01

It was hard leaving Seattle to move Los Angeles. Nonetheless, I had to do it. For my future career of course. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to move, I wanted to, but when the time came I realized how much I would miss this place. I would miss the cloudy weather and lousy summers. I’d probably miss Mrs. Higgins who was always bugging me about all sorts of things. Good old Mrs. Higgins. She was that classic woman who lives next door to you with around 5 cats. I always thought she was a bore, but lately I’ve come to realize she was just a lonely old lady. Her family, they all lived in Florida, so she was alone here. She had only us, so I decided to stay in touch. I’ve grown to like her and she grew to like me, seeing I wasn’t just another rebellious, guitar playing teenager.

I remember she once told me ‘if you don’t chase the rainbow, how will you ever climb it?’

It struck me as a deep thing to say. You know, climbing a rainbow. She told me she wanted to be a ballerina when she was young. She wanted to dance and travel the world, then she met her husband and she settled down and left all of her dreams behind. That’s when she told me to never give up my dreams, not even for the love of my life because if he really is the love of my life… he’ll want my dreams coming true. Yes, Mrs. Higgins was a wise lady as well.

She was also a magnificent cook, you know. I have never tasted a better pie than hers. She bakes all sorts of pies, cakes… you ought to try it one day. My favorite is cheese cake and her cherry pie. One more thing that I loved was that her place never smelled like old people or cats, it smelled of vanilla and cinnamon. It always smelled like Christmas. And if I haven’t figured this out in the last couple of months, I have realized it now – I considered her my grandmother. She was an excellent grandma type. Nice, caring and loves baking. And I am pretty sure she thought of me as her granddaughter, which flattered me.

Tomorrow was leaving day. I had packed all of my suitcases this morning and currently I am sitting here, just thinking about Seattle. I would miss more than just Mrs. Higgins here. I would miss the street in front of the building where I used to live, I’d miss the cold weather, I’d miss a lot of things. The smell of spring in this city, even school and my teachers. I think I’ll even miss the jocks from the school. You know, I only realized how much I’ve grown fond of some things I thought I hated when I came to terms we were leaving.

We as in my mom and I. I live with my mom only, since I was 11, that means for 6 years now. Dad and her divorced because, well, dad found other woman. First I was extremely mad at him for just leaving us, but I realized it’s for the best. They used to fight constantly and once he moved out, it was all over and mom and I were a happy family. Of course, I didn’t stay mad at my dad, I loved him. And I still spend two weeks each summer at his place in Nashville. My dad and his new wife Kayla, they moved to Nashville once they got married. They have a huge house and a ranch there. Dad even bought me a horse. I liked going there over summer. It was peaceful and relaxing, plus dad and Kayla, they made a nice couple. They made a better couple than my mom and dad ever were. Kayla was also like my other mom, or at least like my aunt. Mom didn’t really adore Kayla, but they were on good terms. Kayla and I, we had our misunderstandings in the beginning but then we started getting along very well and even now, when I am miles away, I call her when I am unsure of some things and I don’t want to ask mom.

My mom and I had a nice relationship, she trusted me and I came to her whenever I had a problem. We weren’t picture perfect, we fought and I would get grounded, but we shared respect for each other and I think that’s very important.

If you want to know about my friends, well I didn’t have many here. I’m not a people person actually, I’m quite an introvert. That’s why people considered me strange in my school. I didn’t mind it. I was and I am the way I am, if it’s not fine with them, they don’t have to like me.

Plus, I wasn’t that popular because I was the talented girl, the girl who could play music really well and everybody knew that. My school didn’t really have many talented kids so if you were one with the talent, then you were very well know in school. Also, there was no way some one normal would hang out with you.

Well, that’s why I was finishing high school with all As. I spent most of my free time studying and when I wasn’t studying I was writing. Writing poems or lyrics, doesn’t really matter. Writing is writing, no matter what shape it takes. Weather it’s a silly child song or a mature love song, writing is a way to express your emotions. And even if it is a silly child song, writing begins when we are young and innocent and through the years we learn to improve our writing and we change our views on world, thus our writing grows and changes with us.

