Is there ANYONE trustworthy? What do you do if your soul mate leaves you for someone else? Well this is how I felt when Tim Karrono left me. I can't live on. Not like this. I'll never love again.
Chapter 1
I'm The Loser Girl who got dumped by her soul mate. My name is Serena Georgia and I'm a high school freshman. I had met this amazing guy named Tim Karrono about five months earlier. We started dating during the summer, but then I got grounded and couldn't see or talk to him for a few months, then I found out that he had a new girlfriend. He is my soul mate, I just know it. How can I live without him? I see his little sister at the park today. I start to think of Vanilla Twilight by Owl City which was our song. God, I hate my life. I hate HIM!
"Yo. Barb!" I call to her, she looks up at me. Her face lights up.
"Serena!" She calls as I walk over to her. "How are you?"
"How am I?" I stare at her. Did she really just ask me that? "Oh I'm just dandy!" I say, sarcastically. Right then I hear someone yell from behind me,
"Hey barb! Hurry up! I'm in a hurry!" I spin around to see Tim sitting in his car, looking down at his phone. He glances up and sees me. I spin around and walk away.
"Holy shit!" I hear him yell as he slams the door behind him. "Serena!"
I continue walking.
"Wait!" He yells and I hear him running behind me. I cross my arms. I feel his hand on my arm and spin around.
"What do you want, Tim?" I growl.
"I didn't know you were ungrounded." He says, smiling at me. "It's sure nice to see you again."
I raise my eyebrows at him. "Is it really?" I laugh.
"What?" He says, looking confused.
"You say it's nice to see me, but i don't think it really is. I don't think you like me." I say.
"Serena. What the hell are you talking about?"
"You know what I'm talking about! You don't like me. You left me for some one else. You never really did love me, did you?" I look away, tears forming in my eyes.
"Wow." He murmurs, his face paling. "I didn't realize that's what you think is going on. I love you so much. I can't explain it to you." But right then I see another car pull up and a girl is sitting at the wheel with sunglasses covering her eyes.
"Yo baby!" She yells, chewing gum. "You ready to go? Michael's party is just about to start. We don't want to be late, do we?"
Tim sighs then looks at me for another minute. "I'm so sorry I hurt you, Serena. I never intended to. Please believe me when I say that I love you. I always think about you and remember you and just because I have someone else in my life too doesn't mean I've pushed YOU out of it. Please don't push me away."
I look away as he leans in and kisses the top of my head. I cant keep my tears in and watch as he walks toward the girls car.
"Is that-" I hear her start to say. He nods. She gives me a little smile and wave. She seems nice and everything but I don't care.
"I don't think I shall ever talk to him again." I tell my best friend, Mia Charr, later that night. I'm on the phone with her. Unfortunately she lives in a different town but it's only like an hour away.
"Oh, Serena. We both know how much you are hurting, but it will hurt you more if you push him out of your life." She says. Then I hear her sigh. "Okay, listen I'm coming down tomorrow and everything. We will walk around and go shopping and just try to get your mind off of him. Okay? I have to go. Dinners ready. Remember, I love you and so do so many other people. I'll see you tomorrow. Okay? Bye I love you."
"I love you too. Bye." I say, shutting my phone. Then I roll over on my bed and sigh. Why is love so difficult? I know that we are meant to be together. Why is the world working against me then? I groan then get up and turn on my computer. I check my Facebook then log off. Grr nobody interesting is on. Actually pretty much none of my friends are on. Except one. The one I don't want to talk to.
Tim Karrono: Hey :)
Serena Georgia: Hello
Tim Karrono: Listen, about earlier. I wanted to talk more but I had to go to a party
Serena Georgia: Ha! Never heard that one b4. Did u just decide to start makin up excuses or something?
Tim Karrono: I've never lied to u b4.
Serena Georgia: No but u have never told the whole truth either. Like wen u promised u wuld never leave me. I'm guessin that was just a joke or something to u?
Tim Karrono: U've Never been a joke to me! NEVER!
Serena Georgia: Wateva
Tim Karrono: Please believe me. I wasn't jokin wen I said I still love u. I will always love u
Serena Georgia: Wateva…
He stops messaging me for a few minutes. I sigh then take a drink of my water that sits right next to my computer on my desktop. I get up and lay down on my bed with my computer in front of me.
Tim Karrono: Do u still love me?
I don't reply for a few minutes. Did he really just ask me that question?
Serena Georgia: I hear ur thinking bout getting engaged
Tim Karrono: Yeah, I was thinkin bout it.
Serena Georgia: Hmmm… Ya kno that's a pretty big commitment. R u sure ur ready for that?
Tim Karrono: Yes
I don't know what to say now. I can feel my heart sink.
Tim Karrono: Hey listen, I gtg. See ya l8er. Ok?
I sigh. Then type in one word:
Serena Georgia: Goodbye
Then I log out before he can write anymore. So he IS thinking about getting engaged? I lay on my bed and cry myself to sleep.
