My name is Kirsta Creighton I am eight-teen years old and this is my story.


My perents were dating when my mom was still in high school but my dad had dropped out. My mom was nineteen when she had me. But this story starts when I was 3 or at least I think I was 3. My mom was seeing someone when she and my dad were together. About two or three months after my birthday my mom decided to move in with the other guy and well lets just say I was not happy. I was much closer to my dad though I don’t think he knew that then.

We moved in with Joe and everything was fine at first. You see my mom and Joe were drug addicts and would drink until they would pass out. Four months passed and everything was still good if being raised by drug addicts is good. Which it is not believe me! It was not until about a year later that things started to get bad.

*****************************
At the age of four we were kicked out of Joe's condo with no where to go. We moved in to a motel. Little did i know that that would be what i called home. Things only got worse. When Joe was angry he would lash out. First it was only at my mom. It didn't take long for him to take in out on me. When he was mad he would lock me in the room. Other times he wouldn't let me eat and he would eat my food in front of me when he knew i was hungry.

It wasn't long before we were kicked out of that motel. We moved in to one just down the street from the first one,but Joe had a way of making sure we were homeless.

On my fourth birthday my dad Rick called and i hadn't talk to him since i was three. I remember it like it was yesterday.
" DADDY!!"
"hey baby girl. happy birthday! How old are you now?" he had asked.
"I'm four dad. Don't you remember?" I said sadly
"Yeah i remember. I'm just making sure you know."

He did forget. I couldn't understand how he could forget. I was his only kid and he couldn't remember the day i was born. Even at four I knew that was not normal for someone who loved their child. My mom also didnt care that it was my birthday. She didn't even try to take care of me most of the times. Between what Joe did to me and knowing my dad and mom didn't really love me, life was hard.

**************************
We only stayed that the motel until Joe got angry one night and broke the door, so it was maybe a week. We Then stayed in a camp ground and my mom was pregnet with my little sister.
Things had gotten so much worse. Joe started to beat me when he was angry. One night when we were at the camp ground to put me in his truck and said
" Everything that's going wrong is because of you. Things would be better if you weren't born. I don't want to see you, so stay here or leave. I don't care what you do just stay out of my sight."
I was only five years old. No five year old should be told that.

I didn't want to stay in the truck. Its was cold and i was so alone. So I walked to the ranger station. When i get there they were very nice, but they told me i had to go back. I had told them what Joe had said and all they did was tell me that he didn't mean what he had said. Well they didn't know him like i did.

****************************
We moved once again to an other camp ground, but this time my mom worked at the bar. She would take me to work with her. I remember everyone being very nice to me. Some would play darts with me. The bar tender would always give me three cherries in my sprite.

There was one guy i remember very well although i cant remember his name. He was very nice to me. He had brought games to play with me when my mom had to work, but we had to move again. My mom had gotten fierd.

My mom (Amy) had my baby sister when i was six. But she was taken to live with her grandperents. We moved to another motel and again didn't stay long. Joe's anger didn't alow for us to stay in one place for long.

When i was six Joe had put me in the hospitle. I was a bloody mess. I had a black eye and was bleeding from my noes and mouth. When they had brought in i was not breathing and had bruses on my ribbs. There are manny things i don't remember.

**********************************
When my brother was born, I was the one to take care of him. I was seven years old and taking care of a new born becuase Amy and Joe didn't care.

When I was ten, thet LA County Police had taken my brother and me form our perents. We were placed in foster care for three mounths. We were moved from one home to an other. one week here one week there. But it was ok as long as they didn't take my brother from me.

The third month our grandparents found us and we when to live with them. We stayed with them for three months then i went to live with my aunt and uncle and their kids. My brother went to live with our other aunt and uncle and their kids.

******************************
I was adopted when i was ten by my aunt and uncle.
The first few yours were not good. I had run away, Threatened to kill myself, I was depressed, and a cutter. I couldn't understand what it was like to have a family, a mother, a father, brothers. Sure I had all those things but I had parents who didn't care and a brother to take care of, but nothing like a real family.

I tried to understand what was going on but everything was so out of order in my life i couldn't get it straight. I was afraid of the mad i now call dad. I didn't trust guys or men in general always afraid to make them angry.

The last few years things have been so much better but things didnt stay that way. I have lots of new friends and my family is wonderful. I had stopped cutting and now I am going to collage! I had never thought i would have gotten so far in my life.

Now I am a dancer. I am trying to work out a way to help kids in my city, and i live life to the fullest! So between getting ready for school, trying to fined the right guy, and and just having fun, Life as never been better!

********************
Early this year I wad able to see my mom, after not seeing her for ten years. Things didn't go quite as I planed. Joe had come with her even thought she had been told not to. I was already nervous but when they told me he was there I felt my hart stop my hands grow cold and i almost passed out.

