Prologue

“Whoa! Sonya check it out!” Felicity Anne Tyler screamed as she ran to get her little sister. The first flowers had just bloomed from their wisteria plant, and Felicity loves wisteria. Sonya loves all types of flowers, so Felicity knows she will want to see the new blossoms. “Oh Lily, their so pretty I like them a lot, do you think Mommy will mind if I pick some?” Sonya burst out. Lily is a nickname given to Felicity when she was really little, her aunts had tried to give her a horrible nickname but Mom saved the day with the nickname Lily, her favorite flower. “Mmmm, I don’t think Mom will mind too much, let’s see what she thinks.” Both the girls run into the house to find their mother and present their new discovery. Of course Mom loves the flowers but reminds Sonya not to pick too many of them.
The girls disappear again, outside into the summer heat. Sonya just had her 8th birthday; she thinks she’s so grown now but she’s still a little girl. Lily will be 11 in the fall. The girls can’t wait to start school. They’ve both been home schooled all their lives, school will be an awesome adventure. This summer will end soon and the new life that awaits them is shining.


Chapter 1
“The Beginning, of the End”

“Oh My Goodness, Sonya why do you always have to take my stuff?!” Lily screamed across the room. “You take my stuff all the time!” Sonya yelled back. The girls had been having the same argument for weeks. One of them is always on the other’s nerves. Why couldn’t they just get along? Lily wished she didn’t argue with her sister but they are so different! Ever since they started school the year before, Sonya had taken a huge turn in her personality. She was now too ‘sophisticated’ for anyone else around her. But Lily isn’t without her faults. She’s so enamored with ‘guys’ that she barely gave Sonya any attention at all, she was too busy gawking over her first crush and hanging with her new best friend Roxy.
On the first day of school Roxy and Lily clicked like two lost pieces of a puzzle. They were practically inseparable. Everywhere Roxy went, Lily went, everywhere Lily went, Roxy was there. They have so many things in common, including their mutual like of Jason he is the same age as Lily, but she’s too intimidating for him to even think about noticing her. Roxy on the other hand, is sweet and cute she has been Jason’s friend for a long time, and there really good friends. Lily and Roxy are now in the 6th grade along with the infamous Jason. The three of them are really good friends and hang out all the time. Roxy and Jason are more on the popular side because everyone knows them, but Lily is still finding her niche in this semi new environment.
At home, life has changed gastronomically. When the girls were home-schooled they’d been so close to each other, but ever sense they started, they’ve grow apart by leaps and bounds. Not to mention Dad started his construction business the same year they started school. Mom is now working as Dad’s secretary so a lot of responsibility has fallen to Lily. Stress is running rapid in the Tyler family.


~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Roxy, I’ve been thinking maybe I should try out for the girls’ soccer team, what do you think?” Lily had been wondering about it for awhile, she’d asked a few of her guy friends but they gave negative responses. “I wish I could just do something fun and it not matter who’s watching, I’m tired of caring what others think”. Lily thought to herself. But she still had to ask her best friend opinion on the matter.

“Well the soccer team seems to have fun, if it’s something you’re really interested in go for it.” Roxy knew this question was coming so she’d already thought of her answer. Roxy doesn’t really enjoy playing sports as much as she like cheering on the team playing, but she was going to leave her biased thoughts out of it. “Lily really needs to start making her own decisions and stop trying to fit in so hard, gosh! ... actually you know what I’m going to tell her that right now.” Lily had been speaking throughout Roxy’s thoughts, “… and maybe I should drop my art class.” “Lily, why do you have to try and do everything? Can’t you just be content to hang out and have fun with your friends? What’s got you all into soccer now? You don’t even like soccer, and all those chicas are really mean! I mean come on; you love the art department, why would you drop it anyway?” Roxy had finally gotten out her thoughts. It felt good to make Lily actually think about her latest actions.

Lily just stood there looking shocked that Roxy had confronted her like that; she knew she had been getting on her nerves a little but she couldn’t help it. She wasn’t happy; all she wanted to do was try something new. “…I don’t know it just seemed interesting….” Lily faded out. Her friend let out a loud sigh. “Girl come on, your great just chill out and do what you love. You enjoy art class and your music is coming great, maybe you should focus on that instead of trying to “try” every new thing.”
She is right, but dang I mean she can be happy with everything it’s like she’s never stressed out, but she’s right…I’ll just chill out and hang out. Maybe I can just be positive and things will get better.” “Okay Roxanne, again you’re right, I’ll calm down, hey maybe we can hang out this Sabbath, maybe go to the springs?” The girls had been walking to their last classes while talking and now it was time to split before they were late. “Mmm, I’ll ask my mom, would you want to bring Jason along?” Ew not Jason again, I don’t want to be bothered by thoughts of IT.” “I’d prefer it was just us… if you don’t mind?” Lily said, trying not to sound annoyed by the thought of him. “Okay well I’ll ask mom, I’m sure she’ll say yes.”

“Okay later, thanks for setting me straight.” Lily exclaimed, and she was happy now. “No problem, what are friends for anyway?” “Yea, yea, whatever talk to you later!” “Bye!” and they took off for, Social Studies and English.


Chapter 2
“Mr. Jock”

“Did you guys see that? It was an amazing touch down! He snatched that ball right out of the McGee’s reach!” Jason was practically red with excitement over the Jaguar’s interception. “Yes! We heard you the first time you said it, you over excited baboon!” Lily said exasperated at Jason for repeating himself once again, she loved football, enjoyed playing the game and watching it, but Jason was on her last nerve. Why couldn’t he just chill out. Man why’s everything have to be over expressed with him!
“Gee Lil, why you “tripin” I’m just having some fun, dang cheer up, you’ve been a downer this whole time.” Jason said, kind of annoyed at Lily too.
The gang had been hanging out at Jason’s house to work on a science project due on Monday, but if you can’t already tell they had gotten side tracked by one of the many Sunday games showing on ESPN.
“Guys would you both chillax, we’re supposed to be working on the lemon battery anyway, we all got side tracked and now we need to get focused on the real work at hand.” Roxy said with her usual air of authority.
“Oh yea, leave it to the “oh so powerful” Roxanna to spoil the fun, what are you girls conspiring against me?” Jason said playfully, he was already over Lily’s remark.
“No, we’re not “conspiring” against you, but honestly can you not settle down? And girl your right we need to get back to work, my teams’ losing anyway.” Lily said with a fake nonchalance as she got up and walked to the table holding their project. Roxy was soon to follow still trying to get the butt head to move, but he was still into his game, especially since his team was winning.
“I don’t understand what draws guys into sports so much; can’t he look away for a minute? We really need to get this done.” Roxy said perplexed at Jason’s lack of responsibility.
“Well I’ll tell you exactly what it is, he’s in a room filled with estrogen and all he wants is something that fills his testosterone.” Lily said, proud for remembering the terms their science teacher had used a month ago to explain the difference in males and females.
“Well I don’t care this is important. Jason, get up right now! We’re not going to do this project for you!”
“Fine Mother, this game is getting lame anyway.” The group worked on their project for another hour snacking on hot pockets and coke now and then. Jason’s mom, walked in later, she’d been reading in the back yard letting the kids do their thing.
“How’s the project coming? Did Jason actually help?”
“Hey Mrs. Russell!” both the girls chimed at the same time.
“Yes he’s helping but only when it comes to feeding us.” Lily said teasing Jason on his constant comments on their “hunger” situation.
“Yea, we’ve had hot pockets and coke so far, and he’s offered potato chips three times already!” Roxy said, in total agreement.
“Well gee guys; I helped draw the title on the board! And I connected the copper plates to the chords, so I did help! But cut me some slack, I’m hungry.” He was grumbling now, and it was hilarious, he’s such a big baby. Later that evening the girls said good bye and took the project to Roxy’s house. Her mom was once an earth science teacher; she would help them put some final touches on the project. When everything was completed Lily went home and the day was done. Monday was on the brink.


