Chapter 1

He sat across the room and watched her petite body and thick black hair slumped over her desk. Peacefully wrapped in her dreams, she would periodically jerk, waking herself up. She raised her head off the desk and surveyed the room to see if anyone had noticed. Seeing no one paying attention, she took her hand and wiped the drool from her face and off the desk. Drying her hand on her faded jeans, she placed her elbow on the desk and propped her head up with her hand.


The teacher, Mr. Lancaster, in all his knowledge and self absorbed rhetoric, kept writing gibberish math figures on the board as the squeaking dry erase markers began to infuriate Meli to the point of wanting to just walk out and never return.


He kept writing, mumbling, and even laughing at his own genius. “There! See that wasn't hard.” The teacher looked around the room and noticed that most of the class of 80 was either asleep or playing paper football. “Guys! Come on, at least wait until I'm done with the lecture.” He capped the marker and then threw it into the crowded students, hitting Merlin who wasn't asleep, but busy sketching a picture of the girl who slept across the room.


“Do you mind tossing that back now that I have your attention?” Mr. Lancaster knew what a drag math could be, so he tried to entertain as much as possible. With the finals and summer vacation right around the corner, he knew that it would be hard pressed to teach them anything.


Merlin smiled at the teacher and tossed the marker back to him. He glanced over to get another look at the sleeping beauty, but to his dismay, he caught the backside of her walking out the door. She has been here for 3 weeks and he knew how hard it was transitioning from another school. He too had come from another school, but it was at the beginning of the year, not the end.


He quickly gathered his books and headed toward the door as the professor just looked at him in amazement. “Really?” Mr. Lancaster said as he squinted his eyes and raised the palms of his hands toward the ceiling.


“Sorry, but I have to...you know...go?”


“Fine, but you do know what you're getting into, right?” Mr. Lancaster raised his eyebrow as to hint of her reputation.


“I've gotta go!”


Mr. Lancaster enjoyed having Merlin in his class. Not the most dedicated student, but definitely one of his best. He smiled as he watched Merlin jog toward the door, struggling to carry his books and shoving a pencil between his teeth as he reached for the door handle.


“Later, Mr. L!” he yelled as he darted out the door.


*


Meli faced her open locker and shuffled through books and binders. Trying to find a way to keep her messy locker from spilling out onto the floor, she could hear the sound of running feet coming from down the hallway. Holding the wretched mess in the locker with one hand, she quickly slammed the door shut as she removed her hand from the carnage. Turning to see who it was that was running, she noticed the guy that sat across their classroom.


“Hey! Meli?” he said as he came to a stop and panted to catch his breath.


“What do you want?” she said as she crossed her arms across her chest and pushed her hip to one side.


“Sorry, but I think you dropped this.” Holding out a half chewed pencil that he knew wasn't hers, he smiled and tried to put on his friendly face. Glaring at him through her hair, that seemed to cover the best features of her face, she tilted her head back and blew her hair to the side.


“I dropped that?” she asked as she pointed to the mangled chewed pencil with the look of skepticism in her eyes.


“Uh...yeah?” he said as he raised one eyebrow and smiled, trying to ease the tension.


“That chew toy has your name on it.” she said with a snarl.

"What? Where?" he asked as he ignorantly searched the pencil.

"There. See? M-E-R-L-I-N that's your name, right?" She stood there and glared at him.

"I guess...that could...possibly be..." he stuttered while examining the pencil.

"Yeah...that's what I thought." she said as she rolled her big brown eyes.


“Well, do you want it? You can have it if you want it.” He stood there holding this pencil out to her with one hand and with the other tried to keep his books from sliding down his stomach and spilling onto the floor.


Looking at him with her skeptical eyes squinted, she blurted out, “You're an idiot.”


Standing there, with his pencil extended and holding his books to his hip with a binder trapped between his legs, he watched her walk away and loved every minute. He didn't know what it was about her, but he really liked her. While walking away, she lifted up her hand to show him her middle finger and how she really felt when the bell rang and students poured into the hallway. Their voices filling the air, he stood there smiling as if he had some sort of heroic breakthrough with the mysterious girl he drew a hundred times in his notebook.


He stood about 5 ft 8 inches tall. He was only about 150 lbs soak and wet, but planned on changing that this summer. He was going to hit the gym hard...of course, he promised himself that every summer. His shaggy black curly hair was thick and sometime hid his eyes from the rest of the world. Dressed in a plain white t'shirt, faded boot cut jeans, and black Chuck Taylor shoes with the white toe, he found himself somewhat smitten by her mystic rebellious attitude...and he liked it.


“So....” he tried to yell over the crowded student body “...I take it you don't want your pencil?”


Chapter 2

Was that shaggy haired moron seriously trying to come on to her with a chewed pencil? Meli smiled at the thought as she walked home. She was not about to admit it to herself, but deep down inside she found what he had done was kind of cute. However, she would deny it over and over if she had to. She knew her sister would have a hoot if she told her the tale about Merlin, the guy who tried to woo her with a chewed pencil. “Nelly,” she said out-loud unconsciously.


Her sister, Nelly, was the reason she decided to ditch the last class. Apart from the fact that she hated math and Mr. Lancaster was kind of insane in her eyes, she had gotten little to no sleep the night before. It had been a month since they had moved into this new town. Due to her father’s job, moving has become a common occurrence. She hated it. The school, the people, and most of all she hated that she was now farther away from her sister.


