Chapter 1: One small step for man, 1 Giant step for Leon.

There I was; just laid there, thinking. Thinking about you. Red Square vodka and enough pills to
run my own chemist. Sip, swallow... Sip swallow.
-10 years earlier-
Imagine an average 15 year old: depressed, love, happiness. Then there's me. Leon, Leon
Duckmanton. It was just an normal week, apart from it was half term, I was on Face book (what a
surprise) then I wrote a status 'like this and I'll tell you... (cant remember the rest)' then Justin liked
it, I inboxed him the reply to the status and he was like thanks, with a big computer smile. He was
an normal 15 year old teenager... DRUNK! He told me everything, yes everything. I fell for him,
every time I talked to him, I looked like joker, smiling to my self, which a big cheesy grin. That
week was a hard week to start of with: friends, family, you know- the usual stuff. Then it seemed
like all I wanted to do was talk to him... He turned into my long lost dream.
To be honest, I think I had fallen for him. I told him and it seemed all good, we was so close for
these few days, amazingly close... BANG, a text, a text from Leon. I've sort of with Ben. My heart,
Jesus, I can't explain where it had gone; matter of fact, what piece of it had gone where... It
shattered into thousands of pieces. I imagined the crack in my head... Picture a busy road, fast
lorry’s going past walking home with you best friend. There I was. Silently crying, but she didn't
notice anything (does she ever?). But then out of the blue, 10 minutes after the crying session ''are
you all right?'' Naomi pounced right at me; I just replied the normal yes, I'm fine routine and
pretending nothing was wrong.
It's amazing what a little smile can hide deep inside.
So I just went along with what I normally do; smile, it works a charm. But what was really going on
inside that skull?: Suicide, Death and sadness. Well what else do you expect? I got talking to Ben
and tell him he better look after Justin; cause I'm a kind friend (jealous friend). That's the story of
Leon and Justin, short but sweet; wait... that was just 3 days of us.

Chapter 2: Get out of my head.

Back to me, 25; all grown up now. The year Leon was to be happy. 20th February 2021; it was my
birthday. Big old 25. Great? It's amazing what the brain doesn't forget. 10 years ago I talked to
Justin. 10 years and 3 days ago... I fell in love. I still see him the odd time, down the mall or grocery
shopping; but that's all. He thinks I don't think of him much just a occasional 'Hey' down the street
but I guess its true, smiles hide a hell of a lot. I go home and just look a school picture, yes me and
Justin was sat next to each other. Best moment of my life if I'm to be honest. Anyway... I couldn't
get him out of my head: I'd hear his voice, over and over, I'd dream about him, think about him... He
was always there, no matter the situation no matter the time THERE. Everything seemed to remind
me of him; I mean everything: songs, film's, books and even people. Haunting me like the black
ghost of death, there and never to be forgotten.
I use to go out and just pounce around pretending to be so happy. In the end it didn't work. Justin
saw that something was on my mind, something he did know and something he couldn't understand
consequently we got talking; talking a lot. Morning till dawn we'd talk. It was heaven come soon.
Then one day (15th July 2021 to be exact) he text me; 'Leon, your in my head for hours on end, your
my dreams, your my soul to be honest your turning into my energy to survive. I was hoping you felt
the same, Mucho amor' (Spanish for much love). I phoned him as soon as I could.
''I love you too, I've loved you since we were 15, your in my head and I can't get rid of you.''
Justin went on to explain then he thinks we should start seeing each other and that our lives would
be perfect.

Chapter 3:Lost to the naked eye.

