Chapter 1: The Start of it All

      I sat in the van, staring absently minded out of the window, not think of anything in particular. I rub my temples irritated at the on coming headache. When did I first start getting these again? Whatever now's not the time to thing about it, I look down at my lap and rubbed Mikey's head. Mikey's my dog, the golden retriever that I've had sense I was 13, it was the first and only moving present that I really love more then anything.

          Let's see I'm 16 now, so that makes him 3 and 4 months. He looks up at me sadly I know he hates moving just as much as I do, I sigh as I look back out at the beautiful thriving green forest that we're driving past. I put my head phones in, but I try and keep the volume low enough so I wont get yelled at, but, as always, I do anyway.

          "Billie you better turn that music down so help me god!" My mom yells to the back of the van. I sigh, not really in the mood to argue with her, so I just turn off my music and lean my head against the cool window. We drive for only a few more miles until we stop at a hotel, well a few actually, most of the places that we stopped at first didn't allow Mikey to come into the hotel with us, and that's a huge thing for me.

After we got our room, and everything had settled down my mom decided to go out and look for a McDonalds or Burger King, or something. She asked me what I wanted and I told her anything that she would think that I would like, aka anything. 

          I went to the bathroom intending to take a shower....but as soon as I took my shirt off I couldn't stand the sight of myself. Ok so the reason of this is that I cut, well I used to so far it's been about 5 or 6 months, but the sight on the scars on my stomach and hips is enough to make anyone not be able to look at themselves. I walk out of the bathroom, wanting to avoid the on coming flashbacks of all of the reasons I wanted to cut. Then the tears started flowing, and I didn't want to stop them I just wanted to let go of everything, and this is a way better way for releasing my feelings then through cutting...right?

          Moving to the bed while pulling off my shirt and pants while not being able to see clearly was actually kinda hard but I managed, somewhat. I fumbled through my bag for a tank and loose shorts, after I got those on it was nice to cuddle with Mikey.

          So a new school, great, I thought to myself thinking of all the new people I have to introduce myself to. I shuddered at the thought, meeting new people again, new teachers that I'd have to tell my secret to. I's have to do anything to make sure that people don't find out like they did last year…. So last year I told a few people that I cut, to see if I could tell them what I wish I could tell everyone, including my mom. Of course that caused them to immediately drop me on the spot. I was utterly broken, and then I got call so many names, the ones that made my top list was "EMO, Freak of Nature, Depressed Bitch" and my number one favorite was "Suicidal Plague Starter" I'm not sure why but I just feel like it's the one that was the most thought up and original. I wanted to tell them that I could some how sense when people were lying to me, and that I could hear heart beats from over a few miles a way. I wanted to tell them that I could smell everyone's perfume and cologne in the morning, and after gym class every day and that's why I always have headaches. Unfortunately they failed the test, that I convinced myself I should put them through.

          I jumped scaring Mikey when I heard a laugh, then realized it was my new ringtone. I sighed as I grabbed it, expecting it was my mom, but was over joyed when I saw that it was my best friend, well my only friend that I tell everything to. "U tired/sleep yet?" she sent.

          "Nah, y?" I responded

          "Bc u won't believe what happened at school today!"

          "Must be important. U never gossip."

          "Ha, funny"

          "Lol, what happened?" I asked, not really caring or curious but because I knew she really wanted to tell me.

          "So, Ashton asked me out…."

          "WAIT! Forever crush Ash or the ugly band member from what's it called?!?!"

          "#1 my unreal 5sos bf is not ugly!!! #2 forever crush Ash!!!"

          "Lol, u know I love 5sos too, and that's awesome, good for you!"

          "UGH!"

          "??? What's wrong? What happened?" I asked completely confused.

          "Mom. She says I have to go, ttyt?"

          "Fs, baiii." I yawned, turning my phone back on to check the time 11:45, where is mom? I send her a quick text then plug my phone in and lay back down with Mikey. I tried to fight sleep knowing that I'm going to fall victim soon, but attempting to fight it as long as I can, defiantly not wanting the nightmares that could fallow.

Chapter 2: The Worst of The Worst, Or The Best of The Best?

       I have no idea when I feel asleep last night, I'll I know for sure is that it was sometime before my mom came back with food. As always I was the first one awake, so I decided to take Mikey out for a walk, and not wanting any interruptions I left my phone at home where I knew my mom would find it and left. Unlike every teenager ever I am an early bird, which comes in handy when you have a dog. Anyway there isn't really much of any place to walk around to so I just walk to the gas station that's at the corner for at least a few drinks or something for mom and I, and a few bottles of water for my baby (Mikey). 

          When I get back to the hotel my mom is sitting at the table, drinking some coffee that I made before I left, and is staring at my phone like it's going to do some tricks. " What, are you hoping it's gonna do a flip or something?" I ask

          "No smart ass, if I give you a phone I'd like you to use it and keep it on you if you go out. What is with you teenagers?"

          "Why don't you ask yourself? You used to be one."

