself together and flashed another weak smile. “Well… is there room at this table for two more???” Ava asked, motioning towards the two empty seats.

Blake smiled a very attractive smile. He nodded his head. “Of course.” He held his hand out, inviting them to sit down. Eagerly, Ava stepped forward and took a seat in the stool next to Lance. She switched glances with Jade, silently hinting for her to sit in the chair next to Blake. She obeyed, both ladies having a seat in-between the two men. Ava glanced over at Blake, flashing him a mischievous smile. He eyed her, visibly sensing she was up to something. “So what’s up?” he asked brazenly.  Ava hesitated before she answered, glancing in-between Blake and Lance who both awaited an answer. She ran her tongue across her pearly white teeth before leaning forward in her chair. “Why does something have to be up?” Blake chucked, obviously picking up on her game.  “You must have forgotten… I know you, Hazel.” He narrowed his eyes at her even more, attempting to break her down. In return, Ava smiled even wider. “Well….” She cleared her throat, while looking over at Jade. Ava eyed her, hinting she was about to spill the beans. Immediately, the expression on Jades face changed, turning even more nervous than before. She looked away, avoiding eye contact as Ava prepared to put her on the spot. Her nervousness did not stop her.

“We are here for a reason…actually…” she smirked while watching the curious expression spread across Blake’s face. He raised an eyebrow. “Oh really??? And what would that reason be???” he asked curiously.

Again, Ava cleared her throat before speaking as if she were about to make a major announcement. She smiled and then bravely extended her hand across the table, reaching towards Jade. “I don’t remember if I formally introduced the two of you…” she motioned her hand in-between the pair. “Blake…This is Jade… Jade… This is Blake.” She winked at him while giving him subliminal hints. Ava didn’t want to be too upfront and scare him off. She looked over, noticing that Jade had finally glanced into his direction to make eye contact. Slowly but surely, Blake was catching up to speed. He too glanced over, the two finally looking at each other for what felt like the first time.

“Hello…”Jade whispered nervously, her brightly colored skin turning a blush red. Smoothly, Blake greeted her back. “Hello…” he repeated her.

Ava watched, with a huge grin on her face. She leaned forward. “Blake… Have I ever told you that my friend Jade here is newly single???” she asked slyly, pulling as many tricks out of her sleeve as possible. Blake looked over at Ava, shaking his head and laughing. He knew exactly what she was doing. Truth be told, she had done this before. Plenty of times. Ava attempted to hook Blake up before. More than once actually. The women she picked were always stunning, physically fit and intellectual ladies with good grades and good conversation. For some reason, her efforts never worked. Blake was that fish in the sea that would never take the bait no matter how many times she reeled it at him. She hoped maybe this time would be different. This wasn’t college. Her intentions were pure with Jade. Ava examined the look on his face. He didn’t appear too enthusiastic or excited, but he continued to smile. “So, what does that mean exactly???” he asked a very specific question.

Ava switched her vision to Jade. She gave her a look, hinting for her to stop being quiet and speak up. Jade caught the message. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and anxiously looked over at Blake. “I’m sorry…” she finally spoke out loud. “I’m extremely nervous…” Jade held up her hands, showing off how shaky they were.

Blake glanced down at her hands. He laughed then looked back up at her. “I can tell….” He chuckled.  

Jade blushed even deeper. She looked away again. “Sorry…. I just got out of a bad relationship and this is my first night out in a while... I guess I’m out of my comfort zone.” Jade spoke shamefully, as if she were embarrassed.

“Hmmm…” Blake toyed with his mustache while watching Jade closely. He took no shame in examining her, glancing at her hair, her skin and her fingernails. After a few seconds, he spoke again. “So… what’s making you uncomfortable???”.

Ava noticed Jades breathing was heavy. She was a nervous wreck and Blake was about to close in on her. Anxiously, she shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know…” Jade looked up, noticing everyone at the table was staring at her waiting for her to say something. She bit her bottom lip, her eyes dropping into her lap. “I feel like all eyes are on me…” she laughed jokingly.

Blake glanced around the table, noticing Ava and Lance were extremely intrigued by what she had to say. He laughed. “I see…” Blake turned his body in his chair towards her. “Well, what do you say we get our own table???”

Ava’s jaw dropped but she quickly caught it before anyone noticed. Jade too looked shocked by his request as if she were not expecting it at all. “Ummmm…” she stammered in response.

Blake laughed calmly. He could tell he had caught her off guard. “Sorry. That’s only if you want to….

Hurriedly, she wasted no time to answer. “No, no, no I do… I definitely do…”

Ava continued to watch silently, in complete disbelief this encounter was going so well so quickly. She had been convinced it would take a lot of persuading to get these two together. But obviously, she was wrong.

Suddenly, Blake looked over at Ava. She flinched, his sudden eye contact snapping her out of her daze. “Hazel, do you mind if I steal your girl for a few???” he asked her with a smirk in the center of his face.

“Uhhhh…” Ava also stammered. She shook her head quickly, gathering herself together. “Sure, sure no problem.” She waved her hand giving him her approval.

Blake smiled at her again, shooting her an intense gaze. “While you’re at it,” he leaned over the table and whispered directly at her. “Maybe you can get to know my boy Lance while we’re gone… he’s a good guy. And he’s single…”
 Blake winked at her while hinting towards his friend who sat quietly next to her. Ava rolled her eyes. “Oh, please.” Her tone was dramatic as she whispered back across the table. “You know I have a boyfriend…” she pretended to answer with confidence, although she had none when it came to her relationship. Ava had been in denial. Instead of confronting the truth, she pushed everything into the back of her mind as if nothing were happening. Although Lance was attractive, Ava wasn’t attracted and now was not the place or the time to be checking for anyone new.

Blake shook his head. “Yeah, alright” he answered her sarcastically. He smirked at her one last time before turning to Jade and extending his hand towards her. “May I?” he asked in a smooth seductive voice.

Jade blushed even more. She nodded her head and placed her hand into his. “Of course you may…” she spoke with a little bit more confidence this time. Politely, Blake helped her stand from the chair and walked her around the table. Together, they both trailed around Ava and Lance and fell into step towards the walkway heading for an empty table. They located one that sat far across the room in a corner far away from earshot. Ava watched, noticing that Blake held Jade’s hand the entire way. She watched them walk hand in hand disappearing around the corner. Suddenly, her smirk faded. It didn’t take long for her to realize she could no longer hear what they were saying. Ava sighed. She wasn’t against the two having alone time but definitely was not expecting it this soon into the introduction. She shook her head, pushing those feelings into the back of her mind after coming to the conclusion that Jade was a grown woman and could handle her own. She could not monitor the entire conversation no matter how badly she wanted to. Their table was very well hidden around a secluded corner. She couldn’t even read their lips so she could make out what they were saying. She couldn’t do anything… She was completely out of control now…

“You okay???” a deep voice suddenly interrupted her thoughts.

Ava jumped in her seat, the voice startling her. For a second, she had almost forgotten she was not sitting at the table alone. “Huh???” she looked over at the man sitting next to her.

Lance was leaned back in his chair, smiling at her. She made eye contact with him, noticing he was gazing at her in amazement. He stared as if he had never seen a beautiful woman before. The extreme interest plastered on his face was painfully obvious.

He laughed. “Your seemed so disappointed when they walked away….” He chuckled while calling her out.

Ava flinched, taking note that he had been watching her. She sucked her teeth, quickly masking her expression. “Why would I be disappointed?” she asked a question she did not know the answer to. Truth be told, Ava had no idea why she cared what Blake and Jade had to say to each other. It didn’t involve her. She had done her part. But Ava couldn’t help her curiosity. She couldn’t help the desire to ensure Blake was really into Jade and not playing with her emotions. She knew him well. Blake was a nice guy with a big heart. He didn’t believe in rejecting women he wasn’t into and would string her along if he believed it would make her feel better about herself. Jade was fragile. Damaged. Her heart wasn’t ready for that type of rejection. I can’t fall back just yet. Jade will understand and respect my decision to watch them closely. I have to be involved… I have to guide her through this… it’s for her own good…

“Would you like a drink???” once again, Lance interrupted her thoughts.

Ava looked over at him, noticing he was reaching for his wallet so he could call over the waiter. For a second, she stared at him contemplating whether or not she should accept his offer or decline. He stared back at her intensely, gazing into her eyes deeply. She could tell he was interested and she hated being the one to let him down. Ava had a lot on her plate. There was so much in her life she needed to figure out, she didn’t have any space or time to make friends with anyone knew. Damn… he is fine though… If only I was single… Ava took a deep breath, deciding one drink wouldn’t hurt. “Hennessy… with light ice please…”

Lance smiled, visibly eager that she had accepted. He threw his hand up in the air and flagged down the waiter so he could order her drink.

 

Chapter 9.

Chapter 9.

 

“498 Mississippi…499 Mississippi...500!”

Her vision was met by extreme darkness. The room was pitch black. She could only see a tiny beam of light reflecting from the street lights outside the house. Ava blankly stared up at the ceiling, her feet dangling off the love seat sofa as she lay back counting out loud. She had reached the number 500 almost 3 times. Whenever she got there, she would start over.

“1 Mississippi… 2 Mississippi… 3 Mississippi.” Anything to make the time go by fast. It was 4:12 a.m. The house was still and quiet giving Ava an eerie feeling. She hated being home alone. She had made her best efforts to fall asleep, but after a failed attempt and a 45-minute nap, she had awakened and had not been able to fall back into her slumber. Ava knew exactly why she was having trouble sleeping… Jade hadn’t made it home yet...

 It was getting late. The sun would be rising soon and Ava had no idea where her friend had run off to. “20 Mississippi…21 Mississippi…22 Mississippi…” she busied herself while pushing all bad thoughts into the back of her mind. Jade was with someone that she trusted and Ava knew Blake would do nothing to harm her. But she couldn’t help but to be surprised. Apparently, the conversation between the two had gone rather well. Within 1 hour of their private conversation at the bar, Jade had eagerly approached her table to advise she was leaving with him and would be home later tonight. Ava on the other hand had no other choice but to go back to Jade’s house and wait for her to arrive. It had been 4 hours since she left the club and still no sign of her. Ava nervously toyed with a strand of her continuing to stare at the darkened ceiling. Desperately, she hoped Jade would come home soon. She hated sleeping alone and was still a little worried about Desean. He had been calling her non-stop, none of which had been answered. Ava knew it was only right avoiding him but she was afraid he would eventually come after her. Everything still seemed so surreal. It had been a little over 24 hours since she left home and she had no plans on returning anytime soon.  Ava had never seen Desean that way. He had gone off the deep end and she had no idea what he was truly capable of. Picking her brain was silently driving her insane. Ava had no idea where Desean had taken off with her car nor did she know where to begin looking. A strong part of her knew she should bite the bullet and file a police report. But another part of her didn’t want to get the law involved. Ava still had a sensitive spot for the man she once loved. She didn’t want to see him locked up no matter how much in the wrong he truly was.

Suddenly, a key turned in the lock in the front door. Ava perked up, quickly sitting up on the sofa and planting her feet on the floor. Finally, after waiting up all night worried sick, her friend had arrived home. Seconds later, the door pushed open and in walked Jade. She trailed in fashionably late, way later than what Ava expected. Jade shut the door behind her, twisted the lock and immediately reached for the lamp that sat next the entrance on a night stand. The lights flickered on, brightening up the darkened living room.

“Ahhh…” the brightness immediately bothered Ava’s sensitive eyes. She shaded her vision as if she were shading herself from the sun.

“Woops, sorry girl.” Jade quickly apologized. “I almost forgot you were sleeping in the living room.”

Ava rubbed her eyes and stretched, pretending as if she had just awakened from a deep sleep. “No it’s fine.” She spoke in-between a fake yawn. “Long night, huh?” she raised an eyebrow, deciding to jump right into the third degree. Immediately, a wide grin spread across Jade’s cheeks. She sat her bags down on the middle table and walked over to the empty seat next to Ava. She sat down gracefully, a smile still plastered on her face. “Yep... it surely was…” she spoke as if she were barely present. As if she were still floating on cloud 9.

Ava examined her with a raised eyebrow. She couldn’t hide her curiosity and needed to know every single detail. “Soooo….” She spoke dramatically. “What happened??? Spill the tea girl!”

In return, Jade laughed at her friend’s anxiousness. She sat back on the couch and propped her feet up on the middle table.  “Everything was perfect, Hazel…” Jade had not stopped smiling yet. She grinned from ear to ear as she stared up at the ceiling, reminiscing on her night. “Blake is a wonderful man. He’s such a gentleman. And he’s sweet and very intelligent.”

Ava listened with open ears as Jade described how perfect he was. She spoke very highly of him. “So what happened??? Where did you guys go???” Ava couldn’t help but ask. She was fairly surprised when the two decided to leave the bar together. Jade wasn’t the promiscuous type. Picking up women at bars was not Blake’s thing.

Jade smiled. “It was getting noisy in there. I asked him if he wanted to leave…”

Ava’s jaw dropped instantly. She gasped “Really??? You asked him to leave??? And he said yes???” she asked in a surprised tone.

Jade tilted her head to the side, giving her the side eye. “Of course, he said yes. Why wouldn’t he???” she asked curiously.

Ava fell silent. She wanted to warn Jade but she didn’t want to scare her either. Indeed, Blake is a nice guy. He’s drop dead gorgeous, a gentleman and extremely sweet and kind to any woman he meets. But his kind gestures could be misleading. Ava had seen this all before. Her mind reminisced, remembering those women she attempted to hook him up with once upon a time. Several of them had truly fallen head over heels for Blake only to be let down after discovering he wasn’t really interested. She didn’t want that to happen to Jade. She deserved better…

“No reason…” Ava quickly played it off. “Well did you have a good time??? Where did he take you??” Ava asked the next question that she was dying to know. Unknowingly, she held her breath awaiting an answer. It was almost 4 in the morning. Late night hours. Way too late for a woman to be hanging with a man she wasn’t screwing. Ava was probably jumping to conclusions, but she couldn’t help but wonder what type of guy Blake was behind closed doors. Deep down inside, she hoped he had not taken advantage of her.

Jade took a moment before she responded which made Ava even more nervous. Finally, she parted her lips to speak. “We went to the river walk.” She answered, referring to the riverfront board walk which wasn’t too far from her home. Ava took a deep sigh of relief. Her response was the exact response she hoped to hear. He had taken her somewhere public. “That’s nice.” Ava complimented her. “How was it? Did you have fun with him? What do you think of him?” she bombarded Jade with questions. Ava could not mask her curiosity. She had waited up all night and was dying to hear something interesting. Jade smirked. “He’s great. We are going on a second date.” With that being said, she stood to her feet. Ava slowly followed her with her eyes, looking up at her with a curious eye. She could sense Jade was being standoffish and a little secretive about her night with Blake. Although she wanted to badly to pressure her into providing details, she didn’t want to be all up in their business. Ava said she would hook them up. She had done her part. So if the deed had already been complete, she didn’t understand why she was so intrigued.

  Lightly, Jade stretched and began to yawn. “I’m a little tired. Maybe we can talk in the morning.”

Ava kept a straight face attempting to hide her disappointment. Her lips curved into a weak smile. “Sure…” she answered in a fake, accepting tone. Jade knew exactly what she was doing. It wasn’t like her to keep secrets. The real Jade couldn’t hold a bag of water even if she wanted to. She watched as her friend happily skip across the room towards the hallway to head towards her bedroom. “Oh yeah, I almost forgot…” Jade halted in her tracks. She turned towards Ava. “Blake told me to let you know Lance was really feeling you. He would like to go out again…”

Jade did not respond immediately. Instead, she nodded her head. “Hmmmm….” She thought about Lance and couldn’t deny the fact he was a pretty intelligent guy. They had engaged in a conversation after being left alone at the table and Ava had come to discover they had a lot in common. Lance was a 34-year-old English professor at Wilmington University.  Surprisingly, he was single, never married and did not have any children. Based upon his physical and moral attributes, Lance had it going on. He was the entire package and had everything a woman could want. But Ava was not interested in pursuing anything. She had a lot to figure out in her life and could not afford any distractions. “Thanks for letting me know…” she answered without giving any additional detail.

Jade eyed her suspiciously. She smirked while turning her back. “No problem….” she headed down the hallway towards her room. “Oh one more thing…” Jade shouted over her shoulder. “You need to call your man whenever you get a chance. Desean has been blowing up my phone like crazy!”

Instantly, the mention of his name made her heart drop into her stomach. Ava swallowed the huge lump in her throat as Jade disappeared around the corner into her bedroom, having no idea how uneasy she just made her feel. Just the thought of Desean calling sent Ava into a mental frenzy. She had immediately placed his number on the blocked list and should have known it would only be a matter of time before he began calling Jade’s phone. Taking a deep breath, Ava plopped her body back down on the sofa as her anxiety took over her body. Desean was not a dumb man. He knew where she was hiding out. She couldn’t hide forever. He was going to come looking and Ava did not want to wait around for him to arrive. Her heart beat out of her chest as she silently mapped out a plan… I have to figure out something… I have to figure out what I’m going to do… Ava silently chanted inside her head. Desean will never allow me to walk out of his life… I have to make up my mind… I have to escape this… Or else I will be stuck forever… Ava turned on her side, her mind wandering a million miles per minute. I have to get my car. I have to get the rest of my things out of that house. There’s no more contemplating… No more waiting... It’s either now or never…  I have to escape this relationship if I want to make it out alive… I can no longer allow him to put fear in my heart… I have to leave if it’s the last thing I do…

 

 

 

Chapter 10.

Chapter 10.

 

“We talked about everything, Hazel. Our childhood memories. Our favorite movies. Our favorite foods. His passion is photography and he wants to be a professional photo and videographer. Did you know that he is a fan of Japanese Anime? His favorite album to listen to in the winter time is Electric Lady land by Jimi Hendrix. He’s so in touch with his intellectual side.” Jade rambled as she went down the list, speaking in a chipper, girly tone while describing the man of her dreams. Ava strolled alongside her. Her hands were stuck in her back pocket as she trailed down the sidewalk, staring down at her feet as they walked. Jade had been blabbering since they parked the car about a block away. She couldn’t stop talking about how great Blake was. Everything was Blake this, Blake that. Ava smiled then secretly looked to the side and rolled her eyes. Her excitement was great but slightly draining. They had been walking close to 10 minutes now and her feet were beginning to cramp. It was Jade’s idea to take the lengthy scroll. If it were up to Ava, she would have parked closer to the building. But Jade was persistent on making a grand entrance and convinced her to park somewhere they could not be easily spotted. Together, they walked down the street approaching the lightened building across the street. “Finally, we are here…” Ava spoke tiringly while glancing up at the large, tall building towering over them. The brightly lit sign read “The pointe 14 in large bold letters. The pointe 14 was newly built, modernly up to date and one of the most popular Movie theaters in Wilmington. It wasn’t too crowded which was a good thing. Ava had never been to the theater before and she had not expected her first time to be underneath these circumstances. She looked over at Jade. “Is he here yet?” she asked.

Jade looked around and scanned the small crowd. “He said he would be here 30 minutes before the movie starts.” She glanced down at her watch, checking for the time. “He should definitely be here by now.”

Ava too began looking around, hoping he was a man of his word and actually showed up on time. Suddenly, Ava stopped. In an instant, she froze still while making eye contact with someone staring at her from across the parking lot. She leaned in, her vision focusing on the familiar face. Jade on the other hand, was busy looking everywhere else and had not noticed him just yet. But Ava noticed him. And in return, he noticed her too. For some reason, Ava didn’t say anything or call out to him right away because he did not make any sudden movements. Blake stared at her from across the parking lot, looking directly at Ava making direct eye contact.  They stared for at least 10 seconds before Ava came to the realization that he had not taken his eyes off of her. What the hell is he looking at????  She asked inside her head. As usual, his gaze was intense. At least 30 seconds went by before Ava realized she was in a daze. Shaking herself out of her trance, Ava turned and nudged Jade, finally grabbing her attention. “I see Blake. He’s over there.” She pointed in his direction. Blake stood across the street standing by the entrance. He smiled and waved after finally making eye contact with Jade. Ava examined him from a distance. He wore a pair of faded jeans, a button down black shirt and matching black shoes. He was dressed casual, but extremely handsome in his outfit. Ava tried not to notice how good he looked, but it was inevitable. Blake was a very attractive man. He had always been. She had done a great job paying no attention to it back in college, but now his attraction was becoming harder and harder to ignore at the wrong damn time. Quickly, she pushed those thoughts into the back of her mind and motioned for Jade to follow her. “You ready?” she asked.

Jade winked and dramatically flipped her freshly washed hair over her shoulder. “As ready as I will ever be.” She spoke with more confidence than she had last night. Ava smirked. She had never seen Jade this eager to meet someone. Although Ava still was not 100% convinced on her and Blake, she was happy for Jade and glad she was finally showing interest in someone. Getting rid of that bad seed and starting something new in her life was the exact thing Jade needed… If only… If only it were as easy for me as it were for Jade…If only I took my own advice and learned to practice what I preach…If only… .

 “Come on, let’s go.” Ava stepped off the curb and began to walk across the street headed in his direction. Jade followed closely behind her as they trailed up the sidewalk towards the door where he was standing. Ava nervously looked down at her feet, fearing if she looked up she would make eye contact with Blake again. For some reason, the intenseness inside his gaze made her uncomfortable. She didn’t like feeling that way.

Stepping up on the curb, she politely slowed down her pace so Jade could walk ahead of her. Ava held her breath, wandering why the hell she had agreed to come here in the first place. Initially, she believed Lance would be tagging along and had agreed to attend a sympathy date with him for Jade’s sake, but from the looks of things, Blake stood at the entrance alone. She was a third wheel. Together, the ladies approached Blake who stood with a smile on his face as both ladies walked up. His manly aroma floated throughout the night. He wore Clive Christian. A fragrance that had always been one of Ava’s favorites. She shuddered, the smell sending shivers down her spine. Desean never wore cologne… He said it irritates his skin… If only he knew how well a fragrance compliments a man…

“Hello ladies.” He greeted them both, interrupting her thoughts.

Jade eagerly spoke back. “Hello.” She smiled from ear to ear, flashing her pearly white teeth. Ava turned her head, deciding it would be rude not to greet him. She smiled a half smile. “Hey Blake.” She greeted him casually.

In response, Blake nodded his head at her. “Hello, Hazel…” he spoke in a casual tone. “I wasn’t expecting to see you here.”

Her body quickly stiffened. She froze, her stomach twisting into knots upon hearing her presence wasn’t expected. “Oh really?” she looked back and forth in-between Jade and Blake. “I thought this was a double date... Jade said Lance would be here.” She shot her a crazy look wandering what the hell was going on.

“Uhhh….” Jade stammered. She began to tap her foot on the concrete as she looked over at Blake. “I thought you mentioned it… I thought you said Lance would be coming…” she quickly turned towards him hoping he would back her up.

   Ava awkwardly stood by, feeling her existence shrink even smaller and smaller by the second. She glanced over at Blake who appeared just as confused as Jade. “Yeah, I mentioned it… But I never set anything in stone… Lance had plans tonight.”

Ava continued to stand by quiet, the embarrassment was written all over her face. Blake looked over at her. “My bad, Hazel. This was all a miscommunication.”

Quickly, Jade jumped into the conversation. “Definitely a miscommunication!” she intervened. “But it’s no problem! We can all go see the movie together!” she spoke in a chipper tone, hoping to do some damage control.

Blake took a deep breath. He dug into his front pockets and retrieved two movie tickets. “Unfortunately, our show is sold out… I just bought the last tickets.”

Immediately, Jades face formed into a frown. She looked over at Ava with a worried expression on her face. Blake stepped forward. “I’m really sorry, Hazel. I can take these back and trade them for a later show so we can all go.”

Ava stood dumbfounded at a loss for words. She had never felt so awkward and out of place in her life. “No, no…” she finally spoke while shaking her head. “No please, don’t do that…” she stopped him.

“Really, Hazel… It’s no problem.” He continued.

“No, please!” she spoke more sternly hoping he would hear the firmness in her voice. She stepped forward. “Go see your movie. Please have a good time. This is your date not mines.” She flashed them a smile, letting them know she would be fine. Blake on the other hand had a disappointed look on his face. Jade appeared worried and nervous as if Ava would be mad at her. But she was not mad. Uneasy, but not mad…

“Are you sure???” he asked, narrowing his gaze at her as if attempting to read her true thoughts. Ava flashed her fakest smile and patted him on the shoulder. “Absolutely.” She lied and began to back away, leaving the two standing there watching her leave. “Blake, please have my girl home at a decent hour.” She spoke jokingly as she waved goodbye. Blake didn’t appear too convinced but he waved anyways. Taking one last look, Ava examined Blake and Jade standing next to each other underneath the large, red sign as they watched her walk away. Blake’s figure was about 6 feet. Jade was around 5’6. They looked good standing next to each other.  Indeed, they would make a good looking, attractive black couple. But looks could be deceiving. For some reason, something felt off. Something didn’t feel right leaving them together…. Ava waved one last time, fighting off her instincts and turned to walk away. Her mind had been playing tricks on her these last few days, causing her to think about things she shouldn’t be thinking about. Things she never would have thought of before. After 11 years of constant badgering, Ava had finally fallen victim to a curious mind. What’s so different this time??? I’ve hooked Blake up with plenty of women! Why do I care??? Why am I second guessing hooking him up with Jade??? Why do I care so much??? Ava rolled her eyes. She had too much on her plate right now and not enough room to worry about a man that wasn’t hers. I’m just being overprotective… They are both my friends… I have to let it go… I have to take my mind off of it…. Taking a deep breath, she stuck her hands in her back pocket and began the long walk back down the street heading back to her parked car.

 

 

 

 

Chapter 11.

Chapter 11.

 

Knock Knock Knock

 

 Ava jolted awake as the sound of a knock at the front door erupted throughout the room. The bright sunlight beamed into the living room, placing a nice morning glow around the house. Ava rubbed her sleepy eyes and yawned. It was early in the morning. She knew because she could still hear the birds chirping outside the windows.

Knock knock knock.

Ava stretched and threw her legs over the sofa. She hated answering the door when Jade wasn’t home but she did anyways. She stood, pulled her pajama shorts out of her ass and began to walk towards the door to see who was knocking. She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror as she approached the foyer. Her hair was a scrambled mess on the top of her head. She had finally gotten a good rest last night and could care less what she looked like. Ava wasn’t trying to impress anyone and was not concerned what others thought of her. Reaching for the door, she twisted the lock, removed the chain and swung it open without asking who it was.

Immediately, her eyes widened upon seeing who was standing on the porch smiling at her. “Blake!” she shouted out in a startled tone. Immediately, Ava used her hand to cover up her cleavage which was extremely visible in the two-piece pajama set she was wearing. She used her other hand to brush down her hair sticking up on the top of her head. “Blake what are you doing here???” she shrieked.

Blake smiled casually at her. He stood on the other side of the door dressed in all-black with a gold Jesus chain hanging from his neck. Ava wasn’t expecting to see him.

“Hello, Hazel…” he greeted her calmly.

In return, Ava’s breathing was heavy. She stared at him as if she were staring at a ghost, confused why he was here. “What’s up???” she asked eagerly.  “Jade isn’t here… She left for work over an hour ago.” She was halfway out of breath while speaking.

Blake nodded his head. He looked up at her and smiled. “I wasn’t here to see Jade.”

Immediately, her heart stopped. Her entire body began to waver. “You weren’t???” she asked with wide eyes.

Blake didn’t respond. Instead, he stepped closer while being careful not to step in too close. “I felt really bad about last night.”

Ava continued to stare at him with an unnerved look on her face. “Okay???? And???” she asked dramatically. “You couldn’t call me and tell me that??? Why are you here???” she jumped straight to the point, hoping he had a good damn answer for showing up at her best friend’s house while she was not home. Blake cleared his throat as if attempting to buy time. They both went silent, neither speaking immediately. He gazed into her eyes quietly, practically gaping into her soul. His gaze was intense. The same intensity he gave her last night at the movies. The same gaze from the other night at the bar. Ava shuddered against her will. She could smell his cologne again. The silence and his smell combined was getting to her. She couldn’t lie, he smelled dammit good. So good that it was suddenly beginning to turn her on…

“Stop it! That’s enough!” She abruptly shouted out. Frustratedly, Ava pushed him back onto the porch, stepped out of the house and slammed the door behind her shutting them both outside. She turned to Blake and threw her finger into his face. “What the hell is your problem Blake????” she shouted aggressively. He appeared taken aback by her sudden reaction but it didn’t stop her. “This is just flat out disrespectful! You have no right showing up here unannounced! Tell me why you are here and tell me NOW!”

Blake threw his hands up in surrender. His demeanor was calm. Her shouting didn’t bother him at all. “You know why I’m here Hazel…” he stepped forward, refusing to take his eyes off her. “I’m not giving up on you baby girl… I want you in my life… I want you bad, Hazel…. I can’t stop wanting you… Trust me, I’ve tried….”

Ava gasped. She stepped back, walking slowly and pressed her back against the front door. “What???” Her voice was shaky. Blake’s serious expression did not budge. The further she stepped back the closer he inched his body to hers. “Wha---What did you just say???” she stammered apprehensively.

Blake continued in a deep, seductive voice. “Last night after you left the movie theater, I couldn't stop thinking about you... It's like I couldn't get you off my mind... Hazel, my feelings for you are not going to change…” Blake took one last step. Now, they stood extremely close, their chests lightly brushing together. She had never stood this close to him before. At least not without pulling away. Ava closed her eyes and inhaled his scent as he spoke. “I come to Whiskeys every Thursday night just to see your face…. Even though you never give me the time of day…. I still don’t give up…. I still show up for you…. That’s because I want you just as bad as I wanted you back in college, Hazel… Better yet, I want you even more… I’m done fighting it… I only wish you would stop fighting it too….”

 Ava gasped a second time. She was stunned by his confession. “Wow…” She muttered. She couldn’t form any words. She was completely speechless.

“I know you have a boyfriend…” Blake continued. “But I don’t believe he treats you the way you should be treated… You’re not as happy as you were before you met him…”

Ava’s jaw dropped and her brow furrowed, her body growing hot in anxiety. Blake was speaking facts. Facts she was too embarrassed and ashamed to admit. She looked away nervously.  “You don’t know what you’re talking about…” Ava forced herself to lie out loud.