I sighed, closing the window. It was almost six o’clock which means I would have to go get ready because we were invited for a dinner over at Mrs. Higgins’ place. As I had already mentioned she was an excellent cook, so I was looking forward to going. Not to mention I came to love the old woman as family. And that’s what she was, a part of our little family and I felt bad for leaving her here all alone. But when I expressed my doubts to her the day before yesterday she had called me a silly, sentimental teenage girl and told me not to be stupid and to go chase the rainbow or she’ll never bake me pie again.

Mom wasn’t home, yet. She was finishing her last day on her almost ex job. She wasn’t sad to be leaving that company, but she had to finish it all up today. She would probably be home in about 10 minutes.

In the lack of anything merely interesting to do I went out of our apartment and over to Mrs. Higgins’ place earlier than intended. I didn’t knock or ring the bell, I just let myself in. it was a common thing to do.

“Hello? Mrs. Higgins?” I called through the place. It smelled wonderful, vanilla and cinnamon scent mixing with the one of preparing food.

“Kitchen dear.” She called back as I walked into the kitchen. She was baking her lasagna. I loved her lasagna, the best ones I have ever had. Better than the ones you would eat at some 5 star restaurants, I guarantee you.

“Smells wonderful, Mrs. Higgins. You know I love your lasagna.” I smiled.

“I know, I am baking it for you. Plus, I have a little something just for you, too.” She smiled.

“I’m guessing it is a surprise.” I sighed and walked over to the sink to start cleaning the dirty dishes.

“Yes and oh, my. Dear, put that down. I’ll take care of it later.” She chuckled. “If you must you could… set up the table.”

I nodded happy that she let me help for once. Usually she wouldn’t even let me touch a thing while she was cooking. She made me talk to her. That’s how we connected. She would bake and cook while I would talk about my dreams. I think she knew me better than my mom did, better than my friends did. It was this huge trust I had in her that she was a hundred percent supporting me. I took out the plates and set them around the table and put the napkins around. I put a center piece, well in the centre of the table and put down forks and knives. We didn’t need anything else since we were eating lasagnas.

“When are you leaving tomorrow?” She smiled even though I knew she was sad about us leaving.

“When I think of it, I’d rather leave never.” I sighed and let my face fall down.

“I will not repeat what I told you last time darling. You are crazy if you want to stay here when everything you would ever want is there.” She smiled. “And to think you are concerned about old me, more than you are about yourself.” She shook her head as she checked if the lasagnas were done. “I told you, no more pie if you don’t put on a smile and tell old Mrs. Higgins how excited you really are.”

She smiled and clapped her hands as she sat down on a chair in the kitchen, I knew she wanted me to talk. I smiled and sat next to her.

“Well, I am excited. I truly am. But I only realized how much I will miss this place. This building. You. Everything. Your cat. Strudle is the cutes.”

“Oh, there you go again. Have I asked you to tell me about the things you will miss? I don’t recall so. Tell me, what do you think California will be like for you?”

I chuckled. “I won’t fit in, that much I know. I don’t know how we’ll manage school and all. But I do know I will try and work with a good label, mom said she talked to a few people and it’s working out fine. And when I have enough money, I promise I’ll bring you down and you will live with us. If we could afford it I’d do it now, but you know our financial situation isn’t the best at the moment. I mean moving costs so much and… but as soon as I get my first paycheck… you’ll be seeing California sunshine.” I smiled.

“Oh, honey. You don’t have to do that. I am happy here. I like it. And the thing that would make me the happiest is to see you happy. To see your name in all these magazines I read when I go to get my haircut.” She chuckled an stood up to take the lasagna out of the oven seeing it was done. “Oh, here they’re done.” She smiled as she took them out and placed them on the side counter.