The buzz from her cell phone made her jump. Her eyes gazed quickly at the new message and she became very worried. She received the first message while in class, just before she decided to leave. “You need to come quick, Nelly is having a fit and she might be getting herself into some trouble :( “

As she reached her cookie cutter two-story house, she noticed her mother and father’s Mercedes parked outside. In a sense, it was both good and bad.

“What in the world are you doing here?” her mother questioned her as she was fixing her green silk scarf, looking like she was about to head out.

Her father was still in his suit and had his suitcase resting on the kitchen counter. She could not look more out of place within the household. Her parents were so different from her. The second question as expected came from her father, “Aren’t you supposed to be in school? You had another hour left until I went and picked you up.”

It was embarrassing enough that they had drop her off and pick her up, but they went overboard when they requested the Dean to have her day-to-day schedule. It's not like she was some little kid that needed a babysitter.

“I-” Meli began, but as always, they did not even let her speak until everything had been said on their part.

“We had a deal, Meli! This was your last chance! You have already been kicked out of every single school possible. You cannot continue to do as you please!” He reprimanded her, his hands flying everywhere in his usual dramatic way.

Her mother simply rubbed her temple as if she was trying to avoid yet another dreadful headache. “Seriously, Meli. You cannot continue to grieve us with such trivial problems.” She sighed and reached for her purse. Her hand blindly searched until she pulled out a small orange bottle that held her beloved prescribed pills.

Meli just shook her head. While her father escaped with alcohol every night, her mother found comfort in her pills. They had always tried to play the perfect family. The family without any problems. The farther they were from their problems the better. But, she was not about to run away from Nelly like her parents did. “It’s about Nelly! She might be in trouble...”

This caught both her parents off guard. Her mother had a quizzical look about her. “How could you even possibly know that she is in trouble?”

Her father interjected, “Don’t tell me this is about the ‘twin psychic’ bullshit you tried to pulled off last time.”

Meli rolled her big brown eyes. Sure she had lied about her being able to read her sister’s mind, but it was the extremes that she had to go to in order to grab anyone’s attention. “No! Lacy, the girl who works there...she sent me a text saying she’s really upset. She might really be in trouble this time. Can we please go see her?” She hated asking her parents for favors but she had no choice.

There was a pause and the silence in the room was so palpable, it became uncomfortable for all the parties involved. Her mother looked at her husband, afraid to say the wrong thing, though something about her said that she also was concerned about her daughter.

“No! Out of the question!”

“But, dad!” Meli pleaded, her eyes filled with anger. She turned to her mother for support, but she too gave her a look of defeat and just turned away from her daughter. “Unbelievable! You bring me into this God forsaken hick town just so we can act like Nelly doesn’t exist! She is still your daughter! She's not just some-” A loud sound of flesh meeting flesh filled the room. Her father’s hand was still in the air and his face showed no remorse. Meli held back her tears, she was not about to cry in front of them. She stormed passed her mother who was holding her hands to her lips in disbelief, but as always did nothing. It was just easier for her not to go against her husband and be the model wife she was molded to be.

“Where the hell do you think you’re going?” He screamed out, to his response, the front door slammed harshly.

The brown-eyed girl was not estranged to her father’s violent antics, especially when they disagreed on so many levels. She didn’t hate her parents, yet she found it hard to love them. Everything had gotten worse after Nelly was diagnosed with Schizophrenia and was in and out of mental hospitals. Her situation seemed to worsen when she was out of the institutions and the anti-psychotics were no longer helping. Her father decided the best thing for 'her' was for her to be committed indefinitely. In reality, it was just a way for them not deal with her anymore, at least that's how it seemed.

Meli stared at her black combat boots and her pink and black plaid skirt. She had always had a weird sense of style and her thinking was just as strange. She often wondered why her parents had never committed her. There was a difference between her and Nelly. Meli did not hear the voices like Nelly did. It wasn’t fair. They were identical twins, so why couldn’t they be the same in every way? Why couldn’t they be together?

She pulled out her cell phone from her punk'ed out purse and re-read the last message:

Lacy: You have to get here or they’ll put her in the Hole!

The Hole. The place for misbehaving patients. The place that was kept private from family members or authorities. When she told her parents about this, they told her to keep her conspiracy theories to herself. Just like with everything else that came out of her mouth, it was dismissed. This is why she just didn’t bother trying with adults or anyone for that matter. She figured people were always wanting to believe what they wanted to believe. Anything strange and unknown was just out of the question.

She placed her hand in the pocket of her skirt and pulled out a twenty-dollar bill. That is all she had with her at the moment and there was no way she was going to get a cab to see her sister with only a twenty-dollar bill. She cursed under her breath and decided she had no choice but to call someone who lived only an hour away.

With a bit of hesitation, she dialed the number. She thought about what she was going to say. With the phone nestled between her ear and shoulder, he picked up.

“Jason?” She waited for his reply.

“What do you want now? I’m not getting back with you this time,” he said in his British accent.

Meli winced at his antipathetic response. “I’m not calling to get back with you moron!”

“Lovely to hear your voice too, darling...” he scoffed.

“You started it...”

“As I always,” he quickly retorted.