Blake slipped a finger underneath Ava’s chin, forcing her to look at him again. “Okay fine... you don’t have to tell me about it… but at least tell me one thing Hazel…. Have you ever thought about us? Me and you? At least once???” He licked his lips while still holding the bottom of her chin. Ava was trembling underneath her clothes being this close underneath him. His body heat felt warm and welcoming. His deep, sexy tone was soothing her in ways she didn’t want to be soothed. She replayed his question inside of her head. Have you ever thought about us? Me and you? At least once??? The feeling stirring in the pit of Ava’s stomach was abnormal and unfamiliar. If she claimed she never thought about being with Blake, she would be lying. Ava had grown accustomed to lying.  Whatever feelings she had for him, she ignored them. She pushed them so far into the back of her mind to the point they didn’t exist anymore. And then came Desean. Everything changed when she met him. She had fallen in love with someone for the first time in her life. Desean sheltered her. He was a shellfish, insecure man who was completley threatened by Ava’s dangerously attractive male friend. Once she had been given the ultimatum to end her friendship with Blake, she obliged with no questions asked. Back then, she would have done whatever Desean asked.  Even if it meant removing someone out of her life that actually meant something to her…

Ava took a deep breath and shook those thoughts out of her head. She wasn’t ready to answer that question. She wasn’t ready to begin admitting her truths.  “What about Jade???” Ava changed the subject and began asking about her friend. She had been right all along. Jade was into him way more than he was into her.

Blake sighed. “She’s a good woman… I’m sure there’s a man out there who will take great care of her someday…” Slyly, he continued to stroke her chin which he still held in the palm of his hand. His jaw was clenched as he looked at her, his face appearing as if he were having trouble containing himself. “She’s great… But she’s not the one for me… You are, Hazel… You’re the one…”

A burning sensation immediately filled her chest. A chill ran up her spine that she could not shake. She’s not the one for me. You are, Hazel… You’re the one… She repeated him inside her head, making sure she heard each word correctly.  “Blake… I….” she stumbled over her words again. Ava was overwhelmed and could not find the right sentences to explain how she was feeling. She closed her eyes, deciding quickly now was not the time or the place to dig deep. For heaven’s sake, they stood outside Jade’s house in broad daylight in a place where they could easily be spotted. As if coming to her senses, she backed away after realizing they had been standing way too close for way too long. “Blake… maybe we can talk about this later?” she asked, rushing to end this conversation.

In return, he nodded his head. He cautiously stepped back, creating a fair distance in-between the two. “Can I pick you up tomorrow at 8 o’clock? I would like to cook you a really nice dinner.” He bravely invited her to his place, a condo located off Adams Street which she hadn’t been to in ages. Ava was flabbergasted by his invitation. “Whoa...whoa… slow down.” She held up her hands, beginning to feel smothered by her own anxiety. She motioned for him to stop talking nonsense. “I can’t come to your house! Jade would kill me!” she shouted at him, knowing for sure her friend would be devastated once finding out about all of this. How am I going to tell her??? Jade really really likes him. I should have known better getting myself involved! This is all wrong!

 Blake smacked his lips and shrugged his shoulders. He was not going to let that stop him. “Don’t tell her…” he challenged her, instructing her to keep a secret from the woman she told everything to. Ava was stunned by his request. She thought he had gotten over these feelings years ago.  But clearly, she was wrong for believing that.

“Blake, this is too much for me right now… I’m sorry, but will you please leave??? Before someone spots us???” she pleaded desperately. Jade was at work and shouldn’t arrive until later that afternoon, but she was still paranoid. Blake was disappointed but he nodded his head. Slowly, he began to back away with his hands stuck inside his pocket. “Please, Hazel…” he spoke one last time, making one last attempt. “Tomorrow 8 o’clock. My place. Just think about it… okay?”

Ava stared at him backing away. Instead of answering, she silently nodded her head. She didn’t want to say too much or give him false hopes. He smiled at her one last time. She couldn’t smile back. Instead she stood with a confused expression on her face as Blake turned on his heel and began heading down the narrow walkway towards his truck parked across the street. Holding her breath, Ava peeped her head around the corner of the house to make sure none was around. The coast was clear. No one was outside to witness what just happened. Quickly, she turned back to the door, rushed inside and slammed the door shut, closing herself away from the world before she could be spotted.

 

 

 

 

Chapter 12.

Chapter 12.

 

What am I doing??? What am I doing???  What has gotten over me??? Where am I supposed to go from here? What am I supposed to do??? So many questions. No answers. Ava stood in front of the large black door, her heart racing a million miles per minute as she contemplated her next move. She stood still as a rock, her body could not make any sudden movements. Slowly, Ava turned her head, glancing at her reflection which bounced off a full length sized mirror positioned next to the door. She stared, examining herself from head to toe. Immediately, she began feeling as if she were staring at a stranger. As if she recognized the woman on the other side of the mirror but did not know who she was at all. Tonight, Ava’s hair had been curled in long, beautiful spiral curls that dramatically spilled down her back. The dress she wore covered only a small portion of her shoulders, flowing down into an elegant V-neck exposing her luscious cleavage. Its tight fit gave the outfit a dressy, yet relaxed and grateful look, making her feel extremely elegant and sexy at the same time. Indeed, she was beautiful. But why do I feel so ugly on the inside??? Why do I feel as if something is missing in my life???

Ava sighed, hesitating before she knocked on the door. It was either now or never. She had paid a $30.00 taxi tab to get here and there was no way she would allow that money to go to waste. She held her breath, balled up her fist, and lightly knocked on the door three times.

Knock Knock Knock

Immediately she began feeling as if she were about to have an anxiety attack. Ava stepped back from the door and patiently crossed her arms in front of her, waiting for an answer. Nervously, she switched her weight from one foot to another. She was a nervous wreck, a part of her wanting to turn and run in the opposite direction. What am I doing??? What am I doing???  Why am I here??? Why??? Why??? Why???

Suddenly, the door swung open. Ava jumped in her skin, a ray of light spilling out of the door once it was open. Immediately, her eyes landed on the person standing on the opposite side of the door.

“Hazel!” the voice called out to her in a surprised tone.

In return, she smiled a wide smile. Ava held her hands out, dramatically announcing her arrival. “Hello, Blake…. I’m hereeeeee.” She spoke while grinning.

 “Hazel!” he called her name again obviously in complete shock to see her. “I’m surprised. I wasn’t expecting you like this…What are you doing here???!!!” he asked in a confused tone.

Ava shrugged her shoulders. She nonchalantly played with a lock of her hair, pretending she was not having a silent panic attack. “Wasn’t I invited???” she asked, tilting her head to the side.

In an instant, Blake opened the door even wider. Immediately, Ava’s vision fell down to his outfit which was more casual than what she was used to seeing him in. He wore a white tank top, a pair of striped pajama set pants and men’s bedroom slippers with a cooking towel thrown over his shoulder. Upon him opening the door, Ava could smell the fresh aroma of herbs and spices floating from behind him. She didn’t know what he was cooking, but it smelled damn good.

“Of course you were invited.” He reassured her. “I thought I would be picking you up.”

She laughed. His reaction was the exact reaction she hoped for. “I thought I would return the favor and do a surprise visit.” She narrowed her eyes at him.

“Oh, right.” Blake nodded his head. “I guess that’s fair. Please, come in…” he stepped to the side, allowing her to walk in.  

Ava nodded her head, held her breath and proceeded inside the condo. Once in the door, he shut it behind her, closing them both inside, together alone. She wasted no time looking around, quickly observing that the place had been completed updated and redecorated since the last time she had been here. The condo was equipped with a modern kitchen which was newly renovated and replaced with up to date appliances. The living room was spacious, large and cozy with a large wraparound sofa positioned in the center of the room. Ava nodded her head as she walked deeper into the dining room. She was impressed. The color scheme around the house consisted of blue drapes and lime green wallpaper covering the living room walls. Surprisingly, the two opposite colors meshed very well. She turned and faced an observant Blake who stood watching her as she looked around. Ava flashed a grin at him. “What???” she asked, wandering why he was staring.

He chuckled in-between shaking his head. “I’m surprised, that’s all.” Casually, Blake fell into step across the room and walked back to the kitchen. He peeped his head over the counter and eyed the food cooking on the stove.  Ava watched him closely. He was very attentive to whatever was brewing in the large black pots. All these years, she had no idea Blake could cook. For heaven’s sake, she could not recall the last time a man cooked for her. Desean hadn’t touched a stove in over four years, claiming he was not a man that was made for the kitchen. Foolishly, Ava accepted it. She faithfully prepared breakfast and dinner for him every day without skipping a meal or asking any questions. It was nice to see the roles reversed for once.  

Blake turned back to her and flashed another attractive smile. In return, Ava shuddered. She couldn’t put her finger on it nor did she understand why this was happening so suddenly. It was something about Blake and the way he looked at her that was extremely getting to her now.

“Why do you stare at me like that???” Ava abruptly asked. She couldn’t help the desire to want to know. Immediately, the room grew quiet as the question slipped past her lips. She didn’t mean to blurt it out that way but could not help her curiosity any longer. Blake had fallen silent, which instantly made her regret asking. Maybe she was hallucinating. Maybe she convinced herself into believing something that was not real. Daydreaming was typical of her.  Slowly, Blake began walking towards her. He kept his eyes locked on her, refusing to break contact as he approached. Her eyes widened watching him come closer. For some reason, she could not look away. His gaze was drawing her in.

“Why???” he repeated her in a deep, almost whispering tone.

Ava continued to stare with wide eyes. She did not verbally respond. Instead, she silently nodded her head.

Once again, Blake slipped his finger underneath her chin. The same way he had done yesterday. He tilted her head up, forcing her to look him in the eyes. Ava’s heart rate quickened. She stared up at him in awe while secretly wandering what the hell had gotten into her. Once upon a time, Ava would have never allowed Blake to get this close. She had spent so many years fighting him off, resisting the temptation. But for some reason, her body would not allow her to pull away. She had tried mentally and physically, but she could not…

“Isn’t it obvious, Hazel???” he continued speaking to her in a sexy voice, practically patronizing her. Ava could feel her bones quivering in fear underneath her dress. She hated this feeling that had suddenly come over her. This was not a feeling she was a used to.   Politely, Ava reached up and grabbed his hand, removing it from underneath her chin.

“No, Blake…” her voice was trembling as she spoke. “I don’t get it… I don’t understand what you want from me…”

A disappointed look spread across his face as he drew his hand away and took two steps back. He looked at her as if he were tired of explaining it to her. But there was a lot Blake didn’t know. A lot that he probably wouldn’t understand. “Why do I have to want something from you???” he asked, hitting her with a trick question.

Ava pressed her lips together in fear that she would say something wrong. She remained quiet, allowing him to do the talking.

“For years, I have been here in your corner…” he continued. “I’ve been right here right in front of your face. But you never gave me a fair chance. I did everything, you never accepted me.” Immediately, the memories came rushing back as Blake spoke reminiscing on their past.  “Just when I thought I was getting over you Hazel, you cut me off. You said you didn’t want anything else to do with me… I know your boyfriend put you up to it, so I never got angry with you about it… But I never wanted to lose you…. You didn’t give me an option. You didn’t even give me a chance to be your friend…. I could only buy drinks from you…. That hurt. That hurt bad…”

Her heart flustered with guilt listening to him speak. She could hear the hurt in his voice as he described what happened although he was doing a terrific job at masking it. After all these years, Ava had no idea just how much distress she had actually caused him.  As hard as it was to admit, Blake was telling the truth about everything. She was a horrible person. A horrible friend. Ava took a long deep breath. Her insides were boiling. The urge was becoming harder and harder to fight with each second that passed. She could hear Susan’s voice replaying in the back of her mind. You will feel so much relief once you let it go… Stop holding on… Let it go…. Let go Ava….

 “I left Desean!” she blurted it out in a hurry, being sure to confess quickly before she changed her mind.

Silence.

 The room went quiet. The truth was out now.  Ava stood frozen with her eyes still closed tightly shut. She was too embarrassed to look at him and see the expression on his face.

Blake murmured under his breath but she couldn’t make out what he was saying. Hesitantly, Ava crept her eyes open to look at him. She noticed the shocked look that was now plastered on his face. Obviously, he was thrown off by her confession. There was no undoing what she had started. Ava’s eyes dropped to the floor as she nervously began to tell him everything. “I’ve been lying…. I’ve been lying for a very long time…. I’m not happy with Desean…. In the beginning, I was… but not anymore… He’s not a good person, Blake…” Tears began to well up in her eyes as she explained it but she quickly brushed them away. Ava hadn’t cried since leaving the house and had no intentions on doing it now in front of Blake. He walked directly to where she was standing and planted his feet firmly in front of her. He wasted no time jumping straight to conclusions. “Did he put his hands on you Hazel??? Tell me right now!” he demanded an answer in a stern tone. Blake was growing agitated which didn’t take Ava by surprise. He was a protector. He had always been that way.

 “No…” Ava sulked after finally answering. Blake raised an eyebrow. He didn’t believe her. Quickly, Ava held up her hands in her defense, being quick to reassure him. “I’m serious… he’s never touched me…” she rolled her eyes and shook her head. “He didn’t have to… he’s done other things…”

Blake stepped in even closer. Their bodies were now brushing against each other. He was pressuring her. He gave her a stern look, hinting for her to finish. She did.

“I’ve been staying at Jade’s house because I left him… The other night, he asked me to quit my job and I refused. He got so angry.” Her mind drifted thinking about that night. She could not forget the crazed look on his face when she told him she would continue bartending at the club. She smacked her lips. “That asshole! He told me I will never leave him… And then he stole my keys, hopped in my car and drove off on it… I haven’t seen him since.”

Immediately, Blake’s jaw dropped in astonishment upon hearing her confession. “He did what???!!!” he shouted out in a loud voice, startling her. Ava winced, noticed his fists were balling up by his side. The veins in his forearms were beginning to show.

“Don’t worry about it. I’m going to fix this…” she placed a hand on his shoulder attempting to relax him.

There was no calming him. To her surprise, he had been extremely triggered by what he just heard. “Damn, Hazel…” Blake cussed and walked away, turning his back to her. “All of this time, you made me believe he was taking care of you! I thought you were safe with him! You lied to me!” he shouted at her, turning his anger to her now.

Ava followed Blake with her eyes. She stared in disbelief seeing how flustered he had become. Finally, Ava was realizing what she had been avoiding all along. Finally, she was realizing how much he truly cared about her. For once, there was someone in life who she knew the truth. Someone she no longer had to lie to...

Slowly, Ava followed him to where he stood at the bar. His back was turned to her silently facing the wall so he didn’t see her approach. She planted her feet behind him and pressed her lips together. Surprisingly, she stood extremely close to him. Close enough to touch him but she was afraid to cross that boundary. Instead, she reached up and placed a hand on his shoulder again.  “Blake…” Ava softly called his name. He did not turn around right away. Instead, Ava used the hand on his shoulder to turn him around to look at her. He did. Twisting his body around, Blake turned, their bodies now facing. He stared down at her and shook his head. He didn’t say anything immediately, so Ava spoke first.

“Blake… be honest…” She looked up at him with big eyes. Her knees were shaking, but she continued. “Tell me the truth…. Is this real??? Do you really have feelings for me??? Do you really care???” she asked him. For the first time in over 11 years, Ava sincerely and genuinely needed to hear his answer. This was her first time asking him to elaborate on his feelings. Now she was desperate and desired to know the truth.

 Blake sighed deeply. His angered expression melted instantly. “I can’t keep doing this, Hazel…” he looked away. “I can’t continue expressing my feelings if they are just going to go unnoticed… I want you… I’ve told you this a million times… I don’t know what else to say to you…”

Ava stared at him. She felt something strange boiling inside and didn’t know how to explain what was happening to her. But she didn’t care about making sense of things anymore. Ava had spent too many years beating herself up for not being perfect. For not being worthy of a real man’s love. She had grown used to judging Blake by his persistency rather than genuinely listening to the reason behind his persistence. Finally, she was realizing what she had been ignoring all this time. He stared at her. He could sense she was studying him.

“What???” he asked now turning the tables on her. Ava didn’t respond. She continued to stare at him as if she were really seeing him for the first time. She heard all she needed to hear. Seen all she needed to see. She stepped in even closer. Surprisingly, his entire body tensed up. “Hazel, what are you doing???” he asked. Ava did not respond. She closed her eyes and inhaled his scent. She was so close her nostrils were practically in the nape of his neck. Clearly, her sudden closeness took him by surprise. “Hazel…” he called her name again.

She gazed at the handsome man standing over her. It was something about Blake that made her weak. It wasn’t just his looks or his physique. It was his mind. His generosity. It was the compassion in his eyes when he looked at her. Ava’s entire body was shaking now. She couldn’t fight the urge anymore. It was time to face the truth once and for all. Without processing another thought, Ava reached up using her tippy toes and grabbed him by the neck. Blake’s eyes widened as soon as she pulled him in close and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. “Kiss me, Blake…” she demanded him without hesitance. She demanded him before she came to her senses. Before she changed her mind.  He obeyed. It felt as if time were moving in slow motion as he leaned down, his lips inching close to hers. She broke out in a panic, her mind contemplating what was about to happen. What am I doing? Why am I doing this??? Why? Why? Why? Seconds later, his lips brushed against her. Softly. She flinched as soon as she felt his lips touch her. The deed had been done. There was no taking this back now. Blake reached forward and held her face in the palm of his hands. He was gentle being careful not to move to fast. He kissed her softly with an open mouth, stroking the side of her cheek as he did what he had been wanting to do for so long. “Mmmmm…” Surprisingly, Ava moaned out loud. His soft lips massaging her put her at ease. And to think after all these years, she never thought to give them a try. He kissed her longer making her melt with each stroke of his tongue dancing around on hers. Shit… I heard he was a good kisser… but damn…. You never know for sure until you try it yourself…

Seconds later, he pulled back breaking up the kiss that Ava surprisingly wanted to last longer. Her lips were still puckered in midair as he stepped back. “Wow…” he managed to sputter out. “I wasn’t expecting that.”

Neither was she. Ava stared at him with immediate heat stirring in between her legs. She was speechless. She didn’t expect to feel that much chemistry in the midst of his embrace. “Damn…” he shook his head, his brow furrowing. “That was even better than I hoped it would be…” Blake smiled than turned his body again to her heading back to the kitchen. Surprisingly, his demeanor turned calm. Ava on the other hand was completely rattled. She expected Blake to be the edgy one after getting what he had been begging for so long. Instead he casually headed to the stove and turned the eye down to the low. “It’s almost ready.” He mentioned the food that she had forgotten all about. “I hope you like Italian.” He turned back to her and winked, immediately noticing how flustered she was. Ava couldn’t lie. She could care less about what was cooking on that stove. Blake had awakened something inside of her.  She walked forward into the kitchen to where he stood, put her arms around his waist and turned him around to face her. She pulled him by his neck again and pulled him back in, kissing him once again. His lips were sweet. His kiss was passionate and sensual. She massaged her lips with his, running her hands down his chest as she moaned. “Mmmmm…   Blake…” she called out his name in-between his kisses. “I should have kissed you sooner… Mmmm… maybe then I would have realized.” She pressed her body into his, kissing him full force. Within a matter of seconds, she could feel his manhood rising and begin to bulge out of his pajama pants.  He reached down and lightly pushed her waist back, attempting to create a distance between her and his hard dick. But Ava didn’t want him to pull away. She wrapped her arms around his waist and pulled her body back into his, practically locking his crotch in between her legs. For some reason, she couldn’t control herself. She had been mesmerized by his lips. Ava was no longer thinking clearly. While kissing him, slowly her hands began to drop down to his waist. Immediately, Blake pulled away breaking apart from their kiss. He looked at her with a shocked look on his face then down at her hand which was inches away from his belt buckle. “Hazel, I don’t want to move too fast.” To her surprise, he lightly began to push her away. “I don’t want to take advantage of you. I’ve waited for so long. I can wait longer if I have too…” Politely, he held her hand and gave her a serious look which turned her on even more. She admired his patience. Blake had never been the type to rush or pressure a woman into getting what he wants. For the life of her, Ava could not understand how she went so long resisting the urge. Defiantly, she pressed her body into him even more, her large double-d breast now pressing into his chest. Ava wasn’t used to being the aggressive type but she didn’t care anymore.  It had been a long time. A long time since she had been underneath another man. Smelled another man’s scent. But something about this moment felt right. She looked up at him with a serious look in her eyes. “Blake, I’m sure about this… So much has happened to me these last few days, I don’t want to feel any of that anymore…. I just want to feel you…. Inside of me….” The words escaped her lips slowly and quietly. She didn’t regret a single sentence. The kitchen grew quiet as Blake stared at her silently. She could tell he was surprised and contemplating his next move, pondering on what he wanted to do with her next. He shook his head, causing her heart to beat quickly. Ava had put herself out there. Based upon the look on his face, she could not read him. It was hard to tell if he truly wanted her or not. Blake sighed before continuing. “I’m afraid this is all in the heat of the moment, Hazel… I want you bad. But I don’t want you to end up regretting this later.” His expression appeared truly confused. Ava tilted her head to the side shooting him a look as if he were out of his mind.  She was ready. The last thing she expected was for Blake to push back making her beg for it. She didn’t say another word. Ava didn’t have the strength to fight him on this. She had made her decision and once her mind had been made up, there was no changing it no matter what he had to say. Her gut feeling was telling her to stop resisting. Her gut feeling was telling her there was no way in hell she was going to regret this. Keeping her mouth closed, she walked straight to where she stood, yanked him by his shirt and pulled him back in for a third kiss. For the third time, he did not resist her. “Mmmmm…” Ava’s hands dropped down to his zipper again. She used the palm of her hand to lightly caress his growing erection. Ava was surprised. Based upon the bulge in his pants, Blake was packing. She could feel the fabric of her panties turning wet as she kissed him in-between moans. Ava was giving it her all right now. Her body hadn’t felt this type of sensation in a long time. This feeling was liberating. Exciting.

Blake pulled away once again, making Ava smack her lips in frustration as he stepped back. She rolled her eyes and threw her hands up in the air. “What is it now, Blake???” she asked in an aggravated tone. Blake did not answer immediately. Instead, he went back to the stove and turned it off completely, being sure to cover the pots with the appropriate lids. He silently turned back to her and gave her a seductive look, his jaw clenching as he looked at her. “Alright…” Finally, he answered while walking towards her. “If we’re going to do this, we’re going to do this the right way. Definitely not standing in the middle of my kitchen…”

Ava stared at him with widened eyes as he approached her and reached down to grab her hand. He laced his fingers in-between hers and lightly whispered to her. “Follow me.”

His voice was so deep and sexy practically hypnotizing her. Ava did not hesitate nor did she resist. She fell into step holding his hand as he led her out of the kitchen across the living room towards his master bedroom.

 

Chapter 13.

Chapter 13.       

                                                                                                                   

Chills ran up the center of her thighs as Ava laid flat on her back staring at the roof, her long silky hair spilling over the comforter sheets. The large master bedroom was darkly shaded and had a nice sweet aroma. A lightened candle and an electric wax warmer sat on the nightstand next to the bed. The smell of vanilla and cashmere filled her nostrils relaxing her. “Mmmmm…” Ava moaned out loud and ran her hands down her bare waist. She had been stripped naked from head to toe. Surprisingly, she wasn’t ashamed nor embarrassed lying here completely exposed. Her mind was in a whirlwind. It had been a long time coming, and she planned on indulging into each and every second of this moment. Slowly, her eyes looked up at the manly figure standing over her. She bit her lips, watching as Blake walked across the room appearing from a dark corner. Ava studied every inch of his naked body as he approached the foot of the bed. The bulge in his pants wasn’t lying earlier. Blake’s dick was long, hard and hung. At least 9 inches of pure delicate chocolate. His abs were nicely toned into an astounding 6 pack. His forearms were also ripped with muscles. Blake’s manly figure was just right. She stirred her hips, watching him watch her. Just staring at his physique truly amazed her. He licked his lips staring at her open legs and her freshly shaved pussy. Blake had wanted this for so long. The time had finally come.

“Are you sure about this???” he asked again for the last time. Ava’s lips curved into a smile. She nodded her head and opened her legs wider, signaling that she was more ready than she would ever be. Blake was so gentle with her. She loved that so much about him. The moment they stepped into the bedroom, he began to softly kiss her while using his hands to undress her. Ava shuddered just thinking about it. Although she preferred for him to pounce on her as soon as he stripped her naked, she admired the way he took his time, kissing her softly making love with his lips before using his body.

Slowly, Blake got up on the bed. Immediately, her heart rate began to quicken as he crawled up the king sized mattress to where she lay. Almost in an instant, all of her nervousness came rushing back the closer he got to her.  This was really about to happen. This man had been chasing after her since college. The hairs on the back of her neck stood up as his hands touched her thighs. Her muscles tensed up feeling his touch. His hands felt different than any other hands she felt before. They were soft yet strong at the same time.  She closed her eyes as they traveled up her thighs and to her waist. “Mmmmm…” Ava moaned.  She twirled her hips even more, feeling the sensation rising. Blake was turning her on in ways she had never been turned on before and he hadn’t even made love to her yet. Her body tensed again as she felt his fingers brush against the outside of her pussy. It was his first time touching her down there. The first time in 11 years. She was dripping wet. Ava could feel her juices slipping against the tip of his fingers as he used them to open her up. “Mmmm, ahhhhh…” Ava moaned as he slipped them deeper inside. He began to move his hand in a rhythmic motion. She twirled her hips matching his rhythm. Although fingers had never been her thing, Blake was reaching for her g-spot and was definitely hitting it correctly.  Seconds later, he pulled back and admired her body for the second time. “Damn, Hazel…” he moaned. “You’re so beautiful… I’m so happy you’re here right now. “

Ava looked up. She bit her lip, her guilty conscience suddenly taking over. He was so sweet. So honest and genuine. On the other hand, she had not been honest. Ava had been keeping her life a secret for so long. For years, Blake begged her to open up and finally show the real her, but she had always been too hesitant. But not anymore. She was ready to open up.

“Ava….” She spoke her name out loud.

Immediately, he paused and looked at her strange while still straddling over her. “What does that mean???” Blake asked her to repeat herself.  

Ava swallowed the lump in her throat. She took a deep breath before finishing her sentence. “Ava…” she said her name again. She stared up at him with honest eyes, preparing to tell him the truth before they went any further. “Hazel is my middle name. Ava is my first. I call myself Hazel because I was ashamed of who I was. I didn’t want to let anyone see the softer side of me….  I don’t want to be that person anymore…. I want to be myself around you… I want you to call me Ava…”

Blake stared at her with a shocked look on his face. Clearly, he wasn’t expecting to hear her say that. After a few moments of silence, he finally spoke. “I’m glad you decided to open up and share that with me….Ava”

She smiled from ear to ear upon hearing him say her name. Thankfully he didn’t ask more questions. She was happy too. Finally, no more lies. Finally, she could be herself for once.  Reaching forward, she pulled him by the neck and pulled him on top of her. As soon as their naked bodies were pressed together, she reached forward and indulged him in another passionate kiss. His lips were so soft and smooth, she could kiss him all day if she wanted. She opened her legs and twirled her waist underneath him. She pulled apart and moaned out. “I’m ready baby…” she practically begged. Ava was in heat. Her body could no longer take the suspense. She was ready to find out what it was like.

She flinched as soon as she felt the tip of his dick rub against her pussy. Her body tensed up the closer he was to slipping inside.

“You okay?” he asked, again checking on her.

Ava nodded her head. Although she was slightly intimidated by his large size, she didn’t say it out loud. She wanted to feel every single inch. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and held him close. Slowly, he proceeded.

“Ahhhh….” Ava cried out as she felt the head first. Seconds later, all 9 inches slid inside of her. Blake moved slowly, being careful not to give it to her all at once. He kissed her neck in-between stroking her. Chills ran down her spine as he made his way in even deeper. “Mmmmmm…” Ava moaned out again. He moved in a rhythmic motion, sliding himself in and out in a slow motion. Finally, it was happening. She twirled her hips, twirling her walls around his dick as he filled her up on the inside. Her desire for him immediately rose even more the deeper he stroked. Ava would be lying if she said she never imagined sex with Blake at least once in her life. So far, he was everything that she had imagined and hoped for.

“You feel so good baby…” he complimented her while stroking in-between her open legs.   She trembled and ran her hands down his back. Blake’s dick was curvy and hitting all the right spots. She was seconds away from orgasming   before putting her hand on his chest stopping him. She didn’t want to come yet. She wanted this to last longer. “Wait babe…”

He obeyed. Blake pulled out and sat up on the bed. “Was I too rough?” he asked. Quickly she shook her head. In fact, he was the complete opposite. Instead of verbally responding, she sat up in bed, turned around and positioned herself on her hands and knees. She arched her back and tooted her ass up in the air. Taking the hint, Blake positioned himself behind her. Seconds later, she could feel him plunging inside of her from behind. “Ahhhhh….” Ava passionately threw her head back and cried out. This time he wasn’t as soft but he still made sure to take his time. “Ahhhh…” Ava cried out again as he pounded her from the back with his hands wrapped around her tiny waist. She dug her nails into the cover and threw her ass back on his dick. She could feel her arms trembling and her knees about to buckle. “Mmmmm… Blakeeeeeee…” she moaned out his name. “I’m about to comeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee….”

She did. Ava released a strong orgasm as Blake’s strokes slowed down to a slow pace. He rubbed his hands on her bare ass, stroking her softly as she finished orgasming. Her knees practically gave out underneath her once she finished. Ava collapsed on the bed, landing on her stomach first. She could hear Blake chuckling in the background. “How was it?” he asked seductively. She couldn’t speak. She couldn’t move. She weakly looked over her shoulder and glanced at him standing over her. The sex was astounding. Better than she ever imagined. Blake smiled. He could tell she was winded and completely out of breath. He crawled up on the bed and collapsed beside her. Wrapping his arms around her waist, Blake pulled her in and held her in his arms. Ava smiled, turned her body around to him and snuggled underneath him. His embrace was so warm and welcoming. Everything that she needed. Ava laid back and inhaled his scent for the millionth time. Their bodies felt so right lying next to each other. She smirked then looked up at him. “So this is what I been missing all these years, huh?” she asked slyly.

He chuckled and pulled her in even closer. “I told you to give me a chance.”

She laughed and bit her bottom lip. Blake was right. She had been a damn fool. She should have opened up and gave him a shot a long time ago. Ava nodded her head. “I told you I wasn’t going to regret it…” she winked at him. Although she wanted to praise him for the amazing sex he just gave her, she remained tight lipped deciding not to boost his ego this early on. Ava knew herself very well. Once she became attached to a man, her emotions could turn lethal. She wasn’t ready for that kind of pressure. At least not yet. Ava rested her head on his chest and closed her eyes, enjoying the peaceful sensual moment.   “Now I don’t want to leave…” she spoke jokingly while laughing. To her surprise, Blake didn’t laugh with her. His tone remained straight as he responded to her. “You don’t have to…” he spoke in a firm voice.

Ava turned her head and looked up at him. His expression was serious. She shot him a confused look. “What does that mean???” she asked in an almost worried tone, afraid to hear what he was going to say next. He smiled, noticing her anxiety and pulled her back in. “Relax…” he soothed her in his deep sexy voice. “I’m not asking you to move in. I’m just saying you are more than welcome to stay here as long as you need.  Your presence is always welcomed here.”

Hearing him say that warmed her heart. Butterflies filled her stomach.

"I want you to go back to Jade's house and pack a bag." he instructed her. "You're going to spend the weekend here with me."

