Forward

    The Sound of a siren was heard a few blocks away, at that moment my skin crawled and I flinched as if I had heard a gunshot going off right behind me. I actually became jumpy to say the least as I would go out and check the front door and look down the street.

     The phone rings and a sense of uneasiness permeate my entire being. A near dread feeling consumes me before I get to answer the call. Is this the call my mind races?

     When its time to leave the house, I have an uneasy fear of what will be here when I return? Or worse what won’t be here? The sense of Impending disaster not only surrounds my world it consumes my being as it seeps into every aspect of my life. As if I were walking on a floor made of eggshells. I walk through each day. With every next thing increases the uncertainty level within my own life. I ask myself at what point did I loose control? How did I get here? Where am I?

Or that one ever-present question – How do I get out of this position?
These are all questions only a parent of a teenager who has become a “train wreck” so to say, after that teen storms out or “runs away” after yet another encounter or “Blow up”.

I found myself asking How do I survive my teenager? How Does anyone? After asking this of myself and studying several sources along with trying everything one can think of I decided to share about some of the solutions I have found. With simple hopes that what learned may benefit you or others who face similar challenges.

I'm Not that Kind of Parent

      Welcome to the inner feelings of my world each day as I struggled to raise a wild out of control teen. These feelings are only familiar to you if you have found yourself within the grip of an out of control teen, which perhaps has slipped into a drug addiction or gang affiliation or self destructive behavior of some other type.

      Your mind races –could I have done better? Should I have made some decisions differently? In the end even the best-intentioned parent can have made every effort to guide your teen into adulthood and made the right decisions - yet somehow every now and then this happens in spite of all of our efforts. In this book we attempt to recognize some of the leading issues that occur that lead our teenagers into the runaway train mode.

      As Parents we have never been given “the book” on how to raise our children let alone how to actually deal with a pre teen or teenager who has made choices that baffle us.
For generations there have been books guiding us along the lines of how to raise your baby what to feed them and how to identify health issues when they arise.

In my generation each new parent was advised to get the DR Spock book about raising babies. This was a great asset up until the second year of life and then- you’re on your own. Raising children in today’s world is a vast difference from the days we were raised. Technology is rapidly changing and making communications easier yet some of the core values we were taught are being challenged daily.

      As parents we were only equipped with the things that our parents did or tried as we were growing up, if we where really observant we would notice some of what the parents of our friends did – that is the extent of our training. The rest was learning on the fly. Sometimes all of our non-existent training causes us to try things we hope may work.

      Most of us were fast to decide thing’s that we did not want to do- it’s our nature to take note of the bad things we experienced and make the internal pledge not to be “that type” of a parent. Even if this was an attempt to break the cycle from what we endured we have removed part of the limited education that was handed to us. Good or bad it all played a part in raising us to where we are today.

Others of us had no formal raising we where abandoned or set forth upon the world without the benefit of an emotional base from our parents. While more of us lived through the “Broken Home” where one of our parents was not there and we sought our guidance through an outside source or even from our own peers. Not every parent is equipped to handle the situations that occur in raising children. Sometimes we simply block out the negative experiences of our own past and fill our world with the current life, while that may work for you I have learned that to institute a change in my life I need to take a look at my own part of any given circumstance. Then when I see my part I can address any changes that need to be made. I let you know that while we are responsible for our youth, we are unable to force them to change unless they want to.


      After seeking out solutions for my personal “teen crisis” I realized there was not much available out there that was based upon experience, yes there are a lot of theory’s based upon education yet their credibility is lost to me when I find out that the source has not had children nor raised any.

If you are like I am this statement will ring true in your head. “yes but how many kids did you raise?” The answer often times shocks us when they respond – I don’t have any. It’s at that point I figure out that their “theory’s may be worthy of a try but there is no basis other than statistical data and thoughts. In a clinical trial these theories may have excelled, yet what about in my living room? That seems to be the real challenge.

Behind the Curtain

      As a parent of three and each of those three are grown adults at this time. All of these adults are balanced and responsible persons whom are in a loving and kind relationship.

Along the way while raising these three I have been the “father figure” for 14 other children who for one reason or another found themselves within our household and their father was not an active part of their life. I am Papa Mike or Pops or Dad to those fine people.

I have raised seventeen teenagers to adulthood – Why did I think that I should step in and attempt to offer them guidance is a question that is answered with one word. HOPE.
Hope that my intervention can save them the trials and tribulation that I endured as an early adult. Perhaps

Impressum

Verlag: BookRix GmbH & Co. KG

Texte: Michael Leahy
Lektorat: Michael Leahy
Tag der Veröffentlichung: 24.12.2012
ISBN: 978-3-7309-0365-0

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Widmung:
To all My Kids, I'm proud of you all.