The plot

i cant believe i actually left my little whole of the earth that i have been living in for the past centuries to actually live a life for myself. Just thinking of that thought scares me to no end but at the same time it kinda excites me. Im going to raise my head up and actually look at this world that i abandon so many years ago. I have to say im a little ashamed of myself tho. After that sickening day where those bastards changed me i kinda fell apart. I lost myself , i was soo confused and thats what hurt the most. Sure i was betrayed and abandon but the confusion just swallowed me whole without any hesitation. i just gave up... that phrases makes me feel so ashamed. i Stacia Bella Glinair gave up!! when i was a human and looked at the others who had given up i had no mercy no remorse for those weaklings and its so ironic that when my life got hard i too gave up. I stopped fighting for myself and just let the world sway me around, As if i was a shell at the bottom of the sea being controlled as the ocean waves threw me around. haha wow when did i become so pathetic , o wait that's right i remember now its when i turned my back on society and found my hole to loath in pity. but hey enough with that sorrow talk , im a change girl now ,no wait i am a woman. "I going to forget about my past and focus on my future." hha Those words tingle on my tong , just dancing off it . Well i now live in Blacville North Carolina. that is where my new life begins and my old life ends. but I have to say a lot has changed since my time , the land has changed , the people have changed,but the thing that changed the most is... how do i say this umm its like the feelings have changed around the world. its like its not new anymore... well it is and isnt at the same time. its new as in my new life and what not but in my time it felt different the world was changing everyone was getting sooo excited about it . there was like a spring in everyone's step. but now .... now it just feels old. or maybe that just me but i feel as if something in the air is missing.its my first day of school in this town, and i have butterflies and it makes me want to throw up, i never was scared of school when i was human and u would think that since im a wolf and stuff i would be strong and confident but the more time i spend thinking about it the more time i want to go back to my hole and just sleep. real quick i want to go back to the wolf thing, i am strong and my wolf is even strong but it like two people living in one body. Most of the time its me who is in control but whenever im scared or insecure she takes over ,shes kinda like the other half of me or the other half of my half ,like my mate is the other half . but that just gets confusing to talk about basically what im trying to say is that she is always there for me she always knows what to do as well like the mother i never had . and that right there is the only thing that keeps me going these days. when i was in that hell hole picking up my scattered pieces of myself she was with me ever step of the way and she diddnt even mind it , in fact she liked helping me she hated seeing me soo.. soo disheveled . it felt like i have been with her all my life, you now when people say everyone has a monster deep within them , i believe that . i believe we all have that one beast lurking in the shadows of our own souls , waiting for its time to peak on out and take control of the things were to afraid of doing. wow gosh i getting lost in my own thoughts when i haven't even started my day at school. come on brain leave the spacing out to do at school,not while im getting ready for school. which starts only in a 2 hours!!!