Ava couldn't do anything else but smile from ear to ear.  Little did Blake know, he had relieved so much stress within a matter of minutes. She eagerly nodded her head, agreeing with whatever he asked. “Thank you Blake…" she looked up and thanked him sincerely with so much gratitude in her eyes. She smiled. "Thank you for your patience… for your concern…. for everything…” 

He smiled back, leaned forward then gently kissed her on the forehead. “You’re welcome… Ava….”

He called her by her real name again. Her heart instantly fluttered. Ava loved hearing him say it out loud. She snuggled back underneath him and together they fell asleep laying in his king sized bed wrapped in each other’s arms.

 

Chapter 14.

Chapter 14.

 

“Cause loving you has made my life so beautiful.

And every day of my life, is filled with loving you.

Loving you I see your soul come shining through.

And every time that we have (uuuuhhhhhhh)”

 

Ava swayed her hips from side to side as she sang along to the Minnie Riperton track playing from the radio on the nightstand. She stood over an open suitcase, dancing to the music and throwing clothes into the bag.

 

“La la la la la, la la la la la

La la la la la, la la la la la

Do do do do do, ooh”

 

She made a poor attempt at singing the high note. Her voice cracked like a wounded dog as she howled out the soprano chords. Ava laughed at her horrible singing while continuing to grab all of her clothes out of Jade’s hallway closet. She messily threw them into the suitcase without a care in the world for organization. She was on cloud 9 and could not stop humming happy tunes since last night. For a second, Ava stopped dancing and stood in place. Closing her eyes, she began to revision everything that happened last night. For the life of her, she couldn’t stop daydreaming about it. Instantly, a grin spread across her cheeks and goosebumps began to form. Ava could still feel Blake’s touch against her skin. She could still smell his cologne as he lay on top of her. Just the thought of him was enticing. Ava shuddered, wandering how the hell she went so many years ignoring his irresistibility. I’m not resisting anymore… I’m no longer fighting the desire… I have never felt something that feels this good…

 “Hey girl!” The sudden sound of a loud, chipper voice made Ava jump out of her skin.

“Ahhh!” she flinched, dropping the clothes she had in her hands. Startled, she turned to face Jade who trailed up the hallway with her purse and shoes in her hand.  “Girl you scared me!” Ava put a hand on her chest, feeling her racing heart beating through her chest. It was a little after 3 pm. Jade had just arrived home from work and Ava had not heard her come in.

She laughed. “Sorry Hazel…. Maybe if the music wasn’t so loud, you would have heard the front door open.” She politely brushed around her and headed towards her bedroom which was right next to the closet. Ava flashed a weak smile as she passed by attempting to hide her true expression. Secretly, she was disappointed. Jade was home nearly an hour early, completely ruining Ava’s plan to pack her stuff and get the hell out of there before she got home. Now she had to explain why she was leaving and she had not come up with an explanation just yet.

After placing her things in her room and turning down the radio, Jade came back into the hallway with a raised eyebrow. Immediately her eyes dropped down to the open suitcase that sat at her feet. “Going somewhere???” she asked in a questioning tone.

Nervously, Ava bit her lip. She looked down at her suitcase which had clothes falling out of it. “Umm…” she hesitated before answering. “Yeah, probably just for a weekend. I’m not sure yet. I figured it was time to get out of your hair now.”

Jade crossed her arms over her chest. “Hmmm….” She continued eyeing her, sensing she was up to something. “And where exactly are you going? Back home to Desean?” she asked sarcastically. Jade wasn’t a stupid woman. She knew something was up.

“Umm…” Ava hesitated once again. She was being put on the spot which was the exact thing she was trying to avoid. Ava wasn’t ready. She wasn’t ready to tell the truth nor did she have the strength to muster any more lies. “I’m going to a friend’s house.” Quickly she downplayed where she was really going, attempting to cover her trail. Almost in an instant, Ava felt a terrible feeling spread across her chest. She felt horrible lying to her face.

Jade stared at her with a strange look. “Hmmmm…” she murmured. “That’s odd. You know you don’t have to leave. You are always welcome here.”

Ava tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and looked away. The guilt had quickly taken over but she did her best to hide it. “I know that…” she spoke while turning her back towards the closet. She didn’t want Jade to see the worried expression on her face. “Trust me… I will be fine…It’s not like I could stay here forever.” Ava spoke to her without looking her way. Although she knew she would have to face Jade sooner or later, she wasn’t expecting for it to be this soon nor was she prepared for it. Ava could hear her smacking her lips in the background. Obviously, she was not buying her response.

“Whatever Hazel. If you’re going back to Desean, just say that. Your business is your business… I have nothing to say about it” Jade dropped the situation in a somewhat aggravated tone. As if something else was truly bothering her. Within a matter of seconds, she had gone quiet. Ava stopped and peeped over her shoulder, glancing at Jade who was leaned with her back against the wall while staring blankly at the ground. Her sudden silence was strange. The blank expression on her face was empty and vacant.

“You okay?” Ava asked, immediately sensing something was wrong.

Slowly, Jade lifted her head to look at her. She offered a weak smile. “Girl I’m fine.” She waved her hand. “I just got a lot on my mind.”

Ava stared at her. She could tell there was more to it.  A lot more than what she was telling. Taking a deep breath, Ava made a quick decision. As much as she wanted to finish packing her things, hop in a taxi and rush back to the condo to be with Blake, her best friend needed her. For once in her life, Ava needed to be selfless and put her own needs to the side. She turned towards Jade with a sincere look. “You want to talk about it???” she asked.

Slowly Jade looked up. She attempted to smile again which was even weaker than the first time.

Ava wasn’t buying it. “What is it Jade??? Tell me now…” she asked again adamantly.

Jade sighed deeply as if she had been holding it in for a while. Shaking her head, she ran her fingers through her hair in a frustrated stance. “Is there something wrong with me, Hazel??? Am I unattractive???” she asked the question abruptly, catching Ava completely off guard. Almost in an instant, she gasped in disbelief.

“What???” Ava asked shockingly making sure she heard her correctly. “What do you mean are you unattractive??? Have you lost your mind Jade??? Why would you ask a ridiculous question like that????” she bombarded her with questions. Nonchalantly, Jade shrugged her shoulders, her head still hung low. A depressed look was plastered all over her face.

 "I don't know Hazel... It's like nothing ever goes right in my life.” She sniffled. Visibly, she was close to breaking down. “My marriage was a failure… I did everything for my husband emotionally and financially. I still got cheated on… I invited Blake over for dinner last night… He couldn’t make it because his sister was in the hospital.” She smacked her lips. “That asshole must have forgotten he told me he didn’t have a sister.”

Ava stared at her flabbergasted by her sudden confession. For a moment she was at a loss for words but knew she had to think of something quick. She stepped forward and held her hands up attempting to defuse the situation.  “Calm down, girl. Blake does have a step-sister.” Without processing what she was saying, Ava quickly lied in his defense. In fact, Jade was right. Blake did not have any siblings, but against her better judgement, Ava attempted to cover his tracks.  “He probably forgot to mention her because she lives so many miles away.” Ava continued with her fabrications. “I’m sure he didn’t stand you up on purpose Jade. You’re blowing this entire thing out or proportion.”

Her shoulders slumped even lower. Clearly, Ava’s lies gave her no reassurance. "I don't know what I'm doing wrong, Hazel... I want someone in my life that really cares… It's like nobody wants me..." Tears welled up in her eyes as she spoke, her bottom lip quivering. She began to cry softly but wholeheartedly as if she hadn’t cried in years. Immediately, Ava's expression melted, her heart breaking into pieces upon seeing the tears running down her cheeks.  She had never seen Jade so distraught. So emotionally broken. Deciding she had seen enough, Ava rushed over to where she stood and grabbed her by the shoulders. "Stop talking like that Jade!” she shouted at her while practically shaking her. “You’re beautiful and you know that! How dare you allow a man to make you think any different????" She spoke frantically, wishing Jade would wake the hell up and stop blaming herself. Her efforts did not work. Tears continued to spill down her cheeks.

 "I know I’m beautiful Hazel... But is that enough??? Is that enough to keep a man???" she asked while staring off into space blankly. Her question was ridiculous, but also valid. Ava stepped back in shock. Her mind wanted to say something to convince Jade otherwise, but her lips could not form any sentences. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen… If Jade finds out I slept with Blake, she will never forgive me... I'm a horrible friend... I'm a fucking back stabber!
“I can't take hearing you talk like this..." Making excuses for her own guilt and anxiety, Ava abruptly turned to walk away. "I have to go. I think you need some time to yourself to think things over." Selfishly, she bent down to her suitcase to close up the bag. The conversation had become too overwhelming and now she desperately needed to escape.

 “Maybe it’s not me…” Jade spoke again. “I’m sure there’s someone else…. I was so stupid! I ignored the signs! I should have known he was still in love with Madison!”

The entire room stopped. Ava’s crouched body froze like a rock. Her hands were still raised in midair as she almost lost her balance. Ava quickly grabbed on to the doorframe before she could topple over. Madison. Madison. Madison…. Slowly, she looked up with wide eyes, the name replaying itself inside her mind. Her chest began to cramp from the long breath that she had been holding unknowingly. Ava stood up after losing all feelings in her legs. She turned moving in slow motion, looking over at Jade. “Ma- Madison???” she stammered the name, trying her best to hide the shakiness in her voice.

Jade nodded her head. “Yep… Some chick he said he wanted to marry when he was in college… Maybe that’s why he’s been acting so strange. Maybe he wants her instead.”

Ava’s cheeks instantly grew hot. Marry??? Madison??? Who the fuck is Madison??? 

“I’m sure it’s nothing…” she answered blankly, attempting to convince Jade and convince herself at the same time.

Surprisingly, Jade dried up her tear stained face and laughed lightly. "I'm probably tripping." she spoke jokingly, now making light of the situation. Jade gathered herself together and stood firmly on her feet. “I’m good. Sorry, I just had a moment…” she chuckled, lightly laughing at herself. Ava did not laugh with her. She stood with a perplexed expression attempting to put the pieces together inside her head. Blake never told me about a Madison! What do I say??? What does this mean???? She came up with nothing. Ava had no idea who this mystery woman was. Instantly, she became overwhelmed with nausea. Just the thought of Blake playing her literally made her sick to her stomach.

Interrupting her thoughts, Jade stepped forward with a huge grin on her face. She held her arms out. “Thanks for being here to listen to me bitch and complain… Thank you for being such a great friend. I don’t know what I would do with you. I love you girl.” She leaned forward, threw her arms over her shoulders and wrapped Ava up in a big, tight hug, squeezing her in the midst of her embrace. For a second, Ava stood there with her arms hanging by her side. The guilt was definitely settling in and beginning to eat her alive. Slowly, she bought her arms up and hugged her back.

“I love you too…” she whispered, meaning every word…

 

 

 

Chapter 15.

Chapter 15.

 

“Hey, Hazel. Can I get two dirty martinis? Double up on the tequila? Make it strong girl! Give me what you got.”

Ava bopped her head to the music as she turned to acknowledge a young woman leaning on the edge of a bar waving a 20-dollar bill at her. Her hips swayed side to side as she danced and sung to the old school Keith Sweat song playing from the speakers.

“Nobodyyyyyyy…

Who gone love you like meeeeee?

 Nobodyyyyyyyy”

She smiled at the woman in front of her who stood patiently waiting for Ava to finish singing and dancing. Thank God it was a slow night at Whiskeys. The young woman was the only one waiting in line and luckily the bar had cleared out pretty early. Ava picked up a last minute shift and was working alone but she didn’t mind. She nodded her head towards the woman. “Sure.” She answered her in a chipper tone. Ava turned back to the bar and began to collect the contents necessary to make a dirty martini.  Tequila. Dry Vermouth. Olive Brine. 2 olives and 2 cocktails. Ava wasted no time fixing the drinks like a professional. In less than a minute, she was turning back to her customer who awaited her drinks eagerly. “Here you go honey.” Ava slid the glasses over the table towards her.

The woman smiled from ear to ear. “Thank you!” she handed the 20-dollar bill over with 3 dollar bills as a tip. Ava winked at her. She loved tipping customers no matter how big or small the tip was. She quickly turned back to the cash register, placed the $20 bill inside and stuffed the dollars in her pocket. Getting back to her groove, she went back to dancing to the song. The D.J played nothing but slow Jams tonight and Ava was really feeling the music. She danced seductively, running her hands down her hips and thighs. She had dressed sexy tonight and was feeling extremely exotic in her laced blue dress and matching 6 inch heels. Ava twirled her tiny waist, dancing erotically for the pair of eyes watching her. Ava smiled at the person sitting on a bar stool behind the bar. He had been gaping at her the entire time and had yet to take his eyes off of her. She twirled her hips even more, doing a light belly dance wining her slim waist.

“Mmmm…” the man moaned watching her do a private seductive dance for him. She smiled and slowly began sashaying to where he sat on the stool. Ava had his fully divided attention. Her rhythmic moves had put him in a trance. She stepped in even closer and placed her body in-between his open legs. Leaning down, Ava stopped inches away from his face and whispered. “You like what you see???” she made sure to ask the question in a quiet, sexy voice. In return he smirked and nodded his head, remaining silent while scanning her from head to toe. She continued dancing in the center of his lap, brushing against his rising manhood which was rock hard underneath his jeans. She smiled, leaned back and grinded her ass on him, twirling her large ass cheeks on top of his crotch winding and grinding as if she were fucking him.

“Damn…” she could hear his voice as he gripped her waist, pressing himself into her even more.

Ava laughed. She stood up, feeling the heat beginning to rise. Unfortunately, now was not the place or the time. She turned back to the man and slipped her arms over his shoulders. “Not here, babe. Maybe when we get home…” she winked, immediately sensing his extreme arousal.

In return Blake chuckled. He squeezed her around the waist and pulled her in tighter. “I really hate when you tease me like that…” he spoke in a playful tone.

Ava laughed. She leaned in, resting her chest onto his. “Well, no one told you to stalk me while I’m working…” she spoke jokingly.

He smiled at her mischievously. She was telling the truth. They had been together 48 hours and Blake had yet to take his eyes off of her. Ava didn’t mind the attention. She breathed a sigh of relief as she stared at him longingly. Truth be told, she was happy to be here with him. She never had company at work. Desean would have never stepped foot inside the club even if she begged him. Literally, Blake and Desean were like night and day.  She smiled at him while reminding herself how special these last 2 days had been. Staying at the condo with Blake had been one of the most peaceful, mindful and liberating living experiences she had all year. He catered to her each and every need from cooking her breakfast, to massaging her feet, to running her bath water at night. Ava had opened up to him in ways that she never believed she would, becoming infatuated a lot sooner than she expected. Every second with him was a breath of fresh air. A meditation to her soul.

“What???” he asked, noticing she was staring at him in deep thought.

Ava sighed and ran her finger across his lips. “Nothing…” she played it off. Strangely, a part of her wanted to tell him about the emotions she had been feeling, but another part felt it was way too soon. She didn’t want him to know that she was falling for him. She was afraid to let him too close.

He stroked her back, soothing her. “It’s not Madison again is it?” he asked suddenly, completely throwing her off subject.

Ava’s smile instantly disappeared. Her arms dropped to her side as she stepped back from his lap and shot him a crazy look. Immediately, her tone changed. “Why would I be thinking about her??? You said it was over right???” She rolled her eyes and smacked her lips, her mood immediately changing just hearing him mention the mystery woman’s name. Ava had pushed the thought far into the back of her mind and had no intentions on mentioning it again. Clearly, he was not letting the situation go that easy. Indeed, in the beginning Ava was livid. She was extremely irate upon finding out and wasted no time rushing back to the condo to confront Blake about all the things Jade told her. Of course, he had an explanation for everything.

“I just want to make sure, Ava…” he gave her a firm look. “Madison is the past… You are the woman I want to be with… Anyone else that came before you doesn’t matter at all...”

She stared at him with a straight face. His expression seemed honest and sincere but she was still unsure. The fact that he never mentioned her made Ava extremely uneasy. She shrugged her shoulders, deciding not to think about it too hard. He gave her no indication to believe he was being deceptive. Truth be told, Ava could care less about that woman.  Madison was the past. She was his future. “I believe you Blake…” she answered honestly. Truthfully, she believed every word he said. Her gut feeling told her Blake wasn’t lying about this one.

He smiled at her, her answer visibly giving him relief. “Good.” He continued to hold her tightly. “Speaking of exes….” He gave her a look as if he were about to visit a conversation that she had been avoiding. Ava knew exactly where this was going next. “What???” she asked.

Blake’s expression was serious now. “Ava, we have to get your car back… and we need to get your stuff out of that house…”

Immediately, her heart sank into her stomach. Her brows furrowed and her palms turned sweaty. The thought of facing Desean literally made her sick to her stomach. She attempted to hide her fear. “I know I have to, but I’m not ready to see him yet…. I’m afraid of what he’ll might do.”

In an instant, Blake stood up from the stool, his 6-foot frame now standing over her. “He’s not going to do shit.” He spoke in an irritated tone. Blake easily became aggravated whenever they spoke about Desean and truth be told, Ava couldn’t blame him.

He grabbed her by the chin, making her look at him while he spoke. “I’m your man now, Ava. You’re crazy if you think I’m going to let anything happen to you.” His voice was firm, letting her know he wasn’t playing games. “I didn’t wait all these years for nothing. As long as I am with you, Desean won’t come near you… I promise you that…”

She stared up at him with wide eyes as he laid down the rules once and for all. Little did he know, he turned her on whenever he talked that way. So serious and demanding. I’m his woman… she quietly reiterated his statement inside her head. So far, they hadn’t discussed relationships or titles so it was a shock to hear him refer to her that way. But the thought of it sounded damn good.

 “You’re right…” she finally admitted it out loud.

Blake smirked, his aggravation quickly melting away. He pulled her back into the center of his lap. “I know I am…”

She laughed and rolled her eyes. Blake had learned her weak spots already, and as hard as it was to admit, he was definitely becoming one of them. “So, when???” she asked hesitantly while tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. Although she was nervous to finally close that chapter, Ava knew it was long overdue.

 “Tomorrow.” He answered surely. Immediately Ava held her stomach, his response literally making her want to vomit.

“Tomorrow???” she repeated him. “That’s so soon…” she used the back of her hand to fan herself after easily becoming lightheaded. “Desean is going to go nuts! He’s going to fucking kill me once he finds out you and I are seeing each other now…”

“SEEING EACH OTHER???!!! What the fuckkkkk???!!!” A loud, female voice suddenly shouted from across the bar abruptly interrupting their conversation. The sudden, piercing voice shouting over the music took Ava by complete surprise.  She quickly whipped her body around, her hair dramatically flying over her shoulders as she forcefully turned around to see who the hell was shouting at her. Immediately, her vision landed on a pair of woman’s eyes scolding her with a frightening glare. Ava gasped, her jaw dropping once realizing who was standing before her. Fear immediately striked her chest, almost knocking the wind out of her.

“Jade!” Ava called out in shock.

Jade didn’t respond. Instead, she stood staring, switching her gaze in-between Ava and Blake as if she were staring at a ghost. She stood before them dressed in a long, red gown with red lipstick coated on her lips and dangling diamond earrings hanging from her earlobes. Jade was dressed exquisitely as if she had come here to see someone. Quickly, Ava jumped up from Blake’s lap, feeling as if she were moving in slow motion. She had been caught red handed.  “Jade, please let me explain!”

Jade still had not said a word. Her body was shaking as she continued staring at them both. Ava’s heart beat out of her chest waiting for Jade to finally say something. Like an idiot, she mentally began slapping herself upside the head for allowing herself to be caught this way. Ava knew better than to cuddle underneath Blake in public but then again, Jade’s surprise pop up was highly unlike her.  She was the last person Ava expected to show up here.

“You bitch…” Jade finally spoke, breaking the intense silence. Her tone was very dark and cold as she spoke.

“Jade… I…. I…” Ava stammered. She attempted to come up with a defense but her speech was frozen in time. There was no explanation for this. There were no excuses to give.

Without saying another word, Jade abruptly turned on her heel, hiked up her dress and ran off in the opposite direction leaving Ava standing there watching her run away.

“Jade!!!” Ava quickly called out to her attempting to stop her. She did not listen to her calls. Jade flicked the middle finger over her shoulder and made her way clear across the room with no intentions on stopping. “Jade, wait!!!” Ava called after her again. She fell into step around the bar, preparing to chase after her. Before she could get too far, she felt a soft tug on her arm pulling her back. She whipped around and turned to face Blake who stared at her with a concerned look on his face. “I don’t think you should do that, Ava.” Blake said. “She seems extremely upset. Maybe you should let her cool off.”

Defiantly, Ava wiggled her arm away. “Not right now, Blake.” She held up her hand, dismissing him after becoming slightly aggravated that she had been caught. Ava hadn’t planned on keeping this from her forever. The last thing she wanted was for her to find out this way. She hurried around the bar and out onto the dance floor, walking at a quick pace to catch up with Jade. Glancing up, she could see her figure nearing the door. From the looks of things, she was wearing a pair of high 9 inch heels which explained why she hadn’t gotten very far. “Jade!” Ava called her name a third time as she approached her before she could exit the building.  Surprisingly, Jade stopped in her tracks after hearing her voice close behind her. She took her time to turn around, making sure she moved as slow as possible before facing her. She locked eyes with Ava. The expression on her face was scary.

“Jade please.” Ava quickly began to beg. “I swear I never meant to hurt you! I didn’t plan for this! It just happened!” she spoke in a pleading and desperate voice.

Jade smacked her lips. She rolled her eyes, threw her head back and laughed an evil laugh. “Nothing ever just happens! How stupid do you think I am???” she asked in a cold tone. Ava didn’t respond at first. She was conscience-stricken, wanting to apologize but for some reason she couldn’t.  She had betrayed her best friend. The only woman in this world she trusted.

Stepping forward, Jade invaded her personal space and stood directly in her face. “Don’t you have a man???” she rolled her neck. “What the fuck is your problem??? Is Desean’s dick not good enough for you anymore???” She hit her with a low blow with her finger pointed in her face. Ava cowered back after realizing just how angry she really was. She had never seen Jade this way. If only Ava had been honest with her from the beginning. Maybe then, everything would have made sense. She sighed before revealing what Jade already should have known. “I’m breaking up with Desean... I’m not as happy with him as you think… The relationship is damaged way beyond repair.”

“Psstttt…” Jade smacked her lips and rolled her eyes a second time.  Clearly, she was unmoved and not buying any of her excuses. “So that gives you a pass to hook up with the only guy that you know I am interested in??? What the fuck Ava??? I thought you were my FRIEND!!!!”

Ava backed away painstakingly. She was digging herself even deeper in a hole with each sentence that left her mouth. “No Jade! You don’t understand!” She held her hands up in a surrendering stance, begging for her to hear her side of the story. “Blake and I were friends back in college.  He had feelings for me and I was never interested in him… Until……Until….” She stammered.

“Until what????” she narrowed her eyes at her. “Until you saw him with another woman and figured maybe someone else wanted him??? How fucking typical!”

Ava shut up immediately. With each excuse she came up with, Jade had a rebuttal. There was nothing she could say to defend herself. This betrayal could not be undone.

 “I… I… I don’t know how else to explain it to you...” Ava spoke guiltily with her head hung low. “I didn’t want him when I hooked you up with him. This all happened after you two met. I swear…. Honestly, I didn’t think you would care. You just met him two days ago... I honestly thought----…….”

SMACCCCCKKKKKKK!

A strong and forceful hand suddenly and heavily landed on the right side of Ava’s cheek interrupting her in mid-sentence.  “Ah!!!” she screamed.  The sudden blow completely knocked her off balance.

“You thought wrong bitch!!!” Jade’s voice was piercing loud as she screamed at her hunched over body.

Ava caught her balance before she could topple over. She looked up shocked while still holding her cheek, her skin tingling from where Jade’s hand landed on her face.   “What the hell Jade????” she cussed at her in a surprised tone.  Ava quickly looked around the club hoping no one saw what just happened. She noticed several bystanders staring at them both with wide eyes watching the chaos unfold. The slap was loud and had gotten a lot of folk’s attention. Just her luck, everyone in the room saw it happen.

Jade walked up on her to shout her last words. “Stay the hell away from me, Hazel! You’re a snake and I want nothing else to do with you! This friendship is over!” she stuck up her middle finger for a second time then turned her back, brushing past the observant crowd towards the door. Ava stood still holding her cheek watching her walk away. She didn’t chase after her this time, in fear that she would cock back and swing at her again. It wasn’t the slap that hurt. It was the emotional fact that their friendship had possibly been ruined forever.

Jade hurried past security, pushed open the large black door and exited the building. Never to be seen again. Once she was gone, Ava looked around the room, noticing everyone was still staring at her. She smacked her lips and turned away from the watching crowd. “What the fuck are ya’ll looking at???” she cussed after feeling embarrassed by the several pairs of eyes staring at her.  She walked quickly, desperate to get away from the crowd and back to the bar so she could tell Blake everything that just happened. He was right. Maybe she should have given her space to cool off before attempting to apologize. But it was too late. The deed had been done. Truth be told, the worst part was over and Ava felt an extreme relief inside her chest knowing that she was no longer hiding it. Finally, Jade knew the ugly truth. And although their friendship was now ruined, in return she gained something precious and valuable. Blake. Blake’s compassion. Blake’s humbleness. For a second, everything seemed worth it.

 Now there is only one person left… Only one name left to scratch off my list…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 16.

Chapter 16.

 

“Ahhhh yesssss….. Ahhhhh…”

 Ava moaned out loud as she straddled on top of Blake with her skirt hiked up on the edge of her bare ass. She twisted and grinded her pussy on him, licking her fingers and rubbing her hands down there as he stroked her.

“That feel good baby???” Blake asked an extremely obvious question. Ava threw her head back and tightened her walls against his dick.

“Mmmmm…” she responded. “Yes I loveeeee it. I love it soooooo much!”

She could feel him cumming underneath her. She twirled her hips, pressing her weight onto him even harder as he released inside of her. “Damnnnnnn Ava…” he gripped her waist as he thrusts his hips, his muscles relaxing. Ava licked her lips, climbed off of him and crawled back over to the passenger seat. She smirked as she settled into the leather seats, watching as Blake gathered himself together.

“Damn babe. That was some good car sex.” He laughed while fastening his belt buckle. Ava smiled. She never had car sex before. At least not in the driver’s seat. But there was a first time for everything and Ava couldn’t imagine her first time being with anyone else other than Blake. She pulled her skirt back down to her knees. “I love how everything is so spare of the moment with you…” she spoke admirably, batting her eyelashes at him. They had been riding in the car for about 30 minutes prior to Blake pulling over in a parking lot, demanding that he have her right then and there. She was under his spell. Ava was hypnotized and would have done anything he asked. She glanced at her watch, eyeing the time. Their slight detour completely ruined their chances of arriving to their destination before 6 o’clock. It was now 6:15. Ava looked over at Blake as he placed his truck into drive and pulled out of the parking space. “We have to hurry…” she advised him, her tone serious now.

He looked over at her then back at the road as they pulled out of the parking lot and drove up the street. “Hurry for what???” he asked. His voice was casual as usual. This was no big deal to Blake. But to Ava, this was a huge deal. She turned her body in her seat to face him. “Blake, exactly how smooth do you really believe this is going to go???” she asked, his calm demeanor suddenly bothering her because she was a nervous wreck.

Blake’s expression did not change. Clearly, he was not worried. “It’s going to go however we want it to go…” he spoke calmly. “You and I are calling the shots now. We have the upper hand.”

Ava stared at him, secretly wishing she was as relaxed as he was. As much as she wanted to express her true concerns, she didn’t want to upset Blake or make him believe she doubted him. She took a deep breath. “So what’s the plan???” she asked in a shaky tone, attempting to hide her nervousness. He continued to concentrate on the road as he spoke. “In and out. That’s the plan…” Blake spoke confidently as if he had everything mapped out in his head. He smiled, reached over and grabbed her hand. Almost in an instant, his touch relaxed her. Ava couldn’t help but smile back while lacing her fingers in-between his. She stared at him as he drove. He was so damn fine and whenever he embraced her, he gave her so much confidence. So much reassurance. They continued to drive the rest of the way with their hands intertwined. It took about an additional 10 minutes to arrive to their destination. Lydia Bell Estates was the name of the neighborhood. Her leg bounced in anxiety as Blake turned on his blinker to make a right turn into the neighborhood. As quick as her anxiety had gone, it returned. She sat up on the edge of her seat.

“Just relax…” Blake soothed her, noticing she was getting worked up again.

She blushed then nervously nodded her head. “Okay.” Ava took slow, mediating breaths as Blake’s truck cruised down the street.

“Which way???” he asked.

Ava looked over and raised a shaky hand. “To the right.” She pointed to a turn that was coming up. Blake followed her instructions and made a sharp right. “It’s the 5th house on the left.” She spoke blankly processing what was about to go down. Everything felt as if it were moving in slow motion the closer he got to the house. She hadn’t been here in days. The place that she once called home now felt eerily strange and unfamiliar. Hopefully, this will be the last time I have to come back here. This part of my life is over…. I have to focus on starting a new life no matter how difficult letting go may be…

“Oh my God!” Ava immediately sat up on the edge of the seat, her eyes widening as Blake slowly approached the house. He parked on the street next to the mailbox. “Oh my God!” Ava repeated herself, shouting out loud again. Blake turned to her with a strange look on his face. “What???” he asked, her sudden outburst startling him. Ava wasted no time whipping off her seatbelt. “I can’t believe it! My car! My car! My car!” she swung the door wide open and hopped out. Running in full speed, Ava sped around the hood of the truck and up the driveway heading towards her Toyota which was parked in the driveway in its usual spot. Out of breath, she stopped in front of her vehicle. “My car! I can’t believe it! She’s alive! And she’s okay!” she clapped her hands together and jumped up and down in anxiety. Her precious baby was still in one piece and also in tip top shape. Ava looked over her shoulder at Blake who was getting out of the truck and heading her way.

“Look babe!” she jumped up and down like a kid in the candy store while pointing.  “It’s my car! It’s my car! He didn’t ruin it after all!”

Blake smirked, clicked the lock on his truck and began to towards her. “See…. I told you….” He walked to where she stood and stopped next to her. “You feel better now???” he asked.

She turned to him and nodded eagerly. “Absolutely! I’m so relieved!” she spoke in a chipper tone, feeling as if all her problems had been solved. She reached for his hand then smiled. “Blake, thank you for bringing me. I think I have what I needed. Can you drop me off at a car dealership up the street??? I can get an extra set of keys from my car salesman.” she smiled from ear to ear feeling completely satisfied with her ultimate resolution. No more stressing. No more worrying.

Instantly, Blake shot her an unapproved look. Clearly, he had caught on quick and was not letting her get off that easy. Blake shook his head. “Ava, I’m sure your keys are in that house. I’m not taking you to get another set.”