Pulling the phone away from her ear, she glared at it as if he would be able to see her at that moment. Stopping for a moment, she took a breath and reminded herself that she needed his help. They had been on and off for years, but it was her fault they were no longer together. It was her fault that she had no friends left at all. She pushed everyone away, anyone who cared.

“I need you to pick me up,” she spoke in a low voice, “you’re the only one I can rely on.”

A soft sigh was heard from the other side, “I can’t drop everything I’m doing for you love. Not anymore...”

“I really need your help now,” she mustered up the word ‘help’ from the lowest part of her being. Feeling helpless and asking for help was never one of her best attributes. “Don’t make me say please,” she inadvertently pleaded. Her way of asking without really asking.

“I still love you, but I can’t this time, Meli...”

Hearing the sudden click and then the dead tone she knew he had hung up. She kicked a rock that was laying near her foot. “That freaking -- ugh! I’ll just have to deal with this on my own.” And that is what she did. She had done it before and even though her sister was now two hours away, she figured she could catch a bus that would get her as close as possible to the asylum where her sister was kept. She would just have to walk from there. She didn't care what she had to do, she was going to make it no matter what. She began walking to the nearest bus stop.


Chapter 3

“Honey, who is that? She is so cute! Is she one of your new little cartoon characters?” His mom looked over his shoulder as she began to rub his head and murmured words that only a baby could understand. It was often like this at his house. She might as well have been scratching behind his ear while puckering her lips saying “Who's a good boy? Huh, who's a good boy? That's right, you! Now sit! Roll over! Good boy!”

He just smiled and kept drawing. He thought about telling her that he wasn't a little kid anymore, but what would it really accomplish? His dad was just a framed picture that collected dust next to the triangle folded flag and his older brother's belongs still packed in boxes and hasn't been touched since his tragic motorcycle accident. He never really knew either one of them, but he thought today would have been a great day to have them there. He had tons questions that no mom should have to answer. Besides, she's not a girl, she was his mom. What could she really know anyway?

“Honey, can you put that away for now? I need your help with dinner.” She asked for his help every night. He didn't have the courage to tell her that the TV dinners didn't need to be plated, they already come plated in little black plastic trays. He graciously grabbed two plates from the cabinet and set them on the table. She would always sit in the same place and he sat to her right. This made the prayer and hand holding a little easier.

He often occupied his time with headphones and sketching. He didn't have a lot of friends, but he was one of the friendliest kids in school. At his last school, he spent almost all of his time at the park skating and hanging out with his group of misfits, but since moving, he found it easier for his mother if he just stayed home to be her little boy.

It used to not be so obvious. But lately, his mother has been crying a lot more. He would put his ear up to his mothers door as she would bury her face in her hands and cry uncontrollably. He wanted to find friends. He wanted to be popular. It was just so hard for him to be anything other than her quiet little boy.

He walked up the stairs and sat on his bed. Grabbing his headphones, he pushed his shaggy hair back behind his ears and grabbed his pencil. Thinking about this mysterious girl, he began to move the charcoal lead across the paper as a smile began to form. The way her hair gracefully hid her eyes and the way she tilted her head as she spoke to him, did something to his heart to make it beat faster. Sometimes, she even made his heart stop. Not really knowing anything about her, he could draw her from memory.

Sitting there on his bed with his headphones covering his ears, pushing the sound of silence, he penciled different pictures Meli for what seemed to be hours. He had tried to talk to her. He actually pulled his fear from his stomach and ran to her. Maybe his approach was a little barbaric and immature, but there really wasn't anything else that he thought of that could give him an excuse to be rejected. He thought that the chewed pencil routine would have at least put a smile on her face, but all it really accomplished was a good picture of her walking away with a middle finger staring back at him. He smiled as he drew that picture a hundred times.

His mother, peeked into his room to find him sitting on his bed, leaning up against the head board, drawing this girl over and over again. Deep down inside, she knew something was on his mind and being a woman, she knew exactly what it was. This was his dad's expertise. She was suppose to be clueless. She knew that he would never be able to talk to his father and she knew that he was going through a tough time at school. She just really hoped that he would talk to her.

“She's really beautiful.” she smiled as she watched him sketch. She looked at him sitting there in deep concentration. The way he stuck his tongue out of his lips and hunched over the paper, reminded her of her late husband, his father. Realizing that his headphones were probably blaring distorted guitars, fast drums, and some guy screaming his emotions out for the world to hear, she continued to say the things that she needed to. “I'm sorry, Merlin. I know you can't hear me, but I'm sorry. I wish that I had the answers. I wish you would talk to me. I wish I could talk to you and tell you how amazing you are. Your father would be so proud of you, but when I think about him, all I can do is cry. You don't need to parent me, it's my job to take care of you. I just don't know how to do it right now.” She quietly pulled the door shut and headed down the stairs.

Merlin sat there, holding back tears. He heard what his mother had said and he wished that she would just talk to him. He needed her to care about him, just once. Not his dad or his brother, he wanted her to come to him and ask him about this girl. It's not just a little cartoon character, it was Meli.


*

He arrived to school earlier than usual. He skated away from his house a full hour early. He wanted to be the first person there, so he knew that he wouldn't miss her arrival. Sitting on the bench in front of the school with his feet resting on his skateboard, he eyeballed every car passing, hoping that it would be Meli.