the first meeting

It took me about half an hour to get out of my thoughts and start focusing on my appearance. which needed a lot of help. I have long brown hair that goes to my hips,and its pin straight as well so i diddnt need to straighten it, it diddnt take to long to grow and it wasn't damaged from hair tools since i have been in a whole for a past couple centuries. then i don't have any acne thank goodness i remember when i was human and getting acne was just a hasel to deal with then my eyes are light brown , hazel i guess u can say with a touch of lime to them to make myself a little exotic.i wasnt terribly short and wasn't extremely tall i was about 5'10 or 11 just tall enough. I was thin tho, almost to thin im still trying to gain the weight i had lost when i was in my darkest place. i diddnt really eat back then i diddnt see the need to, in those moments i diddnt care if i lived or died i just wanted to be alone , to gather my thoughts and processed and recover for what had happened. but if when my hunger got to bad my wolf side would take over and force me to hunt. i did not get affened or annoyed or really even cared she was just doing what was right for the both of us , she was the one who was starving with me , i diddnt want to take her down with me but as being apart of me it sometimes felt like i was . Gosh im doing it again im getting lost in my thoughts. when i finally picked out my clothes i decided on skinny jeans that were dark but faded and had holes in them with a light purple long sleeve shirt and a plad scarf and purple ugg boots, it was perfect for the weather since it was so cold out side but being a wold i diddnt mind but i wanted to blend in with what i expect the humans would be wearing. If you wondering how i have all this money and i do have a lot of money i had a couple of old family air looms and trust funds and i had collect things and accounts just in case there was a day that i would get out my hole in the world. ad that day did come and it worked out well for me . speaking of things since in this day and age civilization had come up with a lot of new toys to play with like cars. Gosh they had so many different styles and designs that i about drooled over when i first say them. but of course i needed to blend in but i still wanted to have fun with it so decided to go with the 2012 jeep wrangler in black. i dont no why i liked it so much maybe because of the openness of it or the way it looked soo free i liked it, some cars look so restricting and uncomfortable it makes it unappealing to look at. again!! i loss myself in my mind i can tell already its going to be a long day. As i got in my jeep and headed toward the small local school i started to think about my old days....
coming back to reality i turned into the school parking lot excitement and adrenaline roared threw my veins my wolf was getting excited as well ... i thought but the excitement that i thought was actually fear because what i failed to realize that there were already wolves there!!!!!!!! how could i forget !? i totally forgot to check to see if packs already owned the territory ! i was so rapped up with myself in my new life that i totally forgot about the basic and most important things you do before moving in to new territory!! check out the people!!!! at this point i wanted more than anything is to craw back into my hole and stay there till the ends of time but i couldnt i couldnt stop now i wasnt going to make the same mistake twice i wasnt going to give up!!! i already tasted the biter sweet taste of regret and i diddnt want to taste it again. i came out of my hole to get ride of this wretched taste not get more of it. So as i drove into the school parking lot i forced myself to sallow the all the fear that was caught up in my throat and forced myself not to look at them. it was extreamly hard! i could fell there eyes barring into my back as i drove past them, they were not actually looking at me to be percise but more at my wolf they wanted to find out every piece of information they could find . they were enraged about a unexpected guest coming into there home without any notice at all. i suppose again that was my fault . as i found the farthest parking spot away from those vultures i slowly got out of my car. At this point i was BEYOND FREAKING OUT!!! i was numb i was numb from the fear but i couldn't show it that would only make things worse for my wolf and myself in our new home. as my wolf was on edge and listening to ever noise in this school, i then realized i wasn't really afraid of the wolves ... wait let me rephrase that not all the fear that i had was for the wolves it was the school and the people, i haven't been to a place with so many people since that day. i was so afraid of the humans they were all staring at me, as if i was a new toy. remember i am in a small town they don't get that many new people. As i came out of my thoughts i was so close to the school but even worse i was so close to the wolves. as i walked a couple rows away from them i could still see them . they were glaring ... no glaring is an understatement .. i cant even put it into words .. just hatred comes to mind they were hating me and angry that i was there i was unwelcomed. that word "unwelcome" i was so familiar with that word , maybe to familiar . but what i did see more felt as i looked at those beasts was a beautiful man. my eyes instantly was drown to him he had pitch black hair as if it was made of crow feathers. and his body it was sooo ... perfect ! his muscles they were tearing threw his bark colored v-neck. but most importantly his eyes! they were gorgeous! no that too is an understatement they were breath taking ! they were a dark dark blue ,sapphire to be exact, they looked as tho they could see right threw you and i was probably right. He scared me tho , his beautiful looks were able to take away oxygen from your body and silently kill you but his aura was even worse! you diddnt even have to be a wolf to tell that he was alpha, it was pouring out of him , making shivers down my back every second that i looked. his wolf was old well he was older than me and he was more vicious as well. i hadnt realized i stopped moving but i couldn't stop looking into to those eyes, they were so cold yet soo inviting it was as if they were inviting me over .. no more like compelling me over to him but my wolf was not going to allow it she knew if i went over there or so much i got a little closer to them ,we would be goners. i am also alone wolf so i was by myself while they had a whole pack of dangerous beasts! As i forced myself to keep walking the bell had already rung and all the students started piling into the already way to small school to get on with there day. they were unaware of all the danger around them and they diddnt care while Stacia was in the middle or more like the cause of this danger. oh how she wished she could be like all the others and not feel or be in the danger but she couldn't . she is what she is and nothing can change that . that is one thing that Stacia had learned in all those centuries in the bitterness of the dark.. she couldn't change what had already happened and that she would just had to cope with it. but all she knew was that she had survived the first meeting.