          "Ha ha, very funny. Go and get in the shower before we leave, I don't want you stinking up the car."

         "Funny, I could say the something to you mom." I reply irratatedly, not wanting to talk to her anymore, and also not wanting to get into the shower. I face away from the mirror and strip. I don't take long in the shower though, because or my short hair it only takes me about seven minutes.

When I come out rapped in my towel my mom hands me a freshly clean pare of clothes comfy for me to change into for the last 7 hours of the drive. "Thank you."

          "No problem, sweetie," she replies right before she shuts the bathroom door. I yawn as I pull on my favorite 5sos/ATL/FOB (5 Seconds Of Summer/All TIme Low/Fall Out Boy) comfy clothes, then lay back down on my bed rubbing my forehead as I here the motel cleaning lady start doing her rounds for the day, I gag at the smell of her perfume extremely disgusted. I quickly rush over to my bag and grab the only thing that helps me when I get a headache caused by smells, my lemon scented candle. I light it and set in on the table next to my bed, glad that my headache is fading. I here my mom turn off the water so I get back up and slide my flip flops on and finish packing up all of Mikey and I's things. Right before I can make a trip out side with all of Mikey's stuff, my mom comes out of the bathroom  in all of her naked "glory", stopping me from opening the door.

          I sigh putting everything down by the door and getting on my phone hopping my mom will take the hint and will quickly get dressed and won't talk to me. But she doesn't do either. "You know you don't have to do anything by your self, right? I will happily help you out, sweetheart."

          "Yea I know mom, I'd just rather do it my self."

          "Why?"

          "Why do you care?" I responded irritated, I know I'm being mean for no reason, but she just always gets on my nerves and bushes my buttons in all the wrong ways.

          "Young lady! Watch your mouth!" she yells clearly not wanting to deal with me. I barely catch her mumbling to her self "You wouldn't be speaking to me if you knew who I really was."

          "What did you say mom, if I can't mumble then neither can you!" Though I did hear her, I wouldn't let her know that, if she really wasn't my mom then I wouldn't be surprised we look way to different. I have pitch black, thick hair, I'm tall, and my eyes are a scary bright green. She has brown, thin hair, she'd short, and her eyes are a creamy mix of chocolate and caramel colors.

           "Really Billie, stop before you regret it." She replied, making it evident that she was keeping herself on a short leash with her forced nice tone, but I stopped angry, but not wanting to make the situation far worse then it needs to be. She had walked over to the bath room so I quickly made my way to the door, grabbed all of Mikey's things and left, before she could stop me. I rolled down the windows and got him settled in the car then walked back to the room and was happy that I saw mom talking with the check-in desk man, probably paying, so she didn't see me. I quickly grabbed my small over night bag went back into the bathroom to grab my brush then I walked out.

          I didn't realize the smell was so strong till I almost crashed into the lady wearing the perfume, the cleaning lady I realized. Though she gave me a dirty look she asked me if I was alright.

"Yea, I'm find. Uh…it's just a headache." I told her rubbing my temples achingly, not wanting to smell the strong honeysuckle and lilac sent. I moved past her not waiting for her response, I went straight to the car to an a waiting Mikey.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" My mom yelled after she closed the car door.

"Nothing, why on earth are you yelling?" I asked confused.

"While I was paying the cleaning lady told the man at the front desk that he should charge us more because of you, now what did you do to her?" she asked sternly, enforcing the fact of her wanting an answer.

"Oh my god mom, I didn't do anything to her, sh-she's the one that's lying!" I cursed myself out in my head, when ever I was lying or not telling the full truth I would stutter.

"Whatever, I'm not in the mood to argue we have a long drive a head of us still." She said rolling her eyes, evidently irritated.

"Why, did they charge you more?" I said jokingly, trying to lighten the mood.

"Yea, they did actually." she said, her anger starting to shine through again.

"Oh, well like I said, I didn't do a-anything to her." I sighed throwing my head back wishing I didn’t have this damn headache. I pull my phone out, and put on my music, hoping that it will distract me from it, and I notice that I have a text from Jill. I grown irritated that she's texting me while she's in school again. I glance at the time on the dash bored, 10:30 great, a half hour till she goes to lunch. I go back to my music, put my headphones in, and play Broken Home By 5sos.