“Have I mentioned that those smell delicious?” I smiled.

“I believe so. Oh, that must be your mother.” She said as the door bell went off and we both made our way to the door. “Always so punctual.” She smiled as she saw the clock in the hall saying exactly 6:30. I chuckled to myself, knowing my mom was never the one to be late. I was the one to be either too early or too late, and out of those two, most of the time I chose to be too early.

“Hello, Mrs. Higgins.” My mom greeted and hugged her. “Nice to see you. And may I notice the dinner smells delicious?” My mom grinned.

“Good to see you, too, Lauren. And yes, apparently it does smell wonderful, as your daughter here put it.”

“Hey, mom.” I smiled and gave her a hug. “How was work today?”


She groaned. “I will just say I am happy I am out of there.” She sighed and then let a small smile on her lips. “Shall we eat, I am starving.”

We all laughed as we sat around the table and Mrs. Higgins placed lasagna in the middle, she moved the center piece, the bouquet of yellow flowers, to the side and we all said our grace before ‘digging in’, as my mom put it. The lasagna was delicious, but I never expected anything else. It was a nice atmosphere all along. I enjoyed the small talk the two women were making, but I allowed myself to zone out every once in a while. When we were all finished with our food I put the dishes away even though I was called silly again. Mrs. Higgins was extremely neat person, but she liked to do her own cleaning up.

By 7:30 we had moved to the living room and I was sitting in the huge armchair with Strudel in my lap. Strudel, as Mrs. Higgins creatively called her cat, was extremely big and fat black cat. He wasn’t anything like the other cats. He wasn’t active, he pretty much enjoyed to be in someone’s lap and just to be stroked and petted. If it was his choice I assume he’d stay in my lap forever.

The talk dragged on and on. We talked about all sorts of things, among others my mom talked about this nice label she found that was very willing to fully be committed to one artist only for as long as there is a necessity to be. She said it was the best offer she had come across and Mrs. Higgins agreed. I threw in my plans for Mrs. Higgins moving once I earn enough money and my mom agreed instantly, but of course Mrs. Higgins had to go and say she was happy here, that is until my mom started convincing her she is like a family to us and we wouldn’t want her to be here all alone. She sighed and said something like ‘all in good time, all in good time.’

It was ten o’clock when I walked into the bathroom to brush my teeth and get ready for my last night here. I sighed as I stepped onto our small balcony and looked up at the sky, trying to take in as much air as I could. I found my self not wanting to go away… but I knew I had to. It was really for the best of all. After all… how will I ever climb the rainbow if I don’t chase after it?


02

Mrs. Higgins did have a farewell surprise for me next morning. She baked me a cheese cake and cherry pie. Wishing us a nice trip and telling us not to worry about her she returned inside her apartment as we made our way downstairs. We were travelling by a plane and our personal belongings were all on the road in the moving truck. Airport wasn’t packed this early in the morning and I was grateful. I never really liked crowded places, you know. I enjoyed silence, actually. Silence and being alone.

The plane was full by the time we were boarded. I took the seat next to window seeing as I wasn’t actually afraid of flights and wanted to see how it is to fly. I even had my camera to take some pictures along the way. my iPod was safely in my backpack together with my notebook if inspiration comes while on the plane.

I just shut everything out and put turned on my iPod after we were up in the air and I had already taken a few photos. Soon enough I fell asleep and I woke up when mom shook me awake because we were landing.
LAX airport was packed. Definitely not my spot. We got our luggage and made our way outside. Mom actually rented a car so we drove to our new home in the Los Angeles. How amazing, right? My first impression would be that it was too hot for this part of year. I was used to snow and coldness in this part of year, definitely not this.