He had a new plan. This one was sure to work. This plan was fool proof and guaranteed to get a smile. If only she would hurry up and get there. Sitting there with his headphones blaring silence, his head and eyes would follow the cars and every time he thought it was hers, his heart would stop and his stomach would fill with boyish anxiety.

As the dim morning sky started to brighten up, he saw a silver Mercedes slowly pull into the parking lot. As the shiny car with tinted windows stopped in front of the flag pole, he saw her step out of the car. He could hear a loud voice yelling, but he didn't know if it was the radio or maybe her father. While the voice just kept yelling she closed the door and the yelling went quiet. She looked unfazed by the voice, so he figured it was just something on the radio. There is no way that this sweet girl would just shut the door on her father. She's so sweet and innocent!

His heart pounding, he stood up and grabbed his board and started to timidly walk toward her. Dressed in her usual black, she had her binder pulled closely to her chest. She kept her head down as she slowly made her way up the sidewalk toward the front door of the school. Her beautiful hair, hiding her face from the world, was so perfect. With her arms crossed over her chest and binder, she gracefully made her way closer to him. Looking up with a smile, she gave a polite wave in his direction. Shocked, he lifted his hand in recognition and smiled so big that his teeth gleamed in the morning sun.

As he approached her, his plan was now in motion. Stopping just a couple of feet in front of her, he started to speak. Nothing. “Uh....uh...” There were no words. She didn't even look at him. She walked by him like he didn't exist. As he turned around, he watched her again walk away with nothing but her middle finger displayed just for him. She then politely waved her hand again, but it was to some girl. Realizing that the first wave and smile that he had received from Meli wasn't even meant for him, he smiled in embarrassment. The smile quickly deflated when he realized that Meli was going to be harder than he originally thought.

Standing there pondering his next plan of attack, the bell began to ring. Putting his board under his arm, he walked toward the school ready to embrace the result of his third tardy. For three days, he sat in front of the school waiting for this moment. And for what? A middle finger and three unexcused tardies?

It's time to get serious. His mind running the checklist of things not to do, he noted that chewed pencils, polite waves, boyish smiles, and stuttering was not going to get this job done. “Time to step up the game.” he said quietly to himself. He then reached up and opened the door.

“Mr. Merlin!” he heard a voice yell from down the hall. “I see you are late, again. If I'm not mistaken, this may be #3 in just as many days.”

“Mr. L?” Merlin dropped and shook his head in disgust. Without looking up toward Mr. Lancaster, Merlin stuck his hand out to receive another tardy slip. To his surprise, there was no tardy slip. Mr. Lancaster slapped his hand as if there were pals and informed Merlin of a favor that he wanted him to do.

Mr. Lancaster opened the office door and asked Merlin to join him. As they entered the office, Meli was shamefully sitting in a chair drawing on her arm with an ink pen. “Merlin, you remember Meli? Well, her parents have brought it to our attention that she is in need of a little math help. Seeing how you are the only one in class who doesn't do any homework, but yet aces every test, I figured that both of you could probably use a little help. Hopefully, the two of you can work together and help each other out? With the finals coming around the corner, who knows, right? What do you say?”

Glancing over at her, Merlin smiled. She looks at his ridiculous smile and then squinted her eyes and gave a sarcastic smile back to him. She then rolled her eyes and leaned her head back against the wall, as if this was her nightmare.





Chapter 4

Mr. Lancaster couldn’t be that serious. Was he actually trying to pair her up with ‘him’? Wasn’t it enough that her father was in control of almost every aspect of her life? Now, he wanted to involve the senile math teacher and the chewed-pencil stalker. Who do they think they are? Seriously?

Things were not going her way; that much was obvious. Frustration was the first word that came to her mind; annoyance was the second. Come to think of it they’re both the same.

*I need to pay more attention in English class. Being a teenager utterly sucks.*

Doctor Isaac Watamaniuk had always advised her to mentally describe what she was feeling with just a single word. Needless to say, maybe ‘Dr. Maniac’ was actually onto something. Meli lacked expressing her feelings at times and sarcasm was the only expression she was comfortable with. The first time she met this psychologist was the first time that she had gone alone. No sister; just alone without her Nelly. They were inseparable, even during all the other therapy sessions.

When they figured that Nelly was schizophrenic, her parents had her committed. Meli was then referred to Dr. Watamaniuk. Since she was thirteen, he worked hard. He spent countless hours trying to get past her emotional wall, past the barrier that she hid behind for protection.

The first thing she ever asked him: “A person with your last name should not be treating anyone. Do you live up to your name?”

He felt alienated to the question and was quite unsure how to answer. “Live up to my name? What do you mean by that?”

She hated it when these nerdy sweater-vest wearing jerks would answer questions with more questions. Sitting there with her arms folded acrossed her stomach, she tilted her head back, “Did your parents really name you that?” She answered with another question.

He lifted his eyebrow nonchalantly, wanting to smile. While he had a slight idea of where she was going with her question, he wanted to see her state of mind. “Yes, they did. Not much of a choice when you can’t talk. So, if I... live up to my ‘last’ name, would you be willing to talk to me?”

Meli's eyes met with his. During this moment of pause and reflection, she smiled. She already liked him better than the other doctors she had seen. She felt at ease. She felt as if she could trust him to some level. Not completely, he was one of nerdy sweater-vest wearing jerks...but it was something. “Yeah, I guess I can talk to you...Dr. ‘What-a-maniac’.”