I look out of the window, become mesmerized by the trees and the sunlight being close to over head, and the deer that seem to be frolicking in the field behind the trees. I smile to myself as I wish I could be with them. Running, prancing, and feeling free and without a care in the world. Though I don't want to, I find my self drifting into a calming and relaxing sleep.

~~~

I feel my thighs burning, and my sides hurt, how long have I been running? Why am I even running? All I know id that I need to keep running and pushing myself, I need to prove that I'm worthy. I race towards the lake I know I'm going to win, though I'm not sure what I'm going to win. I whimper as I accidently cut my arm on a tree branch. I hear something running behind me, is that what I'm running from? Well if it wasn't then it is now I think as I start running harder pushing myself more, I growl as I hear it come closer, as whatever it is starts gaining more ground on me. I finally break trough the trees I can see the lake, but it's a good 30 or 40 yards in front of me. I hear it come crashing though the trees behind me, close on my heals. I grind to a halt at the edge of the lake and look down, completely alarmed that I see a wolf looking back at me. I the wolf is a lovely night black, with shocking green eyes that I've seen somewhere before. I turn around just in time to see a striking oak brown wolf with night blue eyes looking back at me. He smiles at me, his face full of pride and impression.  I was in awe at how strong he looked, and how big he looked too.

Chapter 3:WAIT! WHAT?

I jolted awake and shook my head, that's the third time I've had that dream. Well I call them nightmares. I think that they're like visions of the future, well almost, this one hasn't happened. But I had a vision of me leaving Jill, and that came true. I've had a vision of my mom forgetting my birthday a few years in a row, and I gave her all day to remember then the next day I'd tell her and she'd fake feeling bad about it.

The past is the past, and I made myself promise not to hold myself to the past and let it dictate my future. My mom had pulled into a McDonald's drive through and was ordering herself some food, when she looked back and saw that I was a wake she frowned but still asked me what I wanted. "A 10 peace chicken nuggets with fries, and a cola please."

"Is that all you want Mrs. Piggy, or is that it?" She asked smirking

"That's it," I said angrily. When my mom ordered an chocolate ice cream with chocolate fudge on top I wanted to make a fat joke too, but I was just too tired from headache, and the fact that I just got scared a wake. "How many more hours till we are supposed to get there?" I asked trying to change the topic and subside my anger.

"The GPS says..." glancing at it, "about an hour and a half. Why?" She looked at me confused, probably wondering why I'm not eating or why I'm trying to start a conversation. 

"Cause I wanted to know how long I had to be stuck with you in this car," I said smiling to show that I was joking, though I wasn't.

"I hope you know that it's me stuck in the car with you and your crazy sleeping skills," she said then snorted at her "funny" comment. I just rolled my eyes faking a smile to get her to think that I though it was funny, though it really wasn't, "You've been out for about 5 hours.

All of a sudden it hit me, I had to pee, like badly. I unbuccled my seat belt and jumped out of the car, looking as causal as I could as I walked and made a B-line to the bathroom. I couldn't help but sigh, but I hated the looks that I got from the people that were sitting in the McDonald's. 

My mom was of cource mad that I had just jumped out of the car without telling her where I was going. I felt that she didn't need to know everything that I was doing 24/7 but I guess she felt different differently. "Thanks for the food mom, I appreciate it."

"It wasn't a problem, just don't jump out of the car with out telline where your going first, ok?"

"Yea sure mom." There wasn't really anything else to say so she and I ate our food in scilence, as soon as I was done I grabbed my phone and sent a quick taxt to Jill "Hey nerd, whats up?" I knew that she was probbly still sleeping so I wasn't expecting a responce for another hour or so. I sighed, irratated that I'd managed to pack my headphone in my bag. Not wanting to dig through it I went into my mom's glove bo and grabbed the spare I kept with me. Turning on my favorite 5sos song, Broken Home. 

I sang along with the song in my head, with Mikey sleeping next to me, he had eaten his fill of chicken nuguts and fries. I glanced at him and as if on cue he rolled over in his sleep, I knew he would wake up soon. "Mhmhmhmhm," was all I heard until my mom tapped my leg and got my attention so I could take my head phones out.

"Were almost there, and if your head phones are up so loud that you can't hear me then I break them all."

"Dang mom, no need to be taking such dreatic actions, and ok." I'm suprized, we haven't been on the road for very long I though flancing at the clock on the dash board. An hour and fourty-five minutes had passed and according to the GPS "our destination was on the left."

I looked at the window and as the sun was setting I saw the oldest mansion ever still built, it was creapy, but so was I and I knew I would get used to it. The yard was very large with I emeditaly liked because I knew thast Mikey would love to run around on it. The actual mansion its self looked like a castle, but with out towers coming out of the top. The color fo the brick that was made to build the exterior was a mild grey, and the doors looked the mosts modern out of everything that I could see. But the more I looked at the building, my new home, it seemed to look more and more familar. 

The building appeared in my mind, more like through my eyes, and I glanced at the cholate brown wolf that was standing next to me. I nussled againest him then ran twords the building. I heard him behind me, I knew he wanted to come with me, to protect me but my mom would filp her shit. He knew he couldn't come, so he only ran seven more yards behind me then stopped. The growling noise that came from behind me stopped me in my tracts, I came to a halt and trotted back to him, then out of no where he presses his nose against mine (kissed me). I've never wanted to be in human form with him more then that moment. 

"Earth to Billy, hello, is anyone there?" My mom said jolting me from the vision that I saw. I couldn't stop my self from growling at her, but it's far to say that both of us were equally suprized at me.

School

 Not even a day after we arived at the new house I was going to the new school.

Impressum

Tag der Veröffentlichung: 19.10.2015

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