We passed through some streets and I was really not affected by the city called Los Angeles. It wasn’t all that glamour everyone would think it was. It was just a huge city… and it happened to have tons of stars in it. But other than those stars there were some normal, regular people living here. I guess that slips people’s minds often. We drove a bit longer and then we reached a nice looking building. It had three floors and 5 apartments in it. our apartment was the biggest in there and on the top floor. The moving truck would be here by 3 pm so that’s when we would get all of our stuff. We sold some but we kept some too, depending on our needs. I guess I didn’t really care about those stuff.

The apartment was nice. I liked it. It was spacey and had a lot of light. Plus it was just the right size for me and mom. I took my bags to my room, or what would soon be my room. There was nothing in it, yet. It was some beige color and I promised to myself I would paint it some other color soon, preferably white. I sighed opening the window and looking outside, it was a sunny day.

“Belle! You want to go out to eat something for lunch?”

“Coming, mom!” I sighed and closed the door to my new room and met up with my mom at the front door.

“Lets concur LA, baby.” She smiled as we made our way down the same stairs we climbed just recently.

We walked around till we actually realized we had Starbucks just five minutes walk from our new place. The neighborhood wasn’t that bad. I liked it. but it wasn’t Seattle. Mom decided to bring out some topic about boys, commenting how cute the boy who passed us on his bike was. She always had a problem with me not dating. She thought it wasn’t good for me. I told her I am not interested in immature boys around my age and I don’t intend on dating just for the sake of it. When and if I date someone I will date that person because I will want to. Because we will have that connection on some higher level that will just pull us closer. Not because it is good form my mental sociality state. Whatever that means. I am just fine on my own and I intend to stay just fine… and on my own.

“So, I want to talk to you about these labels and pursuing your dream.” She begun. “I support you, I do, but you know I don’t want you to get too lost in everything. If I feel like you’re slipping away and having your head too high in the clouds… I am sending you to your dad for a whole year if necessary. Okay? No getting self centered and changing. I want my baby to stay my baby.” She smiled. “And I think I have decided what label would be the best for you, of course. I was going through some major labels that were interested in your work when they heard you, but I wasn’t all excited about it, sure they would love you now, but what if some bigger act came around. Then I though they would not work so hard with you anymore, and you need someone working with you. And I was talking to this fine young man, who owns the label house I want you to sign for, and he said he is ready to work with you for this whole year and if really necessary for the next year too…” She was talking so fast. I had to try extra hard to keep up with her. It was really hard to understand her fully. “… yeah, that’s his name… anyway. I was thinking and I will call him today, when we get all settled in and I will ask when we could have a meeting to finalize things.”

So, I missed the guy’s name. Never mind, apparently I am meeting him soon anyway. Well, it will be good my mom will be there because I am not a social person, as you might have figured out for yourself… already.

“Yeah. It’s okay.” I nodded.

“No opinions. Nothing?” She looked at me and sighed. “Belle, you need to be more sociable. It’s just not gonna work like this. You need to talk to me more. I know you come to me when you have some problem, but that’s a rare situation. I want to be there for you, honey. I know that lately… I’ve been really busy, but I wanted to earn enough money for us to come here and for you to chase that dream.” Chase the rainbow. “I just want the best for you.”

“I know mom. I just don’t enjoy socializing. I prefer being alone. I don’t feel comfortable around new people.” I muttered.

“You have to change that, if you make this dream of yours come true, you’ll be meeting a lot of new people.”

I sighed. “I know. I’m working on it.” I sighed once again. I was never comfortable around new people. It was just this feeling of uncomforting, of being away from the safe zone where all I knew was really familiar and going into some zone where I have no idea how to express myself to leave a good impression. I was also afraid of trusting people, I always had a hard time opening up, even with my own family as you can see. My mom and I have a good relationship, but she still doesn’t know much about me. My dad, well, he knows almost nothing. Kayla, she is good to me, she knows some stuff I don’t tell my mom, as I mentioned before. And probably the highest level of trust is the one I have in Mrs. Higgins. She just struck me as that kind of person and once we started talking and I started opening up, I couldn’t stop.