Immediately, her smile twisted into a frown. She crossed her arms over her chest and pouted. “Why not Blake???” she asked.

He took a deep breath and stepped forward. Placing a hand on her shoulder, Blake looked her deep in the eyes before speaking. “I know this is hard for you, Ava but we have to do this. You have to put an end to this or else this will continue forever… It’s now or never…” his voice was firm. His expression was serious. He took a step back and held his arm out, extending it towards the house. Nervously, Ava followed the direction of his hand with her eyes, glancing at the front door of the large house. Blake was right. It was now or never. It was time to face the music. Or else she would have to live the rest of her life looking over her shoulder.

 After a few moments of silence, finally she spoke. “Alright…” she whispered in a soft tone. “Let’s go. I’m ready to get this over with.” Ava reached back and grabbed his hand for comfort. He accepted, holding her hand tightly inside his as they both headed up the walkway and approached the front door. Ava halted on top of the welcome mat and took a nervous deep breath. Blake stopped directly behind her. “You ready babe?” he asked.

Her heart was racing. Her legs quivered fearfully. She looked over her shoulder, making eye contact with Blake. In return, he winked at her, reassuring her that everything would be alright. Although she was a nervous wreck, his protective presence gave her so much relief. She was happy having him by her side. There was no way she could have done this alone.

Knock Knock knock.

Balling up her first, she decided against wasting anymore time and knocked 3 times. Immediately, the panic kicked in. Ava didn’t know what to expect. She didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know how Desean would react to all of this.

 “You got this baby…” Blake encouraged her over her shoulder. Ava swayed back and forth as she waited, feeling herself about to become sick to her stomach. There was no turning back. No more running away from her fears. She was about to come face to face with reality. Face to face with the man she was once head over heels in love with. That love had changed. And although she still cared for Desean as a human being, she was no longer in love with him. Now she had to figure out how to say it out loud without him flying off the handle. Secretly, she knew him better than she knew anyone. Ava knew deep down in her heart Desean would never understand.

Suddenly, the door swung wide open making Ava’s entire body freeze like a deer caught in headlights. A ray of light spilled out onto the outside of the porch as the door opened wider. Ava gasped in shock. Silence. An uneasy silence. At first, no one spoke. Ava stood still with wide eyes while locking gazes with the person standing on the other side of the door.

“Who the hell are you????” Ava shouted out in a shocked tone. She did not recognize the strange face standing on the other side of the door and apparently, the stranger did not recognize her either.

“Umm…. I’m Andrea…” the soft female voice finally answered.

Ava gasped after she spoke, staring at the strange woman standing before her. The woman was yellow skinned, short and petite with long curly hair splashing over her shoulders. She was dressed comfortably in an oversized t-shirt and fuzzy bedroom slippers as if she had been here plenty of times before. Ava was speechless. She looked over her shoulder at Blake for some sort of guidance. He stood by appearing shocked as well.

Ava turned back to her. “What business do you have here??? What are you doing in my house???” Ava suddenly began to feel her anger rising as she questioned the woman. In return, Andrea stepped back after hearing the aggressiveness in her voice. She held her hands up in surrender, signaling she did not want any trouble. “Listen, I have no idea what’s going on. Desean invited me here.….”

Instantly, Ava’s jaw dropped upon hearing her say his name. “Desean???” she repeated her in a cold tone.

Andrea nodded her head. “I just met him. I had no idea a woman lived here. If I had known, I never would have showed up.”

Almost in an instant, Ava’s entire expression darkened. Her blood began to boil and her fists clenched by her side. She stepped up into the foyer and brushed past Andrea, bumping her shoulder to shoulder as she walked in. “Where the fuck is he at???” Ava cussed.   

Immediately, Andrea pointed towards the stairs then scurried across the room to a pile of clothes that sat next to the door. “I’m going to get out of here… This has nothing to do with me…” she bent down and slipped on a pair of sweats, changed her shoes and grabbed her purse that sat on the table stand. After dressing, Andrea headed for the door than stopped to look over at Ava. Surprisingly, her expression was soft.

 “I’m really sorry.” She suddenly apologized. “I’m not a homewrecker. I didn’t know he had a girl…” her voice was sincere. Ava wasn’t expecting her to apologize. Little did this woman know, she did not have to. There was only one person to blame. Andrea did not wait for her to respond. After apologizing, she quickly swung opened the door, hurried out onto the porch and slammed it shut behind her.

After she was gone, Ava turned, her vision now focusing on the stairs leading up to the master bedroom.  She glanced over at Blake. “Just wait here, okay?” she instructed him. He nodded his head.

Immediately, Ava dashed across the living room and raced up the stairs, skipping two steps at a time. She was irate, her vision seeing nothing but red. At this point, she was no longer thinking clearly.

“Desean!” Ava called out his name as she reached the top of the stairs. Approaching the bedroom door, she kicked it open with her foot, the doorknob forcefully flying back hitting the back of the wall. Entering the room, Ava’s eyes landed on a half-naked Desean who lay sprawled out on top of the bed dressed in only his boxers. Ava clenched her fist by her side, resisting the urge to jump on top of him and rip his head off. “Desean!” she shouted his name even louder this time. Her sudden scream made him jump out of his sleep.

“Huhhh???” he sleepily lifted his head.  He turned and looked around the room while rubbing his sleepy eyes. “Andrea???” he called out the woman’s name that had already left.

Ava glared. “Guess again mother fucker.”

Desean sat up, focusing his sight on her face. Immediately upon recognizing who was standing in the doorway, his eyes widened in shock. “Ava!” he shouted out to her while abruptly sitting up. He immediately swung his feet over on the side of the bed. Ava stood in the doorway intensely staring him down as he scrambled to his feet.

Desean was now fully awake. “Baby!” he shouted out while approaching her. “I’m so surprised to see you! What are you doing here???”

Ava shot him a disgusted look. She looked his half naked body up and down before speaking. “What am I doing here??? This is my house too!!! My name is on this lease!!! Did you forget that???” she looked around the room checking to make sure no one else was here.

Desean reached out to her. “Ava… please… let me explain!”

Quickly, she jumped back as soon as she felt him getting close to her. “Don’t you dare touch me!” she shouted at him.

Immediately, he pulled away staring at her with defeat in his eyes. He had been caught red handed. Ava extended her finger across and pointed towards the large canopy in the middle of the room. “That is my bed! Those are my sheets! Those are my clothes in that closet! How dare you allow another woman lay up in the house that I still live in??? What is your fucking problem???”

Desean held his hands up in silence. She could tell he wanted to say something, but he was at a loss for words. “Av—Ava….” He stammered her name. “Ava… I didn’t do anything with that girl. I just met her… We hooked up at the club, had a few drinks and we came back here to hang out. That’s it, I swear.”

Ava glared. His excuses meant nothing but it didn’t stop him from pleading. “You haven’t returned any of my calls…. I thought I lost you for good… I just needed someone to talk to.” Desean poorly pleaded his case, making an extremely horrible effort. Ava rolled her eyes. She heard enough lies. It was time to end this once and for all.

She held out her hand and extended it in his direction. “Where is my car keys Desean??? You need to give them to me now!” She ordered him to hand them over. Things were going to get ugly if he didn’t comply. Desean dropped his head, a surprising expression of guilt spreading over his face. Slowly, he turned his back to her and walked towards the nightstand. Ava followed him with her eyes watching his every move. He bent down, opened the drawer and retrieved her car keys after digging inside. Secretly, Ava breathed a sigh of relief after laying eyes on them. Finally, the worst part was over.

He walked back to her and dropped the keys in her hand with his head still hanging low. “So what does this mean for us???” he asked in a sad, depressed tone.

Ava dropped her keys in her back pocket while examining him. His expression was remorseful, but she knew it was only because he had been caught. And to think once upon a time, Ava would have given in. She would have fallen victim to his lies. To his cheap ass apologies. She rolled her eyes, immediately deciding in her mind she had something better planned for her life.  She no longer grew weak for Desean. His puppy dog eyes no longer had an effect on her.

 “It’s over...” she blurted it out. His jaw practically dropped to the floor in astonishment.

“Wha—Whattttt???” he stammered. “It’s over??? What are you saying??” he repeated her as if he did not hear her correctly. As if she were speaking a different language.

Ava took a deep breath. He was begging for answers and although he didn’t deserve the truth, he was going to get it. “There’s someone else, Desean…” she blurted it out. Ava pressed her lips together tightly after the confession slipped past her lips.

Silence.

Instantly, Desean fell quiet. The room was now still. Both of their bodies were frozen. Initially, Ava did not look his way. She awkwardly stared in the opposite direction while silently wishing he would say something first. She was afraid to see his expression. Ava knew Desean too well. His sudden silence was not a good indicator. Hesitantly, she looked up glancing his way. To her dismay, Desean stood eerily quiet. He stared at his feet blankly while swaying back and forth. She could sense he was about to have one of his episodes. Ava stepped back towards the closet, creating a safe distance between the two before finishing. “I didn’t expect for any of this to happen…” she continued. “I didn’t expect to fall for him… but I did… I need you to understand Desean… I love you… But I’m not in love with you anymore…”

Silence again.

 Desean continued to stare at the floor blankly. He appeared checked out and completely absent minded from the conversation. Almost 2 minutes had passed and he had yet to say a word. Ava held her breath and nervously took two more steps back, entering the closet doorway. She was fearful to turn her back to him. “I’m going to pack my clothes… Okay???” She asked him for approval although she did not need it. Ava was moving out regardless to if he agreed or not.

 Silence.

Hesitantly, she turned her back and walked inside the doorframe. Once entering the closet, she looked up and scanned her side which was overly stuffed with clothes, shoes and designer handbags. Ava sighed. She had a lot to pack. A lot more than what she desired to take. Apart of her wanted to leave everything behind and start fresh. Brand new with no recollections of the past. Her old wardrobe brought back so many memories. Each article of clothing had some sort of story. A memory. Memories she didn’t care about treasuring anymore. It was time to move on. Time to leave her old life behind…

 “You’re not leaving me, Ava….”

In an instant, her muscles tensed after hearing Desean’s chilling voice finally speak out directly behind her. She froze feeling his hot breath hitting the back of her neck. He was standing close. Extremely close. Ava was now trembling. 

“Desean, please…. Just let me go…” she pleaded, masking the shakiness in her voice. She was afraid of him. There was no telling what Desean was capable of when he was angry. She shuddered as she felt his hands suddenly reach out and grip her ass.

“How dare you say there’s someone else, bitch???!!!” he growled in an angry tone. Ava’s eyes widened. She never heard him speak this way. He never called her out her name until now. Desean groped her waist even tighter. “This ass is mines! I’ll be damned if you ever give away what’s mines!”

Forcefully, Ava began to wiggle around in his embrace, attempting to remove his hands from her waist. “Get the fuck off of me! Get off! Get off!” she shouted at him. Desean didn’t listen. He pushed her body against the closet wall and pinned her arms down so she could not move.

“I love you, Ava!” he crazily shouted at her with a crazed look in his eyes. He had gone off the deep end. Ava had pushed him over the edge. “It’s me and you forever baby! Nothing you do or say will change that… I’m never letting you go, Ava… Ever” Desean pulled her in by the back of their neck and puckered his lips. “Give me a kiss. I missed those lips…” Seeing him extend his neck towards her immediately made her want to vomit. Wildly, Ava swung her arms in each and every direction, attempting to fight him off. “You’re crazyyyyyyyyy!” she shouted.  “Let go of me! Let go! Let go!”

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

Suddenly Desean’s body went flying. BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!  His grip behind her neck loosened. Ava shrieked after witnessing Desean being knocked off his feet.  She quickly reached for the wall to catch herself from falling with him. As if in slow motion, Desean landed on the floor with a huge thud. to the floor. “Ahhh!” His large figure made a loud sound as it forcefully landed to the ground. He howled out in pain. “What the fuckkkkk?” he cussed. Blake stood in the doorway with his fists clenched by his side.  He stared down at Desean while fuming, appearing as if he wanted to kill him dead. “Don’t you ever put your hands on my lady! I will kill you mother fucker!”

Desean laid on the floor holding his head. He was completely winded from the blow and was shaking his dizziness. Blake had appeared out of nowhere. Ava didn’t even hear him enter the room. She stared in-between the two men dumbfounded.

“You okay???” Blake asked her.

Slowly, SHE swallowed the lump in her throat and nodded her head. “I’m fine.” She answered. Blake had come just in time.

 “Shit!” Desean looked around the closet trying to figure out what hit him. “What the fuck just happened??? Ava????” he called out her name. She did not answer. Quickly, she hopped over his sprawled out body and dashed out of the closet before he could grab a hold of her again. She hid behind Blake, grabbing his arm for protection. Slowly, Desean sat up. His knees wobbled as he got up from the floor, standing to his feet. Everything was a blur to him now. Blake had knocked his ass out real good. He finally stood up and faced them both. His eyes landed directly on Blake. Then on Ava. A surprised look immediately spread across his face as he looked back and forth in-between the two. “What the fuck is this????” he cussed.

Ava’s heart raced as Desean stared at her holding Blake’s arm.

“Ava!” He shouted her name again after she didn’t respond. “Answer me!  Who the fuck is this fool??? Why is he in our house???” Again, she did not answer him.  She couldn’t.

Blake stepped forward and answered for her. “I’m her man!” He responded firmly.

Desean gasped. His jaw dropped. “What the fuck is he talking about, Ava????” He turned his attention towards her. Blake didn’t allow her to respond. He reached back and wrapped his arms around her waist. He pulled her in securely, holding her close to his body. “Don’t speak to my lady that way.” He shot back at him. “It’s over man. You ain’t got shit to say to her anymore.”

Desean gasped again. He looked at Ava with wide eyes. She stared back at him nervously biting her lip. Ava had never seen him so shocked. She stared at the large lump on his head that was slowly beginning to form where Blake had hit him. Her heart fluttered in anxiety. She could no longer take seeing him standing here this way. She turned to Blake. “I want to leave… Now” she stated firmly.

Blake turned to her and raised an eyebrow. “What??? What about your clothes???” he asked.

Fuck those clothes! She answered inside her head. Ava was shaking. Her claustrophobia was beginning to kick in making her feel as if this room was closing in on her. “Blake, please…” she looked up, pleading with her eyes. “I have what I came for… My car keys…. I can’t handle all of this.” she spoke frantically. Ava was breaking down and about 5 seconds away from losing it.

Blake sighed. He shook his head, obviously unhappy with her decision to leave her things behind. He looked back at Desean and glared one last time. “Listen here mother fucker…” he inched towards him with a closed fist. “I’m getting her number changed. You stay the fuck away from my woman and you stay out of her life for good! Or else…. Or else I will kill you….” His tone was dark as he warned Desean to stay away. Ava stared at the serious look on his face. Blake clearly meant business. Desean surprisingly stood by quietly. He did not combat to Blake’s request. Instead, he looked over at her with a distraught look on his face. “Ava….” He called her name barely above a whisper. The anger in his face had melted. He looked hurt now. Devastated seeing her stand before him with another man. “Ava, don’t leave me like this… I need you… I love you…”

Frustratedly, she turned her back deciding she heard enough. Ava was tired of him saying he loved her but never really showing her. She had given him too many chances. Now, she didn’t feel sorry seeing him standing before her lumped up. He had brought this upon himself.  He had his chance to love her. Instead he lost her. Desean has issues I couldn’t fix. He’s mentally unstable…. Shamefully, it took 1,498 days for me to realize…

“Let’s go Blake.” She reached back and laced her fingers in-between his. He squeezed her hand back, giving her extreme confidence.

“I’m right behind you babe…” he answered.

For a second, the moment stood still in time. She took one last look at Desean and mouthed the words goodbye. To her surprise, a light tear began to form in the corner of his eye. She never seen him cry. Ava looked away before she could witness it. She glanced back at Blake. He was her hero. He saved her. Without wasting anymore time or any more precious energy, Ava led the way, pulled him out of the bedroom, down the stairs and out the front door before Desean could come after her again…

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 17.

 Chapter 17.

 

“Whatever you want baby. You name it and it is yours. Just tell me how much you need, and I will make sure that you have it…I’m going to show you how a man takes care of his woman if it’s the last thing I do…”

Ava smiled from ear to ear as she strolled up the walkway with her fingers laced in-between Blake’s. Together, they walked in a straight line holding hands. Shopping bags filled her other hand. The weight of the bag placed a crook in her arm muscles but she didn’t mind the extra baggage. Blake’s words sounded like music to her ears. She batted her eyelashes at him. “For real babe???” she asked. He chuckled at her giddiness then squeezed her hand tighter. “I never have been so serious about something in my life…” Ava’s heart fluttered as she listened to him talk. His words gave her comfort. He encouraged her. Together, they scrolled up the crowded breezeway which happened to be filled to the max today. It was a hectic and busy day inside the Wilmington Independence Mall. Traffic was heavy. All of the department stores were overly crowded with people. Blake and Ava had been shopping a little over an hour and she had already purchased more clothes than she could carry. She glanced over at Blake. “You think this is enough???” she asked him, holding out the bags so he could see.

His eyes dropped down to the designer shopping bags hanging from her arm. He smirked. “You tell me, babe. Is that enough to last you for the next few weeks???” he asked.

Ava’s brow furrowed as she calculated how quick she could go through 20 pair of jeans, 17 dresses, 15 shirts and 9 pair of shoes. Who was she kidding? Fairly quick. She smiled at Blake, feeling appreciative for everything he had done for her so far. This shopping spree was the exact thing she needed. A fresh, brand new start. Initially, Ava had no idea what she was going to do after making the decision to leave Desean and all of her clothes behind.  Little did she know, after all of the chaos had finally settled, Blake drove her straight to the mall and told her to pick out whatever she wanted. Not once did he ask for a price or a receipt. So far, Blake delivered on every single one of his promises. Ava gazed at him longingly as he walked. Blake was so damn fine and good looking. She trembled at his good looks while wandering what the hell took her so long to notice. He was attractive, nicely built, loyal, and honest. He was everything she had imagined her future husband to be. Perfection in the flesh… She took a deep breath, feeling as if he were indeed too good to be true. Ava had extreme bad luck when it comes to men. Apart of her wanted to open up and let her guard down, but another part couldn’t help but worry that something would eventually go wrong.

“Yeah, I think this is enough…” she finally answered after shaking herself out of deep thought. “Let’s get some ice cream then head out of here.” She pointed to an ice cream stand that sat in the middle of the mall.

“Sure, baby. Whatever you want.” He allowed her to lead the way. Ava loved the way he said yes to everything. He was committed to pleasing her and that was something she was not used to having. She smiled as they trailed across the mall to the ice cream stand.  

 “Well well well…. look at who it is?????” A female voice suddenly surfaced directly behind them, making Ava halt in her trucks. “If it isn’t Miss Backstabber! How funny running into you here…”

She stopped in place. Ava knew that voice all too well. Blake stopped next to her. He took the initiative to turn first to see who stood behind them. Ava on the other hand didn’t need to turn to look because she knew exactly who the voice belonged to. Slowly, she began to glance over her shoulder.

“What’s up Ava??? How you been???” the voice greeted her in an unwarming, sarcastic tone as if they really cared about her wellbeing. Ava took a deep breath and fully turned around to face the woman standing behind her. Just her luck. She had been avoiding this conversation and had no plans on revisiting the drama.  Apparently she could not avoid it forever.

 “Jade…” she spoke below a whisper, calling out to the person standing in front of her. The person she used to be so close with. In return, Jade stood in front of her emotionless staring her down as if she were a stranger. She looked back and forth in-between Blake and Ava in disgust. “I see you two are still at it, huh???” She asked while rolling her neck at them. Guiltily, Ava looked away. Against her will, she and Blake had been spotted together once again.

Surprisingly, Blake stepped up first after Ava did not respond. “Listen, Jade…” he called out to her in a soft and sympathetic tone. “I really feel bad about what happened. I didn’t mean for it to go down like this…”

Immediately, Jade smacked her lips and rolled her eyes at him. “Boy, please!” she held her hand up in front of his face, stopping him before he could finish. “This has nothing to do you with you… I could care less about you…” she reverted her glare back to Ava. “It’s about friendship… It’s about trust… This woman was my best friend… she betrayed me!”

 Ava continued to stand quiet, her defense mechanism pretty much nonexistent. Everything Jade was saying about her was true. She was indeed a backstabber. An untrustworthy friend. Ava acted selfishly with no concern or care for anyone else’s feelings. There was no taking back what she had done nor was there any explaining. Jade stepped forward, now inches away from her face. Clearly, she was not taking her silence very well.

“I’m glad I see where your loyalty lies….” She looked her up and down sizing her up. Jade was extremely close. Close enough to the point it made Ava uncomfortable. She began to think about the other night at the club. She backed away.

“I’m sorry, Jade. I really am.” Ava continued backing away until she was back by Blake’s side. “I hope you will find it in your heart to forgive me someday…” She stopped, leaned over and slipped her arm into his. Immediately, Jade’s jaw dropped upon seeing her reach out and embrace him.

Ava straightened her posture. “I would never do anything to hurt you intentionally… But I need you to understand… This is my life and this is the way it is. I’m with Blake now. He really means a lot to me… I don’t want to lose our friendship, but I cannot give him up… You can either accept that or hate me forever… The choice is yours…”

Jade gasped and placed a hand on her chest. She was shocked by what she just heard. Ava glanced up at Blake who too seemed shocked by her answer. She was living her life vicariously now. No longer allowing others to dictate her happiness.

“Wow… I can’t believe you’re choosing DICK over your friend!” Jade ridiculed her. “There’s no sex in the world that will ever make me sell my soul to the devil! Not ever!” Jade irately shouted at her in a loud tone which was beginning to attract attention from the crowd walking by. Ava smacked her lips. She did not want another repeat of the other night nor could she guarantee she would have the same restraints if Jade put her hands on her again.

To her luck, she turned on her heel to leave. “Fuck both of you! You’re both going to get your karma!” she shouted one last insult as she hurried to the exit, leaving the two standing there watching her scurry away. Ava gulped, her last words were chilling. She hoped what Jade was saying wasn’t true. She hoped and prayed her decisions would not ultimately backfire on her. Ava sighed. Secretly, she was happy she was gone. Surprisingly, seeing Jade leave didn’t hurt as bad as it did the last time.  For once, Ava was happy with herself. Happy with life. She had spent too many years being selfless, catering to others wants and needs completely putting her own on the back burner. But not anymore. She turned to Blake, who was looking down at her smiling in admiration. He reached for her hand and held it tightly. “I’m proud of you…” he applauded her.

Ava blushed. She was proud of herself too. For the longest, she didn’t believe she had what it takes to stand up for what she believed in. But now, she had proven herself wrong.

“You okay???” he asked for reassurance.

Ava smiled the most genuine smile she ever smiled. She answered with confidence. “Better than ever…”

He smirked then attractively rubbed his finger against her lips, making her pussy twitch. "I love to see you standing up for our relationship... That's so sexy..." he leaned down and begin to kiss her softly which immediately turned her on. Closing her eyes, Ava threw her arms around his shoulders and began to kiss him back. His lips were soft. His kisses were sweet. Ava indulged into his embrace. She didn't care who saw or who was walking by. She passionately kissed him in the middle of the mall standing in front of the ice cream stand. Every second with Blake was special. Each and every kiss felt like the first one all over again. Moments like this made her feel so alive.

He pulled apart and them smiled at her. “I have a surprise for you…” he suddenly blurted it out.

Ava looked up, feeling drunk off of his sweet touch. She glanced at him confusingly while attempting to regain her focus. “A surprise???” she asked. “What is it???”

Blake chuckled then tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. “If I told you, it wouldn’t be a surprise now would it?” He laughed.

Ava smirked then titled her head, wandering what he had up his sleeve this time. Blake had done so much for her in so much little time. Little did he know, nothing material could make her any happier than she was right now. It he wanted her to wait, she would patiently do whatever he asked.

“Fine…” she smiled. “I’m excited to see what it is….”

He held her hand tightly and pulled her closer to him. “I’m still getting some things ready but you’re going to love it… I know it…” He spoke confidently as if he were adamant on taking her breath away with this surprise. Apart of her was eager to find out what he had planned. Whatever it was, she knew it would be special.

“Forget this icecream.” She waved her hand deciding dairy was the last thing on her mind now. She held his hand and winked. “I’d rather have you for desert instead.”

 

 

 

 

Chapter 18.

 Chapter 18.

 

“No can do, Hazel. Sorry, your name is not on the list… The entry fee is $15 tonight if you would like to come inside…I’m sorry. I wish I could help…”

The man had already repeated himself three times. Each time he spoke, it sounded as if he were speaking a different language. Ava stood before him frozen still. It was a breezy night outside. The tight maroon colored dress she wore was skimp and short.  She hadn’t worn her jacket and goosebumps were beginning to form on her shoulders and legs. She looked up at the tall, 6’5 figure towering over her. His posture was firm as he guarded the large black doors behind him. Ava stared at him in disbelief. She couldn’t believe the words coming out of his mouth.

“Wha---What???” she stammered. Her hands were shaky. Ava looked over her shoulder at the long line waiting impatiently behind her. She made eye contact with several strangers who were looking at her as if they wanted her to move the hell out of the way and stop holding up the line. She turned back to the man. “Come on Ghost…” she called him by his name, letting him know she was about to get personal. He stood before her with his arms crossed over his chest. The large white words on his black t-shirt read. “SECURITY.” 

Ava stepped forward “There has to be some sort of mistake. My name has to be on the list!” she pointed towards the black book in hand, demanding him to take another look.

Ghost sighed and shook his head as if he felt sorry for her. “I’ve checked, Hazel. Several times…”

Ava stared at him with a dumbfounded look on her face. She knew Ghost was just doing his job, but she could not comprehend why her name was not on the list. She glared, feeling her patience wearing thin. “Well somebody needs to do some explaining!” Her voice was growing loud. Everyone was staring. Surprisingly, the embarrassment did not stop her.   “I have to work the bar tonight, Ghost! Why would I pay 15 dollars if I never paid before???”  Ava threw her hands up in the air like a crazed woman. She was completely baffled and could not believe Ghost was charging her an entry fee to go inside Whiskeys, which was something he had never done before. Suddenly, interrupting her thoughts, a familiar face appeared behind Ghost on the other side of the door. “Heyyyyy Hazel!” the person greeted Ava upon seeing her face.

Ava looked up, locking eyes with Sweet Pea, one of the bartenders at the club. Sweet pea had changed her hair to a different color. It was now light blue and extremely vibrant and bright which was typical of her. That woman insisted on changing her hair into extremely outrageous colors. Ava waved at her, thankful to see someone coming to her rescue.

“Sweet Pea, can you please tell Ghost my name is supposed to be on the list???” she extended her arm towards him, desperately pleading for Sweet Pea to back her up. Instead, she nervously bit her lip and looked in a different direction. Her sudden change of expression made Ava’s heart sink into her stomach.

“Come on girl, let’s talk.” Sweet Pea stepped down from the entrance and walked around Ghost. Ava stood shocked, knowing immediately something fishy was going on around here. Sweet Pea grabbed a hold of her arm and began to pull her away from the door and away from the crowd. Unwillingly, Ava fell into step behind her wandering what the hell she needed to talk to her about. Indeed, they worked alongside each other. But they were not close friends and did not engage in much conversation outside of work. After walking out of ear shot, Sweet Pea turned to face her. Her expression was now serious.

“Look, Hazel… I hate to break it to you like this… but you no longer work here…”

The words hit her like a dagger to the chest. Immediately, Ava’s jaw dropped to the floor. Her eyes widened in bafflement. “Whattttt???” she screamed back at her, her loud tone echoing through the night.

“Shhhhhh…” Sweet Pea put her finger to her lips shushing her.  “Not so loud!”

Ava gasped, feeling herself a few minutes away from hyperventilating. “Whattttt???” she repeated herself again. “Are you fucking kidding me??? What the hell is going on Sweet Pea???!! What do you mean I don’t work here????”

Sweet Pea shook her head disappointedly. She sighed. “Can’t say I agree, Hazel. You’re a bomb ass bartender and you’re good at what you do… This is coming straight from the boss. I’m just the messenger.”

Again, Ava gasped in disbelief as Sweet Pea referenced the boss, the owner of Club Whiskeys. Ava had never met him before nor did she know him by name. He usually stayed locked up in his office and only came downstairs when it was time to sign checks. Ava was shocked to find out it was the him that wanted her out of here.

“But--- But---“she stammered, feeling her tough demeanor weakening. “But why??? What did I do??? I haven’t done anything wrong.” Ava swayed, feeling herself become weak. This was all too much and hitting her like a bus upon impact. None of this made sense. Ava had done everything right. She showed up early for her shifts and constantly stayed late whenever they needed help closing the bar. Ava had learned her job immaculately and did everything underneath the sun to create a good name for herself here. Obviously, her hard work meant nothing at all.

Sweet Pea sighed again. “Word got back to the boss about what happened the other night with you and your friend…...”

Immediately, Ava’s body tensed. The dagger inside her chest twisted even deeper.

“He wasn’t happy to hear about the little altercation you had.” Sweet pea continued. “He’s very serious about eliminating physical violence inside his club. No one is exempt. Not even his employees.”

The more she spoke, the more Ava’s body quivered. Her mind unwillingly revisited that night. She could still see Jade swinging her hand back as far as she could and slapping the hell out of her with all the strength she could muster. She could still see those faces standing around watching them.

“That wasn’t supposed to go down like that…” Ava gave a poor excuse with her shoulders slumped low. Sweet Pea sincerely nodded her head. She was on her side but there was nothing she could do to help. She did not call the shots.

“I know you didn’t mean for it to happen that way. I tried to tell him, but he said he wants you out… I’m really sorry, Hazel…”

Ava fell quiet, a dark feeling of depression suddenly invading her body. Her sanity was slipping and she could not pull it together. Ava had never been fired from a job. Ever. Her life was spiraling out of control and she could not regain control of the wheel. Slowly but surely, Ava was losing everything she had worked so hard for.

“Will you be okay?” Sweet Pea asked, noticing her mind had drifted off.

Ava looked up, snapping herself out of a daze. She wanted to scream that she wouldn’t be alright, but none of that mattered. Her body could not show any emotions. She was numb. “I’m so shocked. I can’t believe this…” Ava was no longer shaking. No longer hurting. She could no longer feel anything.

“You will be fine girl.” Sweet Pea offered her words of encouragement and a pat on the shoulder.  “You’re smart, you’re talented and you’re beautiful. You don’t need this place!” Sweet Pea’s words were sincere but gave her no comfort. This woman had no idea what she been through. A lot had gone wrong in Ava’s life. A lot that was possibly unfixable. She began to back away.

“Thanks Sweet Pea…” Ava hurried to thank her while backing away towards the parking lot. “Look, I got to go. Thanks for the heads up.” She threw her hand up and waved. She was now desperate to get the hell away from this place.

Sweet pea watched her walking away with a raised eyebrow. “You sure you going to be alright?” she called after her.