~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The Lemon Battery came in second in the county science fair. They received a nice sized ribbon and would have the project displayed at the school for the next year. Everyone was excited and went out for ice cream afterward. Since the Science fair, there had been the last two weeks of school and now everyone was out for the summer!


Chapter 3
“Bad News, Too Soon”

(On the phone)

“I’m so happy school is finally out, but I’m already bored. We need to hang out! Maybe we can go to the park?” Lily said ready for anything that meant getting out of the house. .
“Oh, I don’t…” Roxy had started to say when she heard a little voice in the back ground. “Lily get off the phone I want to use it!” Sonya yelled from the other room. “Baby sisters are so annoying. Hold on Roxy, Sonya I had the phone first and I’m talking to Roxy, I’ll be off when I’m off leave me alone. Now what were you saying girl?” Lily finished.
“Oh, I was saying, I don’t know Rachel isn’t home anymore and mom doesn’t want me going anywhere without her or Sabina.” Roxy stated. She wanted out just as much as Lily but she wouldn’t break the rules.
“Man Hispanic mothers can be so strict, don’t they remember being young? I just want to go have a good time. I wish my dad was home he’d take us to the park.” The pout was evident in Lily’s voice.
“Yeah, well he isn’t home so stop crying over it.” Frustrated, Roxy was trying to figure out a way to tell Lily that she was transferring schools, but didn’t know how to and here is her friend pouting over not going to the park. She has a lot of growing up to do Roxy thought. “I’m sorry Roxy; I did know I was aggravating you…”
“Oh you’re not; I’m just being a pain. Hey let me call my mom and maybe she’ll let us meet up, I mean you’re only down the street it’s a short walk.”
“OK… do you want to three-way her? I won’t say anything, just don’t want to hang up.”
“No problem let me call and I’ll flash back over.”
While Roxy was dialing her mom, Lily started to think, she really liked Jason but maybe if she decided to treat him just like a friend there would be more of a chance with him…Maybe this year, I can get close enough to him in a friend type of way that he won’t even realize he likes me!

“Hey mom.” …Oh that means Mrs. Nadia is on the phone. …”Lily, and I want to hang out to day, do you think we could meet up, she’s only down the road and I’ll be extra safe mama?” Roxy was practically begging her mother but it was okay.
“Roxanna Elaine, what have I told you… you know what I’ve said I don’t want you walking by yourself?” Mrs. Nadia wasn’t going to give in easily.
“But mama, please, we’re so bored and I’m the only one home! I promise we’ll meet up and go straight to the park…” Roxy was really hoping her desperate voice would help plead their case. “Roxy… baby….if you go, listen you better not do anything careless and if you get hurt so help me, I will beat your hide!” Mrs. Nadia relented… “Oh mama, thank you so much, I love you thank you mommy!!!” the girls were ecstatic even if Lily, couldn’t so much as laugh or they’d get caught. They got off the phone and ran to get their shoes.

Roxy had only walked a little distance when she saw Lily. The girl was bony, absolutely no figure, Roxy would know, she had two older sisters, who had a “figure” and she herself was already blossoming into a young flower. Lily was still stuck in the I’m a little tom-boy phase. When would she grow out of that? Honestly it was not fitting; she was still pretty, even if she had that horrible grin spread across her features. She took off running. Oh no! Roxy thought, please don’t let her tackle me!!! But Lily wasn’t stopping anytime soon, then “BAM” right into Roxy, Lily flew.
“Grief girl, you think you’d have the grace to hug me properly!” Lilly exclaimed breathlessly. She was a little tired from her sprint but she wasn’t out of energy at all.
“Well, Lilly, you just practically ran me over, did you really expect me to be thinking out your hug!” Roxy wasn’t so happy about the greeting she just had, but she still kept some humor in her voice. “Sorry, I was just excited.” Lily wasn’t really sorry, she was happy that her “tackle” had its perfect effect. The two little ladies dusted off and continued their walk to the park. When they reached their destination the both went straight to the swings. They weren’t really into slides anymore, those were for babies, and they were mature 12 year olds'.

Lily watched Roxy swing curiously, Roxy seemed like she had something on her mind but she wasn’t sharing. I wonder what’s wrong; she never keeps anything from me. Lily thought, Maybe I should ask…no maybe not it’s her business. Lily continued to swing without saying a word but Roxy’s silence was on Lily’s mind.

“I have to tell you something…and it’s not a good something.” Roxy finally blurted, she’d been trying to start this conversation but no words had left her sealed lips until now. She almost regretted the action already. Lily had stopped swinging and was fully facing her. Great the one time Lily has to give someone her undivided attention is now! Roxy thought irritably. OK so I just need to get on with it before she starts to ask questions I’m not ready for.
“Okay Lily, here it is… man this really sucks, but uh, um...”
“Spit it out Roxanna!” Lilly blurted, she seemed a little panicky.
“I’m not going to our school next year! My parents are transferring me because it cost too much. I won’t get to see you…” Roxy watched Lily’s face; she seemed to draw into herself just a bit. Then she slowly started to move on the swing, making it rock slowly.
“So…I guess we won’t get to hang out too often then…” Lily stated, almost like it was a fact, she was sort of quiet, taking in every detail of what this new information meant.
“I know it sucks, I wish that I didn’t have to leave but it’s not really my choice.” Roxy was trying to make things smoother.
“Oh I know it’s not your fall girl, we’ll just have to find other times to hang out, like weekends, and maybe Christmas break and things.” Lily said, trying to be cheerful. She didn’t want to ruin their day because Roxy was transferring. She still had other friends; none of them were Roxy though. The seventh grade already seemed bleak, and neither of them had even started it yet.
“Yeah, this stupid situation will not be the end of us, no way! We can find ways around anything!” Roxy said half-halfheartedly. But neither of them was too “halfhearted” anymore.

The rest of the girls time spent at the park were discussing when they would hang out, and how every week they’d call each other. They were adamant about not losing their friend ship. Nothing would come between them; they made a pact that day, in the simple park, on the swings.


~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Lily walked home, rather sad, they weren’t allowed to stay at the park after dark so when the sun started to fade they said their goodbyes and headed home. Lily didn’t really understand everything about Roxy not attending the school anymore. They had been in private school for two years together and now Roxy was leaving. How would she handle this, Roxy had been the only girl in her grade that she got along with, the only won that didn’t care if she was a tom-boy and preferred sports over shopping. Great, she thought now I have to try and start over…I wish Roxy wasn’t leaving… she couldn’t change the truth though, so she would have to face it. Next year would be a little hard but she could hand anything. She would stick to her plan to be “only” friends with Jason, and to be “one of the guys”. That would make up for her lost time with her best friend.