He chuckled at her answer; exactly what he expected. People misunderstood her sarcasm and cynicism. They often thought she was trying to hurt people. But; instead, he came to understand that the sarcasm and cynicism was just a defense mechanism. She felt alone without her sister, who was the only one she could actually identify with.

*

Meli slammed her locker shut. The loud echo filled the empty halls. Her initial thought at the very sight of Merlin’s wide ridiculous smile: You have got to be kidding me.

“What do you want?” The question was all too obvious and so were her glaring brown eyes.

“We have a quiz next week and I thought today would be a good day to start studying. What do you think?” his stupid boyish smile became wider by the second. She could have sworn that he was trying to pull off the pathetic abandoned puppy-dog eyes.

“You don’t want to know what I think.” Her middle finger would not do any justice to describe what was going on inside her mind at that moment. She paused and thought that if she left right now, she would be picked up by her father. If she stayed, she would be free to leave without being escorted like a prisoner. “Alright, Pencil Boy, let’s do it.”

“Pencil Boy?” Merlin winced at his new-found nickname. “How about Honey, Sweetie, Most handsome and coolest guy in the world?”

“Don’t push it,” she warned and lightly flicked his nose with her finger.

“Ouch.” He rubbed his nose as he playfully grinned. “So, school library or-”

“The town library is better,” she cut him off immediately. The farther she was from school the better; her father would have no choice but to let her go.

“Ummm...yeah. The town library it is.”

As they began to walk out of the school, Merlin graciously offered to carry her books, as any gentleman would, but received only her infamous roll of her eyes as a response. She abruptly stopped as they reached the end of the stairs leading to the parking lot in front of the school. Meli spotted her father. “Just wait right here.” She made her way to her father’s Mercedes with a scowl plastered on her face.

“I'm assuming you won't be coming home just yet,” he conceded at the sight of her punk escort holding his skateboard, “I'll pick you up later. Just let me know where you will be.”

“No need. We will be in the town library, it's a short walk to get home from there,” she said nonchalantly, her arms resting on top of the passenger door.

Placing his index finger on his temple, he thought about her words. To him, she was still not quite in the trustworthy territory. “I don’t know about that...”

At his indecision, she decided to give it up, “Well, then I will call you when I'm finish.” She turned and rolled her eyes once more; this time in defeat.

As she took a couple steps away from the car, she heard his voice call out, “Wait.”
“Yeah?” She turned toward him once more. With her her arms dangling to her side, she tilted her head and braced herself for his reaction.

“On second thought,” her father struggled with indecision, but alas he concluded, “I have a meeting today and I'm not sure what time I’ll be done.” She knew that a late night meeting meant a sure fight in the morning with her mother. She reminded herself that it has nothing to do with her, so she shrugged it off. Better for her.

“That’s fine, I can walk home-”
“No. He will take you home,” he pointed behind her.
“Wait... what?!” She turned to see Merlin standing a few feet away like a lost puppy. Pointing the steps, she angrily whispers, “Didn’t I tell you to wait over there?”

“I saw you walking away from the car,so I wanted to meet you half way.” he explained with innocence written on his face. “Sir, I can definitely take her home. Thank you for the opportunity... sir,” he bowed as if he was given the highest honor.

She sighed; exasperated and annoyed, she pressed her books to his chest. He quickly grabbed and accommodated them in his arms before they spilled in the parking lot.

“Thank you again!” Merlin bellowed as they both turned to walk away.
“Hey, Buddy!” Together, both of them turned to see her father making the ‘I got my eye on you’ signal to him. “Keep it in the pants!”

Merlin shook his head yes fiercely as his face turned deep red from the embarrassing warning.

Meli scoffed and shook her head in disgust, “As if I can’t take care of myself. He’ll be neutered if he tries anything.” She then slightly pushed him away from her as she turned to walk to the library.

Merlin gulped at her statement. He couldn't decide whom he should be scared of most; her dad’s evil eye or Meli’s threat of castration.

*

The library was quiet. Even with people out and about, choosing their books, the loudest sound was that of turning pages. It was very peaceful. Meli liked the quiet and she loved the library. She felt comfortable in the silence and had learned to appreciate the loneliness.

“Meli? Hello?” She gathered her whits as she saw a hand waving back and forth in front of her face. It was then that she remembered that she was not alone.

“What?” She asked. Annoyed by the situation, she just looked at him.

Merlin jumped a bit at her tone, “I was just asking if this table was okay?”

“Yeah, whatever,” she replied disinterested, throwing one hand in the air as she turned her head away from him.

Merlin smiled at her sweetly. He placed her books on the table and then dropped his backpack on the floor next to his chair. The brown-eyed girl felt a slight hint of guilt at the sight of his smile. No matter how mean she was to him, he never snapped back at her, which was something she was expecting him to do eventually. Everyone else did and rarely anyone could put up with her crappy attitude. There was just something about him she couldn’t figure out. It’s not that she wanted to be inconsiderate to everyone; it was the only way she knew how to act. He didn't seem to mind. He seemed to overlook it, like it wasn't a big deal.

She managed to soften her expression and her tone, “Alright, so what do we start with?”

“Well we can start with … uh … the first thing... uh... is...” Merlin was taken aback by her sudden change of mood. He ruffled through his backpack looking for his notes. He thought to himself, "What is up with her?" He could not for the life of him read her. The hazel eyed boy figured she must be bi-polar or maybe she was just crazy. Whatever it was he liked it. He found it adorable.