Ava didn’t have the strength to answer. Instead, she shot her a thumbs up, waved again, and turned on her heel to walk away towards her car which was parked around the corner. Ava walked fast. Her heels were practically burning underneath her feet as she skipped through the dirt. She needed to get back to her car before she had a panic attack. She didn’t want anyone else around to witness her demise.  

Reaching her car, she hurried to click the lock, swung open the door and hopped inside, safely shutting herself away from the world. Ava was out of breath and mentally frantic.  She quickly dug into her purse to retrieve her cellphone. Her hands were shaky. She couldn’t control them as they trembled on top of her phone screen. She scrolled through her recent call list and located the phone number she needed. Pressing dial, she pressed the phone to her ear and impatiently waited while it rung.

“Hello???” A deep voice answered the phone.

“Blake!” Ava shrieked out as soon as she heard his voice on the line.

“Baby???” he answered back in an alert tone. He could hear the panic in her voice. “Baby, what’s wrong???? Where are you??? Are you okay???”

Hearing the concern in his voice made Ava immediately burst into tears. She hunched over the wheel and began to bawl crying out loud. Ava hadn’t cried in weeks. Taking away her self-independence was the key to breaking her down. “They fired me, Blake! They fired me! They fired me!” she shouted it over and over again, the harsh reality of the situation hitting her hard.

“What???!!!” he shouted back. He too sounded shocked.

She choked on her cries while explaining what happened. “My boss found out about the argument I had with Jade… I can’t believe I lost my job behind this! What do I dooooo Blake? I feel like I’m losing everything!” Tears ran down her cheeks hitting the top of her lips as she cried to him. She felt defeated. No matter how hard she fought, it’s like she couldn’t win.

“You haven’t lost everything Ava… You still have me… Stop crying baby…” Blake’s deep soft voice soothed her on the other end. Surprisingly, she stopped crying. She wiped the tears from her cheeks and cleared her runny nose.  Something about his voice put a calm over. Ava could hear him sighing on the other line. He fell silent for a few moments before finally opening his mouth to speak.

“I wanted to save this surprise for you… But I guess this cannot wait…”

He referenced the surprise he mentioned yesterday at the mall. Although she had been excited initially to find out what it was, she was less than enthusiastic now. “What’s the surprise Blake?” she asked unexcitedly.

“I’m going to send an address in a text message. Can you meet me there in 15 minutes?” he asked.

An address? Ava sat up in her seat. “Blake, what’s going on????” she asked nervously. She was now fully attentive. He did not provide her with any additional answers.

“Just meet me there in 15.” He gave her no reassurance. Ava silently nodded her head as if he could see her.

“Okay, babe…” she answered. Ava did not question him any further. Truth be told, whatever he had up his sleeve, she trusted it. She trusted Blake with all of her heart. Although she did not believe this surprise would ultimately solve her problems, it was worth a try. Things could only get better before they got any worse. After saying her goodbyes, Ava hung up the cellphone and crunk up the engine. Surprisingly, she felt a small sort of relief. Blake was right. She may have lost a lot in such a short amount of time, but she still had him by her side. Ava took one last look at Club Whiskeys, taking a long deep breath. This would be her last night ever stepping foot in this place. She never imagined things to end this way but everything happens for a reason. Now Ava had become desperate on finding out exactly what that reason was. Placing the car in reverse, she quickly backed out of the parking space, sped out of the parking lot and pulled out into the street racing away from the club.

 

Chapter 19.

Chapter 19.

 

“Keep your eyes closed, Ava. Do not peek… Whatever you do… Don’t open your eyes…”

Hesitantly and nervously, Ava nodded her head, agreeing not to peek. Blake stood close behind her directing her where to go. Her eyes were shaded by the palm of his hands. She couldn’t sneak a peek even if she wanted to. He had covered her eyes pretty good.

“Okay baby watch your step. There are 3 stairs here.” He led her hand leading her the entire way. Blinded by his handmade mask, Ava followed his directions and began to walk up 3 steps. Her knees were shaking in nervousness. She had no idea what was going on.

“Blakeeeee…” she hesitantly called his name, feeling her anxiety about to kick in.

He laughed at her hesitance. “Just keep walking baby. We are almost there. Trust me, you’re going to love it.”

Ava nervously bit her lip, but she continued walking. Although she had no idea what she was about to walk into, she trusted Blake with her safety and knew he would never do anything to put her in harm’s way. He stopped her in place, making her stand still.

“Okay now, wait here and keep your eyes closed…” He spoke anxiously.

Ava broke out into a nervous panic. “Wait here???” she repeated.

“Just give me a second, baby. Please don’t peek!” he begged her to keep her eyes closed once again. Ava sighed and nodded her head. Apart of her wanted to know finally what all the suspense was about. But then again, she loved how adamant he was on surprising her. She could hear shuffling in the background before Blake’s voice resurfaced. “Okay, Ava… Open your eyes…”

She did not open them immediately. She was hesitant. Ava hoped she liked the surprise. Then again, she hoped she had the courage to muster up a fake response in case she did not. She took a deep breath relaxing her racing heart before slowly creeping her eyelids open.

“Oh my God….” Her eyes widened. Her jaw dropped in astonishment. Blake stood before her grinning, watching her expression turn completely appalled.

“Oh my God…” Ava repeated herself again.

“What do you think???” Blake asked, extending his arm towards the surprise.

Ava couldn’t answer him. She continued staring speechlessly with wide eyes and an open jaw.

“What??? Huhhh??? Uhhhhh… Blakeeeee” she stammered over his name. Her eyes scanned the large 2 story house that towered over her. The house was a Victorian, redbrick house topped with copper domes and spires. New. Fairly new. The door was wide as it was tall. The windows took up entire walls on the outside of the house with polished steel beams breaking them into yet more rectangles. Ava was breath taken by the beautiful large, modern home that stood over her. The grass was green. The flowers were vibrant and consisted of multiple bright colors. The garden wrapped around the front yard had been newly inputted. The most noticeable decoration was the large pink and white banner hanging from the door with two balloons tied against a lamp post. The large black words on the banner read “WELCOME HOME AVA.”

Ava stared as if she were seeing a ghost. “Oh my God…” she muttered once again. “What is this??? Blake… I’m confused…” Immediately, she turned lightheaded. Ava swayed, losing her balance and almost losing her consciousness.

“Whoaaaaa…” Blake reached forward and caught her before she could stumble over. “Does that mean you like it???” he asked while chuckling and holding her in his arms.

Ava still could not answer him. She was astounded by this surprise. Using the palm of his hand, Blake straightened her posture helping her back on her feet.

“I know this may seem like a lot...” he held her hand after noticing how shocked she was. “This is all for you babe… For us and the life we are going to build together. You won’t have to worry about a thing as long as you have me. I promise you that…” he stared at her, wanting her to say something. Slowly, she looked back at the house in fear that she was going to wake up at any second and discover this all to be a dream. It wasn’t. This was real.

“Baby…” she finally spoke out, whispering in a shaky voice. “Babe, what is this? What does this mean??? Whose house is this??? Really???” she pointed at the large welcome home banner hanging over her head. Blake smiled even wider. He placed his hand on the side of her cheek and stroked her skin. “Ava, I can show you better than I can tell you… You deserve everything that I have in store for you…’’ He reached down to grab her hand and began to lightly pull her to the door. “Come on, let’s go inside.”

She didn’t budge. Blake looked back, noticing she hadn’t moved. Her feet were still firmly planted on the floor stuck in time. “Baby, please…” Blake begged her with his eyes, pleading for her to follow his lead. “Trust me… You’re not going to regret this…”

Ava grew weak almost immediately. She couldn’t say no to him. She was undeniably indebted to his every want and need. Ava breathed in and out, then stepped forward following his direction. He smiled and lightly pulled her towards the entrance. Ava followed him holding his hand tightly. She watched him approach the front door, dig into his pocket and retrieve a set of house keys. He slipped the key into the lock, pushed open the door then stepped to the side. “Ladies first…” he extended his arm towards the doorway letting her walk in first then smiled that damningly attractive smile. She obeyed his instructions. Ava stepped up, entering the foyer with Blake following closely behind.

“Oh my goodness, baby!” Ava shrieked out in shock. The smell of fresh paint floated through her nostrils as she entered the doorway. To the least of her expectations, the house was fully furnished. The walls were painted a fashionable shade of white and amber colors. The main stairway led down into a tall galleried living room with a red velvet rug spread out over the floor and a fireplace big enough to park a car in. The kitchen was open and spacious with glossy white surfaces, stainless steel appliances and granite enforced walls. The house was breath taking. Practically a mini mansion. Ava looked around in awe, guessing the house couldn’t be any less than 5000 square feet. She turned to Blake, who stood by watching her admire the house.

Ava walked towards him in a quick pace. Indeed, the inside and out of this place was absolutely stunning. Breathtaking. But this was all too much. She approached him with a bothered look on her face. “Blake, the house is beautiful. It really is. But what’s going on??? What am I going to do with a house this big???” she asked him while pointing around the large living room. The large area was extremely spacious. The ceilings were too high to reach. He smiled at her before responding. “You’re going to live in it…” he answered simply.

Ava took a step back and stared at him with wide eyes. Blake was so calm. Ava ran her fingers through her hair overwhelmingly. “I don’t have a job!” she shouted. “How am I going to afford to live in a place like this??? How am I going to pay the rent???” she looked at him crazily while hoping he had a good answer for all of this. Blake’s expression did not change. He had already figured everything out. “You’re not paying the rent, Ava…” he spoke firmly while giving her a serious look. “I am….”

Once again, her body froze. “Wha- Whaaat???” she stammered confusingly.

Blake walked towards where she was standing and slipped his arms around her waist. He pulled her into his chest before speaking. “I will still have my condo. Don’t worry about that.” He cradled her body close. His smell was manly but so sweet. Blake knew exactly what he was doing to her each and every time he touched her.

“I figured since you’re going to be around for a long time, the condo would not be enough space for us…” he continued, finally explaining why he was doing this. She stared longingly into his eyes, soaking up every word.

“I know you just got out of a live in relationship and I don’t want to force that on you so soon… That’s the reason why I am keeping my condo… I want to give you all the space you need, Ava. But whenever you are ready to have me here fulltime, just let me know… I’m here…” 
She fell silent, staring deep into his beautiful hazel brown eyes. A sudden warm familiar feeling spread over her heart. He held her tightly staring back at her. At this very moment, Ava was feeling something she had never felt before with any man… Not even with Desean. Suddenly she was coming to the realization what caring about someone was really about. The man of her dreams had been staring her right in the face for so many years. She had been foolish for so long ignoring all the signs. But not anymore. Ava couldn’t give up on this. She never had someone in her life that cared about her so genuinely the way Blake did. He went out of his way to please her. To make sure she was okay. That was something she never had with any man. Not with her father. Not with Desean. Not with anyone. Ava looked down to the floor, feeling a tear escape her eye. She tried to wipe it away but he noticed instantly.

“What’s wrong, Ava???” he asked in a seductive tone making her want to cry out and also turning her on at the same time. Another tear fell out of her other eye, but she did not wipe it away this time. Instead, she smiled through her tears. “Nothing… It’s just that… I think…. I think…" she reached up and grabbed his cheek, stroking his smooth skin. She took a deep breath before continuing then smiled from ear to ear. "I think I’m falling in love with you Blake….” 
Silence.
The words had finally escaped her lips. The truth had been let out and she could not take them back. Surprisingly, she did not want to.

Blake was shocked by what he just heard. He backed away, her smile fading as she watched him step back. The distance instantly made her nervous. “Ava… I… I…” he stuttered. Secretly, she was turned on even more by how uneasy he had become. He seemed so taken aback by what she just told him. It wasn't the reaction she expected. Ava stepped forward, refusing to back down. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and pulled him back in. “I don't mean to scare you baby but this has been heavy on my mind. Everything feels so right…" Ava spoke confidently.  She smiled. "I’ve never had a man that treats me the way you do, Blake. I’m in love with you and I know for sure…. I want this forever….” She bit her lip and stopped talking after feeling like she had given him a mouth full. As nervous as Ava was about starting over, she was couldn’t have imagined starting a new life with anyone else other than Blake Weiss.

Finally, after being quiet he spoke…” Ava…” Blake called out to her. Again, she loved the way he said her name. For some many years, she shielded her true identity from him in fears of opening up to the wrong person. But not anymore. Now she was 100% sure.
He wrapped his arms around her waist and held her tightly, instantly boosting her confidence. “Ava, you have no idea how many years I have waited for you to say that…”

She smiled, his response giving her so much relief. "Do you love me, Blake???” she couldn’t help but ask.

Immediately his jaw clenched, his mind pondering upon the answer. His hesitance to respond instantly made Ava regret asking. After a few seconds went by, he sighed. “I can’t believe you’re asking me that…” Blake shook his head frustratedly which took her by surprise. Before she could explain her reasons for asking, he continued. “Of course I love you, Ava… I loved you since the day I met you... I knew from the beginning your heart was honest and genuine. I needed that in a woman and I wasn't going to give up until I had it... Ava Hazel Sweeney I been love with you for 11 dammit years... That’s a long time”

Ava gasped. She stared at him with wide eyes as he professed his love. No one ever expressed their feelings to her this way. Ever. Blake laughed, leaned down and kissed her partly open mouth before continuing. “I love you so much, Ava. Even when I couldn’t have you…. I just wanted you to be with someone who was going to care for you and treat you like the queen you are… But now it’s my turn… And I’m going to do everything right that the last man failed to do… I’m never going to let you go… You are mines forever…”

Never…. Letting go…You are mines…. forever… She repeated his last sentence inside her head.
The words sounded so familiar but felt so different this time. She knew he meant every bit of it which gave her so much satisfaction and confidence in herself. As if she could conquer the world if she wanted to. Ava didn’t say anything else. She reached up, pulled his face down by the neck and pressed her lips into his. She began to kiss him passionately, strongly massaging her lips into his. He kissed her back, his tongue dancing around on hers. Blake’s lips were so soft and sweet. He kissed her like he meant it, which made her weak in the knees each time their lips met. “Mmmmm…” Ava moaned. It was official. Blake was her man now. She was his woman. He was all hers and she was all is. Ava stirred her crotch around his manhood, feeling as if she could really get used to this. He was everything she had ever wanted in a man. That fairytale happy ending that she had been longing for since childhood. She felt his hands travel down to her waist and tug at the tip of her skirt. “Can I make love to you, Ava? Please?” He pleaded in the sexiest voice she ever heard. She smiled then reached down to grab his hand. Ava stopped him before he could go down any further then pulled back. Blake’s hand’s dejectedly dropped by his side. His jaw clenched while watching her step back. “Not tonight, huh?” he asked.

Ava smiled even wider. She did not respond. Instead, she took two more steps back, creating a distance between them. He watched her closely as she stood before him enticing him. She could see his large manhood bulging out of his pants. It was so hard teasing Blake without teasing her damn self. She bit her bottom lip, then reached down and tugged at the edge of her skirt. Swiftly, she pulled them down past her waist, past her knees and down to her ankles. Blake stared at her fully attentive as she began to undress. Ava smiled, reached for her top and pulled it over her head.

“Damn…” Blake licked his lips.   Ava stood before him now fully naked. He admired her body from head to toe, scanning her up and down with his eyes. Ava smiled. She felt so comfortable around Blake and didn’t mind showing every inch of her. Slowly, she sashayed to where he stood while running her hands down her smooth buttermilk skin. She walked sexily, being sure he had enough time to admire her before getting too close. Ava approached and stopped in front of him. He reached out to touch her, but she quickly caught his hands and put them back by his side. “No, don’t…” she instructed him to keep his hands to himself. Blake seemed confused, but he obeyed and drew himself back. Ava smirked.  His patience was so sexy. No matter how much she tempted him, he never rushed her. Blake was so calm. So smooth. So perfect.

She reached up and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. Ava lifted up on her tippy toes and softly kissed him. She held him tight, as if she wanted to savor this moment forever. This was her new life. This was her new home. And Blake was her new man. Everything happens for a reason… Certain things fall apart so something better can come together… Ava was content. Genuinely happy. She pulled apart from his kiss, placed her hand on his chest then pushed him back on the sofa which was positioned directly behind him. He fell back with a surprised look on his face and landed on the middle of the couch. She stood over him and spread her legs. His eyes widened as they dropped down to the juices dripping down her leg. She was juicy wet. Ava didn’t get this wet for anyone but Blake. She smiled then leaned over, her large breast dangling in front of his face. “You always make love to me, baby... And you do it so well… it’s my turn this time…”

He didn’t say anything. He stared at her in shock by her sudden moves. His shock turned Ava on even more, making her pussy even wetter. She leaned down and began to unfasten his belt buckle. Blake didn’t protest. He laid back as she toyed with his zipper. “You have done so much for me, baby… I really appreciate it…” she purred in her sexy voice while dipping her hand inside his open jeans and retrieving his large chocolate dick. Slowly, she began to caress his manhood while licking her lips. “I want to show you how much I appreciate you… everything I’m about to do to you, you deserve…”

He was drawn in. Hooked on her every move. Closing her eyes, Ava leaned down then ran her tongue around the rim of his dick. “Mmmmm…” he moaned out as soon as if he felt the warmth of her lips. She wrapped them around the tip, sucking lightly but not going too hard.

“Damn, Ava….” Blake ran his hands through her hair as she sucked. She hadn’t put it all the way in and could already feel him shaking. It was now or never. Ava opened her mouth wide and swallowed him whole.

“Ahhhhhh….” He reacted immediately.

Ava rolled her neck as she slurped and sucked, sucking his dick like a mad woman. He tasted so good. His scent was clean as if he had just stepped out the shower. Ava slipped her fingers underneath her pussy and began to finger herself as she sucked him.

“Mmmmmm…” Ava moaned while sliding him in and out of her mouth. She had never been a big fan of sucking dick, but it was something about Blake’s taste and the way he filled her mouth.  Pleasing him pleased her. She looked up at him while sucking. His head was thrown back with his eyes closed. He was enjoying every minute of it. Ava pulled him out of her mouth then stood to her feet. He looked up at her standing over him, completely vulnerable. She smiled, climbed on top of the sofa and straddled both legs over his lap. Positioning herself on top of him, Ava plunged all of her weight onto his dick which happened to be standing upright.

“Fuckkkkkk….” He cussed as he felt her walls suddenly cascade down onto his large dick.

“Mmmmm, babyyyy…” Ava wrapped her arms around his shoulder, hugging him tight. She began to ride the hell out of him, holding the side of his cheek as she moaned into his ear. “Babyyyy, I love youuuuu… I love you sooooo much. ” she cried out to him while bouncing up and down even faster.

“I love you too, baby.” He gripped her ass and thrusts his hips into her, pushing directly onto her g-spot.

“Mmmmm…. I’m about to comeeeeeee…. She wined and grinded her hips, pressing her hips into him as hard as she could.  Ava was trembling. She tried her best to hold back. She always came first and never gave Blake a chance to do it before her. But she couldn’t hold it in.

“Ahhhhhhhhh…” her orgasm suddenly erupted like a firework. She trembled as she slumped over, winding her hips until the sensation between her legs slowly subsided. She leaned over and rested her head on his shoulder with his dick still inside her. “Damn, baby… It’s so good…” She complimented him, telling him what he already knew. Blake smiled and ran his hands up and down her hips, massaging her bare ass.

“Our first time in our new house… That was perfect.”

Ava laughed. She didn’t think about it that way. He was right. This was her new start. Her new beginning.  She was in love. A good kind of love. A love that made her feel so warm on the inside. She smiled then pulled apart. “So you going to show me around? Possibly to the shower?” she asked while winking, signaling a round 2.

He smirked, wrapped his arms around her waist tightly then stood up holding her. Ava laughed and wrapped her arms around his waist as he held her up in the air. Blake carried her naked body across the living room and up the stairs toward their brand new master bedroom.

 

 

 

Chapter 20.

Chapter 20.

 

 “Hello. This message is for Susan Fuller’s office. This is Ava Hazel Sweeney. Can you please pencil inside her notebook that I would like to cancel my appointment for next Saturday? I think I have everything figured out now.” Ava wore a huge smile on her face as she stood in the front of the line with her cellphone cradled in her right ear. She had been waiting close to 20 minutes and decided to kill time by making a long overdue phone call. Luckily, there was no answer so Ava happily left a voicemail. “I met someone, Susan… Well, not really met. We’ve known each other for a while. He’s so perfect. His name is Blake…. And I love him... He made me realize I didn’t need therapy or a therapist… I needed love…. Real love….”

“Next in line!” the female voice standing in front of her interrupted her in mid-sentence.

Ava smiled then hurried to end her phone call. “Sorry Susan, got to run. I hope you take care.” She ended the call and stuck her cellphone in her back pocket, proceeding to the front of the line. Ava had been meaning to call and cancel the therapy session she had rescheduled but never got around to it. It wasn’t until she received the appointment confirmation email that she decided to give Susan’s office a call and let her know her services were no longer needed. Blake was her meditation. He was her therapy.

“Alright ma’am. Your total is going to be $78.23. Will that be cash or card?”

The young woman before her had scanned her groceries pretty quickly and Ava didn’t have time to calculate the total while she was ringing everything up.

“Oh sorry…” she shook herself out her daze. “$78.23? Shit. I thought it would be cheaper than that.” Ava cursed under her breath, low enough for the female cashier not to here.  The female standing before her was young, no older than 16 with auburn red hair, pale white skin and freckles filling her cheeks. Luckily, she did not hear Ava’s complaints. The young woman smiled, waiting as Ava dug through her purse to retrieve her wallet.

“Sorry, it’s in here somewhere.” she continued digging around inside but so far was turning up empty. “Shit.” She cussed out loud. Looking up, Ava glanced at the bagged groceries waiting to be paid for which contained frozen meats, fresh vegetables, juices and ice cream. Tonight was her first official night at the new house with Blake. She had been so ecstatic to prepare their first home cooked meal that she had been too ecstatic and mistakenly left her wallet sitting on the kitchen counter. She sighed. Her new neighborhood was on the fancy side of town, about a 25-minute drive away. She wanted to slap herself upside the head for being so careless but quickly decided against scorning herself in public. Ava flashed a fake smile at the cashier. “I’m so sorry. It seems I have left my wallet at home.” She stepped back, deciding against holding up the line any longer. “Thank you for your patience young lady. I will be back to pay for my groceries within the hour.”

The young woman smiled and nodded. “No problem ma’am.” Quickly, she began to remove the bags from the bagging station.

“Wait before you do that!” A male voice suddenly called out behind her making the cashier stop in her tracks. The deep voice was so close it startled Ava. She jumped and turned to face the person standing behind her. Immediately upon locking gazes, Ava recognized the face.

“Lance!” she called out his name in a surprised tone. He was the last person she expected to see.

Lance stood before her smiling. His long dreads were tied back in a ponytail this time. He wore khaki slacks and pressed button down shirt. Ava had painted a pretty good visual of him inside her head because he was just as good looking as she remembered.

He stepped forward. “Let me get that for you…” he motioned towards her groceries.

Immediately, Ava shook her head. “Oh, noooo… I can’t let you do that.” She was quick to decline. Obviously, Lance wasn’t taking no for an answer. He laughed, stepped forward and handed the cashier a green American express card. “Here you go sweetie.” He handed over his form of payment.

Eagerly, the young woman accepted the card, swiped it and quickly processed the transaction. Within a matter of seconds, the receipt came spitting out before Ava could stop her. She handed it over. “Here you go. You both have a nice day.” She smiled at them from ear to ear.

Lance took the receipt, stuck it in his back pocket and grabbed Ava’s groceries. “Thanks you too.” He turned to Ava who stared at him with a shocked look on her face. “May I help bring these to your car???” he asked.

Nervously, Ava tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and nodded her head. “Yes. Sure.” He smiled and began to lead the way out of the store. Ava fell into step next to him. Together, they exited out of the sliding doors and walked on the outside towards the parking lot. Luckily, Ava parked pretty close to the building so the walk was not far. “I appreciate that… That was a very nice thing for you to do…” she thanked him sincerely as they approached her Toyota. He chuckled. “It’s the least I could do. Especially after standing you up the other night.” Ava tensed up as he mentioned the failed double date. She quickly waved her hand, hoping he didn’t want to talk about it in detail because she did not. “No big deal. Don’t worry about it.”

Lance shook his head. “It was a big deal to me because I wanted to see you…”

Ava tensed up even more. She stood awkwardly in front of him nervously looking in the opposite direction as he continued. “I had no idea Blake and Jade were planning a movie date. They completely left me out of the loop. Trust me, if I had known… I would have come running….”

She looked up at him, her heart fluttering as he apologized. He did not owe her one but it didn’t stop him from expressing his empathy. Ava mustered up a fake laugh, hoping this would be the end of the conversation. “It’s okay. It was last minute anyways…” she grabbed the bags from him, opened the trunk and placed them inside. She shut the trunk closed then turned back to Lance who was watching her closely. He was now quiet as he stared.

“Well, thanks again…“ she spoke awkwardly, feeling his gaze on her intensifying.

He nodded his head. “Sure anytime…” Stepping forward, Lance planted his feet in front of her. “I was wandering… Maybe I could make it up to you for the other night… Possibly dinner? Maybe a movie after? What do you think?”

Instantly, Ava’s heart began to race. Lance wanted her and had made that very clear since the day they met at the bar. She examined him closely. Ava could not deny it. Lance was extremely attractive to the point it was hard not to notice. But it was too late to even slightly consider giving him a chance. Seeing him so vulnerable for a response made her even weaker. He was such a nice guy. She hated letting the good ones down.

 “I’m sorry, Lance. I can’t…” she attempted to break it to him simple.

His face formed into a frown. He wanted a more detailed answer. “And why is that Miss Hazel???” he asked the question curiously as if attempting to read her mind.

Ava sighed, her shoulders slumping. For some reason, she felt bad telling the truth this time. But just like everyone else in this world, Lance needed to know. She was done hiding. No exceptions. Ava took a deep breath in and out before speaking. “I can’t go out with you because… Because... of Blake...” she finally answered.

Immediately, Lance raised a confused eyebrow. He wasn’t expecting to hear his name as a response. “Blake??? What does that mean??? What did that fool say about me???” he asked after assuming Blake was throwing salt on his game.

Ava nervously bit her lip then looked down at her feet. If only he knew, it went so much deeper than that. She shook her head. “He didn’t say anything bad about you… It’s not you Lance… I can’t go out with you because…. Because…. Because I am with him……. I am with Blake…” Ava blurted the words out then covered her mouth as if she said something bad. The truth had been revealed. The cat was out the bag.

 Lance’s jaw dropped to the floor. “What???!!!” he shouted back louder than Ava expected. He stared at her with wide eyes and an open mouth. His shock was extreme.  “Damn… since when??? When the hell did you start dating Blake???”

Ava looked at him strangely, wandering why in the hell he was so shocked. “This just happened.” She answered, deciding against getting specific. She shrugged her shoulders. “I tried to stop you before you paid for my groceries. I don’t have cash on me, but I can write you a check to cover it. “

Lance stared at the ground with his hands propped up on his hips. “I don’t need your money.”  He scratched his head, looking as if he were trying to put together the pieces. “I don’t understand. How did all of this happen??? What about Madison??? When the hell did they separate???”

Silence.

Instantly, Ava froze like a rock. Her gut painfully wrenched and a look of appall and horror immediately spread over her face. Madison Madison Madison... Her heart jumped crazily ultimately sinking to the pit of her stomach after hearing Lance mention the name she was told to forget about. Just hearing it again made her want to vomit all over his shoes. Madison Madison Madison... Keep it cool, Ava… Don’t lose it, don’t fucking lose it… 

“That is over…” she spoke numbly.

Lance shook his head. He did not seem very happy finding out about her relationship with Blake. “Madison is my god sister. She’s known Blake and I since we were kids. I sure as hell hope he isn’t playing her…”

Instantly, her existence shrunk even smaller. God sister? Kids? Playing her? She could hear every single word he was saying but not could comprehend a thing. “I said that’s over...” Ava stated it again absently in a shaky voice. She couldn’t put any emphasis behind what she was saying because of how numb she had grown.

Lance smacked his lips. “Maybe you should talk to Blake. It’s not my business to tell.” He did not say anything else. Slowly, he began to back away. He appeared disturbed and desperate to get away from her. “Sorry I asked. I got to go.”

For some reason, Ava could not snap herself out her daze. She watched him turn his back to her and began to scurry away. “Wait….” She whispered after him, but he did not hear her. Lance had already made his way clear across the parking lot. She stood in the same spot staring off into space, shaking. She panicked silently, beads of sweat trickling down her forehead.

“I’m supposed to be the only one…” Ava blankly spoke out loud to no one. She felt as if she had been shocked by an electric current. Taking a step back, she slowly moved to the driver’s side of her door and clicked the lock. Everything seemed so surreal and nothing made sense. Within a matter of seconds, her shock began to wear off, slowly forming into a ball of anger in the pit of her chest.

“That bastard!” Ava abruptly shouted out after coming to her senses. She was no longer in a daze. “He’s lying to me! I fucking knew it!” Clicking the lock, she swung the door open knowing exactly what she had to do and where she had to go. Blake was still at his condo and had scheduled to meet her at the house later tonight. Little did he know, he was in for a rude awakening. Opening the door wide, she hopped inside and slammed it shut behind her.

“Owwwww!” she screamed out after accidentally slamming the door shut on her arm. She was irate now and had to get to Blake before she hurt herself out of anger.

I told him I loved him! I opened up to him! Please say he’s not a snake! Please say this is not my karma!

Ava ignored the throbbing sensation in her left arm and hurried to crank the engine. She placed the ignition in reverse, backed out of the parking space and sped out of the lot heading in the direction towards Blake’s condo.

 

 

 

.  

 

 

 

Chapter 21.

Chapter 21.

 

It took less than 10 minutes for Ava to arrive to her destination. She drove like a mad woman across town and practically ran every single red light to get where she was going. Ava walked at a quick pace heading up the narrow hallway, taking several deep breaths. Her heart rate was racing out of control. Her hands trembled as she fumbled around for the key in her purse. She was enraged and could not stop herself from shaking the entire ride here. Get it together, Ava… You got this… You know how to handle yourself… Or at least you know how to pretend…

Ava steadied her shaking hand then slipped her key into the lock of the front door. Blake had given her a key to his condo and told her to use it whenever she needed to. Little did he know, she was furious. Fuming. You could practically see the smoke coming out of her ears as she panted. Ava stuck her key inside the door, pushed it open and stepped inside.

“Blake!” she shouted out his name.

Silence.                                    

Ava stuck her head in first and looked around. The living room and kitchen were empty. She knew he was home. His truck was parked downstairs and his shoes and coat sat at the front door as if he had just arrived not too long ago.

“Blake!” Ava shouted out even louder.

Still no answer.

Immediately, she became infuriated all over again. Ava walked inside and slammed the door shut behind her. The walls shook as she slammed it, making a picture frame come crashing down to the floor. SLAMMMMM! The wooden frame made a large sound as it fell.