Roxy had done what she needed to, but that didn’t lift any of the weight on her shoulders. She had been to public school before, but wasn’t looking forward to returning. She would miss her friend. All the quirks and everything, the crazy way she did everything, and the loudness of her Hispanic self. Oh she would miss her. She’d make sure Jason kept her straight and didn’t tease her too much, because that simply wouldn’t do. We agreed to write letters, and talk on the phone. I really hope it’s enough. We will have to plan sleepovers and outings that we can go on together. It will all work out…. God, please help my friend ship with Lily, and help her to get to know you better. We might both be Christians but I’m not sure she’s as close to you as she needs to be. Thank you Lord. Roxy had just did something major on Lily’s behalf even if she didn’t realize it, but one day she would know.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The rest of summer flew by and the two best friends really didn’t get to hang out that often. They had planned a few sleepovers and they actually happened, but the dawning school year was every present in their minds.
They would be in spate school leading two separate lives, only hoping for the harmony they had, had their fifth and sixth grade years.


Chapter 4
“The School Year begins”

“Hey Lilly, nice to see you, you haven’t changed much over the summer.” That voice… oh no…. Robert Smith. Great he was so annoying last year! Why does he have to be the first one to spot me! “Oh, Hey Robby, I didn’t see you, you’ve grown a little…” Lily stated trying to sound happy to see him. Robert was a year younger than her and had been a thorn in Lily’s side since she started school in the fifth grade.
“Haha, a little I’ve grown a whole inch and a half! That is not a little bit.” Robert said trying to sound like a man.
“Yeah you’re something else, shoot; you don’t look like you’ve grown.” Lily said, now definitely showing her aggravation with him. That’s when he walked up, now he had defiantly grown, grief he was like a whole foot taller than Lily, oh my, his eyes, his hair, grief his height! He’s gorgeous! Lily thought staring up at Jason who had just appeared like some angle straight from hell, she hadn’t seen him but expected to, and now, here he was all56 foot10 glory of him. Oh I will not think this anymore! FRIENDS! FRIENDS! She was able to snap out of her insane thoughts long enough to actually greet him.
“Hi, Jason… wow, you’re really tall.” Lily said as she mentally kicked herself for the lame greeting, but he replied smoothly.
“Hey Lily, you haven’t, but it’s still nice to see you… even from all the way up here.” He said making a joke which actually kind of stung, even in all its lameness, but she laughed anyway.
“Well down here isn’t so bad if I have you know, at least I don’t look like a speckled giraffe.” Lily said smartly, it wasn’t the cleverest thing to come up with but he shut up none the less.
I really hope the rest of the year doesn’t turn out like this first day. Lily sighed to herself, time to make amends before the real weapons are drawn.
“Okay, so it’s just us this year, friends?” Lily let out her hand to initiate a handshake. Jason just looked at her like she was someone else for a second and then agreed. “Yeah, there’s no point in not.” Jason stated nonchalantly.
“Oh and sorry Robby, I shouldn’t have reacted like that.” Lily replied trying to smooth things over with an almost arch enemy.
“Yea we’re cool, as long as your admitting it was your fault.” Robby said, knowing it was annoying her. The blood cooled just a little in her veins and she replied “It wasn’t my fault you were born, but I’ll take the blame for the latest dispute.” That was enough to really get his ego, but he’d never admit that it did. He just smirked and walked away.

The rest of the day went by quickly, Lilly hung out with Jason at lunch and they played a little catch with his new football. He had taught her how to throw a foot ball in the 5th grade and now she was almost as good as him. He kept reminding her that she never would be though. After lunch they had three more classes that basically ran over what the year would be like.
At the end of school they said goodbye and Jason convinced Lilly, to lay off Robby, it would make the year less horrible.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Later the same day, Roxy called Lilly to tell her all about her first day. It turns out Roxy had a better first day that Lilly, all of her old friends from the fourth grade were in her classes and she was signed up for chorus and art classes. Lilly told her about her day and they both agreed that it sucked. But to make the most of it they left that subject alone.
They would be hanging out that Sabbath because Roxy had convinced her mom to let her go to Lilly’s church, which would smooth over a long week. Until then, Lilly would be dealing with her disdain for Robby, and her irrefutable crush on Jason. Life was good.


After school Jason and Robby went to Jason’s house. His mom wouldn’t be home so they could chill in peace. Robby’s parents were busy so he’d be free for awhile. The guys just say there for awhile not saying anything just looking around and lounging on the sofa when Robby pipes up. “Hey Jay, that game we had going was pretty hot wasn’t it?”
“Oh yea, it was good. You saw that awesome interception I had?” Jason asked enthusiastically.
“Yea man it was pretty cool, you jumped like three feet in the air!” Robby didn’t really want to talk about Jason’s achievements in football, but that’s all they had to talk about currently.
“You know maybe I should join a team. Share my talent with other people, I mean that’s what Jesus would do.” The superiority is Jason’s voice was sickening. How one person can be so conceited? Robby thought. Maybe I should change the subject before this becomes a head ache.
“Yeah I think I should join a team, they could really use this skill, ha, and I could probably even help the coach!” Jason continued on, he was totally in his own self glorified world. “You know Jay, there’s flag football teams centered around Jesus and being Christ- Like maybe you should join since you want to share your “skills”. Robby said emphasizing that Jason wasn’t being a true Christian. Jason didn’t get the drift though, he continued on in his reveling.
“You know, Damington High has a good football team, maybe I should join. I mean I’d be an amazing running back, and I could even try for quarterback.” Jason excitedly said. “Damington High…you’ve been in private school your whole life. What makes you think you’re ready for the switch?” Robby burst out. His frustration was mounting. I’m ready to go home this idiot is on my last nerve. “Gee Robby settle down, it’s a high school I’m in the seventh grade, and I have plenty of time to think it over. Okay, it’s not your business anyway. I can’t stand Mrs. James and that’s a main reason I can’t wait to leave.” Jason’s defense was accurate; Mrs. James was a rather annoying teacher that didn’t mean he needed to leave though. “Whatever Jay, you’re right it’s not my business and I’m glad it isn’t.” Robby was finished talking to Jason he just wanted to go home. “Hey Robby, you know how you were talking about the flag football teams? Maybe we should sign up for that?” this was Jason’s idea of an apology for his selfishness.
“Well we could, the sign up sheet is at the Methodist church down Duval Street.” Robby wasn’t really interested in signing up but he could tell Jason was trying to be nice so he’d play along for awhile.
“Cool, how bout Monday?”
“Sure, if you’re really interested…..” the doubt was evident in Robby’s statement.
“Oh yea man, it’ll be great, flag will get us ready for the real thing.” Jason was starting to steer towards their previous topic and Robby wasn’t having that.
“Hey, uh I’m bored; you want to play God of War?” “Hahaha are you ready for me to kick your butt into the next millinium with my nasty, sick, ninja cunningness.” Jason added, in all arrogance. Robby was at this point annoyed to no end, but couldn’t help but laugh for Jason’s insane stupidity. In an effort to change the subject he had just made a huge mistake, Jason was king, at that game and always reminded Robby of it. “Dang, I don’t want to hear anymore of his bragging today!!!” Robby thought as he went to get the controls.