It was a September now, we was living the life. He'd meet me from work looking handsome as ever,
with our cross-bred dog (Mickey) and it was all just so bogus; it didn't seam real what so ever. The
sun now shines brighter than before, the key to my heart has been found once again; unlocked to
show my love to the one person I adore. Life was so perfect. But hey, nothing can be perfect. This
one night he slept at my house and he was in the shower. -Ding- he had a text. I was indecisive, do I
look, do I not... I should have trust in him. -Ring Ring- his phone rang, the name Matthew Barrlow
glued to the top of the screen underneath the words 'Incoming Call'. The phone stopped ringing, '1
miss call from Matthew Barrlow, 1 text message from Matthew Barrlow' all I could ask my self was
who is he? What did he want? I quickly unlocked his phone and read through the text conversation.
'Hey baby, can you come over again tonight?' - Matthew send.
'Can't babe, at Leon's house again, god I'm sick of this. I wish I never did that bet'.
I was so distraught I couldn't breath, it sickened me to know it was all bogus to start with. I knew
nothing could be right, why couldn't I see this. Why? The only thing that was running through my
head was 'revenge' Justin came back downstairs out of the shower and sat with my with just a towel
round his waist.
' I love you so much baby' he whispered into my ear.
'I know, I know' I replied.
I told him I had a surprise, that he would love it; I told him to close his eyes and I walked into the
kitchen. On the side was a knife rack. I took the biggest on and hid it behind my back whilst
walking into the family lounge area. He was laid on the sofa peaking through his fingers.
'I said close them baby' I laughed.
I guess he was expecting something nice, a gift maybe. Durex? What ever was going through his
mind I'd need more than just my naked eye to see it. I pulled the knife from behind my back and
leaped on him with enough force to start an global earthquake. I cried while stabbing my true love
constantly in the chest.
'Do you still love me now baby? Do you... DO YOU?'
I couldn't believe what I had done; he was dead, gone forever. I was never going to see him again.
Maybe this was for the good, but maybe better if someone else had done it. I was in tears, his
lifeless body laid on my couch surrounded by a puddle of blood, It felt like I was watching saw 3D;
but I more realistic I guess.

Chapter 4: The end to you.. Forever.

I knew I had to get him out of my life for good, but hide the evidence that I had done it. It's going to
be hard but it has to be done. I cleaned up all the lounge and I put his still body into a few black bin
liners. I berried the body underneath the back yard. Deep enough to trap any nasty smells. It was
finally December. I thought I had gotten away with then then A post came, a note reading 'I know
what you did last September'. I couldn't believe this was happening to me. It came with pictures of
me digging the hole and putting Justin into it; how they got the photo's I will never know. I tried my
hardest to get rid of the evidence one more time; but more professionally and find out who wrote
that letter. I had all my cousin go round the neighbourhood asking them to fill in a fake form, so I
could analyse there hand writing and try and match it to the note.
Nothing matched. Nothing at all. I knew the writing from somewhere but I don't know where. I felt
like I could just shout it out, it was crawling down the tip of my tongue to just be swallowed back
down. I kept a diary of everyone that could of done this. I had 6 names. Then it hit me. The note. It
was my handwriting; but how? I couldn't work it out for the love of god. I thought all night but it
just didn't make sense, nothing worked out. Nothing at all. I stayed away for the following week. I
didn't get no sleep I could... Then I had a thought; 'what if I was mental?' I ran to my cupboard and
snatched out Justin's phone from the back of the draw and read through the texts again:
'Hey baby, can you come over again tonight?'
'Can't babe, at Leon's house again, god I'm sick of this. I wish I never did that bet'.
Then I carried on reading.
'How come you placed it on that team anyway? There meant to be shit.'
I couldn't believe it, why couldn't I have read on.. Just why, I murdered him for no reason. He died
for nothing.
That afternoon I went to the shop and bought a bottle of vodka and as many pills I could buy (I
went to four different chemists and bought 40 tablets from each). I got home and opened the bottle
of vodka...
There I was; just laid there, thinking. Thinking about you. Red Square vodka and enough pills to
run my own chemist. Sip, swallow... Sip swallow.
I phoned the police straight after.
'hello 911 what’s your emergency?'
'I murdered my boyfriend. 25 Roadstop way.. To body’s to be collected'
and I hung up. I coughed and chocked and was sick until it turned to pure blood... That night Leon
passed away on 24th December 2021 23:52.

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Tag der Veröffentlichung: 01.08.2011

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