“Shit!” Ava cussed and jumped to the side, the frame narrowly missing her feet.

 “Blakeeeeee! What the fuck are you doing???” she screamed out.

Silence once again.

Ava glared. There was no way in hell he didn’t hear that and he should have come up front to investigate. With each second of silence that passed, the more enraged she became. Balling her fist by her side, Ava charged across the living room towards the master bedroom with the veins popping out of her neck. She headed straight for his room where she knew he would be. Surprisingly, the door was closed.

“Blake!” Ava called out again. She forcefully pushed the door open with her hand, being sure to make a lot of noise upon entering. The door went flying open, her eyes landing on Blake’s manly figure laying sprawled out on the bed. He was stretched out over the covers fully dressed as if he had fallen asleep without changing his clothes. Ava rolled her eyes, restraining herself from hopping on top of him and strangling him to death. She could care less if he was sleeping. He was in for a rude awakening.

“Blake!” Ava kicked the foot of the bed to wake him up. To her surprise, he did not budge.

“Oh, your fake sleeping now?” she asked in a sarcastic tone then kicked the foot of the bed a second time. Again, Blake did not budge. She looked down at him with a raised eyebrow. His face was buried in the covers. Typically, he was a light sleeper. She peeped over his shoulder. “Helloooooooooo?” Ava basically screamed at him this time to wake him up.

Silence.

Instantly, her stomach twisted after he did not answer a third time. Her expression melted from angry to worried in a matter of seconds. “Blake…. Blake…. Blake…” Ava began to nervously call his name over and over again. But he did not answer. He did not move. He didn’t do anything.

  “Blake!!!!” Ava shrieked out after immediately sensing something was terribly wrong. She hopped up on the bed and straddled over him. “Baby, what’s happened???!! Are you okay??? Can you hear me???? Wake up!!!” she began to violently shake him by the shoulders. She shook him hard over and over again desperately trying to wake him up. But he would not move.

“Blakeeeeeee! What’s going onnnnnn??? Wake up! Wake up! Pleaseeeeeeeeeeee” she reached for his arm, checking for a pulse.

 “Ahhhh! Oh my god!!!” A frightened Ava immediately jumped back as she felt her fingertips brush against something unfamiliar. She fell off the bed and scrambled away, a petrified and horrid look plastered over her face. “Nooooooooooooo!” she screamed out in shock.

Like a zombie arising from the dead, Blake finally lifted his head. This time, her fall off the bed had awakened him. Slowly, he sleepily looked around the room. “Ava???” he called out, searching for her through his blurry vision.

Ava was quivering in panic. She didn’t answer him. Instead, she numbly backed away into a corner then stared at him as if she were staring at a ghost.

Finally, Blake looked towards her. He noticed her hunched in the corner with a dreadful look on her face. Slowly he sat up as if he hadn’t just awakened from a deep sleep. “Baby…” Blake rubbed his sleepy eyes. “What happened??? Are you okay??? Why are you staring at me like that???” he asked.

Ava could not say a word. She gaped at the man before her, now feeling as if she were staring at a stranger. Her widened eyes shifted from his face to his arm. Back to his face. Then back to his arm… Blake curiously followed her eyes to see what she kept staring at. He looked down at his right side then immediately jumped up upon seeing what was there. “Shit!” he exclaimed.

Ava was at a loss for words. She watched him jump to his feet and begin scrambling to unfasten the black leather belt that was tied tightly around his arm. Ava watched sadly, her heart breaking into a million pieces witnessing everything unfold.

“Ava! Baby! Please let me explain!” Blake attempted to do damage control. It sounded as if he were speaking gibberish. Ava leaned her head back on the wall, easily becoming lightheaded. She watched Blake desperately reach for a long Syringe needle that stuck out of a vein in his right forearm. He yanked it out and tossed the needle across the room as if getting rid of it would undo what she just saw.

“Ava, you have to understand… That stuff does not make me who I am… I’m a good man with bad habits baby…” he began walking towards her. Ava backed away further into the corner wishing she could disappear in it. For the first time in forever, she didn’t want Blake coming anywhere near her. 
“Ava please.” He begged after noticing her cowering away from him. The desperateness in his voice was evident. Ava had slid down the wall to the floor. She drew her legs to her chest and started rocking back and forth. She was beginning to hurt all over.

Blake dropped to his knees, looking at her with pleading eyes. She looked away. “Ava. I swear I am going to quit! I don’t want to lose you behind this! I love you too much!” Hearing him beg was going in one ear and out the other. The dismay from what she just witnessed would not subside. Instead it grew even larger with seemingly increased intensity. Cold shivers shot through Ava’s body. Everything was hitting her like a ton of bricks. The person she thought she knew was not who he claimed to be.

“How long???” Finally, she broke the silence. Ava asked the question in a low tone, staring off into space.

Blake reached forward and grabbed her hand, holding it close to his chest. “How long what, Ava???” he asked her to clarify her question.

She snapped, feeling the anger resurfacing as soon as he touched her. She snatched her hand away “I said how long, Blake???!!!” she shouted back, repeating herself loudly. “How long have you been shooting up fucking heroin???!!! How long have you been lying to meeeee???!!!”

Blake was taken aback by her abrupt questions. “Uhhhh...” He stumbled for an excuse. Clearly, he did know how to tell her the truth. He looked back at her with sorrow in his eyes. “Does that really matter, Ava??? It’s not important all.”

Hearing his response exasperated her. She narrowed her eyes, shooting him a cold glare. If only looks could kill… Sensing her extreme anger, Blake gave in and finally answered her. “Since college.” Shamefully, his head dropped and his shoulders slumped. “I had it really bad back then. But not anymore, Ava. I’ve changed… I’ve got control over my life now…”

Dread filled her heart after hearing his answer. “Oh nooooo!” Ava cried out then buried her face into her hands. She was so foolish. This had been going on for years without her noticing and she had idiotically fallen for his lies.

“Baby, you mean more to me than anything on this planet…” he reached for her a third time. He frowned after she pulled away from him once again. “This is all my fault Ava. I never should have kept this from you... I was afraid you would leave. I didn’t want to lose you…”

Now, everything he had to say seemed like a lie. Nothing sounded honest or genuine anymore.  It was just making her body weaker and the pain was becoming harder and harder to swallow.

“I trusted you…” she didn’t look at him as she spoke. Ava stared blankly at the wall, feeling herself about to lose it all. “I thought I was in love with you…” she whispered. “The real you…The real Blake Weiss… but I guess I wasn’t in love… This was all a lie… I was falling for a fucking dope head!”

Blake gasped. He was ashamed. Embarrassed as she shouted insults at him. Ava had never spoken to him this way.

“I’m not a dope head…” he defended himself weakly. “I haven’t touched a drug in over 6 months! I messed up this time, Ava…. I messed up bad…” He stared at her with those big brown eyes that she had once grown so weak for. Just seeing him staring at her this way brought back so many emotions. Painful emotions from a recent heartbreak that she wanted so badly to forget. That heartbreak was resurfacing, replaying itself over and over again inside her mind. Blake had done what no other man had done… Hurt her in a way she had never been hurt. He lifted her the highest she had ever been just to sit back and watch her fall.

Ava stood up, her knees buckling as she stood. Blake’s kneeled body followed her with his pleading eyes. She looked down at him and took a deep breath, resisting the urge to show her true emotions. She wanted to scream at him. Belittle him. Spat at him. But nothing she could think of satisfied the burning sensation in her chest. She had been lied to. Betrayed. Fooled by a man… Once again…

“I can’t be with you, Blake…” Ava fought back tears as best as she could. He looked up at her with a stunned look on his face. He wasn’t expecting for her to break things off. She sniffled. “I won’t allow you to do what Desean did to me… I’ve come to far… I can’t turn back now…. I just can’t do it…” She didn’t wait to hear his combativeness. She didn’t want to hear any more excuses. Abruptly, Ava brushed past his kneeling body.

“Ava, please wait!” He called after her but she did not listen. Quickly, she ran out of the bedroom and down the hallway towards the living room. She ran fast, desperate to get away before he caught up to her. Ava knew Blake well. There was no way he would allow her to leave without chasing after her.

“Ava!” suddenly she felt a strong hold grab her from behind and pull her back.

“Don’t touch meeeeee!” she shouted over her shoulder. Against her will, Blake had stopped her before she could reach the door, holding her in place. He pulled her back into his arms and pressed her body into his chest. “Ava, please don’t leave me like this!”

She forcefully wiggled around attempting to free herself from his embrace. “Get off of me, Blake!!!” Ava had no desire to be close to him at all. She could smell his intoxicating scent. She could feel the undeniable urge to break down and cry on his chest.  But she refused to give in. “I said get off!!!” Ava shouted a final time. Opening her mouth wide, she dug her teeth into the palm of his hand, clawing his skin as hard as she could with his teeth.

“Owwww!” he shouted out. Blake’s grip around her loosened. He set her free and Ava wasted no time running in the opposite direction. She ran fast, creating a good distance between the two so he could not catch her again. Ava looked over her shoulder as she jetted down the hallway. Surprisingly, this time Blake did not run after her. He had sunken to the floor helplessly watching her run away from him. She ran fast but felt she were running in slow motion. Leaving him behind hurt so much more than she wanted it to. But he left her with no other choice. Ava dashed across the living room and swung open the door, hurrying out into the hallway and slamming it shut behind her.

 

 

Chapter 22.

Chapter 22.

 

Knock Knock Knock

“Ava… Ava, baby please let me in… I just want to talk to you… Baby please.”

Knock Knock Knock

The knocking sounded off throughout the living room.  “Baby, just give me 10 minutes. Just hear me out. If you don’t like what I have to say, I will leave you alone forever…”

Forever… The word sounded a lot longer than it actually was. Calmly, Ava sat in the living room of the new house positioned on the large love seat sofa with her feet kicked up on the middle table. She had been up all night, absolutely dreading the thought of falling asleep in this place. This place reminded her so much of the future she had planned with Blake. But she had nowhere else to go. Ava stared directly at the front door watching it as if she were watching an intriguing T.V show. Blake had been sitting outside knocking close to 3 hours now. Surprisingly, after being drenched by the home sprinkler system and also scorched by the hot beaming sun, he continued to sit on the front porch knocking every 30 minutes, begging for her to talk. Ava on the other hand had been listening to him knock with a glass of red wine rested in the palm of her hand. Truth be told, drinking was the only thing keeping her sane. The bitter taste of the red wine put her mind at ease and now she was feeling a little tipsy.

Knock Knock Knock

“Ava… Please don’t let it end like this… I know you are listening.” he continued to beg on the other side of the door. He was right. She was listening.

“We’ve been through so much together, babe. I need you now more than ever Ava. I need you to help me quit... I can’t let this shit kill me….”

Ava winced. He was hitting a soft spot against her will. She hated his irresistibility now more than ever. The thought of something bad happening to Blake tore her to pieces and secretly, she wandered whether this was all a lie or a genuine cry for help. What does it matter??? I’m done… I can’t be with a man who shoots up heroin!!! Ava clamped her eyes shut and continued to resist the urge to open the door.

“I fucked up, Ava… I thought I was doing everything right… I brought this big house in hopes of starting a new life together… But I guess there’s no more hope for that…I can’t believe you and I are really over…”

Over…. We are really over…

Ava looked up, her eyes scanning the inside of the large living room that Blake had decorated for her. For the life of her, she had no idea what she was going to do with a house this big. It had only been two days since moving in and she still could not comprehend how fast the tables had turned. The man that she loved was sitting desperately on the side of that door while she sat on the other end refusing to let him in. But she wanted to. Badly. Everything felt so out of place in her heart. Everything felt so wrong.

 “Okay, Ava… I will go…” Blake called out to her. Finally he had given up. Ava could hear shuffling on the other side of the door, which indicated he had stood to his feet. “The rent is paid up for the next 6 months… If you decide to stay here long term, just give me a call and I will extend the lease…”

Ava clenched her jaw as she listened.

“I love you Ava.” He spoke one last time before leaving. “I fucked up and I realize that now… If I never see you again, I will be okay. I would have rather loved and lost you than to have never loved you at all. This past week has been the happiest week of my life… I just want you to know that…”

Her gut wrenched. Her entire soul ached. He was leaving and for some reason, just the thought of him walking away scared her to death. No matter what, Blake had always been in her corner. Even when she desperately tried to push him away, he would not budge. Apart of her knew it was best that he leaves now. But another part knew how much it would break her in the inside to look over her shoulder and see he was not standing there. She swallowed the large lump in her throat, feeling all of the emotions that she swallowed resurfacing. Abruptly, Ava hopped up, placed the half empty glass on the middle table and dashed across the living room towards the front door. She had to hurry before he got away. Ava had a lot to say. A lot that she held back initially. She could not allow him to leave without telling him exactly what was on her mind. One last time. Approaching the front door, Ava quickly snatched off the latch, twisted the top and bottom lock and swung open the door. Her eyes landed on Blake whose back was turned heading down the walk way towards his truck.
"HOW COULD YOU???!!!" Ava jumped right into it. She screamed loudly outside of the open door. Immediately upon hearing her voice, Blake stopped in his tracks and whipped his body around to face her. His eyes were widened in surprise to see she had finally opened the door. She stepped off the porch and charged right towards him. "How could you, Blake??!! How could you lie to meeeeeee??!!" she quickly approached, drew her arms back and forcefully shoved him in the chest as hard as she could. She had been wanting to do that since yesterday and finally mustered up the strength. Blake’s manly figure barely budged after being pushed.

"You knew about everything I been through! Why would you want to put me through that again???" Instantly, angry tears began cascading down her cheeks. The anguish and the alcohol had finally gotten the best of her. Ava’s chest weaved up and down as she bawled crying in-between sentences. "I thought you were special, Blake! I really did! But you're not! You’re exactly like Desean! You did exactly what he did!" She let it all out, tears spilling down her cheeks reaching the tip of her nose as she cried. She was devastated. Destroyed. Completely ruined by his love.

Suddenly, Blake stepped forward. He grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her in close to him.
"Nooooooo Blake..." Poorly, Ava attempted to fight him off. She didn’t want him to embrace her. She didn’t want to fall weak to him. But she was already weak. Unwillingly and tiringly, she collapsed into his arms and cried into his chest. Ava sobbed unattractively loud. Profusely. She buried her face deep, feeling her tears staining his t-shirt as she cried. She was shattered on the inside. Completely heartbroken. Ava pushed him away, her own vulnerability making her sick to her stomach. She took 5 steps back, feeling the need to create a distance. Blake watched her every move heavy heartedly. She could tell he was grieving and extremely remorseful for the pain he caused.

“Ava, I’m nothing like Desean…” he spoke softly proclaiming his innocence. Blake sighed deeply before continuing. “Desean didn’t care for you the way I do. He hurt you… Emotionally and physically… I would never do that to you. I love you too much…”

Ava fell silent as she listened. She wanted so badly to curse at him for being so damn beautiful and attractive. For the life of her, she didn’t understand how someone so fine could do so much damage to his own body.

Hesitantly, Blake stepped forward again. He approached slowly in fear that she would pull away. She did not this time. “Ava, I know you don’t want me to leave… I know you need me just like I need you.”

She stiffened upon hearing him speak so confidently. He spoke as if he were reading her mind. Unbeknownst to him, he was absolutely right. She didn’t want him to leave. Instead she wanted to yell, scream and shout at him then throw him back on their king sized bed and make long, hard passionate love to him. She let out another soft cry. Ava had been here before. This was all a cycle. A cycle she could not separate herself from.  “I just wanted to be happy… With you…I didn’t want any drama!”

Slyly, Blake reached forward and slipped his hand behind her neck. Ava was done resisting. It had become too hard. She sulked into his embrace. As badly as she wanted to continue fighting him off, she wanted to be inside his arms, listening to him tell her things were going to be alright.

“You will have your happily ever after baby… You will have everything that you deserve…” Blake held her tightly, running his hands up and down the nape of her back. His touch gave her so much comfort. Sadly, the person causing the pain was the only one who could band aid it. There was no denying the inevitable. Ava was head over heels in love.

She lifted her head from his chest and looked him the eyes. “Blake, you have to go to drug counseling! You need help! A kind of help that I cannot give…”

He nodded his head. Blake answered her with no hesitance. “I will.” To her surprise, he did not fight her on it at all.

“I’m serious!” she reiterated her statement. “I know someone. She’s really good. Her name is Susan Fuller… You have to go see her Blake! I will never be able to live with myself if I sit back and watch you kill yourself!”

He nodded his head again and reached for her hand. He was not combative. Clearly, he would have done whatever she asked. “I understand, Ava… and you’re right… Whatever it takes to get myself clean and make things right with you I will do.” She searched for a sign of deception in his voice. He seemed so honest and legit. Then again, he always seemed that way.

“Blake…” Ava whispered his name. “I was in a relationship with a raging alcoholic for 4 years and 7 months… He promised he was going to change almost every day. He never did…” she shuddered, just thinking about her ex bringing back painful memories. Memories that she did not want to compare. But it was hard not to. She sighed before continuing. “I genuinely believed he loved me… The same way I believed you did, Blake… But he turned on me… He switched on me like a light bulb….” Her head dropped and her eyes grew watery once again. Her heart was weak. Broken. She brushed away the tears before continuing. “I don’t want to see that with you, Blake… I don’t want to see the bad side of you… I want to remember you just how you are… If you know you’re going to hurt me in the long run, just let me go…. Please…” she begged. Pleaded.

Blake did not say another word. He stared at her seriously, pondering over everything she just said. He silently reached forward and wiped her tears away. His touch sent chills down her spine. She closed her eyes, secretly despising the fact that she could not get over the warm feeling he placed in her heart. Blake had wrapped her in yet another spell.

Suddenly, he dropped down to a bended knee. Ava gasped, his sudden movement staggering her. “Blake what are you doing???” she quickly asked as he kneeled before her. He smiled and grabbed her hand. Ava’s wide eyes grew even larger.

“Babe, I can still remember the day I met you… 11 years and 4 months ago. I will never ever forget the day I met the woman of my dreams…” Ava swayed, her knees weakened. She did her best to hold it together as he continued. “You seemed so peaceful sitting at the library table all by yourself. I didn’t want to disturb you... But I had to take that chance… You were the first woman I met that was interested in Japanese anime like I was. Tokyo Godfathers and Grave of the fireflies were my favorites. Out of all the Japanese anime in the world, surprisingly, they were your favorites too….”

Ava remembered that day precisely. She remembered the instant bond. Little did he know, Tokyo Godfathers and Grave of the fireflies were not her favorites. She only said that to impress him. “How could I forget?” Ava whispered, suddenly feeling guilty all over again for not realizing back then Blake had a problem.

He smiled at her. “On that day, Ava…. I knew you were the one for me… Even though you didn’t realize it at the time, I did… I realized it all along. You are the woman I was meant to be with. It was fate that put us together inside the library that day…” he slipped his hand in his right pocket, instantly boosting her extreme apprehension. Ava kept her eyes glued on his pocket the entire time. Seconds later, his hand resurfaced and pulled out a small red velvet box. Ava gulped, feeling the lump in her throat protruding out of her skin.

Blake smiled at her. The dreadful look on her face did not stop him from proceeding. “I don’t know any other way to say this other than to just say it, Ava…. I want to spend the rest of my life with you… I want to go to sleep and wake up next to you every day….” All of a sudden, Blake opened the red box revealing what was inside.

“Oh my goodness!” Ava shrieked out then covered her mouth in astonishment.  “No way! No way! No way!” she shouted in a muffled tone with her mouth covered. Ava gazed at the red box stunned.

Blake continued “I know this is a big shock to you and it may seem like I’m moving fast, but we aren’t getting any younger Ava… I need you in my life…. I can’t wait another 11 years …”

Positioning her hand in front of him, he reached inside the red box and pulled out the most beautiful, stunning, 14 carat cushion cut halo engagement ring that Ava had ever laid eyes on. She still goggled at the ring, completely blinded by the shine of the large diamond.  She had never seen a platinum ring so large and breath taking. At least not in person. Only in magazines and television shows. Blake removed the ring from the box and placed it onto the tip of her ring finger. “Ava Hazel Sweeney… You are the one. I know for sure… This is it for me… I want to spend the rest of my life with you… I want to go to sleep and wake up next to you every day… Baby??? Ava??? Would you make me the happiest man alive??? By becoming my wife???”

Time suddenly stood still. She weakly placed a hand on her forehead, feeling lightheaded. “Wha--- Whattttt?” she stammered.

Blake held her hand even tighter. He asked her the question a second time. “Ava Hazel… will you marry me????”

Even the second time, she didn’t comprehend. Ava stood numbly, attempting to say something. “I…. I….” she still stuttered, still at a loss for words. “Blake… I…. I don’t know what to say…. Can you stand up please???? I can’t talk to you when you’re down there…”

Blake frowned. Her response was not the one he hoped for. Blake stood up. “You don’t think I’m serious do you?” he asked.

Ava nervously bit her lip and refrained from answering immediately. He did look serious. So serious to the point it scared her to death.

 “Blake, we are in the beginning stages of our relationship. Why would we get married now??? Especially with all the problems we’re having? That’s a recipe for disaster!”

His expression did not change. He stared at her sensually as if he were staring at the woman of his dreams. “I love you. You love me. That’s all that matters and that’s all the explanation I need…”

Ava fell silent with a shocked look on her face. She didn’t have an immediate comeback. Blake was so firm and clearly standing by his decision to marry her. Ava on the other hand had never been so terrified in her life.

Blake stared back at her intensely. She stared back, her eyes dropping down to the ring again then back to his beautiful brown eyes. For a moment, she had a feeling of déjà vu. Desean had given her a ring similar to the one inside Blake’s hand. Just smaller with a much smaller diamond. Something about this moment felt different than the last time. This moment felt like a scene from a dream. The man that she dreamed of spending her life with wanted to spend his life with her in return. She sighed, secretly wandering why something so right still felt so wrong on the inside. Blake patiently awaited an answer. He was so calm spirited. So humble. Dammit, here comes the tears again…

"Blake... I love you... I have always loved you from the beginning...” Ava’s voice was shaky, but she continued.  “I was in denial then, but not anymore.  I'm too involved. I can't just walk away now. I feel like I have to be here to make sure you will be alright." She reached up and placed her hand on the side of his cheek. Silent tears ran down her face but she didn’t try to stop them.  "I love you with all my heart and I will be here to help you get clean… But… But… But I can't marry you baby....” she blurted it out. Immediately, Ava turned hysterical, bursting into dangerously erratic tears. She buried her face into her hands and cried loudly. “Not right now... I can't do it Blake... I love you so much! But I can’t be your wife!" Finally. She had sadly given him the answer he was waiting for. Ava had never felt to broken hearted and inconsolable in her life. She cried helplessly, feeling as if everything she hoped and dreamed for was falling apart. Deep down inside, Ava was infatuated by Blake undying love. Deep down inside a huge part of her wanted to say yes. She looked up at him with red poofy eyes. To her surprise, he did not look upset at all. Blake politely closed the box and stuck it back inside his right pocket. "It's okay baby..." Blake stroked her hair comforting her. "Not right now. I understand. Someday...." He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her in. Ava did not resist. She continued to cry and fell longingly into his arms, hugging his big broad shoulders. His embrace was the exact thing she needed.
She cried as he held her. Not right now… Someday… For some reason, his words gave her so much relief. She had hope. Blake was going to get clean. He was going to repair the damage he had caused in their relationship. There was still a chance. Still a chance at happiness.

 She pulled apart and looked him in the eyes. "You promise you will go see Susan??? Right???" Ava narrowed her eyes and asked one last time for reassurance. She needed to know that he was serious. She was no longer satisfied by promises with no action. Those days were long gone now.

Blake smiled warmly and nodded his head. “Baby, If you finally let me inside the house, we can go call Susan right now... I promise"
Ava lips curved into a smile for the first time all day. She breathed a sigh of relief. His answer was the exact thing she wanted to hear. Drying her tears, Ava reached for his hand. "Come on." she nodded her head directing for him to follow. "It’s getting dark out. Let's go inside..."
Of course he did not resist. Blake fell in step behind her as Ava led them up the pathway to the porch and back inside their home.

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 23.

Chapter 23.

 

“I told you babe! I told you the Patriots were going to win! The NFL is rigged! Did you see all of those flags the referee threw???” Ava was on the edge of her seat as she irately pointed her finger at the large flat screen television shouting at the top of her lungs as if she were shouting at a real person. Beads of sweat trickled down her forehead as she rocked back and forth. She was extremely anxious. “Fuckkk!” she cussed out loud watching the referee throw another flag. It was the 4th quarter in the AFC Championship game with only 1 minute and 22 seconds left to play. The Dallas Cowboys were down by 3 and extremely dependent on a field goal in order to win the game. But from the looks of things, Ava’s favorite football team was heading towards another loss. She balled up her fist and forcefully slammed it on the table. “Fuck this game! Fuck everything!” She was angry. Her nerves were officially shot. Ava could hear the sound of laughter behind her which made her even more agitated. She whipped her body around and glared.

“What’s funny???” she asked in a serious tone while narrowing her eyes. In return, the voice laughed at her again.

“You are…” he answered while shaking his head.

Ava smacked her lips and stood to her feet. She couldn’t take sitting still any longer. “Did you see that??? Did you see it??? The patriots cheated!!! How could you be so blind???” she was practically breathing fumes. She stood over a laughing Blake who was wearing a New England Patriots Jersey that she desperately wanted to snatch off his body. Obviously he found humor in her annoyance.

“Baby calm down…. It’s just a game…” he spoke calmly. Easy for him to say. Blake was a patriot’s fan. She on the other hand despised their entire existence.

Ava smacked her lips. She hated how calm he was about everything. But he was right. It was just a game that was over now thankfully. She plopped down next to him where he sat on the sofa. “I guess so…” she took a relaxing breath then rested her head on his shoulder. He smiled and wrapped his arm over her, pulling her in close. Ava did not resist. She slid over to his side of the couch and cuddled underneath him, melting in his arms. As usual, his embrace put her at ease. She could feel all of the bad energy slowly leaving her body while lying next to him. “I’m glad we got to watch the game together baby.” She ran her hands up and down his chest as she spoke.

He smiled. “Me too…”

Ava meant every word. Although she had put up a tough exterior in the beginning as if everything was figured out inside her head, she actually dreaded the thought of sleeping in this big large house without her man by her side. She needed Blake. Not financially but emotionally. Physically, she needed to feel his presence next to hers. Smell his scent.

 “I’m glad you decided to give us another chance.” Blake spoke as if he had been reading her mind. She pulled away and looked him into the eyes. Truthfully, Ava was glad she gave this another shot too. Being with him made her feel at home no matter where she was in the world. Blake made her feel safe. Alive.

Knock Knock Knock. 

The sound of someone knocking at the front door stopped her before she could respond. Ava jumped in her seat, the unexpected sound of a knock startling her. She looked over her shoulder towards the front door.

 Knock Knock Knock

Bam Bam Bam. 

Whoever was on the other side of the door began to knock forcefully. Ava’s expression immediately twisted into confusion. “What the hell???” she cussed out at whoever was on the other side of the door knocking so sudden and so loudly. Ava had not given this address to anyone and was not expecting any visitors. She turned to Blake, immediately noticing the look on his face which appeared just as confused as she was. “Are you having company???” she asked.

Blake shook his head dumbfounded. “No. Not at all…” Quickly, he got up from where he was sitting.

Bam Bam Bam. 

The loud knock sounded off again. Blake charged straight for the door and Ava wasted no time hopping up from the couch and following after him. They approached the door together, a nervous and edgy feeling spread over her body. She had no idea what to expect on the other side and based upon Blake’s defensive demeanor, he had no idea either.

“Who is it???” he called out.

No answer. Instead of a verbal response, the knocking continued.

Bam Bam Bam.

Anxiously, Ava cowered behind Blake as he prepared to open the door. She hoped it was someone going from house to house attempting to sell something.  But the force behind the knock sounded personal. Nervously, her palms grew sweaty as Blake unhooked the chain on the door, twisted the top and bottom lock and opened the door. He did not open it wide. Instead, he crept it open slowly and stuck his head out the door. Ava could not see over his shoulder but knew very well whoever was visiting was not there for her.

“You fucking bastard…” a dark and angry tone suddenly floated from the other side of the door. Ava’s body stiffened tightly as the sound of an unfamiliar voice suddenly filled her eardrums. Her eyes widened. She looked up at Blake. His back was turned to her so she could not immediately see his expression. A few moments had passed and he said nothing. He stared straight forward with his head partially stuck out of the door as if he were stuck in time and could not move.

“You bastard…” the voice repeated itself again. “You dirty, filthy fucking LIAR!”

Ava stood behind him stunned, waiting for Blake to make a move. He did not budge. He stood frozen still, staring at the person on the other side of the door silently without saying a word. Kicking her anxiety, Ava tapped his shoulder. “Um… hello???” she attempted to gain his attention which had lost focus. “Well, who is it Blake???” she asked anxiously. To her surprise, he did not respond to her.

“Who do you have in there, Blake??? Is that a woman I hear in the background???” the voice on the other side questioned who was standing inside the house behind him. Ava’s jaw dropped. Immediately, she stepped forward preparing to make her presence known. She nudged his 6-foot frame to the side moving him out of her way.

“Ava wait!” Blake desperately called out to stop her but it was too late. She had already knocked him off balance and swung the door wide open. Right away, her heart sunk into her stomach upon locking gazes with a young woman standing on the other side.

“Wow…” the voice spoke again after finally seeing Ava.

Ava gazed shockingly. The woman standing before her was about 5’7 with bright caramel skin, long wavy honey brown hair and large golden brown eyes. She wore a long trench coat draped over her curvy figure with her hands shoved inside her front two pockets. She looked Ava up and down, observing her closely. “And who are you???” the woman questioned her.

Ava stared, feeling herself drifting from reality.  She held onto the doorknob to stop herself from swaying. “I’m Ava…” she pretended to answer with confidence. “And who are you??? Why are you here at our house???”

The woman shot her a stumped look. She took several deep breaths as if she were composing herself. “Our house???” she crazily repeated her as if Ava said something completely insane. The woman frantically dug into her front pocket and pull out a folded up piece of paper. She opened it and began to read out loud the address. “114 Burns St…. Does that sound about right???” she asked sarcastically while extending the paper in Ava’s direction. “Here. Take a look…”

Ava’s eyes dropped down to the crinkled piece of paper, an immediate feeling of horror taking over after realizing Blake stood behind her still not saying a word.

“Here… take it…” the woman insisted she look. Ava was terrified at this point. She had no idea what this woman had to show her but whatever was on that paper pertained to this address. Ava couldn’t help her curiosity. She reached and grabbed it with shaky hands, bringing the document up to her face scanning the words.

“Wha—What is this???” she asked in a confused tone.

The woman gladly stepped forward and pointed her finger towards the top right hand corner. “Right there. Read that.”