"Hey, you okay?" I look up to see Mia studying me from across the table and smile at her. My smile is fake but hopefully she believes it.
"Yeah," I shrug, straightening up as I see a group of guys watching us from the corner of the room. We are sitting in a small new cafe thats name is Isaucer. "I'm fine. Sorry I just have a lot on my mind."
She nods. "I'm sure you do." She says, then her eyes narrow as I hear the door open and boys voices laughing.
"Hey everyone! The boys are back!" I hear Ian Monroe say. Uh-oh, I think. If Ian's hear then that means that Tim is-
"Let's go." I whisper to Mia and she nods. We head towards the back door but then I hear someone behind us say,
"Serena? Mia?"
I turn to see Tim standing there, looking at us. He looks so cute with his black hair all ruffled up, in his jeans and t-shirt. Oh god, I think, staring at him and wondering why he could hurt me so badly. No I am not going to stand here and hurt myself more.
"Excuse us," I say as I walk out the door, pulling Mia along with me and ignoring him as he calls after me.
A week later, I am sitting on my bed and turn on the computer. I can handle this, I think as I log into Facebook. I can move on.
Serena Georgia: Hi
Tim Karrono: hi
Serena Georgia: How r ju?
Tim Karrono: Just about to kill myself. Hbu?
Holy shit, I think. What happened? Did his girlfriend leave him?
Serena Georgia: No! Don't do that! Why?
Tim Karrono: Cuz this stupid keyboard wont work
Serena Georgia: Ohhhh
Oh, I think. To be honest, I felt kind-of disappointed. I mean not that I had wanted him to be hurting because his girlfriend had dumped him or anything but because when I thought she had dumped him I had felt a spark of hope in my heart that maybe we could start over, that maybe we could be like we were a few months before. Maybe we truly were meant to be together. But now I see I was wrong. Wow. He's going to kill himself because a stupid keyboard wont work? What a perfect waste of a perfect life
Serena Georgia: Listen, Ik sometimes things can annoy u and u just don't wanna go on. Trust me, I've been there b4 but think bout all the ppl who love and care bout u! Wat would ur gf do if u died? Please promise not to kill urself. If nothing else u have to keep that promise. Please?
Tim Karrono: Ok. I will
Serena Georgia: Ok. good
Serena Georgia: Wait. wat?
He stops replying.
Serena Georgia: Yay! I'm happy. I'm finally gettin over u!
Serena Georgia: Not that I don't still love u or anythin
Serena Georgia: I mean I still love u and all but not as much as b4
I can feel my face turn bright red. I'm glad he can't see me. What he writes next however astonishes me out of my wits.
Tim Karrono: I love you more than I did b4
!!!!!!!!! Did he really just say that? I don't think I saw that right. Did he accidentally send that to me when he meant to send it to someone else?
Serena Georgia: Wat?? Did u really just say u love me more now than u did wen we were datin?
Tim Karrono: Yes
Serena Georgia: But u have a gf!
Serena Georgia: But yeah I think I love u more than I did b4 too
Serena Georgia: Haha it's funny but u never seem to realize how much u love some1 til their gone. Lol
Tim Karrono: But I'm not gone. I'm here lovin u more than ever
Tim Karrono: I'm with u
Tim Karrono: I'm here 4 u
Oh god, I think, close to tears. How can I move on if he tells me this kinds of stuff? Then I realize. If this is true then I don't have to move on. But theres just like a few things I need to sort out.
Serena Georgia: Well ur not here for me. U really r gone. Cuz ur with someone else now
He doesn't reply.
Serena Georgia: So I heard ur thinking bout getting engaged. U do realize how big of a commitment that is, right? R u ready 4 that kind of thing?
I think I have asked him this question before but I don't really care.
Tim Karrono: Yeah I'm thinkin bout getting engaged
Serena Georgia: Yes but r u ready?
Tim Karrono: Yes
Tim Karrono: But I'm thinking bout some one else
Oh my god. Did he really say that?
Serena Georgia: Yes well u love her
Tim Karrono: Yeah but I love u too
Grrrr. Why does he have to be SOOO sweet?
Serena Georgia: -Sighs- Yes but do u kno who u truly love?
Tim Karrono: Yes
Serena Georgia: Oh really? Who?
Serena Georgia: Her, right?
Tim Karrono: No
!!!!!!!! Did he really just say that he loves ME more? I am starting to feel whoozy now. But not the bad kind. The good kind. I am so happy! I love him so much and he loves me too!
Serena Georgia: Did u relli just say u love ME more than ur gf?????
Tim Karrono: Yes
Oh my god! I can not believe this is happening! I mean ever since I found out he had a new girlfriend I always imagined us getting back together but I never thought it would actually happen! This is so exciting! I'm feeling the happiest I've felt in like days! To be honest, I never had moved on but I had just wanted to believe I had. I sigh. This is way too good to be true.