See this is the man that haunts my dreams. The very thing i try not to think of, but i can't ever seem to get away from. Most people try to stay away from clowns or spiders things like that, but for so long I can remember I tried to stay away from men. I don't mean cretin men, I mean all men. I didn't want them mad so then they wouldn't heart me. I was always afraid that they would hit me or something along thoughts lines.

But the worst part was when Amy tryed to tell me that she gave me up for my own good. Its sad how people change a story to make them selves feel better.
Amy now has no teeth, looks fifty but she is only thirty-eight. I do feel bad for her, but she made her own bed and now she has to sleep in it. She has made chooses that she will have to live with. Now she has to deal with what has happened because of them.

**************************************
I have also been able to see Rick (bio. dad).
It was really weird to hangout with someone who had abanded me. I have never like it when people told me they stayed away for my own good. It's just a bunch of bull shit. They never really mean that and you have to know that thats not true.

Rick is about forty,I think. He does look his age. Although when i first saw him i didn't know who he was. It's sad really,but i hadn't seen him for about twelve years. I had learned thing that i didnt want to know about him. Thing he should have kepped to himself. Things have been hard. I don't know if i want to have a relationship with him of not.

****************************************


In october I startede been talking to this guy I met online.
November comes afound and we've been hangingout for a maybe a month. Hes amazing, just talking to him makes me forget about things at home. We went to the beach and walked around. It was nice, but the best part was when he asked me to be his. It made me happy to know he care about me the way i about him.
****************************


I talk to my dad every once in a while but its slowly going back to not at all plus I don't really trust him. He didnt realky change. He's not as bad as he was but its a difforent kinda problem now.

But the thing thats wrong not is at home. For example. I went to school and then was going to hang out with my friends. My brothers (cousins) killed the kitchen. (so to speak) so in the middle of the movie I had just paid my dad(uncle) called me.this is what we said.
Me "hello?)
Him "kirsta get your ass home and clean the kitchen now!"
Me "but I just paid for my movie and its half way through. Cant one of the boys do it this once?"
Him "no now shut the hell up and get home!"
At the end of this I didn't think about the movie I just went home and cleaned the kitchen and went back out. I only got there in time to take everyone home. So I took them home and slowly made my way to the house.
*****************************


My dad(uncle) came home drunk one night. I was down stairs getting some water when he came in. he was mad and he was taking it out on me. He gave me a black eye and through some of my stuff out the second window. I took a picture and sent it to me boyfriend Danny and told him what happened. He got worried about me being there but we couldn't do anything about it.
*******************************


School was going well until I had to drop out after my mom and dad "aka" my aunt and uncle kicked me out. Its one thing to not like a childs perents but an other to dislike the child becouse of who their perants are. My aunt and uncle believe i'm no better than the dirt they walk on. To them i'm only the offspring of a prostitute and a drug dealer not worth the time of day.
******************************

My birthday came and went. Not much to say its just an other day only diforance is i'm an other year older. I'm 19. I'm tired of how things are right now. The only person that cares about me is Danny my grandpa P., and my real mom and my buddy marc who I call my big brother. Dannys always saying he love me. It's crazy that family can just throw you aside like trash but then someone comes along and shows you your worth more.

Danny and I now live together (i'm my car). I hate it its cold and so hard to sleep. My backs been killing me. In april I had my first freack out. I was a week late! (girl you know what I mean). I freacked out cuz we were not in a situation that we should bring a child in to and being a week late which never happens made me uneasy. On top of that my buddy marc was teasing my about it me being prego.

Sometime in the beginging of may Danny and I were sleeping in my car and a semi that parked behind us desided he wanted to take my car home with him. We woke up with a jurk and the sound of a car being smashed. Now my back really hurts. The stupid drive got out of the truck and said something that proved he was stupid.
Danny "what the hell man!"
I have never seen danny get mad like that and we've been together a while now.
Truck driver" im so sorry I forgot your car was there"
Me "how the hell did you just forget my car was here? You parked behind us last night and we haven'n mover."
So we extanged information and left I was so up set cuz my car is all I have.


********************************
I'm now getting to start anew. A now begining for a new life. A new home, a new school, my loving, but sometimes anoying boyfriend, my new friends and what I call my new family. I love dannys uncles and I'm sure they like me at lease thats how they act. I'm now 19, living with my boyfriend, and going to school. Some would say things are hard when its this way, but I love it.


I started to write this so that people would know that they were not alone. See i never had anyone who understood or would listen to me. This led me to do things that hurt me. I had tried to kill myself. I had stabbed, cut, chocked, over dosed on over the counter meds, and almost shot myself a number of times.

I want people to know that there are people that go though life afraid,hert,and alone. There are people like me who have woken up crying or scramming. Things like this don't ever really go away.
***********************************************

My name is Kirsta Creighton and this is only part of my story. I cant wait until i know the next chapter!

I'll up date this as life gos on. Thanx for reading. I would love to hear back from you.

Impressum

Tag der Veröffentlichung: 09.08.2010

Alle Rechte vorbehalten