Hesitantly, Ava followed her finger with her eyes. She nervously inhaled and exhaled before parting her lips to read out loud. “This mortgage loan correspondent agreement selling location 114 Burns St is made between Home Living Mortgage Incorporated the seller and……… and….”

Luckily, the door frame caught her fall. Ava gasped loudly, almost toppling over but grabbing the doorknob for support. Her instant shock hit her like a huge wave. She leaned against the door, her entire world crashing down as she reread the first line. “This mortgage loan correspondent agreement is made between Home Living Mortgage Incorporated the seller and……… and…. Mrs. Madison Weiss….” The paper fell from her hands immediately falling to the floor. She backed away quivering from head to toe. Madison. Madison. Madison.  The name she had heard before. The name she had so foolishly chosen to ignore.

As if a zombie rising from the dead, Blake’s voice suddenly resurfaced. He jumped forward. “Madison!” he erratically shouted her name in a startled tone. He quickly dropped down and scooped up the paper that fell to the floor. Bringing the paper up to his face, he scanned the words with a confused look on his face. “What the hell is this Madison???” he cursed. “Where is my name???? My name should be on this damn mortgage!”

Madison threw her head back and laughed arrogantly. She then narrowed her eyes, shooting him an evil glare. “Your name was removed from the mortgage as a cosigner when I refinanced the loan last year. What the hell makes you think you would have any ownership on a house that you do not fucking pay for???” her tone was wicked and cold as she questioned him. Ava had grown weary. She barely had the strength to stand anymore, so she backed far away in a corner.

Blake stumbled for words. “Madison…. I….I…..”

She held up her finger shushing him.  “I’m not done yet….” Reaching back into her front pocket, she dug deeper and retrieved another folded up piece of paper. Ava stood in the corner silently and senselessly watched everything unfold. She watched as Madison unfolded the paper, preparing to provide even more receipts. She scanned the document and began to read out loud. “$1,941.26 charged at the Wilmington Independence Mall…. $5,258.23 charged at Kay Jewelers….” She shot Blake a deadening glare. “That sound familiar???”

Blake stammered once again. “I…. I…Madison…” She did not wait for him to gather this words together. She stepped up from the porch and into the open doorway, stomping directly to where he stood. Forcefully, she drew her hand back and purposely tossed the paper right into his face. “It’s the credit card statement you fucking bastard!!!” she shouted as the paper fell over his head, past his shoulders and onto the floor.  “Did you really think I wouldn’t find out??? You took her shopping???!! You brought her A RING??!! With my FUCKING CREDIT CARD????!!!!!” her voice grew even louder and louder the more she screamed.

Ava’s jaw dropped. She looked over at Blake, praying to God what this woman was saying was not true. Her heart sunk, his expression giving her no confidence or reassurance. He shook his head. “Madison that is OUR credit card. My name is on the account and I pay the bill every month…I haven’t done anything wrong!”

She swung her hand back and attempted to slap him across the face. She swung at him hard, but Blake’s reflexes were good and had already dodged out of the way before she could hit him. “You bastard!” she screamed irately. “That is OUR credit card that we opened TOGETHER!!! As husband and wife!”

Ava grabbed her chest, those words stabbing her like a dagger right in the heart.

“What the hell is wrong with you Blake??? How could you do this to me???!!! I wanted to be with you!!!” Madison’s voice cracked and tears streamed down her face as she finally broke down. She cried heavily, choking on her tears while shouting at him. Ava could see the heartbreak and devastation written all over her face. This woman was in love with him.

 Blake shook his head, her cries weakening him. “Madison, I’m sorry you had to find out like this...” he apologized which obviously gave her no comfort. She continued to sob in front of him as he spoke. “I don’t understand… You left me… You asked for a divorce… I haven’t seen or spoken to you in over 6 months! I thought we were over…”

She glared, his response angering her all over again. Madison wiped her tears, stood on her tippy toes and shouted in his face.  “I left because HEROIN was more important to you than your wife! I gave you an ultimatum! But you kept shooting up drugs!”

Ava gasped once again in disbelief. Agonizing cramps filled her chest as the inner pain became harder to ignore. This was really happening. This was not a dream. This was not a nightmare. Suddenly, Madison reverted her attention across the room and locked gazes with Ava. The room fell silent and both ladies made eye contact, staring at each other silently and closely. Madison examined Ava from head to toe, studying every inch of her as if attempting to see what Blake really saw in her. The pain and hurt in this woman’s eyes was undeniable. Tears were forming but she blinked them away before they could fall again. Ava had no idea what Blake had done to this woman, but she could tell he had broken her in ways unexplainable. Madison turned up her nose after staring too long then turned back to Blake. “Just be honest…. Answer me truthfully, for once…” she walked to where Blake stood positioning herself in front of him to the point he had no other choice but to look her in the eye. “I don’t want to hear anymore fabrications. I just want the truth… Tell me, Blake…. Do you love her???”

 Silence.

Ava’s heart rate quickened, the topic of the conversation now being redirected on her. She backed even further in the corner, the question terrifying her before she could hear his answer. Blake did not respond immediately. His shoulders slumped and his head dropped. The silence was intense. He was ashamed to answer, which instantly broke Ava’s heart into a million pieces. For the first time since Madison had arrived, he slowly looked across the room in her direction finally acknowledging her presence. Ava flinched as soon as his eyes landed on her. She was sure he had forgotten about her. Blake sighed upon seeing her huddled in the corner almost as if he just realized she was standing there watching the entire thing happen. His expression was broken. Discombobulated. But she could not read him.  She did not have the same confidence in him that she once had. She had no confidence in his answer.

Slowly, Blake turned back to Madison with his head still hung low. He took another deep breath before parting his lips to respond. Slowly but surely, he nodded his head. “Yes…” he answered. “Yes I do… I do love her…” what felt like an eternity only lasted a couple of seconds. Finally, he answered without looking her in the eye. Ava’s gut wrenched and heart twisted a million different ways upon hearing his response.

Madison backed away. “Wow…” her tone had softened as she reached the door. “I see…” she spoke numbly.

Surprisingly, Blake reached for her attempting to stop her before she backed away. “Madison, please forgive me… I never meant to hurt you… I always loved you…” he called out to her in a pleading tone.

 Quickly, she snatched away before he could make contact. “Get away! Get away! Get away!” she clamped her eyes shut and flailed her arms around crazily. “Don’t touch me! Don’t come near me!!! I hate you!!!!!” Her screams were loud this time. She shouted a bunch of words that were unintelligible and hard to understand.

 “MADISON! MADISON! WHAT IS GOING ON???!!!”

Suddenly, Ava could hear another female voice loudly calling out to Madison from around the corner of the house. She paused, listening to someone shouting from the driveway. “Madison! I’m on my way!” The unfamiliar voice was growing closer. Ava could hear running footsteps running up the sidewalk heading to the door. She had no idea who the unfamiliar voice belonged to, but clearly, Madison has not shown up alone. Seconds later, a young petite woman that Ava never seen before came flying around the corner. The strange woman ran fast and was already panting by the time she reached the porch. “Madison!” she shouted her name again slightly out of breath. “Girl, I heard you screaming all the way from the car. Are you okay???” she frantically tied her long hair up into a pony tail then walked over to her and grabbed her by the shoulders. Madison timidly nodded her head, signaling she was okay. Ava examined the woman, her sudden appearance taking her by surprise. The woman was tall and slim and looked eerily similar to Madison almost as if they had the same face plastered on two separate bodies.

“Really, Madison. You brought your sister???” Blake questioned her while pointing at the woman. “Why did you bring her??? You know she’s nothing but drama!”

She turned to him with an evil glare, clearly not taking well to his insults.  “I got a name asshole!” she shouted at him. “My name is Aubrey! And anything that involves her involves me!” she leaned over and wiped the tears out of Madison eyes and fixed her hair. She then turned back to Blake and glared a second time. “You mother fucker! I’m sick of you making my sister cry! She does not need to get upset. It could hurt the baby!”

Silence.

All activity in the room suddenly ceased.

Ava instantly sunk to the floor, dramatically sliding down the wall with her hands covering her mouth. “Noooooo…” she whispered underneath her breath, barely making a sound. But no one heard her. She does not need to get upset. It could hurt the baby… Baby… Baby…. What baby???? 

Blake took two steps back. He was blown away by what he just heard. He stuttered over his words. “Madi-Madison--- What is she talking about???” he asked slowly.

Aubrey butted in once again and spoke in her place. “Yeah fool! You heard what I just said. She’s pregnant!” she reached over and placed a protective hand on Madison’s belly. Ava’s widened eyes, shifting down to her abdomen which was surprisingly now bulging out in front of her. The large trench coat Madison was wearing had masked her large belly very well.

“Madison, answer me!” Blake’s voice turned demanding. “You’re pregnant??? How??? When??? How far along are you???” he berated her with questions.

Madison had grown nervous now. She blushed than turned away. “7 months.” She answered.

Ava’s chest twisted once again. 7 months. Another significant unrepairable blow to the heart.

Blake’s breathing was heavy as he stared off into space. Visibly, you could tell he was doing the math inside his head. “7 months??? What does that mean, Madison??? Is it mines???” he asked her.

Hesitantly, Madison shrugged her shoulders. Based upon the look on her face, it hurt her to answer. “I don’t know.” She responded.

Blake’s jaw dropped.

Madison smacked her lips at his surprise then continued before he flipped out. “Yes! I did start dating someone after I moved out.” she confessed. Blake’s jaw dropped open even wider. Apparently, that was the last thing he expected to hear. She continued. “It was supposed to be a fling. But it got serious. A month later, I found out I was pregnant. After I told him I didn’t know if the baby was his or my ex-husbands, he left me.”  

Blake huffed. Ava watched him closely, attempting to determine if the expression on his face was surprised or disappointed. As usual, he was extremely hard to read. He had grown eerily quiet.

Ava stepped forward, feeling as if her presence had gone unnoticed long enough. “That’s it! I’ve heard enough!” she snapped loudly then resurfaced from the corner.

Aubrey looked over, Ava’s sudden appearance startling her. She hadn’t seen her standing in the corner. “Who the fuck is this bitch???” she cussed at them both.

Ava rolled her eyes and turned to Blake, feeling herself about to lose her patience. “She’s pregnant…” she stated what he apparently already heard. “What are you going to do, Blake??? Do you want to fix things with your wife??? Should I just leave???”

Silence.

Blake did not respond almost as if he didn’t even hear her. He continued to stare at Madison, paying no attention to her at all.

“You got another woman in my sister house????!!! HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND???!!!” Quickly, Aubrey charged right past Blake and straight across the room towards Ava. “Who the fuck do you think you are, bitch????” Aubrey walked fast towards her with a strange object in the center of her hand.  Ava jumped back. “Watch it girl.” She held up her hand. “You better not touch me! This doesn’t have anything to do with you.”

Before she could say another word, a spray of room temperature liquid instantly splashed right in the center of her face.

“Ahhhhhh!” Ava screamed out and staggered back, the sudden splash taking her by surprise. She clamped her eyes shut and almost stumbled on the recliner sofa that sat directly behind her. “Ahhhhhh!” she screamed again as the liquid began to creep past her eyelids and settle into the corner of her eyes. Desperately, she began wiping her face and rubbing her eyes. Within a matter of seconds, the liquid began to burn her skin profusely.

“Ahhhhhh! “ she screamed loudly, flailing her arms in the air. “Oh my God! She PEPPER SPRAYED ME!!!” Ava hunched over and screamed after realizing what was in her eyes. She coughed. Gagged. The liquid was strong, practically clogging her airway. She couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t see. She couldn’t do anything but scream out loud.

“What the fuck??!! Why did you do spray her Aubrey???” Ava could hear Madison in the background yelling at her sister for bringing out the pepper spray. Ava continued to cough while feeling as if her chest was about to collapse.

“Come on we have to go!” Aubrey’s voice resurfaced again. “Let’s go before that bitch calls the cops.”

Ava dropped to her knees and continued to cry out. “Ahhhh!” she screamed to the top of her lungs. “Blake! Blake help me!!!” she screamed in an angry voice while wandering why he had yet to come to her aid.

Before turning to leave, Madison made one last remark. “I’m selling the house, Blake. You have 3 days to get everything out of here and 2 days to bring down the balance on that credit card bill.” She spoke firmly. Officially. As if she were done with him for good. “You will be hearing from my lawyer and I will also be reaching out to you in 2 months for a DNA test. I think it’s time to end this marriage once and for all.” Ava could hear shuffling as both ladies prepared to exit. “Have a nice life Mr. Weiss. Oh and by the way, get your girl some water for her eyes. It looks like she’s dying over there.”

“Ahhhhhhh!” Ava screamed another helpless cry. Her eyes were burning. She couldn’t breathe through her nostrils. It felt as if her entire face was melting away. Instantly, she heard the door slam shut. They were gone.

“Ava!”  Blake’s voice shrieked out suddenly as if he were finally realizing her huddled on the floor. She could hear his footsteps dashing over to where she sat hunched over. She continued to cough and wheeze, hoping to catch a good breath. Suddenly, she could feel Blake scooping her up in his arms. Ava didn’t resist. She couldn’t see and needed the extra pair of eyes to lead her to water. Cradling her into his strong arms, Blake picked her up and carried her to the bathroom. “Hold on baby.”

Ava wanted to shout and scream that she had no other choice but to hold on. But she didn’t. She allowed Blake to carry her through the living room past the dining room and towards the guest bathroom. Kicking the door open with his feet, he flicked the lights on and carried her over to the shower. With her eyes still closed, Blake placed her inside with all of her clothes on and turned on the shower head. In an instant, Ava could feel the cold water come crashing down on the top of her body. An immediate relief spread through her chest as the water cascaded down her face. She sunk to the shower floor. “I can’t see… I still can’t see…”

Ava couldn’t cry. Her clothes were now soaking wet. She sat on the floor of the shower emotionless. The betrayal had immobilized her.

“Ava…” Blake whispered her name. She didn’t answer him. Instead, she rested her head against the shower wall and continued to allow the water to soak her skin.  Ava couldn’t believe she had just been pepper sprayed. She couldn’t believe Madison was actually real.

 “Ava I’m so sorry.” Blake apologized with his head hung low. “I can’t keep doing this to you. I don’t want to keep disappointing you.” He looked at her sprawled out body across the shower floor remorsefully. 
“I love you so much. But you deserve better than me… You asked me to let you go if I was going to hurt you… I wouldn’t be a man if I didn’t keep my word.”

 Each sentence that left his mouth completely shattered her on the inside. She could not say anything. The words would not form themselves. The truth had already been told. This place was not her home. Blake was not her man. He was married. He was going to have a baby.  This was the reality. One of the toughest pills she had ever to swallow.

“Ava, I got to go… You don’t have to leave tonight. I got 3 days to figure out where I’m going to move you next.” He turned his back and headed towards the doorway leaving her sitting inside the running shower. No more apologies. No explanation. Nothing.  

“Wait…” Ava called out to him.

He halted in the doorframe with his back turned. He took a deep breath. “Yeah?” he called out over his shoulder.

She stared at the back of him. If he loved her as much as he claimed she couldn’t understand why was he walking away. He promised he would never leave. He promised to never turn his back on her. She swallowed her tears before asking. “Do you want to be her with, Blake??? Is that why you are leaving???” she asked the question weakly as if she could barely speak. Her insides were hurting. Her heart had been snatched out of her chest and torn into pieces. Blake slowly looked over his shoulder. He stared at her. The look in his eyes was different. Distant. As if he were staring for the last time.

“I love you, Ava. I swear to God, I do… That’s why I’m letting you go….” Blake reassured his love for her one last time. Ava shuddered. She could not scream. She could not shout at him or chase after him. All she could do was lie helplessly underneath the water that poured down over her head. She was devastated.  Traumatized. As quickly as this man changed her life, he flipped it upside down just as easily. Things would never be the same. After today, she would never love the same. Love had defeated her. Love had broken her down to her lowest for what would be the last time. There was no coming back from this no matter how badly she wanted to. No matter how badly she loved the hell out of him….

With that being said, Blake took one last glance, mouthed the words “I love you.” turned on his heel and headed out of the bathroom down the hallway and out of the front door leaving her soaking in the shower alone.

 

Chapter 24.

Chapter 24.

 

Ding Dongggggg.

The sound of the doorbell loudly sounded off on the opposite side of the large black door. Ava used her index finger to ring the doorbell then anxiously stepped back, firmly planting her feet in the middle of the welcome mat. It was almost 10 o’clock. Her heart was racing out of control. The agitation had taken over. Ava began tapping her foot apprehensively while waiting. It had been a while since she had been outside these doors. Approximately 98 hours to be exact. Those 4 days felt more like an eternity. Now, she felt strange and awkward at the place where she once felt so comfortable. About another minute had passed and still no answer. Ava sighed dejectedly. She thought about ringing the doorbell again, but thought maybe the no answer was a sign. She had shown up running off adrenaline and had not been thinking clearly. I shouldn’t be here… Not now… Maybe it’s too soon… Maybe I should give it more time…

It didn’t take long for Ava to come to her senses. She had been standing on the porch knocking a little underneath 2 minutes before finally giving up. Quickly, Ava turned on her heel and began to skip in the opposite direction towards her car which was parked directly across the street. She walked fast, suddenly feeling desperate to get away. I have to stop this… I have to stop making spur of the moment decisions… I have to start doing better with my life!

“Hazel!” she halted in her tracks after hearing a voice shout out her middle name. She came to an abrupt standstill, her foot still raised in midair. She had not moved fast enough. Slowly, Ava peered over her shoulder glancing at the front door which had been opened wide “Hazel, is that you???” the voice called out to her from the porch.

She did not answer right away. Instead she nodded her hanging head instead of giving a verbal response. She was afraid to speak. Afraid that her presence was unwanted.

The figure stepped off the porch and began walking down the walkway heading to where she stood. Ava flinched as soon as the person approached, stopping two inches away from her sizing her up and down. “What’s up, Hazel??? What are you doing here???”

Ava choked. Initially, she had so much to say prior to showing up. But now that she was actually here, she did not know how to say any of it. She looked down at the floor, deciding to spit out before she accidentally swallowed the truth. She was here now and it was either now or never…

“I… I…. I’m sorry, Jade…. With all of my heart… I am sorry….”

Ava blurted it out. Finally. She let out what had been eating her up for days now. Jade stood before her dressed comfortably in pajama’s with her hair wrapped over her head. Seeing her blank expression reminded Ava how much she missed this damn woman. She missed talking to her. She missed telling her everything. She missed having a real friend. Ava covered her face embarrassed after becoming overwhelmed by her inner sadness. She lightly sobbed into her hand.  “I have never regretted something so much in my life, Jade. I miss you so much… I miss our friendship! Please forgive me for ruining everything! I need you to forgive me, Jade. Pleaseeeee!” she begged as she cried. Her guilty conscience had gotten the best of her and now she didn’t mind pleading. Ava couldn’t sleep. Couldn’t eat. She couldn’t move on with life unless Jade forgave her. She needed to make her wrongs a right.

In response, Jade stared at her blankly listening to her apologize. She didn’t seem very enthusiastic nor was she moved by Ava’s apology. She stepped forward. “What happened to your face Hazel???” she asked sternly but also concerned at the same time.

 Ava cowardly covered her eyes as if she could undo what Jade had already seen. She hoped she hadn’t noticed how badly her eyelids had swollen, but she did. “I think I had an allergic reaction. I got pepper sprayed.” Ava’s shoulders slumped after answering truthfully.

Jade’s jaw dropped in surprise. She gasped then stepped forward. “What??? Who the fuck pepper sprayed you??? Who would do such a thing???” she shouted in a startled tone. Jade was now fully attentive.

A cold shiver shot through Ava’s body. The thought was too painful process. Too heartbreaking to think of and too difficult to talk about. She didn’t want to remember. “That doesn’t matter.” Ava brushed off the question then reached for Jade’s hand. “You were right. About everything!”  I never should have thrown our friendship away over a man. I was so stupid! I never wanted to lose my friend!” Ava’s chest weaved up and down as she ranted. Once again, she burst into tears, this time louder and more hysterical than the first time. Once her cries began to flow, they wouldn’t stop. She cried hard, her shoulders bobbing up and down. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry! You were so right! Karma bit me right in the ass!” Ava felt weak. Beyond destroyed. Her tears had drained all the little energy she had left. Now she had nothing.

All of a sudden, she felt a pair of arms throw themselves around her shoulders taking her by surprise. “It’s okay, Hazel.” Out of nowhere, Jade pulled her in and wrapped her up in a huge warm hug. She held her tight. “All I wanted was a sincere apology…I forgive you…” Her words were like sweet music. Ava cried even harder and hugged her back tightly. “Oh Jade, thank you! Thank you so much!”

She pulled apart and looked her in the eyes. Surprisingly, Jade’s expression was just as apologetic.  “No, you were right Hazel. I never should have made you chose. I threw our friendship away over a man I just met. I was hurt. I should have told you how I felt. It wasn’t you.”

Ava wiped her tears. She smiled weakly. “Thank you so much. But you don’t have to apologize… Really. You did nothing wrong.”

Jade nodded her head. Her regretful demeanor proving just how selfless she really was. She held her hand. “Yeah, I know. But I have been meaning to apologize for hitting you while you were at work. That was wrong and completely out of character for me. I felt really bad about that.”

Surprisingly, Ava laughed. She covered her mouth in between her chuckles. “It’s okay… Honestly, I didn’t know you were that strong.”

Jade smiled but did not laugh with her. She squeezed her hand tightly. “Hazel, you don’t have to tell me what happened… but we need to get you to a hospital and make sure you’re alright. Your eyes are swelling up really bad.”

Ava blushed. She was embarrassed to show her face like this. But Jade was right. She needed to get herself checked out. “Okay…” she nodded her head and smiled a half smile. Silently, she thanked Jade for allowing her to keep things private. Ava was too disgusted with herself to reflect on the bad decisions she made. She wanted to forget. She wanted to numb herself from the pain.

 Jade took her hand and began leading her up the walkway back towards the house. “Come on.”

 Ava followed, her eyes glued on the front door.  Deep down, it felt so good to know she was still welcomed inside this home. She had come so close to losing one of the most important people in her life. And although there was a laundry list full of things Ava had lost, it was so reassuring to know that she did not lose a friend.

Jade led her into the doorway and shut it firmly behind her. “Let me grab my purse and keys then we will go."

Ava nodded her head and politely stood in the doorway. She watched silently as Jade scurried around the room to collect her belongings.

“Babe….” The sudden sound of a deep male voice instantly startled her. Ava jumped and turned her body towards the hallway where the deep voice was coming from. Seconds later, a manly figure emerged from around the corner dressed in only pajama pants and a tank top. Ava’s jaw dropped, watching as the man sleepily rubbed his eyes as if he had been asleep in the bedroom. “Baby, is everything all right???” he spoke directly to Jade.

Ava couldn’t hide her shock. She looked back and forth in between the two with a stunned look on her face. “Lanceeeeee???” she sputtered out the man’s name in a flabbergasted tone.  Lance was the very last person she expected to see standing in Jade’s living room. He looked over, apparently surprised to see her too. “Ava??? Are you alright??? What happened to your face???”

She stood open-mouthed. She was surprised and puzzled all at the same time. “Sorry…” she apologized after falling awkwardly silent. “I’m shocked to see you here, Lance. When did you two meet up???” she pointed back and forth in-between the two. “It’s only been 4 days. Did I miss something????”

Jade chuckled. She sashayed over to where Lance stood and wrapped her arms over his shoulders. He smiled back at her and slipped his arms around her waist pulling her in close. “Such a small world.” She answered. “I was at the college dropping my niece off and look who I ran into. He teaches one of her classes.” Lance gazed at her the entire time that she spoke, staring at her as if he were highly infatuated with her.

“Wow…” Ava mumbled. “Definitely a small world.”

Lance and Jade stood extremely close together. Their fingers were intertwined. She smiled at him again. “I know we are moving kind of fast, but it all makes sense.” They both gawked at each other while standing face to face. Ava was baffled by the irony. The chemistry between them was undeniable.

“I owe you, Hazel. I really appreciate you introducing us.” Lance turned and winked at her. “Looks like things worked out after all.”

Ava inspected him closely. She wanted to interrogate him badly. She wanted to know when and how this happened and if his intentions were truly pure. But she could see the look in his eyes. She could see the adornment when he looked at her.

“Wow…” Ava mumbled again. Her lips curved into a smile. Instantly, her shock turned into happiness. “This is great, Jade!” she exclaimed.

Jade laughed, her sudden excitement surprising her. “Really? You think we make a good couple???” she leaned over and playfully pressed her cheek next to his.

Ava smiled warmly then walked across the room towards them. She stopped in front of them both and placed a hand on both of their shoulders. “I’ve never seen something so beautiful in my life… I’m so happy for you both.”

Jade turned to her and smiled. She wrapped her up in another hug. “Thank you Hazel… I’m so happy you’re back in my life… I’m glad we’re friends again…”

Ava pulled apart and smiled. Jade deserved love. Jade deserved a good man. She deserved Lance.

As if snapping out of her daze, she abruptly straightened her posture. “Sorry, I almost lost focus. Let’s get you to a hospital, Ava.” She turned to Lance. “I will be back later tonight baby. Don’t wait up for me…”

Lance smiled, pulled her in and wrapped her up in a passionate kiss. She kissed him back sensually, rubbing her hands up and down his back as she indulged into his kisses. Ava stood by awkwardly, waiting for them to finish. Seconds later, Jade pulled back staring at his lips as if she wanted to kiss him again. But she composed herself. She winked at him, turned to Ava and began heading in her direction with her purse thrown over her shoulder. “Alright let’s go.” Ava nodded her head. She threw up her hand one last time, waved by to Lance then mouthed the words “Take care of her.” He shot her a thumbs up then waved back. Ava smiled, a feeling of inner peace suddenly taking over. This was a feeling she hadn’t felt in a while. She almost forgot it felt his damn good.

 Silently, Ava fell into step behind Jade, followed her out of the living room past the foyer and out of the front door to head to the emergency room.

 

 

 

 

Chapter 25.

Chapter 25.

 

“Alright, Ms. Sweeney. You will be perfectly fine. Make sure you go home, get some rest and drop your eyes with saline at least 2 times a day. The swelling will go down in no time.”

Ava looked up at the 6’2 doctor standing over her with his long white coat hanging to his knees. Dr. Harney was his name. She sat on an examining table with her legs crossed as Doctor Harney shined a bright light into both eyes.

“Thanks Doc. I feel much better now.” Ava thanked him for seeing her so quickly. She had only been in the emergency room 15 minutes prior to being called to the back to be checked out. Ava breathed a sigh of relief knowing she would be okay. Luckily, there was no extensive damage to her eyesight. She could see perfectly fine and would eventually heal from the emotional scars. She got up from the table and firmly planted her feet to the floor. He smiled and handed her a clipboard to sign. She signed the papers to be released, thanked him again and headed out of the double doors heading to the lobby. Silently, she trailed down the hallway towards the exit with her head hung low. Ava could barely fathom the fact that she was inside a hospital nor could she accept the reasoning behind what put her here. Her body had yet to grieve. Yet to comprehend everything she had lost. Ava neared the exit. She was desperate to get the hell out of this icy cold building. Desperate to figure out what she was going to do with her life now.

“Ava…” a chilling voice called her name as soon as she appeared around the corner. Ava came to an unexpected standstill after almost colliding with the wall. The emergency room lobby was filled with people. They stared at her strangely after stumbling into the room.

“Hello Ava…” the person called out to her again.

Her blood immediately ran cold. Ava knew that voice very well. So well that she knew who was speaking even with her back being turned. She nervously searched the lobby, her eyes landing on who Jade who stood by in the corner nervously biting her nails. Clearly, she had something to do with this person showing up unannounced.

“Ava, please talk to me…” Out of her peripheral view, she could see the manly figure walk across the room and head in her direction. The closer he got, the more horrified she became. She jumped back and screamed louder than she intended. “No! No! Don’t touch me!” Ava dashed away before the man could get close. She ran past several pair of eyes staring at her crazily then charged straight to where Jade stood in the corner. “Why did you invite him here???” she shifted her aggression towards Jade and shouted at her irately. “He shouldn’t be here!!! You don’t know what he has done to me!!!” Ava was livid. Furiously angry. Jade stared back at her with a staggered look on her face. She held her hands up in surrender. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know who else to call.”

Ava covered her face with her hands after hearing her response. She was embarrassed. “Dammit!” she cursed. Jade had no idea what was really going on. This wasn’t her fault at all. Ava only had herself to blame.

“What’s going on Hazel???” she nudged her making her lift her head. “What has he done to you??? What haven’t you been telling me?” she questioned her. Ava stared at Jade standing before her evidently concerned with a worried look on her face. This woman was truly oblivious to what was really going on in her life. She did not understand the severity of the pain this man had caused. Ava was tired of lying to her. She sighed. “There’s a lot you don’t know Jade…”

Immediately, she gasped after noticing the situation was more serious than she initially thought. “What??? But you two are such a happy couple!”

Ava smacked her lips, quickly remembering how convincing her lies had become over the years. She had become the master of deception.  “I will tell you everything….” Ava gave her a serious look, letting her know to prepare for an earful. “I’m going to step outside for a moment. Please wait for me…. Please don’t leave me here alone with him.” She narrowed her eyes, hinting that she was extremely serious. Nervously, Jade nodded her head.

Ava turned back to look over her shoulder. She turned to look at the person whom she was so afraid to face. The person she used to love…

“Desean…” Unhurriedly, she said his name after finally facing him. Just saying it after all this time burned the surface of her lips. Ava had sworn to herself she would never see or speak to this man ever again. Now, here he stood before her dressed casually in a pair of blue jeans and white t-shirt gazing at her as if he were desperate to talk. Although he looked the same, everything was different now. Ava sighed. She could not avoid him this time because he was blocking the exit.

“I’m sorry to show up unexpected.” Desean walked towards her slowly as if he were hesitating she would run away again. “Jade called and told me she was dropping you off to the emergency room. I rushed right here.”

Ava glared, his soft tone irritating the hell out of her. Ava saw right through the front. She rolled her eyes and held up her hand, stopping him before he could say anything else. “Let’s talk outside.” She rudely brushed past him and stomped towards the exit. The emergency room was crowded and clearly they had already gained an audience. Ava didn’t want any more strangers in her business. Desean followed closely behind her. They exited the waiting room and walked out of the sliding doors. The night breeze felt good hitting her skin as soon as she stepped outside.

“Come on. Over here….” She walked to the side of the building with Desean close behind her. He was extremely quiet which was unlike him. Ava wasn’t buying his calm manner. He had some sort of trick up his sleeve. She knew him all too well.

 After locating a spot out of earshot, she turned to Desean with an annoyed expression. Truth be told, she didn’t want to be bothered with any more of his apologies. She didn’t want to hear anymore lies. “What do you want this time??? Haven’t you messed up my life enough already???” Ava didn’t hold back. She immediately began jumping down his throat.