Serena Georgia: Wow
Tim Karrono: I'm sorry but it's true
Wow. Gosh, I never saw this coming. But I guess its not THAT unbelieveable
Serena Georgia: Listen, I love you so much. Probly more than u love me but… U have a gf.
Serena Georgia: I'm sorry to ask this but i'm really confused. If u love me more than ur gf, then y did u leave me for her?
Tim Karrono: Cuz I thot I loved her
Tim Karrono: But I don't
Okay, woah. I can see that he loves ME but… he doesn't love HER?
Serena Georgia: Not at all?
Tim Karrono: Not at all
!!!!!!!!!!!! Not at ALL???? Okay, I definitely did NOT see THAT one coming! This is totally mind-blowing!!!!
Serena Georgia: Wow. I'm sorry but this is a lot to take in
Tim Karrono: I mean I do love her
Tim Karrono: But I love U more
Suddenly my mom knocks on the door.
"Time for dinner sweetie." She calls.
"Okay. I'll be right down." I call then turn back to my computer.
Serena Georgia: Even tho u love me more u dont hav 2 dump her. I dont want 2 hav that on my conscience
Tim Karrono: I want to
Oh my gosh. Really? He does?
Serena Georgia: Okay well I gtg but just remember, if u do leave her I will always be here for u
Tim Karrono: Ok
Serena Georgia: Bye <3
Then I log off before he can reply. I feel like I could scream from joy. I can feel a huge smile on my face as I walk to the kitchen.
Chapter 2
"So how is Tim?" My mom asks as we're sitting at the kitchen table.
"Uh, he's good." I say, unsure why my mom is asking me this.
"That's good." She says, smiling at me. "'Cause I want you to stop seeing him."
"Mom!" I say, straightening up. "No!"
"Yes." She sighs. "I hate it when you make me seem like the bad guy, Serena."
"That's cause you are!" I practically shout, standing up.
My dad is looking down at his plate while my sister is watching us and our friend Helen is trying to reason with my mom.
"Now Elizabeth," She says, putting her hand on my moms arm. "Let's sort this out before you don't let her see the boy she loves."
My mom stands up. "No." She says, firmly. "Your not seeing that boy anymore and thats final." And with that she walks out of there, carrying her plate to the sink. We all sit there in silence for a few minutes until I turn on my heel and stomp to my room. I lay on my bed and sob. Then there's a knock on my door. I groan.
"Who is it?" I call.
"It's me." Says Helen.
"Come in." I say, sighing. She walks in and sits down at the end of my bed.
"How are you doing?" She asks me. I groan.
"Gr, what do you think?" I ask, turning on my bed so that I can see her.
"I know that it hurts right now." She tells me. "But we'll figure something out. Your mom is just worried about you right now."
"Whatever." I mumble. "Could I please be by myself right now?"
"Sure sweetie." She says, leaning in and kissing my forehead before getting up and walking to the door. "Goodnight sweetheart."
"Night." I mutter. Once the door is closed however I get up and turn my computer on. Yay! He's on.
Tim Karrono: Hey :)
Serena Georgia: Hi :D
Tim Karrono: I'm glad ur on. I wanted to invite u to a party.
Awww he's so sweet. I had two choices. I could either be a good little girl and turn him down or… I could make up my own rules!
Serena Georgia: OK! Can u pick me up? Come to my window. I'm gonna slip out
Tim Karrono: Ok. I'll be right there
Serena Georgia: Ok bye. C u soon :)
About ten minutes later I'm slipping out of my window. I'm so glad my room is on the ground cause I'm TERRIFIED of heights.
"Hey." He says, smiling at me as he pulls me through the window.
"Hi." I say, shyly.
"You look beautiful." He says, looking me up and down.
"Thanks." I say. I have on a t-shirt that is very loose on me and jeans that are very tight on me. Two very opposite things. Haha. I look up to see someone in the window. Shit.
"Let's get going." I whisper to him and we hurry towards his car.
"Hey what's the rush?" He asks as he starts his car.
"My mom doesn't want me to see you." I say, looking through the window.
"Oh." He says. He glances over at me then puts his arm on the back of my seat, squeezing my shoulder. "Are you gonna listen to her?"
"No." I say, very firmly. "She cant tell me what to do." Well, technically she can but I didn't care bout that.
He nods. "I understand that you are at a very resistant age, Babe, but I also realize that your mom just doesn't want you to get hurt. Trust me, I know what it's like to have a child you cant even take care of."
I gasp. "Oh my god, I totally forgot you have a child." I can feel tears in my eyes. "How is he?"
He studies me for a minute then rubs my tear off my cheek. "He's fine. Don't cry love."
"I'm sorry." I say, trying to just laugh it off and failing miserably.
He shakes his head. "Don't be." He says, smiling slightly. "I love you more than anything. I could never want anything better than you."
I cry harder. Not because I was sad but because he could never be anything better than he is.
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Tag der Veröffentlichung: 01.07.2012
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