Later when Mrs. Russell came home and Robby left, Jason went to his room. He sat on his bed for a minute, no real thoughts running through his minds. But then curiosity struck him. “Why was Robby so…anal today? It’s like he didn’t want to be hanging around me.” He thought. “Did I do something?” as if someone was speaking to him he heard a voice. “You have an “I” problem.” Jason was stunned, “Where in the world did that come from!” he still hadn’t said anything but the voice in his head had been so real as if it heard him….could it be God? The voice didn’t say anything else, it was gone. Jason sat there again, wondering what the voice...God had meant. “An “I” problem? That doesn’t make sense, I don’t have an “I” problem, I’m perfectly fine. There hasn’t been someone as nice and devoted as…Oh… I’m so sorry Lord, I have been so full of myself…God help me to change. I don’t want to be a selfish person... Amen.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

God today has been a rough day. Help me to fit in Lord. Um I know I don’t pray very often, but I’m really sincere. I’ll try and get consistent. Just please lend me a hand. Amen. That night Lily went to bed not knowing all the crazy things headed her way, but she was content that God would take care of.


Chapter 5
“Adventure in Our Mist”

The school year was going great; Lil and Sonya hadn’t had an argument in over two weeks and were steadily getting closer to each other. Sonya had a new best friend named Yvette; Yvette was a shy little girl but really sweet.
Lily and Roxy hadn’t got to hang out as much or talk on the phone so they were planning several outings with each other. Lily would be turning 13 in two months and Roxy soon after her. Both the girls couldn’t wait to become official teenagers! Mrs. Nadia was taking Roxy and Lily to the park while she went shopping. They would have a great time hanging out sense they hadn’t been able to in a whole month.
“I’m so glad your mom asked my mom if I could come with y’all today.” Lily said
“Oh it was all my idea, I figured we could hang out while mom went shopping, she always goes shopping on Sundays.”
“Well thanks; I’d probably be home bored if she hadn’t called. Sonya is having Yvette over, and even though she’s nice they’re still annoying.”
“Yep no problem, we needed to hang out.
The girls continued chatting while Mrs. Nadia was driving them over to the park. The ride wasn’t very long, 30 minutes later they were being instructed on safety while they were there. “No talking to strangers, remember you are both young ladies, and please, please be safe I don’t want any scraped knees when I get back.” Mrs. Nadia said, she was smiling but both girls knew she was serious. “Yes ma’am” they echoed at the same time “Jinx” they said again, and then rushed to knock on wood. Roxy beat Lily to it so Lily wasn’t aloud to speak till Roxy said her name.
“Bye mom, love you!” Roxy yelled from a tree. “Bye girls have fun!” Lily waved and Roxy screamed her thanks again.
“Hahahaha, you can’t talk!” Roxy said, in a taunting voice. Lily didn’t care she ran off.
“Lily wait, I’m just kidding!” Roxy yelled behind her. She skidded to a stop and turned around with a huge smile on her face.
“Hehehehe, now who’s laughing you said my name! You messed up your won jinx!” Lily laughed as she said it, Roxy had actually fallen for the bait, this was a once in a life time thing.
“Junk, OK so fin you can talk but I’ll get you again.” Roxy licked out her tongue and they both ran for the swings.
The girls had been talking and swinging in the park for a half hour when Jason and Robbie rode up on their bikes. As if the guys had on special glasses or something they immediately spotted the girls swinging and started for them. “Hey Jason, we can sneak up on the from behind the swing set by those trees and scare them.” Mischievous tendency laced Robbie’s comment.
“Okay let’s go!” Jason said. They both stalked towards the girls, they weren’t very stealthy either because Lily and Roxy jumped up and said “Hey Guys!” right before the boys made it to the edge of the swings. This action actually scared Jason and Robbie more than they could have dream of scaring the girls. Giggles of laughter exploded from each girl as the boys jumped back and fell with shock.
“That’s what you get for trying to sneak up on us.” Lily said indignation ever present.
“Yea, next time you’ll be gentlemen and walk up nicely.” Superiority always laced Roxy’s words but now she sounded like a small queen. The guys got up and brushed off; Robbie was the first one to say anything.
“Whatever, you wouldn’t have heard us coming if it wasn’t f or big foot over here.”
“Hey now, you’re the one with absolutely no skills what so ever!” Jason said defensively.
“Actually” Lily cut in, “You both were very loud and we could hear your laughter from the other side of the parking lot.” This was a huge exaggeration but it didn’t matter the point was taken.
They all decided to swing for awhile and then went to the marry-go-around. Since Jason was the tallest and quite stronger than the rest he swung them around and then hopped on. The sat on the spinning disk holding on very tightly so they wouldn’t fly off. It was a lot of fun. Roxy enjoyed talking to the two guys; she didn’t see them as often as Lily did so even if they were mildly obnoxious it was fun. The girls were only at the park for an hour and a half when Mrs. Nadia picked them up. They said good bye to the guys and left. Lily and Roxy went to Roxy’s house and played until Mrs. Tyler came and got Lily. They wouldn’t see each other again for a year.


~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The school year flew by and before they knew it school was almost over.
“Only two months left before summer, I wonder where our end of the year field trip will be.” Jason said to Lily. They’d been hanging out a lot; there were four of them, Jason, Robbie, Daniel and Lily. Yes three guys and one girl. Daniel was older than the other three but since he was like a borderline nerd no one really hung out with him. This little clique let him in willingly. They’d all been great friends for about five months of school and were generally always together. Jason had begun to like hanging out with Lily, she was no longer that short annoying little stick. No she had grown a lot. She was starting to fill out and Jason seemed to be the only one to notice. Robbie was always off in his little world but at the same time always hanging out with the other three guys.
“Oh I heard we’re going to Typhoon Lagoon Disney!” Lily said, her voice had changed from the little girl squeal to a more mature sultry tone.
“Really? Isn’t that like a water park?”
“Yep it sure is, and you guys are riding every ride with me. I refuse to be told I’m going by myself so be prepared!” Lily absolutely loves water rides, and roller-coaster so this theme park would be the best ever! This was something that guys had no problem with; most girls wouldn’t want to ride all the rides so taking Lily along would be fun. They were all excited about the trip. It would be the highlight of their year a start a chain of events that would change Lily’s life permanently.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

After the end of the year trip Jason did something really speratic. He asked Lily out. She’d had a crush on him for so long that she said yes before she even thought the word. For that last week of school they had been inseparable, and now they had been “boy friend and girl friend” for a whole month. Lily was a little clingy when it came to Jason. She didn’t get jealous but she constantly wanted to talk to him. He didn’t like this so much but since he liked talking to her he would call when he felt like talking.
Jason would be going on a mission trip to Arizona for two weeks and he needed to tell Lily. They hadn’t spoken yet that week but then again it was only Wednesday. He knew if he didn’t call Lily she’d soon call him, so he picked up the phone and dialed her cell.
He listened while the phone ring and then a cheerful Lily answered. “Hey! You called me! What’s up?” she spouted off. It was very apparent she had jumped when her phone rang. He liked her but… she was becoming annoying.
“Hey, I don’t know I just wanted to talk to you. So I called.” He said, trying to sound as happy as she obviously was.
“Aw, that’s so sweet, thanks I wanted to talk to you too, but didn’t know if I should call.”
“Oh, well my dad is sleeping so I’m glad you didn’t.”
“Yeah I suspected that, so how are you what’s up?”
“Um, nothing really, I was volunteering at the put-put station at camp.”
“Really? Did you have fun?”
“Eh, it was kind of boring.”
“Are you sure? You had fun last time?”
“Well… there was one thing, promise you won’t get mad though…”
“Hahaha I promise, nothing you do ever upsets me.”
“Okay, well these girls came by the gold area and well they kinda stayed there flirting for awhile… but I said I wasn’t interested in the one girl said we should hang out, so don’t worry.”
“That’s nice, and I wasn’t worried I know you’re a good guy and you’re handsome so girls are going to flirt.” Lily had lied just a little, she didn’t like those other chicks were hitting on “her guy” but then again there wasn’t anything she could do about it so she’d just pretend it didn’t bother her.
“Hey honey…?”
“Yes…” Lily said she had been just a tad side-tracked with her own thoughts that whatever Jason had been saying she didn’t hear him.
“Well what do you think?
“Um… about what?”
“My mission trip, I finished fund raising and I’ll be gone for two weeks starting next Tuesday.”
Lily froze… she didn’t say anything for a second then lied again. “That’s great I’m so happy for you, you’re leaving Tuesday though?” she really wasn’t happy at all, now she knew she wouldn’t see anymore of him. Two weeks... gee they’d be headed back to school a week after that, and then everything would be weird.
“Yep two weeks spent in Arizona building a church.” Jason said enthusiastically, he thought Lily was happy for him, so the undertone of everything she said never registered in his small almost 14 year old mind. See he was happy because while on this trip he wouldn’t have to call her or worry about her calling him, he wouldn’t have to worry about what he said or how long she’d want to hang out. He’d be free for two weeks.
“I guess we won’t be talking for those two weeks then.” Lily said she tried to sound okay with that but she just couldn’t pull it off, and Jason still didn’t get it.
“Nope, I don’t have a cell phone so I don’t think I’ll be able to call.” He knew he could use a counselor’s phone but he wouldn’t tell her that.
“Okay well we’ll just hang out when you get back, call me before you leave okay?” Lily was a little anxious but Jason agreed.
They stayed on the phone talking for another hour before Jason said he had to go. When they hung up Lily didn’t hear from Jason again. He never called before he left.