the school life

As Stacia walked into the school , well more like ran into it soo that she would be surrounded by humans so the wolves couldnt get her. but it wasn't like they mad much of a difference , if the wolves really wanted her they would have stopped her the second she drove into the parking lot. that right there raised a red flag. why diddnt they stop her? why did they just stare at her? where they expecting her? All these question swirled around her brain , just taunting her and the more she tried to come up with an answer the more confused she would get.then she started to feel overwhelmed as she headed toward the school the more people would fill into the hallways making her feel so claustrophobic as if the walls were caving in on her. she found the front office and quickly went in to it. the office was just like what i expected cold white walls, the same ones you would probably find in an insane asylum , but i diddnt mind it made me feel a little safer. as i walked up to a lady with a red and white dress on and red lipstick that just jumped out at you i asked her if i could get my schedule . and of course she gave me an eye roll showing me that she did not want to do this . When she had finally gave me my schedule i took a quick look at it it was all honors classes and the braised my self to go back in those crowded halls. but again i really diddnt mind them that much i guess . it made me feel a little less alone. after all the years of loneliness i got used to the numbness the coldness of only relying on yourself that i just became part of my normal life . walking out of the office i noticed a group of humans where coming strait for me . As they surrounded me blocking anyway for me to escape back into the sea of people. a girl with long blonde hair with green eyes she looked like a cat . i new already i was not going to like her , she opened her mouth and talked with the most annoying voice and said " well hello there ! my name is misty and these are some of my friends . welcome to are school! what is your name?" i couldn't decided if i should just walk away , answer her question , or just punch that smirk off her smug face. since i was already looking over my shoulder with all these wolves around i decided to put the fakes t smile that i could do and answered her question "hi my name is Stacia and im so glad to be welcomed to ur school it means so much to me !" finishing off with a smile just as smug as hers. we were staring at each other for some time , i could easily kill her with i single move,i thought but she reached down and grabed my arm putting it with hers and said"great! so tell me everything about yourself and how about i give you a tour of our wonderful school. i answered with a "sure why not" and things went on from there. she talked about all the clicks and teachers and where my classes were and how she was the captain of the cheer-leading,dance and my different clubs. i could tell what she was doing she was trying to intimidate me wanting me to bow down to her making her top dog or should i say top cat , its what wolfs do when they meet other wolves as well, but i defiantly did not do as she said but just smiled . Right as the little group of people that started to surround us , probably trying to find out as much information as possible about this mysterious girl coming out of no where, and of course i had given them some information haha and of course none of it was true but i had to give them something so they wouldnt be that suspicious of me . so i told them i was from Tampa, Florida and my parents died when i was little and my very very humble grandmother had taken poor little old me into her home. but she recently died and wanting a new environment to live in i decided to move to North Carolina. Of course everyone stared with pity in there eyes for all the lose that i had gone threw hahaha i cant believe how week humans are, so easy to manipulate , it was as if i was there puppet master pulling the strings as they danced. i could already tell it wasnt going to be hard to make myself comfortable in this school. Right as i thought that the pack of wolves that were outside just walked right inside. it was as if a a cloud of tension and fear washed over everyone . all the humans shivered as they walked past them. they would run out of there path , not wanting to be in there line of site, tilting there heads down not wanting to make eye contact with any of them. I was astonished at the reaction they had gotten thinking how afraid they were of them , as i looked over even misty the girl i thought was top female the queen of the school shivered in fear at there presence. Now that right there scared me. As i shifted my gaze away from misty and all the other girls i looked up at the group of wolves. you could tell they were all strong ,senseless people, no Mercy for anyone .But what my wolf caught before me was that they werent even looking in my direction as if they forgot i was still in their territory , i thought to my wolf *maybe they dont care about use. maybe they dont mind use being here?* *I dont think so but either way be cautious dont let your guard down they might just be waiting for use to let are guard down then attack* i agreed to what she had said and decided that it was time to got to class..
Going threw my classes i noticed there was a couple of wolves in each of my classes but none of them had the mysterious raven haired boy in them. Surprisingly to me that kinda disappointed me a part of me wanted to see that boy every second as if he was the only thing i could think about all day i couldnt stop thinking about him ,but the other part of me was glad he wasnt. he was powerful and strong and that scared me so much!! he was soooo dangerous it makes her want to stay as fair away from his as possible but on the other hand his dangerousness is what attracted her the most. they feel that he wasnt safe is what he liked about him . Stacia new she would have so much fun with him running threw the woods with him playing with him seemed like a fantasy to her a dream that she knew could never come true.
going into lunch was which my second to last period then physics then home. Finally just two more classes then i could go hide under my covers and process what happened today. looking around like always my eyes instantly found my mystery man or the alpha i could say sitting with his pack mates and again they diddnt even look over at me to my surprise again i was disappointed i wanted to see those dark emerald eyes boring into me compelling me to come to him. but they diddnt they stayed on his pack mates chatting up with his family.
"family" that is such a foreign word to me i never had a family i was always alone in life even when i was human , centuries ago i had a mother and father and many siblings. it might just be me or something but i dont think we had condoms back then. because my mother was popping out child like rain drops. So of course my family was big i had lots of brothers and sisters but even then i felt soo alone no one understood me . none of my siblings got along with me or heck i dont even think they liked me. they would always isolate me from them or any of there friends , always pushing me into corners forcing me to fight them but i never wanted to fight , but of course i had to , haha and of course i always would lose.it wasnt because i coudnt fight because i could but they out numbered me and because my parents always would side with them. My parents hated me , i was always there least favorite out of all of there kids and the saddest part of it was i dont even no why the hated me , why they looked at me with disgust , why they were ashamed of me . i diddnt do anything , i was a good kid never got into fights at school had good grades, i was always looking for there approval but i never would get it . hahaha i never once got a "good job" or a "im proud of you" or even an "i love you" . pathetic right haha i know. but i guess im not entirely alone i suppose i do have my wolf and thats all i need to keep the darkness from completely consuming my heart.
coming back to reality i had found a seat with all the girls that i had saw this morning and misty . They were talking about homecoming and football games and other normal things girls talk about but i couldnt focus on them i just couldnt stop glancing over to the wolves table ." you now you shouldnt concern yourself with those guys" misty had said following where my gaze had been. i answered with a "is that so and why not? " i had my own idea as to why i shouldnt but i wanted to see what she had to say. Misty said " because your not suppose to" as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. i said "and why is that?"with curiosity Ozzing out of my mouth."because your not as simple as that" cutting off all ties to the conversation i could tell it scared her talking about them .like they had done something so terrible to her that it made her scared to even think about. so i decided i would save that conversation for another time. Right on schedule the bell had rung and everyone left to go to there last class...

Worst decision ever

Impressum

Tag der Veröffentlichung: 20.08.2012

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