Desean guiltily stared at the ground. He stuffed his hands in his pockets before responding. “I was worried about you, Ava… That’s why I came…”

She rolled her eyes, throwing her head back and laughing nonchalantly. “Why would you be worried about me??? After everything that has happened, why do you even care????”

 Desean sighed. He seemed distraught and exhausted as if he hadn’t slept in days. He shook his head before answering. “I know I will never be able to take back the things that I have done to you….” He spoke gently.

She cut her eyes at him. You’re damn right! You can’t undo the past! You can’t erase what you have done!

 Desean continued. “The day you walked away and left with another man, I knew at that moment… you weren’t coming back… I knew for sure that I lost you…” Her chest tightened after Blake’s face unwillingly popping up in her head. She hated thinking about that day… That day changed her life for the worst…

 “Ava, I never knew what it meant to be heartbroken…. Until I lost you… I treated you so bad over the years. You didn’t deserve any of that…”

She winced. Hearing him mention the past was like twisting the knife that was still inside her back. She hadn’t gotten over it yet. She hadn’t gotten over the suffering she had endured.

“I tried to kill myself, Ava…”

Silence.

She gasped. Her loud inhale was the only sound she could hear after they both fell silent. That was the very last thing she expected to hear. Ava stepped back and covered her mouth with her hands. “Oh my God!” She exclaimed.

 Desean sulked, his confession saddening him even more.

“What are you talking about Desean???” she shouted at him. “What do you mean you tried to kill yourself??? Why would you do that to yourself??? Have you lost your mind???? Are you insane???”

Desean cowered back, allowing her to berate him. Ava was now gasping for breath, instantly freaking out on him. She couldn’t believe the words coming out of his mouth.

“Just let me finish please…” Desean continued before she could yell at him some more. “Yes…. I did lose it, Ava… I was drinking really bad after you left. I put a gun to my head and pulled the trigger. The gun jammed.” Her jaw hung wide open as she silently listened to him confess. He finished. “I figured maybe I’d drown myself. I drove all the way to the Pine Grove Bridge with shackles tied to my feet. It wasn’t until I got there and sat on the edge of that ledge that I realized…. Life is worth living… And I knew if I jumped off that bridge and killed myself, I would never see your face again to tell you how sorry I am. I couldn’t go out like that, Ava… and I haven’t picked up a drink since that night…”

“Oh my God…” she spoke into her covered mouth once again. She had instantly became astounded. Typically, Ava knew what to expect from Desean. This was different. This was different than anything she had experienced with him before.

Desean continued. “My father was an alcoholic. My mother was an alcoholic. They both died because of it. On that day Ava, I swore to myself I would not be anything like them. I’ve been seeing a therapist. I even went back to church. I’m getting my life right with God and with myself.”  

Ava listened with open ears. For the first time, she was hearing him in ways she never heard him before. He sounded so damn believable. “Wow…” she murmured, confusingly shaking her head. His confession had become extremely heavy on her heart.  “I don’t understand…I just can’t believe you’ve done a complete 360 in such short amount of time. What do you want from me now???” she threw her hands up in the air as if searching for a clue. “Am I supposed to take you back out of guilt??? I tried. I tried really hard Desean. I’ve given all of my love to you. I’m all ran out. I don’t have any more to give…”  she held out her hands, showing him they were empty. Indeed, she loved him… But he needed to know the truth… she wasn’t in love anymore… She was in love with someone else…

Desean nodded his head. To her surprise, he did not turn combative. “I knew there wasn’t a chance for us. I’m not trying to get you back, Ava. I talked to my pastor last Sunday and he has been helping guide me in the right direction. I’m excited to give my life to God and start going back to church… I’m just missing something very important….” he paused and looked her deep in the eyes. “I am missing your forgiveness…”

She paused and shot him a disoriented look. Ava was taken aback by his response. “My forgiveness???” she repeated him. “That’s it??? All you want is my forgiveness???’”

Surprisingly, Desean smiled warmly. “I’m working on self-acceptance. I’m working on confronting my demons instead of drowning them with alcohol. I love you, Ava but I could not allow my love for you to be the cause of my demise….”

She stared at him with wide eyes, having a difficult time accepting what he was saying. She saw no deception. No anger in his eyes.  He was different. He was softer. Guilt-ridden and conscience. She could see it all over.

Ava took a deep breath. “Wow... If you’re acting as usual, you’re doing a pretty damn good job this time.” Ava insulted him while complimenting him at the same time.

Desean chuckled. He didn’t take offense to her joke. “I was hoping you would say that. Maybe now, you will realize how serious I am…”

Ava grew silent for a moment, her entire life flashing before her eyes. This was really it. The time had finally come. No more arguments. No more pain. No more secrets. And now Desean was focusing on getting himself clean which was everything she hoped and prayed for from the beginning. Slowly, her lips crept into a smile and a warm feeling spread across her chest. She stepped up and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Desean, I have no hate in my heart for you." she finally spoke. "I will always have love for you and wish you nothing but the best in life…. If it is my forgiveness that you seek, then it is yours...." Suddenly, it felt as if a ton of bricks had been lifted off her shoulders. This had been weighing heavy on her for far too long.

Desean’s face immediately lit up. “Thank you so much!” he exclaimed. "You have no idea how much that warms my heart... Now I can close this chapter and finally move on…" He stepped forward and hesitantly held out his arms. "I know this is too much to ask… But can I have a hug??? One last time???" he asked the question as if he were nervous to ask. Ava looked down at his extended arms. For a moment, she contemplated whether or not accepting his advance was a good idea. She held her breath and slowly stepped forward. "I guess..." she answered. Desean smiled, pulled her in and wrapped her up in a hug. Surprisingly, he didn't pull her too close or touch her sexually. He hugged her softly, rubbing her back. "Thanks Ava. Thank you for everything you have taught me...."

Ava smiled with her chin resting on his shoulder. His words meant so much to her. More than he would ever know. He had received his closure. Thankfully, she had gotten hers too

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 26

Chapter 26.

 

2 years later

 

“By the power vested in me by the State of North Carolina, I now pronounce you husband and wife… You may kiss your bride.”

Tears welled up in the corner of Ava’s eyes but she quickly brushed them away before they could ruin her makeup. She smiled through her sniffles while gazing at the reverend who stood at the front of the church. It had been a long, beautiful ceremony. The church was spacious and accommodating to the large amount of guests. Now everything was coming to an end. The deal was being sealed. Ava smiled from ear to ear as she gazed at the most beautiful bride she had ever seen. Her gown flowed down in beautiful waves splashing across her feet. The dress was embroidered with sapphire diamonds and hugged her hips, giving her an elegant and classy look. The bride was also teary eyed as the groom reached forward to remove her vail. Ava sat front and center in the first row. Her heart warmed watching him lean over and indulge his new wife in a sweet, passionate kiss. The church erupted in applause. The reverend lifted his hands in the air to make his final announcement. “I now present to you…. Mr. and Mrs. Lance and Jade Jenkins!!!” He raised both of their hands high in the air introducing them as a married couple for the first time. Ava stood to her feet and clapped with tears rolling down her cheeks. This wasn’t even her wedding and she was crying hysterically.

“Congratulations Lance and Jade!” Ava shouted out to the couple who was waving at the crowd. Ava’s cheek bones were beginning to hurt because she was smiling so hard. She couldn’t believe this day had finally come. Lance had been bragging about marrying her best friend since the day the two hooked up. Finally, he had made good on his word and put a ring on it. Ava stared longingly at the beautiful couple.  They both smiled at each other gazing into each other’s eyes. She had never been so happy for Jade in her life. That woman deserved love, happiness and so much more and also looked stunningly beautiful in her dress. Lance turned out to be the perfect man for her. He was so loving, dedicated and committed to making her happy. Within 2 years, he had built Jade a large beautiful 2 story home from the ground up and also gave her the dream wedding that she had always wanted. Ava chuckled underneath her breath after remembering that could have been her standing up there next to Lance dressed in that beautiful wedding gown. Everything happened for a damn good reason and to Ava’s surprise, it all worked out for the better in the end. She was content with life. Living happily single with no regrets. She smiled and glanced over to the older woman standing next to Lance and Jade. They both requested no grooms or bridesmaids for the ceremony and Ava absolutely respected their decision to stand alone. But the woman standing next to them had a unique exception. She was an elderly woman cradling a small sweet bundle of joy in the center of her arms. Smiling, the woman walked over to Lance and Jade and handed them the infant baby she was holding in her arms. Immediately, Jade smiled and turned around and scooped up the little bundle who was wrapped up in a pink and yellow blanket. She turned back to Lance and together they gazed down, staring as if they were madly in love. Again, tears forced themselves out the corner of her eyes as Ava looked at how happy they were together. Finally, Jade had everything she hoped and prayed for. A man who loves her. A happy marriage. A beautiful home. And a beautiful sweet 2-month old baby girl named Jadalina Hazel Jenkins.  

After a few minutes had gone by, Ava noticed several men swarm the stage to congratulate Lance. He laughed as his boy’s bum rushed to get to him. “Congrats my man!” they all surrounded him, patting him on the back and shaking his hand. Ava stood to her feet, deciding she should get to the bride before she was also surrounded. She hopped up and headed straight towards where Jade was standing.

“Congratulations best friend!” she shrieked upon approaching. “I am so happy for you!” Ava threw her arms around her shoulders, being careful not to trample her because she had the baby in her arms.

Jade chuckled. “Thanks girl. I have never been so happy... So in love…” They both pulled apart and smiled at each other. Ava couldn’t help but stare at how beautiful she was. It was crazy how much things had changed. They had both grown into two different women.

“I didn’t see Desean out there…” Jade looked over her shoulder checking to see if she saw him in the crowd.

Ava laughed and waved her hand. “Yeah, he told me to tell you congrats and that he’s sorry he couldn’t make it.  He had some things to do at the church.”

Jade acceptingly nodded her head while rocking the baby. “It’s okay. How has he been anyways?”

Ava smiled. She happily provided her with an update. “He’s been great actually. We still keep in touch.  He’s the Deacon at the church now and he’s engaged to the reverends daughter, Cecilia. She’s a good woman.”

Jade smirked. Visibly, she was impressed. She nodded her head. “That’s great. I’m glad to hear he has turned his life around.”

Ava smiled. She was happy too. Everything was turning out just the way she had hoped. Her life had changed for the better. Her past didn’t break her. It only prepared her for the future. Defined her for the present. And now, she was at her best. Better than she had ever been.

“Hello, Ava…”

Suddenly, her movements suspended after hearing her name being called over her shoulder. Her smile quickly faded. The sound drowned out from out of her ears and her gut wrenched. Jade glanced over Ava’s shoulder first then rolled her eyes at the person. “Do you want me to have him escorted out of here, Hazel???”

Within a matter of seconds, she was quivering in horror. Ava was too stunned to move, paralyzed by her own fear to turn around. The day was going so well. She should have known it would only be a matter of time… At a leisurely pace, she turned to face the voice slowly.

“Bl---Blakeee---“she stammered his name, staring at him as if she were staring at Casper the ghost. She hadn’t spoken of that name in almost 2 years, completely banning the word from her vocabulary all together.  

“Ava, I’m so glad to see you…” he smiled at her while approaching. Blake stood before her handsomely dressed in an all-black tux and matching black shoes. His low-cut had been neatly trimmed for the occasion. He hadn’t changed a bit. He was still dangerously attractive just the way she remembered. Blake looked her up and down, examining her long gold shimmery gown that she had purchased specifically for the wedding. “You look stunning.” He complimented her. “I was hoping I would be able to speak with you for a moment… alone…”

Ava was still puzzled by his unexpected appearance. She couldn’t speak. She couldn’t move. She couldn’t do anything.

“Ava, please…” he begged her with his eyes after she didn’t respond. “Just 5 minutes of your time is all I ask… I really need you to hear me out…” He seemed desperate as he pleaded. Jade stood next to her staring crazily wandering why she hadn’t said anything yet. She was speechless. She stared at Blake, reminding herself exactly why she avoided him for 2 years. She avoided his areas. Avoided the bars. She avoided the places she knew he hung out. And now, he stood in front of her looking so handsome in his tuxedo. She wanted to rip him apart. But then again, she wanted to run away as far as she could.

“No!” Ava clamped her eyes shut and stepped back after her own thoughts began attacking her. She abruptly turned on her heel and quickly began hurrying towards the door. “I don’t want to talk to you! I don’t want anything else to do you with” she shouted over her shoulder while running down the aisle. Seeing his face was too hard. She didn’t want to be reminded of the past.

 “Ava, wait!” he called out to her. She didn’t wait. Instead, she began dashing down the aisle skipping for the door. Ava had no plans on reminiscing. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not ever. Her mistakes were nothing but a lesson learned and that was the exact way she wanted to leave them.

“Excuse meeeeee…” Ava called out to the crowd of people blocking the door. Sensing she was in a hurry, the small group shot her a crazy look as they stepped to the side. “Appreciate it.” She thanked them for moving out of the way promptly and swung open the door heading outside. Ava wasted no time dashing out the door and making her way outside, feeling as if she were escaping a prison cell. She gasped for air after running out of breath, hiked up her dress than began skipping across the parking lot towards her parked car. Ava did not intend on leaving the wedding so soon. She planned to stick around for the photos and later follow the wedding party to the reception for the after party. Just seeing Blake’s face changed everything.  

“Ava! Please don’t run away!” His sudden voice was closer behind her than she hoped. Ava’s stomach twisted into knots after realizing he had followed her all the way outside. She continued to walk fast but felt like her feet were not moving fast enough. She could see her car in the distance.

“Ava, will you wait a minute????” a hand slipped around her arm and easily pulled her back.

“No! No! No!” she shouted with her eyes shut. She immediately twisted her body to get away, his touch burning her skin.  “Why????” she screamed into the air. “Everything was going so perfect! Why are you here Blake??? Why Why Why????” she was hysterical, shouting the question over and over again. She didn’t want to see him. She didn’t want to remember how much she loved this man. She didn’t want to remember how much he hurt her.

Blake sighed. “Lance is my boy. Why would I not show up to his wedding???”

Ava bent over and took long breaths. She was having a panic attack and it felt as if her chest were close to caving in.

As usual, Blake watched her intensely. “You okay???” he asked, noticing she was winded.

Ava swallowed her shortness of breath then stood up. “What does that matter???” she snapped at him. “It’s been two years! Two years and I haven’t heard from you at all. Why today? Why did you choose today to show up??? At my best friend’s wedding???”

Blake shook his head. “You changed your number, Ava. I couldn’t find you...” He gave a poor excuse.

She glared at him. Ava was unmoved by his poor excuse. “Bullshit!” she cursed on church grounds. “Why didn’t you call Jade??? Her number is still the same, you know???”

Blake shook his head again. Apparently, he tried that too. “It’s not that simple, Ava… Jade hates my guts. She wouldn’t tell me where you were even if I paid her…”

 Ava rolled her eyes. She wasn’t buying it for a second. After all the time that had passed. If Blake really wanted to find her, he could have.

 “So how have you been?” he asked eagerly changing the subject. “Has life been treating you alright??” he asked the question sincerely as if he were truly concerned to know.

 Ava chuckled a nonchalant laugh. She was hoping he would ask that. “I’ve been great!” she answered his question arrogantly while slightly rolling her neck. “I’m opening up my own happy hour bar downtown. My contractors are there renovating the place right now as we speak.”

A surprised look spread across Blake’s face. Clearly, he was shocked by the news. “Wow. Really? That’s amazing.” He complimented her.

She wasn’t finished. “Yep. Lance and Jade helped me get my business license. Those two have really done a lot for me… And I have a new condo.  I’m renting but the owner is considering selling it to me.”

His jaw dropped even wider. Visibly, he was baffled by her success. “Wow, Ava… You have really excelled these last two years, I see…”

She nodded her head hoping her accomplishments was a sucker punch in his gut. Ava wanted nothing more than for Blake to know his deceit did not break her. She actually picked up the pieces of her life, started her own business and made something of herself. Blake smiled at her. “I always knew you had it in you. You are such a smart woman. I am really proud of you, Ava.”

She clenched her jaw and pressed her lips together. Apart of her wanted to ridicule him for everything he had done to her in the past, but she couldn’t find the strength to do it. Ava had let go of that anger a long time ago. “Thanks.” She answered briefly and then turned her back. She continued digging through her purse for her keys. “I have to get going now…I hope you got what you came here for…” she could feel her finger tips brush against her key ring. Thank God she had finally located them.

“Ava, the baby wasn’t mines…”

Silence.

Her heart sunk into her stomach like the titanic hitting the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean. Ava paused and stopped rummaging through her purse. She turned back to look at him, moving in slow motion. “What???” she whispered. “What did you just say???”

He repeated it again. “We did a DNA test at the hospital after Madison gave birth. The baby wasn’t mines...”

Ava gasped and placed her hand on her chest, the horrific memory rushing back. She had tried so hard to forget about the outcome. She tried so hard not to picture it.

"I knew all along..." he continued. "I knew from the beginning I wasn’t the father. Time didn't add up. I freaked out when she told me. I never should have let you walk away without reassuring you."

Her jaw hung wide open. Ava was stunned. “Wha—What???” she stuttered again, immediately turning woozy.

Blake nodded his head. “It’s true...Our divorce was final as of May 1st last year.” He hit her with another surprise. She almost stumbled but quickly held on to her car maintaining her balance. He walked up and placed his body in front of hers as if preparing to catch her if she fell again.

“Ava, I never lied to you... I may not have told you everything, but I didn’t lie...” he looked her deep in the eyes while taking. “I never stopped thinking about you after you left… I tried to tell myself this was for the better and that I was doing the right thing by staying away from you… But I didn’t believe any of it… I knew I was lying to myself… Ava Sweeney, I was still in love with you… and I still am…”

Her knees immediately went weak. “Oh Nooooooo…” she couldn’t help but cry out, officially stumbling over. Blake stepped up and quickly grabbed her before she could fall, wrapping his arms around her tightly. “Noooo Blake…” she cried out and poorly beat at his chest. She didn’t want to be this close to him. She didn’t want to smell that intoxicating scent. He placed his hand against her cheek, her body flinching the more he pressed up on her. He was so close she could now feel his body heat next to hers. It had been so long since he had been this close. Surprisingly, she did not pull away although she could have if she wanted.

“These last two years, I’ve done everything possible to get over you.” Blake stared in her eyes, giving her that same look he used to give her in college as he poured her heart out. That look was irresistible once upon a time. That look still haunted her in her sleep.

“Ava, I tried seeing other women. I tried the dating thing. Excuse my language, but I couldn’t get you off my fucking mind. I couldn’t think about anyone else. Not Madison… Not anyone else…. but you…” He stroked her cheek, her limbs locking by her side as their chests brushed together. For some reason, her mind was telling her to pull away but her body wouldn’t react. Being in his arms felt so familiar.

“You are the woman for me baby. I’d give anything to have you back in my life…. You name it and I will do it…” he slyly slipped his hand down and wrapped his fingers in-between hers. Softly, he began to caress the palm of her hand, doing all the things that pulled her in the first time. He was attempting to woo her. She still had not pulled away. She was intrigued with what he had to say.

“I went to see Susan…” Blake hit her with another curveball.

Ava yanked back and immediately perked up hearing him mention a name that she hadn’t heard in a while, making the hairs stand up on the back of her neck. “Really???” she asked, silently floored. “You went to see Susan???”

He smiled, noticing she was breath taken and nodded his head. “She’s a great woman. I see her at least twice a month now... She said she’s upset she never got to see you again. You never came back for a second appointment. She really thought she could help you.”

Ava was voiceless. She couldn’t believe Blake actually kept his word and went to see her nor could she believe Susan actually remembered who she was. Shamefully she dropped her head, wandering how different her life could have been if she had received some sort of direction from her. She was so misguided back then. She wasn’t ready to give Susan a chance. But she was glad that Blake did.

“She’s brought a whole new meaning to my life, Ava.” He spoke excitedly while referring to Susan. “You did the right thing introducing me to her. I owe my life to you. You saved me… And I’m glad to say I have officially been drug free for 744 days.”

Ava was staggered. “Oh my God!” she exclaimed in excitement. Immediately, she began jumping up and down for joy. “Really? You’re clean???!!! That’s amazing Blake!” for the first time since seeing him, she smiled excitedly and clapped her hands together. Hearing that he turned his life around brought so much joy to her heart.

Blake laughed. “I’m glad your excited.” He wasn’t finished. Blake stroked her hand again, which immediately brought her back to her senses and calmed her down. She stopped jumping around and nervously tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. She was embarrassed that she had become too eager upon hearing his news. “Sorry…That’s great. I’m really happy for you.” She spoke more calmly and relaxed this time.

Blake smiled. He warmly continued pouring his heart out to hear. “I’m happy too… And it’s all thanks to you…” he brushed his finger against her cheek again. “Babe, you are like my rib. I can’t survive with you… The only way to complete this puzzle in my life was to find my missing piece.” he leaned in and quietly whispered into her ear underneath his breath.  “You are my missing piece. Now that I have found you, I can’t let you go without fighting for you… I’m never walking away from you again. That was the biggest mistake I ever made… I can’t make that mistake twice…”

She shuddered. He was going deep. Saying all the right things. All the things that she desperately needed to hear two years ago. Blake had shattered her. Broken her to pieces and surprisingly he was the only one in this world who could fix her.  But he didn’t. Instead, he walked away. He ran like a coward. And now, too much time had passed. Too many tears had fallen and his words didn’t hold the same value that they would have held back then. She guiltily looked away, feeling sick and tired of falling victim to her own emotions. Ava had pushed all memories of Blake far into the back of her mind a long time ago. Now everything was resurfacing like swallowed vomit and she couldn’t understand why. He’s hurt me so bad! He’s done so much in such little time! How do I forgive him? Why haven’t I let this go?? Why do I look into his eyes and still feel something??? Why???? Why???? Why????

 “I can’t do this…” her voice was shaky. She reached up and removed his hand from her cheek. “This is too much, Blake. I can’t handle this type of pressure! If you loved me, you would have never walked out on me! You would have stuck by my side! You would have------“

He interrupted her in mid-sentence and pulled her back in. Within seconds Blake firmly pressed his lips into hers, cutting her off with a sensational, captivating kiss before she could say another word. His sudden embrace was unexpected. Her eyes grew wider and her panties grew moist in the midst of his kiss. She clamped her legs shut as he kissed her passionately, holding her face and massaging her lips with his. Ava’s arm hung dryly by her side as his tongue danced around hers. Stupidly, she allowed him to kiss her with an open mouth She hadn’t tasted his lips in so long. They were still soft. His kisses were still slow and passionate. He pulled away and took two steps back. Within a matter of seconds, she had taken a scroll down memory lane. Just tasting his lips reminded her of how happy she was with him once upon a time. She remembered how much he drove her insides crazy each time he touched at her… Ava was shaking now.

“I’m sorry…” he apologized. “I don’t mean to over step my boundaries, but I had to. I missed the taste of your lips so much.”

Ava pushed back on his chest and backed away staring at him as if he had lost his mind. She shuddered. Her entire body was now frail and weak. " Why would you do that??? Are you insane??? " she shouted at him.

Calmly, Blake shook his head. He was such an even-tempered man. So tranquil. As if nothing bothered him at all. Against her will, flashbacks began to appear inside her mind. Flashbacks of that horrid day. Flashbacks of Madison. She could still remember the look on his face when he opened that door. That moment he saw her face standing on the doorstep. Ava had never seen so much horror in his expression. That day, he wasn’t the peaceful, untroubled man that she had once fallen for. He was a different person and she couldn’t shake that image out of her had no matter how hard she tried. She had been scarred too deeply. Ava continued staring at him with a deranged look on his face. She couldn't believe he had the audacity to kiss her. Then again, she couldn’t believe her body had the audacity to react to it. Her lips still tingled where he kissed her. Her pussy was dripping wet underneath her clothes. After all the time that passed, she couldn’t believe Blake’s touch still had the same effect on her. After everything he had done to her. After everything she had been through. She took a deep breath, ignoring the advance he just made while calming herself before speaking. “I am a different woman now…” her voice was low, swallowing her weaknesses as she finally said something.

Blake nodded his head, preparing himself for her rebuttal. “Yes, I know you are… I can see it… But-----“

She quickly held her hand up shushing him, adamant on finishing before he regained control. She could not let him have the upper hand anymore. “I get it, Blake… I understand why you left… And as much as I hated you for it back then, I just want to tell you now… I’m happy you did what you did… Losing you was the best thing that ever happened to me… Thank you….”

Instantly Blake frowned, his jaw dropping in anstoundment. She had thrown him for a loop. “Thankyou???” he repeated her confusingly.

She nodded her head and forced herself to smile although she felt extremely weak in her heart. She had been afraid to do this for so long. As difficult as it was, she had too. Ava had received closure from all of her deceivers except one. There was only one page left to read before finally closing this chapter and putting this book on the shelf. Finally, she was letting go of what she had been holding onto for so long. She walked close to him. His stature was slightly uneasy now as she spoke. She sighed then looked up at him. “Blake…. when I fell for you, I fell hard… I loved you so much and I was really heartbroken after we broke up…. I didn’t know how I was going to make it. I didn’t know how I would survive without you. But I did...”

He looked in the opposite direction. Her words were beginning to get to him. But it didn’t stop her. She finished before she could choke on her words again.

 “If you never left, I never would have known what it felt like to finally heal myself without depending on a man to fix me. I never would have started my own business. I never would have discovered self-dependence.” She reached down and grabbed his hand. Blake accepted with his shoulders slumped. He looked defeated as if reading her mind. He knew exactly where this was going. She continued.

 “I’d be lying if I said things were all bad. They weren’t… You were special to me… You were like a breath of fresh air. You came to me at a very damaged time in my life and you taught me how to let my guard down… You taught me how to love… And most importantly Blake…” she squeezed his hand tighter. “You also taught me how to let go….” To prove her point, she let his hand go. Ava took two steps back and examined him. A look of sadness had spread across his face.

“Damn…” He cursed underneath his breath. He was in disbelief. There was no reversing the irreversible. Ava couldn’t take it. Seeing the pained look on his face hurt her badly even though she pretended it didn’t. She had a soft spot for him that refused to subside. They stared at each other silently for what could be the last time. Ava’s heart fluttered just thinking about all the good times they shared over the last 13 years. There was so many mixed emotions floating around. I want to walk away… But I love him… I need to leave this in the past… But I love him… After all we could just be friends… But I still love him…

“I’m still in love with you...” Ava admitted to him.

Blake shot his head up, a twinkle of hope showing up in his eyes. “You are?” he asked

 She sighed and nodded her head, shamefully being honest. “Yes.” She answered. “It may take a while for me to get over this fully. But I will…. I’m happy with life right now. I don’t want to do anything to mess that up. If you are truly meant to be in my future, God will show me the way…”

Blake’s expression saddened once again. She could tell his mind was registering the fact that they were really over. “So this is what you want???” he asked in a disappointed tone.

She nodded her head in response.

Blake nodded his head calmly and respectfully. “Okay…” he answered. “If this is what you want, Ava… I’ll let you go… It hurts bad, but it’s the right thing to do…”

Unknowingly, her heart weakened even more and tears brimmed in the corner of her eyes. He was letting her go. Seeing him so hurt about it killed her on the inside. She never wanted to hurt him. She wanted to do the exact opposite. She wanted to love him.

Ava quickly sniffled away her tears after suddenly realizing this was all for the best. After today there would be no more wondering. No more what if’s.  No more heartbreak.

“Well, I got to get going now…” she couldn’t take seeing his saddened face any longer. It hurt too much. She threw her hand up and began to wave goodbye. “Thank you for listening and thank you for understanding.” Once again, she turned to leave abruptly.

 He spoke to her with her back turned. “You take care of yourself, Ava… I love you…”

She halted in place, the word love slipping past his lips sending shivers down her spine. He said it so casually. She glanced over her shoulder to look at him one last time. He stared back in silence examining her as if he were taking a mental picture. For the life of her, Ava couldn’t figure out why he was so damn attractive, making it extremely difficult to walk away. For 2 years she attempted to come up with the right words to finally say goodbye to him. And now that the deed had been done, she still felt empty inside. As if something were missing. Ava retrieved her keys from her purse and clicked the lock to her Toyota. It was best to get far away before she began second guessing.  She began to move fast, hurrying before he stopped her or she stopped herself.

“Ava….” He called out to her one last time.

Aggressively, she twisted her body around to him. “Whattt???” she shouted loudly. “What now??? Haven’t you already said enough??? Just let me leave! Please!” she instantly turned frantic, her hesitance to leave driving her mentally insane. She hated being vulnerable. She hated resisting.

Blake was calm again. He took two steps back and spoke while backing away. “I just wanted you to know…. I’m letting you walk away now because this is want you want. I respect your space. But this is not the end…This is not over….”

She froze still and her body stiffened. Ava’s heart instantly began beating rapidly. “What does that mean???” she asked, repeating him silently inside her head.  I respect your space. But this is not the end…This is not over…. She looked at him nervously.

Blake smiled one last time and backed away even further. “I told you I would always be in your corner… I meant that… God is going to bring you back to me… I just know it… Only time will tell…” He spoke confidently. As if he had a crystal ball and was looking right into the future. As usual, Ava was at a loss for words.

 “Drive safely, Ava…. I love you” He told her once again. She watched him turn on his heel and began walking in the opposite direction heading back to the church. She stood staring at him walk away. The further he got, the more confused she became. Should I chase after him? Should I ask him to explain what he just said? Ava knew damn well she didn’t need an explanation. Everything made so much sense. Slowly, still in a daze she turned back to her car, swung open the door and slid into the driver’s seat. Shutting the door behind her, she looked into the rearview mirror and continued watching Blake walk away. Disappearing out of her life. For some reason, she couldn’t take her eyes off him. She didn’t know if this would be the last time they saw each other. Then, his voice replayed itself inside her head once again. God is going to bring you back to me… Only time will tell…

She watched Blake walk up the steps to the church, open the double doors and disappear inside. He was gone. She let out the breath she had been holding in as soon as he was out of eyesight. There was no need to continue looking back. No more rearview mirrors. No more second guessing. Ava cranked up the ignition and silently began to quote one of her favorite poems. She closed her eyes as she chanted. “Unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward. ... Sometimes letting go is an act of far greater power than hanging on.” She opened her eyes after citing the words that she had grown to know very well. “Thanks Susan” she smiled and thanked her out loud. “Thank you or helping him… Thank you saving the love of my life…”

Almost immediately, Ava felt a boost of rejuvenation fill her body. She now felt a confidence that she hadn’t felt in a long time. Her lips slowly curved into a smile. She looked into the mirror, this time speaking to herself. “If it’s meant to be, God will bring him back to me…” She winked at herself. No more looking back… She had finally decided to stop looking for happiness in the same place she lost it. It was time to discover herself. Time to focus on herself.

“It’s over for now… But it’s not over for good….”

Content. Satisfied. Happy. Finally, Ava had what she had been hoping for all along.

 

THE END

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Tag der Veröffentlichung: 04.04.2018

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