Chapter 6
“All Good Things Must Come to an End”

Jason had a great time in Arizona he learned all kinds of knew things and enjoyed the time he spent with the other kids his age there. He only thought of Lily at night when everything was quiet. He missed her but he still wanted to be free of her so he wouldn’t call. Every day was the same, work, work, work, and then work some more. At the end of the day they would play games and sing songs. They would eat there dinner and head for bed, and Lily would pop up again. On Sabbath they held a service just for youth and the kids who came to help with the mission trip would lead the service. He felt drawn closer to God. This was good for him.

Lily on the other hand, didn’t do much the two weeks Jason was gone. She thought about him everyday and missed him a lot. She did her usual chores and went out side to walk around but still didn’t do much of anything. She went to work with her mom a few times but that definitely wasn’t fun. She did read several books and discovered she was a pretty good reader. But she thought about Jason more than she possibly thought about anything else. She couldn’t wait to see him when school started again and knew he could wait to see her, or so she thought.


~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Lily knew what day Jason would be back in town but she decided not to call him. She figured when he wanted to talk to her he’d call. She waited two whole days knowing that he would pick up the phone and call but he didn’t. Finally the third day before she went to bed she’d had enough. She grabbed her cell phone and dialed his number. His mom answered the phone on the fourth ring in a cheery voice. “Russell’s house.” She said. “Hi Mrs. Russell its Lily, how are you?”
“Oh hey Lily, I’m just fine, you want’n to talk to Jason?”
“Yes ma’am, is he available?”
“He sure is just wait a sec while I get him.”
Lily waited for a little bit and then heard him, he answered with a questioning, “Hey” like he didn’t know who had called or didn’t expect the person who had called.
“Hi, it’s Lily…” she trailed off, listening. She thought to her self, “Gee his voice has gotten deeper, in only two week, so weird?”
“I know, I uh I missed you Lily. Sorry I haven’t called I’ve been really busy.” “Yea right he’d been busy, doing what? Playing video games? He couldn’t find some time to at least say he was alive!” Lily was getting mad now, he sounded as if he truly didn’t care.
They continued talking for fifteen minutes. In that time he told her about his trip and how he’d been one of t he music leaders. That he really liked guitar and would probably try and take lessons. She listened studiously and tried not to think about all the opportunities he’d had to talk to her and all the times he mentioned his friends who talked to everyone while they were gone. She thought maybe he didn’t realize just how bad he was making her feel, but she stayed silent not saying anything until he said the three worst words a male can every say. “I’ve been thinking…” now she knew something was up. She sat very still and prepared herself for what she could almost hear coming next.
“What have you been thinking about?” she asked quietly…
“Well, I’ve been thinking that…” there were those words again. “Well maybe we shouldn’t go out anymore…Because well my mom says we’re too young and I think it’d be best if we were just friends.” He stopped speaking. She was quiet, but managed a small “oh” and then was quiet again. She knew it was coming but wanted to believe it wouldn’t. “He had been such a nice guy why was he doing this!” she heard him stop breath for a second and then let out a sigh.
“You’re not mad right?” he asked, trying to convince himself it seemed.
“Oh, um no I’m not mad, if your mom thinks we’re too young, then she’s probably right.” She was holding back the few tears that had sprang to her eyes. She’d never cried over a guy before, and where tears were concerned she never really ever cried. But this, this hurt and she was fighting for some control.
“Oh that’s great I’m glad you agree. So then um, yea friends?” he said, he knew she had to be sad he could hear it in the softness of her voice, the way all excitement had left her. But he couldn’t take it back now.
“Yea…friends.” She said back, she barely got it out and the tears started to flow. No sound just tears.
“Okay, well, good. Um Hey Lily it’s late and I have a big day tomorrow. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Okay… night Jason. Bye.” This was the first time Lily ever just said bye to Jason usually they chatted a little longer and then finally hung up but this time she just said bye and pressed end on the phone.

Lily laid in bed still and quiet for a long time, she didn’t know how much time even passed but throughout it tears flowed and no sound left her lips. After this time passed she sat up very quickly, and was shocked by the dizziness that engulfed her. She waited while it cleared and then vowed never to cry over another guy again. She swore to herself right then that no matter what tears wouldn’t be in the equations. No boy or man was worth the trouble. She got up and walked to the bathroom. As she looked in the mirror she saw that her face was slightly swollen and her eyes bloodshot. She blew her nose, washed her face and walked back to her room. She climbed back into bed a prayed, “Lord, let your will be done in my life and take away some of the stupidity that is me for ever thinking that boy was worth my time…and Lord why did I ever go out with him. Give me an answer when you finally get my message. Amen” She closed her eyes and was accompanied by sleep before she finished her angry thoughts towards Jason Russell.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~