“Okay, honey. We’ll go home now, because I have a feeling that the moving truck will be here soon.”

As always my mom was right. The moving truck did arrive soon and we had a lot of work with the unloading. It took so long and by the time we were finished it was around 6 pm and it’s an understatement that I was exhausted. But now I could go and lay in my bed and just play some music to relax, while my mom talked to that guy from the label company.

She was right, I really had to work on being more social, but I couldn’t see that happening soon. I have always been an introvert, my whole life. I can’t change just like that, no one changes just like that. It’s impossible. I remembered last summer on my dad’s ranch. Me and nature, Gem of course. Gem was my horse. The most amazing horse you could ever find. Yes it was a he and I called him Gem. Gem is a nice name for a horse, or at least a unique name to begin with. I noticed Gem was different, just like me. He was special.

Anyway, last summer I spent over three weeks at my dad’s because my mom was very busy. It was a rather hot summer and each day I’d ride off with Gem and hang out near some lake. I never swam in it because I was scared, but I did enjoy the coolness it radiated as I sat under this big old tree. I wrote a lot there. I use writing to just rid myself of my feelings and emotions. Or just to have those somewhere organized where I can look at those and think of why I am how I am. I like the way I am, but it’s interesting to read some of the things I write. I write about all sorts of things, love, politics, friendship, world… my opinions and the way I think.

I don’t know what to think of everything around me, I don’t know what’s real or fake, but I am trying to figure life out. Mostly succeeding, though I fail sometimes.

“Honey.” My mom knocked on my door. “Can I come in?”

“Sure.”

She let herself in and sat next to me on the bed. “I’ve spoken to Mr. Jonas and he said he can meet you tomorrow around 5 pm, or on Friday at 2 pm. Whichever is better for you. He thought you may need some time to settle in, but I guess he doesn’t know you’re quite a good accommodator.”

I smiled weakly. “Yeah. I’ll go tomorrow, let him know.” I nodded.

She smiled. “Why don’t you call and tell him, or his assistant. But I think he takes most of the calls.”

“I’d rather not, you’re better at it.” I replied.

“No.” She said sternly. “You will do it.”

I smiled weakly again. “Okay.” I held out my hand for the phone. “What’s the number?”

“It’s on the last dial.” She smiled. “It’s not so hard, Belle. Just call. Be yourself.”

She walked out of the room leaving me with the phone in my hand and a lump in my throat and a knot in my stomach. I typed in the numbers and pressed call.

“Hello, Jonas Production.” A female voice said and I reminded myself to breathe. No nervousness.

“Uhm, hello, I mean…uh, this is… Belle Andrews.”

“Oh, Andrews, Andrews… ah, yes, Belle.” She said. “I’ll redirect the call to Mr. Jonas.”

I waited a few moments as the sound of monotone music filled my ears.

“Hello, Nick Jonas speaking.”

Okay, now I was unable to breath because this was the smoothes, greatest, most appealing sound I have ever heard.

“Hello?” His voice questioned.

“Uhm, it’s Belle, Belle Andrews. My mom, Lauren Andrews called not so long ago and she was given two possible appointments for me to come and talk things through. I would come tomorrow at 5 pm. If that’s okay…”

“Yeah, yeah. Sure.” He chuckled. “Nice to meet you, Belle… and I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

“Yeah… bye.”

“Bye.”

With that I hung up the phone and let out a shaky breath. Never in my whole entire life have I had a conversation this normal, if you could call this normal, with a stranger. Never ever. It wasn’t long till I just drifted away into the land of dreams… completely exhausted by today’s events.

Impressum

Texte: I don't own anything you recognize, but the story line and all of the fictional characters are mine, and therefore I copyrighted the characters I invented. I don't own Jonas Brothers or Nick Jonas, although I'd love to meet them one day.
Tag der Veröffentlichung: 18.03.2010

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I dedicate this to my best friends who always believed in me. :)