“Do I leave you this speechless all the time? Huh, Pencil Boy?”

“I just... well...” Merlin continued to stutter. If it were anyone else, Meli would have found his lack of eloquent speech quite irritating. For some reason she didn’t when it came to him.

She shook her head and scoffed at her inner thought, “Let’s get on with this; I have a place to be soon.”

“Oh,” confused, he looked down. His mind trying to create the proper question. “Where would that be?”

“Nosy much?”

Merlin laughed nervously, he didn’t want to seem so intrusive. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.”

“You are a smart one after all. You’re right, you shouldn’t have,” she glared.

There was a pause and unfamiliar awkwardness in the air which Merlin decided to break. He hated awkward situations. “Right. Well, it’s going to be a while. We have to go over a few chapters for this quiz. I promised "Mr. L" I would help you out.”

Meli stared blankly at him, “You’re not teacher pet material you know?”

“I know! I’m not trying to be...” he defended himself.

“Why are you helping me then?” She enquired in a curious tone. Her hands pressed against her face, holding up her chin.

He thought about it for a minute, he didn't want to say what he really felt right then and there. He needed to find the right moment; plus he just wasn’t sure what to make of this girl just yet. One thing was for sure, she was all sorts of trouble. “Extra credit?!" he burst out.

“Uhhh...” was her first reply. She knew there was something more to it other than 'extra credit', but she decided to shrug it off. “I see.”

They began their studies and Merlin was a great teacher. While she usually didn't care to study, she was finding it easy to learn with Merlin’s methods. It was different from how Mr. Lancaster taught. Merlin jotted down a few math exercises for her to do and for once she did not complain. She was actually intrigued. Using his tutoring, she could see the problems differently. She could see them as simple as he did. Her pencil flowed in perfect rhythm with his; both completing one math problem after the other. Synchronized.

Meli sighed in relief as she finished the last math problem on the page. Proud of herself for going through with all them, she smiled and exhaled. She gave a quick glance at the boy sitting across from her. He seemed deeply concentrated in his notebook. Sitting there with his tongue slightly poking through his lips, his pencil swiftly moved across the page. It was enticing; somewhat intriguing. Seeing that he was no longer working on math problems, meant he had finished before her. Which meant he was doing something else. Which meant that she was now very curious.

“Watcha doing?” Meli questioned while eyeing his book in some sort of trance.

Merlin had been so lost in his drawing he had paid little attention to her attentiveness. He quickly closed the book and shook his head, “Nothing.”

“That didn’t look like 'nothing' to me.” she taunted.

He would die if Meli saw what he was doing. He had watched her discretely as she was concentrating on her task, doing his best at not getting caught. The fact that he had sneaked glances at her was already dangerous. He could only imagine how she would react at seeing all the drawings he had created of her. (1) It was personal. He didn't like sharing the fact that he could draw. (2) He would be embarrassed for the rest of his life. (3) Page after page was Meli. It was a darn Meli lovefest in there.

“Show me...” She reached out her arms to grab the book, to which Merlin reacted quickly and hugged his sketch book, protecting that book wih his life.

“No! It’s personal,” he clutched it tighter.

Meli’s brow raised in surprise and devious expectation. Lowering her voice to a sexy whisper, “What does a girl have to do... to... ummm... get to see your ‘personal’ goodies?” Cupping and boosting her breasts up with her hands in a playful manner, she closed her eyes and softly bit her bottom lip while vocalizing a seductive moan. A wide grin began to spread on her face when his eyes widened and his mouth opened in shock. She let go of her breast and began to laugh uncontrollably, “You are so gullible. I was just teasing, relax.”

A loud “shh” came from the older woman behind the counter, making the Meli cover her mouth to muffle her laughter.

He felt a bit insulted and turned his gaze away. Grabbing his water bottle and taking a big gulp, Meli saw a new opportunity to shine through. “Besides, I’m a lesbian.” As she expected, he sprayed the water out of his mouth and to the side. Merlin had pure horror written all over his face. His world was crumbling to pieces. He wanted to shake the lesbian out of her or he was hoping that she didn't say what he thought she did. He stared her down trying to find any hint or movement in her that would let him know she was just kidding. Before Meli could even open her mouth, a petite blonde headed girl with a murderous stare stood before them. Her hands turned to fists and she looked like she was ready to kill someone.

“What the HELL is your problem, Loser!?”

Merlin passed his hands over his unruly hair. “I’m sorry... I didn’t see you,” he tried to explain.

The girl was soaked with water sprayed from his mouth and he knew he was going to get it. Before the girl could do or say anything to poor Pencil Boy, she was met with a slightly taller girl dressed in combat boots, a black frilly skirt and heavy dark eyeliner around her dark brown eyes. Meli crossed her arms and stared her down daring this petite girly-girl to do something. “Don’t have an ulcer, your cheap hair extensions might fall out and then who will love you?”

The girl looked horrified, “Ugh, how dare you... you... you...” The blonde was at a loss for words as she touched her head and a strand of her blonde hair stuck to her fingers. She was angry, but most of all embarrassed. She decided to leave her hair as it was and quickly ran the opposite way before anyone else see her.

Meli started bursting in laughter one more time; ignoring the
“shh’s” she received from the elderly clerk.