Lily didn’t speak to Jason for the rest of the summer, on the first day of school she ignored his existence. When he picked the seat right behind her she pretended she had no clue. When he spoke to her she was a cold type of polite, as if they were strangers. She hadn’t gotten over him no, but the hurt was still fresh. This was the first time she’d ever been dumped and the first t time she’d ever had a real boyfriend, the pain really wasn’t gone yet.
He didn’t say much to her either, he still liked her but as he looked at the hurt in her eyes he had no words. He wanted to apologize but his ego got in the way. He was scared of her rejection and he was scared that she’d hate him. The first week back at school she barely spoke five words to him. The second week she said maybe five sentences. She wasn’t cold in the way that is heartless but she was cold in the way that really lets a person know emotions for them are there but they have been steamed into a hot furry.
The first month of school she did a good job of making Jason feel horrible about him self. But something changed as the second month started and his birthday neared. She started to let some of the animosity for him slide away. She remembered how they’d always been friends and hung out together and she supposed that even if he no longer wanted anything to do with her she could try for friends again, after all he had said they could still be friends. Jason had stopped trying to speak to her because it was like speaking to a soulless creature, no emotion showed on her anymore, he was about to be shocked.
“Hi Jason…” Lily had said quietly, they still sat together, or in front and behind each other. Jason looked up as if he was shocked Lily could even speak. He sat there quiet for a second just staring at her and then said, “Hi…Lily.” In his own quiet voice, she smiled and it lit up her face. She didn’t do a lot of smiling where he was concerned, this was really shocking. She sat for a second and then did the most obscene thing a girl ever does.
“Jason…I’m sorry I’ve been ignoring you…and trying very hard to make you feel bad. I shouldn’t have let our… um, friendship go the way I did. Can you forgive me?”
There was a huge aching silence as Jason sat there. He couldn’t believe she was talking to him and really couldn’t believe she’d just apologize for being mad at him over his stupid mistake! He didn’t know what to do, he searched her eyes and saw a pleading look in them. She was trying to be his friend again at the expense of her own pride. He opened his mouth, and finally said. “Of course I forgive you, we’re all good.” He wouldn’t say that he had been wrong or that he was sorry, he had his manly dignity to think of so he decided shrugging the apology off as if they were good ole friends would work just fine.
Lily had known not to expect him to say he was sorry but at the same time was a tony bit shocked he didn’t.
“Okay, well um that’s good. Friends, that’s nice.” She said, trying to make semi light conversation even though now she just wanted to turn around and ignore him again. He made that last bit very easy.
“Well um, unless you need help with Algebra, we should probably get back to work before Mrs. James tells us to hush.”
They looked at each other for a little longer and Lily agreed and turned around. She wished she could burry her face in her hands but knew he was still staring at her back. She decided to pretend everything was fine.

The school year kept progressing and by the time Thanks Giving came around Jason and Lily had become friends. Not nearly as close as the used to be but they were at a place where comfort was held. They never spoke about there summer and they avoided anything that had to do with relationships, at least when they were in the same room. Besides that they were good. He would still compliment her on everything sports related, but never on if she looked pretty or her hair was nice. The pretty much did the same nothing that would spark them was said.

In the other realm of Lily’s life she was getting plenty of attention from another male, Tristan, a tall 17 year old who attended her church. He had gone to her church for several years but they had never really spoken to each other. They had different styles in friends. One day after Lily’s piano lesson, her teacher asked her to call Tristan because they were to do a piano duet together. Lily didn’t really know him but asked anyway. Texting was a huge thing and that’s all he ever really did. Lily text but not that much so her first text was:
“Hi Tristan, this is Lily. Mrs. Evens wants us to do a piano duet together, are you interested?” Yes she wrote every word out and wanted to seem smart to him. They’d never had any kind of friend ship but she would make a good impression. A few minutes later came hi reply.
Tristan: Uh, sure, i aint asked no 1 yet. Cool.
Mrs. Evens told her that they would have to do lots of practicing together, they needed to schedule a set time for practice.
Lily: Mrs. Evens wants us to practice once a week, do you have a day you would want to?
Tristan: Im good on wed.
Lily: Wednesday then?
Tristan: Yeah WED, dat’s wat I said.
Lily: oh ok, well um cool. Byes!
Tristan: holla atcha l8r.

And that was the end of there very first conversation. Tristan had lead a very different life than Lily, he’d been born in Brooklyn, New York, and always rocked the latest styles. He was a mix of punk skater and wanna-be gangster, but he took piano lessons. Yes he played in his church and was a deacon and sound tech also. But he had to have his own style, even if everyone else had the same style he did.
Lily didn’t really like him but as they talked more and more over the phone and texting he started to grow on her. She started to enjoy his company and at church she would sit with him after lunch. She was breaking out of her “good girl” chains into a more wild explorer. She started flirting with Tristan and he flirted back. There was a bond that was being made that shouldn’t have been but never the less it was happening. They were talking on the phone nearly every night, late at night so she wouldn’t get in trouble for talking to a guy nearly four years older than her self.
Lily had been sitting in her room reading and waiting for her cell to ring. Around 12 she decided to lay down since her book was making her tired. She must have fallen asleep quickly because she awoke to the sound of her phone chiming on the night stand. It was 2:45 in the morning, who in the world was calling her! She sat up a little and looked at the phone. It said Tristan Right. That seemed to make everything better. She answered “Hello?” it was a drowsy answer, she couldn’t quite clear the sleep from her voice yet. “Hey babe, what’s up?” he said sounding quite perky, he heard the sleep in her voice but still hadn’t checked his watch.
“Well, I was kind of sleeping, it is almost three.” She said, with a little attitude and less drowsiness. “Oh damn girl, I didn’t even realize it, sorry I was working out and then started playing my X-Box. I didn’t realize what time it was…” he trailed off, he wasn’t really sorry but he knew she didn’t care. He could tell she had a slight crush on him and he liked that, but he didn’t want her to know he knew.
“Well, I’m awake now so uh what game were you playing?”
“Mass Effect, I aint played it in awhile, wanted to see if I still got it.” He said, he sounded so proud of himself.
“I take it you still got it?” Lily was starting to drift off again.
“Oh yea baby I got that and a whole lot more. Hahaha if only you knew.”
“If only I knew what?”
“Well if I tell you then I can’t show you.” Tristan didn’t usually do conniving things but now he had an idea.
“What if I promise to let you show me, and you just tell me now?” she hadn’t really listened to what she’d said but knew that it didn’t sound like a good idea.
“Girl you aint up for all this, but maybe I’ll give ya a lil taste of me.” He said, he knew she’d take the bait.
“A taste? Mmm of what?”
“What you wanna taste baby girl?” Tristan said, he knew where he was going with this but he didn’t know how much she’d let slide.
“Oh… I don’t know everything.” She paused, wondering if she should say good bye, she had to get up in the morning for school and this conversation was taking a weird turn.
“Na, you’re not ready for everything, but maybe this Sabbath I’ll show you what you can try.”
“Uh huh, okay, well then I’ll be looking forward to it, but honey I’m tired and I have school and I just really need to go to sleep. I’m practically fall’n asleep on you.” She said and then yawned long.
“Okay, baby girl I’ll catcha later. Sleep tight.” He whispered kind of tired himself but really trying not to be too disturbing.
“Okay Tray, night, night. Sweet dreams.”
“You too.”
They hung up the phone, Lily was out by the time her head hit the pillow but Tristan was still awake, laying on his bed thinking about her. She was cute, like a small woman with a little girl’s innocents; he didn’t know what to do with her. She had so many womanly things about her that hanging around her was well not good for his “morals”. He knew that eventually things would get out of hand, but until then he’d just sit back and enjoy what he had with her. After a few more moments of thought about Lily he slipped into unconsciousness.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Every morning Lily would text Tristan good morning and he’d always reply “Morning have a great day” it was like clock work now. Then Lily would walk into school and be Lily the school girl. As if the night before she hadn’t done anything like staying up till 3 am. She was good at hiding everything about her now and Tristan had helped the change her into the secretive person she was. Life was great, but only if you knew the lie and not the reality.


Chapter 7
“Little Miss Bad”

Lily had been the most devious girl ever since Tristan had come into her life. She was keeping things from her parents, she was constantly arguing with her sister, and worst of all she had completely stopped praying. She didn’t care what people thought of her and she had the attitude to prove it. It’d only been five months since she’d started talking to Tristan but in that short span of time she had totally changed.

