Sins of Water

I’ve always considered myself to be like water. I move fluidly, my mind ebbs and flows like the tide. Every time I see water, I’m calmed from whatever my have caused me anguish in the first place.

And lord knows I needed water tonight.

I sat on the cool green grass, gazing out at the pale water, reflecting the silvery moon. I was trying to find my peace, trying to feel the water’s comforting effect. Tonight wasn’t like all those other nights, though, and peace was avoiding my mind.

It’s what I get for trying to get rid of my past. But, before tonight, water had always relaxed me. Why was it different now? Why wouldn’t my mind rest, my thoughts ease?

The past is the past, I kept telling myself, and the past should stay out of my present mind.

Perhaps I simply have to go farther tonight. After all, I reasoned, I had gone farther earlier.

Ever so slowly, I peeled my grey shirt from my torso. It didn’t want to leave my body, and if I was honest with myself, I didn’t want it to either. It was as if my last defense from the glaring eye of the moon and the countless eyes of the stars were all focused in on me, judging. Judging, laying me as bare in their eyes as I now was entering the shallow pool.

I walked out farther. I needed to go deeper, as I had tried in my past. All I had ever wanted was knowledge, and love. I received nothing. There was no love for me, and I accepted that now.
I defy you, stars. Your judgment will not affect me.

I dove under, feeling my sins wash away once more as peace again filled my mind.

Impressum

Tag der Veröffentlichung: 28.10.2012

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