Merlin couldn’t help but give a sigh in relief as he saw the girl stomp away. He couldn't help but laugh a little at Meli’s fits of laughter. He didn’t think it would ever be possible to see her smile let alone laugh. It was such a sweet sound. “Thanks,” he smirked, “...for standing up for me.”

She sat down as her laughter diminishing to audible chuckles, “I figured I got you into that mess, might as well get you out of it. Did you see her?! She was going to kick your ass! No doubt about it. Well, either her or steroid boy over there.” Her eyes drifted behind him. His eyes followed hers to a jock wearing a letterman's jacket from rival high school. He was glaring at them both, but made no attempt to say anything. Instead, at the sight of Meli, he just pulled his gaze away and back to his book. Merlin didn’t understand why, but he was thankful for the lack of confrontation.

They finished a few more problems and gathered their books to leave. A blaring guitar riff screamed from Meli's phone as the vibrating phone buzzed across the table. Meli quickly recognized the sound. She stared at the name on the display screen. It was him. She debated on whether to answer or not. Because of him, she didn’t get to see her sister. Before she even made it to the bus stop, her mother spotted her walking down the street and brought her back home. Which, in turn, got her grounded...again. She wouldn’t have had that problem if he hadn’t been such a jerk and just took her like she had asked. The call went to voicemail. She was somewhat relieved that she didn’t answer, but before she could put the phone away the ringtone blared once more as his name popped up one more time.

Merlin watched her, wondering who it was that was calling and why it had her in such deep thought. Was it someone she cared about? A boyfriend? Or worse a girlfriend?

Meli finally answered. Merlin did his best to discretel listen to the voice on the other end.

“Hi Love. Please...”

It was definitely a guy. Merlin heard his voice when he called her ‘Love’. Some guy with a Harry Potter accent. The sound of his voice made his heart sink into the bottom of an endless void.

“What do you want, Jason?” She replied in a harsh tone. At this Merlin perked right up. “I have nothing else to talk to you about!"

Merlin silently wished to himself that she would just hang up on whoever was the owner of that fancy accent. He didn’t know him yet, but he already knew that he didn’t like him.

“Alright... alright, I’ll be right out since you’re here anyway.” Meli hung up the phone and turned to Merlin. “I have to go; someone is giving me a ride.”

“Your dad is here?” He questioned, knowing that it was definitely not him.

“No, it’s someone else.” Without explaining anything else she began to walk away as he followed.

“Your dad specifically asked ME to take you home.” he quickly informed her as he continued to try and keep up with her pace.

She rolled her eyes in annoyance. “Look, I’ll tell him you took me home, okay?”

“No!” He grabbed her by the hand as an impulse. Meli took notice and looked surprised by this. He knew she was bound to slap him or do something worse, but he didn’t care; she was his responsibility. “If something were to happen to you I would be responsible.”

“You’re being over-dramatic,” she argued. The girl pulled her hand from his and continued to walk out of the library. “Thanks, but I can take care of myself.”

“Mel-” His words were cut short at the sight of the most ridiculously handsome guy leaning back with his arms arroganty crossed across his chest and leaning against the most ridiculously expensive car he had ever seen. The guy removed his shades and smiled brightly at the sight of Meli as she shuffled her way down the library steps. All he could say was... “Shit.”


Chapter 5

So many inner thoughts filled his head. He thought about the moment he reached out and grabbed her hand. He thought about the way she jerked her hand away and looked at him as if he was a stranger. He even thought about how there were these little moments where he could see the best of her. Her humor, her playful side, her protective nature, even how quickly she could pick up academics when she put her mind to it. He thought about how his courage left him, just as quick as she pulled her hand away.

The walk home was nowhere near as close to his house as it was to hers. The long walk home after a possible speechless moment alone with her was really all he expected. He embraced the fact that he would probably be too shy to speak with her, but after her antics in the library, he didn't think the silence would be so awkward. But if it was, the fact that he would be close enough to touch her was good enough for him.

With the sun setting and the shadows of the trees and houses stretching larger on the ground in front of him, he toted his backpack on one shoulder and his skateboard on the other. The long walk was filled with sharp feelings of painful regret. Beating himself up for stuttering and stumbling over his thoughts, like a scared little boy facing his biggest fear. He knew that she caught him staring at her. He knew that she caught him drawing her like an obsessive weirdo. To act like a child getting caught with his hand in the cookie jar was not on the list of ways to react when getting caught being a stalkerish loser.

No matter how he acted, he made peace with the fact that he was so shy and childish. The part about her choosing Harry Potter over him was the part that stung the most. What if she didn't make it home in time? He wondered how much trouble he could be in because he didn't take her home like he had promised; he even bowed with honor.

All in all, there were moments when he could see her for the amazing she displayed. He didn't know who this other guy was, but he didn't trust him as much as she did. Besides, the longer that he is in the picture, there is no way that she could see him for the amazing that he displayed.

**

Walking into his house, he could hear the beeping of the microwave and smell the familiar scent of his favorite TV dinner. He could hear his mother clanking dishes and silverware, ready to set the table for their nightly ritual.

"What's wrong, Honey?"

"Nothing", he replied with his voice low and discouraged.

"Want to talk about it?" she asked him as she picked the stack of plates up from the counter top. "So, who is she?" she asked knowing that only a girl can bring such a frown to a young man's face.