“I have an idea” Tristan said over the phone, “We can meet in the sound room this Sabbath. I’m running it so we’d be the only ones in there and no one can see past the window.”
“Oh, why would we be meeting there?” Lily asked, even though she had done a lot of changing she was still borderline innocent and quite naïve. She was good at pretending to be the ideal Christian girl in front of adults and some youth, but the kids her age were beginning to see her true colors. Tristan knew this and in his own way he tried to protect her by being more secretive about there… uh “relationship”.
“Well, I was thinking I could show you a few mmm, techniques we could use when we “play”.” “Why does it always sound like something dirty when you say “play”? Lily was sort of teasing but at the same time a tad curious.
“Because it is dirty just like the way you run your hands over my jeans like your going to do something and then don’t.”
“Hey now, you know I’m only teasing, we never have the time for that sort of thing anyway.”
“Just admit it Lily, you’re a tease, and you won’t ever act on your seductive side.” The way he said that made Lily feel less than good. She now had to prove that she could do more than make out in a bath room. She would go to his place right now.
“Fine, considering I’m at mom’s job and I can walk to your house we’ll see how much a tease I am, forget waiting till Sabbath you can show me now.”
“What? Your kidding right…you don’t have the guts for that.” Tristan was dismayed she’d never said anything that bold but he still had to taunt her. He thought she wouldn’t come but then she said, “I’m going to ask my mom and then I’ll be right over.” Click. She hung up on him. Tristan sat there for a second half shocked and half excited. What if s he really came over? There were so many things he could convince her to do. Oh man he couldn’t wait.

When Lily asked her mom if she could “go for a walk” Mrs. Tyler had agreed and even urged her to do. Lily had been quite lazy lately so her sudden inspiration for exercise was welcomed, when it should have been suspicious. Lily had said thank you and kissed her mom then ran out. Calling Tristan only to tell him she was on her way and then hung up again. She jogged most of the way to his apartment. He did live with his mom but she worked pretty much all day and into the night sometimes, the house would be adult free. She was wearing a pair of khaki shorts, black tank top, and converse sneakers, clothes that are very easy to get out of.
Lily finally made it to his apartment and knocked on the door. It was quiet and then she heard movement. She waited a little longer and knocked again, the door flew open. There stood Tristan, shirtless with baggy jean shorts on. He was very handsome; it was obvious that he worked out. She stood there and stared at the long span of his chest and shoulders and then gazed into his face. It was filled with shock and lust.
“Well are you going to let me in?” Lily said quietly still looking into those eyes that weren’t at all easy to read.
“Oh yea, duh.” He said and opened the door a little wider. She walked in and took off her shoes and then followed him to his room. He sat on his bed and she sat next to him, not to close but just enough to be halfway comfortable. She was starting to have second thoughts about going to his house, into his room, into what they were destined to be doing.

He watched her; she looked uncomfortable like she didn’t like the idea anymore. She sat there and looked at all his stuff. This was the first time she’d ever been in his house, so at least that made since. Her cloths were fitted, her curves showing through in all areas. Her thighs were well rounded, shapely, and her posture showed off quite a bit of cleavage. Her hair was hanging down her back, wavy and a little tousled. Had she been running or something? Even her breathing was a little harsh. Her mouth was full and slightly open, letting in more air, her eyes were down but he could still see the browns in her eyes and the odd clarity in her gaze. She had piercing eyes. Beautiful described her well.
“Are you okay?” he asked trying to break the silence. Her breathing had quieted.
“Yes, I’m fine. So what now?” she asked starting to tease him again.
“Oh, um well I haven’t completely decided yet.” It was the truth he hadn’t decided but now he really needed to think. He knew plenty of things he wanted to do but hadn’t the slightest clue what she’d be in to. He watched her move slightly closer to him, not enough for it to be an invitation but just enough to be more comfortable. Tristan watched her and then leaned over and kissed her. That was definitely one way to melt the ice. There wasn’t any shock in her response but there was a shyness that said she was not sure of herself. She kissed him back slowly, languid.

“What are you doing?! This is insane! Where has your common sense gone! Idiot!” Lily’s mind was screaming at her but she couldn’t stop, she could almost ignore her conscious at this point. Tristan had moved them so he was leaning over her and she was lying on the bed. All the shyness and reserve she’d had was now washed away in a flood of lust. She wasn’t thinking about the after effects or even how she’d feel. She was only in the exact moment. Tristan moved his mouth from hers and was now kissing her neck and shoulder, still moving lower. She stopped him, having a slight moment of clarity she started to sit up, but he stopped her, forcing her to lie back down. “Its okay, relax” he whispered, his breath caressing her neck. “Lily you need to get up right now.” Her mind said to her, it was stern, forceful, but she was already losing her will.
His hands slid between the materials of her shirt, and pressed against her skin. He was warm and inviting, like there was no harm. He kissed her softly before removing the tank top completely. He sat back a little and just looked at her. A slight smirk playing on his face, he moved his hand towards her bra strap, but then stopped. He climbed off his bed and went to his dresser. Opening the bottom drawer he pulled out a small package. She knew what it was but didn’t have the urge to say no. To tell him things had gone as far as they were going. She was covered in want, and no sane thoughts flowed to her mind.

Twenty minutes later he got up. Lily just lay there, naked; she hadn’t even noticed when the rest of her cloths had gone. The actual experience had been, well okay. Nothing like what she’d expected. Once she’d been told it would be amazing like nothing you’ve ever felt, she’d also been told it would hurt. It hadn’t, not really anyway. There was only a dull ache in her stomach but nothing painful. The experience wasn’t something exactly amazing but at the same time it had felt, well good. She sat up, looked around see if he’d be coming back in the room anytime soon. She grabbed her shorts and slipped them on, then her bra. He walked in, wearing his shorts but still no shirt. He had a smirk on his face. It made Lily feel weird, like if his ego had sky rocketed. He walked over to her and kissed her again. “What’d you think?” he said, still very close to her, not backing up.
“Um, it was interesting.” She said, not knowing really how to explain what she’d felt. He looked hurt for a second like, as if that skyscraper ego was crashing down, but that only lasted a second.
“Well the first time isn’t always that great, the second time gets better but the third and forth are the best.” He said, he was speaking like it was going to happen a lot more.
“Well uh, that’s good I guess.” She didn’t really know if she wanted to do it again. “I should probably be getting back; mom might start wondering where I went.” Tristan just stared at her, his look becoming concerned.
“Are you okay? Did I hurt you?” the worry was really apparent.
“Yeah I’m fine, I mean it doesn’t hurt, really just feels weird. And uh yea I’m fine.” She had tried for the light tone but now that she was standing the dull ache felt a little more painful. Tristan continued to look at her, not wanting to let her go. “I’m fine.” She said, her voice was a little harsh. He released her arms and took a step back. “Okay if you say so.” He watched as she put on her shirt and shoes. When she stood back up there was tears in her eyes, as if she wanted to cry but wouldn’t. She went to him and hugged him. He rubbed her back; she leaned away from him and left, now all that was left was his thoughts.