Not really knowing how to respond, he fired back at her in his not-so-typical fashion. "Mom, why do you keep setting the table for four? They aren't coming back! No one is going to be here. It's just you and me! No dad! No brother! Just us!" He quickly ran up stairs to drown himself in his headphones to hide from the shame of letting her see him so weak.

Stunned by his emotion lashout, she sat the dishes down on the cabinet and slowly walked herself into the dining room. "You'll have to forgive him. I know he would never act like this if he knew you were here. So, your name is Meli?"


**

Meli slowly made her way up the stairs toward his bedroom, engaged with carefully looking at the pictures of Merlin and his family. She smiled at how much fun they seemed to have when taking pictures. Seeing Merlin as a baby, being held by what looked to be his brother. At first, she thought it was Merlin. Meli reached up and touched the face of the baby, smiling as she missed the times when she was held by her family. Slowly taking one step at a time, she took the time to see every picture. Moments in the park, the love and laughter didn't seem to be as rehearsed as it was in the pictures that hung in her house.

"You know," his mother's voice softly spoke at the bottom of the stairs, "he was a surprise to us all." She walked up the stairs and took a spot beside her as she turned and smiled at the picture she saw Meli's hand touch so gingerly. "This was taken just before the accident."

"What happened?" Meli asked her as she looked into the eyes of the delicate baby boy.

"Well, Marty, Merlin's brother, had just graduated high school. He and his girlfriend were on their last road trip before he left for college." She paused for a moment to keep herself from crying. She struggled to talk, as Meli put her hand on his mother's shoulder.

"You don't have to tell me, in your own time." Meli spoke softly to his mother. She turned to look at Meli and gently placed her hand on top of hers.

"It's okay, I need to tell you." She paused for a moment, taking a deep breath and then continued. "While on their road trip, I received a knock on the door. When I opened the door, there were two soldiers standing there with their hat in their hand a one with a folded flag under her arm. When you are in the military family, you don't need anyone to explain what this meeting is about."

"You don't have to say..."
"No, Meli, it's okay." Taking a deep breath, she sunk back into her thoughts and continued. "When I called to inform Marty, he and his girlfriend quickly turned around to come home to be with the family. That's when he lost control of his motorcycle, killing both himself and Shelly. I lost 3 of the most important people in my life in a matter of an hour. Four if you include myself. I have never been the same. I couldn't get over things and I have put way too much pressure on Merlin." Tears began to swell in her eyes as she squeezed her lips together to keep from bursting into sobs.

His mother stood there, lost in a gaze and gathering her bearing, looking at their smiling faces trapped on a 6x9 glossy photo stuck in a timeless pause. It was a perfect picture of how things should have been. She continued, "Merlin was only 2 years old. He never really knew them. The hardest part for me, every day I have to relive the pain when I look into Merlin's eyes. He looks exactly like them." She smiled at Meli and put her arm around her back and pulled Meli into her, embracing her in a warm hug that Meli hasn't felt in years. "Don't hurt him, Meli. Please, don't hurt him."

"Don't worry, I won't." They looked into each other's eyes and smiled with the comfort of knowing that their intentions were for the best.

**

Meli quietly knocked on his door as she slowly pushed the door open. "Merlin? Are you okay?" He lay on his bed with his arms folded over his face. The quiet sound of guitars and drums leaked through his headphones as he squeezed his jaw tense. She slowly walked into his room and looked at drawings that seemed to be everywhere. Pictures of dreamy girly eyes, hands, and faces where pinned and taped to the walls. Pictures of different cartoons and people were stacked on his desk and dressers. Meli took the room in with awe as she slowly turned in a circle looking at the hidden talent that Merlin has been hiding from her and the rest of the world.

There it was, sitting on the floor beside his bed. The notebook that he spent so much time in. Picking it up, she opened it. Pictures of her sleeping in class, her walking away with her finger in the air, her smiling, her slumped over doing math in the library, so many pictures. She couldn't believe the detail and talent he hid from the world. She looked happy in the pictures he would draw. She never felt as happy as he saw her. Smiling, she quietly closed the book and softly placed it back on the floor.

She walked to the edge of his bed and watched him lay there in his anger. His stomach moving up and down to oblige his lungs. She reached her hand out in hesitation, slowly moving her hand close to his shoulder. Startled by his quick words that he spoke without uncovering his eyes, she pulled her hand back. "Mom, you can't keep this up!"

Meli quietly smiled in silent recognition of his need to express his feelings. Giving him the privacy of his moment, she backed out of the room and quietly shut the door. Sneaking back down the stairs and without looking at the pictures on the wall, she turned the corner to head toward the dining room where his mother sat eating her microwaveable dinner. "I'm sorry to bother you, Ma'am. I think I need to go home."

"No problem, Dear. I'll take you. Is he okay?" she asked Meli, in hopes that they had talked. She knew that there was something about Meli. She knew that Meli had something to offer him. She liked her and she knew that Merlin liked her. She recognized Meli from his pictures as soon as she knocked on the door with tears in her eyes.

"Yeah, he is fine." Meli confirmed,"He's just a little tired."

"Yeah," mom said, "He's been working so hard to take care of me. He's much too young to feel so obligated, you know? He's a good boy, Meli. He really is. He really likes you."

Meli smiled in acknowledgement of his mother's words as they walked to her car.

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Tag der Veröffentlichung: 09.09.2011

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