Chapter 8
“Happiness in the mist of Regret”


For the past eight months Lily hadn’t cared what anyone thought of her, she had been bold and fierce. No one had the nerve to say anything to her face, which meant all the gossip was behind her back. She hadn’t realized how despised she’d become until after her day with Tristan. It’d been two months since that day, she didn’t see as much of him anymore. She felt horrible about what they had done and had the odd sickening feeling that no matter how much precaution they had taken, she could still end up with a kid. Tristan had tried telling her that it was impossible but Lily still couldn’t shake the feeling. She knew her parents would kill her if she did end up pregnant so it was a looming bolder of stress over her head.
Since being with Tristan she had moped around and counted the days till her period. Everyday was harder than the last and when her period was three days late she nearly died of self induced stress. She had never been happy for mother natures “gift” but the day it came she nearly cried she was so happy.
After the cloud had been lifted, Lily started back into her old form of mischievousness, except now she knew how people really saw her. She knew that some of the people she had considered friend and confidants had been lying about her and spreading most of the gossip. It was shocking how people had been saying she was sleeping around with nearly every guy she knew, doing drugs and had become a party addict. Those things were so far from the truth it wasn’t even fathomable. She’d gone to one party in the last five months and had only been talking to Tristan. Drugs were the most far out since everyone knew she swore those off way before she even had the slightest clue about the real harms of them, and once she knew there effects she was die hard against them.
Tristan continued to talk to Lily and on several occasions they “hooked up” again. Every time was better than the last but worse at the same time. Lily was starting to feel disgusted with herself, dirty. She’d lost weight, and didn’t want to do anything social anymore. She had definitely become a recluse. No one saw her and no one cared to. The only person she ever spoke to was Tristan and a guy at her church named Adam. Adam had moved back to Mississippi from Arizona the year before and they had become friends. He was the only one who didn’t believe any of the stuff he heard because he knew her so well. He didn’t even ask her because he knew the answer. He had become a rock for her; she didn’t feel like she had to put on a show around him like she did around Tristan and didn’t feel the need to talk about scandalous things because he was so pure. He was perfect, but not in the sex appeal kind of way but in the Godly sense and she liked that about him.

Every week at church Adam would look for Lily, she was always by herself and he knew she liked him company. His parents didn’t like that he was always around her but he didn’t care, she wanted him around so he would be. He saw her in the corner with her plate; there was nearly nothing on it. He didn’t like that Lily wasn’t eating. He’d been friends with her for awhile now and noticed when things started changing. Her appetite went first, then the womanly curves she had started to drift away. Now she would hide behind a mask of dark hair and cloths that didn’t quite fit anymore.
He hadn’t realized he’d been staring until she looked up and straight at him. She flashed a smile that lit up her whole face and waved him over. He bounced back into time and walked straight to her taking her plate and putting his in front of her. “Eat” he said, with that stern glare he got when he was seriously serious. He smile faded just a touch.
“Adam I’m not hungry, and you’re not my mother stop trying to feed me!” she said laughing a little and trying to joke it off. He didn’t take the bait. He was tired of her melancholy attitude and the way she tried to use fake humor to get out of everything.
“Lily we need to talk…” now her smile was completely gone.
“I don’t’ feel like talking.”
“To bad.” He grabbed the plate and her arm and lifted her up. Taking her by the wrist he led her out side to the picnic tables on the side of the church. He sat her down with the plate and walked away.
He knew she couldn’t resist chocolate and there was death by chocolate cake inside along with brownies. He grabbed two slices of cake and three brownies and headed back out.
She was staring at the food without touching it. He set the desert down, and when she reached for it he smacked her hand.
“What was that for you moron!” she said, with a pitiful pout on her face. He felt triumphant he had a great idea.
“Well I’ve decided of your going to act like a child I’ll treat you like one. No desert until you eat that food first.” He said pointing to the plate still in front of her. He mouth fell agape for the slightest moment and then snapped shut.
“No I refuse.” She said. “Damn, she’s as stubborn as a mule!” Adam thought, but he knew how to get to her he wasn’t done yet.
“Really?” he said taking a huge bite of his slice of cake, chewing slowly for affect. “You know Lily this cake is really, really good, sorry you’re missing out. I might just eat your piece too!” Adam had her now; she had that pouty look back with cruel intensity.
“Fine, you turd-munch of a butt-face!” Lily said under her breath as she picked up the fork and stabbed what looked like meat loaf. She shoved a huge bite into her mouth. It actually tasted ok. She took another huge bite and then a few more, pausing to swallow. Adam watched her and all his teasing was gone. Lily was starving herself he realized. It wasn’t that she wasn’t hungry her realized and she shoved salad into her mouth, it was something else, like she had no care for her own health. “What in the world was wrong with her!” he thought as she started scraping the plate clean. With a satisfied look she glanced up and said, “Happy now?” the teasing tone and smile was back and she actually looked just a tad bit better.
“Yes I’m very happy, but sad that I have to share this cake now.”
“Well to bad get over it.” She said as she took her plate and two of the three brownies. She bit into a brownie and sighed, closing her eyes. He watched her chew; she was so pretty when she was that determined.
“I’m over it, Lily why aren’t you eating? I know your lying to me about the whole “not being hungry” thing, so what is it?” she froze, she opened her eyes and he saw ice.
“I don’t want to talk about it Adam.” She said it, coolly no emotion in her tone at all. The drabness was back. But Adam wasn’t having it.
“No, you’re going to talk to me; you’re going to tell me right now. Damn Felicity, you’ve got everyone all worried about you and for what? No one knows what the hell is going on with you!” Adam hadn’t meant to yell at her, but it had worked. The ice was replaced by fire. It always amazed him how quickly she switched emotions, but this fire wasn’t the kind that was blazing with furry, it was more an ember being fed again.
“If I tell you… you will judge me like everyone else. You don’t need to know.”
“Yes I do, and I will never judge. I swear Lily.” He watched as her shoulders slumped in inevitable defeat and she sighed.
“Almost three month ago I lost my virginity, and since then I haven’t wanted to be around anyone…I found out what every one has been saying about me and none of its true, I’ve only ever been with one guy and not I’m done with even that. I have never, and will never do drugs and I’ve never been into parties. I practically can’t stand them. Everyone thinks I’m a slut, and I’m not. I have messed up, majorly messed up, I’ve been such a bitch to everyone that it almost makes sense for them to have the opinions they do…….I’m sorry.” She had spoken mostly in a whisper but Adam had heard every word. He wasn’t too surprised. He was shocked about the whole virginity thing but the rest he had sort of known about. He stood up and walked around the table to sit next to her. Lily was hunched over, hiding her face with her hair. He didn’t know how she would react to him but didn’t care. He hated seeing her so down. He reached over and moved her hair, just in time to see one tear slide down her cheek. That killed all the resistance he had. Adam pulled her into his arms. She wrapped her arms around him and he felt her starting to cry. She only cried for a few minutes before she reigned in her emotions and sat up. Whipping her face she turned to him.
“Thank you Adam, you’re the best friend I could ever ask for…”
“No, I’m not the best anything, but I’ll always be here for you.” He reached over and pulled her back into his arms. She didn’t resist. They stayed like that until he had to leave. They had talked but nothing to deep. He realized he loved her, and unlike most guys he was determined to tell her right away. As he stood up to go he hugged her one last time.
“Lily I want you to know, that know matter what anyone else thinks you are beautiful and special… and I love you for who you are and just the way you are.” Yes he had paused and stuttered just a little but either way his words had the intended affect. She had s shocked expression on her face and then grabbed him fiercely, hugging him as if she’d never see him again. “Adam, I love you so much! You are the best anyone could ever ask for! Thank you so much!” They stayed hugging until Adam’s dad started yelling for him to hurry up.
Lily let go, and Adam said goodbye. He walked away and Lily felt as if the whole world had been wrapped in band-aides. Everything would be okay.

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Tag der Veröffentlichung: 27.04.2011

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